Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“ And when this is over, I’m gunna tell you every story I remember, about all the people that loved you.”

Even pressed into her Uncle Daryl’s side, the movement of the train felt unnatural. The speed alone was something she’d never felt before, and the bumps as the car moved along the track was so much different than that of a wagon or the stride of a horse. Judith had a million thoughts running through her head but she tried to focus, tried to zone in on the tst-tst tst-tst of the wheels against the steel. 

The majority of her family was on this train as they rode towards what might be the end for some of them — the ones who were still here anyway. Her family had been divided more times than she could count throughout her life. More times than she even knew about, probably. Walkers, other people, exploding bridges. Sometimes just…leaving. Sometimes just dying.

But the good thing about Judith’s family is that, unless someone was well and truly gone, they always made their way back to each other, and this time, she was allowed to help with that. Her Uncle Daryl knew she was capable. Knew she could be trusted to watch out for herself and the other members of the family. And she knew that her uncle would do anything to keep her safe, even if it meant losing the mission. And yet…

Sometimes it went bad. Sometimes people just didn’t—couldn’t—come back. All those people that loved her in her eleven years and all she had left of some of them were the stories other’s would tell her. Stories about the Brave Man, and Daito, and the Pizza Boy, and her big brother Carl. About her first mom, Lori, and her Aunt Maggie and cousin Herschel before they came home. About the first Herschel, and his farm, and Carol’s daughters—all of them—and the ones who saved her from the prison. 

Jude had heard stories about a lot of their family from those who remained. Almost everyone except—

“What about the Sunshine Lady?” she asked, thinking it was now or never as they rumbled down the tracks to the Commonwealth. She looked up at her Uncle Daryl who had a confused look on his face as if he was trying to think of who she was talking about. She turned her head towards her Aunt Maggie, who’s face had fallen. 

Judith had asked about the Sunshine Lady before. The first time had been a few years ago, during one of the first trips to Hilltop after her mom let them be a family again. Up until that point, Judith had thought that the Sunshine Lady was someone she’d made up in her head. But at Hilltop she found a picture of her painted on the wall. She asked her mom about her but Michonne had just smiled sadly and told her that she should talk to Maggie about her when she got back.

A year later, after the Rhee’s had returned and the Whisperers were defeated, Judith volunteered to help Maggie salvage some of Alexandria’s crops when the younger girl asked about the Sunshine Lady again. Maggie was just as confused as her Uncle Daryl was now, until Jude mentioned the painting that was in her old office at Hilltop. 

The young Grimes girl hadn’t seen her Aunt Maggie in quite some time, but she likes to think that she’s good at reading people’s body language. And when she asked about the Sunshine Lady, her Aunt Maggie got really sad. Maggie had looked around the courtyard at the time, and apparently didn’t like what she saw. Negan had been within eyesight, so maybe that was part of it. But she shook herself off and blinked away the beginnings of tears to tell the girl that they’d talk later. Judith didn’t want to push it, so she didn’t, but she was still waiting for that talk to happen. 

Sitting on this train with her family as they headed for battle with all kinds of uncertainties of the future, Judith didn’t miss that she finally had the perfect setting to learn about the mystery woman she’d once thought was imaginary:

First, plenty of time, hours, maybe, before they reached their destination;

Second, a confined space where they couldn’t walk away or brush her off;

Third, more than one family member who would know and could explain;

And finally, (which was kind of a dirty move, but she had asked nicely and gotten nowhere) Negan, who frequently taunted the members of her family when he realized that they were uncomfortable about something.

Seconds passed quietly as no one said anything. She looked around at the faces of her family trying to gauge who might be the first to crack. Her eyes briefly scanned over the blunt former enemy before landing back on her Aunt Maggie, who was now looking at her Uncle Daryl sadly. Unlike her straightforward gaze, his brow was still furrowed as he looked toward his shoes as if he was flashing through every moment of his life trying to land on who she meant.

“Beth.” 

