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Tim had noticed it. Of course he had noticed it, it was his body. He just didn’t know why countless magazines felt entitled to reminding him about his problems. Again, it is his body, he is completely aware of how his voice sounds.
After getting his throat cut by Jason, which he has forgiven him for. This is despite the persistent nightmares. And after getting shot in the throat. It was a miracle that Tim still had a voice at all. So what if his sounds a little different?
Following both of his incidents, there was irreparable damage to his vocal cords. His trachea was completely separated. There was no coming back from that. It was amazing that the surgeons were able to secure his windpipe. The vocal cords collapsed entirely. They thought he would never talk again.
One random day during recovery following the first incident. Tim had been sitting in the Manor. Bruce had been in the other room. This was a typical day following the incident, until Bruce heard Tim’s voice calling out to him. It was a miracle.
Unfortunately, following the gunshot to the throat that miracle did not last entirely. His vocal cords were damaged beyond repair, one fluttered and one was completely paralyzed. This meant that his voice came out quite breathy and rough, nothing like the ringing clear tone that the Drake’s had raised him with.
There were some days that were worse than others. This was when his family all being fluent in ASL was quite helpful. Or when he was working at Wayne Tech Lucius could take over. But it was at galas like these when losing his voice was the worst.
“Hey Slut.” Jason said over Tim’s shoulder.
“What up bitch.” Tim said and grimaced at the rough sound of his voice. Jason grimaced along with him.
“Sheesh. Been gargling stones?” Jason said. There was a wash of guilt over his face. Tim knew that he would always blame a part of himself for causing this damage.
“Nah. Just bad luck in the brother department. Can bad guys seriously stop aiming for my throat?” Tim rolled his eyes and elbowed Jason. He didn’t have the patience for guilt.
“Careful there Rachel Berry, wouldn’t want the Demon to get any ideas.” Jason joked back, the guilt leaving him.
“No thank you. I have only half a cord left and I would rather like to keep it thanks.” Tim said.
“Well let me know if you want an excuse out of here. I’m happy to make a brave retreat.” Jason said while nodding at Roy who was trying to flag him down.
“I might take you up on that offer. Go. Have fun.” Tim said.
Jason starts to walk away and throws Tim a lazy salute. It wasn’t fair for Tim to retreat when Jason was Roy’s only friend here tonight. He also couldn’t stand the googly eyes they gave to each other. He will just find someone else to run away with. Or get some throat coat.
“Timothy Drake.”
“Vicki Vale.” Tim smiled as he turned around. Despite Vicki’s numerous attempts to reveal him as Red Robin. She was one of few reporters that did not needlessly pester Tim on his voice. The bar was on the floor.
“Have you noticed that your brother is getting offly close to that red head over there?”
“Which one?” Tim joked.
Vicki laughed and started to dig into her purse. She pulled out a Listerine breath strip. She took one herself and handed one to Tim. He took it and placed it on his tongue. This had been a common exchange at these events. Vicki had asthma, so having something coating her throat after all of her coughing helped her voice. She started to offer her stash to him after the public had learned about Tim’s accident.
“Why don’t you go upstairs kid?” Vicki asked. The idea was still very tempting, his room was just upstairs. No one would fault him. But it did seem kind of rude to skip your own gala.
“No. I’m alright for now. But thanks for checking in on me.”
“Okay kid. I guess I actually have to go do my job now.”
“You could also go home and not get into people’s business.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“You mean where’s the money in that?”
“Bingo!”
Tim sighed. Bruce really did have a type.
“Well if you must produce something by the end of the night. Mr. Harmmen has been seen walking around some shady parts of town. His new secretary used to be in the Freaks gang and Mrs. Harmmen doesn’t wear that shade of lipstick that he currently has stained on his collar.”
“You are my hero.” Vicki winked and stalked over to her prey. She knew but she had no way of proving. It was a weird friendship of cat and mouse. But who was the cat and who was the mouse?
The Listerine strip helped but didn’t fix the problem. The only good thing he could do for his voice now is shut up.
Eh screw it. Tim loosened his tie. Maybe he’ll just let Bruce handle this one. It was time for no-talk-Tim-time. He started to walk toward the roped exits of the event, blocking the public off from the family wing. Maybe he could sneak some ice cream from the family kitchen.
“Mr. Drake! I was hoping to catch you sometime tonight!” Steve from marketing said as he raced over to Tim.
“I wanted to quick go over some of the strategies we discussed about pushing the new Wayne Pods. There has been some concern surrounding how the older generation are going to adapt…..” Steve kept prattling on and on.
