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JJ really wants to tell Sarah to fuck off.
It’d be unfair, to say the least, after her help back at the Carreras’ house, but unfortunately, it’s not enough to sway JJ. Especially not when Sarah’s got a fucking tractor-beam-gaze on his back that he can physically feel. Since he leaped down from the trellis off of the Carreras’ roof, a bag of Kiara’s clothes strapped to his back and her teddy bear under his arm, Sarah hasn’t let up.
Given that they just barely managed to get out of there without running into Mike or Anna, JJ’s not wasting any of his brain power trying to imagine what’s going on in Sarah’s head. Reading into stuff and shit – it’s not what he needs right now.
Besides, whatever Sarah thinks is going on is gonna be blown to fucking smithereens the second Kiara sees Turtle. She had made it explicitly clear that he should not go to her parents’ house, and he knows she’s not going to take it well, no matter how well-intentioned it was.
But it’s not like JJ could just leave all of Kiara’s shit in that house. Who knows what Mike or Anna were going to do – what if they threw out all her stuff? Burned all her pictures? Kiara would have been devastated. It’s better to have all those things safely tucked away with the two of them.
That’s what JJ tries to convince himself of, at least, as they walk from Kiara’s house to his home. It’s long and tedious, and given that they’re silent except to yell at each other to jump out of the way when a car is coming, JJ has a lot of time to turn it over in his head.
He did it for Kiara because she’d do it for him. That’s the beginning and the end of it.
Just when JJ feels like his arm is about to fall off from the weight of her clothes, they end up in front of his house. He feels bad that all the other Pogues are with him and he’s about to send them all to walk even farther back to the Chateau, but there’s no way any of them can be around for this.
“I think I need to do this one alone,” he says, turning to face all of them.
John B looks at him weird, his frown deepening as he hands over the bag of Kiara’s friendship bracelet shit. “What do you mean?” he asks.
It’s a blessing and a curse that the rest of the Pogues haven’t had alot of time to catch up with Kiara, and JJ had used that to his advantage. He had specifically thrown this plan at them at the last minute to avoid any chance of her finding out what he was up to.
“She’s, uh, not going to be happy,” JJ says, looking down at the bear in his hand.
Pope’s voice is incredulous. “I don’t think she’s gonna care much about stealing from her parents at this point.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not exactly the problem here,” JJ says, looking up and accidentally finding Sarah’s tractor-beam-gaze. “She made it clear she was not a fan of us risking it with her parents.”
They all go silent for a minute, John B whistling lowly. “Uh, so, why did we risk it, then? If Kie’s not a fan of the idea in the first place?” he asks.
JJ just sighs. “Some things are worth it.”
“Oh?” John B says with a tone that JJ doesn’t appreciate.
“Get out of here,” JJ says immediately, hoping to shut down that fucking twinkle in his eye. “All of y’all. It’s about to be World War III up in here.”
“Oh,” John B says in the same tone.
“Yeah,” Sarah says, a smile playing on her lips. “Oh.”
JJ doesn’t say anything, just flips the two of them off as he grabs Kiara’s things from Sarah’s arms.
“Can you send Cleo out before Kiara goes nuclear?” Pope asks, handing over Kiara’s pillows. “No need to traumatize her.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” JJ says, struggling to keep all of Kiara’s stuff in his arms as he turns around. “I’ll make sure she’s out of the blast zone.”
He knows they don’t move as he trudges across the lawn, their eyes piercing into his back. It makes him feel like a caged animal, but he does everything in his power to shake the feeling. This conversation is already not going to go that well, and it’s going to go even worse if he comes out swinging.
He has half a mind to drop Kiara’s stuff in the living room and pretend he really was at the grocery store, but the Maybank home is unforgiving in so many ways. The front door opens with a loud, familiar creak, and JJ flinches. The sound of Kiara’s feet slapping against the wooden floors comes immediately, and JJ drops the bags in his arms.
“It’s just me!” he calls out before she appears, cursing himself for not remembering to knock in the specific pattern they had come up with before unlocking the door, just so she would know it’s him.
“JJ?” Kiara says, popping out from his bedroom. She sizes him up, clearly relaxing as she sees it’s just him. “Jay, what the fuck?”
