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Mondstadt.
The capital of the godless nation. The city of bards and music. The city of wine and dandelions.
But above all, it was the city of freedom. Especially for Collei. She couldn’t hide a smile as she walked along the bridge above the Cider Lake, with its waters so clean that she could see the fish swimming under her feet. The tall walls that had once seemed imposing and forbidding, a sign she wasn’t welcome, now felt more like a warm blanket on a cold autumn night. The first time she stepped in front of that gate, she had been scared, wounded, distrustful, wrapped in bandages as much as she had been concealed within herself. She had been alone.
But now…
“Collei! I’m so happy you’re here!”
Collei tripped backwards with the force of Amber’s hug and, once she had her feet steady on the ground, hugged her back. She breathed deeply, letting the smell of wild plants and grass that was permanently stuck to her friend’s clothes fill her lungs.
“I missed you!” she replied joyfully.
Amber let go of her and held her at arm’s length, measuring her from head to toe.
“You’ve grown so much! And your hair looks so pretty!”
“Thanks. You haven’t changed a bit.”
Amber laughed.
“Tighnari, am I correct?” the outrider asked, turning to the two people standing behind Collei.
“That’s correct,” Tighnari replied, shaking Amber’s hand. “You are Amber, if I’m not mistaken.”
“The one and only! And you must be Cyno.” He nodded, not uncrossing his arms. “Collei talks a lot about you two.”
“Only good things, I hope,” Cyno replied.
“Absolutely! I’m so glad you’re all here! The more people in the festival, the better. Come with me, Acting Grand Master Jean is excited to meet you.”
The three followed the outrider as she rambled on and on about everything she could remember having happened since Collei had left for Sumeru. She, on the other hand, only listened, focusing on the smells and the sights of the city. It wasn’t much different than she remembered, aside from the festival decorations. The antiques store was in the same place, the library hadn’t changed its sign, Katherine. A delicious smell of Fried Eggs and steak was coming from the Good Hunter, reminding the girl that she hadn’t eaten in a while. As if agreeing, her stomach growled.
“Oh, right, you must be hungry…” Amber realized. “Do you guys want to eat now or would you rather do that after meeting up with Master Jean?”
“Oh, I can wait,” Collei replied quickly. “Master Jean must have a lot of work to do, I don’t want to keep her waiting.” Tighnari and Cyno agreed.
“Alright, then. Right this way.”
They headed to the staircase behind the fountain and Collei halted. Above them, watching over the entrance of the city, were two Fatui.
Hatred was a word that Tighnari often judged to be too strong to be used with mundane inconveniences. But the Fatui were not an “inconvenience,” and Collei hated them. Everyone should hate them, that was her personal belief.
Her pause didn’t last longer than a second, and she continued following Amber.
Acting Grand Master Jean and Lisa, the witch librarian, seemed very happy to see her, leaving Collei a bit embarrassed. Considering how helpful they had been to her, remembering her behavior when she’d met them made her stomach churn with shame. But they congratulated her on her progress to becoming a Forest Ranger, were very happy when she told them her illness had been cured (she believed that Amber had already told them, but decided to share the news anyway) and wished her a good Windblume Festival when the visit was over.
“She looks tired,” Tighnari commented on the way out of the Knights of Favonius Headquarters.
“Well, she’s the one in charge of everything that happens,” Amber mused. “We, other knights, do all we can to help her, but there are many things that depend solely on her. We’ve been trying to convince her to take the holiday off, but she refuses to accept that she needs to rest…”
Collei watched a trio of bards arguing next to the statue of the Anemo Archon. On the other side of it, a fourth bard, dressed in green, was playing for a crowd. He looked somewhat familiar, but she felt like they had never met before.
“You’re going to love Sarah’s food,” Amber was talking to Tighnari and Cyno as they returned to the area close to the gates. “It’s delicious, traditional… unmissable!” When they got to the top of the last staircase, Amber hopped in place.
“Oh, there are so many people down there… I’ll go try to secure a table for us!” Without waiting for an answer, she was darting ahead, her headband bouncing in the wind.
“Energetic, that girl,” Cyno commented.
