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Chapter Text

Mike was acting weird. If Will was completely honest, Mike always acted a bit weird, but lately he'd been acting weirder than usual.

He would suddenly drop his head in his hands with a groan and when Will asked him what was wrong, he would jump like he'd forgotten Will was there and cover his mouth and nose before saying it was nothing and running off to the bathroom for a moment.

Will knew Mike and Max had grown close while he was in California so he decided to ask her about it.

She had woken up from her coma a couple of months ago and she had been living with Lucas ever since she'd gotten discharged

She was currently in a wheelchair but the doctors thought she'd be able to regain close to all mobility with physical therapy. They didn't think she'd ever see again.

"So." Will began slowly.

"Hm?"

"Mike's acting weird."

"Mike always acts weird." She supplied helpfully.

"Yeah but, weirder than normal. You haven't noticed?"

"No, no I have. He's really jumpy and he zones out all the time, more than before."

"Hm. Has he like talked to you or something?"

"No. He hasnt really talked to me much since i woke up. not about anything important at least."

"Yeah, me neither."

"Do you think he's just worried about Vecna?"

"No, he's not acting scared just weird." Will frowned. "Oh my god, you don't think he's cursed, do you?"

"Shit."

"He would've said something, right?"

Max just frowned.

"Right, Max?" He said, a little more forcefully.

"Maybe we should make a plan, just to check. Is he active, can you feel him?"

"I can feel him, he's not active right now. He is getting stronger though. God, do you really think Mike's cursed?"

"We can't take any chances."

"Why wouldn't he tell someone though?"

"Just call him and tell him to come over. I have a plan."

Will could tell Max knew something he didn't but she wasn't letting up so he decided to let it go. For the time being. Once they'd confirmed that Mike wasn't cursed and wasn't going to die, he would ask her.

---

When Mike got to Lucas' house he was acting surprisingly cheerful, Will couldn't really remember the last time he'd seen Mike so upbeat. The first twenty minutes of the hangout passed and nothing happened. In fact, Mike was acting extremely normal. Will began to relax a little, there was no way he was cursed, right?

Wrong.

After around half an hour, Mike jumped up from his seat, slapping his hand over the lower half of his face.

"I'll be right back." He murmured.

Will stood up too, his guard back up instantly, and took Mike's free arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Just to the bathroo-" Mike suddenly cut himself off with a cry of pain, dropping to his knees.

"Mike! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine- ah!" He cried out again, bringing the hand that wasn't covering his face up to grip at his hair, pulling on it so hard that Will was afraid he might rip it out.

Will kneeled down in front of him. "Mike what's wrong?"

He attempted to pry Mike's hand from his hair but Mike just tightened his grip.

"N- nothing's wrong." Mike managed through gritted teeth, clearly in a great deal of pain.

That's when a drop of blood slipped through Mike's fingers and dripped onto the floor between the two boys.

Mike's eyes were squeezed shut so he didn't see it, but Will did.

"Mike... you're bleeding."

Mike's eyes snapped open. "What?" He croaked.

Will pointed at the floor where a few more drops had joined the first one.

"F- fuck.'

"Mike, I'm going to need you to be completely honest with me right now." Will said, carefully but firm.

Mike looked up at Will with teary eyes.

"Is your nose bleeding?"

Mike hesitated, then nodded slowly.

"Show me."

Mike removed his hand to reveal his nose, which was letting out a steady stream of blood that had been smudged by Mike's hand and was tinting his lips red.

Will got up and when he kneeled back down, he was holding a wad of paper towels.

Mike took them, offering Will a grateful smile but still not saying a word.

"Does your head hurt?"

Mike nodded again.

"Have you been having nightmares?"

Another nod.

"How long has this been going on?"

Mike hesitated again. "Five days."

Will heard Max inhale sharply.

"Shit, Mike. Have you been having visions? Are you- are you cursed?"

"I think so."

"How long have you known you were cursed?" Will could feel the panic begin to seep in.

"For a while."

"Are you insane? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Will stood up, his hands shaking. Mike just shrugged.

"What's your favourite song?"

Mike shrugged again.

"What you don't know? Do you not have one?"

Mike looked away. "Look Will, this doesn't have to be a big deal, just let me go home, okay?"

"Go home?" Will tried not to show it too much but he was beginning to border histeria. "Go home and what? Let Vecna take you?"

"Will-" Max tried.

But that was when the last puzzle piece fell into place.

"Oh." Will stumbled backwards slightly. "Oh my god, you want it. You want Vecna to take you."

When Mike didn't deny it, Will felt tears welling up in his eyes.

"Mike" Will said, softening his tone as he was clearly freaking Mike out. "Please just tell me your favourite song and we can talk about this when you're safe, okay?"

Mike swallowed. "I like Kate Bush, any song."

"That's bull." Max declared. "He hates Kate Bush."

"N- no I don't!"

"He likes uh, smalltown- smalltown kid?"

"Smalltown Boy?"

"Yes! Smalltown Boy by-"

"Bronski Beat, yeah."

"I don't!"

"Call Lucas to make sure Mike doesn't leave." Will made his way to the door. "I'm going to get the cassette."

---

When Will got back, Mike was sitting on the floor still, vacant expression on his face. Lucas and Max were talking in hushed voices.

Will sat down next to Mike, sure maybe his initial reaction hadn't been the best but he'd realised Mike was probably feeling bad enough already without Will adding to his guilt.

"Hey." Wil nudged Mike's shoulder with his own.

Mike made a hum of acknowledgement.

"You okay?"

Mike didn't answer for a moment.

"I never meant for any of you to find out, you know?" He said finally.

"What?"

"That I want to die." He clarified. "You weren't meant to find out. I was going to let Vecna kill me and I made you all letters. Goodbye letters."

"Jesus." Will leaned against the wall behind him.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's not your fault." Will assured him. "I just- just, why?"

"Why?"

"Yeah."

Mike laughed softly to himself. "Hell if I remember. I haven't wanted to be alive for years. I can't really remember how it started."

"Years? How long?"

"Since I was nine, I think. It wasn't that bad back then though. I guess that's when I realised suicide was an option. I used to like fantasise about killing myself after bad fights with my parents."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck." Mike laughed humourlessly. "It became more of a recurring thought when I was around twelve and now it's just constant. It's never not on my mind."

"You could've come to us for help."

"No. I couldn't have. I mean, no offense, but I think there's something seriously wrong with me, like fucked in the head. There was nothing any of you could've done."

"We could've helped you get professional help-"

"No. I'm not going to therapy, you know I hate therapists Will."

Will sighed, knowing Mike wouldn't give in.

"Put this on, please." Will handed Mike the walkman, loaded with Mike's favourite song.

Mike sighed but took it.

"You do realise the music's not gonna do anything, right? It's not gonna save me."

"Why not? It saved Max. And Victor."

