Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Damara

The Helmsman was grotesque.

Over 70% of his body had been devoured by the slick biomass of the ship's engine. Burrowing beneath his skin, embedding themselves into his brain and assimilating into his flesh until his legs and arms had been fully replaced by the organic machinery. Thick pink veins were spidering down his shoulders and torso, which once would siphon any and all psionic energy to feed the ship but were now inert and dull. The mocking fuchsia coloured goggles had been fixed to his narrow face for so long his skin had grown over parts of them. He was also very dead, yellow bloodstains still coating his mouth and chest from where the Vast Glub had forcibly expelled all his bodily fluids. He had been dead for sweeps. Six hundred and twelve sweeps to be precise.

At the moment the Handmaid's youngest self was leaping through the windows of Scratch's mansion, blissfully unaware of the futility of her actions, while her oldest self was fighting and dying against the Condesce.

She was going to die. She accepted that, welcomed it. But that fury of rebellion from her youth, which Scratch had thought he had beaten out of her, remained. That part of her that demanded she throw chairs and raise her middle finger at any and all opportunity. It remained, nothing more than a spark, and now looking upon the last of her wayward cross-dimensional companions the Handmaid decided to indulge the urge in her final moments. The last clarion call, a final fuck you to her masters.

She liked that.

In a different universe she had been a Witch of Time yet even with the destruction of that universe and her reincarnation and subsequent enslavement, her powers of the Game still remained. Echoes, no where near as strong if she was an active participant, an active player, but still enough. All her past life companions had that spark, the Sufferer with his memories and the Condesce with her ability to extend the life of the Helmsman beyond what any goldblood could endure. But for all the Condesce's ability she could extend life but not restore it.

But the Handmaid could.

While as a Witch her main power was in changing things regarding her aspect. Powers that Scratch had forced her to use to terrorize the troll race, to grant her the title of Demoness. Never before had she saved a life. She only used it to terrorize and kill, to utilization the time majyyks to ensure even more destruction and terror and bloodshed.

Now when she raised her wands, rainbow light flooding down her limbs and curling from her great curved horns, she carved the Helmsman's corpse free of the biotubes. She had to cut off his limbs and then reversed the time upon his corpse to make it in any way presentable rather than looking like a barkbeast's chewtoy. Had to peel off the goggles from his flesh, tossing aside the pink object with distaste. Outside she could sense the fight was coming to a close, could sense her younger self about to run into Lord English. She only had the time between those two simultaneous events for the job to be done.

A flare of witchery and the Helmsman's limbs were restored, back to the time before he was enslaved alongside his companions. Before the Signless became the Sufferer, before the Ψiioniic become the Helmsman.

And when an arm entered the vacuum of air above the Battleship Condescension, a curious alien sticking their limb into a juju made of time and space in a different dimension, she knew it was time.

The Handmaid flourished her wands, latching her latent witchery upon the wayward limb. She could not deliver the Helmsman, now breathing shallowly but alive and well and whole, to where the alien was currently sticking its arm into the juju but she could deliver the Helmsman to a different time with that same alien. A place just inbetween sessions where her antics would not be noticed and where Lord English could not reach and outside of Scratch's gaze and where a Witch already was.

A Witch of Time and a Witch of Space with an Heir of Doom and an Heir of Breath. Perfect combination for calamity.

With a final use of her strength she enveloped the unconscious troll in rainbow light and gone he was with only the empty section of the biomass engine any indication the Helmsman even existed. A brief glimpse into the timeline shenanigans with the ripples she had caused and she could see how much would change. Nothing more than a glance but it was enough before she was snapped back into the timeline to be her oldest self with a trident embedded in her chest.

And Damara died and it was with a smile on her face and spit in Meenah's eye.

Jade

Jade was excited.

Sure, John wasn't too wrong that three years was a large amount of time they were going to be stuck on the battleship but Jade knew everything would be alright- she had five worlds with her after all and now they could explore as much as they wanted without worry about dying in the Scratch at any moment! Being in a limbo dimension between the two session walls had its advantages.

Even if she had a feeling Karkat wouldn't appreciate the bucket to the face from John but whatever, Jade felt he deserved it just a little bit after his attitude throughout the Game. All that screaming and yelling and generally being rude.

The connection she had to the meteor was gone, both the battleship and meteor now heading to the new session, so that bucket to the face was all they would have to remember her and John by until they could meet up three years later. Jade was looking forward to it, she had gone over a decade without meeting her friends face to face so while it would be hard Jade knew she could handle it especially with John choosing to remain with her. She wanted to hug him lots but resisted the urge, for while he was her brother and one of her best friends, actually dealing with a person in the flesh was quite strange.

Around them space and time was blurred in yellows and greens, the ship keeping at perfect consistant speed as it headed towards the fourth wall on the other side. Jade felt a bit sad when she could no longer see Rose or Dave with her powers, hoping they were alright with being around the trolls while stuck on a dark rather boring looking rock for three years. At least Jade had the five planets they would be able to freely travel to. Even if Skaia had been partially on fire when she shrank it.

"Why don't we go explore the ship?" Jade said, catching John's attention from where he was peering over the side of the ship. "We should pick out our rooms! I'm guessing we'll use the ship as our new home, or base of operations or something. Um, unless you want me to zap you to your house on your world?"

Something flickered over his face before John shook his head, "It'd be easier if we all live here, right? And the imps trashed my house and there's holes in the walls and crap all over the place. Maybe later we can go there and look for any stuff but we can find some rooms here. Then we can alchemize stuff! Since I guess we've got three years of planning. Right Davesprite?"

The sprite, who still had those orange stained bandages wrapped heavily about his waist, gave a shrug, "I guess. Gotta find myself some new digs."

"I call the largest room," Jade said playfully.

"Oh no, I must interject!" Nannasprite suddenly appeared, a kindly smile on her wrinkled face even as her long blue sprite tail wrapped around the three. "You children are going to have a sit down and a nice meal before we do any of that. When was the last time you ate something? Besides junk food and snacks?"

"Uh guess when I ate that Cruxite Apple?" John shrugged. "Which didn't really taste like anything."

"Exactly!"

Around them the mass crowd of salamanders, crocodiles, iguanas, turtles and carapacians were beginning to dissipate. No doubt to explore the ship as well and Jade hurried called out to the crowd, leaving Nannasprite to start lecturing the two boys over proper meals even as Jade began to zap the crowd away to the planet they wanted. Maybe she was being possessive but the ship was going to the main place for her friends. Sure, she would be friendly to the consorts but she, John and Davesprite had first dibs on the place. And Jaspersprite maybe since he was hanging around even if Jade kept wanting to bare her teeth at him. But he was Rose's sprite so Jade wanted him safe for when they met up in three years.

She stowed away the five planets once she zapped away the last carapacian, leaving the deck of the ship bare except for the five of them. Two gods and three sprites.

"I think there's a kitchen down below," Jade floated down, her Witch's skirts billowing around her. Her frame glowed faintly as she took in all the space upon the ship, feeling the corridors and rooms and various windows and decks.

"Wonderful! I'm sure we can get some of that-"

Nannasprite's voice was abruptly cut off as a rainbow coloured rift appeared directly above them. Jade lurched backwards, Green Sun Streetsweeper appearing in her arms as she let out a startled bark. John and Davesprite similarly armed themselves, one with a hammer and other sword, even as cracks spread across the space as Nannasprite floated backwards while Jaspersprite's pink fur was on end. Jade frowned, trying to make sense of the glowing rift since it didn't seem to fit in the space. Like it was already there but not quite here but instead had already been there-

Then someone fell through the rift to land on the deck of a ship with a dull thud and just as quickly the rainbow tear vanished, leaving everyone staring at the new comer.