Maggie’s voice had a slight break in it as she all but whispered the name which instantly had her uncle tense up beside her. Judith looked at his face curiously as seemingly forgot to breathe. Finally, he released the breath he’d been holding, all the while looking at Maggie uncertainty. Judith didn’t think she’d ever seen her uncle react this way.

Time stood still in the train car as a moment went by, two, then three, but she couldn’t do anything other than flit her eyes back and forth towards the two people silently staring at each other. In her mind all she could think was that the mystery woman with golden hair and a pretty voice finally had a name. Beth.

And of course, just as she’d (planned on, and) wanted him to, Negan inserted himself into the conversation. “Well…come’on now,” he drawled. “Who’s this Sunshine Lady?” He paused dramatically as he often did. “Beth?”

Both Daryl and Maggie instantly turned to glare at him, both with more hostility than usual, which was really saying something. And while Judith didn’t see it herself, from across the train car her Aunt Carol subtly shook her head at the barely-redempted-former-prisoner in warning. Negan’s face changed from smug, to curious, before landing on apprehensive as the entire car, also now wondering, as they waited for someone to speak. 

Maggie’s eyes flicked back to Daryl’s briefly before she decided that this wasn’t something she could brush off this time. She risked a glance over to Carol, who gave her a small smile of encouragement as the other members of their family looked on silently. Judith, now regretting her boldness that led to this awkwardness, was just about to ‘never mind’ the whole situation just as Maggie spoke softly, but loud enough for the whole car to hear.

“She was my sister,” she said sadly before continuing, looking directly at Judith as she did so. “She died when you were still a baby.”

Judith stayed silent as she let the words sink in. A baby? If that were the case, how could she remember? Even if it was more of a feeling of her. How ingrained does a memory have to be to remember something from  before you knew you could remember?  

She felt her uncle’s arm tighten around her, but she wasn’t sure if the side hug was more for her or for him. The young girl glanced at her guardian again, finding his eyes away from her, on his boots, before being directed towards another voice across the car.

“What happened?”  This was apparently now story time for everyone, as Kelly wanted to hear about the woman in Judith's vague, early memory. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Magna signing to Connie, making sure that she didn’t miss out on anything. Beside her, she felt Daryl suck in a deep breath that he swallowed and released shakily. She risked a glance at him again, and back at Maggie wondering what in the hell can of worms did she just open.

Chapter Text

It was Carol who came to start talking, finally. It seemed as though her Aunt Maggie and her Uncle Daryl weren’t currently capable of finding their voices, so it was up to the only other member of their family who knew what happened to tell them what happened.

“Beth was…” she smiled remembering, looking up at the ceiling, “sunshine. Just like you said.” She continued to smile as she turned to look at Judith, meeting her eyes. “She loved to sing, and had a way of making things seem better than they were. She took care of you, after Lori died.” She stopped for a moment and Judith nodded, knowing of what happened to her first mother. “And she loved you so much.”

Across the car Maggie threw her head back to stop the wetness in her eyes from falling as she tried to ignore the feeling of Negan’s keeping his eyes on her. Meanwhile Daryl tried his hardest not to show how much he didn’t want to talk about this right now. This was something to work up to. To prepare for. Not a thing to have a spontaneous conversation about in a train car, historically a bad place for them , while on their way to, well, kill some people. He felt himself start to twitch and for the first time in years, wished for a cigarette.

Carol had paused to think of how to phrase what she wanted to say next, wanting to tell Judith the truth but also wanting to spare her best friend, whose eyes hadn’t lifted off the floor since the blonde’s name was spoken. It had been years since she’d seen him shut down like this, not since Rick died, and even then it wasn’t this. She supposed it’d been years since anyone had brought up Beth so blatantly around him. 

“She died trying to protect someone from a bad guy. She’d been taken...”