“Yeah, I’m back,” he says, sticking his hands in his pockets.
“Where were you?” Kiara demands.
Cleo appears behind Kiara, and JJ ignores Kiara’s question entirely. “Uh, Pope is out there waiting for you,” JJ says, pointing towards the door behind him. “They’re trying to get a move on.”
JJ’s relentlessly thankful that Cleo picks up on what he’s trying to say, her understanding nod coming quickly.
“I’m gonna get going, then,” she says, looking between the two of them. “You two good?”
Kiara’s arms are crossed, and JJ feels like he might finally, actually be in over his head.
“Uh, yeah,” JJ says, nodding. “We’re good. See ya later.”
In order to get to the front door, Cleo has to carefully side-step Kiara’s bags at JJ’s feet. By the looks of it, both Cleo and Kiara are putting the puzzle pieces together at the same time.
“Good luck, Chief,” Cleo says under her breath as she passes by him.
JJ knows he’s going to need it. Kiara’s eyes are blown out as she takes in all the bags around him, recognition setting in and a furrow to her brow that feels like a warning. When she lifts her eyes, she hits him with a look that makes him wish that he had stayed behind to get caught by Mike and Anna.
“Kie–”
“Oh, so you went to the grocery store?” she says, taking several steps forward as the door shuts behind Cleo. Kiara aims a violent kick at her bag of clothes. “They really opened up their selection, huh?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” JJ says, trying to play off the tension in his voice as a joke.
She watches him in disbelief for a second, her jaw literally dropping as if she can’t imagine his audacity. Honestly, at this point, he’s a surprise even to himself. After a moment, she stomps even further down the hallway, one finger pointed at him.
“You are unbelievable!” she accuses, her tone biting. “I told you not to risk it–”
“Yeah, well, I’m not really good at following directions.”
“If my dad had seen you, he would have killed you.”
“Not exactly a new sentiment from Mike,” JJ deadpans.
“No, but actually, though,” Kiara says, running her fingers through her hair and pulling at her roots. “What if they followed you here?”
JJ turns back to the door. Admittedly, he hadn’t even thought about that, but this would have to be the world’s slowest game of Grand Theft Teddy Bear.
“I wasn’t followed,” JJ says, even though he turns back, locking the door and contemplating sliding the couch in front of it again – just in case.
Despite his assertion, Kiara doesn’t appear relieved in the slightest. “Literally, of all the dumb shit you could have done – I mean, I specifically asked you not to go to my parents and then, what do you do? You go to my fucking parents’ house.”
“You knew I wasn’t going to listen,” JJ counters. “And they don’t deserve to keep all of your shit.”
“This isn’t about deserving shit, this about you and me staying safe!” Kiara says, nearly going nuclear like Pope had predicted. “My parents are legit psychos and you just walked into the lion’s den for no reason!”
“Yeah, well,” JJ says, feeling his haunches rise at her tone. “Stupid things, good outcomes, right?”
Kiara’s eyes narrow dangerously. “Don’t act like that,” she demands.
“Like what, Kie?”
“Like none of this matters!” she yells, turning on her heels and stomping down the hallway. She turns before she gets to his room, returning back to face him. “It matters to me that my parents don’t kill you, or put you in jail! God, did you even think about what would have happened if you got caught? What would I have done?”
“Kie, I wasn’t going to get caught –”
“I would have been here with Cleo, not knowing where you actually were, and I couldn’t even do anything about it because the second I leave this fucking house, I’m at risk of getting kidnapped again.” Kiara’s back hits the wall with too much force, and she slides down until she’s seated on the floor, her face in her hands. “You can’t do this shit when I’m not there to save your dumb ass, dude.”
For the first time since he heard the name Turtle, JJ actually pauses. “I’m sorry, Kie–”
“No, I’m serious,” Kiara says, turning to him with a fire in her eyes that threatens to burn both of them if JJ’s not careful. “I’m on lockdown, you’re on lockdown. Until I can get your ass out of trouble, you don’t get into trouble, got it?”
JJ swallows, looking down. “Trouble has a way of finding me these days, you know.”