“Indeed. Well, I’d assume Mondstat wouldn’t appoint just anyone for the position of outrider…”
“Collei, are you sure she’s that friend of yours? Didn’t you get her mistaken?” Tighnari elbowed him.
Collei was about to retort when she heard a sound. A laughter. A voice that made every hair on her body stand on end.
She stumbled backwards, looking frantically for the origin of the voice. The antiques shop. Ginger hair, gray clothes.
Those boots… They were the first thing she had seen of him.
A stench of dry blood, bile, urine and excrement invaded her nostrils, assaulting her lungs. Collei’s legs froze in place, her knees weakened, but she was unable to fall or run.
He had been accompanied by Il Dottore. He had been there to see them.
Someone called her name, but she couldn’t utter a response. Her throat was dry, her lungs held still by the intensity of the stench. Her stomach twisted and churned violently.
She had looked up from the floor and seen his shoes.
Collei bent over and threw up.
She had slowly lifted her eyes, incurious, not wanting to see who had been there to watch and poke her like a zoo animal.
Her name was yelled again.
He’d had a strange vision pinning his scarf in place. Unlike the others, he hadn’t been smiling. Hadn’t been laughing at them.
The Fatuus turned around. His eyes met hers — cold, dead blue eyes, opaque irises that had glowed so intently when she had been dragged screaming onto a table and…
She threw up again. The stench was stronger, but another had joined it — burnt flesh. Collei hugged herself, nails digging into her shoulders, and braced herself for the shocks.
The Fatuus took a step in her direction and her feet unglued from the ground; every muscle in her body yelled only one thing:
Run.
She tried to turn around, but her boot hit the stair’s step and she fell on her back.
She barely registered the pain. The Fatuus was kneeling in front of her.
Stay away, stay away, STAY AWAY , she tried to beg, but her lungs wouldn’t work. She couldn’t breathe. Everything she could hear was the machine charging.
The Fatuus stretched out his arm. Please, please, please no, no, please…
His hand touched her shoulder.
Collei squeezed her eyes shut and screamed.
She didn’t remember what happened next; when she realized it, Collei was waking up in a comfortable bed, under warm and cozy blankets. Some people were talking around her. She slowly opened her eyes.
“Oh, thank Barbatos! Collei, can you hear us?”
She blinked. Amber. That was Amber, leaning close to her with one hand supported on each side of her body. Tighnari was sitting on a chair right next to her head. Cyno was standing by the window, looking at her with concern. Aside from them, the room was empty.
“I’m… yeah…” She tried to sit up, but her head ached as if a needle were crossing her skull.
“Calm down, Collei,” Tighnari’s comforting voice said. “You’ve hit your head. It’s nothing serious, but it will hurt for a while. You should lie back down.”
She still wanted to keep standing, so Amber pulled her pillow up and helped her scoot closer to it.
“Where…”
“A room in the Knights’ HQ,” Amber answered. “Don’t worry, you can stay here for as long as you need to feel better.”
The door suddenly opened, making Collei jump. A girl with green hair and dark blue clothes came in, left a cup on the drawer next to the door and disappeared again. Cyno walked there and brought the cup over.
“It’s tea,” Tighnari explained. “It’ll make your head stop hurting. It also may make you sleepy.”
When Cyno was sure she wasn’t going to drop the cup, he went back to his place near the window. Amber looked at each of the three.
“Do you want us to stay with you?” Tighnari asked. She shook her head. “Alright. We’re going to let you rest now. If you need anything, just call and someone will come over. A healer will come check on you later, alright?”
Collei didn’t stop them from leaving. When the door closed behind them, she placed the cup on the bedside table next to her.
Her eyes ached. She hugged her knees and placed her forehead on top of her arms and felt the blankets instantly become wet. She muffled her sobs against the fabric, half devastated and half hating herself. She’d thought she was free from that. She could already stand close to Fatui officers without completely losing her mind like that, why was that one different?
The memories of when she first met him flashed through her head again, increasing the rate and intensity of her sobs. Vivid memories like she hadn’t had in years.
“It’s over,” she muttered, angrily trying to stop herself from crying. “Stop thinking about that. Dottore can’t find you anymore. It’s over.”
When she managed to stop crying, her tea had already cooled down.