Judith was jostled then, as her Uncle Daryl swiftly sat up and was out of the train car they were riding in before she could even blink. They all froze for a moment as the door to the connecting car slammed shut, before Maggie made to get up and follow him out. But Connie waved her off as she got up and headed after him, the sliding of the door open and shut again a sign that while he’d stormed off, at least he didn’t lock them out. 

If the people in the train car weren’t all that interested in hearing about Beth Greene before, they definitely were now.

Carol turned away from where the pair had disappeared and studied Maggie’s face, asking for permission to continue, knowing that she could be a little more honest about this touchy subject with their exit. As for Judith, she was mentally kicking herself for even bringing this up. She had wanted to know about the Sunshine Lady, but had no idea of the reactions it would cause her family. She wished that she hadn’t said anything, but it was too late. This wasn’t entirely about her now.

“After the prison,” Carol continued, “you remember the prison?” Judith nodded, not remembering exactly, but knowing the stories. About how it fell and the Governor who took it from them. It was her first real home, they’d told her. The place she’d been born. “After it fell, we were all split up. I was on my own, your dad was with your brother Carl, Maggie,” the older woman nodded towards her as she said her name, “was with Sasha and Bob. I don’t know if you remember them…”

At this point Negan bowed his head in shame as she said the names he recognized and regretted. In turn, Maggie now focused on him as the other members in the car tuned in to hear parts of a story they apparently hadn’t heard in its entirety. Ezekiel, for one, had been a part of this family for quite some time and had never heard of Beth before. Rosita knew the name, the fallout, but nothing else really. This girl was someone that the original family had purposely avoided talking about. And now, with the help of Daryl’s quick exit, they were very interested to know why .

Judith let out a quiet, “Kinda?” as Carol smiled sadly, knowingly, at her before continuing. Their stories were for another day.

“Glenn was with Tara before meeting Rositia, Eugene, and Abraham.” She paused again, eyes flickering to Negan with hostility before correcting herself. He at least had the decency to look ashamed. “Your mom eventually met up with your dad and Carl, and Tyresse, Mika and Lizzie got you out.” She swallowed quickly and pushed on, knowing that this was Judith’s time, not hers to think about the children lost to her. “And eventually I found them.”

She paused before relaying the only people left, knowing that it may lead to questions that she couldn’t answer. “Beth got out with Daryl.”

The words struck Judith as odd, and her brow furrowed as she tried to remember if anyone had ever mentioned her Uncle Daryl leaving the prison with anyone. Now that she thought about it, anytime she’d been told about their family escaping their former home, Daryl always just found us on the road, at just the right time too.

No one had ever said that he’d gotten out with anybody. Definitely not Maggie’s sister.

Carol had already decided to move on with the story while Judith pondered, apparently, because the young girl was shaken from her thoughts as the older woman began speaking again. “I’m not really sure what happened…” Judith watched as Carol looked to Maggie for guidance before the younger woman shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. Apparently whatever question Carol was asking, Maggie didn’t know the answer either. “We were all separated for a few months. Circling around, trying to find our way back to each other. Most of us ended up at this place called Terminus.”

From across the room Rosita groaned from the memory. When eyes flocked to her, she just said “Cannibals,” with disgust, as the others nodded with understanding.

“Wait, really?” Magna asked. When she was met with silence from the other people in the car, she let out an “ew,” before settling back in for the rest of the story.

Carol went on. “Beth got taken before we made it to Terminus. Daryl told me later,” she sighed, “that it was a black car with a white cross.”

Judith mind skipped around, having a hard time reconciling the information she already knew with the information she was being given. She’d heard about losing the prison, about the first Herschel being decapitated. About Terminus and their grotesque way of living. She knew about Negan bashing in Glenn and Abraham’s heads, about the war. All of that, terrible, horrible family history. But to leave out a whole person?

What was so bad about this woman who apparently loved her, that they’d left her out of the stories completely?

