Archive of Our Own

Flowers aren’t something Gabi particularly cares about. 

They’re lovely, sure, smell good too, and the variety of pretty colors they provide is always satisfying to look at, but— for years now, a lush garden has been thriving right behind her door, and for her the flowers are a dull reality rather than an enticing rarity. 

They are a pain in the ass to manage too, the weeds, the withering blossoms, all of it needs to be chopped or cut, and it drains Gabi’s energy quite like nothing else. Her garden is all but wilting, a sad, pathetic imitation of what it was before, but Gabi is too lazy to try and return it to its former glory and too sentimental to get rid of it entirely. 

That garden doesn’t actually belong to her, after all. It is a creation of her cousin Reiner, the first seeds were planted when Gabi was but a little kid. She grew along with that garden. And she still remembers her fascination, the sheer wonder the first bloomed bud had gifted her. With Reiner by her side, with his strength and patience guiding her, she tended to the garden and watched more and more flowers appear. 

To this day, it remains one of her brightest, happiest memories. It warms her heart in times of gloom, and in the last years, spent apart from Reiner – he too busy with the work abroad and she too busy with her studies, that wilting garden is the only thing that reminds Gabi of a golden glow of childhood. 

It’s useful too, when vines and weeds don’t bother her, Gabi enjoys the garden's many fruits. She fills her house with roses and peonies, she makes Zofia smile by surprising her with a bouquet of lilies, she helps Udo out by thrusting a few tulips before he goes out on another date of his, she brings chrysanthemums every time she visits Falco and his mother. 

The garden comes in handy in many different ways, and one gloomy, rainy day it brings a new friend to Gabi’s porch. 

She has just returned home, exhausted and frustrated by a long day of boring classes, the mountain of homework is already waiting for her, and Gabi allows herself only a small break that she spends making a giant cup of coffee. 

She’s standing by the window, waiting for the kettle to boil, when she spots him – a short, black-haired man that lurks around her porch.

The annoyance sparks inside her immediately, fatigue turning it much brighter. Forgetting about essays, hundreds of pages she has to shift through and a boiling kettle, Gabi stomps out of her house and towards the stranger. 

“Hey! Do you need something?” she demands in a voice that’s made rougher by the man’s apparent shamefulness. Even caught red-handed, he doesn’t think to get off her private property, or, at the very least, apologize. 

What’s more, he doesn’t bestow Gabi with as much as a look, a row of sunflowers a focal point of his view. He reaches out towards petals, with a touch that is careful enough to be considered reverent, and when he speaks up, it’s with a softness that knocks the air out of Gabi’s lungs. 

“It’s their birthday today, how could I forget? I didn’t even buy them flowers…” 

Who he talks to, Gabi doesn’t quite understand. There is no one but her on the street, but— the way that man talks makes her feel as though she’s intruding on something incredibly personal. 

“Sir?” she asks carefully, her anger all but blotted out. “Are you—”

“Oh.” The man looks up, sharply, as though only now he notices her presence. He appears surprised, almost lost, and Gabi’s heart clenches with sympathy, when she sees long lines of scars that cover the right side of his face. “Forgive me,” the man says, in a voice much, much rougher that the one Gabi heard at first. “I didn’t mean to… intrude. I’ll leave now, sorry again.” 

“Wait!” Gabi reaches out for him, before she even thinks that action through. Her fingers clutch on the fabric of his coat, and when the man turns back, she offers him a kind, comforting smile. “You liked the flowers, right? You can have them, just wait a second, I’ll go get my scissors.” 

“No, that’s not what I—” the man tries to protest, and it just further strengthens her resolve. 

“Just stay here,” Gabi implores, before she runs back into the house. She rushes to the kitchen, almost trips in her haste to turn off the kettle and nearly breaks a drawer as she frantically searches for the scissors. She races back outside, as soon as her fingers wrap around the shiny metal. Thankfully, the man is still there, standing by her porch, although now he looks ten times more uncomfortable. 

“Listen,” he begins, when Gabi appears in his line of view again. “Thank you, really, but I don’t—”

“Hush,” she cuts him off, her mind already on a sole mission of finding the prettiest, most gorgeous sunflowers. Out of the whole row of them, she picks five that look absolutely fantastic, with flowers almost as big as her own head, and, with immense pride that blooms inside her chest, she hands them to the man. “There,” she smiles once again. “Pass my congratulations, please.” 

“I…” the man swallows, his eyes drop to the flowers in his hands, and his gaze is so heavy that Gabi starts to feel like she had said something very, very wrong. But where exactly she took a wrong step, the man doesn’t tell her. He clears his throat, murmuring a quiet, “I will. Thank you.” 

And then, before Gabi can find her voice, he is gone. The only evidence that this interaction wasn’t a product of her exhausted mind is five plucked sunflowers in her garden, and a hollow feeling in her chest. 

A week goes by, a long, grueling week, filled with lectures, homework, sleepless nights and cups of coffee. Gabi is, as always, busy, but in the rare moments when her mind gets a chance to rest, it wanders back to that mysterious man and a bouquet of sunflowers. The enigma surrounding him captivates Gabi, she yearns to know more, and by the end of the week, after her outing with Falco, Udo and Zofia, she receives a chance to satisfy her curiosity. 

She’s just approaching the crossroad near her house, when she spots him – walking on the other side of the road. The warm glow of autumn afternoon sun casts shadows on his face, makes his figure seem somewhat unearthly, and, perhaps, Gabi is a bit tipsier after a couple of cocktails she shared with Zofia than she initially thought, but she doesn’t hesitate at all, before she calls out to him. 

The man turns around, and Gabi runs to him, with lips already curved into a friendly smile. Her haste, however, bites her in the ass, as soon as she reaches the man. With no clue as to how to start the conversation, she shifts her weight from one foot to another for a moment, before she awkwardly mumbles, “Um, we’ve met last week? Remember when…” 

The man lifts a hand, cutting her off before her rambling can start in earnest, “When I walked onto your property?”

“Well, yeah…” Gabi’s embarrassment continues to grow, but she pushes through, willing herself to look into the man’s eyes and carry on, “So I was thinking—”

“What?” he interrupts her once again, rather roughly. Gabi blinks, studying him more intently, and notes that today the man appears to be far more composed. His gray eyes are sharp and focused, lacking the mist of confusion that was so transparent during their first meeting. His voice is so very different too – that softness, that gentle edge that mesmerized her so is completely absent. 

It almost seems that this man before her is not the same one that she met a week ago. But it is him, Gabi’s sure, he has the same scars, he is wearing the same coat that he did a week ago. Besides, he also knows her, and he did stop to talk with her. So, Gabi decides to push a little further. 

“I was thinking if you would like to keep me company. And drink a cup of tea at my place.” 

The man looks her up, then down and then scrunches up his nose. “Kid, I’m old enough to be your father.” 

“What!” Gabi screeches, her face catching fire instantly. She waves her hands frantically, shaking her head along with them. “No, no! You misunderstand! I didn’t want to— eugh. You are old.” She pauses, takes a deep breath, calms down a little and continues, “And I’m simply bored. I have just walked my friends to their homes, I don’t have anything particularly interesting to do at home, and…” 

“And?” 

“And you look like you don’t have much to do either.” 

The man huffs and raises a brow. “And why you think so?” 

Because you seem lonely , Gabi almost answers. But at the last moment she decides not to, not wishing to disturb her new acquaintance. Instead, she grins at him and says, “Because you’ve been standing here and talking with me for almost five minutes?” 

The man rolls his eyes and sighs so heavily that it makes Gabi chuckle. “Smartass,” he mumbles, before adding, “Lead the way then.” 

“You won’t regret it!” she winks at him, then spins around and starts walking. “I’m Gabi, by the way.” 

“Levi,” comes the man’s reply, as he falls into step with her. His step is far more sedate than Gabi’s, though, and with every step he takes, the grip he keeps on his cane becomes tighter. Gabi takes note of that, mentally berates herself for that, and slows down considerably. Levi notices, grunts something that resembles a curse, but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he says, “Kid.” 

“Yeah?” 

“The tea better be worth it.” 

Gabi smiles, and declares confidently, “I’ll make you the best tea you ever had.” 

Her confidence goes out in a puff the moment Gabi opens one of her kitchen’s cupboards. She finds several brands of coffee there, a can of cocoa, a few packs of instant hot chocolate, and— no sign of tea. 

She mutters a curse, then turns around, flashes Levi an awkward smile. “Would you like a cup of coffee? Or hot chocolate, perhaps?” 

“No,” is all that Levi replies. Gabi sighs and rises to her tiptoes, searching through the cupboard once again, more thoroughly this time. Her efforts are awarded – in the very back she finds a small box with a couple of tea bags. It’s nothing fancy, and probably has been gathering dust for a couple of years now, but, at least, it smells good, if a little stale. Besides, Gabi reasons, tea must be similar to wine – the older it is, the better does it taste. 

She brews two cups, hands one to Levi and takes a seat beside him, anxiously awaiting his reaction. Levi stares at her for a moment, then lifts the cup, holding it by its rim. It certainly is strange, but Gabi doesn’t comment – for now, too worried still about Levi’s verdict. At last, he puts a cup to his mouth, takes one tentative sip, savors it for a few moments, lowers the cup back to the table, and then—

“It’s awful,” he announces. “Probably one of the worst teas I’ve ever had.” 

