Chapter Text
“Where…where am I?” The night air had no response. The Audio Tour Guide had found itself on a wooden patio. There were stairs leading downward out onto a dirt path. It could not see where it went because the path was eventually swallowed by the woods that surrounded the patio. Turning around, the Guide had found that the patio was connected to a house. A house just as wooden as the patio.
“Hello?” It called out. Where was it? But also how was it here physically? Or at least it thinks it is here physically. Looking downward showed nothing, but it could definitely see itself. It was as if there were extra dust particles you see in the sunlight. Instead it was a cluster forming the vague shape of a human in the dim moonlight.
“Should I knock on the door?” It said out loud to no one. It was either that or trying to traverse the darkness. And it definitely didn’t want to do that when it is unsure of what could be out there. The Guide’s new physical form was also throwing it for a loop. It was like it was there but also not, a ghost. It reminded the Guide of a trap the museum had. Except it could see details that the trap wouldn’t even consider. The moths knocking on the patio light. The shadow Guide had. The way the door was clearly handmade with love.
“Well, here goes nothing.” Puffing its chest Guide knocked. For a moment all it could hear was crickets, creaking wood and rustling wind. The silence was broken by the sound of boots tapping on wood. A woman opened the door. Her mouth showed a smile, but her eyes were analyzing. She took in Guide's appearance, her eyes stopped analyzing and she nodded, it looked like she made a decision.
“My Dear, it appears we have a guest!” She called back into the house. “Come on in.” She said, stepping aside. It hesitated, but the warm light from inside was inviting versus the cool breeze from the woods. Guide stepped inside. The house looked just as cozy as the light made it think it was. It was lead towards a room with a coffee table and plush chairs in front of a fire. It found itself wandering around the room. Poking and prodding different things. Trying to become used to the sensation of texture. A framed photo of a pig and a young boy. The grain in a desk nearby. The papery feel of drawings of people hung on the wall. It found the lampshade’s cow hide pattern to be very interesting to feel. Then Guide heard a little laugh and realized what it was doing.
“I’m sorry, how rude of me, I am not used to, ” It gestured vaguely to itself. “being me I suppose.”
“It’s quite alright, no harm no foul.” She said waving a hand as if to dismiss what it did.
“Go ahead and sit down now.” She said while sitting down herself.
“I’ve…” It looked at the chair. “I’ve never tried that before.” The woman chuckled, but not in a rude way, in a welcoming way.
“Well trust me when I say that it is splendid.” She patted the cushioned chair next to her right. Guide sat down.
“It is lovely.” It agreed. She smiled as if to say “I told you so.”
“Sorry I am late to the party but I brought tea!” He cheered. He set down a platter, the porcelain teapots and cups on it rattled and clinked against each other.
“You like wood.” Guide noted, as the platter was also carved from wood.
“Well I do have an affinity for it.” The man smiled, sitting next to the woman’s left.
“Yes, us Mucklewains tend to pick up many trades.” She gasped suddenly, patting the man’s shoulder. “How rude of me!” She cleared her throat.
“My name is Effie Mucklewain and this here is my dear husband-”
“Zebulon Mucklewain.” The man finished.
“Oh, uh, well my name is The Audio Tour Guide, or I guess that’s my work title.” It fiddled with its hands, it felt strangely natural to do so. “Where exactly am I?”
“You’re at our home.” Effie said.
“And where is that?” Guide asked, head tilted to the side.
“Well Auddie, can I call you Auddie?” Guide nodded, too distracted to really think about that question. “I wish I could answer that for you, we seem to simply exist by God’s will here.”
“You said you have a job?” Effie asked. Another nod. “And what would that be?”
“I am an audio tour guide for a museum.”
“Well that must be simply delightful!” Effie exclaimed.
“All that rich history.” Zebulon agreed. He started to flip the teacups right side up. “You must be very smart to remember all of those facts.” Guide felt itself blue screen.
“I think you broke them dear.” Effie said.
“No, no, I am okay.” It fiddled with the hem of a shirt it didn’t realize it had before. “Thank you for the compliment.”