She stopped musing to realize that the car was silent again, and looked up to see her Aunts staring at each other. Trying to have a conversation without speaking out loud. Adults loved doing that, she’d noticed. Maggie eventually turned her head away to accidentally look straight at Negan, who was already looking back at her. Judith couldn’t bother to focus on that now, and turned away as Carol started speaking again.

“After Terminus, we weren’t sure what to do. Most of the group wanted to move, go on to Washington. We found Gabriel, found his church. I was out on the road with Daryl, arguing, about to run off on my own when we saw it.” She paused and looked at Ezekiel. In all the time they’d been together she’d never told him this part of their story. None of them talked about it. “A black car with a white cross.”

Maggie sucked in a breath but Carol went on. “We went after it, just us. Followed it back to Atlanta.”

Atlanta? Judith thought. She knew her family had been there in the beginning, at the CDC trying to find a cure. They were there twice?

“There was…a lot. We met Noah, who said he knew where Beth was. I got hit by a car and kidnapped.” Wait, what? “Daryl and Noah went back to the rest of the group, so they could come after us, me and Beth.” She halted, thinking of what to say. “The group split. Some of them,” she said looking back at Judith, “your dad and Daryl, Tyreese and Sasha, and Noah, they came to get us. Your mom stayed with you and Carl at the church.” She breathed out. “The rest headed towards Washington.”

The words settled over the group as Judith tried to make sense of everything, of who was where, and when. And she realized just as Maggie spoke, why they probably never mentioned her. Beth.

“I didn’t go.” All eyes fell on her as she spoke her truth to the ground, neck bent and hair covering her face. “I didn’t believe…” She struggled to get through, trying not to break down over this confession, her biggest shame. “I couldn’t believe that Beth was still alive. I thought that…” She swallowed. “I thought that they’d get there and Beth would be long dead.” Her eyes filled as she admitted something she’d never said out loud. 

“I didn’t even think she’d gotten out of the prison until Daryl said he’d been with her.” She sobbed as tears fell rolled down her face. “I didn’t even try to save her. Not…neither time. I just decided that she had to have been gone, like my daddy was.” She wiped at the wetness on her face as she tried to regain herself, as Negan looked at her with understanding she didn’t want. 

Judith found that she also had tears in her eyes before swiping her sleeve across them to get rid of the moisture. She hated to see her family in pain. They don’t talk about her because they can’t.

The room was silent as they waited to see which of the women would continue, as Maggie took deep breaths and Carol wiped away her own tears that had fallen. They were all so enthralled in the admission, to hear the rest, that they didn’t notice his return.

Daryl cleared his throat in a way that Judith knew he was trying hard, let the group know that he was back, and possibly had been for awhile. Listening quietly, observing in that invisible way of his. “Exchange went bad,” he said roughly, as he chewed on his lip. Connie gripped his hand as she stood beside him in the doorway of the train car supporting him. He looked at no one in particular as he spoke. 

No one bothered to sign for Connie. Kelly and Magna knew that he’d probably already told her, or that he would on his own later.

“We had her back. She was right…” he stopped trying to hold in the emotions while spitting out the words. “She was right in front of me when that bitch shot her in the head.” He shook, struggling. “Beth,” he exhaled her name as if he’d forgotten how to say it. “wanted to save Noah, save everyone in that place from what it was. And she would’ve.”

Maggie was trying and failing to cry silently, as nearly everyone around tried to hold it together. Maybe they hadn’t been there for this moment, but they all knew what it was like to lose someone. Someone who was right there before they weren’t anymore.

Judith gave her uncle a small smile despite the tears collecting around her eyes, knowing that if he was showing this much emotion, he was holding back so much more. They were all quiet, letting the finality of how Beth died settle in, surprised when Daryl spoke again.

“You wanna know about the Sunshine Lady?” He asked, looking right at Judith as she nodded. He took her confirmation and bent his own head, scrubbing a hand at his face. “We get through this, get home?” His voice grew stronger, sounding much more like the man she knew. 

“I’m going to tell you about how she lived.”

