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Uru’s eyes flew open, a scream ripping through his throat as he bolted upright. His body was soaked in sweat and despite the warm Parisian air from the open balcony door, he shivered. He wrapped his arms around himself as his breath came out in shallow gasps, tears starting to flow down his cheeks.
It was the same dream as always, Chikara hovering over him. Grabbing him roughly and pulling his weak body out of his bed. Dragging him through the dark hall and into the dingy room he used for his experiments. He learned not to fight back a long time ago. Fighting back only made it worse. His nose and orbital bone had been broken before when he tried to get away, but one particularly bad time, Chikara had brandished a baseball bat, effectively breaking Uru’s jaw.
He had been lucky there wasn’t any permanent damage, not that it mattered though. With half a face he’d never live a normal life. Chikara had stolen everything from him. He’d taken half his organs and destroyed his mind. Even now, he had an irrational fear that the mad scientist would show up and steal him away.
Uru was finally happy in the life he had, having siblings that loved and cared for him, but yet he was haunted by a dead man that should no longer have any power over him. He had been the one to deliver the killing blow after all, Saito not willing to take that away from him.
Though at first, his older brother had wanted to end both So and Chikara, not wanting Uru and Iris to have to live with the fact that they had taken a life. He said that he was afraid that even if it wasn’t right away, the guilt would eventually get to them. That it would destroy them from the inside out.
And while that may be true for Iris, even with the darker side that both men had discovered, he couldn’t say the same for himself. Chikara had taken away every chance he had of living a normal life, of ever getting to grow up and have a nice family adopt him, of growing up period.
Uru had never killed before, so he knew to trust Saito’s word. But he also knew that if he wasn’t the one to destroy the man that had tortured him for nearly twenty five years, he would regret it. He couldn’t have someone else fight for him, he had to do it himself.
Even now, he wasn’t upset that he took a life. That he killed someone. Murdered someone. Chikara wasn’t innocent. He had tortured countless others all in the name of science. For no other reason that to sate his curiosity. He was a monster and deserved everything he got.
“Uru? Are you alright?” Saito asked from the doorway.
His scream must have been louder than he thought, if his older brother could hear it from his room down the hall. “I’ll be ok,” he answered softly.
“Come with me,” Saito said, walking back out of the room.
Uru stood up, his bare feet padding across the plush carpet of the penthouse apartment they currently called home. He followed his older brother down the hall and into the kitchen, taking a seat at the bar while Saito busied himself with setting out two mugs. He grabbed a small wooden bowl next along with a whisk and a tin of matcha powder.
He watched him quietly as he worked, making the tea with ease. The kitchen was large, much larger than the one they had in Mykonos, and Saito had taken full advantage of it. It had been one of the fun little facts Uru and Iris had discovered about their brother; the eldest Sejima enjoyed cooking and was quite good at it.
Iris was always more than happy to sample his creations while Uru was just thrilled to have anything that wasn’t instant, prepackaged food. Fresh vegetables were his absolute favorite. He often ate them raw, enjoying the flavor and crunch, his only experience before being the overly salted canned variety.
When it was his turn to choose the meals, usually once or twice a week, he had trouble picking anything out. He loved trying new things, because at this point almost anything was new. Iris had taken to giving him three or four options and telling him what the ingredients were, making it slightly easier for him to decide. Saito’s anger would boil just below the surface in those moments, his hatred for their father and Chikara evident.
Iris was prone to bouts of anger her own self, but she would somehow be the voice of reason in times that Saito wasn’t. She was able to bring her eldest brother back out of his murderous thoughts with a few words. And if that didn’t work, she would sing.
Not the catchy, dime a dozen, pop songs she used to sing. No, she would either sing quiet lullabies or gentle songs full of hope and love. When she wasn’t trying to sound breathy and like a young girl, her singing voice was quite nice and soothing. It was lower than Uru would have thought, but he found it beautiful.
How was it possible after so long being trapped in the dark, unwanted and forgotten, he had found two people he couldn’t live without? His brother and sister. Two pieces of his soul that if he lost them, he knew he wouldn’t be able to go on living.
