Work Text:
My Heart Stumbles (on things I don't know)
Isabela lifts her hand so she can stare at her knuckles.
The red looks weird on her skin. It feels weird, too. Is blood supposed to be this cold? Isn’t it meant to be warm and sticky? It feels more like paint, reminds her of afternoons spent doing arts and crafts with Antonio and Tio Bruno. She expects to see some glitter in the red, some wayward scraps of paper, glue threatening to stick her fingers together.
But it’s not paint. It’s blood.
And it’s not her own either. Maybe that’s why it’s cold.
White noise has filled her ears ever since that one fateful sentence. The one that made her lose control, made her pull her arm back and spring it forward again with deadly precision. She didn’t hear the crunch of a nose breaking or the thump of a body hitting the ground or the high pitched scream of her victim. She only heard that horrible sentence on repeat, faster and faster, until it turned into static.
Even now, that static rises and falls, fluctuating with Katja’s screams.
Dios, that girl got lungs.
“Shut up.” Isabela says without any force, her voice toneless and disinterested. Completely void of emotion. All her fury, all her fear, all her guilt has gone into that punch. She is empty now. “It’s not that bad.”
“You broke my nose!”
Isabela keeps staring at her knuckles which are starting to hurt a little. She bends her fingers and turns her hand. She doesn’t think she’s ever had blood on her skin. Not her own. Not anyone else’s. It feels so weird.
Katja is still screeching and Isabela is starting to get a headache.
“Shut up!”, she repeats. Emotions fill her again. Finally. Feeling empty feels worse than the blood on her knuckles. “Shut up and get up! You shouldn't have said those things about Mirabel! You deserve this!”
Youdeservethisyoudeservethisyoudeservethis
Katja stumbles to her feet. The blood is flowing freely and her nose, once small and petite, looks grotesque. Isabela can see it turning blue beneath Katja's hand. “As if you haven’t talked just like me a few months ago! Don’t be all high and mighty now, Isabela Madrigal! You are no different!”
I deserve this.
Isabela clenches her fist and it feels so good when Katja takes a step back, when fear flashes through her eyes.
She feels so good.
She feels so empty.
Isabela doesn't know what she is supposed to do now. It's a weird limbo she finds herself caught in. The fight feels like it is over before it has even begun but Katja is still glaring at her, is still not backing down. Should she swing again? Should she walk away? Surely walking off is the only sensible choice here, but at the same time Isabela's blood keeps boiling beneath her skin. Her fingers tingle, her knuckles even more so.
Before Isabela can do something she'll regret even more, Luisa appears by her side. Somehow Isabela just knows that Dolores sent her. She expects to feel irritation at the unwanted surveillance but all that fills her is relief. Just Luisa's presence calms her down.
Luisa takes one look at Katja's nose and at Isabela's hand and quickly begins to steer her big sister away. “That’s enough, you two. Let’s go, Isa.”
“Hey! I demand an apology!”
Luisa stops and turns back to Katja. She tilts her head a little. “I am sorry for what happened here.”
Isabela grinds her teeth. Luisa has no business sounding so defeated. She has no business sounding so empty. That’s Isabela’s cross to bear.
She opens her mouth, but Luisa squeezes her shoulder.
Stay quiet. Stay out of it. You’ve done enough.
Isabela stays silent.
“Not from you! From her! No matter, I will go to Senora Madrigal with this! She needs to be punished.”
A stone settles in Isabela’s stomach. No matter how much things have changed, she will never not dread disappointing her Abuela. The thought of the woman looking at her with that pinched expression, a slight shake of her head as she tells Isabela 'I expected better of you' is enough to send ice through her veins.
Boiling blood no more.
Luisa stares at the other girl with an unreadable expression. After what feels like an eternity she reaches into her pocket and pulls out one of Mama’s cookies. She throws it at Katja with a carelessness that is very unlike her. The other girl is barely able to catch it in time. “If you do that, I will have to tell Abulea about the scratch on Isa’s cheek.” There is a scratch on her cheek? Isablea resists the urge to reach up and feel her skin. Everything feels very far away right now. “And I will have to tell my Mama what you said about Mirabel which might mean that this," she nods to the cookie in Katja's hand "is the last healing food you can expect for the foreseeable future.” Luisa straightens up so she towers over Katja and stares her straight in the eyes. “I’m sure none of that is necessary.”
Katja doesn’t say anything, but Isabela can see the defeat in her eyes. No one messes with the Madrigals. Luisa must see it too because she nods once and pulls Isa away towards home.
Isabela looks up at Luisa’s face, to thank her, to tell her that she could have managed on her own, she is not sure. But the look on Luisa’s face stops her in her tracks.
Her little sister looks frightened and heartbroken. She looks close to tears.
Luisa has always hated using her height to intimidate people, has always made it a point to appear as non threatening as possible.
By using her status as a Madrigal and her considerable height to keep Katja from running to Abuela she has gone against everything she stands for.
And it’s all Isabela’s fault.
She squeezes her bloody hand and tries to remind herself that she had no choice. Katja deserved this.
She deserved this!
You deserve this.