Chapter Text

Judith considered herself to be a fairly observant person. The quality was something that she’d picked up from the adults in her life, mainly her Uncle Daryl. Though she wasn’t entirely convinced that he came by it honestly. She was pretty damn sure that the reason he kept his hair so long was to hide the extra eyes and ears that were popping out of the back of his head. There was no way that the way he knew and saw and heard everything , was natural. He either had extra, hidden facial extremities or was part dog or something. Which would also explain the hair…

There was a chance that she was still a little loopy from blood loss and whatever medicine Dr Tomi had given her. And it probably wasn’t helped by the small (gross) sip of wine she took while all the overs were celebrating their victory. Their safety. Their home. Our home. 

But despite the expressions of freedom and joy pouring out of her family, she couldn’t help but feel like something was horribly wrong with the way Rosita and Father Gabriel whispered quietly to each other at the end of the table. She guessed that she knew what was happening - what was about to happen. 

But the optimist in her really hoped she was wrong. They’d just gotten so much back. She didn’t want to lose someone else.

Judith was one of the last to say her goodbyes to her Aunt Rosita. The childish part of her hoped that the longer it took for everyone to say goodbye, the longer it would take to happen. But she knew better. Her entire life existed within this dangerous world, and death was a major part of it. This wasn’t her first go-around with losing someone to a bite, but she really hoped it would be the last.

The young girl walked into the quiet bedroom, Ezekiel turning in the chair he sat in next to the bed. He gave her a small smile and reached over to squeeze Rosita’s hand one last time before he stood and left the room, giving Judith a small pinch on her arm as he passed.

Judith stood still near the doorway, not wanting to take that first step towards the woman laying in the bed. She could tell from where she was that her aunt had already lost most of her golden complexion in the few hours since dinner ended. And to be honest, this was the first time she’d been let to say goodbye to someone on her own. She’d always had another adult with her the other times - those times when they’d been able to say goodbye. There were too many times when they’d been too late as well.

Rosita shifted on the bed, trying, and just barely succeeding, to sit up a bit more. She gave the biggest smile she could and gestured for the young girl to join her near the bed. Judith slowly walked over and sat carefully in the chair Ezekiel had just vacated, not quite looking at the floor but also not looking her aunt in the eye. She wanted to stay strong, but she knew that once she really looked at one of the women who raised her, she’d break.

“Jude.”

It was all it took for her to look up and see Rosita's hand reaching out to her, as her eyes wet with tears and her lips started to tremble. Judith rose from her seat and kicked off her shoes, crawling into the bed and resting her head on Rosita’s stomach the way she used to when Coco was still in there. She kind of remembered that she’d done the same thing when her mom was pregnant with RJ, but with Rosita it was fresher in her mind. Growing up being surrounded by death, she was fascinated with life, and her aunt never seemed to mind when she wanted to listen for the sounds of the baby moving within her.

Now though, as Rosita’s hand came down to stroke Judith’s hair, she heard nothing. Not even regular stomach sounds. Maybe that was something that happened when…

Judith sniffled and squeezed her aunt a little tighter, still not wanting to think of what was to come. With Rosita using what energy she had to run her fingers through her hair, and all the events from the past few days, it was easy to doze off.

She didn’t know how much time had passed but she awoke to Aaron softly shaking her shoulder, but guessed it had been an hour at least. The room was a tad bit darker as if the sun had set some, and she felt rested. She looked at him before looking at her aunt, noticing that her eyes were closed. Judith panicked before noticing the slight rise and fall of the woman’s chest.

They’d simply fallen asleep and taken a nap. Not the first time they’d done this but it would be the last.

She frowned and sat up, trying not to move too much and wake Rosita up. She needed her rest to gain as much energy as she could before…

It was inevitable, she knew, but she still didn’t want to dwell on it if she didn’t have to. Not yet. So she slowly moved off the bed and slipped on her shoes, wanting to get out of Aaron’s way so that he had his chance to say goodbye to her aunt as well. But as she went to move past him, he motioned for her to sit back down as he took the chair. Judith settled back down on the edge of the bed and looked at Gracie’s dad.