“Oh… Sorry, I can make another one for you.” Gabi raises, meaning to take the cup away, only for Levi to move it out of her reach. 

“Tea is tea, even if it’s shitty,” he says in a deadpan voice that Gabi starts to realize is actually his usual one. “Wasting it is stupid.” 

“Um, so…”

“So, sit back down, drink your shitty tea and keep me company.” 

Gabi does sit down, feeling utterly bemused. Levi’s certainly not a very nice man, he’s not even polite, but… he’s peculiar and unbelievably amusing. Gabi’s desire to get to know him better heightens further. 

Sipping on the tea that does taste a little moldy, she searches for a topic of conversation. She wants to know so much – whose birthday did Levi forget, where did he get those scars, and why had he looked so sad the other day, but— she also doesn’t want to make Levi uncomfortable. 

Something’s haunting him, some terrible misfortune of his past, and no matter how much she wishes to know more, she has no right to poke her nose into it. For now, at least. 

She doesn’t know him at all, and to change that, well— for starters, she should start a conversation, something simple, trivial even and— 

“Thank you,” Levi says, derailing her train of thought. “For the flowers. They haven’t wilted yet.” 

“Oh. I’m, um, glad to hear that. You’re welcome.” 

“They’re really bright too. Liven up the whole place. Looking at them, it’s hard to believe they come from such shitty garden.” 

“Excuse me?” the smile that was already curving on Gabi’s lips, slips. Her jaw clenches, as do her fists. “My garden is not shitty!” 

“Yes, it is. There are more weeds than actual plants or flowers there. The garden is practically rotting.”

Levi is technically true, Gabi can’t exactly argue with that, but his words still prick her. She pouts, shifting her gaze from him in shame. She knows that the garden isn’t in its best condition, but… it’s her and Reiner’s garden, and even if she doesn’t look after it, she continues to care about memories it brought her. 

“Didn’t know you are a master gardener,” she tells Levi, after washing down the lump in her throat with bitter tea. “But either way, I didn’t ask for your opinion.” 

“I…” Levi frowns, puts the cup down. “Wait, that's not— I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t mean to criticize, I just wanted to… offer my help.” 

“Help?” 

“I’m not a master gardener,” he says. “But… I knew one,” he says, a shadow passing through his features. It is dark, so heavy, and it forces him to revise his words. “I do know one. They are… still around.”

“Can’t you ask them to help us out?” Gabi asks, and instantly regrets ever opening her mouth. Another shadow appears, this one much gloomier. It puts a scary scowl on Levi’s face, it forces him to tighten his hands around the cup until his knuckles grow white. 

“They are… not available right now,” he chooses his words carefully, Gabi can’t help but take note of that. But even so, each one seems to bring him immense amounts of pain. “But I watched them work often enough that I think I can manage your garden just fine.” 

Who are they, Gabi wants to ask. Where are they, she wants to know. What have they done to him that hurt him so? Why did they leave him all alone? Are they ever going to come back? 

There are so many questions, so many mysteries surrounding Levi, Gabi desperately wants to untangle each and every one, but— she knows she can’t. She can’t do that to Levi, can’t force him to talk about someone, whose mere mention brings him so much pain. He’ll tell her about it himself, if ever wants to, if she manages to earn his trust. Until then— she’s happy to just be a friend of his. 

“I don’t have much,” she admits, “in terms of tools and stuff. I have a shovel, and a couple of rakes, I think, but…” 

“Show me what you’ve got. I wasn’t going to do any work today anyway.” 

“Eh? Why not?” 

Levi looks Gabi in the eyes pointedly, then gestures at his outfit. “I’m in my good clothes. And I’m not going to dirty them with soil.” 

“Oh… so you like to be clean and proper, eh?” she teases, with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

“I don’t like resembling a pig. Now let’s take a look at your tools, kid.” 

Gabi hurries to get to her feet, almost trips in her haste to do so, catching herself only at the very last moment. Levi holds the cup that nearly got spilled, because of her carelessness, and watches her, hints of amusement coloring the hard lines of his face. 

“The tools…” Gabi starts, cringing at how weak and awkward her own voice sounds. “They’re in a shack behind the garden.” 

Levi nods, finishes his tea and raises too, quick and graceful, despite heavily relying on his cane. The fluidity of his movements puts Gabi’s own to shame. 

She leads him out of the house and through the garden to the old wooden shack. Like everything around her house, it definitely has seen much better days. 

Mentally berating herself for the sorry state of her own home, Gabi opens the door to the shack, letting Levi in and showing him what’s stored inside. 

He enters silently, just as silently he studies the contents of it. His face, just as the rest of his body language, is unreadable, further heightening the levels of her worry. Then, when Gabi’s nerves and patience are on the verge of colliding into an explosion of vexation, Levi turns around, declaring, “I expected worse.” 

Gabi exhales with relief. She’s not a complete failure, then. Good. At least, she managed to not throw out the tools that Reiner had left in her care.

“I still have to bring a few things from my place, but… not nearly as much as I thought.” 

“Great! So… I have a day off tomorrow, and if you’re free as well…” 

Levi nods. “I have to… take care of something in the morning, but I can come to you in the afternoon.” 

“Excellent!” Gabi clasps her hands together, not caring if she sounds way too eager. Levi doesn’t seem to mind as well, after all. “I’ll make lunch for us then!” 

“And I’ll bring decent tea,” Levi agrees.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?” Gabi asks with too much hope and nearly not enough bravado she’s so famous for. 

“Yeah, until tomorrow.” 

Giddy beyond compare, Gabi smiles, the mere prospect of acquiring a new friend turns her dizzy with delight. With that same cheerful smile plastered on her face, she walks Levi to the crossroad near her house. She watches him go, his each step slower than the previous one, his grip on a cane stronger with each small move, and when he’s gone, Gabi is left alone, filled up to the brim with anticipation of what curious interactions with her new acquaintance will tomorrow bring.

When the next morning rolls around, Gabi wakes up early. She feels like a kid on a Christmas morning – anticipation mixing up with joy. 

She takes a shower, washes her hair, does a bit of reading for her classes, and then the clock shows nearly twelve and it means that the time has almost come. She wanders to the kitchen, starts making sandwiches for lunch. She doesn’t know what her new friend prefers, what he eats and what he doesn’t, so she makes a couple with bacon, a couple with fish, and then some with tomatoes and salad. 

In the end, she prepares more than five people can possibly eat, but, maybe, that’d be hungry after working in the garden. If not— she can always pack the sandwiches and give them to her friends. 

She just finishes the preparations, when the doorbell rings. Gabi wipes her hands on a towel and rushes to the front door. 

Levi stands on the other side of it, in what Gabi began to think of as his usual outfit – black coat and dark jeans with white sweater. He holds several packages in his left hand, one of them – he hands over to Gabi. 

“Brew it carefully,” he instructs, in lieu of greeting. “And don’t add sugar – it’ll ruin the taste.” 

“Obviously,” Gabi answers, barely stifling out the laughter that threatens to bubble out of her chest. “Come in, make yourself at home. Did you br—”

Levi nods before she can even finish. “Yes. Where’s the bathroom?” 

Gabi points him to the door at the end of the hallway, and goes back to the kitchen, waiting for Levi to finish whatever that he’s doing.

He comes out several minutes later – clad not in jeans, sweater and coat anymore, but sweatpants and a T-shirt. He’s also wearing something else – a white cloth over his hair. At the sight of it, Gabi nearly doubles down with laughter. 

“I don’t want dirt all over me,” he explains, not fazed by her reaction. He comes to sit next to her at the table, rests his cane by the chair, and finishes his preparations – he takes the wedding ring off his finger. Gabi watches intently, curious but too anxious to voice it out. 

Levi treats the ring with such delicacy and care, it starts reminding Gabi of veneration. The ring itself is in good condition, but it isn’t shiny, it’s not new then, Gabi deduces. But Levi takes good care of it, makes sure that it doesn’t get dirt on it or worse – gets lost in the soil. 

He must love his spouse very much, must be treating them even better than his wedding ring. Why is he so sad then? Why looks so lonely? Does his spouse not care about him? Don’t they love him just as much as he loves them? Are they—

Oh. 

Gabi’s eyes prickle, whatever anger she began to fill with dissipates, turns to sadness. As she watches Levi take the ring off and add it to another one that hangs off the chain around his neck, her eyes fill with tears. 

That’s why he’s so lonely, looks so sad, so lost. Another half of him, one that he loves and needs so is no longer there. Is no longer with him. 

Gabi is at a loss for words. She searches for them, desperately, she tries to find something to say, some gentle, soothing words. Words of sympathy. Of hope. She can find none, however. 

And as she looks at Levi, watches him perform this small, but extremely meaningful act, she feels what she had felt during their first meeting. 

She feels like an intruder, who pokes her nose into something intimate and sacred. 

Levi hands her rakes and a pair of scissors, and asks what she’d like to start with – arranging the mess of fallen leaves into neat piles or cutting off the dry branches of the many-many bushes that stand on each side of her house. 

The choice is simple, really, Gabi has never been particularly good with making anything look pretty, but she’s always had a talent for destroying things. She appreciates that Levi has given her a choice, however. Not just ordered to mindlessly perform some task, but made her an active participant. Showed his respect for her. 

In all truth, it makes her feel good. Important. Makes her feel like she’s not just a dumb kid, who can’t even tend to her own garden, but something more, someone worthy. Of respect and trust.  