“Then fucking hide from it,” Kiara seethes, the words sounding like a threat when it comes out from behind her bared teeth. “And definitely do not go looking for it.”
It’s in JJ’s very nature to push back against Kiara at every juncture, but for some reason, he feels himself giving in. “Okay,” he says quietly. “Okay, I’ll lay low.”
“Promise me,” KIara demands. “Promise me you won’t do his shit when I’m stuck inside.”
“Kie–”
“Promise me, or I’ll get my ass sent straight back to Kitty Hawk trying to bust you out of jail.”
JJ almost smiles at her. “I’d just bust you out again. A never-ending cycle, right?”
Kiara doesn’t even crack a smile. “JJ.”
“Okay, yeah,” JJ says, his smile dropping as he takes a step forward, holding his hand out. “Promise.”
For a second, Kiara hesitates, and JJ wonders if this is the time he’s finally done it. Thankfully, Kiara lifts her own hand and claps it against his in the Pogue handshake before he can spiral too far into the what ifs.
“I’m holding you to it,” she says as she snaps.
JJ smiles down at her tentatively. “I know you will.”
The look Kiara gives him makes it clear she’s not interested in him trying her anymore, and JJ thinks quick before she can launch into another rant and make him agree to anything else. He picks Turtle up from Kiara’s pile of belongings and tosses him to her.
She catches it, but only barely. Turning it over in her hands, Kiara stares at it with wide eyes.
“Just my two cents,” JJ says quietly, perhaps a little boldly, “but I think the risk was worth taking.”
Kiara’s face falls, and she clutches the bear to her chest. “Don’t do that,” she says, her voice sounding worryingly close to a sob. “Don’t ever do that again.”
“Okay, okay, okay,” JJ says quickly, stepping over her bags and towards her, sliding down the opposite wall of the hallway so he’s facing her. “I won’t, I promised.”
“Thank you,” Kiara whispers, clutching the bear closer in her arms, tears in her eyes, looking small and un-Kiara-like. “But don’t ever do that again.”
“It’s done,” JJ says. “I won’t pull any more shit on you.”
“Or just tell me the truth when you do,” Kiara says, closing her eyes and laying her head back against the wall, taking a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry for freaking out, I just feel really helpless right now and it’s driving me insane and I just need you to be honest with me, okay?”
“I will, Kie,” JJ says, reaching out to her knee and squeezing once. “I get it. Being trapped makes me feel weird, too.”
Kiara runs a hand down her face. “God, I can’t fucking believe you,” she says, but her tone sounds a fraction fond. She looks down at the bear in her lap, a half-laugh bubbling out of her. “All for Turtle.”
“Yeah,” JJ says quietly. “All for Turtle.”
Kiara finally looks at him, her expression an inch softer. “What else did you steal?”
“I prefer the term reacquired,” JJ says, but he reaches down the hall and drags the bags towards the two of them. “I just got the important stuff. Turtle, your pictures, some clothes. Your bag of friendship bracelet shit.”
“You got my pictures?” Kiara says, leaning forward to grab the box in JJ’s hand.
JJ watches as she lifts the cover, her face cycling through different emotions as she pulls pictures out at random and runs her fingers over them. She picks one specific picture out of the pile – the two of them, younger by years but still side-by-side, laying on the hammock in their bathing suits, fast asleep. She smiles at him as she taps her finger against it.
“We should hang it up,” JJ says, stunning even himself. Kiara looks at him, and he nods. “Yeah, we should hang all of them up. If you want.”
Kiara’s clearly taken aback, but she recovers quickly. “Yeah,” she says after a moment. “Yeah, we should.”
It’s slim pickings in the Maybank house in terms of tape, but JJ finds some old masking tape in one of the drawers. When he enters his room, Kiara’s already set all the photos out in a pattern on the floor that looks eerily similar to the pattern that had been on her wall. JJ wonders how much time she must have spent staring at it to have it memorized by heart.
“Best I can do is masking tape,” JJ says, holding it up as he enters the room.
“That’ll do,” Kiara nods, smiling. She holds up a picture for him to look at. “Get a load of this. Our kindergarten recital.”