He smiled softly at her before speaking quietly. “Did you know that the first conversation I had with Rosita, she threatened me about hurting you?”

Judith’s eyes went wide as she took in the admission. “She did?” The young girl knew that her family had come across Aaron and Alexandria when she was still just a baby. But she couldn’t ever imagine Aaron doing anything to hurt her. He never hesitated when it came to protecting their family but he was one of the most kind and good-hearted people she knew. Her Aunt Rosita on the other hand was much more the shoot first and ask later type.

Aaron smiled and huffed out a small laugh. “Oh yeah.” His grin grew as the memory flipped through his mind. “We were on our way to Alexandria, packing up and heading out from the barn you all stayed in during the storm. You were about 8, maybe 9 months old.” He smiled again, a gentle one. “I didn’t think I’d ever see a baby again. I was so excited for you all to meet Eric. We had always wanted to have kids.”

Judith kept her eyes on her uncle while he spoke though he kept his eyes on the window. Not quite looking out, but staring all the same towards the fading light. And even when she thought he’d be sad, talking about Eric, he kept smiling, at least a little. She was surprised. Usually when Aaron talked about his husband he...didn’t do so well. But this time it seemed different. He was lost in the memories and she stayed silent to keep him in.

“I couldn’t stop looking at you.” He lifted his eyes to hers then and she could see love there. “Carl was holding you most of the time. Your parents were arguing,” he laughed, “I’m not sure if you remember but there were a lot of times they didn’t agree on things. Trusting me being one of them.”

She grinned then too, for a moment forgetting where they were and why he was telling her this in the first place. She did remember her parents disagreeing a lot when she was younger. When they were both still around. Nothing specific, these arguments. Nothing truly hostile, just…two people who were both used to being right.

“They kept me within eyesight, but away from everyone else. Not wanting me to hear things, I’m sure, but not wanting me to be able to run and warn whoever I had hiding in the forest.” He chuckled at the implication. As if. “She,” he said pointedly, “snuck up behind me. Scared me, she was so damn quiet. Even back then she could’ve rivaled Daryl’s creeping.” They both smiled at each other knowing that while Daryl moved through the woods without making a single sound, Rosita was a very close second.

His smile faltered, but it held. “We were all so much younger then. When I first saw her I thought she was playing dress-up.” For the first time since he walked in the room he frowned. “She and Maggie were the youngest other than you and Carl.” His lips twitched and he turned his gaze back towards the window and the ever-fading daylight. “She looked like something out of a video game. The tough, badass, post-apocalyptic soldier. A fighter.” He stopped to look over at the figure on the bed. “And she was.” 

He paused again to gather his thoughts before continuing. “Living in Alexandria back then, we were so naive to what was happening elsewhere. Sure, we knew about the dead, lost some people. But we were kept from the worst of it in the beginning. Not like the rest of you.” He sighed and looked towards the bed. “She was a lot older than she looked when we first met. That first year after the end aged her more than any of her ones before. I shouldn’t have second-guessed what I saw when I looked at her.”

Aaron fell silent then, watching darkness creep in through the window. She let a few moments pass before interrupting his thoughts, and spoke for the first time since he’d started his story. “What’d she say?”

He turned away from the window again and smiled at her softly but before he could speak another voice inserted itself into the conversation causing both their heads to turn to the figure laying on the bed.

“I said,” she started, voice not quite the same as always but still strong. “‘If you do anything to put her in harm’s way, you won’t even have enough time to think of a way to save yourself before I get to you.’” Rosita breathed heavily, a sign of her failing health, but still managed to smirk. “And I meant it.”

Two days later Judith stood with the rest of her family as they took turns laying flowers across the mound of dirt that now covered Rosita’s body. She wasn’t sure which aunt or uncle had been the one to help Rosita…end. And make sure she wouldn’t rise again. 