Tim knew that it was too good to be true. He should've just stayed in his little spot in the corner. Steve wouldn’t have been able to find him there. He could have just stayed silent in his own spot.
Tim was about 45 minutes into his conversation with Steve when he felt a firm hand fall on his shoulder. He smelled the aspenwood after-shave and knew that Dick was his savior. Thank the lord. Tim’s voice was getting quieter and quieter. Steve had asked him to speak up many times by then.
He turned to see the classic Dick Grayson smile.
“Steve! Long time no see!” Dick said.
Steve responded with an equally large smile and shook Dick’s hand.
“It’s going great! Wife and kids keep me busy. Living the dream!”
While they exchanged small talk, Tim looked around the gala. It was nearly empty by now. Had he really been talking that long? He felt a hand violently jab at his lower rib. There was Damian, never strayed far from Dick.
Damian handed Tim a handkerchief. Tim looked at it confused. The younger boy sighed and gestured around his mouth. Tim hurriedly wiped around his lips, and coughed into the handkerchief. When he pulled back he saw the blood that must have alerted Dick to come over and intervene.
“Well Steve, it’s been great to see you but the gala is now finishing up! I’m sure that Tim would be happy to talk to you more on Monday. Bye.”
Without giving Steve time to respond Dick whipped around and started to herd Tim and Damian past the velvet rope into the family wing.
Later that night, after Alfred had determined that Tim hadn’t done any more damage to his vocal cords, the three had been sitting in the family kitchen. It was a funny picture, all of them in crumpled formal clothes lounging around the kitchen.
“I am begging you next time. Just leave.” Dick hadn’t stopped his lecture on how dumb Tim was. It was hard to take him seriously with the tie on his forehead and the can of whip cream in his hand.
I didn’t want to make Steve mad. I like Steve. Tim signed.
“I know you like Steve but really dude, just let him know you have to leave. Steve is nice, he would've understood.” Dick sighed.
“Katniss Everdeen! When I said we could run away I meant it!” Jason said while entering the kitchen. Tim rolled his eyes from his seat at the breakfast bar. Jason stole a banana from the fruit basket and started to munch. His eyes didn’t lose the concern however.
“I was hoping you were gonna come through. I was looking for any excuse to get out of that event.” Roy was looking through the fridge. That man loves his pineapple juice. No one in the Wayne family liked it, but Alfred usually stocked some just for Roy.
Tim vaguely shrugged.
Didn’t want to third wheel. I was there for your first date. I don’t need to be there for more.
Damian snorted from his spot on the floor. He was sat on the floor petting Ace. His suit jacket was draped on the chair that Tim was sitting in. Ace was trying to eat the graham crackers in Damian’s hand.
“Rude.” Roy said, happily pulling out the pineapple juice. “We’re not that bad.”
Damian snorted again.
“Demon.”
“Oaf.”
“Devil Child.”
“Boomer.”
“Hey!”
“Red flag.”
“I’m getting bullied by a child,” Roy pouted.
Well, I am going to bed. Tell everyone else goodnight, except Bruce. Tim sighed and got up from the stool.
Dick threw him a thumbs up and focused on his banana split that he was making.
“Timbo, wait up.” Jason called. He had been very quiet during this whole exchange.
Roy sharply looked over. Looks like it was going to be one of those kinds of nights. Along with the pineapple juice, he started to brew some coffee. If Jason was feeling guilty, he was going to get flashbacks about the tower. There was going to be very little sleep tonight.
“I’ll be here.” Roy called after Jason. Jason turned back and nodded.
They walked together to Tim’s door. Jason helped Tim make his bed, grab his meds, and handed Tim a hotpack to put over his throat. Tim rubbed some lotions over the scars left and placed the hotpack. He gestured to Jason to start his spiel.
“Timbers, I know we’ve done this dance before. But I’m going to do it again and again.” Jason said sitting on the edge of the bed.
And I’ll keep telling you that it is okay.
“I’m still so sorry for what I did to you. I know that the pit was egging me on. But I still had some level of control. And I should’ve done better. Your entire life has changed because of what I did to you. What I did to my little brother. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself. I know that not all that damage was because of me. But I sure as hell didn’t help.”
Jason sighed and got up from the bed.
“Get some sleep Snake Eyes. Steve will want you back at full capacity on Monday.”
Goodnight Jason.
Tim’s voice will never be like what it was. But Tim will never be like what he was. All he can do is take the triumphs and scars in stride and keep going.