Levi doesn’t look like a man who gives either freely, so, as she sets on chop-chop-chopping off the flowers that have seen their prime a long, long time ago, she does so with a smile. Levi retreats to the corner of the garden that he chose as his, and too begins to work, pulling out overgrown weeds and clearing the soil. 

They work in peace, in a silence that Gabi isn’t particularly used to, but now finds comforting, soothing. The two of them make up a decent enough team, she thinks, even despite their many-many differences and her apparent inability to stop sneaking glances at Levi every other minute and remembering the look that was on his face, as he was taking off the wedding ring. 

She can’t quite decide how to breach that subject. Should she even breach it? Levi hasn’t said a word to her about it, after all, even if his eyes spoke volumes. Perhaps, he doesn’t want to talk about it, especially with a noisy girl he met just a week ago. Perhaps, he wishes to forget, and Gabi’s untactful questions would only worsen his emotional state. 

Although… Levi doesn’t seem like he wants or even can forget about his loved one. It doesn’t sound particularly healthy, but then again, what does Gabi know about loss? She has never lost someone so dear to her, she didn’t lose anyone at all, if you don’t count a couple of estranged friends from high school that she drifted apart with after graduating. She never loved as well, not in the way Levi does. She loves her parents, friends and cousin Reiner dearly, but that glorious sensation of knowing another person inside out, of finding that you belong with them, of feeling like they’re the only home you’ll ever want… Gabi has never known that, at least, she thinks she doesn’t.

She also doesn’t know what she would feel, if that bliss was taken away from her. Miserable, enraged, devastated? All of it at the same time? Gabi prays to never know the answer. And she prays for Levi to find some reprieve from his grief. She doesn’t know for how long he’s been dealing with this feeling – weeks, months, or even years? But she prays that his pain will subside, dull just a little bit, if it can’t be erased completely. 

She’s determined to do anything to make that happen, to help in what little ways she can. 

“Oi!” Gabi is pulled out of her thoughts and back into reality by Levi’s rough disgruntled voice. 

“Eh? What?” she calls back, unsure if Levi has asked something that she’d missed or if something else is the matter. 

“You’re staring.”

Is she? Gabi didn’t even notice. Either way, she makes a point of turning around, fixing her gaze on a bush in front of her. 

“I was not,” she mumbles, as heat spreads from her neck to cover up her face. 

“You were. What’s so interesting about my face? Do I have dirt on it?”

“No, no! You have a… regular face. A completely normal one.” 

“Really?” Levi narrows his eyes and looks up at her with something that almost resembles a grin. “So you’re not at all curious about my scars?” 

“Well…” Gabi trails off, unsure of what answer is the correct one. Of course, she’s curious – so, so much. Levi’s scars look fresh, not wholly healed, and their origin might just reveal one of the main clues to solving his enigma, but… what if it is somehow related to the pool of sadness that resides inside his eyes? What if by being her usual boisterous, overbearing self she’ll force Levi to relive the painful memory and hurt him in the process?   

Most of all, she doesn’t want to make him sadder than he already is. 

“Alright, if you don’t want to know…” 

“Wait!” changing her mind in an instant, Gabi abandons her scissors and comes to stand above Levi. He offered to tell her himself, did he not? She’d be a fool to let this opportunity go to waste. “I am curious, you got me. So… how did you get them?” 

“Rule number one of being an adult, kid – never drive while laughing.” 

“What?” Gabi has expected about a dozen different answers – Levi getting injured in a fight with gangsters, him falling off a building while trying to protect someone’s life, him rushing in a burning house to save a kitten, but that… That is not even an answer. It offers no clue, not even a hint of explanation, only thickens the aura of mystery around Levi. Gabi stares down at him, fists clenching tightly against her will. “You didn’t answer my question!” 

“Didn’t I?” Levi lifts his brows, and now Gabi is almost certain – he is smirking, laughing at her. “Well, tell me something, kid, have you seen the movie, Constipated?”

She did not think it was possible, but her confusion – grows that much stronger. She gives Levi a meek, “No…”, hoping that now he’d finally explain everything to her. 

That doesn’t seem to be the plan, however, because he answers, “Of course, you haven’t. It hasn’t come out yet.” 

And then— the strangest thing happens: Levi’s face scrunches up, like he’s trying to hold in a laugh. A quiet chuckle still escapes him, and in that single moment – he looks happier than Gabi thought she’d ever see. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs and, seemingly unconsciously, his thumb and forefinger wrap around his ring one, rubbing at the place where his ring was. “It’s an old joke. An inside one too.” 

“It’s funny,” Gabi offers, even though she doesn’t really think so. She doesn’t know what to think at all, bewildered and confused as she is. 

“Has anyone told you that you’re a terrible liar?” 

“Has anyone told you that you have a terrible sense of humor?” Gabi quickly retaliates, forcing a huff out of Levi that almost sounds fond. 

“Some have,” is all he says, before returning to dealing with weeds. 

Gabi is having none of it, however. She forced one answer out of Levi, and it gave her nothing. And that just means – she has to try harder. 

“So…” she stands unmoving over him, trying to look as imposing as it is possible, considering that her outfit consists of her mother’s old jeans and oversized T-shirt that almost reaches to her knees. She thinks of what she can get out of Levi next, what tricky question to ask, but time moves on, and after a lengthy pause, all she can muster is, “What do you do for a living?” 

Levi turns back to face her, tilts his head to get a better look. “What do you think I do for a living?” 

Gabi curses, feeling like she could very well start tearing her own hair out in frustration. Who knew that a sad man she met a week ago would turn out to be such… such a little shit? 

“Do I have to guess? Really?” 

In face of her annoyance, Levi simply shrugs. “It’s more fun this way, no?” 

No, it definitely isn’t. There are… so many things that Levi could be. Gabi can equally easily imagine him being a teacher, or a fire-fighter, or an artist, or a private detective of some sort, or a simple office worker. Of course, Gabi likes the idea of a private detective best, Levi certainly has the same mysterious air around him, but… she worries that if she gives Levi that answer, he’ll never let her live that down. 

“I don’t know,” she sighs, hangs her head in defeat, and gives Levi the safest, most boring answer. “Some kind of manager?” 

“God, no. I’m a janitor.” 

What? Gabi’s eyes snap open wide, she stares at Levi with a mix of shock and doubt, but… it doesn’t look like he’s joking. 

“Janitor?” she breathes out, still failing to process. Not an artist, not a firefighter, not even a private detective, but… a janitor? She feels a little disappointed. 

“I work in a nearby school. The brats are a bit rowdy, but you learn how to deal with them over time. Besides, it pays bills just like any other job, and doesn’t make me go crazy with stress. And what about you?” 

Gabi has half a mind to tell him to guess the answer, but… Levi probably knows it already. 

“I’m still in college.” 

“Hm. And what are you studying?” 

“This and that,” Gabi gestures vaguely. “I haven’t really decided yet.” 

“Well…” Levi draws out, looking pointedly at the garden around them. “I think you can already rule the florist out.” 

Gabi chuckles, not offended in the slightest. She can’t exactly argue with him on that, after all. The damning evidence is right before their eyes. 

She picks up the scissors and returns to the forgotten task. They continue working side by side, in a silence that is unusual, but surprisingly enjoyable to Gabi.

By the time they finish, the garden is nearly unrecognizable. Where once ruled waste and devastation, now stand neat rows of flowers and walls of trimmed bushes. Gabi is beyond grateful to Levi for the work he’s done, and a little proud of herself as well. She snaps a picture of a reborn garden and sends it to Reiner, eager to hear what he has to say about it. 

She also gathers a bit of cornflowers and arranges them into two gorgeous bouquets. One she puts on a windowsill in her kitchen, and another one – she thrusts into Levi’s hands. 

“For you,” she says, just the tiniest bit awkward. “Or for whoever you wish to gift them to.” 

“Erm… thank you,” Levi accepts the flowers without protest, although he does appear to be a bit flustered. “They’re pretty.” 

“All thanks to you,” Gabi winks cheekily at him. “You really breathed a new life into that place. Oh, and about that…” the urge to fidget suddenly gets nearly unbearable. Gabi hides hands behind her back to conceal that fact from Levi. She knows now that he is not nearly as scary as he looks, but what she intends to ask him… might still be misunderstood by him. “Well, I’m planning a little party to show off the garden to my friends, and I was thinking… Well, I was thinking that you might want to come as well?” 

“And why would I want to do that?” 

“Well,” Gabi pouts, feeling the treacherous blush appear again. “It’s your accomplishment, after all. And, besides… I’d like to introduce my friends to you.” 

Levi raises an eyebrow, looking like skepticism incarnate. “Won’t they find me boring?” 

Gabi smiles. “You are many things, Levi, but boring is definitely not one of them.” 

“Brat,” Levi huffs, shaking his head. “Fine, I’ll come. But if they find me boring, that’s on you. And I’m expecting some nice tea. I won’t be drinking that piss again.” 

“Aye, aye, Captain!” Gabi laughs, as she salutes him. “I’ll get you the best you’ve ever tasted!” 

“We’ll see about that,” Levi says, his eyes alight with amusement, even though his face still remains set in a frown. 

“Till next Sunday then?” 

“Till next Sunday,” he agrees, as he prepares to leave. 

Gabi waves at him from the porch, the smile on her face so wide her cheeks begin to hurt. 