It happened late last night, long after she’d been hurried off to bed to toss and turn before falling into a sleep full of scattered dreams.

She’d come down for breakfast that morning and was met with the resigned faces of Maggie and Daryl, and she knew it was over. Judith sat at the counter as her aunt fluttered around the kitchen trying to make breakfast for everyone. Her uncle sat at the table with the boys trying to raise their spirits. They all picked at their plates as they thought of the funeral they’d be attending later on in the day.

Now, at the gravesite, she listened as Gabriel finished his sermon with his daughter in his arms. Nearly everyone had offered to hold her but he insisted – wanted to keep her close. Judith watched as she squirmed and turned her head in every direction, starting to fuss and whine. Likely looking for her mother in the crowd.

Judith fidgeted as well, uncomfortable with yet another funeral and hesitant to deal with her own grief. She tried to make as little movement as possible as tears collected in her eyes. Judith, at least, could hope that one day she’d see her mother again. Coco was going to grow up without that luxury.

Soon the members of her extended family began to drift away, back to the daily tasks that would keep their communities afloat. Yet the young girl stood still, unable to move away and go on with her day after something, someone so monumental in her life was just buried. She wasn’t sure how long she was frozen in place next to the mound of dirt before Judith sensed someone standing next to her. She didn’t have to look up to know who it was. 

Her Uncle Aaron always held a solid, undemanding presence; an effortless kind of calm. 

They stood side-by-side, silent, until Judith turned away from the sight before her to look up at her uncle. ”What now?” she asked. The war was won, her family safe, enemies (both living and dead) were far away. There were no battles to prepare for, no fires to put out, and no more bodies to be buried. Sure, they needed to rebuild Alexandria, and Hilltop if possible, and reshape the Commonwealth into something good. But both of them knew that that wasn’t what she meant with that question. 

We’ve all got jobs to do, her aunt Maggie would say, but she wasn’t sure how . Not when so many things in the world, so many things about herself, had changed.

“Rosita,” Aaron started, breaking his silence, “was one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. From the moment I met her I knew that she was a force to be reckoned with.” He grinned at the memory of their first encounter for the second time in as many days. “She loved fiercely and defended recklessly, and she helped build this place into something that would be safe for you and Coco.” He wavered slightly to catch a breath. “She fought for this family, fought to the end. And she’d expect us to do the same.”

Judith absorbed his words and looked out past the graveyard into the heart of Alexandria where members of the community were mending the fences and scavenging in the gardens. “So we fight?”

“Yes,” he nodded at her. “We fight for each other, for our future, for humanity. And we don’t give up, no matter what comes at us.”

The young girl nodded, understanding. “Make sure we have something worth dying for,” she said mostly to herself.

Aaron smiles remembering the words he’d heard from Rosita more than once over the years. “Exactly.” He gestures over towards the steps of the house she grew up in where RJ was sweeping away debris. “Want to help clean up the houses or replant the gardens?”

She glanced between the two before settling her eyes even further across the courtyard where her Uncle Daryl and Ezekiel were loading up some wagons to take back to the Commonwealth. She knew that Ezekiel planned on being a part of getting the community back on its feet, and it appeared as if he’d be taking off soon with Mercer, Princess, and a few others. Watching them pack food and supplies into the buggy she got an idea.

“How about I go with the convoy back to the Commonwealth?”

Aaron smirked again, realizing again that Judith was no longer a child who they could keep from jumping in on the more “grown-up” tasks. “Just let Daryl know, I think he’s going too.” If he wasn’t before, he probably would be once Judy volunteered.

She gave him a wide smile before bounding off towards the wagons. Aaron smiled at her before raking his eyes over the rest of the community, seeing his daughter laugh and dance around the garden beds with Maggie as they worked to rebuild their home. He turned his head as Gabriel handed Coco over to Eugene, the men exchanging words of comfort and care. Finally, he looked back toward the fresh grave where his friend would rest permanently.

