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Izuku wasn’t an idiot, despite whatever Kacchan tended to think sometimes. He knew he was reckless with his life. He knew he was weak inside. But that’s why he had to be stronger. For everyone who relied on him. If he didn’t give every battle 110%, even if it meant his life, then what did that say about him as a hero? If he wasn’t willing to throw his tiny little life away for the sake of humanity, then how could he possibly hope to save people? How could he sleep with himself at night? How could he look himself in the eye when he caught sight of his scarred, haunted face in the mirror? What else did he have to hold onto when the static in his head got loud and the darkness crept into his heart, loneliness weighing on his chest like a heavy blanket pushing him down into the covers once more? He had nothing if not courage.
So why was Kacchan so angry with him? Didn’t he understand that this was Izuku’s duty to the world? He was given this gift, this power for a reason. If he didn’t push himself today even harder than yesterday, then there was no hope for the new Symbol of Peace after all.
What did it matter if he lost pieces of himself along the way? Izuku didn’t matter anymore. He was Deku. And Deku would keep everyone safe… even if it meant he broke every bone in his body and then-some. Nothing could stop him from his mission. Nothing except maybe… maybe this.
Maybe the terrified look in Kacchan’s eyes that was the first thing Izuku saw when he woke up.
“Deku,” he croaked, voice sounding strange and strained, his eyes uncharacteristically misted. “I thought I lost you.”
Izuku blinked the clouds from his vision. His head was pounding, and his throat was dry. And the fight? The villain? He honestly… couldn’t recall a thing. But going by the look on Kacchan’s face… it must have been close. Fuck. What did it matter anyhow? He won in the end.
“I swear to god,” Kacchan’s voice cracked quietly in the room, otherwise silent but for a softly beeping monitor. “If you ever pull some bullshit like that again, I’ll grant your death wish and kill you myself. Don’t fucking die on me, stupid Deku. Don’t you fucking dare.”
“K-“ Izuku coughed. “K-Kacchan,” he tried, but his throat felt like fire.
“Shut up, I’m not fucking done.” Kacchan breathed, nostrils flaring and fists clenching the fabric of his sweats tightly. “Don’t interrupt me when I’ve got important fucking shit to say.” He glared.
Izuku blinked back the rapidly swelling tears from his eyes and forced a shallow nod.
“Good,” Kacchan swallowed, getting up to pace a bit in front of Izuku’s hospital bed. “Just what are you trying to do, huh, Deku? You really trying to kill yourself? Or do you just care so little for your own life that it doesn’t matter at all to you if you live or die? Huh?” He stopped pacing and stared into Izuku’s tearful eyes with a startling pain. “Don’t you fucking get it, nerd? Don’t you understand that your life has meaning?”
Izuku couldn’t stop the soft sob that escaped his throat. “I’m sorry,” he choked out in a whisper.
“Yeah, well,” Kacchan growled, striding towards the bed and grabbing Izuku’s hand tightly. “You better be. And you better prove it to me. Because,” he stopped, breathing hard. “Because I can’t do this alone, Izuku,” he whispered back, fear in his eyes. “Don’t leave me, please. Not when… when I’ve just gotten close to you again. Fuck,” he paused, viciously scrubbing tears from his eyes with his free hand. “This is harder than I thought it would be.”
“What is?” Izuku cried softly. “Being close to me again?” He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to pull his hand back from Kacchan’s grasp, but his grip only tightened as he tried to struggle free.
“Stop that,” Kacchan huffed, tapping the back of Izuku’s hand with his thumb.
“Let go, Kacchan,” Izuku hiccuped. “Let go of me. I’m not worth all of this. Just go back to hating me like you used to. It’s easier that way.” He bit his lip to keep it from trembling.
“No,” Kacchan growled. “No I’m not letting go of you anymore, Deku. I’m not letting you out of my sight. I… fuck… I can’t lose you anymore. Don’t you understand how much you mean to me?”
“What?” Izuku breathed, opening his eyes tentatively and peering into Kacchan’s own. They looked vulnerable. Teary. And fearful. Kacchan shouldn’t be scared. Kacchan was the bravest person in the world. Kacchan was the strongest person he knew.
“I… fuck it,” Kacchan huffed, and the next thing Izuku knew, he was being kissed like he might just vanish into thin air in the very next moment. Kacchan was gentle, but it was like kissing a drowning man, breathing oxygen into his lungs, the last breath before being crushed in the depths of the ocean.
Izuku couldn’t think. He was in shock. All he knew was Kacchan. The light smell of caramel, his unique scent due to his quirk, permeated his nostrils and filled his lungs with love. The soft feeling of his lips on Izuku’s own, as he was kissed like nothing he’d ever known.
When Kacchan finally broke their lips apart, he was panting softly, just trying to breathe in the quiet, desperately searching Izuku’s face for his reaction.
Izuku couldn’t help the small wail from his voice as he cried softly, “Kacchan…”
Kacchan caressed his cheek with his warm fingers, wiping tears from his eyes and still looking anxious. “I’m here,” he breathed. “I’m not going anywhere, Izuku. And neither are you. Promise me. Promise me you won’t ever leave me again.”
“K-Kacchan,” Izuku choked out. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I never wanted to leave you. I just-“
“Shhh,” Kacchan hushed, brushing his bangs back and placing a soft kiss to his forehead. “I know. I… I’m here for you now, Izuku. Just please. Please let me get you some help. If not for yourself than do it for me. Because- I fucking love you too, okay?”
Even though Izuku didn’t think he’d ever cried harder, his heart swelled with gratitude and love in a way it never had before. “I- I promise,” he sobbed, and Kacchan kissed him again.
And Izuku knew there would probably be another moment someday when he faced a close call. But he intended to keep his promise to Kacchan.
They would face this together, hand in hand, as they always did.