Reiner calls her the very same evening and spends nearly half an hour gushing about changes she made to their garden. When Gabi mentions that she had help, however, Reiner goes quiet for a moment, then warns her of the dangers of talking to and letting the men she doesn’t know inside her house. At that, Gabi grows defensive. Levi is not just some shady man she has met in a dark alley, he’s her friend, and spending time with him brings her pleasure. 

Besides, Reiner is surely the one to talk. Some of his new coworkers that he tells her about, especially that guy Porco that he talks so much about, is a hundred times creepier than Levi could ever dream of being. 

From the way Reiner speaks of that guy, Gabi isn’t even sure what their relationship is like. Does that guy want to punch or kiss her cousin? Both at the same time? Gabi is certain of one thing, however. If the former ever appears to be true, a whole ocean that separates them won’t be enough of an obstacle to stop her from finding that guy and letting her fist meet with his face. 

Reiner laughs, when she says so to him, and promises to warn Porco that if he ever dares to hurt him, a college student from across the ocean will turn up at his doorstep to beat the shit out of him. 

He hangs up soon after that, telling her that he’s meeting up with a friend, another one, who goes by the name Berthold, and is so much nicer than Porco and definitely doesn’t want to punch Reiner. He says nothing about never kissing him, which is oh so interesting. Gabi makes sure to call Reiner again soon and get more information about that Berthold out of him. 

The next week passes slowly, nearly uneventfully. Gabi spends the better part of it in anticipation of the upcoming party. On the evening of Saturday that anticipation turns into anxiety that she can’t get rid of until Sunday morning comes. 

She wakes up early then, cleans her house twice, which is two times more than her usual routine, and after that she busies herself with gathering what little flowers have survived the onslaught of first autumn colds. She makes a bouquet for each of her friends, reserving the biggest one, of course, for Levi. 

She doesn’t forget her promise of providing him with good tea as well, and to accomplish that, she consults Reiner, Falco and her mother, before buying the one she thinks (hopes) Levi would like the best. 

Falco is the first one who shows up. He brings some pastries and then helps Gabi put them all out on a table. Zofia and Udo come soon after, each of them bearing gifts as well. When the clock is ready to strike twelve, Levi knocks on her door. 

Gabi runs to open it, greets Levi with a smile and with an even bigger smile she accepts the pie that he had brought. Apparently, it’s homemade, baked by Levi himself, and it smells so good that Gabi is a bit reluctant to share it with her friends. 

She waits until he takes off his shoes and coat, and leads him to the kitchen, where her friends are already eagerly awaiting him, curious to meet Gabi’s enigmatic new friend. 

Gabi introduces them to him one by one, and Levi nods and shakes their hands. When his eyes land on Udo, though, he freezes and stares at him for a long, long time, his mouth open slightly in surprise. 

“Um, sir?” Udo shifts his weight from one foot to another, startled and more than a little unnerved. Everyone in the room feels the same, and no one is more worried than Gabi. 

She doesn’t know what had provoked it, but that look in Levi’s eyes… it is familiar to her. It’s the look that appears whenever Levi is thinking about his lost lover. 

“Kid…” Levi’s voice sounds rough, as though he forces the words out of his mouth. “How… how old are you?”

“I— I’m nineteen, sir,” Udo answers, sharing a panicked look with Gabi. 

“Nineteen…” Levi murmurs, still seeming lost. Still appearing overwhelmed by whatever feelings Udo’s face has provoked in him. “You could have been… I’m sorry,” suddenly, he shakes himself, and the dazed, glassy look is gone. “You just reminded me of someone. Of someone I now realize I wish I could have met.” 

Of whom, Gabi wants to ask. But then she remembers,

“I’m old enough to be your dad, kid.”

Levi had said that Udo reminded him of someone, could it be… that Udo reminded him of his lost love? 

She never asked Levi if he has any kids, but if he had any, he probably would have told her at least something about them. And he wouldn’t look so sad and lonely. 

What is he thinking about, Gabi wonders. Did he imagine, albeit briefly, a different version of his life? A life, where his love is alive and they raise a son together? How does he feel, knowing that this possibility is well beyond his reach now? 

Gabi’s heart breaks just thinking about it, she can’t possibly fathom what Levi feels right now. 

She feels stupid too, like an utter idiot. She thought this party was a great idea, she wanted to lift Levi’s spirits, but now… she made him feel even worse. 

“Sorry,” Levi says again, more in control now. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He takes a step back from Uno, his composure fully returned by now, but he looks so ashamed, so uncomfortable that Gabi simply can’t take it. She has made a terrible mistake, that’s true, and now it is her duty to do something, anything , to rectify it. Unfortunately, she doesn’t really know how, but… the least she can do is try, right? 

“I made you tea!” she announces in a voice so shrill it makes even her cringe a little. She doesn’t let it deter her, though, and so she swiftly lifts a steaming cup up from the table, all but thrusting it in Levi’s hands. Some of the tea splashes, as he struggles to not let the cup fall down, dropping his cane in the process. Thankfully, before more disasters occur in her kitchen, Falco comes to the rescue - he carefully takes the cup from Levi’s hands, handing him his cane in return with a soft smile on his face. 

“Sorry about our Gabi,” Zofia says, throwing an arm around Gabi’s shoulders. Gabi is so mortified she doesn’t even get angry or try to shake her friend off.  “She’s a bit of an idiot.” 

“An extremely clumsy one too,” Levi agrees with a barely audible ‘tsk’. 

Gabi feels some tension leave her shoulders at Levi’s easy dismissal, and she exhales in relief, when everyone in the room starts laughing at his dry remark. 

The tension seems to break entirely, the awkward accident all but forgotten, as Gabi ushers all of them to take their seats, and raises the first toast to her once again blooming garden and to a man, who made it happen. 

The conversation flows easily after that, as Gabi’s friends feed Levi one funny story about her after another. And while Levi himself doesn’t participate, only nodding and occasionally offering a snide comment or two, he is relaxed and even seems content. 

It’s a quiet, pleasant afternoon in the company of friends, and Gabi enjoys every moment of it. 

On Monday, just minutes before the beginning of their next class, Udo approaches Gabi, taking her aside from their group of friends. 

“I wanted to speak with you about… um, about yesterday’s accident,” he begins quietly, wince prominent on his round face. Gabi tenses, his apparent unease affecting her as well. She doesn’t brush him off, however, doesn’t send him away with some weak excuse or lame joke. She’s intent on listening to him, her expression serious, and, just in case, she gets ready to defend Levi from him too. “You know, when I first heard that you were hanging out with some old man, I thought you'd gone completely cuckoo. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still fucking crazy, but…” he pauses, wringing his hands anxiously, before he finally looks up and meets her eyes. “After yesterday, I can sort of understand why you’re doing this. That guy, Levi… did he lose someone?” 

“His spouse, from what I’ve gathered. He…” Gabi sighs, shrugging helplessly. “He didn’t tell me about it, though. He’s not exactly talkative.” 

“You think I reminded him of them?”

“I guess,” Gabi answers, deciding to not go into overcomplicated details of an explanation that probably exists only in her head. 

“Oh, well… that’s sad. But it’s good that he has you to cheer him up. You’re doing the right thing, Gabi.” 

She knows she does, is even a little proud of it, but at the same time – she wishes she knew how to do that right thing a little more effectively. 

A whole week has Gabi trapped in a blur of boring lectures and tedious home assignments. She doesn’t hear from Levi even once during this time, although— it doesn’t mean that she stops thinking about him, wondering what and how he’s doing. 

Her friends don’t let her forget as well, asking about him and telling her to say hi from them. Gabi accepts their wishes with a grateful smile, glad to have support from her friends, but… with no word from Levi, she grows a little anxious, curses herself for never asking for his phone number and not knowing where he lives. 

He must be busy with something, she tries to reason, he’s an adult, after all, he has a job, but… her heart never yielded before logic and this time is no exception. 

Her worry reaches an all-time high during the weekend, and hard as she tries to fight it off by dedicating herself to her studies, her mind just isn’t in the right place for it. 

She finds reprieve in tending to the garden, though, and that’s what she has been doing since early hours of Sunday morning. It’s close to midday already, when her peace and quiet is interrupted, by a sound she knows too well by now. The sound of Levi’s cane knocking against the ground. 

She jumps to her feet right that instant, turning around to greet him with a smile already curled up on her lips. 

That smile subdues, however, nearly vanishing when she takes a better look at Levi. 

His usually pale face seems that much whiter, nearly ashen, highlighting the dark circles around his eyes that now appear almost black. His posture is different too, his shoulders are slumped and his grip on a cane is as tight as ever. It seems to be the only thing that helps him remain upright. 

Levi looks utterly exhausted, and at the same time, deeply troubled. Whatever he’s been busy with this week, it most definitely wasn’t very pleasant. 

Gabi doesn’t ask what happened, by now, she knows that it’s most probably futile, so she resolves to help in the only way she can. 

She drops the little shovel she had been working with to the ground, wipes her hands on the front of her shirt and lets Levi inside, setting a path straight to the kitchen. She starts the kettle as soon as she steps inside, waits for Levi to join her, and when he arrives, she gives him the only thing she can – a cup of tea and a kind smile. 

“Sorry for just barging in,” he says, driving the smile off Gabi’s face. “I understand if the time isn’t right and you’re busy—”

“Nonsense!” Gabi cuts him off immediately, not wanting to even hear such foolishness. She also very pointedly ignores the mountain of homework that peeks from behind her shoulder. “I always have time for a friend!” 