“We’re going to be ok,” he told her in a for-now goodbye. “And I mean it.”

Chapter Text

They’re nearing harvest season when Aunt Maggie mentions it. 

Most of the members of the Hilltop have been working dawn until dusk in preparation. Tending to the crops, resterilizing the jars they’d opened this year so they could use them again this year. The kids are not exempt from helping either. Even Jerry and Nadia’s youngest is toddling on unsteady feet back and forth from his mother and a pile of reeds lying nearby, fetching her supplies as she weaves a new basket.

Judith sits on the steps in front of her house with Gracie peeling potatoes for dinner. It’s not a job directly related to the upcoming harvest, but one that they’ve been delegated considering that all the adults are working on other things. 

Judith doesn’t mind and sometimes prefers doing mindless work like this. If she had time to sit and peel potatoes it meant that there was nothing more important to do. It meant that for the moment, everyone she cared about was safe.

She’s halfway through her eighth spud when she hears her brother’s peal of laughter. She looks up from her work to see him and her cousin Hershel playing with Dog. Something pangs in her chest even as she feels her lips lift in a small smile at the scene. She’s glad RJ got to keep most of his childhood, even through the worst of the battles they fought, and the losses they’d endured. She wished her mom was here to see this, and the brave man, and Carl. 

She mourns them in a way she doesn’t think her baby brother’s learned to do yet. Could blame it on having grown up in this world, she guesses, but that’s true for both of them. Could be his age; they tried to shelter her when she was young too, before she insisted on doing her part. 

Most days she’s still surprised that Uncle Daryl let her come along for the battle at the Commonwealth. She likes to think her mom would’ve made the same choice…after a whole lot more convincing.

“You look so much like your mama sometimes, it’s scary.” Judith jumps and nearly slices her hand before dropping the peeler as her Aunt Maggie walks up beside her to lean against the stair post. “Lori,” she clarifies, as the young girl’s eyebrows raise in surprise. No one’s talked about the woman who birthed her in quite some time, but that could be because most of the people who knew her are gone. “She used to get that same look on her face when she was thinking too hard about something.”

Judith blinks, a hundred thoughts flowing through her mind and she isn’t able to grasp onto just one of them to ask. She looks at her aunt half hopeless, half hoping. The pretty brunette woman smiles kindly at her, realizing the struggle she’s facing. “She had long brown hair, like yours, curled just a bit to keep it from falling straight. She had bangs,” Maggie recalled, smiling. “One of those rare people that could pull them off and not look ridiculous.”

The young girl fought back a grin at the memory of Gracie cutting her’s once to get them out of her way, only for them to continuously get in her eyes until they grew out again. Uncle Aaron had not been happy about it either.

Maggie gave her a moment to speak up and ask a question, but continued on when she didn’t. “She was real thin, even when she was pregnant with you. We were always worrying that she wasn’t getting enough to eat but she never complained.” Maggie gave a softer, sadder smile this time as she stepped off the post to come and sit next to the girl on the stairs, picking up the dropped peeler to hand back to the girl. “I remember the day she found out about you. She was so scared, we all were.” Judith looked down at the potato in her hands before taking the outstretched tool. She knew that she shouldn’t feel guilty about being born, or causing any kind of worry. But just because she knew better doesn’t mean she could just shake it off easily. “But as soon as she decided that you were worth all of it, she was all in. I never understood how a person could love someone they didn’t know like that, not until Herschel,” she said, turning her head to gaze at her own son. Her aunt faced her again with a small smile on her face. “You and Carl both look so much like her.”

Judith fought to keep her eyes dry at the mention of her older brother. She still had a few flashes of memory of him, but she’d started to lose his face and his voice awhile ago. She’d never forget the love she felt from him though. “Will you tell me about him too, sometime? It’s…I don’t remember that much anymore.”

Maggie noticed her struggle and lifted both sides of her mouth at her. “Of course, sweetie. Anytime you want.”