"Yeah, but Max said a rift opened in the mindscape and she ran to it."

"Yeah."

"So I would actively have to run towards my own salvation-"

"Which you won't" Will finished for him.

"Sorry. Please don't blame yourselves, you did what you could." He said, deeming the conversation over.

Mike put on the headphones and hit play.

Will got up to tap Lucas' shoulder. "Call El. Tell her to get here as fast as possible. We can still save Mike."

Then he sat back down, taking Mike's hand in his.

---

El had gotten to Lucas' house ten minutes ago and the whole time Will and Mike stayed holding hands. No one said anything about it.

Until someone did.

"Why are you and Will holding hands?" El asked.

"O- oh I just-" Mike started.

"You just what? Are you trying to infect Will or something?" She sneered in disgust.

"Infect me with what?"

"Oh, he doesn't know, does he?" El laughed darkly and Mike could feel hot guilt prickling at his skin. "He doesn't know about your sick, twisted desires"

"I- I'm not-"

"I've been in your head, Mike." El scoffed. "I know what you think of."

"What are you talking about, El?" Will asked.

"Mike wants you, Will. He wants you like he's supposed to want me."

Will finally ripped his hand away from Mike's. "Is that true Mike?"

"N- no!"

"That's disgusting. You're disgusting, Mike." Will scoffed. "You know, maybe you had the right idea." He snatched the walkman away from Mike. "Maybe it would be better if you died. You know none of us would miss you."

Mike shook his head, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry Will, I didn't mean to."

"You can't hide anymore, Mike."

"Mike, Mike!" Will was shaking him by the shoulders frantically. "Mike, thank god. Are you okay?"

Mike pushed Will off of him, trying to ignore the hurt that crossed his face briefly.

"Wh- what?" Mike could feel tears collecting in his waterline and some of them spilled over. He rubbed at his eyes roughly with his sleeve.

Will stayed back but spoke gently. "It wasn't real Mike, whatever he made you see."

Mike looked around in disbelief, taking in Eleven's concerned expression, Lucas' horror and Max, who looked like she was about to throw up.

"But- but..." He shook his head.

"What happened? What did he make you see?" El asked softly.

"Y- you said you'd been in my mind and you could see what I thought and then you- you told Will and he, uh, he said-" His voice cracked slightly so he cleared his throat. "He said that it would be better if I... died."

Mike braved a glance up at Will, who looked completely horrified.

"I would- I would never say that. Never."

"Yeah, I know. I- I know you wouldn't." Mike lied. "I- it just felt so... real."

"I have not been in your head, Mike. I would not go without your permission, or if you were in danger." El promised.

Mike nodded.

"What would even be so bad that it would make you think I wanted you to die?" Will asked.

"I-I can't tell you. I'm sorry."

"Mike-" El started.

"No, no, it's fine." Will interrupted. "You don't have to say it."

Mike smiled gratefully at him, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

He didn't accept it when Will reached his hand out to him again. He could still feel the guilt heavy in his stomach, he could still taste it in the back of his throat.

---

Chapter Text

The rest of the day passed pretty uneventfully and Will insisted on staying with Mike at Lucas' house.

Tomorrow would be the last day of Mike's life.

If he was lucky.

Though Mike tried to insist that Will should take the bed and he'd take the floor, Will refused. Maybe another day Mike would have suggested that they just share the bed, but he still felt dirty all over from the vision. He didn't want to take advantage of Will.

Will, who was so pure, so good, even after everything he'd gone through. If it was Mike the darkness would've swallowed him whole ages ago, hell it almost already had and he hadn't been through half of what Will had. Unlike Mike though, Will remained as kind as he always had been. Kinder than Mike deserved.

"How are you holding up?" Will asked from the floor, soft like he always was. Treating Mike with more gentleness than anyone ever had before.

Maybe that's why Mike had fallen in-

"I'm okay." Mike whispered back. "Are you okay?"

Will scoffed, but not unkindly. "I'm fine, Mike." He laughed softly. "It's so like you to check on me when you're the one that's cursed. You're too selfless for your own good sometimes."

Mike wouldn't exactly use 'selfless' to describe himself, but maybe he was a little too selfless sometimes, maybe he had to be, to hide how selfish he really was, to compensate for the fact that he was bad. He had to check up on them so that he could be useful, so that they would have a reason not to leave. He couldn't be a burden. He was being one now.

"Sorry." Mike added.

"For what?"

"For making you worry about me. I didn't mean to."

"Are you- what are you apologising for? Getting cursed?" Will asked incredulously.

And, okay, when he put it like that it sounded a little stupid.

"Uh, I mean..."

"Mike." Will sat up. "You need to stop blaming yourself for everything. You put too much pressure on yourself."

"I don't- I-"

"When I came back from the upside down you told me you were sorry for not having invited me to stay over, as if you could've known what was going to happen."

Mike stayed quiet.

"After everything with the shadow monster you told me that you knew some BASIC and that you should've gone instead of Bob, and you kept studying it until you had it all memorised 'just in case'."

"Then, after Starcourt, do you remember when i found you sitting outside my house in the rain? You told me it should've been you instead of Billy, even though Billy was, let's face it, a horrible person." Will frowned.

Mike wanted to remind him that Mike was a horrible person too, but he doubted Will would take that well.

"And now you're apologising for something there's no way you could've controlled." Will continued. "How many more times am I going to have to tell you that everything isn't your fault before you believe me?"

"Sorry." Mike answered after a pause, not sure what Will wanted him to say.

"Don't be sorry. Just try to cut yourself some slack, okay? You aren't the cause for every injustice in this world, Mike. You're a good person, better than you give yourself credit for."

"Okay."

Mike hoped Vecna would take him while Will was sleeping and couldn't save him.

"The letters are in a box beneath my bed, by the way."

"We won't need them." Will said firmly.

Mike hoped he was wrong.

---

Mike woke up in the middle of the night to some strange noises beside him.

"Will?" He asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

He couldn't help but gasp at the sight in front of him.

The rustling noise had been the sound of the blanket falling to the side as Will began to rise in the air.

"Shit, Will?" He stood up. "Will!"

But it was no use, Will was unresponsive. Mike looked around frantically for the walkman, he thought he'd left it next to his bed but it wasn't there anymore.

That's when he heard the first sickening crack.

He looked up to see Will's leg bent at a weird angle.

"No!"

Crack.

"Will!" He screamed.

Crack. Crack. Crack.

Mike could only watch as Will's eyes were sucked into the back of his head.

When Will fell to the floor Mike caught him.

"Will." He cried. "Will. Help! Lucas!" He kept screaming but no one came.

"Will!"

He woke up panting, his breaths coming out in sharp bursts of air.

He looked over at the floor where Will was sleeping soundly, and his walkman was still where he'd left it.

Logically he knew Will was alive because he could see his chest rising and falling as he breathed.

