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There were many things that Ash could be doing on this fine morning. Like watching the tropical bird Pokémon that were native to Akala or having some of Kiawe’s parent’s famous ice cream for breakfast because he’s an adult and can do those kinds of things.
But no! Instead Ash is being forced by his students to rank all known Champions on whether their sexy or not.
Please Arceus, kill him hard and fast.
“Ash!” Mallow whined, and honestly? Ash expected better from her. “Tell us!”
“Yeah!” Sophoclese piped up and Ash never wanted to hurt a child more in his life until this very moment. “Personally, Champion Diantha’s at the top of my list.”
Ash is so very thankful that he has kept two table lengths between him and his students since he walked in on them this morning. Crowded together in a tight circle with all their phones out. Thankfully none of them had approached Ash or even acknowledged his existence until he drained his second cup of coffee. He actually prayed that they’d continue to ignore him for the rest of the day or at least till Kukui and or Olivia rocked up to the dining area.
Alass, Ash’s luck has always been extremely shitty.
“No comment-”
“Ash!” now Lana was whining. “You can’t ignore how sexy Champion Cynthia is!”
Okay, Lana and Mallow were on the edge of their older teen’s. So it’s typical for them to talk about things like this. Now Sophoclese was barely on the cusp of his thirteenth birthday. It’s like next month or something like that, so he shouldn’t be thinking about things like this current unwarranted conversation. Ash wasn’t during his age, he was thinking about getting his revenge on Tobias’s stupid ass instead.
Luckily Lillie and Kiawe hadn’t piped up yet. Their amongst the older students of the group, so they should be more re-
“Personally I prefer Champion Alder.” Kiawe piped up. Unbeknownst to him that he single handedly destroyed whatever hope Ash was gathering in that moment.
“Kiawe!” Mallow’s grin was vicious. Green eyes alight with shock and joy. “You like Alder?”
If Ash wasn’t so connected to the majority of world Champions, he wouldn’t be afraid to admit he’d join in on the collective teasing. Though he very much know’s said Champions and a little too much then he’d like. So he’s suffering so much on the inside.
“I like Alder, too.” Lillie offered hesitantly. Biting her bottom lip just a tad as she eyed whatever was currently on her phone screen.
Ash blue screened, unknowingly dropping his empty cup onto his foot. His brain only returned back to the living when Mallow and Lana both let out an unholy screech. Launching themselves onto Lillie and shaking the poor girl in their excitement. somehow neither Kukui or Olivia come running after the girls' dying noises that absolutely echoed down every hall of the Pokémon Center, leaving Ash to deal with the class of apparently very horny teenager’s.
Even Pikachu wasn’t with him. Choosing to sleep in and leaving his Trainerto fend for himself against the onslaught. Ash is at least thankful that their attention was dragged away from him for the time being. His foot throbbed from being the cushion for the previously fallen cup, leaving it unshattered and resting a few inches away.
“Okay, but Alder isn’t the sexiest.” Sophocles was most likely the worst voice Ash could have focused on in that moment. Especially because of the still ongoing topic. “It’s gotta be Diantha!”
“Are you saying that because she’s hot,” Lana’s voice gained this certain edge to it that Ash had scrambled to grab the fallen cup and get out of the kitchen before Lana finished, “or are you saying that because you wanna bang her Gardevoir?”
He was too late.
Ash didn’t know whether to gag or wheeze due to a nervous breakdown. So his body did it for him by choosing to do both at the same time. Making this disgusting noise that some-fucking-how attracted all five student’s attention back to Ash.
“Ash! Who’s the sexiest Champion!”
“No comment!” Ash repeated his earlier comment. Just obviously louder.
He was able to get across the dining area and out of the room before any of the five could get up and black his path. Hoping and praying that the class would drop the subject indefinitely or something along those lines
Again, Ash’s luck is very shitty.
------
ElectricMouse @Elecyman
So our class is debating who’s the sexiest Champion
and we asked Ash and he won’t answer us.
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ChefWeed @FoodForThought
Sophocles!!!! We’re in class!!!
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SweetSea @SeaweedBrain
But like… Soph’s not wrong tho Ash won’t answer
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ChampLance @Champion.Lance
He’s known me the longest, so it’s definitely me
-------
Ash knew the moment he was paired up with Mallow he was fucked.
