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“He’s fine , Tech! Look!” Wilbur points to an empty space beside the white door.
Techno pinches his nose in…disappointment? Anger? Annoyance? Sadness? He’s not sure anymore. His emotions had been all over the place since-
“ He -” Techno waves his arms around wildly in the place his brother had gestured to, “-is not here anymore.”
His death hadn’t been easy on either of the brothers, especially Wilbur. The pair had been closer than anything Techno could even imagine having with one of his siblings. That’s not to say he didn’t love them–he did then and still does–but it’s not the same.
Every member of the small family had been seeing a therapist after…everything. Safe to say it worked better for some than it did for others.
“You know what? Fuck this. And fuck you. We’re out.” Wilbur mutters something afterwards that Techno couldn’t quite hear, but before he had another word, Wilbur was gone.
Techno cursed loudly to nobody but himself and the empty beige walls of his bedroom.
There was nothing he could do. Nothing could save his drowning brother from the angry tide of despair and he hated it.
His death was nothing short of a tragedy–to put it lightly.
Everyone thought that Techno had gotten over it but in reality, he never did. Emotions were the last thing he needed if he wanted to help his last remaining brother and father. So he shoved it all to the side and tried to push it all the way to the back of his mind.
From an outsider’s perspective, Phil looked like he took it well. Shockingly well. But Techno saw right through it; the missing pictures on the wall, waking up in the middle of the night to clattering downstairs, the emptiness in his joyful eyes. Though even through it all, Phil was an amazing father. Even if he was now missing a third of his life.
And Wilbur–oh, Wilbur. He took it the worst out of everyone. The man refused to eat for days on end and only left his room to use the bathroom. It was hard to watch, knowing that they couldn’t do much more to help than they already were.
But the worst part? Wilbur started seeing him .
It started with him just seeing something out of the corner of his eye, then a full person, then proper conversations.
Oh–and when did someone enter his room?
“Hey, mate.” His father’s calm voice pulled him away from his thoughts. Techno greeted him with a small nod of his head. Phil sighed and gestured towards his son’s bed, Techno nodded again.
Phil walked the rest of the way through the doorway, closing it softly behind him, and joined Techno on his bed which was far too large for a single person.
Come to think of it, everything felt too large for Techno nowadays; his bed, his room, the living room, the kitchen, the whole house. Tommy used to come into his room whenever he’d have a nightmare–that was the one thing Techno was better at dealing with than Wilbur.
Techno smiled at the thought of his little brother curled under his black duvet, looking forever peaceful with his blonde hair flopping over his closed eyes.
“Need something?” He raised an eyebrow at his dad who was now looking at him with an expression he recognised as sympathy. Ew.
Phil hummed, “Wil slammed his door again and figured you had something to do with it. Did I guess right?”
Then it was Techno’s turn to sigh ‘cause his dad was right– again. Curse this old man.
Said dad chuckled lightly, “Thought so.” He paused before opening his mouth again, “Are you okay?”
“When am I ever not?” Techno chuckled bitterly, Phil did not.
“Listen, Tech-” Phil extended his hands towards the other, and Techno hesitantly placed his own shaking hands in them. A father and son, connected by the bonds of tragedy. Poetic. “-I don’t know what happened earlier and it’s okay if you never plan on telling me, but please, talk to him.”
A switch flipped in Techno’s brain. Maybe it was the pure desperation in his dad’s voice or the calm grounding from his connected hands. Either way, he found himself nodding his head without a second thought.
“Atta boy.” Phil grinned, patting Techno on the back and pushing off the bed, his back cracking in the process.
Techno followed suit, “Told you that you were an old man.” He smiled. A real smile. The kind that squints your eyes and reveals your teeth. And when Phil turned to jokingly scold him, he mirrored it.
The hallway was quiet, too quiet.
When he had finally hyped himself up enough, Techno started towards the last door on the right. But Phil caught him first.
“No matter what, I love both of you.” Phil reminded him. He said it to the boys at least once every couple of days but it was always nice to hear. “I know it hasn’t been easy for either of you-” and Techno knew exactly what he was talking about “-but it will get better. I promise you it will.”
For the first time in years, Techno felt tears build in his eyes.
He tried to blink them away as quickly as possible but Phil saw it. Fucking damnit.
No words were spoken, but if Phil had extended his arms for a hug and Techno had fallen into it and clung onto him like a lifeline, then that was nobody’s business.
As his dad retreated down the hallway, Techno looked back at the door that he was supposed to knock on. God, it was Wilbur we’re talking about here. The nerdy, clumsy, annoying Wilbur that had lost almost all hope after the death of his brother. So why was Techno so scared?
Knock
Nothing.
Knock
Still nothing.
Techno almost turned around. In fact, he was already a foot away, ready to speed-walk back to the safety of his room.
That was until he heard sniffing from inside his brother’s room.
Here goes nothing I guess.
The door opened with a creak as Techno shuffled inside, keeping his movements slow.
“He’s gone, Tech.”
Techno looked towards Wilbur’s bed, or more so, the human-sized lump laying on it. He was covered in blankets and hiccuping violently.
“I know, Wil. I know.” Techno dragged his legs towards the bed, making sure to keep his footsteps loud enough so as to not startle his fragile sibling. “I’m here. It’s okay, I’m right here.”
Wilbur’s head slowly emerged from the blankets. His hair was messy and greasy, and his brown eyes were dull and wet from tears but it was still Wilbur.
Even after everything, they were still Wilbur and Techno.
It only took mere seconds of eye contact for the older to break down once again.
Techno was panicking now. He had no idea how to deal with this.
So he did the only thing he knew. He hugged him.
Wilbur’s frail arms wrapped around Techno’s torso and he buried his head so far into his shoulder, Techno was worried he might suffocate.
“It was all in my head, wasn’t it?” Wilbur managed between sobs.
Techno nodded, forgetting Wilbur couldn’t see it. “I’m sorry.”
The pair stayed like that for hours, wrapped in a fuzzy red blanket that used to belong to their teenage brother.
It wasn’t a pretty realisation. There was no way it could have been.
It wasn’t a pretty acceptance. Wilbur would never fully accept the fact that they fell from a 4 to a 3.
It wasn’t okay.
But it would be someday.