But all the same Mike got onto the floor, kneeling next to Will and pressed two fingers against the side of his neck, feeling for a pulse.

Usually he went for Will's heart but, as panicked as he was, he didn't want to wake him up and his neck worked too.

Mike sighed in relief as he felt Will's steady heartbeat beneath his fingertips. He was about to pull away when Will suddenly stirred, opening his eyes slowly.

"Mike?" He asked sleepily.

Mike pulled away like he'd been burnt, trying to ignore the way his own heart sped up at the sound of Wills voice, which was deeper than usual.

"S- sorry I just-"

Will looked up and saw the tears on Mike's face.

"I was just checking." Mike murmured.

"Oh." Will sat up and wiped away a tear that fell from Mike's eye. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"No sorry." Will reminded him, then took Mike's hand and placed it on his chest, right over where his heart was. "What happened?"

"You got Vecna'd."

"You know that's impossible. I would have to be feeling the symptoms first."

"Well you could've been hiding them."

"I wouldn't do that."

"Right." He laughed slightly to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing, sometimes I just forget people want to live. Sorry, that's not funny."

"It's okay. Lets go back to sleep, yeah?"

"Okay. Goodnight Will."

"Goodnight."

Mike almost asked Will if he would share the bed with him, but stopped himself. What was he thinking? They weren't kids anymore.

___

Will let Mike sleep for as long as he wanted, after all, the longer he slept, the longer he wasn't being cursed by Vecna.

He woke up at around ten.

"Good morning."

"...Were you just sitting there waiting for me to wake up?"

"Sure was." Will said cheerfully.

"Nice."

"Do you wanna do anything?"

"For my last day alive?"

"Mike."

"Sorry, sorry. Uh, not really."

"Okay. Max and Lucas are downstairs with El."

"Cool, let's go down."

"Should we call Dustin or something?"

"...Fine, only Dustin though, so he doesn't feel left out. If I survive today we never have to tell anyone about this."

"Mike-"

"No, Will. I don't want anyone else to find out, enough people know already. Plus, if I don't die, no damage done, right? All it'd do is worry them."

"Well maybe they should be worried."

"Will. You can't tell anyone. Promise me."

Will sighed. "Fine. I promise."

Mike stuck out his pinky finger and Will smiled, remembering late nights in Mike's basement, whispered secrets and silly promises. When had they stopped doing that?

Will wrapped his pinky around Mike's.

---

Will had told Dustin about the situation and they were all hanging out in Lucas' living room now.

As the day progressed, Will became increasingly on edge. It was nearing nine in the afternoon and Vecna still hadn't made a single appearance-

"Dude your nose is bleeding." Dustin said and Will instantly snapped to attention.

"Does your head hurt?" Will asked.

Tick-tock.

Mike turned to the kitchen. The clock was there.

Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

"I can feel him." Will said.

"Is he activated?" Lucas asked

"Does it matter?" Max laughed. "It's not like any of us actually want to save him."

Dustin started to laugh too. "God, did you fall for it, Mike?"

El joined in. "Aw, look at his face. He really thought we cared."

Will scoffed. "As if anyone would ever care about someone like you."

"Will-"

"What? Did you think I didn't notice? I can see the way you look at me."

"I- I don't-"

"Please, Mike. We've all noticed your pathetic little crush. Everyone has." Max added scornfully. "You could not be more obvious."

Will got up and started walking towards Mike, cornering him against the sofa.

"Is this what you wanted, Mike?" Will asked mockingly. "Am I what you wanted?" His voice was strangely distorted.

"Vecna." Mike breathed.

"It is time, Michael." Will growled, beginning to turn into Vecna. "It is time for your suffering to end."

Mike took a deep breath, he knew this was a selfish way to die, giving in to the monster that had been tormenting them all these years, possibly feeding his power; but it was also the easiest way, and mike was so done with life, he just couldn't take it any longer.

Vecna didn't even bother restraining him with vines, he knew Mike wouldn't fight back.

As Vecna dug his claw into Mike's face, Mike let his eyes fall shut.

But then he felt Vecna fly backwards.

Mike opened his eyes, confused, to see El standing there with one arm outstretched.

"El?"

"Mike. You have to run."

Mike hesitated, only for a second, but El wasn't having it, she held out other arm and flung him towards the rift that the rest of the party had opened with the music.

When Mike fell from the air, Will caught him.

"Mike, thank god you're okay."

Mike didn't feel okay, he didn't say anything though, he just buried his face in Will's shoulder and pretended the reason he was crying was because of the vision Vecna ha shown him and not the fact that he was still alive.

But Mike didn't let himself cry for long. When he realised that El still hadn't awoken from the trance he felt himself begin to panic.

He pulled away from Will.

"El? El, you have to get out of there!"

"I can... stop him."

"What?"

"I can. Fight."

And she did, after a few minutes, during which Mike felt like he couldn't breathe, El opened her eyes.

"I- I can't feel him anymore." Will breathed in disbelief.

"El, you did it!" Dustin exclaimed. "You won!"

Max laughed breathlessly. "Oh my god, El."

Everyone cheered and celebrated, even Mike, though most of his cheer was forced and he didn't feel in much of a celebratory kind of mood.

Will could tell, Mike knew he could. He could feel Will's eyes following him the whole time.

They called the rest of the team and told them the good news. They were so caught up in celebrating that none of the older members really questioned what El had been doing in Vecna's mind, much to Mike's relief.

When they looked out of the window the gates were beginning to close.

It was finally over, but they couldn't be too careless. Nancy told Will to call them immediately if he felt him again.

---

Chapter Text

It had been two days since Vecna had gotten Mike and been defeated by El, and Mike had barely left his bed.

Everyone else seemed to be in a good mood, tired but happy nonetheless. Mike should be happy too, the evil that had been haunting his best friend since they was twelve wouldn't be able to hurt him anymore, but he couldn't help but wish that they'd never found out that he was cursed. He knew that if they hadn't, Vecna would still be here. But at least Mike wouldn't.

It was selfish of him, he knew it was, and he felt guilty.

That was pretty much all he felt.

He considered biking over to the cliff at the quarry and just getting it over with, a full circle kinda thing, but he couldn't quite bring himself to get up.

He wondered if the others would let him just lie there until he slowly faded away.

But Mike knew there was at least one person that never would.

"You're moping."

I know.

"No I'm not."

"Why?"

I want to be dead.

"I'm not moping, Will."

Will. Will, who was scarred but still so pure. Will, who was always looking out for everyone. Will, who wouldn't let him fade away no matter how much he wanted to and no matter how hard he tried.

Will sat down on the bed next to him carefully like Mike was something fragile that needed care. Like he deserved it.

"I know something's wrong, Mike." And Mike never claimed to be able to resist Will Byers.