Jade remained tensed, the muzzle of the Streetsweeper glowing bright green as her finger hovered over the trigger but the person didn't try to get up or even move.

"Is that dude dead?" Davesprite asked, still holding his sword.

"No, I can feel him breathing. But he's a troll, right? He looks different than Karkat though," John floated forward, still holding onto the big blue hammer.

Jade put the gun back into her strife deck before also approaching the figure lying on the yellow deck. Her Witchy powers crackled at her fingertips but the troll wasn't making any attempt to get up or attack them. Was he even conscious?

Jade sniffed, ears going back. He smelled like blood, and a lot of it. "But maybe one could jump over the session briefly? I met Aradia and Sollux when I....when I..."

She squinted at the troll, at his four horns. After a moment she summoned a stick from within the ship and tentatively poked the nearest arm. All of them tensed, but the stranger didn't move or even react to her poking.

"He's way bigger than Karkat though," John said as he lowered his hammer. "And Karkat had grey skin. This guy's skin is pitch black and kinda shiny like a beetle."

"Maybe Karkat is just a mega runty troll. Like a teacup chihuahua or something. Would explain the bitchiness," Davesprite suggested.

Deciding to forego cautious, Jade knelt down next to the troll's head. To say the strange troll was tall was an understatement; if he was standing Jade doubted she would reach his hips. A mustard yellow flight suit clung to his body, with his arms bare to the shoulder. He had four horns jutting up from his hair that curved inwards slightly, narrow and even the shortest longer than her forearm. Jade had only just met humans so meeting one of the trolls in the flesh was exciting. Even if he didn't move when she poked him in the cheek. His skin felt very dense, with no give in it. Just like John said there was a sheen to his skin, like the shimmer of colours in an oil slick. Kanaya said trolls reproduced with the help of a Mother Grub, so maybe they really were bug people.

When she touched his short hair it felt immensely thick and bristly, like the mane of a lion. His breathing was shallow and far too quick.

"Shoo shoo, let me see him," the Witch leaned back as Nannasprite curled around them, her disembodied hand lightly pressing on the troll's forehead as her wrinkled brow furrowed in concern.

"I don't think he should be breathing like this," Jade frowned. The stranger was broad chested with wide shoulders but she could see the sweat dotting his temple like dew and his breathing remained fast. There were also strange scars running up his bare arms.

"Is that the Gemini symbol?" John asked, pointing at the troll's chest and the thick black lines cutting through the yellow of the flight suit. "That means he's a Game player, right? Since the trolls created our universe, the twelve of them."

"I think that's actually Sollux? But way bigger than I remember!" Jade said brightly, clapping her hands together as she put two and two together. "I met him and Aradia briefly when I had a nap before everything went crazy, just before Rose went grimdark. That when they told me about the dreambubbles!"

"Sorta like Skaia dreams?" John asked.

"Yeah, but memories and where dead and Doomed players and stuff hang out in," Jade said. "And Aradia showed me around with all those codes that made Lord English, that asshole demon who we'll have to fight in the next session. There was some other stuff but I woke up and everything was going crazy and Dave died and I died so I sorta forgot about it until now. But yeah, I'm sure this guy is Sollux! He's got the Gemini symbol and the four horns. Maybe there was timey stuff and he got old with the rift? Or he's from a different older session? I forgot to ask if the Sollux there was a Doomed one or not. So maybe this isn't the Doomed one and he escaped whatever happened by jumping here? And I only saw him in the dreambubble briefly so maybe the trolls look different when you're awake."

"Does that mean he's gonna hang with us on the ship?" Davesprite asked, the feathered ruff around his neck fluffing up. "Can't you set him free with his own kind, big dude would probably appreciate that a lot more than being stuck with a bunch of random aliens."

"Nope, that time has passed. I can't send him anywhere else, we're stuck together until we reach the next session," Jade shrugged. "But hey, that means we'll have a new friend right? I don't think any of us even talked to Sollux, besides my brief conversation."

"This poor thing. He absolutely reeks and is covered in blood. I fear where ever he came from he wasn't being treated too kindly," Nannasprite's sad tone made Jade's smile fade.

"We can take care of him," Jade said. "I spent my life on an island, I know first aid. Um, the flowers and herbs I would use might be destroyed but I'm sure we can alchemize something for his fever. There's healing items all over the place."

"First off, we need to get him cleaned up," Nannasprite said, wrapping her tail around the unconscious troll and gingerly lifting him. The troll hung limp like a ragdoll. "Jade, could you send us to one of the spare rooms? I did a brief stint in medical before I opened my jokeshop back when I was alive. And I think I have some ghostly healing properties as a sprite. We'll get him as right as rain."

"Okay!"

The room she shifted them to was quite barren but Jade felt that was best. She enlarged the bed- the only piece of furniture -until their unexpected guest could comfortably rest on it. At Nannasprite's ask, Jade zapped herself, Davesprite and John to the nearest alchemiter to get some new clothes for the troll.

Because he did smell rather disgusting. Jade remembered rolling dirt and being filthy while roaming the island with a dog for company so she wasn't too bothered by it but knew in polite company people should be clean and well groomed. And everyone felt better after a nice bath and new change of clothes.

It took the three of them nearly ten minutes to alchemize proper clothing for the troll, Jade having already memorized the space around his body so she knew his measurements but trying to make something with the Gemini symbol was actually rather difficult. Eventually they made several shirts and trousers- along with a pair of yellow shorts covered in pictures of daises -and some boots. They got distracted making their own outfits, Jade even making her own Zodiac jacket and skirt with the Sagittarius symbol since she was born first of December. She didn't even remember if she spoke to the Sagittarius troll. Which one was that again? Sollux was the Gemini but Jade didn't know if that even meant anything in the troll world, if it was just a human world reference. Kanaya's symbol just looked like a fancy M and Aradia had the Time gear.

Either way she also made a scarf covered in all the zodiac symbols, combining one of Rose's old scarfs and Christmas wrapping paper. Jade still wasn't too sure how that alchemy combinations worked since they seemed to just stuff things in there but it was fun all the same. She also scouted around her old house, grabbing the several first aid kits lying around just in case. She hoped they wouldn't have to use the dusty old taxidermy gear.

When she zapped them back Nannasprite had already tucked the troll into the bed, a blanket folded neatly around him with his arms lying across his chest. Jade noted how his yellow jumpsuit was in a basket to the side; it looked as if Nannasprite had to use scissors to cut it free of his body.

"Why does he have so many scars?" Jade asked, concerned as she put down the new clothes on the ground and handed the first aid kit to Nannasprite. They reminded her of lightning scars, narrow and spreading down the skin of his arms and face in webby silvery lines.

"Like I said, I don't think he was treated kindly from where he came," Nannasprite said, wrinkled face twisted into a deep frown. There were several empty boxes of blue gushers next to her.

"Everything Vriska told me about troll culture makes it seem awful," John said, floating closer. "She killed one of her friends because that was how it was supposed to go on the troll planet. The whole place sucks."