They were given tasks to go find items to make curry and since the class was uneven, as Olivia paired students by two’s, that meant Ash had to join in. The woe’s of a Teacher’s Assistant.
At least he doesn’t have to do anything. Leaving the actual picking and problem solving to Mallow. He was actually pretty entertained by just the newest addition to the class, Rockruff.
The pup was a scrappy little thing, a runt from what Typhlosion expressed after bringing it from wherever the volcanic Pokémon found it. She had taken a keen interest so Ash had agreed to be the temporary guardian and main caretaker until Rockruff was able to be fully back on its own.
It or she, Ash should start referring to Rockruff like that instead of an it, had endeared herself quickly to the class last night as well as Ash himself. Though that wasn’t the problem that had reared its ugly head.
The problem was the atrocity that was on Mallow’s phone, the one that she had basically shoved into Ash’s face. Almost knocking off his sunglasses in the process.
“The Champion’s saw Sophoclese’s tweet.” Mallow stated. Like it wasn’t obvious as Ash scrolled down a little more on whatever app a tweet belongs too. “Now their debating on who’s the sexiest.”
“I don’t even know Leon! And who is Geeta?” Ash stressed before pausing. Looking upon a hill full of leafy green heads that look a little too green despite Alola being… well Alola. “Also I think Olivia gave us the hardest path.”
Mallow couldn’t even begin to question what Ash ment before the Ta kicked up a rock with his foot, somehow balancing it on top of his shoe while baking away from Mallow, before launching it towards the hill.
Both watched as a Fomantis popped up from the little hole it dug itself. Using its sickle-like claws to grab the rock and launching it back towards Ash and Mallow.
The girl screeched. Backpedaling away as the rock was thrown back much faster then Ash kicked it. Luckily it flew way above their heads, unluckily it hit the ground about three inches from where Rockruff was sniffing a different plant.
“Ash!” Mallow called out. Pointing to the now enraged puppy, who was charging towards the hill at full speed.
Ash didn’t even acknowledge her as he let the runt bypass him. Watching idly with a poker face as a closer Fomantis popped up. Hissing at Rockruff and furling its leaves to make itself bigger. Rockruff yipped, sliding to a stop before hightailing it back to Ash, tail tucked between her legs.
“We could just go to a market or something.” Ash offered. The true level of how tired he was reflecting in his tone of voice. “Olivia most likely won't notice.”
“You really aren’t a good role model.” Mallow had meant it in a joking manner but was surprised when Ash nodded his head in agreement.
“Damn right, I’m not. This is why I’m Kukui’s assistant and not a Teacher myself.”
------
ChampWallace @Champion.Wallace
Alder shouldn’t even be a choice fr tho,
obvs Ash would pick me as the sexiest Champion
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StoneMan @StoneSteven
I’m BEGGING you to focus on your work
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ChampWallace @Champion.Wallace
You’re just mad that I beat you and you’re
No longer an option for Ash to choose from
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StoneMan @StoneSteven
Yes, I am, now pls go back to work
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ChampDiantha @Champion.Diantha
Lmao Ash probably doesn’t recognize you
anyways Wallace. You aren’t competition so sit down
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StoneMan @StoneSteven
DIANTHA PLS
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ChampWallace @Champion.Wallace
Now those are fighting words, you crusty baguette
------
Ash and Mallow were able to get past the Fomantis hill, it took a couple of tries before they succeeded in the end.
He had made a deal with Mallow that if she stopped talking about this whole ‘who sexier then who’ debate then she’d have Ash’s Pokémon at her disposal. Excluding Rockruff who’s doing a perfect imitation of an angry Totodile. Trying her best to wiggle out of Ash’s arm’s that were trapping her close to his chest.
Pikachu had chosen to ride on Mallow’s shoulder’s for the meantime. Acting like a hat to block the bright-ass sun and also to get away from Rockruff’s snapping jaws of doom.
“So we got the Mago Berries.” Mallow had chosen to talk out loud despite knowing that Ash wasn’t going to respond. “I need Revival Herbs next.”
“Pika.” Pikachu piped up. Looking almost pleased as Mallow shared the next ingredient.