"I don't know, nothing's really wrong, everything's just so... fucked up. I mean, not with everything else, we defeated Vecna, he's gone, so I should be happy, right? But I'm not. It's like I don't know what to do anymore. Everything's fucked up with me. Like, I don't want to upset you or anything but, I- uh, never mind, actually."

"You don't have to say it.' Will said kindly. 'I think I know what you're taking about. I know you don't think so, but you being alive is a good thing, I'm glad you are. I'd miss you if you left and, this may be cheesy and cliché, but it does get better. I'm serious."

Mike squeezed his eyes shut and tried to will his voice not to shake too much.

"I don't believe you." He said. "A- and even if I did, I don't care, I don't want it to get better, i just want to... go away."

'You have to know I can't let that happen.' Will said softly, carefully.

"I know." Mike said, not being able to keep the shake out of his voice this time, or hold back the pathetic sob that escaped his throat. "I know, I'm sorry, Will, I-"

Mike let Will take him into his arms as he cried in a way he hadn't since Will had 'died'. He wasn't mourning Will this time. It felt a lot like he was mourning himself. He wasn't sure what he was mourning, though, his life or his death.

---

When Mike finished his embarrassingly long cry, he pulled away, not looking Will in the eye, shame and embarrassment coursing through his veins. "Sorry."

Will gave him a look. "No sorry."

"Right, n- no sorry."

Will sat down next to Mike on the bed.

Mike geared himself up for another serious conversation. Yay.

"It's okay to feel lost after we defeated Vecna, we've been fighting monsters for the past three years. Hell, I used to not think I'd make it past twelve, but I did. I've been feeling weird too, now I don't have to constantly fear for my life there's so many things I could do that I missed out on before. I remember when I moved to California , it was weird to be there without you guys, but I finally felt safe. El had a hard time but I was happy there. It took a while to adjust, though, it took time to figure things out. Maybe now we could try to adjust... together?"

Mike had so many things he wanted to say.

I can't imagine a future for me in which I'm not completely miserable.

Do you remember when I told you we would go crazy together?

Have you gone crazy too or is it just me this time around?

Instead he settled for:

"Do you really think we could?"

"Yeah, yeah, I really do."

Mike wasn't sure if he did too.

---

Mike tried, he really tried to be okay.

But nothing worked. He just needed to forget, if only for a bit.

He remembered his mom had a stash of wine in her closet. Surely she wouldn't notice a few sips from one bottle gone. He wouldn't even get drunk, he'd only have enough to help him escape.

---

When Will, who was living temporarily with the Wheelers, knocked on Mike's door there was no answer.

"Mike?" He called.

"Go 'way, Nancy." Mike slurred.

"It's, uh, it's Will."

"Oh, Will! You can c'me in." Mike almost sounded... drunk?

Will opened the door and the smell of alcohol was so prominent in the air that he gagged.

"Ugh, Mike, what?"

Mike was lying face-down on the floor, an empty wine bottle next to him.

"Are you drunk?" Will asked incredulously.

"No! I only hadda 'lil bit."

"Where'd you even get that?"

"My mom's so much wine, Will. Sso much."

Will pursed his lips. He didn't want to scream at Mike but he already did not do well around drunk people. He knew Mike would never hurt him, but that didn't do much for the uneasiness coursing through his veins.

"Get up, Mike."

Mike tried to push himself up but failed.

"Can't. Feel so heavy. All over."

"Okay." Will took a deep breath. "I'm gonna pick you up."

"Hmm, you look like you could with your strong arms."

It took Will a moment to decipher Mike's muffled speech, but when he did, he flushed red.

"What?"

"Yeah, they're all like big 'n muscly."

"Um, o- okay? I'm going to pick you up then."

"Mkay."

Will carefully rolled Mike around and then put his arms around his waist, lifting him up.

Mike wasn't especially heavy and it helped that he wrapped his legs around Will as soon as he picked him up.

"I'm going to take you to the bathroom in case you throw up, okay?"

"'M not gonna throw up"

"Okay, tough guy."

About halfway to the bathroom, Mike decided it would be a great idea to squeeze Will's biceps with both his hands, causing Will to almost drop him. Mike had the nerve to giggle.

"Strong."

Mike would be the death of him.

Will finally deposited Mike on the bathroom floor and, despite his earlier claims, Mike almost immediately hunched over the toilet.

Will pulled back Mike's hair and held it away from his face as he threw up. He wasn't sure when Mike had started crying.

"I miss Eddie." Mike told him. "A lot."

Will had never gotten to meet Eddie, but he'd heard a lot about him from the rest of the party. Not Mike. Mike never talked about him.

"I know, Mike, I'm sorry."

"You would've loved him. He would've loved you too, would've said that you were totally metal." Mike cried gently into the toilet.

"I wish I could've met him, I'm sure he was great."

"He was. He was- he was so handsome." Mike's tone changing now, quieter. Ashamed. "Like you."

Mike didn't give him a chance to answer.

"I'm done throwing up now." He informed Will.

"O... kay. Do you want some water?"

"Yes please."

---

Mike woke up with his head pounding.

He groaned as he sat up.

"Hey."

Mike practically jumped out of his skin, only making his headache worse.

When his vision stopped blurring, he looked down to see Will sitting on his floor.

"How are you feeling?" Will asked.

"Uh, fine."

"Mhm. Do you want some Tylenol?"

"How did you...?"

"You don't remember? You got drunk last night."

Now Mike could see the muted anger bubbling in Will's eyes.

"Oh. Oh my god. Shit, I'm sorry." Memories of last night began to flood back to him. "I- I never meant for you to-"

"It's fine, Mike. I get it, just don't do it again. There are much better ways to deal with your issues than drinking them away."

"I know. Sorry."

Will sighed. "It's okay."

Mike nodded, still looking guilty.

"Do you want Tylenol?" Will repeated. "For your head."

Something unreadable flashed over Mike's face for a second. "No thanks."

We're going to need something a little stronger if you want to fix my head. He thought then.

---

Mike had never claimed he wasn't a liar, okay?

He knew he was a terrible person, and he felt bad, but self-awareness had never absolved him of anything.

Either way, he tried, seriously he did, but it was so hard. Too hard. He felt like he was drowning all the time, and he was desperately trying not to kill himself, for Will, though he was pretty sure Will wouldn't be much happier about him drinking again.

He made sure to lock the door this time.

Mike didn't even try to kid himself this time around, he knew it wasn't going to be 'just a few sips'. He just shut off his thoughts in general.

He had never been lucky though, he knew it had been too much to wish for that Will wouldn't come to his room.

"Mike?" Will called out, knocking on the door.

Mike opted for not answering, hoping Will would just go away, which was admittedly a little stupid, maybe.

"Mike? It's Will."

When Mike still didn't answer, Will tried the door handle . "Mike! Why is your door locked?"

Hearing the frantic tone in Will's voice, Mike decided it would be to mean not to answer.

"'M fine Will, go away. Just wanna be alone." He said, trying his hardest not to slur his words.