"Aradia seemed nice!" Jade said. Which...well, she was really one of the only trolls who seemed nice. Kanaya, when she helped with the frog hunting duties, but all the rest seemed awful.

Davesprite scowled and she remembered how that one girl troll, Terezi, had killed John in his timeline and Doomed it. He probably didn't like the idea of a troll being stuck with them for three years. Oh well, Jade wouldn't mind another friend and as a Witch of Space she felt that she could handle him if he woke up in a mood.

Nannasprite raised her hand, nearly touching the troll's sternum. Soft blue glowed over her hand, flowing into the troll like smoke.

Jade watched anxiously while John left the room in a flurry of air. Davesprite watched the scene from the corner, arms folded across his bandaged chest.

By the time John returned with a table, the troll's breathing had evened out and when Nannasprite wiped his brow the sweat didn't bead back up.

"I think that's helped," Jade said, focusing her attention briefly on one of the planets and effortless zapping a glass of water into her hand.

She put it on the table with the first aid kit, even as Nannasprite drew back the cloth.

"So you're a healer, does that mean my nanna in the next session is a Life player?" John asked, sitting crosslegged in midair as he watched.

"Seems like," Jade said. She wondered what her penpal, Jake, and what his aspect was. Or was going to be?

Nannasprite then carefully pulled the unconscious troll up against the pillows, his curved horns brushing against the wall. His cheekbones were sharp, features elongated. He also had four long, pointed ears like an elf. Two on either side. Jade's own furry ears twitched in interest; she hadn't noticed if Sollux had extra ears when she met him in the bubble. She hoped he remembered her when he woke up, it must be scary for him to be separated from his friends especially since they still didn't know how any of it happened.

"Well he seems stable now," Nannasprite said, after successfully getting the troll to swallow down the water. "But I can't say how he'll be when he wakes up, if he had a head injury or the like."

"We should watch over him in shifts," Jade suggested. "Just until he wakes up! He'll probably be really confused about everything. I can take first watch, since I met Sollux before. He might remember me if he's the same one."

"I never spoke to the guy," John shrugged.

"Okay so it's agreed. I'll send a message if he wakes up."

Nannasprite's disembodied hand ruffled Jade's hair, "Of course! Now, why don't you zap me to your world, dear? I can make a soup from those fresh vegetables from your house, we need to get a hold of them before they go off. It will be a long journey."

Jade perked up, "Oh right! If you put them in a captchalogue card and punch them with the Punch Designix we can keep on duplicating them. That way we'll still get fresh fruit and vegetables, my gardens won't survive because of the lack of sunlight."

That saddened her but Jade reminded herself she still had plenty of seeds. She could replant her garden once they finished the Game in the next session.

Nannasprite agreed to Jade's plan and insisted John and Davesprite help with Jade's own insistence she would be fine. She was Godtier now! And Sollux may be very big but he wasn't in Godtier pajamas. And didn't the trolls get wings? Aradia did, fluttery red ones that matched her outfit.

She shrank them down to her planet to harvest as much produce as they could. John would let her know once Nannasprite had whipped up some fresh soup for dinner and their guest. She didn't think trolls had any dietary problems but considering his fangs she would wager trolls were at the very least omnivorous.

She brought in a chair, settling down next to the bed where their impromptu guest was resting. She couldn't help but study him intently as he lay there, watching his slow, steady breathing and noting how the muscles on his explosed collarbone, shoulders and throat connected oddly; not like a humans anatomy. When she tentatively put her hand on the blanket next to his she could see how her entire hand from heel to fingertips wouldn't of even been the same length of his palm. Maybe Sollux and Aradia just looked small in Jade's dream? Kanaya had been taller than Jade when they passed through that bubble but she hadn't towered over Jade like the troll next to her would do so. She had also had light grey skin instead of the deep shimmery black and Jade had to wonder about that.

Still, they needed to wait for their guest to wake up before rummaging through her sylladex and grabbing one of her books- and the imps and frogs had trashed her house, ugh cleaning up was going to be such a pain -and settled down to read.

However apparently she did not need to wait too long for their guest to awaken.

Jade barely had time to jolt in her reading before she was seized in a cocoon of vibrant blue and red energy and hurled at the wall so hard her neck snapped with a dry crack. She crumbled to the floor, even as the room seemed to explode in a burning mass of energy.

Luckily being thrown into a wall and getting a broken neck was in no way heroic or just, so shortly after the incident a burst of rainbow light engulfed Jade's body and her eyes blinked open. The door had been smashed to splinters, the bed and blankets just tatters strewn across the ground as if shredded in a violent typhoon. Jade floated above the mess, hearing the crackling buzz of electricity nearby and the nearly overwhelming smell of ozone as her hair went on end.

"Well someone woke on the wrong side of the bed," Jade grumbled as she floated out of the room.

She found their visitor stumbling down one of the ship's corridors, the golden walls and ceiling groaning alarmingly from the energy reverberating from the troll. Even as she watched he tripped, talons skittering over the wall before he fell onto the ground. Jade hung back, unsure how to approach him as red and blue was lancing off him like forks of lightning and leaving scorch marks. However the way he was moving alarmed her, like he didn't remember how to use his arms and legs.

But what made her pause as he straightened up and she could see the bare, broad expanse of his back; dozens of ugly old scars littered the dark skin, long and stretching from his shoulders down to his pelvis. Narrow and uniform, criss-crossing each other in a silvery tapestry.

Like scars from a whip.

She landed on the ground, her sparkly red shoes making the slightest of noise as she stood on top of a slab of wall that had been near disintegrated.

Nonetheless the sound made the troll snap around, lips peeled back to show narrow fangs as long and sharp as Rose's knitting needles. There were more scars on his chest, that weren't pulsing with the vibrant energy, and Jade could see how on either side of his waist were three mustard-yellow indents that would perfectly match the colour of his flight suit.

Jade barely had time to yank up a piece of debris, quickly enlarging it to avoid getting a faceful of red and blue lightning which instead careened into the wall in an explosion of dust and metal. She waved a glowing hand, freezing when she realized even as a Witch of Space she was unable to shrink the troll down so he'd stop wrecking the ship. Instead the glowing energy was wrapped tightly around him like a cocoon, vibrating and flaring and she couldn't get a decent grip on him regardless of how she tried.

"Wait, I'm not an enemy," Jade shouted, deciding to forgo her plan of shrinking him onto a planet. "I'm Jade! Don't you remember me, Sollux? You were with some other trolls when we last met, it was Aradia! I was wearing my dead shuffle dress, remember? The black one with all the ribbons."

The energy flared as a low guttural snarl came from the troll, hunkered down with teeth bared but she could see how badly his limbs were shaking. Lightning forked off his horns as the heavy scent of ozone tickled her nostrils and nearly made her sneeze.

Jade cautiously lowered her floating shield to the side, noting how most of the metal was warped and melted. She wasn't sure what to do against him in an actual fight- would bullets even get past the psychics? Either way she didn't actually want to hurt him, even then having to resist the urge to hurry to his side as he slumped down onto his knees.

His breathing was laboured but he didn't attack her again, breath coming in sharp pants as Jade took a hesitant step forward as she waved her empty hands to try and show she wasn't a threat. His eyes were glowing bright, red and blue steam radiating from them as if the very sockets were scorching hot.

"It's me, Jade! I don't know if you spoke to any of my friends during the game session," she said. "And I don't know why you're here- you fell out of a random rift onto the deck of the ship and it shut before I could transport you to the Green Sun where the other trolls are on a meteor -but it's okay! We're on our way to the next session. It's going to be alright, you'll meet them again!"

