Chapter Text
James is sitting on his couch trying to find a movie on Netflix when the front door bangs open. He turns as Sirius dramatically opens his arms. “May I present to you, the one and only, Marlene McKinnon!” Sirius steps to the side as Marlene plows through the door.
“Tada,” Marlene sings, arms out.
“Marls, your hair,” James yells, scrambling off the couch. “Why haven’t you cut it like this before?” Marlene laughs. Indeed, her hair has been cut into a dramatic wolfcut, which suits her very well. James is already a huge fan.
“Mkay, let’s go show Remus and Pete.” Sirius grabs Marlene’s hand and drags them across the hall, yelling for Remus and Peter. As they reach the living room of Sirius and Remus' flat, Remus and Peter walk out of the hallway looking very confused.
“The hell is going on, Sirius,” Remus asks, annoyed before he spots Marlene. “Marls! Your hair looks fucking amazing.” Peter is all up in Marlene’s face, moving her hair around, expressing their love for it as Marlene tries swatting their hands away.
Remus walks into the kitchen to make tea, and everyone follows as Marlene begins telling the story about their hair (because there's always a story with Marlene). According to Marlene they were only going for a trim because she was content with her longer hair. But her Italian hairdresser, Sergio, told them that he was tired of only ever trimming their hair, which according to Sergio is beautiful hair. So on a whim, she told him to have a go and do whatever he wishes to her hair. And it resulted in a wolfcut, which Marlene absolutely adores.
“Well, Sergio did a wonderful job Marls,” Remus tells them, smiling over his cup. She thanks him then suggests they watch a movie. And before James gets a word in, he gets told that no, they will not watch High School Musical 1, 2, or 3.
Sirius suggests they watch 21 Jump Street as they head to the living room and is immediately vetoed- “That’s what you get for saying no to Troy Bolton, Pads.” Marlene says they want to watch a scary movie and gets a pillow thrown at her. Remus tries to play Cunk on Earth but Peter grabs the remote before he manages to press play.
“Moony, you have watched that damn show too many times. I probably have the words memorized and I try not to listen to it,” Pete tells him as they stop at the 2006 Pink Panther movie. James and Sirius both start shaking their heads but Peter presses play.
“Damn you, Jacques Clouseau,” James hears Sirius mutter next to him. He tries to suppress his laugh. Marlene cheers when Beyoncé shows up on screen. Sirius huffs at all the stupid things Clouseau does but his eyes never leave the TV. A quarter of the way into the film, Remus gets up and makes some popcorn. He comes back with two bowls; a medium sized bowl for him, Pete, and Marlene, and a large bowl for Sirius and James. Remus mutters something about them always eating all the popcorn as he hands them the bowl. James sees Sirius grin up at him.
Just as Clouseau is trying to tell the TSA agents that he has hamburgers in his pockets, the door bursts open and in comes Lily Evans. “Hello, my people,” she says, walking in and giving each of them a kiss on the head. “And what are we watching here?”
“It’s obviously Pink Panther, woman, now shhh,” Sirius hisses. Lily scowls and hits them upside the head. Sirius rubs the top of his head, eyes still not leaving the TV. Lily sits down next to Sirius and grabs some of their popcorn.
When the movie finishes, Sirius stands up and claps. “That is a brilliant movie. An absolute masterpiece of a film. Don’t you agree, Lilypad?”
Lily rolls her eyes. “Piss off, Sirius. Has Mcgonagall called you guys yet?” Everyone except James, who sinks down into the couch a bit, turns to her with confused looks.
“Hmmm… there have been no calls from Minnie since her last call,” Sirius answers. James noticeably still hasn't looked back at Lily. James sees Remus look at him suspiciously at the same time as Lily.
“Prongs, why do you look like you’re hiding something,” Remus asks him. Sirius turns to him slowly. After a moment they lean into James until his nose is nearly touching James’ cheek. James turns his head slightly to look at Sirius, who looks him up and down before whispering, “She called you, didn’t she.” After a second, James nods his head.
Sirius falls onto his back, dramatically clutching their heart. “No! James! Traitor of my soul, how dare you keep a phone call from Minnie a secret. I am absolutely appalled by your behavior.” Pete rolls their eyes before asking, “Why’d you hide it Prongs.”
“It was about a personal matter,” James mutters, crossing his arms.
Remus scoffs. “Personal matter? As if you haven’t told us every single one of your personal matters. I know too much about your shower routine, Prongs. Now tell us the real reason.”
It takes James a few seconds before he tells them, “I’ve been wanting to take some uni courses,” he says quietly. James looks down at his lap as he continues. “And I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t want you guys to think the band wasn’t enough. It is and I love all of you so much.”