“Oh then…” Levi falls silent for a moment, casting his head down and starting to absentmindedly play with his wedding ring. “How do you feel about going on a little trip?”

“Where to?” 

“I… I want to introduce someone to you. I talk about you sometimes, and, surely, they’re already curious. So, if you want…” 

“Of course!” Gabi doesn’t hesitate with her answer even for a bit, flashing Levi a bright smile to hide the nervousness she actually feels. Very acutely. If Levi wants her to meet who Gabi thinks he wants to… well, that certainly won’t be an easy trip.  But if that’s what he really wants to do, if he trusts her enough to ask her to accompany him, how can Gabi possibly say no? 

“Give me a moment to change my clothes. Enjoy some tea in the meanwhile!” 

Levi looks like he wants to say no, but Gabi puts a cup in front of him before he can utter even the beginnings of a protest. She doesn’t take her eyes off him, until he gives in and lifts the cup up to his mouth. Only then Gabi can somewhat relax. She would have felt a lot better if she also got him something to eat – Levi doesn’t simply look exhausted, but a lot thinner too, compared to the last she had seen him. It seems like during the entire week, he didn’t eat or even sleep much. His state worries Gabi, and continues to do so as she takes off her dirty clothes and puts on much clearer, even ironed ones. 

Levi is finishing the cup of tea just as she comes back. He gulps the remnants of it in one go, and stands up, heading to the exit without another word. 

Just as silently, Gabi follows after him. 

“You don’t mind if we take the subway?” Levi asks, as they begin to walk down the street. “I don’t trust cars much these days.” 

“Of course,” Gabi answers in a voice that sounds too soft to her own ears, nearly resembling a murmur. 

They spend the rest of the way in the same heavy silence. Gabi tries to start a conversation, of course, she tells Levi that her friends were asking after him, she monologues about strict college professors for a bit, but all of her attempts are either met with hums and nods from Levi, or get straight-up ignored. 

It feels like he’s a thousand miles away from her, his gaze is distant, glassy, face blank and detached. Whatever he’s thinking so hard about, Gabi doesn’t dare to ask. 

He only seems to regain his senses when the train arrives at their stop. Levi puts a soft hand on her arm, gestures for her to stand up and follow after him. 

To her immense surprise, Levi doesn’t lead her out to the graveyard, instead – they stop at the entrance of a hospital. 

Curious, and a bit hopeful, Gabi walks inside the elevator after Levi. It takes them to the eighth floor, and from it they take a turn to the left, arriving at the entrance of the Intensive Care Unit. 

A nurse meets them at the door, hands each of them an isolation gown, shoe covers and a mask, then points to a corner where they can use hand sanitizers. The nurse appears familiar enough with Levi, she nods at him as he enters, and the look she gives him is full of pity. 

“Mr. Ackerman,” she calls just as Levi starts walking again. “The doctor wants to speak with you. Urgently. Mr. Smith has already talked with him.” 

“Of course,” Levi scoffs, the sound slightly muffled by the fabric of a mask, but not enough to conceal his irritation. “I’ll see him in a minute.” 

He resumes his walking without waiting for the nurse’s reply. 

His steps are sure and quick, he must have walked through this corridor a dozen times before. Gabi can barely keep up with him, so busy gawking at their surroundings as she is. 

She has been to a hospital only two times in her life – first with Reiner, when he had his first wisdom tooth pulled out, and the second, visiting Zofia, after she fell off a bike and broke her leg. 

But the atmosphere here, in the Intensive Care Unit, is a lot… different from Gabi’s first two visits. Back there, the hallways were noisy, crowds of people waiting in seemingly endless queues, cursing or crying out in pain. Gabi thought that those places were unnerving, but here, there are no running nurses or crying children. It’s quiet here, the hallway they walk through is nearly empty, except for a couple of staff members, who watch Levi move with pity and judgment clear in their eyes. The atmosphere here is not just unnerving, it’s depressing . Walking through the unit feels a bit too much like walking through the graveyard. 

When they arrive at the door of the needed ward, they find a man standing here. Tall, blond and just a little less exhausted than Levi, he doesn’t spare Gabi more than a glance, before he turns his full attention on Levi. 

“We need to talk,” is all he says, as he pulls Levi aside. 

“Wait here,” Levi instructs Gabi, just as he follows after that man. 

Gabi sits down on a plastic bench just outside the ward with full intention of following through with his request. But Levi and his friend don’t walk far away enough, and they don’t exactly try to keep their voices down as they begin to settle whatever argument they’re having. Even without actively trying to eavesdrop, Gabi still can hear a good portion of their conversation. 

She hears Levi hiss out, “This is not your fucking business,” and the other man retaliate with, “It is. You’re not the only one who cares about them, Levi,”, before Gabi promptly decides to do her best to ignore the two of them. She tries to concentrate on some posters that are hanging on the walks, reads how, “family is the most important thing when we’re in dire situation,” and, “keep on hoping even when everything seems lost” and “love is a cure that brings salvation when medicine fails,”, before the blonde’s voice raises in volume.  

She steals a quick glance in their direction, sees the blonde grip Levi by the shoulders, as he cries out, sounding both angry and imploring, “Don’t you understand that you’re just prolonging their suffering? You need to let go, Levi, this has been going on for too long already.” 

Gabi doesn’t stay to hear Levi’s answer, can’t possibly bear to listen to it, so she jumps to her feet and sneaks through the door, entering inside the ward. 

The first thing she sees there is a bouquet of flowers she herself has given to Levi the week prior. There are several of them, in fact, all from Gabi’s garden. There are other items in the ward – plushies, postcards, sweets and, of course, medical equipment. A surprisingly large amount of it. There are monitors, a whole web of various tubes and wires, syringes and infusion pumps. 

Gabi can only guess the purpose of this wide arrangement of machines, but all of it surrounds a bed, and— a person lying on it. 

Their body is covered with a blanket – two blankets, in fact. One undeniably from hospital, and another – big, fluffy and impossibly bright in color. What little else of them that she can see is bandaged heavily, even their face is partially hidden, and Gabi tries hard not to think what injuries they’re hiding. She also notices a mop of hair sticking out of the left side of the person’s head – the shade of it is nearly identical to Udo’s. That little detail only prompts the knot inside Gabi’s chest to tighten. 

So that’s where Levi spends his days then? Caring for his heavily injured spouse? 

But how did they get those injuries? What happened to them? When it had happened to them? And what meant that man when he had said that it’s time for Levi to let them go? 

Gabi longed to untangle the mystery of Levi for so long, but now that all the clues are right in front of her, she doesn’t really feel like reaching out for an answer. 

“I told you to wait outside,” Levi throws at her, as he enters suddenly, but his voice sounds so exhausted and his tone carries no bite that his words intended. 

His gaze instantly locks on the person in a bed, his spouse, and his eyes are so full of sorrowful longing, of love so unconditional that Gabi feels her own begin to fill with tears. 

“Hi, Hange,” he says, as he takes a seat beside their bed. He reaches out to caress their cheek, sweeping back a lock of dark brown hair with his thumb. Gabi doesn’t sit down on the other side of bed, she doesn’t move at all, tries to breathe as quietly as possible, afraid to ruin the impossibly tender scene that unravels before her very eyes. Again, she feels like she’s intruding, looking at something intimate, not meant for her, even though she’s the only other conscious person in the room. “Sorry if Erwin bored you out again,” Levi continues, still in the same gentle, loving voice. “But I brought someone who might cheer you up. It’s the kid I told you about, remember the one I met a few weeks ago? Anyway, her name is Gabi.” 

“Hi,” Gabi steps out, approaching the bed with slow, measured steps, torn between confusion and a smidge of mournful fondness that Levi’s love for his partner invokes in her. She decides to play along with him, despite the absurdity of it all, and gingerly takes a seat on the other vacant chair, curling up her lips slightly, as she continues, “It’s nice to meet you, Hange. I… I wanted to for quite some time.”  

In spite of her efforts, however, Hange remains unresponsive. Gabi hangs her head, feeling disappointed. And Levi— Levi snorts, as he finally looks at Gabi. 

“Not bad, kid,” he comments. “But I’m not that mad. Not yet, at least. I don’t actually believe that Hange can hear me. Although, sometimes… it’s nice to pretend they do. Maybe, that’s why doctors feed us that bullshit about your loved ones hearing you. Maybe, it really helps some people.” 

“Does it help you?” 

It takes Levi a long time to answer, a time he spends staring at his lover’s face. “No, I don’t think so. Because every time I talk to them, some part of me still hopes that they will answer. But,” he sighs and shakes his head. “They never do.” 

“What… what happened to them?” 

“I told you already, kid,” Levi says with a bitter huff. “Never laugh while driving.” 

“Oh, so…”

“Yeah, we collided with some truck. I don’t know what the hell it was transporting, but whatever it was, it had caused our car to explode. I don’t remember much of it, only a bright light of explosion, unbearable pain, and someone… someone pulling me away from the rumble. It must have been Hange, that idiot… if they cared about themself for once in their goddamn life… perhaps, we wouldn’t be in this mess.” 

“They saved you, though.” 

“And did I fucking ask them for it?” Levi growls, in hopeless desperation. “Did I? Fuck…” he breathes out, his anger gone as quickly as it had appeared. “Sometimes I wish… I wish it was me.” 