With a grunt the troll leaned up against the wall, the energy dancing over his flesh turning the yellow metal dark and bubbly. Jade noted with interest his eyes were solid colours; right red and left blue, with the surface compound like an insects. She could also see how the lightning-like scars were now lit up with energy that matched his eyes, crackling over his flesh.

"What..." his voice was raspy and as he spoke Jade could hear an almost sibilant hiss to his words, "What the fuck are you even talking about, alien? What ship? Where's the dock? The Glub? The fuckin' empress? Where is that bitch?"

"I don't know anything about that stuff," Jade said. "But I'm a friend! I know the dog ears are new but I'm Godtier now. Didn't Karkat tell you the plan? I know I had a pending message from him about some drama happening on the meteor before I ascended, but you and Aradia seemed okay when I saw you before all that."

"I don't know any of those people."

"Oh. Are you..." Jade bit her lip, eyeing the troll just as closely as he eyed her. It made no sense he wouldn't know about Sburb. Unless he hit his head really hard or was not a game player. But that made no sense, didn't the troll society die off just like humanity got destroyed.

His glowing eyes narrowed, "What the fuck are you, anyway?"

"I'm a human."

"I've met hundreds and thousands of aliens but not anything called humans," she could see the slight flicker of his tongue as he spoke, forked at the very tip and probably the reason he slightly hissed his words. It also had a faint yellow tint to it, beneath the uniform grey.

Jade shrugged it off; the whole day had been strange, so having a random troll thrown onto the battle ship wasn't making her too off balanced. So instead she introduced herself, "My name is Jade Harley! I'm the Witch of Space and a human. Our home planet got blown up so we're heading to a new one, so I'd really appreciate it if you stopped trying to wreck the ship. But anyway, what's your name?"

After a very long tense silence, to which Jade thought the troll was going to refuse to answer at all, he finally said, "I'm the He- the Psi. No. No. My name is Mituna. It's Mituna, Mituna Captor." he snarled out the words, the light flaring so brightly in his eyes it made Jade wince.

"Hi, Mituna," she said instead, waving a hand and watching as the shredded pieces of wall shrank or grew until the corridor no longer looked like someone had taken a meat grinder to it. "I guess you'll be staying with us then! I bet you're super confused, so feel free to ask me anything! I'll answer if I can."

"First," the troll said slowly, watching Jade with a suspicious glare as he dragged himself up against the wall in slow, agonized movements until he was standing on badly shaky legs even if the vibrant energy radiating from him didn't cease, "Care to explain what the fuck is going on, with knowing I'm a troll and why you can shrink shit like that? And who is Sollux?"

Jade grinned brightly, her new long canine fangs poking over her lower lips, "I'll be happy to explain everything I know! It all starts off with me and my friends playing a game together."

Yellow Yard.

gardenGnostic [GG] has started pestering Mituna [MT]