Ash silently watched as his buddy slipped off Mallow’s shoulder. Falling to the ground and doing a quick roll to get himself back on his feet. Beckoning for the girl to follow him with a couple bobs of his tail. He followed right after her, fluffy Sandile and all.
The scene in front of Ash was actually really cute. Mallow and Pikachu conversed easily as the mouse led the group over to a tall rocky mound. Pointing a paw at a sizable crack in said rocky mound.
“Oh wow!” Mallow breathed in wonder as she leaned in and peaked into the crack. “That’s definitely revival herbs! Good job, Pikachu.”
-------
AmBaby @MegaDragon
Seeing Champions argue over which one
is the sexiest wasn’t on my bingo card for this year
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YouAreBaby @BabyChespie
Their arguing over which one of them
ASH would chose to be the sexiest
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AmBaby @MegaDragon
THAT’S WORSE MAIRIN
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YouAreBaby @BabyChespie
At least it’s not the villains
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AmBaby @MegaDragon
Okay now I want to actually gag
---------
The group found themselves in a clearing in the forest. Thankfully Rockruff had found her calling as a Diglett sniffer and holy shit, Alolan Digletts are so weird.
Ash didn’t voice his thoughts. He hadn’t spoken a lot today actually. This is probably the longest he’s gone silent since arriving in Alola. Mallow must have thought the same as both she and Pikachu had been sending glances back at him.
He’d seen flashes of Mallow’s phone every now and then on their little quest. Especially when she pulled it out and turned on a flashlight in the tunnels to help follow after Rockruff. Which, Ash wasn’t gonna lie, that was pretty cool. He doesn’t have a flashlight ability on his old Kalosian Pokedex but he does have pikachu who can use the move Flash. So to each their own.
Either way, they found themselves in a lush clearing full of beautiful flowers. Close to a large stump. Hollowed out and filled above the brim with berries.
Mallow gasped and pointed towards the pile. Causing Ash and Pikachu, who had both been scouting the area’s for danger, to look over to the student. Who was already making her way to the pile.
“I see some Miracle Seed’s!” Mallow’s excitement obviously caught up with her. Happy that she and Ash could finish this quest and head back to the Pokémon Center and tired from what seemed to be walking the whole length of Akala in one afternoon. “Come on Ash-”
She moved forward and more into the clearing before Ash could stop her. Feet crashing down on the uncut grass and onto a hidden twig. The cracking sound seemed to echo in the clearing much louder than Mallow’s voice had.
There was a bright glint that shone across the clearing. A blink and you miss it kind, which in Ash’s Opinion? Was the most dangerous.
“Mallow!” he shouted and lunged forward without a moment of consideration. Basically wrapping himself around Mallow before bringing them both crashing down onto the forest floor.
Ash blocked the girl’s sight. Tucking Mallow’s head to his chest just in time to blind her from seeing the Solar Blade that shot just right above them. Little licks of sun colored power echoed close to the laying pair but not close enough to touch them thankfully. Letting go and scrambling up onto his feet just as Pikachu and Rockruff slid in front of him.
“Stay down.” Ash ordered just as he growled “Rockruff, your injuries are still fresh.”
She barked back at him, which was totally a slur of some kind from the way Pikachu shot a shocked and concerned glance at Rockruff and his trainer. That will definitely be something he’ll have to touch upon later but right now survival is the only thing on his mind.
“Lurantis!”
A giant bug looking Pokémon revealed itself by stepping out from the thick wall of ivy curtains. A couple of Fomantis skittered out behind the larger Pokémon ’s legs.
“Is that a Totem Pokémon ?” Ash asked. He’s heard about them in passing when he’d occasionally focus in on Kukui’s daily lessons but that was about it on Ash’s knowledge.
“Yes!” Mallow gasped for air as she propped herself up. Thankfully staying low behind Ash’s body. “And that's a Lurantis, the evolved forms of Fomantis, and are extremely dangerous.”
“All Pokémon are dangerous.” Ash muttered to himself. Thankful that his words didn’t echo despite knowing that Pikachu would agree with him without hesitation. Mallow and Rockruff would most likely be offended and Ash didn’t need to add more struggle to the chaos that was starting to unfurl.
He and Pikachu were already tired from last night.