The concept of family was something he had never even considered. Sure, he had read about it in the books that Tokiko would sneak to him, but he was never able to picture himself in those situations. Tokiko was the closest thing he had to family, for a while he had even considered her a mother.
Now though, after being away from her influence and mad teachings, he recognized it for what it was. Stockholm syndrome. Uru was smart, he had read up and studied so many things during his imprisonment, making him an expert in more than one field. But he had been too close to the situation and because of that, never recognized the symptoms within himself.
Saito had been the one to finally make him see. How deep the brainwashing had gone and how mindless he was when it came to the Naix Japan leader. He eventually stopped following the teachings, though he did keep in contact with the older woman. His feelings for her had changed, and how could they not? But he knew she was a valuable ally to keep in his pocket. She was financing their new lives after all, and made sure to keep those that may have been searching for his siblings at bay.
His brother still wanted to kill her and maybe one day he would let him, but it wouldn’t be now. Perhaps if he could get her to name him as her beneficiary then they could dispose of her, but at the moment, it was better to keep her at arms length and use her guilt against her. Because if there was one thing Uru had learned, it was she had an ample supply of that.
“Here, drink up,” Saito said, placing the steaming cup of tea in front of Uru.
He sat his own down and walked around the bar counter, taking the seat beside him.
“Thank you,” Uru muttered quietly, blowing on the liquid before taking a slow sip. It was good, perfectly smooth and just the right temperature.
“Was it the same dream?”
Uru nodded slightly, not making eye contact.
“You know, we could always take the room with the two full size beds. Maybe it would help knowing I’m in the same room as you.”
“No, that’s ok. I don’t want to put you out. And I don’t think it would help anyway. Once I’m asleep my mind wouldn’t know if you’re there or not.”
“Hmmm,” Saito said, contemplating his brother’s words. “What if we got you some sleeping pills then? Or something for anxiety? I’m sure Naix could get us in touch with an underground doctor.”
“No medicine. I don’t want something that is going to change my mind and how I think.”
“It wouldn’t be like Chikara.”
Uru shuddered at the name.
“Hey,” Saito whispered, placing a hand on his brother’s arm and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “He can’t hurt you. He’s gone and he’s not coming back. And no one else from Horadori is going to hurt you. I won’t let them. But you need help. More than Iris and I can give you.”
“But I don’t want to see a doctor. They…” Uru’s voice trembled.
“These doctors aren’t the same. They’re not going to cut you open. And I’ll be with you the entire time. But you need something. At the very least, something to help you sleep. But I really think you would benefit from some sort of anxiety medication or maybe an antidepressant. You’ve been put through so much abuse, it’s only natural that you would have lingering mental health trauma.”
“You’d go with me?”
“Of course I would. And you know Iris would too, if you want her to. We’re not leaving you. You’re our family.”
“I…”
“What are you two doing up?” Iris asked with a yawn, walking up behind her brothers. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a bun, more than half of it down and a bushy mess. She wore a large t-shirt, at least two sizes too big and a pair of baggy shorts. Looking nothing like the always put together internet idol she used to be; now she could pass for any other college freshman that just pulled an all-nighter.
“I had another nightmare,” Uru replied.
“There’s more tea in the pot if you’d like a cup,” Saito said, gesturing to the kettle on the stove.
“Thanks, but we need cake.”
“It’s three in the morning,” Saito stated with a raised brow.
“And?” Iris questioned as she opened the fridge and grabbed the plastic container with little more than half of a black forest cake in it. She took out three plates next and quickly cut the slices and handed them out to her brothers.
“Iris, these slices are huge, we really shouldn’t eat sugar like this in the middle of the night, it’s terrible for your metabolism,” Uru said as he looked at his own ridiculously large piece. In fact, he was pretty sure she had cut the biggest piece for him.
“One slice won’t hurt,” she said as she poured herself a cup of matcha and then took the empty seat on the other side of Uru.
“I mean no, but we still shouldn’t eat something this heavy and with so much sugar in the middle of the night.”
“It’s fine. And you could use a little serotonin boost.”
Uru didn’t argue any further, taking a bite of the cake and savoring the flavor against his tongue. It was good. Really good. Iris had gone shopping with him the day before, getting some groceries to have on hand for that night’s dinner.