GG: is everything alright?
MT: ΨEAH JUST FIIGURED II WAS BEIING AWKWARD STANDIING ABOUT. HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND ANΨ ALIIEN BURIIAL RIITUALS BEFORE.
GG: im human and i dont even know them too well :(
GG: it was my own fault john got so angry, it was stupid of me to suggest taxidermining his dad
GG: i just thought because i did the same for grandpa maybe john would like to have his dad around
GG: he just got so mad though
MT: GRIIEF DOES SHIIT TO PEOPLE, II WOULDN'T TAKE WHAT ΨOUR HATCHMATE SAIID PERSONALLΨ.
GG: well hopefully with my land being defrosted we wont have to worry about gravedigging by any of the imps and basilisks
GG: but being a witch of space means i could make burial plots a lot quicker
MT: WERE THOSE THREE HOW BIIG HUMANS USUALLΨ GET?
GG: yes, daves bro was the tallest one
GG: so youre still going to be the biggest even when me and john grow up :p
MT: WHIICH IIS FUNNΨ, 'CAUSE ROSA WAS EVEN TALLER THAN ME.
MT: THEN ΨOU GOT SHIIT LIIKE THE GRAND HIIGHBLOOD WHO WAS LIIKE....'WHAT THE UTTER FUCK' HUGE.
MT: BUT THE....FUNERAL, THAT'S WHAT ΨOU CALLED IIT RIIGHT?
GG: yes!
GG: since davesprite is sorta dave i know hell understand
GG: i hope rose wont be too annoyed we buried her mum, just didnt want their bodies being eaten and we have no other way to preserve them for three years :(
MT: II'M SURE SHE'LL UNDERSTAND, ARE ΨOU STIIL WORKIING ON THOSE GRAVESTONES?
GG: only roses one
GG: i didnt know her mum but i figured making a tombstone with cats and wizards and a little rose will work!
GG: rose can change it if she wants when we meet up again
GG: davesprite wanted to do his bros even if i think hes only going to use his sword for it
GG: john and nannasprite obviously want to take care of johns dad one
MT: NANNASPRIITE WAS LIIKE...JOHN'S LUSUS LUSUS?
GG: yeah!
GG: just with humans were raised by our parents or family!
GG: well i mean not me, i was raised by bec who was like a lusus by troll standards
GG: but otherwise were raised by other humans
MT: ΨOU'RE MAMMALS, RIIGHT?
MT: SO ΨOU BIIRTH ΨOUR OWN ΨOUNG. SO NANNASPRIITE BIIRTHED THE EGBERT DAD AND HE IIN TURN BIIRTHED JOHN?
GG: nooooo!
GG: johns dad was his dad!
GG: and um anyway due to ectobiology we dont really follow human norms???
GG: we were paradoxical clones
MT: SOUNDS ANNOΨIING.
GG: it sorta is :/
GG: but even with a 'normal' family johns dad wouldnt birth him, hed be the sire and his wife/partner would be the mother/carrier
MT: RIIGHT, SO HUMANS REPRODUCE SEXUALLΨ AND GESTATE THEIIR GRUBS WIITHIIN THEM, HENCE BEIING MAMMALS. ?
MT: THEΨ COMBIINE GAMETES FROM TWO PARENTS TO CREATE A GENIETIICALLΨ UNIIQUE OFFSPRIING WIITH FAMIILAR TRAIITS OF THE PARENT DONOURS BUT STIILL UNIIQUE ON IITS OWN.
GG: yes exactly!
GG: karkat didnt seem to get it
MT: II'M REALLΨ FUCKIING OLD, AND THE ALTERNIIAN EMPIIRE GENOCIIDED TRIILLIIONS OF SPECIIES.
MT: MANΨ OF WHOM REPRODUCED LIIKE HUMANS.
MT: SO ΨEAH, NOT HARD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND.
MT: THIIS KARKAT SOUNDS LIIKE A REAL DUMB FUCKER.
GG: hehehe just a little!
GG: at least kanaya got it when we were talking about frog breeding!
GG: i wonder if she managed to hatch the matriorb yet?
MT: A MATRIIORB?
MT: WHEN THE FUCK DIID SHE GET THAT?
GG: from her lusus!
GG: it was a virgin mother grub she called it
GG: and she was planning to hatch it in the meteor
MT: SHE SOUNDS LIIKE A DUMB FUCKER AS WELL.
MT: DOES SHE HAVE ANΨ IIDEA HOW FUCKIING HUGE MOTHER GRUBS GET?
MT: AND HOW MUCH THEΨ NEED TO EAT?
MT: WHAT CONDIITIION WAS THE METEOR EVEN IIN?
MT: DOES IIT EVEN HAVE THE PROPER CAVE ECOSΨSTEM?
GG: well they have an alchemiter!
GG: so they can just make all the needed food for it!
GG: but i dont know what the meteor theyre on is like
MT: ΨEAH IIT'S GONNA BE FUCKIING DEAD WHEN WE MEET THEM LOL
MT: BET ΨOU TWO MIILLIION CAEGARS IIT'S FUCKIING DEAD ALREADΨ, JUST GOTTA A STRONG AF FEELIING.
MT: ESPECIIALLΨ SIINCE THAT JADE IISN'T EVEN AN ADULT, WTF IIS SHE THIINKIING?
MT: HAVIING A VIIRGIIN MOTHER GRUB FOR A LUSUS AND RAIISIING ONE ΨOURSELF IIS TWO WIILDLΨ DIIFFERENT THIINGS.
MT: ROSA WAS A JADEBLOOD AND SHE TOLD ME ENOUGH ABOUT HOW SHIIT WENT DOWN IIN THE BROODIING CAVERNS FOR ME TO KNOW IITS LIIKELΨ THE MOTHER GRUB IIS GONNA EAT SOME/ALL OF THOSE LIITTLE TROLLS IIF THEΨ CAN'T FEED IIT PRETTΨ MUCH CONSTANTLΨ.
MT: SHE ONLΨ WON'T GO AFTER THE JADE, EVERΨONE ELSE IIS FAIIR GAME.
GG: :(
GG: thats awful!!!
GG: i wish i could warn her so we could wait until we meet up!
MT: WHΨ?
MT: TROLLS ARE SHIIT, WE DESERVE TO GO EXTIINCT.
GG: that isnt true!!!
GG: i mean sure a lot of you were terrible to us while me and my friends were playing but thats because they thought we ruined their session!
GG: even though it was their own fault sorta??
GG: but you guys deserve a chance!
MT: H4H4H4H4H4H4
GG: ?
MT: ΨOU'RE SO DELUSIIONAL IIT'S GONE FROM PATHETIIC TO ODDLΨ CUTE.
MT: ΨOU THIINK ΨOUR SIINGULAR PLANET BEIING DESTROΨED IIS TRAGIIC, RIIGHT?
MT: ΨOU THIINK THE WHAT, SIIX BIILLIION HUMANS DΨIING ON THERE WIITH ΨOU FOUR BEIING THE ONLΨ SURVIIVORS IIS A TRAGEDΨ, DON'T ΨOU?
GG: where are you going with this??
MT: DO ΨOU KNOW WHAT MΨ TIITLE WAS, BEFORE II ENDED UP ON THIIS SHIIP WIITH ΨOUR SWEATΨ LIITTLE MAMMALS?
MT: II WAS KNOWN AS THE HELMSMAN.
GG: whats that :o
MT: LONG STORΨ SHORT, II WAS ENSLAVED BΨ THE TROLL EMPRESS OF THE ALTERNIIAN EMPIIRE AND TRANSFORMED INTO A LIIVIING BATTERΨ.
MT: II WAS GRAFTED IINTO BIIOTUBES AND HAD MΨ PAN EMBEDDED WIITH CODE AND IINVASIVE TENDRIILS OF ORGANIIC MACHIINERΨ TO POWER A FUCKIING SPACE SHIIP.
MT: II COULDN'T EVEN DIIE NORMALLΨ, THAT TΨRIIAN WHORE KEPT MΨ LIIFE EXTENDED BEΨOND ANΨ OTHER ΨELLOWBLOOD.
MT: II WAS FORCED THERE AS HER SLAVE FOR COUNTLESS SWEEPS- THE TIIMES WHERE II LOST MΨSELF WERE THE BEST, WHEN II COULDN'T REMEMBER WHO OR WHAT II EVEN WAS.
MT: BUT DURIING THE ENTIIRE TIIME OF MΨ ENSLAVEMENT SHE DIIRECTED THE EMPIIRE IINTO ANNIIHIILATIING COUNTLESS GALAXIIES AND CIIVIILIZATIIONS.
MT: ANΨ AND EVERΨ ALIIEN SPECIIES WE CAME ACROSS IIN SPACE SHE ERADIICATED.
MT: THAT'S ALL SHE DIID AND SHE MADE US ALL DO THE SAME.
MT: TRIILLIIONS ANNIIHIILATED ALL BECAUSE OF SOME STUCK-UP VIIOLENT FIISHBIITCH.
MT: TROLLS DON'T DESERVE A CHANCE- AND IIT SEEMS THEΨ DIID AND THEΨ JUST FUCKED UP ΨOUR UNIIVERSE ANΨWAΨ. SO ΨEAH, WE'RE JUST A TRASH SPECIIES WHIICH MAKE EVERΨTHIING HORRIIBLE AND RUIIN ANΨTHIING WE ENCOUNTER.
MT: HOW MANΨ FUCKIING CHANCES DO ΨOU WANT TO GIIVE THEM, HUH?
MT: HOW MANΨ MORE LIIVES AND EXIISTANCES DO WE HAVE TO FUCK UP BEFORE THE UNIIVERSE REALIIZES WE DON'T FUCKIING DESERVE ANΨTHIING BEΨOND EXTIINCTIION?
MT: FUCK OUTTA HERE.
GG: :(
GG: i guess
GG: if you were enslaved and saw all that i can understand why you arent too happy about any of that
GG: so why dont we just stop talking about this
MT: FIINE.
MT: BUT THE MATRIIORB IIS FUCKED, II JUST KNOW IIT IIS. AND II HOPE WE NEVER GET A NEW ONE. FUCK TROLLS.
GG: well um how about we start making plans that dont sound horrible?
GG: since its just you and me we can go to my land and hunt some enemies!
GG: being between sessions means the first guardian powers no longer work with the prototyping
GG: so now is the best time to clean up shop!
GG: that way well get loads of grist and we wont have to worry about them when we reach the next sessions
GG: and we can go have some fun with the alchemiter :)
MT: II SUPPOSE THAT SOUNDS BETTER THAN ME JUST STOMPIING ABOUT BEIING PIISSED.
MT: MEULIIN ALWAΨS SAIID II WAS A NASTΨ BIITCH WHEN II GOT TOO ANGRΨ AND WOULD START ZAPPIING PEOPLE BΨ ACCIIDENT IIF THEΨ GOT TOO CLOSE.
MT: MAΨBE BLOWIING UP SOME OF THESE GAME FUCKERS WIILL HELP.
GG: okay! :D
GG: ill zap you in, see you soon!
MT: ΨEACH, ΨEAH.

ectoBiologist [EB] has started pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