"...Mike, are you drunk again?" Of course Will would notice.

"No."

Will sighed. "Just open the door, okay?"

Mike hesitated only for a moment before crawling over to the door and unlocking it.

As soon as Will opened the door, apologies started falling from Mike's lips.

"'M sorry, Will, I didn't mean to. 'M trying, I really am and I know that's not good enough but it just gets so hard and- just, please don't be mad." Mike didn't look at Will, he couldn't, guilt was ripping at his insides.

"I'm not mad, Mike." Will said which, yeah he had been a little mad, but seeing how guilty Mike seemed to feel, his anger disolved.

"You should be." Mike said. "I lied."

"It's okay, you said you were trying, right? That's good enough for me. Just don't give up."

Mike shook his head. "You're too good. You shouldn't forgive me."

"Mike-"

But Mike wasn't done. "'M bad, Will. 'M a bad person."

"You're not a bad person, Mike."

Mike just shrugged. "I don't think I like wine anyway, tastes gross and it doesn't even make me feel any better, just makes me sad."

Will sighed, pretending not to notice the change of subject. "Okay, Mike."

---

The next morning Mike ignored his pounding headache in favour of just lying in his bed and feeling sorry for himself.

He didn't want to drink again. For Will, yes, but he also didn't think it was for him, he'd expected it to quiet his bad thoughts but all it'd done was enhance them. And make him more vocal about them apparently, which sucked.

Was it really too much to ask for all his troubles to float away?

Chapter Text

"Jonathan!" Will yelled, storming into the guest room where he was staying, Karen insisting he couldn't room with Nancy.

"Will, what's wrong?"

"Did you give Mike weed?" He hissed.

"Uh... Look, he came in and asked me for some so I-"

"So you gave it to him? What the fuck, Jonathan."

"Will, you didn't see him, he looked awful, looked like he really needed some."

"Of course I've seen him, Jonathan! I sleep in the same room as him, but he doesn't need weed, he needs help!"

"Why, what's happening with him? I figured he was just upset over like the upside down or something."

"Well it's not that."

"What is it then?" Jonathan frowned.

"Just... stuff."

"Is it really that bad for him to smoke a little weed occasionally to feel better? We all need to forget sometimes."

"It's not about the weed, Jonathan! It's about him finding a healthy coping mechanism. He's been drinking, now smoking too apparently, I just want him to... I just wanna help him be okay."

"Woah, since when does Mike drink?"

"I don't know, apparently his mom has a big stash of wine he steals from sometimes, I've only seen him drunk like three times."

Jonathan sighed. "I'm sorry I gave him weed, I won't do it again."

"Good." Will said, sitting down on the bed next to Jonathan. "It's okay though, you didn't know. I'm sorry for yelling, I guess I'm just a little stressed out."

"Yeah, well, I probably shouldn't be giving weed out to fifteen year olds regardless. Especially not for free."

Will tried to look stern but cracked a smile at the joke.

"Yeah, probably."

---

It was decided, no more getting drunk or high in his own room where Will could see.

So there he was, biking away from his house with some weed he'd stolen in a baggie in his pocket. He probably shouldn't have stolen it, but Jonathan had refused to give him any more. Desperate times called for desperate measures, right? Well Mike was certainly desperate.

---

"I can't find Mike." Will said into the walkie talkie. "Is he with any of you? Over."

"He is not with me." Came El's voice. "He is not in his room? Over."

"No. He's not in the basement either. Over."

"He's not with me either." Dustin added. "Over."

"Lucas? Max?"

"He's not with us either." Max said, refusing to say over, as usual.

"I think I saw him leave on his bike like ten minutes ago." Lucas informed them. "He passed by my window. Over."

"Do you know where he could've gone? Over?"

"I don't mean to worry you Will, but you might want to check at the quarry." Max said carefully.

Will was up in a flash, running down the stairs and pulling on his shoes.

"I'm gonna borrow your bike, Lucas, I don't have one here, open the garage."

"On it. Over."

"I'll be back in a bit mom, I'm going to Lucas'!" He called, running out of the Wheeler's house without waiting for an answer.

"Do you really think he'll be at the quarry, Max? As far as I know he hasn't been there since... y'know. Over."

"Well I know further than you, Dustin, and I know he goes there a lot."

"What's 'y'know'? Uh, over." Lucas asked.

Will finally got to the Sinclair's house where Lucas was waiting with a bike.

"Thanks, Lucas!"

He wasted no time in hopping on and pedalling away as fast as he could.

El, who had been quiet the whole time, finally decided to speak up, her words almost making Will fall off Lucas' bike.

"When he jumped from the cliff."

"WHAT!?" Lucas and Will yelled, almost in unison.

"That is what Dustin meant by 'you know' I think. Over." She finished.

"When did that happen?" Lucas asked as Will pedalled faster, panic rising in him, he could taste bile.

"When Will was missing, after you and him fought we went looking for El but Troy and James were there with a knife. Told us they'd cut my baby teeth out if he didn't jump." Dustin explained.

"So he jumped?" Will exclaimed.

"Yeah, but El saved him."

"Troy wouldn't have actually cut your teeth out, no way!" Lucas added.

"Yeah, I know." Dustin said. "I think maybe Mike knew it too. He's not going to be happy we told you."

"Will needed to know." El said.

"I'm at the quarry, I can see Mike, he's sitting at the edge."

"Keep us updated." Max said.

"I will. Over and out." Will switched off his walkie talkie, dropping it on the floor as he jumped off of the bike and started walking towards Mike, slow so he wouldn't spook him.

As he got closer he realised how wobbly Mike was, swaying at strong gusts of wind.

"Mike?" Will called out.

Mike turned to look at him. "Will!" He grinned, his eyes were red.

"Hey, Mike." Will was close now, almost touching him. "I'm gonna pull you away from the edge now, okay? Then we can go see Lucas if you want."

"We can see Lucas?" Mike asked, still grinning and, yup, he was definitely high.

"Yeah, we can see Lucas, just take my hand."

Mike hummed in agreement, taking Will's outstretched hand and Will sighed in relief as Mike let himself be pulled from the edge.

"Where's your bike?"

"Left it in those bushes."

"Okay, we can leave it there, I'll come back for it later."

Mike nodded.

"Cool, get on the back of mine and hold on tight, okay?" Will said.

"Okay."

Will switched on the walkie talkie. "I've got him, he's high though, can we stay at yours until he sobers up, Lucas? Over."

"Yeah, sure." Lucas replied almost instantly. "Is he alright? Over."

"I don't know, I'm guessing no. I'll talk to him when he's sober." Will sighed. "Over and out."

---

Mike took a nap on Lucas' sofa while Lucas, Will and Max talked.

"Since when does Mike smoke weed?" Lucas asked.

"He smoked sometimes when Will and El were in Cali." Max said, which was news to Will. "But not often, only when Eddie had some left over from his deals. They smoked together sometimes too."