“What type is it?” Ash asked. Tensing as the Totem Pokémon advanced more into the clearing. He wanted it to back up so it wasn’t going to be under direct sunlight, from that strong ass Solar Blade it was already going to be a tough opponent to defeat.
“It’s just a grass type.” Mallow thankfully got the bright idea that she should back away from the impending fight. Staying low to the ground and scooching until she could hide behind the hollowed out tree stump.
Lurantis saw the whole thing, despite Ash comically waving his arms to keep the Totem’s attention on him, and did not like what Mallow was doing. Crying out in anger and sending two Fomantis running towards the tree stump with a point of its blade.
“Ash!” Mallow cried as she watched the two sickle grass Pokémon quickly advance across the clearing. Looking towards the Ta with clear terror in her eyes.
Ash once launched himself again, getting between the Fomantis and Mallow himself before Pikachu could follow.
“Rockruff, stay by Mallow’s side, you’re our last defense.” Ash prayed to a litany of Legendaries as he watched the rock type scramble her way to the girl’s side. Barking and snarling while backing herself up to Mallow’s legs. “Pikachu!”
Since they’ve been by each other's sides for about longer than a decade, it was easy for Pikachu to understand what Ash wanted him to do by just the call of his name.
Strong strikes of electricity zapped across the air as Pikachu let loose a Thunderbolt. Paws hitting the ground as he dug his claw’s in deep into the rich dirt. Swinging himself from facing the now fainted Fomantis pair and towards the raged Lorantis. Pikachu was able to duck in time as another Fomantis had sneaked up on the mouse. Slicing through the air and just barely missing Pikachu’s ears.
The usually shink! sound and soft silver glow filled the air as Pikachu used Iron Tail to knock back that Fomantis. Sending the poor thing flying across the clearing back to where Lurantis was and into a tree hollow.
Pikachu used this time to take a breather. Though just as he took a deep breath,using moves that rapidly and so soon without time to prepare takes a lout out of him okay, two more Fomantis popped into his vision. Advancing quickly upon Pikachu who was ill prepared.
“Pikachu!” Ash called out as he noticed Pikachu was sent back a few feet. Luckily his buddy was able to twist in the air after hitting the ground once, landing on his feet and shooting forward.
Pikachu won’t be able to get to Lurantis in these conditions. It was like the entire forest were crawling with Fomantis and all of them just decided that they fucking hated Pikachu.
“Ash!” Mallow called again and the poor Ta’s heart sank at the thought that a Fomanis or maybe even another Lurantis had gotten to the girl. “Lurantis is calling upon Fomantis as an ally! That’s why so many are coming out to help the Totem!”
Ash’s worries were unfounded as he shot a glance over to the green haired student. Seeing with his own eye’s that Mallow was obviously fine.
“Well then,” Ash sniffed and reached for the Pokeball’s on his belt, “Then I’m calling an ally of my own. Go, Typhlosion!”
Typhlosion erupted from her ball in a swath of fury and flames. It was apparent she was already well aware of the deadly situation at hand, good. That’s exactly what Ash was hoping for.
“Pikachu, take care of the Fomantis. Typhlosion, I need you to go for the Lurantis.” Ash ordered. “Make it back up into the shadow’s it crawled out of and be wary of its solar blade!”
Lurantis had only attacked once in the beginning before calling upon its army of allies. The attack was still powerful so Ash wanted to warn the fire type before Typhlosion was caught off guard. It seemed to have backed itself up in the midst of Pikachu trying to gain ground over the attacking Fomantis, beady eye’s choosing to train themselves on the two human’s instead.
Ash had caught on quickly even though he didn't truly know what the large Totem Pokémon was planning. As long as he kept Mallow safe then Ash was okay. It almost looked upon them with a critical and skeptical nature. Causing Ash’s skin to prickle with goosebumps every time Lurantis eye’s turned back onto him.
Typhlosion put a quick stop to that.
A large burst of fire ripped itself out of the volcanic Pokémon ’s mouth. Like Typhlosion had reached into herself to bring the flames to life. It was a glorious sight to see if they weren’t actively being hunted.
A lot of Fomantis were caught in the crossfire and Ash couldn’t help but wince in sympathy. He’d been on the receiving end of some very weak burst of flames and they still hurt like a bitch, to feel it caress your entire body in a moment’s notice… Ash was gonna puke if he continued to think about it.