EB: what the hell just happened?
EB: is the ship crashing?
GG: everything is fine!!
GG: our experiment just sorta
GG: umm....
GG: it nearly worked but then it didnt!!
GG: but everything is fine, the ship is stable and nothing is wrong so dont worry
EB: i am worrying!
EB: i wasn't even on the ship and instead sorting out my house when i felt it.
EB: it was mituna wasn't it?
EB: what were you guys doing?
GG: look it was just an experiment!
GG: i was just asking him some more things about how troll space flight worked, okay?
GG: and he was telling me more about psisonics and helming
GG: the alternian empire sounds so awful :(
GG: do you know with a lot of the psychics who werent powerful enough to be helmed they would chop off their arms and legs and just use them as portable batteries and generators?
GG: little wonder he was so happy the empire was destroyed!
EB: jade, focus!
GG: okay okay!
GG: anyway he was telling me how when he was enslaved as the helmsman he could make the empresss ship fly faster than the speed of light
GG: he could cross thousands of light years in only a few hours!!!
EB: what?
EB: how did he do that?
GG: i dont know!
GG: you cant go faster than the speed of light unless you teleport
GG: light travels at a hundred and eighty six thousand miles per second no matter what frame of reference youre in... even this one!
GG: second of all special relativity and comparing laws of physics between different frames of reference, those are tricky issues to talk about!
GG: thats the law of physics!
GG: but i guess troll technology figured it out? and doesnt give a shit about the human law of physics?
GG: though mituna did clarify he was the strongest goldblood known in alternian history so the flagships speed was pretty singular
GG: but i um
GG: i asked him if he could help us reach the next session faster if that was the case!
EB: so it worked?
EB: is that why everything started going crazy with that light show?
GG: :(
EB: i'm taking that sad face as a no.
GG: well he agreed!
GG: and he started trying and wow, his powers are so strong!
GG: he could grab the entire ship so easily, i only could do that when i reached godtier!
EB: jade, focus.
GG: oh right, sorry
GG: it almost seemed like it was going to work but then he just
GG: he just started freaking out?
GG: i think him trying to pilot the ship made him think of his enslavement
GG: it was like jadesprite when she started panicking and screaming at me when i prototyped her
GG: it was even worse with mituna because hes just so strong!
GG: i couldnt even shrink him onto one of the planets so he wouldnt break stuff, hes strong enough if hes covered in psionics i cant move him
EB: oh no, did he kill you?
GG: noooo
GG: well he did chuck me down the stairs but he wasnt aware of me when he was doing it, i dont think
GG: he was just lashing out
EB: pity dave wasnt here, i can already see all the lame 'i warned you about stairs, bro!' jokes he would make :B
GG: well you can just tell davesprite!
GG: but anyway im fine!
GG: turns out being godtier means you heal superfast!
GG: it was like my leg or ribs never even got broken
GG: but uh it took a lot of calm him down
GG: and even then he kept calling me meulin :(
GG: it was like a really bad trauma response so um were not going to try it again anytime soon
EB: who is meulin?
GG: it was one of his really close friends, he doesnt talk about them much
GG: well i mean he does but he gets really upset and angry
GG: he really blames himself for not being able to protect them :(
EB: i suppose that makes sense.
EB: i don't really know what we're supposed to do with a super traumatized alien with mind powers.
GG: he just needs some time :(
GG: im going to go ask nannasprite for some dinner, as an apology since i was hounding him
GG: (hehe)
EB: he's the one who threw you down the stairs.
GG: im fine!!
GG: honestly ive done worse roughhousing with bec
GG: and i was the one who was pushing him and pushing him even though he was getting so uncomfortable with it :(
GG: and now hes rather pissed off when he remembered where he was and stomped off and that door is totally fucked
GG: but the ship is fine, i fixed those broken walls and we only lost some furniture
GG: were still on track with the wall and didnt lose any time!
GG: i think ill suggest going hunting with him tomorrow, weve nearly cleared my land completely in only a month and that way he can blow off some steam
GG: then we can go on a big alchemiter spurge if you want to join!
EB: we're not doing shakespeare again!
GG: that was in honour of rose :p
GG: considering her library is the one we ransacked hehehe
GG: besides i think you were great!
EB: alright maybe one more.
EB: not macbeth though.
GG: how about the tempest?
GG: you could do the windy thing :D
EB: what was that one about again?
GG: basically some guy making a storm to torment a ship crew!
GG: so we can do that on my land, theres loads of water
GG: i can make a little ship and then use my witchy powers to make it big
GG: and maybe once mituna has calmed down we can drag him out there, davesprite too!
EB: sounds like a plan, sis :B
GG: hehe, you know it bro! :D

ectoBiologist [EB] has opened the memo Wherefore Art Thou Trolleo?

EB: alright so i figured we might as well get this one out of the way!
EB: since we have a hitchhiker with us and cross-species sloppy make outs are hereby banned.
EB: we will keep it pg here, folks!
EB: last thing we want is creepy hybrid babies that squirm down your throat and then burst out through your chest and we'll have to airlock the entire ship to get it out.

gardenGnostic [GG] has responded to the memo!

GG: john just what are you even talking about???

Mituna [MT] has responded to the memo!

MT: JUST PUTTIING IIT OUT THERE, II HAVE NO IINTEREST IIN FUCKIING ΨOU ALIIENS SO ΨOU'RE SAFE FROM ME.
EB: well good because it's banned!
EB: we do not need any movie reenactments here, you hear me!
GG: glad weve got that out of the way :p
EB: okay but on a more serious note i was thinking we'd try your zodiac idea, jade!
GG: !!!!

turntechGodhead [TG] has responded to the memo!

TG: so we doing this huh
MT: WHAT'S A ZODIIAC?
EB: it's an earth thing!
EB: you know how you lost your shit when jade wore that sagitarius scarf?
EB: it's got to do with that.
MT: FUCK ΨOU.
GG: hey dont be like that :(
GG: i am sorry that i upset you but dont take it out on john!
GG: i guess i just forgot about it?
GG: anyway to explain i think the zodiac on earth relates to the twelve trolls who created our universe!!
GG: i thought i was being silly but then i met sollux and kanaya in my dreams and they had zodiac symbols on their shirts!
EB: same with karkat when i saw him through the rift jade made, so we're pretty sure the trolls all correlate with the zodiac.
MT: ΨOU STIILL HAVEN'T EXPLAIINED WHAT A ZODIIAC IIS.
TG: basically the zodiac is a sickass zoo of animals prancing about in the sky
TG: we got all types of motherfuckers up there stuck as twinkly as fuck stars that you gotta think real hard about until animals are all holding hands in celestial harmony
TG: the king of shit every working mother would bring their kids out to point at cause their tvs broke or dads drunk in the lounge again
TG: we got all the bestiary up there from sweet precious fish and sickass sheep to a pair of shitty scales and a vase of fucking water
TG: they cant sort their shit out so youre stuff with one when youre shoved out of sweet mama which none of us have due to being lab freak babies
TG: all we know is the loving tender embrace of ectosludge and greyass walls of science
MT: GL'BGOLΨB'S TIITS, ΨOU'RE BORIING AND WHIINΨ AS ALL SHIIT.
MT: ΨOU'RE LIITERALLΨ BORIING ME TO DEATH RIIGHT NOW. II'M NEARLΨ MIISSIING THE HELM.
MT: ΨOU SAΨ SO MUCH IIN ORDER TO SAΨ FUCK ALL.
MT: HOW ABOUT ΨOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?
TG: damn someone had a bigass bowl of bitchy for breakfast
GG: guys come on be serious!
TG: why dont you say that to the fun police over there whose busy breaking my nonexistant kneecaps
GG: bluh bluh were trying to have a productive discussion!!!
GG: okay mituna since you dont know the zodiac does the word gemini mean anything to you?
MT: NO.
GG: okay
GG: so our theory is that the twelve trolls who made our universe all coincide with the zodiac
GG: this pairs in with the fact weve seen some symbols before and karkat told us about them making the genesis frog for our universe and how theres a lot of reflection of troll stuff in earth
GG: well not a lot but enough!
GG: like the zodiac being once, since the trolls fucked up and got barred from entering our universe as an ultimate reward because jack fucked up their door
GG: but back to the zodiac
GG: do you recognize any of these symbols?
GG: ♈︎ ♉︎ ♊︎ ♋︎ ♌︎ ♍︎ ♎︎ ♏︎ ♐︎ ♑︎ ♒︎ ♓︎
GG: i mean obviously youd know ♊︎ since its your but what about the rest?
MT: ...
EB: they're the twelve zodiac!
EB: they're aries, taurus, gemini, cancer, leo, virgo, libra, scorpio, sagittarius, capricorn, aquarius and pisces.
EB: you'd be gemini.
EB: back when earth existed humans would be born on a certain month and day to get a zodiac for astrology.
EB: since i'm born near the first of april i'm an aries.
GG: and since i'm first of december im a sagittarius!
GG: thats why i was wearing that scarf
GG: theres also ophiuchus???
GG: but theres a fuckton of debate about that even if its sometimes called the thirteenth zodiac since it messes up the twelve-fold division of the ecliptic of the others since theyre all based on stars and the seasons
GG: and the symbol is ⛎︎ but its theres a lot of fighting if it was even one and in the end of it its sorta hanging about but not offically one since its just a constellation :/
GG: anyway youd be gemini, thats what your symbol was called on earth
EB: yeah and most people just used the zodiac as something fun.
EB: like judging personality and seeing if youre compatible with someone!
EB: theres also element stuff?
EB: man, i wish rose was here. bet she'd know all about this.
GG: hey i mapped out the stars on my island!!!
EB: i meant the personality quiz stuff.
GG: oh, yeah she probably would :(
EB: ...
GG: ...
EB: mituna?
TG: thinking mister mustard is afk