Everyone is silent for a moment before Lily moves around the couch and sits next to James and takes his hand. “Jamie darling, we know you love us and the band. And if you want to take uni classes, then we’ll all support you.” Sirius, Peter, Marlene, and Remus all murmur their agreements. “We love you and want you to be happy.” James smiles slightly at her when she finishes her little speech.
“Thanks, Lils,” he whispers, leaning his head on her shoulder. Remus gets up, pats James on the head, and heads towards the kitchen yelling to everyone that he is making dinner. Marlene jumps up and follows him, but not before giving James a kiss on the cheek.
***
I just might murder Barty , Regulus thinks as he gets up off the couch to answer the banging on his door. “I swear if you lost your key again, Barty, I will shove your next one so far up your arse you’ll never lose it,” Regulus yells as he opens the door.
Low and behold, it’s Barty Crouch. Well, Barty Crouch carrying… eight bags of groceries. “It’s not lost, Reg. It’s just deep in my back pocket under my phone,” Barty tells him as he plows past Regulus and into the kitchen.
Regulus shuts the door before following him. “Why do you have eight bags of groceries, Barty,” Regulus asks, exasperated. He sees that Evan is in the kitchen with his headphones on. As he turns around he finally sees Barty with his many bags and jumps, dropping his toast.
“Damn you Barty. You scared shit out of me. Also… why do you have that many bags of groceries,” Evan asks him as he picks up his toast.
Barty dramatically starts putting the bags on the counter as he explains that he got texts from Pandora, Dorcas, and Mary to get certain things from the store for their game night tomorrow. Then, Pandora had the idea to make a pie, to which both the other girls agreed, and Barty just cannot say no to the girls, so he bought pie ingredients. But he didn’t know what kind of filling they would make so now they have multiple possibilities.
Evan squints at Barty for a second before pulling out his phone. A few moments later, Regulus feels his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulls it out. He sees that Evan sent a text on the group chat.
Barty is a whore
Ev: seriously pandora???
Pan: i literally did nothing???
Regulus smirks.
Regulus: the pies???
Pan: he could’ve totally said no
Bartemius: no i couldn’t have???
Cas: no he’s right he couldn’t have
Bartemius: shut it dorcas
Cas: bite me crouch
Mac: i think pies are a great idea
Ev: mary literally no
Ev: <image of all the bags>
Mac: why are there so many
Regulus puts his phone away when he hears Evan sigh. He looks up and sees Barty sitting on the floor drinking a juice box. Evan looks down at Barty, up at Regulus, and back down to Barty.
“Why are you drinking a juice box,” Evan asks, looking at Barty like he’s crazy.
Barty looks up at him. “It’s actually really good. Try.” Barty lifts his juice box up and Evan takes a sip. A second later his face lights up in excitement. “Oh shit why is that so good. Are there more?” Barty waves a hand at the bags on the counter and Evan starts digging.
Once he finds them, he begins putting the groceries away. Regulus hears Evan mutter about always having to do the chores around the apartment and Regulus scoffs before turning back to their living room.
He plays his show, which happens to be Cunk on Earth, and manages to watch it for about six minutes before Barty and Evan enter the living room. Barty seems to be laughing at something Evan said and they both have juice boxes. Barty throws one at Regulus and tells him to try it.
They both sit down on the other side of the couch, Evan’s arm thrown around Barty’s shoulders and Barty leaning into Evan, head on his shoulder. Regulus watches them wistfully. He remembers the night they got married. They were in Barcelona nearly two years ago with Dorcas, Pandora, and Mary. The six of them got extremely drunk and Barty decided it was a great idea for him to marry someone. That someone turned out to be Evan. And the rest of them were too out of their minds to think it was a bad idea.
They found flowers somewhere and they found a chapel. Pandora became a flower girl while Regulus was Barty’s best man, Mary was Evan’s, and Dorcas gave both of them away. After that, they all went to another bar and got even more plastered. They all woke up in one bed, having no clue what happened between them leaving the chapel and waking up.
Barty and Evan were surprisingly calm about them being married. They said they could just get divorced. Except it never happened. They both kept putting it off and four months and an angry love confession later, they were dating. Or truly in love, married. Either way, they never got divorced.
“Watching Cunk, Reg,” Barty asks him and breaks Regulus’ zoning. He scowls as he answers, “Obviously, you prat. Now shut the fuck up and watch.” Barty lifts his arms up in mock surrender before turning back to the screen. Regulus goes back to watching Cunk on Earth, listening to Barty tell the jokes before Philomena Cunk does and Evan repeatedly shushing him.