“You’re quite welcome.” There was an easy silence for a while. The sounds of tea pouring and spoons clinking. The creak of the chair as Guide leaned forward in fascination.
“I’ve always heard of tea.” It said “I’ve never gotten to see it like this though.”
“And why’s that Auddie?”
“Well,” it’s eyes scanned the room “kind of like how you guys are always here, I am always inside the audio tour guide’s system, it’s my own digital room.” It chuckled. “Not as nice as this one though.”
“Aw looks like we have a charmer on our hands.” Effie said teasingly.
“Any ideas on why you were brought here?” Zebulon asked while passing Guide a warm cup of tea.
“Not really,” it hummed, “last I remember was…” The man with the voice like honey and chocolate and coffee all at once “I’m not sure if I want to talk about it.” It turned the cup around in its hands. The memories of being stuck in the singular room with Officer Brookes’ corpse swirling around its head like the tea.
“Honestly I don’t know if I am physically able to drink this.” Guide said sheepishly.
“Well you can try anyways, we don’t mind cleaning up a spill.” Effie reassured, her voice soft. Guide looked skeptical but brought the cup up to where a pair of lips should be.
“Oh, oh this is heavenly .” Guide said gleefully. Most of the cup was already gone.
“Glad you think so.” Zebulon grinned.
“Oh don’t be so humble dear,” she leaned forward conspiratorially, “he’s the best tea brewer on this side of the Mississippi River.”
“Effie!” Zebulon said with a blush.
“It’s true!” She exclaimed. Guide started laughing.
“Now what’s so funny?” Zebulon asked.
“I’ve never met a married couple before, most of the museum's employees are married to their work.” Guide has its face in its teacup “I didn’t know married people were so much fun.” Now Effie and Zebulon were laughing as well.
“You’re quite funny as well Auddie.” Effie said.
“I like that.”
“Like what hon?” Effie asks.
“You calling me Auddie, my job title is long to say.” It explained.
“I am glad we could be helpful.” Zebulon said.
“Everyone deserves a name to call their own,” Effie flipped over her empty teacup “helps remind us we're human.” She picked up the teacup, her eyes scanning the saucer it had been on.
“What are you doing?” Guide asked.
“She is reading the tea leaves for premonitions.” Zebulon explained in a whisper. The tour guide stilled with Zebulon.
“Auddie dear,” Effie started, her voice like a warm quilt a mother could make from a sheep that you raised, “things will, they always will , get better.”
“And we’re always here if you need us!” Zebulon added.
“I am not even sure how I got here in the first place.”
“I am sure you will figure it out,” he winked, “you are smart like I said.”
“Us man made machinations stuck in unknowings ought to stick together.” Effie said with a smile.
“Thank you.” Guide said sincerely.
“Anytime,” she flipped over Guide’s teacup. “It seems like you oughta get going.” She said pointing to its leaves.
“There is reason to go back?” The Guide said confused.
“Oh you’ll be surprised by what the Lord provides.” Zebulon responded, ruffling Guide’s hair. Guide found itself shocked by the casual touch, its head burning. “Now get going.” Zebulon said, breaking Guide out of its trance.
The Guide was unsure how to leave, so it walked towards the front door, Effie and Zebulon trailing after him.
“See you soon.” Zebulon said, shaking The Guides hand. A warm burning sensation flooded through it. Guide pulled its hand to its chest and nodded. Guide faced the door, turning the knob. The door opened easily and The Guide just as easily fell through it. The wind whistled, the light of the Mucklewain’s home fading fast. Guide imagined that this is what skydiving must be like, it was exhilarating, no wonder why humans did it now. But unlike skydiving it had no parachute. It slammed back into its audio tour guide system. Guide gained its senses slowly, and realized it had found itself back in the Auxiliary Security Station. But now, with a renewed sense of hope. It was not a misguided hope, as Clockwork Mother was only a few rooms away. It would tell everything it saw to Mother, who would patiently listen.
It couldn’t wait until it could visit the Mucklewains again.