Shaking his head, Ash was able to see a clear path towards Lurantis who just barely dodged the flames. Glaring at Typhlosion from the forest shadows where it had to retreat. In a blink of an eye Lurantis was in the shadows and then right in front of Typhlosion. A scythe raised just as it glowed green.
Leaf Blade.
Typhlosion won't be able to dodge it in time, Ash thought quickly. Just as time seemed to slow down but he remained the same. If Ash wasn’t so used to legendary intervention bullshit-ery then he’d most likely freak the fuck out right now. But again, he’s used to it.
“Ty!” Ash called out. Feeling time itself starting to quicken back to its normal pace. “Use Inferno!”
Just as time caught up to where it was supposed to be, the area was filled almost to the brim with bright light. Usually it would have been Pikachu’s electricity blinding Ash. little zaps echoing off the impromptu battle field and up Ash’s body but instead the heat felt worse then Alola during it’s supposed hottest days. Stealing the breathable air and only leaving behind the burn ashes of it.
The move didn’t last long, not even staying in the air for a half a minute, before Lurantis dropped to the ground. All but a burnt krispy husk.
“Mallow?” Ash called out just before Typhlosion let out an eardrum popping roar. “Not cool!” he yowled. His voice is somehow louder than his fire type.
The volcanic Pokémon immediately cowed itself. Realizing that she went a step too far.
“Ow,” the girl whined and Ash’s attention was back on her, “that was loud.”
From what Ash could see Mallow had tucked herself fully behind the hallowed trunk, thankfully grabbed Rockruff before she could join the fight and get burnt to a krispy runt-sized snack. She was still crouched down. Knees and elbows digging into the dirt as Mallow kept a tight grip on the wiggling puppy.
“Just… just stay down for now, Okay.” he ordered. Jogging closer to the student to see if there were any visible marks on her. Quickly deducing that Mallow was far enough from the fight that nothing could have touched her.
Pikachu, on the other hand.
“Pikachu!” the mouse screeched from where he was blown back across the clearing. Completely covered in soot from the tip of his nose to the end of the fur on his tail. Completely enraged.
No one in Alola had witnessed it before but anytime Pikachu gets really angry and he and Ash weren’t in mortal danger, Ash can’t help himself.
A snort was able to work its way out of Ash’s mouth before he could stop himself. Hands slapping over his lips in hopes to try and keep himself quiet as a maniacal-like laughter bubbled up in his chest.
Mallow hadn’t looked up yet. Heeding to Ash’s order to stay put but her worry spiked when she felt more then heard Ash fall to his knees. Choosing not to voice her opinion in the likes it’ll be unheard over whatever Pikachu was raging against.
It also was a very morbidly funny sight to see Pikachu climb on top of the Lurantis husk just so he could continue to chew Typhlosion out.
-------
ChampLance @Champion.Lance
Can we all just stop arguing for a moment
to address that something Ash related has happened
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ChampWallace @Champion.Wallace
Hate to agree but this feeling definitely has Ash
written all over it for sure
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ChampCynthia @Champion.Cynthia
My chest literally constricted mid breath and I felt like I was dying
for a hot moment
BeFlareon @E4.Flint
Just watched our lovely @Champion.Cynthia
drop to the floor mid breath *Jpeg.Picture of Cynthia flipping off the camera while kneeling on the floor, very obviously out of breath with many fly-away hairs*
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BeFlareon @E4.Flint
Where tf is Ash and what did he do now!?
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Cookster @CookieNCreme
Who was going to tell me Professor Kukui’s assistant
can caused almost every league member to panic and flood to Twitter
|
BeFlareon @E4.Flint
Oh @CookieNCreme I can tell you horror
stories for hours about one Ash Ketchum
----------
“We got everything?” Ash asked. Peaking into Mallow’s satchel that had the Mago berries and the revival herbs.
“Yep!” Mallow smiled brightly up at the Ta, her smile growing even bigger when Ash flashed his own little one back at her. “Luckily the Fomantis and the Totem Lurantis are fine as well!”