“Levi!” Gabi exclaims, beyond enraged by his words. “Hange saved your life! You ought to treasure it!” 

“Treasure it?” Levi laughs then, bitterly, without a hint of mirth. That broken sound makes Gabi’s blood run cold. “How can I possibly treasure anything, when Hange, when they— are like this? Do you all think I can just carry on? Live my life to the fullest, while the one I wished to spend it with is slowly dying? And I can do shit about it?” 

“Levi…” Gabi wants to reach out to him, tell him all these hopeful phrases she read on the posters in the hallway, promise that everything is going to be alright, that love is a salvation , but she knows that her words would sound empty, meaningless in a face of Levi’s immense grief. 

“Doctors… doctors say there is no hope,” he says, sounding almost inhumanly detached. “They say there is no positive dynamic, little to no progress, that it’s pointless to drag this out for any longer, but… what do they even know? They know shit about Hange, they can run whatever stupid tests they want, monitor and study every inch of Hange’s body, but they’ll never know them like I do. Hange is always running late, always. They were late even for our wedding, for Christ’s sake! Of course, they’re taking their sweet time waking up. That’s what they always do.” 

“Hange… was late to your wedding?” Gabi asks, not sure if she wants to snicker or cry her eyes out. 

“Yes, if you can believe it. I knew they’d be, though, I knew it, and I warned them that if they arrived even a second later, I’d divorce their ass right there and then.” 

“And did you?” 

“Fuck, of course not,” Levi answers, something close to a smile creeping on his face. “Filling out divorce papers, getting a new marriage license just so four-eyes could come late at our second wedding too? Way too much effort. They would have loved it if I had done it, though. Probably would have laughed their ass out, while I did it too. It was easier to just accept it and move on.” 

“Oh. You two are a very… interesting couple.” 

“Yeah,” Levi snorts. “That’s a nice way of putting it, I guess.” 

“That blanket, by the way,” Gabi carefully touches it, eager to change the subject to something lighter, and, perhaps, get more funny stories out of Levi. “It doesn’t look like the hospital-issued one.” 

“Because it’s not. I brought it from home, spent days fighting with the staff about it before they let me keep it.” 

“Is it—”

“It’s Hange’s favorite one, yes. They used to wear it all the time. Sometimes with nothing underneath. God, I hated this blanket so much. It always was so dirty, with crumbs, their hair and god knows what else all plastered on it. I had to come home an hour earlier just so I could wash it before Hange came back home from work. And, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like Hange feels extra cold or something. Their hands are always warm, the rest of their body too, but they… well, they like to feel warm, I guess. You know, they used to hog all the blankets off me. At first, I thought they were just fucking with me and it was another one of their attempts to rile me up, but no, even in a summer when it gets so hot that it’s hard to breathe and bed feels like fucking lava even at night, they still sleep with a blanket on. They joke that they were a lizard in a previous life.” 

“Well… that’s one way of explaining it.” 

“Yeah, and another is that they simply are a weirdo. I lean more towards the second theory.” 

“And yet you still love them, despite all their oddities.” It’s a statement, not a question. Only a blind wouldn’t see how much Levi cares for his other half. 

“They wouldn’t be Hange without their oddities. Besides… they accept mine too.”

With Levi so unusually talkative, Gabi almost expects him to start elaborating. Or begin a different kind of story from his life with Hange, sharing another amusing memory. Instead, however, he falls quiet. 

Not knowing what to say except, “Tell me more”, Gabi is forced into silence too. That silence, it starts slowly, enveloping them in a gentle embrace that is only occasionally interrupted by the beeping of machinery. But that too fades into a background, as silence grows more persistent. 

At first, Gabi finds it pleasant, soothing. But then she chances a look at Levi, and finds that his eyebrows are furrowed in a scowl once again, and the more seconds trickle by, the darker it becomes. He’s thinking hard about something, what exactly – Gabi can only guess. But she knows for sure who is at the center of his thoughts, and what they make Levi feel. 

Nothing positive, that’s for sure.  

Gabi has to find a way to distract him from those thoughts, before they establish a complete reign over Levi. Luckily, with Hange’s ward being as overstuffed as it is, it’s not hard for her to find a topic for a conversation. 

“There are so many gifts here,” she begins, and mentally pets herself on her head, when Levi looks up at her, his eyes a little brighter, with a light of intrigue appearing inside them. “Are all of them from you?” 

“No,” Levi looks behind his back, gazing at the mountain of various items that is so big and high, it seems like the bedside table that holds them will break down under their collected weight any minute now. “These are from Hange’s friends, colleagues and students. I’m not the only one they share their love with.”

“Oh, students ?” 

“Hange is a science teacher at the same school where I work,” Levi explains. “And is crazy popular among brats like you.” Gabi huffs, but does so quietly and doesn’t point out that she is a college student already, not wishing to distract Levi and genuinely curious to know more. “Most of them adore four-eyes. I can’t even have lunch with them anymore, because kids constantly demand their attention, either discussing the assignments or simply drinking tea in their office. Hange is considered one of the best teachers in our school,” he says with pride in his voice. “Not just because they’re a fucking genius, but also because they’re friendly and kind. Students love them fiercely. This thing, for example,” he fishes out a plushie and hands it to Gabi, “was sewn by Hange’s former student.” 

Gabi looks at the toy in her hands, marvels at how masterfully it was crafted. It is a bit misshapen, that is true, but just as undeniable is the toy's cuteness. 

“Wait, you said former student? Do they still keep in touch with Hange after graduating?” 

“Some do. There is a group of friends, who, before all this, used to have dinner with us at least once a month.” 

“Oh, it must be fun,” Gabi says with a small smile. Truthfully, she can’t quite imagine herself having dinners with her high school teachers and enjoying it, but if what Levi says is true, then his Hange is nothing like the teachers Gabi had to deal with. 

“Fun?” Levi huffs indignantly. “There is nothing fun in trying to feed almost a dozen college students. They’re good kids, though. Always put a smile on Hange’s face.” 

“You… you don’t have your own children?” 

“No,” Levi replies, sighing wearily. “We never really thought about it, to be honest. Hange put their work first, and as for me… having only Hange was already more than enough. And now… well, it’s good that we don’t have any kids. If something happens… I wouldn’t want a child to go through it.” 

“Oh, that’s…” Gabi tries to find some words, something gentle and soothing, but before she can succeed, the door of the ward flies open, and inside steps a nurse. 

“Visiting hours are almost over,” she announces, pushing past them to check Hange’s vitals. Hearing that, Gabi startles. She looks out of the window and finds that the sun is already setting. So engrossed in a conversation with Levi, she must have completely lost track of time. 

“We’re already leaving,” Levi says, although he makes no move to stand up. “I need just another minute with Hange. Alone .” 

The nurse obviously has something to retort at his request, but Gabi catches her by the elbow and not so subtly pushes her out of the ward, rushing to leave it too.

Just as she closes the door of it, she steals another glance at Levi. He’s leaning over Hange now, his lips brushing softly against their temple. Whatever he is saying, Gabi lets it be a moment that she’s not intruding on. 

Levi joins her in the hallway not long after, just as he promised. As soon as he does so, he makes eye contact with a vexed nurse, and tells her, “I’ll be back tomorrow.” 

“Of course,” she grumbles, not even trying to hide the irritation seeping from her tone. “As always.” 

“What an asshole!” Gabi curses, as they leave the nurse behind. “She could have at least pretended to be nice!” 

Levi, however, only shrugs. “I don’t blame her, really. Hange is in there for nearly two months, with little to no progress, it is understandable that they’re annoyed. Their place could be taken up by someone who actually has chances.” 

“You don’t think—”

“I don’t know, kid,” he confesses softly. “I try to, obviously, but it’s getting a little hard to keep faith.” 

“Hange will wake up!” Gabi exclaims, and then grabs Levi by the shoulders, making him meet her eyes. “I’m sure they will! You’ve said it yourself – they’re just running a bit late.” 

“Maybe,” Levi murmurs, in a voice so weak, it breaks Gabi’s heart a little. “Time will tell. Anyway, thanks for coming with me today. It… really helped.” 

“I’m glad it did. However! I have something else to ask from you in return.” 

“What’s that?” 

Gabi smiles, as cheerfully, as the atmosphere of the hospital can allow her, “Get yourself something nice to eat. And, at least, try to sleep. Hange needs you at your best!” 

“Hm. I’m sure they do,” is all that Levi answers before he waves at her and exits the hospital to go his own way. 

Gabi watches after his retreating figure, until it gets lost in the crowd, her mind still in a terrible disarray after today’s events. 

She worries for Levi even more so than before. It must be so hard to deal with a tragedy like this all on your own. But Levi is not alone, not anymore. And even if he can’t continue keeping faith— it just means that Gabi’s faith must be stronger, enough for the two of them. It means that she has to keep on hoping for Hange’s survival and for Levi’s reunion with his other half. 

Gabi goes to visit Hange again on Monday, right after her classes end. 

She doesn’t tell Levi about it, wants to surprise him, hopes that the surprise will be a pleasant one, but instead – she is one who gets a surprise. 

When she gets to the eighth floor – there is no sign of Levi, he’s not in a hallway, he’s not by Hange’s side, she even checks the doctor’s office but only gets a confused, and slightly, impatient shake of a head. 