"You said he went to the quarry a lot." Will added.

"Yeah, I went with him sometimes but usually he went alone. I don't know if it was some sort of self-punishment, going to the place where you 'died', or if he was going to jump or what. I don't know why he was going there."

"You knew he wanted to kill himself, didn't you? When I asked you why he wouldn't tell anyone he was cursed you were acting all weird."

"Yes, I knew. I'm sorry, Will."

"It's fine." Will said, unsure what else to say.

"Hey." Lucas put his hand on Will's shoulder. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I just hate seeing Mike like this, I don't know how to help him."

"Yeah, it sucks. All you can really do for him is be there for him. He's going to get through this."

"I dunno Lucas, I'm just scared I guess."

"I'm scared too man. But Mike's strong. He can beat this."

Will looked over at Mike sleeping peacefully on the sofa, cheek smushed slightly where it was pressed up against a cushion, curled up in a ball under a blanket which he had pulled up to his chin, gripping it softly. His shut eyes caused his lashes to be almost brushing his freckled cheeks, his hair was splayed out under him, a few strands falling onto his face and neck, his lips slightly parted. Mike was undeniably beautiful, the prettiest boy Will had ever had the pleasure to lay his eyes on.

Will sighed.

"I really hope you're right."

---

When Mike woke up he seemed slightly disoriented.

"Why are we at Lucas' house?"

"Hi Mike, do you want some water?" Lucas offered.

"Uh, yes please." He took in the serious faces of everyone around him. "Did something happen?" He asked.

Will handed him a glass of water. "Yeah. We should get going, Mike."

"Okay. What happened?"

"We'll talk when we get to your house, okay?"

Will was mostly quiet on the short walk home, he seemed sad, a little troubled.

As soon as they got to Mike's room and Will shut the door, Mike started talking.

"What happened, are you okay? Are El and Dustin okay? Is it him, is he back? Does-"

"Woah, woah. I'm fine, El and Dustin are fine, he's not back. It's nothing like that."

"Okay." Mike released a breath he hadn't even realised he was holding in. "What's wrong then?"

"I found you at the quarry. sitting at the edge."

"What?"

"You were high, just sitting there. Do you remember that?"

"I remember going. Not you finding me."

"Okay-"

"How did you know I was there?"

"Max said you might be, but-"

"I wasn't going to jump. I just go there sometimes."

"It doesn't matter if you were going to jump or not! You were high, you could barely stay upright, you could've fallen!"

"I wasn't going to fall, Will."

"You don't know that."

"...You're right, I don't. Even if I wasn't high there's still a chance I could fall."

"Is that why you go there?"

"I go there because it's comforting."

"Comforting?"

"Yes!" Mike snapped.

"Whatever, okay, it's comforting. Where did you get the weed? Did Jonathan give it to you?"

Mike had the grace to look embarrassed. "I, uh, stole it."

"From Jonathan?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"Jesus. It's- it's fine, don't worry about that. Don't do it again."

"I won't"

Will sat down on the bed and gestured for Mike to do the same.

"I'm not going to ask you to never drink or smoke ever again, I know that's not fair, and I'm not going to ask you to never go back to the quarry if it's... comforting for you, but please be careful ad please don't go there under the influence again. I'm just asking you to talk to me, please Mike, talk to me. I want to help you."

"I- I can't."

Will tried to stop the tears, but they spilled over all the same.

"I'm sorry." Mike said, sounding on the verge of tears himself.

"Don't apologise."

"Stop saying that! Why wouldn't I apologise? I- I messed up and I keep messing up all the time, and now you're upset and it's my fault! I don't even understand why you still wanna be my friend! You shouldn't, and you shouldn't want to help me and I... I made you cry."

Mike looked so much like a kicked puppy that Will just wanted to shake him and yell how amazing he was and that he was a good friend and a good person and Will was so in love with him.

Instead he settled for pulling Mike into a hug.

"You're a good friend, Mike. It's okay to mess up sometimes, I've messed up too, we all have. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to, but I want you to know that I'm here and I always will be, okay? You've always been there for me, now it's my turn, but not because I think I owe it to you, because I want to. I mean, crazy together, right?"

That last comment seemed to be the breaking point for Mike, who let out a sob.

Will held him tighter, both of them crying into each other's arms.

"You still remember that?" Mike choked out.

"Of course I do."

"I thought- I was going crazy all on my o- own."

"I would never let you go crazy alone." Will promised. "We're in this together."

"Together." Mike echoed and it tasted sweet in his mouth, it tasted like a future in which he might not have to be so miserable anymore.

---

"I think I'm ready to talk." Mike practically whispered.

Will looked up from his sketchbook, promptly closing it and putting it down, giving Mike his full attention. "Okay."

"I just-" Mike looked down. "I guess I don't really know where to start."

"That's okay, take your time."

"Okay." A deep breath. seeing how patient and soft Will was being already made Mike feel like crying. "It's just.. hard."

"What is?"

"Everything." Mike looked down at his hands. "I guess I just don't really see the point in trying anymore, y'know?"

Mike glanced up at Will who nodded.

"It's like, I have people who I care about and, I mean, I think they care about me too most of the time, but I'm not- I'm not happy with my life and I-" He sighed. "I don't know what to do about it, I'm just so tired, I'm so tired Will." He choked back a sob, tears already filling his eyes.

Mike pressed his lips together, he hated crying in front of people, even if it was just Will.

Will slipped his hand into Mike's, squeezing it.

"It's hard to do stuff, anything, hell even just waking up in the morning is hard, and I'm irritable all the time, I snap so easily and then I feel bad about it." The tears had begun to flow now. "But it's like I just keep hurting everyone around me. I just... hate myself. I'm too sharp around the edges, too mean, and I hate the way I look and I'm not normal, Will. There's something wrong with me, like in my head and- and something else too. I'm just- I'm bad."

At this point Mike was almost full-on sobbing.

"I can't help anyone, or protect them, you, Bob, El, Hopper, Max, E- Eddie. I couldn't protect any of you, I couldn't even save unknown hero agent man. I'm useless, none of you need me for anything, all I do is cause problems. God, I miss who I used to be."

Mike shook with the force of his cries, Will pulled him to his chest, wrapping his arms around him, trying to transmit all of his love into the hug.

"It's not your responsibility to 'save' anyone, Mike, we're fifteen. None of this is your fault, it's not anyone's, and you're not bad. I've known you almost my entire life and I've never even thought of using 'bad' to describe you, not even after we fought, not even when I was really pissed at you. You're good, Mike, the best person I've ever met, even."

"No, n- no-"

"Yes. Yes and I'll keep saying it until you believe me. You're good, so good, and," Will put his hands on either side of Mike's face, pushing it away from where it was buried in Will's chest so he could look him in the eyes. "you're beautiful."

Mike's eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

"You're beautiful."