Mituna [MT] has changed their chumhandle to Mituna [♊︎]

♊︎: RIIGHT, THIIS IIS A LOT TO TAKE IIN.
♊︎: BUT ΨOU'RE SAΨIING THAT STORΨ ABOUT TWELVE TROLLS MAKIING ΨOUR UNIIVERSE MEANT THEIIR SΨMBOLS WERE EMBEDDED AS CONSTELLATIIONS AROUND ΨOUR PLANET.
♊︎: AND THOSE WHO WEAR THOSE SΨMBOLS ARE EIITHER GAME PLAΨERS OR ANCESTORS OF THEM?
EB: still not really clear what an ancestor is?
EB: i know trolls are raised by like...wild animals or some crazy stuff but that's about it.
TG: yeah terezi didnt even know what a parent is if that isnt the saddest fucking thing youve ever heard
♊︎: OUR SPECIIES IIS IIN SΨMBIIOSIIS WIITH THE FAUNA ON ALTERNIIA.
♊︎: SO IINSTEAD OF RAIISIING GRUBS OR BIIRTHIING THEM WE HAVE LUSUS AND THE MOTHER GRUB WHIICH ARE NON-TROLL SPECIIES.
♊︎: LUSUS TAKE ON VARIIOUS FORMS, BASIICALLΨ LIIKE HOW ΨOUR EARTH FAUNA COULD BUT THEΨ ARE ONLΨ EVER WHIITE. HOWEVER THEIIR BLOOD COLOUR WIILL ALWAΨS MATCH THEIIR GRUB.
♊︎: WHEN A MASS SPAWN HAPPENS THE LUSUS GATHER AROUND THE CAVES OF THE MOTHER GRUBS AND PIICK THE WIIGGLERS THEΨ WANT.
♊︎: THEΨ THEN RAIISE THE GRUB UNTIIL CONSCRIIPTIION WHIICH IIS WHEN THE DRONES GO TO ALL THE HIIVES TO GET GENE SLURRΨ.
♊︎: THE SLURRΨ IIS THE GENETIIC MATERIIAL OF ALL TROLLS AND IITS TAKEN BACK TO THE BROODIING CAVERNS.
♊︎: THE JADEBLOODS THERE TEND TO THE MOTHER GRUB, AND SHE MIIXES UP THE SLURRΨ AND BIIRTHS THE WIIGGLERS.
♊︎: SO ΨEAH, WE DON'T RAIISE OUR ΨOUNG.
♊︎: WE EAT GRUBS AND WIIGGLERS SO THE ΨOUNG TROLLS ARE IINSTINCTIIVELΨ PREDIISPOSED TO AVOIID AND RUN AWAΨ FROM ADULTS.
EB: wait so that grubsauce and grubloaf stuff is made from troll babies?
♊︎: ΨEAH.
EB: eww that's so gross!
TG: actual baby eaters from outer space goddamn
♊︎: FOR ANCESTORS, AFTER A CERTAIIN POIINT OUR SLURRΨ WIILL PASS THROUGH A MOTHER GRUB AND A GENETIIC CLONE WIILL BE BORN.
♊︎: THEΨ HAVE OUR APPEARANCE AND TRAIITS AND OUR SΨMBOL AND BLOOD BUT IIT TAKES SO LONG TO HAPPEN MOST LOWBLOODS THIINK IIT'S JUST A PACK OF SHIIT.
♊︎: SO THIIS...SOLLUX, HE'S MΨ DESCENDANT.
♊︎: SIINCE II WAS ENSLAVED FOR HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF SWEEPS AND THE LAST TIIME II GAVE ANΨ GENE SLURRΨ TO THE DRONES WAS BEFORE II EVEN MET KANKRII.
♊︎: ALL THESE SΨMBOLS...IIT'S STRANGE II RECOGNIIZE MOST OF THEM.
EB: you do? which ones?
♊︎: ♌︎ ♍︎ ♐︎ ♑︎ ♒︎ ♓︎
♊︎: THIIS ONE ♌︎ IIS MEULIIN, SHE WAS PART OF THE SIIGNLESS'S MOST TRUSTED. THEN THERE WAS MΨSELF AND ROSA- THE DOLOROSA ♍︎
GG: that last one was the symbol kanaya was wearing!!!
GG: so that must mean shes the rosa's descendant right???
GG: the symbol on her shirt was a jade colour and she had pointy horns with a hook on the left side
GG: though last i spoke to her she said she was a vampire? before i told everyone to stop the future talk because i was making frogs
♊︎: A VAMPIIRE?
GG: something from earth, an undead that drinks blood
♊︎: HUH, THAT CONFIIRMS IIT THEN.
♊︎: FOR OUR SPECIIES ONLΨ JADEBLOODS CAN COME BACK WHEN KIILLED- ONLΨ ONCE AND IIF THEΨ WEREN'T DIISMEMBERED OR ANΨTHIING.
♊︎: THEΨ COME BACK AS RAIINBOW DRIINKERS AND THEIIR SKIN GLOW.
♊︎: BΨ DEFAULT JADES CAN ALSO WIITHSTAND THE ALTERNIIAN SUN WHIICH BURNS THE SHIIT OUT OF EVERΨONE ELSE.
♊︎: II KNOW ROSA USED THAT TO HER ADVANTAGE WHEN SHE'D STUFF KANKRII IN HIIS SUN CLOAK AND RUN FOR IIT WHEN SHIIT GOT REAL BACK WHEN HE WAS LIITTLE.
♊︎: SO ΨEAH, GUESS HER DESCENDANT IIS RUNNIING AROUND AS WELL.
EB: what about the other symbols?
EB: you got so pissed at the arrow one.
♊︎: THAT BELONGED TO THE ROΨAL EXECUTOR.
♊︎: HE'S THE ONE THAT SHOT AND KIILLED KANKRII WHEN HE WAS HANGIING FROM THE FLOGGIING JUT DURIING HIIS PUBLIIC EXECUTIION AND TORTURE.
EB: oh.
GG: :(
GG: im so sorry!!!
GG: i swear i didnt know :(
♊︎: IIT'S FINE, II OVERREACTED.