On the first day of Windblume, the Traveler arrived. Collei had been standing near the fountain, thinking about the piece of paper she had found, when she saw her coming in through the gates. With a smile beginning to spread across her face, Collei began to walk towards her, but someone else got to her first.
The redhead Fatui walked over to Lumine, grinning and waving in a friendly way. The Traveler seemed surprised, but didn’t return the smile. Actually, Collei noticed her hand casually rested over the hilt of her sword. Yet, they started chatting, and he even got her to laugh once or twice.
“I’m going to meet up with my friends now, Childe ,” she said.
“Shouldn’t we be keeping an eye on him?” Paimon questioned her, giving the so-called “Childe” a suspicious look.
For a brief second, so quickly that Collei wasn’t sure it really happened, he glanced at her.
“Nah, go see your friends. I’ll try not to cause trouble. Promise.” The Traveler stared at him for a few seconds, trying to distinguish a lie behind his words. “Look, it’s not everyday I get a chance to visit a Mondstadt festival. I’m not about to waste this. So trust me.”
She finally seemed satisfied and said goodbye, turning to walk along the main street.
Collei didn’t know what to think. Was she friends with him? Hm, no, she looked too wary of him for that. But he seemed to be very friendly to her. Why? Lumine had shared with her and Tighnari some of their encounters with the Fatui, and most of them ended with a pile of bodies on the floor. She was their enemy, and a powerful one at that. Why would he not have any enmity toward her?
By the time the Traveler and Paimon had arrived close to her, the seriousness on their faces was gone, replaced by a smile.
Late that night, she rolled around in bed, restless, trying to find a position that finally made her comfortable enough to sleep. But her head was filled with memories, repeating over and over again, trapping her mind in a spiral of despair.
She got up, walking as silently as she could, so as to not wake Amber or her mentors up, put on some clothes, and left the house.
The night was calm, cool, with a light breeze blowing against her face. Collei closed her eyes and let the wind distract her from her obsessive thoughts.
She leaned against the parapet near the Teleport Waypoint, watching the dark main street, empty except for the guards walking around.
Faster than she could control herself, her entire body hid behind the parapet, her heart beating wildly. He was there . The ginger Fatuus. Sitting on the edge of the fountain, cleaning what seemed to be a long, fancy blue dagger. What was he doing there? Was he following her? No. Collei tried to calm her breaths, before he noticed she was there, and think rationally. He was there when she got there, how could he be following her?
“Ah, you’re here!” he said cheerfully, sending a shiver up Collei’s spine. Shortly afterward, Lumine’s voice replied:
“Can’t let you go around like a loose rabid dog, can I?”
“Where’s the flying one?”
“Asleep. It’s been a full day for her.”
“And what were you doing?”
“Clearing hilichurl camps at Amber’s request.”
“And picking dandelions.”
“No!”
Collei spied over the parapet in time to see him stretch out a hand and take something from her hair. He blew it away and smiled.
“I blew it away by accident, wasn’t going to waste a dandelion seed. Those things are limited.”
He chuckled.
“Well, let’s go, then. I’ve got things to do early in the morning.”
Collei noticed a blur moving in the darkness of a roof. She couldn’t see it very well because of the light from the streets, but it seemed to have a red mass falling over a black, or at least very dark mass. It could just be her brain playing tricks on her, though.
Lumine continued:
“I thought you were on vacation.”
“A bit of both. Technically, I’m here for a quick mission, but I got permission to stay and enjoy the festival.”
“Hm. And what about Collei?”
Collei froze.
“Who?”
“The girl you scared into screaming on the plaza.”
The Fatuus stopped walking.
“What about her?” he asked slowly.
The Traveler had a fierce look on her face, helped by the angle of the light coming from above her head.
“Childe, if I learn that you laid a finger on her…”
Collei remembered then: the strange pin on his scarf wasn’t a strange pin, it was a Delusion. And he wasn’t just a Fatuus; he was one of their Harbingers.
What in the name of Lesser Lord Kusanali was someone like that doing in Mond? Why was the Traveler chatting with him so casually?!
“Hey, hey, hey! I don’t know what you’ve been hearing, but I didn’t do anything! She started freaking out, I tried to help, she… well, she freaked out more.”