"You don't mean that." He said, averting his gaze.

"I do, I mean it. You're beautiful. Your eyes, your hair, your face, your freckles." Will swiped his thumbs over Mike's cheekbones. "You're beautiful."

"Really?" Mike's cheeks were pink under Will's hands. There was still doubt in his eyes but there was something else too, Will wasn't quite sure what.

"Of course."

Will was sure he'd imagined it when Mike's eyes flickered down to his mouth.

Mike pulled Will back into a hug.

"You're beautiful too." He whispered. He could feel Will smile against his neck, but then he pulled away again to look Mike in the eyes.

"You said you think there's something wrong with you. Why do you think that?"

Mike hesitated.

"I don't know, just everything, like the uh, wanting to y'know." He motioned slitting his throat. "That, and then sometimes..." He looked down, trailing off.

"Yeah?" Will prompted.

"It's bad."

"Tell me."

"Okay... Sometimes I get thoughts about, like, hurting myself or- or other people." He was almost whispering now. "I mean, I wouldn't! I just, It's so vivid and hard to make them go away. They don't happen that often but still. They scare me sometimes, y'know?"

"Yeah. It's okay."

"You don't think it's weird?"

"No. I wouldn't think that, not about you."

"Well, good, 'cause there's more."

Will nodded, signalling for Mike to continue.

"Well, in my head I have this like... character of sorts, and he's- well he's me but like cooler." Mike winced. "God, that makes me sound like such a loser, but anyway, I have these like extensive stories with him, but it's not like a story I would read you or something, it's like, he's going through the same kinda things I am, but he gets comforted by the other characters. It's so stupid, I'm so desperate for comfort that I have to make it up in my head, I mean it's fucked up."

"It's not fucked up." Will reassured him. "But you know if you ever want comfort, you can always come to me."

Mike smiled sadly. "I don't want to be annoying."

"You're never annoying. Not even when we go to the movies and you and Dustin argue about which seats are better for like half an hour every time and you pout when we get them too close."

"I do not pout." He complained but a smile was pulling at his lips.

"Of course you don't, just like you don't steal my popcorn."

They both laughed, but when Mike looked up again, a serious expression had returned to his face.

"Can I tell you one more thing?"

"Of course."

"Promise you won't be mad?"

"I promise."

Mike scanned his face for any trace of insincerity, when he didn't find any, he took a deep breath.

"I think I- I don't think I like girls. As in I l- like guys. Like attracted to them. Sorry."

He braced himself for Will to push him away and tell him how horrible and gross that was, how horrible and gross he was, but the anger never came. All Will did was let out a soft "Oh, Mike." and pull him into a tight hug.

Mike tensed up all over. "What?"

"You thought I'd be mad?"

"You're not?"

"No. I would never, ever be mad about that. It doesn't change anything. You're still the same Mike."

Mike sobbed softly into Will's chest. "I- in the garage last year when we fought I'm sorry I said... that. I was just scared. I was trying to be normal."

"You are normal." Will promised. "I'm sorry for what I said too, I was upset, but I think I understand now."

"You're my best friend, Will." Mike added out of nowhere.

"You're mine too, Mike."

Though he knew that wasn't what Will had meant, he wanted to scream with how much he wanted to be Will's.

Instead he just held him tighter.

Chapter Text

Something had shifted between Will and Mike, not in a bad way, not in a 'oh you're gay that's so gross I don't wanna be friends anymore' way.

No, things had changed in the sense that Will was more touchy now, and Mike would freeze wide-eyed at first, but then eventually just let it happen. On days where Mike couldn't quite bring himself to get out of bed, Will didn't scold him like his mother often would, he would just keep him company, maybe stroke his hair. On those days Mike was more receptive to Will's touch, not having enough energy to abide to societal norms, except for some days in which he wouldn't let Will touch him at all, at first Will had been confused and a little upset, thinking Mike was mad at him, but the next day Mike had explained that he just couldn't bear the thought of being touched on some of his worse days, he didn't add that being touched by Will especially made him feel shameful and dirty. So on those days Mike would just lay facing the wall, blanket pulled up to his chin and Will would just sit on the floor, sometimes he'd talk, sometimes he just sat in silence. Occasionally Mike would want Will to leave, which he did, but mostly just his presence was a big comfort and Will never wanted Mike to feel alone.

But sometimes Will needed comfort too.

"Mike." Will whispered, nudging him. "Mike."

"Hmm." Mike mumbled incoherently.

"Can I sleep in the bed with you?"

"Mhmm" He looked like he was going to go back to sleep, but then sat up abruptly, making Will jump. "Wait, what? Are you crying? What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare? Are you- mmph."

Will cut him off, covering his mouth with his hand. Mike's eyes widened, looking down at Will's hand and Will could feel Mike's cheeks begin to heat up under his palm so he quickly removed it.

"I had a nightmare. Can I sleep here?"

"Yeah, do you want the side next to the wall?"

"Yes please." Will smiled, he couldn't believe Mike remembered his thing with sleeping next to the wall, it had been years since they'd shared a bed.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just the usual, y'know."

Mike nodded.

"Can we...?" Will took the front of Mike's shirt and pulled him a little closer.

Mike's eyes widened again. "You want to cuddle?"

"Is that okay?"

"But- but I'm... gay." He whispered, like it pained him to say it.

"Gay people still get to cuddle with their guy friends, Mike. It's okay."

"You're not uncomfortable?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I was uncomfortable."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"Don't be."

Mike cautiously shuffled an inch closer to Will but Will just rolled his eyes and tugged Mike practically on top of him.

"It doesn't have to be weird." He whispered.

After a short pause Mike said "I would've asked you to come up here ages ago but I didn't want to freak you out. The floor doesn't look very comfortable."

"It's not. I could keep sleeping here if you want."

"Um, I mean if you wanted to, that would be okay with me."

"Well, it is comfier than the floor."

"Okay. You can, then."

"Cool." Will smiled.

"Cool." Mike replied, sporting a matching grin.

So Will wrapped his arms around him, almost like a hug, and though Mike was a little stiff at first, he eventually began to relax and his arms snaked around Will's (strong, broad) shoulders.

"Mike?"

"...Mhm?"

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"I'm gay too."

Mike, honest to god gasped, which was a little dramatic even for him, and then promptly choked on his own spit and began to cough loudly, pulling away.

"Fu- uck." He managed between coughs. "I'm so- orry."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect that." He said finally regaining his composure.

"Clearly."

"God, I'm so sorry."

"Are you offering your condolences for me being gay?" Will joked.

"No! No, no. I just meant because this whole time I've been all self-pitying acting like being gay is the worst thing in the world and you're gay too."

"Oh. It's fine, Mike."

"No it's-"

"It's fine, seriously. I came to terms with being gay a long time ago, plus I know you're not being homophobic, just hating yourself."