Perhaps, Levi’s resting just like he promised to, Gabi tries to reason, as she enters Hange’s ward, throws away an already wilting bouquet, replacing it with a fresh one. It’s not the one from her garden, the autumn has been quite merciless to her flowers, but the flowers she brought from a nearby shop are still fairly nice, even prettier than Gabi’s own. 

Gabi greets Hange then, just like she did the first time, and sits down beside them, and— starts talking. She tells Hange about her day, a bit about her friends, but most of all – she speaks about Levi. She doesn’t share her worries about him, though, not wishing to upset Hange, in case they really do listen. She wants them to wake up happy, wants to see with her own eyes the smile that Levi had fallen for, so she tells Hange how endearing their husband is, how kind if a little awkward he acts towards her and her friends, and how glad she is that she has met and got to know him. 

She spends the better half of the afternoon with Hange, rambling non-stop about Levi’s exceptional gardening skills and his amusing love for tea, and forces herself to stop only when she sees that sun is setting down again. 

She says goodbye to Hange, promises to visit again soon, and is quick to leave before the nurse comes yapping at her again.

The urge to ask the hospital staff about Levi is nearly unbearable, but Gabi quells it, and hurries back home, where her neglected homework with rapidly approaching deadlines is already waiting for her. 

On Wednesday, Gabi wakes up to the sound of rain so heavy that for a moment – she considers skipping school altogether. 

The skies beyond her window are dark, the masses of clouds are so thick they almost appear black. The raindrops hit hard against her windowsill and are so loud that they make her feel as though someone is knocking on her door. But just as fast as that fear appears, it dissolves into nothing, and she laughs a little, amused by her own silly thoughts. Then, however, the knocking-like sound comes again. And this time, it’s harder for her to convince herself that it’s the product of the rain and her imagination. 

As soon as that realization settles in, Gabi jumps out of her bed and rushes downstairs, taking two steps at a time. She throws the front door open, and at the other side of it – stands Levi. Completely drenched, with eyes bloodshot and cheeks even thinner than before, he appears like a blank shell of his former self. 

“Levi?” the name tumbles out of her lips unprompted, and too quiet, compared to the harsh sound of the rain. 

“I…” Levi looks lost, like he stumbled to the doorstep of her house by a complete accident. “Can you come to the hospital with me again? Please.” 

Gabi wordlessly nods, gets Levi inside, hands him a towel to at least dry his face and hair, and rushes back upstairs, swiftly pulling on her clothes. She texts Falco as she makes her way downstairs, tells him that she won’t come to the school today. He texts back almost immediately, asking if she’s feeling alright. 

Gabi leaves that text unanswered. Is she feeling alright? She’s not sure yet.

“Shall we?” she asks Levi with hollow cheerfulness that leaves her completely, when she finds that Levi’s still standing in the hallway, with that same spooky vacant gaze of his. 

At least, he dried his hair. Small victories and all that. 

Gabi doesn’t ask him for a reason for his state today, and also doesn’t ask why he needed her so early in the morning, and so they ride to hospital in utter silence, rain as their only accompaniment. 

She gathers enough courage to open her mouth only at the entrance of the ICU. 

“So how is Hange? Are they—”

“No. It’s over. The doctors— they will remove the life support today.” 

Levi says it easily, like he’s talking about a stranger he never met, and not his spouse, the love of his entire life. Gabi’s reaction to that is instant – she grabs Levi by the lapels of his coat, spins him around, forcing him to face her.

“No!” she shouts, uncaring of who will listen. “Levi, you can’t! Hange— they’re just running late, you can’t—”

“I must,” he says. “I must let them go.” 

Gabi feels like stomping her feet, like throwing a tantrum. She feels like crying. But what good will it achieve? Levi has his mind set already, and some girl’s pleading won’t change that. Resigned, she follows after him without saying another word, sniffling quietly as they cross the threshold of ICU. 

The department is so much livelier today. Although, maybe lively is not exactly the correct term to describe it. There are a lot more people in the hallway, a crowd of them gathered at the door of Hange’s ward. They don’t talk amongst themselves, however, stand there stoically silent, with tears gathered in the corners of their eyes but not yet shed. 

Only one man, who sits at some distance from the others, is weeping openly. Levi heads straight to him. 

“Oi, Moblit,” he snaps at the other man. “Stop it. At least wait until it’s done. Four-eyes…” his voice softens, if just a bit, and he reaches to momentarily squeeze his shoulder. “Four-eyes would hate to see you like this.” 

“Levi, I… I can’t! Hange is…”

“I know. I know what you’re feeling. But Hange always wanted to go out with a bang. Let’s grant them that wish and pretend they did.” 

Miraculously – Levi’s words work. The man wipes off his tears, takes a deep breath and stands up – unevenly – to join the rest of the group. They pat him on a shoulder as he comes, and a blond tall woman leans down to whisper something in his ear. 

“Would you mind—” Levi gestures at the door of the ward, “— keeping them company for a bit? I need to sign some documents, and I don’t want them to be alone. Not in their last moments.” 

Gabi wonders for a moment – why doesn’t Levi ask his friends to do it, surely, Hange would enjoy their company a lot more. But perhaps— perhaps, she can understand his reasoning. The weight of staring at the face of your soon-be-dead friend must be unbearable. 

It is almost too painful for her as well, and she doesn’t even know Hange. She can only imagine what their friends are going through. 

Inside the ward, Hange is as peaceful as ever, not at all perturbed by the storm of emotions that rages just behind the door. 

“Hi, Hange,” Gabi murmurs, taking a seat next to their bed. “It’s Gabi again. Remember, the girl Levi introduced you to some time ago? I’m happy that he did, by the way. So happy. I don’t really know you, I’ve never talked with you after all, but… I’ve come to care about you a great deal. As possibly do everyone you ever met. I hope…” Gabi’s voice cracks, tears ready to spill, but she does her best to keep them at bay. She reaches out, takes Hange’s hand in hers. It’s warm, just as Levi said it would be. Gripping it a little harder, Gabi finds the strength to continue, “I hope you know how loved you are by everyone around you. And no one loves you more than Levi. I don’t really know what he’s feeling right now, he hides it so well that I’m actually terribly worried about him. I don’t know how he’s intending to go on, where he’ll find the strength to, but don’t you worry, I’ll try to keep an eye on him for you. I’ll do whatever I can to help him.” 

She falls quiet after that, and in the near-silence, Gabi’s senses heighten. She hears the rain that hasn’t stopped, the hushed murmurings outside, she feels— A twitch. 

Hange’s hand is still in hers, and it seems like the twitch came from one of their fingers. Gabi looks down at their joined hands, stares intently, not even breathing, half-convinced she had imagined it, but then—

She feels it again.

It’s a bit stronger now, harder to ignore. And it repeats, and repeats again. 

Gabi’s mind goes into a frenzy – is this normal for patients in coma? Or is this a sign of—

The monitors around Hange start beeping, overwhelmingly loud. Gabi looks at them, sees a spike in Hange’s heart activity, and when she looks back at Hange—

Hange is staring back at her. 

Gabi gasps, jumps from her chair, her heart full and singing, Hange woke up! They’re alive! She needs to tell Levi! But when she tries to go and do just that, she’s stopped. By Hange, who still hasn’t let go of her hand. 

Their eyes are wide as they stare at Gabi, there’s confusion and fear and raw panic inside them, and it looks like Hange wants to say something, but can’t, due to the oxygen mask. Gabi doesn’t even entertain the idea of pulling it off, not sure of the consequences, and tries to placate Hange in another way. 

“It’s okay,” she says as soothingly as she can. “You’re safe, Hange. It’s all alright.” 

Strangely – that information does nothing to quell Hange’s panic. 

Gabi thinks of what else to say, what possibly can set someone in such a frenzy, and then she remembers – the car crash and all of its horrible consequences. Hange must have blacked out immediately after it, Gabi thinks, and they don’t know how it all ended. 

“Everything is alright,” she repeats, squeezing their hand gently. “Levi is alright too. He’s just outside, let me get him for you.” 

Her words work like magic. Hange relaxes instantly, their heart rate starts to slow down, and they let go of Gabi’s hand with a look of gratitude in their eyes. 

Gabi doesn’t waste a single second then, rushes out of the ward, pushing through Levi and Hange’s confused friends and nurses that are already running towards Hange’s ward. She nearly trips and falls on her way to the doctor’s office, catching herself just in time before her face meets the floor. She’s completely out of breath by the time she reaches the door she needs. It’s open and Gabi tumbles inside without hesitation. 

“Levi!” she cries out with a huge smile on her face. “Hange woke up!” 

Levi is at her side in an instant, and the hand that wraps around her wrist is heavy, almost vice-like. 

“Kid,” he says in a voice that causes hairs on the back of Gabi’s head to stand up. It’s cold, that voice, and angrier than she thought she’d ever hear from Levi. “If this is some kind of sick joke—”

“It’s not!” she shouts. “They opened their eyes, I saw it, I swear!” 

“Mr. Ackerman,” the doctor calls out as he checks his phone. “What she says is true. Your partner has truly woken up.” 

“Fuck,” is all that Levi can mumble, before he’s out of the door and nearly running towards Hange’s ward, his cane the only thing that somewhat slows him down. Gabi is hot on his heels, naturally, so when Levi enters, when his eyes fall on a person in a bed, she hears him emit a sigh, that’s half-chuckle and half-sob. 

Not caring about a swarm of people that surround Hange, seemingly not even seeing them, he pushes his way towards them, everyone taking a step back to give him space. 

