Work Text:
Carlos lets out a pained noise that he tries to muffle, but he can’t. Every move makes his body ache, muscles feel like they’re on fire and his head spin.
He hates it.
He can feel TK’s eyes on him and knows he’s seconds away from jumping in and not letting Carlos make his own damn sandwich.
TK’s eyes haven’t left him since he woke up and on any normal day, at any normal time Carlos would find it annoying - it’s still irritating, just less annoying - but he knows why TK can’t stop looking at him. It’s why he refrains from saying anything because he knows how worried and scared TK had been when he had gone missing. He knows that TK is worried that if he looks away for just a moment, Carlos is going to disappear again.
Carlos isn’t going to, his body is too sore to venture further than the kitchen or bathroom - he definitely isn’t strong enough to take off down the street and crawl into holes anytime soon.
However, he is going to make his own sandwich and take care of himself.
He could do that and he doesn’t need TK to mother hen him.
“Carlos-”
Carlos snaps his head up and half-heartedly glares at TK. He’s sure the look doesn’t land how he wants it to.
“I can do this,” Carlos grits, ignoring the pain in his ribs from standing upright for so long.
“I know you can, but baby, you don’t have to,” TK says as he comes closer. He’s standing just across the island now and Carlos can see it on his face that he wants to reach out and grab the knife and do it for him.
It shouldn’t be as frustrating as it is.
Carlos closes his eyes and counts to ten, trying not to feel annoyed at his loving fiancé who just wants to help him.
“I can do it,” he grits through his teeth, shifting his weight to try and alleviate some of the pain that was coursing through his body.
He stares down at the sandwich, still ingredients that he was putting together. He’s barely finished putting mayo on the bread and hasn’t even been able to assemble the toppings on it and it’s been at least ten minutes. A sandwich shouldn’t take this long to make and it frustrates him.
He can’t cook. He can’t clean. He can’t do anything because it all hurts so badly to do. His body hurts , and so does his pride.
He sets the knife down so hopefully, TK can’t see how shakey his hands are getting. Carlos’ knees feel weak and a wave of tiredness comes over him all he wants to do is lay down and rest but he also needs to finish making this sandwich.
Carlos has an annoying need to show himself that he can take care of himself despite the injuries and wants to show TK that he can go back to work without worrying that Carlos is going to starve without him.
It’s a slow process of assembling the sandwich. Each movement causes his ribs to scream out in pain and has him wanting to give in and just let TK make him the damn sandwich.
But Carlos Reyes isn’t a quitter and he’s going to make it even if he passes out because he’s in so much pain.
Finally, after a time that Carlos does not want to admit, his sandwich is done. He cuts it in half and then stares at the couch longingly. He wonders if he can carry the plate over to the couch without dropping it and making a fool of himself.
Carlos glances at TK and he can see on his face that he wants to help, but Carlos is still too in his head that he has to do it himself to allow that.
He stands fully, steadying himself before he grabs his plate and slowly makes his way to the kitchen. His ribs are burning, body aching fully by the time he manages to make it to the couch. He might hurt more than he did before, but he sees making it to the couch without dropping his sandwich as a win for him.
Carlos adjusts his position on the couch and he hears TK sigh. He chances a glance at him and his heart clenches at the sad look on TK’s face.
Carlos knows that all TK wants to do is help but it’s hard for Carlos to let him - let anyone - do things for him. Carlos wasn’t the type of person to let people take care of him, he took care of others, and being on the other side was something that has always made him slightly uncomfortable.
He’s gone so long relying on himself, not having another that wanted to take care of him, that he isn’t sure how to let someone take on that role.
It was easier if he just did everything himself, even if he was in pain.
TK sighs again, “I’m going to take a shower.”
Carlos nods and stares at his sandwich, feeling like he’d done something wrong.
--
The next day, Carlos can barely get out of bed. His head is pounding, his body feels like a wall of bricks has fallen on him, and he’s pretty sure he can feel every crack and break in his ribs.
He hates it.
He stares up at the ceiling for a while, trying to will his body into not hurting so that he can get up and go about his day. Carlos doesn’t just want to sit around and do nothing, there’s too much to be done. It’s grocery day and he knows that he needs to go because they’re running low on a lot of things. He needs to clean the loft. He’s pretty sure there’s a 126 hangout planned for the weekend and a list of other things he needs to get done.
Carlos also needs to show TK that he can go back to work on Monday and not spend his time worrying about Carlos or feeling like he needs to take off any additional days. He wants TK to save those days for when he needs them and not use them up on him, it wasn’t worth it.