“I swear that if you’re lying…”
“I swear in the name of the Tsaritsa that I didn’t do anything. Happy now? Can we go get that drink?”
They continued walking toward the Angel’s Share. Collei followed them with her eyes, until a person appeared next to her, so suddenly they seemed to have fallen from the sky.
She hurried to change her position, realizing how suspicious she looked, eavesdropping on the two like that, and looked at the newcomer, her face burning, already beginning to stutter an apology.
“You’re… Venti,” she said instead, looking at him.
“Correct,” he replied with a grin, crossing his legs on top of the parapet and leaning so far backward she thought he’d fall. “Did I startle you?”
“No…” Not at all, really, that’s why she was so surprised.
“It’s a bit late for a walk, don’t you think, Collei?”
“H-how do you know my name?!”
“Amber,” he shrugged. “Not to mention, you’ve been shaking the city up lately. Any luck with that mystery of yours?
“No… not really… And, to your first question, I couldn’t sleep.”
“I see.” He looked in the direction Lumine and the Fatui’s Harbinger had gone. “Trust me, I don’t like that he’s here either.”
“Do you also dislike the Fatui?”
His voice had become deeper, his eyes somber.
“They stole something from me. My reward for achieving freedom. The product of a sacrifice. And now I can’t get it back.”
She sighed.
“Well, we’ve got that in common. And I can’t get my ‘thing’ back either.”
He turned his head to her. His eyes had softened, but still held that hint of severity. As well as a question.
Collei didn’t know why, maybe it was sleep making her groggy, maybe she just… needed someone at that moment. But she continued talking:
“They stole my childhood. My happiness. My freedom. I thought I had gotten them back, but…” her voice cracked. “But… It’s useless… No matter how much time passes, I can’t… I can’t seem to just… let it go.” She reduced her voice to a whisper in order to keep her voice down despite the emotion. Tears restarted falling from her eyes, but she didn’t mind that the bard saw it. “I’m so… so stupid… it was so long ago… and I’m still… still crying about it like a baby…”
“The deeper the wound, the longer it takes to heal,” Venti mused. “If it still hurts, doesn’t that just mean it hasn’t healed yet?”
“But I can’t… can’t stand it anymore… You can stop a scratch from hurting with pills, but this… this… this thing just won’t go away.”
“Some people use alcohol. It’s basically what you’re looking for. But it won’t make you heal faster, and soon enough it’ll cause more problems than you’ve got now. It’s not worth it, trust me.”
He spoke with such raw honesty that Collei was shaken. She looked at him. He didn’t seem much older than her. What had he gone through in life to know that? Alcoholic parents? Or was that his own experience talking? No, that couldn’t be.
She looked at the dark sky, the stars twinkling in her tears.
“I just wanted to forget everything and move on with my life.”
“Those are opposites,” Venti said. “You know that. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be carrying the blessing of the God of Wisdom around.” Collei closed her eyes, a new wave of tears blurring her sight. “I assume you weren’t the only one to go through what’s still bothering you?” She shook her head. No, there had been others. So, so many others. “Forgetting everything may remove everything you feel and make you not know that happened, but will it change what happened to them? Even if it does, will it change what the person who did it to you did?”
She couldn’t reply for a few minutes, focusing on keeping her sobs as low as possible. When she managed to speak, her voice was nothing more than a strangled sound.
“It hurts. It hurts so much…”
Venti stretched out his arm. Collei didn’t think twice before burying her face in his shirt and letting him hug her.
When the Harbinger was heard again, she was sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the parapet, a soft melody coming from somewhere. He sounded much quieter than before. Collei covered her ears. The last thing she wanted was to hear his voice again.
She felt a hand on top of her head.
“Sweet dreams, child,” was the last thing she heard before her sight darkened.
She’d wake up in her bed hours later. Barbatos, however, kept listening.
“What else did you want me to do? She’s terrified.”
“I never thought you’d be that considerate to someone who’s scared of you.”
“Have you seen that girl?” he said in an insisting tone, looking at Lumine. “She’s still just a kid, but you can see she’s never had the free spirit of one.”
“You know her.”
“For the fifth time…”
“Tartaglia. Stop lying to me. I know you know her.”