JJ balks. He hadn’t known Kiara in kindergarten – he hadn’t even known John B yet. “Get out of here,” he says, crouching down over her shoulder.
“I’m serious!” Kiara says, pointing her finger to a much younger version of herself, and then to someone who is unmistakably John B. She points Pope out next, and then her finger is hovering over a younger version of himself.
“Holy shit,” JJ says, staring at the picture in awe.
“Before we were even friends,” Kiara says, smiling fondly at the picture.
The island is notoriously small, but JJ thinks this might be something else altogether. “It’s like fate or some shit, right?”
“Or some shit,” Kiara hums in agreement, putting the picture front and center. “Where should we hang these up?”
JJ stands up, appraising his room. The only empty space available on the wall is above JJ’s headboard, so he points to it. “How about there?” he offers.
Given the nature of their relationship, JJ expects more resistance, but Kiara just nods and stands, heading over to the bed.
“Is it okay if I…” Kiara trails off, pointing at the bed.
“Oh, yeah,” JJ says, waving her on. “Feel free.”
Kiara hoists herself so she’s standing on the bed, kicking the pillows to the floor so she has a clear workspace. She clicks her fingers, backing up as she admires the wall.
“Let’s start with the kindergarten picture,” she says, holding her hand out. “Build from the ground up, right?”
JJ smiles at her, even though she can’t see him as she’s turned towards his wall, and picks up the kindergarten photo. “Gotta have a strong foundation,” he says, handing her the photo and a couple pieces of masking tape.
They work like that – Kiara backing up and taking inventory of the wall, asking for specific pictures in a pattern JJ doesn’t quite understand, him giving her said picture and pieces of tape – until the entire wall is filled, and Kiara’s sitting cross legged on the bed, admiring it.
“How does it look?” she asks, tilting her head to one side.
“Pretty great,” JJ says, only looking away from Kiara when she turns to him. He averts his eyes to the wall, and after he takes it in for a second, he stands by his statement – the picture wall looks less elegant than it had looked in her room, but JJ thinks he likes it a lot better. He can feel Kiara’s gaze on him, though, like she caught him. He scratches at the back of his neck, turning back towards the door. “Uh, we also got a few blankets and pillows. Some clothes, too.”
He makes quick work of pulling all the bags into his room, avoiding Kiara’s eyes the entire time. Together, they card through the bags, pulling out things at random and putting them on the floor around the two of them. She nudges JJ’s shoulder, holding her pillows and her blankets in her arms and nodding her head back towards his bed.
“Oh, yeah,” JJ says, answering her unspoken question. She throws her blanket on top of his sheets, sets her pillow next to his.
She doesn’t make any move to change into her own clothes, though, and JJ tries not to read into it too much.
When it’s all said and done, the room is an odd mixture of the two of them – his sheets, her blanket. His drawings, her pictures. It’s kind of a mindfuck, in all honesty. A visual representation of all the parts of their lives that were kept separate before that are now – quite literally – all mixed together. It feels homier than either of their rooms had before.
“Thank you, Jay,” Kiara says, standing up slowly, holding Turtle in her arm.
“Anytime, Kie. You know that.”
“I think we literally just agreed that you would never do this again,” Kiara says teasingly, her head tilted to one side. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”
“Oh, you appreciate it, do you?” he says, matching her tone beat for beat.
“Yeah, I do,” Kiara says, taking a step towards him. “It means a lot.”
JJ’s incredibly still as she moves forward, pressing her lips against his cheek for a quick second, hesitating for only a moment too long.
As she pulls back, he wants to tell her that he’d do it all again. He’d risk her parents and the police – he’d even risk reigniting her anger if it really came down to it – just for this. He’d do it to give her some comfort in his room, to make this house feel slightly more like the home she deserves. He’d go back every night for the next year, until he’s stolen every sock in her room and every vinyl in her collection, until her favorite cereal spoon is sitting in his drawer and her bottle of lotion is in his bathroom, if she would just let him.
But she won’t let him, and he knows that, and it’s no use telling her something that’s painfully obvious. So, instead of voicing any of his thoughts, he just pulls her into a hug, burying his face in her neck.
“It’s nothing,” he says instead.