He was ready to walk right past the bakery when she stopped him, pulling him back and over to the case that had a dozen different cakes on display ready to purchase. She had asked him to pick one for dessert and like most other times, he became overwhelmed immediately. Even after several months of freedom he still couldn’t make simple decisions. It was pathetic. He was pathetic.
But she never treated him like that. She was always patient and kind, never getting frustrated at his indecision. Instead she pointed out three different cakes and told him what each one was and what they tasted like. Out of those choices, he found that the black forest one sounded the best.
When they got home with their bags full of groceries, Saito seemed pleased, saying he liked that cake too. It made Uru feel a little better about making a decision, especially since it was one that both of his siblings were happy with.
Seeing them happy really was all that mattered.
“I, ummm, I think I would like to see a doctor. Maybe. B-but only if you’ll come with me.”
“A doctor?” Iris asked, mouth full of cake.
Saito nodded. “Yeah, I was saying before you came in that it wouldn’t be a bad idea. He’s still not sleeping well at night because of…”
“Chikara?” Iris spit the name with venom.
“Yeah.”
“I just want to get over this,” Uru began in a rush. “Be better so that you both don’t have to walk on eggshells around me all the time. I don’t want to bring you down constantly.”
“Wait what? Is that why you think I suggested going to the doctor? Because you’re killing our ‘vibe’?”
Uru shrugged and looked back at his cup of tea. The green color soothing as he swirled his spoon around the cup.
“Hey, Uru, look at me,” Saito said firmly.
Uru glanced over to the left, seeing Saito’s intense stare from his one eye. His brother didn’t seem happy. He’d probably messed up again without even realizing it.
“First things first. You’re not a burden. You never have been and never will be. And second, I wanted you to see a doctor for you. So that you can feel better. So that you don’t have to held prisoner in your own mind by a man that’s dead and has no power over you. You’re finally free, don’t let him take anymore from you than he already has.”
“It’s hard though.”
“Yeah, but that’s why you have us,” Iris said as she slid off of her stool and walked to stand next to Saito. “We’re always here to talk when you need us. And we’ll definitely go with you to the doctor to make sure you’re safe. We wouldn’t just leave you alone.”
“How am I actually supposed to talk to a doctor about what’s bothering me though? I mean really? I can’t just say I had my organs harvested for over twenty years by a mad scientist that I later murdered and now he haunts my dreams and I have PTSD. It’s the truth, but I’ll either get arrested or committed. Neither of which will help.”
“I’ll call Tokiko in a bit. I’m sure she has to have someone involved at Naix that’s a psychiatrist. If it’s someone she knows, even over the phone, they could help you and get you some medicine if you need it.”
“I don’t think you should be the one to call Tokiko,” Iris said with a smirk.
“And why not?”
“Because the last time we let you do it, you called her a ‘crazy eyed bitch with a hobbit fetish’.”
“So? Was I wrong?”
“No, but we can’t rock the boat too much. We need her to keep financing us and letting us use the Naix properties.”
Saito snorted. “Whatever, you call her then.”
Uru smiled as he watched the good natured back and forth between his brother and sister. As dumb as it sounded, he lived for moments like this. Something so insignificant as sitting at the breakfast bar in the early hours of the morning, eating cake and talking with his siblings. He never pictured good things in his life, was never able to even imagine a world where he could be happy and not in constant pain.
It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. They were fugitives on the run. Meaning they couldn’t stay anywhere for too long or risk getting caught. Uru was pretty sure that they still weren’t linked in any way to So and Chikara’s murders, but better to be safe than sorry.
And even though that wasn’t a worry, he knew there were several people back in Tokyo searching for Iris. Not to mention Saito might not be connected to this new series of murders, but he was still wanted for the Cyclops ones.
No, they would have to move again soon. They’d already stayed in Paris for close to four months, which had been the longest of anywhere. And while he loved it and wished they could live here forever, he knew that wasn’t possible.
But for the moment, he would enjoy his time with the two people that meant the most to him. His brother and sister. The family he never knew he had, but always wanted. Because here, in the light of the full moon with it’s silver rays casting shadows , he felt a peace he had never known before. He felt the unconditional love denied to him his entire life. Here, with his siblings by his side, he was home.