He sighed and leaned on a lamp pole.
“I don’t remember her. But the clothes in this heat, the way she moves… she had Eleazar, didn’t she?”
Lumine nodded. “It’s cured now, but yes.”
“Has she ever told you how she kept it at bay for so long without it causing serious, permanent damage?”
“I know a few bits. Nothing too detailed.”
“All you need to know is that Il Dottore was involved. And I saw him running his… experiments . That girl must’ve been there the day I visited the lab. I don’t blame her for being scared. Sometimes I still catch myself thinking: what if it was one of my siblings in there? I’ve managed to keep them away from the army, but if anything like that happened to them…”
There were a few moments of silence. Only the wind blew, carrying the fragrance of windwheel asters across the city.
At last, the Harbinger spoke again:
“Teucer misses you. He asks me when you’re coming to visit every letter.”
Lumine took the chance to loosen the atmosphere.
“We’ll see. I’m going to Fontaine soon. Maybe I’ll pass by Snezhnaya next.”
“He’ll be happy to hear that,” the Harbinger said, with a smile audible in his voice. “Well, it’s getting late. I’m going back to my room. Care to join me?”
“Ew,” was Lumine’s sole response. He laughed.
“See you tomorrow, Lumine. Ah, and don’t forget our spar. You lost at TGC, after all.”
As he headed to the Goth Grand Hotel, the Traveler’s eyes found Barbatos’s. He didn’t make any noise or sign before getting off the parapet and walking away.
Collei carefully put the presents she had gotten in her backpack. Her conversation with Sucrose earlier was still on her mind. She felt like a weight had been taken off her shoulders, even though, thinking about it, it had been a bit improper of her to just drop all that over her after they’d known each other for… two, three days?
But Sucrose hadn’t reacted badly. Shocked, yes, but she just… listened. And the memories had, surprisingly, gotten slightly more bearable. Not gone, but… healing.
Collei smiled, putting the piece of paper she had given her, where her address was written, between the pages of her little notebook. If someone four years ago had told her she’d have that many friends by now…
Tighnari burst into the room, startling her into almost throwing the notebook through the window.
“Collei, we’re gonna be a few minutes late,” he said with urgency. “I may have picked a few too many flowers, and now I need to buy a new bag. I’ll be back as soon as I find it!” With that, he disappeared. Collei chuckled.
She closed her backpack and left it ready to be picked up on the bed. First, though, since Tighnari gave her a few minutes, she wanted to find someone.
He was in front of the Angel’s Share, reciting a rather gloomy poem to the Traveler. After she was gone, Collei approached him.
“Hi, Mister Venti. I came to say goodbye.”
“Drop the ‘Mister,’ dear Barbatos, you make it sound like I’m a grandpa.
“I also wanted to thank you. I was really in need of someone to talk to, and last night… you gave me the courage to finally open up to a friend.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be great at all to leave a friend of Mondstadt trapped in her own mind, would it?”
She smiled to herself. A few seconds later, she realized the bard was watching her while he took a long sip from his mug. She shook her head and looked away, trying to hide her blushing cheeks.
“Um… well… I… I also…” She cleared her throat. “I also wanted to wish you good luck. I don’t know what they’ve taken from you, but… I hope you get better.”
Venti smiled, after a moment of hesitation.
“Thank you, Collei. Truly.”
On her way back to Amber’s house, she stopped by the statue of Barbatos and placed a padisarah she had brought along with the many flowers around it.
“Thank you, Barbatos. Thank you, Mond, for showing me the path to freedom once again.”
When she walked in through the door, Tighnari was trying to close his flower bag.
“We’re leaving,” he announced.
“I’ll go get my things.”
“Oh, Collei,” Cyno said, “someone left a box with your name at the door. I put it on your bed.”
Curious, Collei went to the room she had been staying in, and there was indeed a box right next to her backpack. It was pretty, wrapped with used wrapping paper. When she opened the paper, carefully so it wouldn’t tear, a card fell from it.
Happy Windblume Festival! This is my little brother’s favorite toy. I hope you like it as well.
— Childe.
The content of the box was the strangest thing she’d imagine giving to a child: a plush Ruin Guard.