He tries to roll over onto his side so he can face TK, but that just makes him let out a pained noise and makes everything hurt worse so he just stays where he is, on his back and trying not to cry.
He could really go for ibuprofen right about now.
“Carlos?” He hears TK’s voice coming from beside him, it sounds a bit timid and laced fully with concern.
“I’m okay,” Carlos forces himself to answer back, squeezing his eyes shut as he tries to breathe through the pain.
TK sighs, “I wish you’d stop being so goddamn stubborn and let me help you.”
“I don’t-”
“Yeah, I know. You don’t need help,” TK snaps and Carlos cringes at the annoyance he hears in his voice. “You don’t need someone to lean on, to pick you up when you fall down. You can just do it all yourself, can’t you? You don’t need me.”
Carlos’ eyes snap open on TK’s last sentence, an uncomfortable weight of hurt settling on his chest as he realizes that TK thinks that. It’s fully untrue, Carlos does need TK.
“TK that’s not-”
“Isn’t it true? Since we got home you’ve fought against me helping you like it’s some sort of… weakness or something.” TK sits up and Carlos turns his head to look at him. “I’ve had to sit by and watch you do everything in pain - and don’t say that you’re not. I can see it on your face. I don’t understand why you don’t let me help. You don’t have to do everything on your own. We’re a team, aren’t we? Or does that only count when it’s me who needs the extra hand?”
Carlos stares at him for a moment, “That’s not even close to true.”
“Isn’t it? Because you always seem to refuse me to help you but are always more than willing to help everyone even if it means hurting yourself.”
TK shakes his head, letting out a sigh, “I’m going to take a shower.”
“TK-” Carlos starts, but TK is already rolling out of bed and heading to the bathroom.
Carlos sighs and rubs a hand over his face, stomach twisting as he thinks about TK’s words. It wasn’t that Carlos didn’t want TK to help him, it was just that he didn’t want to burden TK with needing it.
He could do things on his own, he never thought that was a bad thing. Sometimes people needed help and that was okay.
Carlos just wasn’t that kind of person.
He lets out another sigh, this one deeper, and the movement of his chest makes his ribs hurt - a reminder that he was still in pain and hasn’t taken a pain pill yet. Carlos lets out a frustrated sigh, bites his bottom lip, and pulls himself into a sitting position.
He is sure it’s the worst thing he’s ever done with the amount of pain that floods his body at the simple movement.
“Fuck,” he whimpers, closing his eyes tightly at the prickle of tears.
He hates this.
“You can do this,” Carlos mutters to himself, gritting his teeth and standing up…
…only to fall right back down onto the bed because he was in so much pain. He lets out a frustrated sound, the tears that were prickling at his eyes finally spilling out of his eyes.
Maybe he did need TK to help him.
He tries not to make too many pathetic noises as he gets back into the bed and curls up on his side and wraps his arms around himself. It’s not a position that brings any relief to the pain that’s throughout his body, but he needed to hold on to himself to try and find an ounce of comfort.
It’s the position that TK finds him in a little bit later when he’s done with his shower, tears wetting his face.
“Carlos?”
Carlos sniffles and wipes his face, whimpering a bit at the pain.
“Can you get me pain meds?” Carlos makes himself ask, his voice small. He hates this, hates needing help, and having to admit that he can’t do it all himself.
“Of course.”
It doesn’t take long before Carlos sees TK kneeling beside him with a couple of pain pills and a glass of water. Carlos takes the pills, tosses them into his mouth, and chases them down with the water.
He hands the glass back to TK and lays back down.
“Carlos? Are you okay?” TK asks, the frustration wasn’t in his voice anymore.
“It’s not that I don’t need you,” Carlos says, his voice still small. “I do . It scares me how much I need you. I’ve never needed or wanted to need someone as much as I feel like I need you. I don’t want you to have to worry about me when you’re at work… I just…”
TK reaches forward and runs his fingers through Carlos’ hair and Carlos melts into the touch.
“You can need me. Baby we’re partners , it’s okay for us to need each other.” TK says softly. “I’m here for you, always. I want to be here for you.”
“I know you do, and I want to accept that. It’s just hard.” Carlos wipes away a few more tears. “I’m used to doing it all on my own, I don’t know how to accept that I don’t have to.”
“You start by letting me in, letting me help you when you’re in pain,” TK leans forward and presses a soft kiss to Carlos’ lips. “Let me take care of you.”
Carlos looks at TK for a moment before he nods, “Okay.”