"I do not- whatever. It's totally cool that you're gay by the way- I mean, not cool! Not that I want you to be gay, just... yeah. I, uh, support you."

Will smiled at his awkwardness. "Thank you Mike."

Talking to Mike was like a magic nightmare disappearing spell, he could barely remember what had gotten him so upset.

He reassumed their previous position, holding Mike close to his chest.

"Goodnight, Mike."

"Goodnight."

---

"So." Will started.

He was in Jonathan's room (the Wheeler's guest room) and they were listening to a new mixtape he had made.

"So?" Jonathan replied.

"I came out to Mike."

"What?" Jonathan paused the music. "What did he say? Do I need to kill him?"

"No." Will shot him a look. "Don't kill him. It went well."

"Oh, good 'cause I figured it would, but there's always the chance he would be an asshole about it."

"Well he wasn't an asshole. He isn't an asshole."

"I'm glad. I'm happy for you Will."

"Thanks Jonathan." Will smiled to himself.

He hadn't dared to think about it but, the fact that Mike was gay too meant that Will had a chance with him, however small it was.

---

Maybe he'd celebrated too soon though, because Mike had started to act pretty weird around him.

Physical contact was something he'd begun to avoid at all costs again, he barely looked Will in the eye and seemed to have a permanent embarrassed blush on his cheeks.

So, naturally, Will confronted him about it.

He walked into Mike's room and shut the door behind him, making Mike jump. He'd been sitting on his bed just staring into the distance, but looked up at Will when he walked in.

"Hi?-"

"You're acting weird."

"What? N- no I'm not!"

"Yes you are. Is something wrong?" Will frowned and Mike audibly swallowed.

"Okay, fine there is something." Mike admitted. "But I- I have it under control."

"Under control? What...? What's going on?"

"Nothing bad, well a little bit bad, but not like whatever you're thinking."

"Oh c'mon, tell me." Will pouted.

"No."

"Please?"

Mike hesitated. "...Um, promise you won't hate me?"

"I thought we'd already established I could never hate you."

"Oh. Oh, it's good that we've established that then. Cool, cool. Good, yeah, I'm in love with you. Yeah."

It took Will a moment to realise what Mike had said, but when he did his eyes widened. "What?"

"Yeah." Mike laughed nervously. "Sorry."

And suddenly it all made sense, the blushing, the way he'd acted all of last year, the look in his eyes that Will couldn't quite decipher. It had been love, this whole time it had been love. Will couldn't help but grin.

"You're in love with me." He breathed.

Mike still hadn't dared to look up at Will, but he nodded slowly.

Well that just wouldn't do. Will stepped closer and tilted Mike's head up by the chin.

Mike was already blushing, but his cheeks burned at that. "Um-"

Will wasn't really sure why, since Mike was usually the one with terrible impulse control, but he kissed Mike full on the mouth.

Mike let out a surprised squeak and when Will pulled away, his mouth hung open.

Mike brought a hand up to touch his parted lips, seemingly shocked.

"You just kissed me."

"Yeah. I did." Will smiled. "I'm in love with you too."

Mike giggled and then pressed his hand over his mouth. "Oh my god." He said, muffled. "You're not kidding?"

"No."

Mike tugged Will down by the t-shirt, maybe with a little too much force because Will fell on top of him, but Mike didn't let that discourage him, taking Will's face in his hands and kissing him.

Will laughed into Mike's mouth and Mike was smiling too, so it was a bit messy.

That didn't really matter to Mike though, it was still the best thing he'd ever experienced, millions of kisses with Eleven fading into the background with Will's lips on his.

When Will pulled away, he pressed a flurry of feather-light kisses all across Mike's face, following his freckles.

Then he just admired Mike lying beneath him, hair fanned out on his bed, his lips red and smiling, the freckles Will loved so dearly over flushed pink cheeks and his soft brown eyes shining in a way Will hadn't really seen since they were kids. Much too long ago. Will vowed to himself to help bring back the brightness in Mike's eyes.

"You're so pretty." He whispered.

Mike pulled him into another kiss.

---

Mike wasn't having a good day at all.

Well, technically he had just woken up, but he wished he hadn't. Nope, he was trying not to think like that anymore.

It was fine, it would be fine, he didn't have anything to do today, he would just stay in bed today and tomorrow would be better. Or not. It probably wouldn't be better.

He sighed internally. He was trying to be optimistic, really he was, but it was so hard to shake the negative thoughts, he'd always been pessimistic. Not like Will, Will who always tried to see the positive even when everything had gone to shit.

Mike wanted to find something sharp and dig it into his arms repeatedly until they were covered in bloody slashes and the pain made him forget the hurt. it's not like it would be the first time.

He shook the thought from his head, though it was never really gone.

"Hey, you awake?" Will whispered and Mike nodded his head, face still buried in his pillow.

"You okay?"

Another nod.

Mike didn't know how he did it, but Will always seemed to know the difference between when Mike just wanted five more minutes of sleep—which was everyday—and when he was having one of those days.

"Mike..." Will started, in a tone that said he didn't believe Mike was okay.

"If you already know why are you asking." He snapped.

Then he sighed "...Sorry."

"It's fine."

"Not everything I do can be 'fine'. Let me apologise." Mike scowled into the pillow.

"I did let you apologise, and then I forgave you."

'You shouldn't.' He wanted to say, instead he settled for, "Nevermind."

Mike could imagine Will was pursing his lips, wanting to go on a rant about 'how amazing you are'.

"Do you want me to stay or do you wanna be alone?"

"Stay. Please. I'm sorry for being mean."

"It's okay." Will promised, placing a soft kiss in Mike's hair.

Mike reached his hand out and Will took it, then Mike tugged him towards the bed.

"Oof, ugh Mike. You could just tell me you want to cuddle, you know?" Will groaned, but he was laughing.

"What would be the fun in that?" Mike mumbled and Will could feel him smiling against his shoulder when he curled into him.

He lay his head on Will's chest, arms around him and Will wrapped one arm around Mike's waist, his other hand playing with Mike's hair.

Mike tilted his head up to look at Will, who was already looking back at him.

"Hi." Will smiled and Mike could feel a deep blush colouring him pink to the bone.

"Hi." Mike paused, squinting. "Kiss me?"

Will laughed and moved the hand in Mike's hair to cup his face and pulled him into a kiss, so soft and tender that Mike felt like he was melting.

He was glad he had Will, Will was always there for him and Mike was there for Will too.

They'd made it through fighting, the literal end of the world, Mike's self destructive habits which Will was now trying to help him break, they'd both almost died at least ten times, at the hands of the upside down and in Mike's case at his own hands.

They were both scarred, inside and out, but they were still standing. Together.

"I love you." Mike whispered, not for the first time and far from the last.

"I love you too, Mike."

No more hiding, no more veiled confessions, no more lies, no more hurtful words yelled to conceal the truth. Just them. Just love.