Mallow was in front of Ash so she didn’t notice the look that he shared with Typhlosion and Pikacu, who was hanging off the Volcanic ‘mon’s shoulder for the time being. Rockruff was just happy to run around the clearing. Sniffing at all the groggy sickle grass ‘Mon’s. Skittering between them all but staying clear of the huffy-puffy Totem.
All the grass types were brought back to life due to Ash’s aura, he still had an unnatural surge from last night’s event that was slowly going to waste anyway. Maybe this’ll teach the Totem to not be such a fucking asshole, even though Ash and Mallow did invade its home first.
Ash kept that little thought of him to himself. No need to face Mallow’s judgment if he muttered that outloud. Ash was already getting enough from the Pokémon he revived.
The pair waited to make sure the Fomantis were able to walk on their feet and in a straight line without help. It was Mallow’s choice and ever the dutiful Ta, Ash stayed right by her side, and it was totally not for the fact that Olivia would skin Ash if he came back without the student.
He shuddered at the thought of what Kukui would do to him as well.
The Totem didn’t seem to be bouncing back as quickly. Despite getting the largest portion of ash’s usable aura for the day. Groaning and swaying a little back and forth.
Ash kept an eye on it and Mallow who was crouched down and talking to a few Fomantis who stayed behind, curious about the human girl, before groaning. Feeling the tell tale signs of guilt bubble in the dark pits of his stomach and lungs. He tried to keep it at bay, rocking his head back and forth while thumping his right foot against the ground, before quickly living up. He approached Mallow and crouched down next to her. Opening up the satchel that Olivia had given to each pair before sending them off.
“Ash?” Mallow called his name in a questioning tone before her eyes dropped down to the bag. Curiosity making her green eyes shimmer or maybe it was the rays of the sunlight peeking through the thinned canopy of the clearing.
She cocked her head to the side slightly. Ash pointed towards the still groaning Lurantis. Getting up and letting his actions answer Mallow’s unasked questions. The clearing felt eerily silent once Ash was able to pick up an Oran berry and get in front of the Totem. Showing off his items slightly before pulling them back towards his chest.
He’s done this before, usually for Legendaries who've taken big hits to save him and his friends. A gift of thanks, if someone were to put words to his actions.
The leaf was much smaller than the oran berry, naturally. It didn’t stop Ash though as he infused just a pinch of Aura into the fruit. Stepping closer until he was in Lurantis space. Offering the… gift up towards the Pokémon ’s mouth.
“I know you meant well.” Ash mumbled. Leaning in close despite the fact that Lurantic can easily bypass the berry and chomp off his head instead. Not like it’ll last, at least. “You were protecting your space and your family. I’m not going to apologize for kicking your ass since you blasted Solar Blade towards my student of all people, but I am offering a truce.”
Lurantic cocked its head and looked deep into Ash’s eyes. Criticism and annoyance clear in its beady fucking eyes.
Okay, he can’t look at its face anymore. Less Ash either breaks down laughing or ends up punching the still hurt Totem.
“Just take the fucking berry.” Ash hissed through a tense smile. Forever thankful that Mallow didn’t have good hearing like him and Pikachu, who was totally making fun of him across the clearing to a snickering Typhlosion. “I don’t know about Mallow over there but hopefully you won’t be seeing my ass anymore, okay?”
Lurantis took another minute of just looking down on Ash before slowly leaning in. keeping the uncomfortable eye contact, that was extremely one sided and unfair, as it bit into the berry. Tearing just a bit of the revival herb away as well.
The Totem took the job of holding its food. No longer staring Ash down but kept the Trainerin its sight regardless. In the meantime Ash silently prayed that he’d never had to see a Fomantis for a long while.
“Ash!” Mallow’s tell tale squeaks of excitement usually caused a bloom of happiness to unfurl in his chest but right now it was causing disdain and violence.
He kept his cool regardless. Turning back and hiding his clenching fist’s in his sweat pockets to see a Fomantis, and a very big one at that, climbing up into Mallow’s lap. Chirping back as it burrowed into her lap more. The leaves on top of its head unfurling and puffing in obvious signs of joy.
“Can I keep them?” her Baby-Doll Eyes easily put both Max and Bonnie’s to shame. Crumbling all of Ash’s hard crafted walls in seconds. “Please!?”
Oh Arceus, you motherfucker.