He grips Hange by the shoulder, rests his forehead against theirs, and breathes out, “Fucking hell, four-eyes,” he whispers, voice thick with tears that his eyes are full of. “Why must you always be so fucking late? I’m so divorcing you for this.” 

He’s smiling as he says this, tears now freely streaming down his face. Gabi can’t stop her own ones too, as she watches the couple in front of her share their first smile in a long, long while. 

Despite their miraculous return, Hange’s recovery process is far from being finished. And it’s in no way miraculous. 

Retaking their health back isn’t easy for Hange, not at all. Gabi sees new lines of exhaustion appear on their face every time she visits. Sometimes – although she never points it out – she sees the dried tear streaks too. But in spite of it all, Hange doesn’t give up. They do their best to follow doctor’s instructions to a T, they don’t complain even when lengthy therapy sessions leave them sweating and shaking from pain. And what’s more – they don’t stop being kind and friendly, just as Levi has described them. Each time Gabi comes to Hange, they always greet her with a brilliant, incredibly warm smile. They try to listen to her mindless ramblings to the best of their abilities and don’t throw Gabi out, even when they’re so exhausted that they fall asleep right in the middle of a conversation.  

They have to work hard to get back what they’ve nearly lost – for the first few weeks Hange is so weak they can’t walk or eat, and even breathe properly. They have trouble speaking as well, and most of their demands or wishes have to be translated to the hospital stuff through Levi. 

How is he able to do that – Gabi isn’t completely sure. Sometimes Hange and Levi don’t exchange a single word, and yet, a fleeting gaze, a simple touch is enough for Levi to know what Hange needs or wants to say. 

She asks the two of them about that once, when Hange has regained most of their speech and grown strong enough to sit and even take short walks around their ward.

“Oh, that?” Hange scratches their chin at Gabi’s inquiry. “Well, I guess we never had a problem with that, right, Levi? Although, I was the one who used to translate Levi’s words to others before. The roles have switched, haven’t they?” 

“Not really,” Levi grunts from his place by Hange’s side. “You’re still a mess I need to constantly take care of. Now… you’re just not as blabbering. Sometimes. ” 

Hange throws their head back and laughs – loud, unabashedly and so, so happily that Gabi just can’t not follow their example. “And I’m still crazy smart and insanely hot. Hm…” they look down at the burns that now, after the bandages were taken off, paint their skin in pinkish red. “I’d even say I’m scorching hot now.” 

Levi picks a part of them that is not injured, and slaps it, with a disgruntled huff. “That joke was awful.”

“But you love awful jokes, no? And,” they meet Levi’s eyes, and smirk slyly, “You also love me.” 

“Unfortunately,” Levi mumbles, but even as he says so, his hand is already entangled in Hange’s hair and his eyes stare at their lips so intently that Gabi takes the hint instantly. 

By now, after spending so much time in Hange and Levi’s presence, she knows how to not be an intruder and escape the scene before she witnesses something she really, really doesn’t want to. 

Gabi’s forced to spend less time with Hange and Levi, when finals start to loom on the horizon. 

She still calls them frequently, and goes to see them in person every chance she gets, even if just for a few minutes. 

The recovery is going great, the doctors say, and Hange agrees, although they add that it’s also going so much slower than they thought. 

They’re improving, though, it’s hard not to notice even for someone as obtuse in medicine as Gabi is. Hange talks more, laughs more, they’re more physically active, and most gifts are gone from their bedside table, replaced by books and journals that they read for hours on end. 

Alongside Hange, Levi is getting better too. He’s gained some weight now that he can share meals with Hange, and circles under his eyes have grown paler too after the hospital staff finally caved in and put a sofa inside the ward so he could spend his nights with his spouse. The sofa doesn’t look particularly comfortable, but Levi has never once complained about it, so Gabi suspects that he literally spends his nights with Hange, curled up around them in their too narrow hospital bed. The sadness from his eyes is as good as gone too, and smiles that Gabi thought were a rarity on him, now come to Levi that much easier. 

Just hours before meeting up with her friends at the bar to celebrate the end of finals and a day before Gabi goes to visit her family for Christmas, she stops by the hospital. She comes bearing gifts, of course – a sweater that Falco helped her sew for Hange, and a nice tea set that Zofia and Udo found for her. 

The hospital’s hallways are as quiet as they always are, with only some staff members smiling in reply to Gabi’s cheerful, “Happy Christmas!”, but when she enters Hange’s ward, she finds that there, the Christmas spirit has prevailed. There is a little tree standing on a bedside table, decorated with cute petite toys, and a lone garland hanging off one of the lamps above the bed. 

Hange smiles brightly as they see her enter, and eagerly beckon Gabi to come closer. “You’re right on time, Gab!” they exclaim. “I was starting to get worried that I won’t see you before Christmas.” 

“Nah, how could I forget about you? I even brought you presents!”

“Oh, you shouldn’t have,” Hange says, even as they impatiently snatch the package out of Gabi’s hands, and pull a sweater out of it. “Woah! It’s so pretty!” they say, running fingers over it. “And so soft too! And—” they brush the blanket off their shoulders and put a sweater on, “— it fits me perfectly! Thank you so much for this! I’ll never take it off, I promise!”

“I don’t think Levi will be glad to hear it,” Gabi smiles. “Where is he, by the way? I have a present for him too.” 

“He’ll be back shortly, he went out to get some food for us. And it means it's the perfect time to give you—” Hange reaches over to the bedside table, rummages a bit through it, before fishing out a book that they thrust into Gabi’s hands, “—This!”

“Oh…” Gabi looks at the book in her hands, feeling a little lost. “And what is this?” 

“Levi mentioned that you haven’t decided what you want to study yet, so I thought, well, I’d help you a little by widening your horizons a bit. I’m not sure if you’re interested in that stuff, honestly, but you never know until you try, right?” 

Gabi nods and opens the book, curious. It’s a biology textbook, she realizes, her eyes widening when she sees a familiar name in the author's section. 

“ You wrote it?” 

“Eh, one of my earliest stuff,” Hange gestures carelessly. “I’ve been told it’s fairly easy to read too, so it must be a good pick for a beginner.” 

“Thank you so much, Hange. I will read it, I promise.” Even if she can’t understand a single word of this book, Gabi will read. Until the very end. 

“Just don’t tell Levi about it,” Hange snickers. “He’s been afraid for you for quite some time.” 

“Huh?” Gabi looks back up, her brows furrowing. “Afraid? Of what?” 

“Of me turning you into another follower of my ‘cult of science’,” they answer with a little chuckle. “Levi worries about each kid that joins it.” 

“Surely, it can’t be that bad.”

“It’s not bad at all! The kids enjoy it!” Hange hurriedly assures. “But what can I say? Levi didn’t marry me because I’m a genius.”

“Oh? What did he marry you for then?”

“Well, for my insanely good looks, obviously. And,” Hange grins mischievously, beckoning Gabi to lean a bit closer. When she does, they whisper in her ear, “to get a teacher’s parking slot at school.” 

Sometimes, Hange says some things that make Gabi uncertain if they are serious or joking. In the beginning, she always assumed that Hange was serious. But now she knows that latter is most often true. 

She intends to tell them so, when the door to the ward opens and Levi comes inside, hands full of packages with food. He rolls his eyes, as he sees in what position they’re in, with Hange’s lips by Gabi’s ear. 

“What did they tell you, kid?” Levi asks Gabi. “Is it that shit about me marrying them for a parking slot?” 

 “Well,” Hange calls, staring at Levi beneath furrowed brows. “Do you deny it?” 

“Of course, I deny it, four-eyes,” he answers tiredly. “I didn’t even have a car before we got married.” 

“Aha! So you married me to get a car?” 

“Obviously. An apartment so close to school was a nice addition, too.” 

“In what age we live!” Hange admonishes, clasping their hands together. “For a diligent, innocent, unbelievably smart and handsome teacher like me to be married to a such vile cash-grabber for so many years and—”

“Enjoy it?” Levi cuts in, finishing their tirade. 

“ Enjoy it ?” Hange repeats, even more scandalized than before. “Who says I’m enjoying it?” 

“Your vile cash-grabber of a husband,” Levi retorts easily. “Now, shush, and eat your food. Before I eat everything.” 

Gabi feels that another appalled speech is on its way from Hange, so she quickly says her goodbyes, hands the present to Levi and goes to meet with her friends, leaving Levi and Hange to their bickering. 

Time sure flies fast, Gabi muses, as she stands in her garden, gazing at it with fondness in her eyes. The seasons change, sun comes up and down, and her flowers - they're blooming once again. 

One year ago, she met a sad man in her garden, the one who stared longingly at mismatched sunflowers. And today, precisely one year later, the sunflowers are in bloom again, bigger and prettier than they were before, and Gabi picks a bouquet of them to go and meet that man, who isn't sad anymore. And to gift the flowers to his spouse, who a year ago was nearly declared dead, but today celebrates their forty's birthday.

Gabi's heart beats fast in anticipation, as she rides to Hange and Levi's apartment, and it fills with joy and happiness, when she sees them waving at her from their porch - both a little older, still carrying the marks and weight of their injuries, but just as in love with one another as they were a year ago. 

Walking up to them, Gabi remembers a poster she read in a hospital, one that she initially ruled out as silly, but now knows that it spoke absolute truth.

Love is truly a salvation.