♊︎: JUST SEEIING THAT SHIIT NEARLΨ MADE MΨ PAN EXPLODE, IIT WAS ALMOST LIIKE II WAS BACK THERE.
♊︎: DRUGGED OUT OF MΨ FUCKING MIIND WIITH SOME MANΨ ΨCHIIC DAMPNERS ON ME II COULDN'T EVEN STAND.
♊︎: COULD ONLΨ LIIE THERE AND WATCH HIIM DIIE.
♊︎: THAT'S HOW II KNEW THAT SΨMBOL.
♊︎: THE EXECUTOR HAD IIT ON HIIS ARMOUR, A BIIG MUSCULAR FUCKER WITH STUPIID ARROW-SHAPED HORNS.
♊︎: A BLUEBLOOD.
♊︎: JUST LIIKE THE COLOUR ON THE ARROW HE SHOT IINTO KANKRII AND KIILLED HIIM.
♊︎: MEULIIN MANAGED TO GET FREE AND HAULED ASS OUT OF THERE.
♊︎: II WASN'T ANGRΨ AT HER, SHE HAD NO CHOIICE. WE WERE ALL FUCKED.
♊︎: THE EXECUTOR DIIDN'T KIILL HER THOUGH, II THIINK KANKRII'S SCREAM BEFORE HE DIIED FUCKED THAT UGLΨ BASTARD UP.
♊︎: EVERΨONE SEEMED PRETTΨ FREAKED OUT BΨ IIT, II STIILL HEARD IIT DESPIITE BEIING DRUGGED OFF MΨ PAN.
♊︎: THEN THE GRAND HIIGHBLOOD STEPPED IIN AND BEAT THE SHIIT OUT OF THE EXECUTOR FOR LETTIING MEULIIN ESCAPE WHIICH WAS PRETTΨ FUNNΨ, NGL
♊︎: HE HAD ONE OF THE SΨMBOLS.
♊︎: ♑︎
♊︎: THE GRAND HIIGHBLOOD.
♊︎: HE WAS THE ONE WHO CAUGHT US AND KEPT A CLOSE EΨE ON ME DURIING THE EXECUTIION.
♊︎: EVEN WIITH ALL THE DRUGS AND DAMPNERS HIIS ΨCHIICS KEPT ME IIN PLACE.
♊︎: CONSIIDERIING II COULD'VE KIILLED MOST OF THEM IIF II WAS FREE BUT THAT'S HOW SHIIT LIIFE IIS.
♊︎: FUCKIING HIIGHBLOODS.
EB: what about the last two symbols?
♊︎: EH, THIIS ONE?
♊︎: ♒︎
♊︎: II KNOW IIT, BUT NEVER ACTUALLΨ MET WHO IIT BELONGS TO- THE ORPHANER.
♊︎: IIF HE WAS AT THE EXECUTIION II WAS TOO DRUGGED TO REALLΨ NOTIICE.
GG: an orphaner?
♊︎: NOT 'AN' ORPHANER, 'THE' ORPHANER.
♊︎: THE ONE THEΨ'D SEND TO HUNT DRAGONS AND LEVIIATHANS AND WΨRMS AND OTHER CRAZΨ SHIIT.
♊︎: NEVER CROSSED PATHS WIITH HIIM, SIINCE WE WOULD AVOIID THE PORTS UNLESS GIIVEN NO OTHER CHOIICE.
♊︎: BUT ΨEAH, ANOTHER SΨMBOL II KNOW OF.
EB: and the last?
♊︎: ...
♊︎: ♓︎
♊︎: THAT'S THE SΨMBOL OF THE EMPRESS OF TROLLKIIND.
♊︎: HER IIMPERIIOUS CONDESCENSIION.
♊︎: ALSO KNOWN AS THE CONDESCE, SOMETIIMES CONDΨ TO THOSE CLOSER TO HER LIIKE THE GHB.
♊︎: HATCHNAME MEENAH PEIIXES.
♊︎: THE ONE WHO KIILLED MΨ FAMIILΨ AND ENSLAVED ME AND BASIICALLΨ DESTROΨED TROLLKIIND WIITH HER SHIIT.
♊︎: AND SHE WOULD'VE BEEN THE LAST TROLL ALIIVE WHEN HER LUSUS KIILLED EVERΨ TROLL ALIIVE BUT SHE WAS EXEMPT DUE TO HER BLOOD.
♊︎: SO SHE IISN'T AN EMPRESS ANΨMORE LOL SHE'S QUEEN OF NOTHIING LIIKE SHE DESERVES.
GG: an extinction event? what happened?
♊︎: WELL ΨOU SAIID ΨOUR PLANET WAS DESTROΨED PLAΨIING THAT GAME, RIIGHT?
♊︎: IIF ALTERNIIA WAS DESTROΨED IIT MAKES SENSE THE VAST GLUB HAPPENED BECAUSE OF IIT.
♊︎: THE CONDESCE HELD SO MUCH POWER OVER TROLLKIIND SIINCE HER LUSUS WAS A MASSIIVE SEAMONSTER THAT COULD KIILL OFF CERTAIIN BLOODCASTES WIITH IITS SCREAM.
♊︎: BUT WHEN THE GLUB HAPPENED IIT WAS THE FURTHEST AWAΨ WE'D EVER BEEN FROM THE HOMEPLANET.
♊︎: BΨ THE TIIME THE REPORTS SHOWED A MASSIIVE METEOR SHOWER DESTROΨIING THE PLANET THE GLUB HAPPENED.
♊︎: THE VAST GLUB, WHERE THE CONDENSE'S LUSUS SCREAMED AND TARGETED EVERΨ BLOODCASTE EXCEPT TΨRIIAN.
♊︎: IIN THE SPAN OF A FEW MIINUTES THE ENTIIRE EMPIIRE WAS DEAD.
♊︎: MΨSELF IINCLUDED SO SHE WOULD'VE BEEN STUCK ON AUXIILIITARΨ POWER H3H3H3
♊︎: WOULD'VE TAKEN THAT STUPIID BIITCH HUNDREDS OF SWEEPS STUCK ON AN EMPTΨ SHIIP BEFORE SHE REACHED THE DESTROΨED HOMEPLANET.
♊︎: OH JUST THIINKING ABOUT IIT IIS HIILARIIOUS H4H4H4H4 FUCK HER. HOPE SHE FUCKIING ROTS.
EB: um.
GG: :(
GG: uh what about those other zodiacs, the ones you dont recognize?
GG: ♈︎ ♉︎ ♋︎ ♎︎ ♏︎
GG: are you sure you dont recognize them? they should have descendents playing the game but i cant remember who wore those symbols :/
GG: maybe if we cross some dreambubbles!
GG: we just seem to have shit luck with them here
♊︎: ΨEAH COMPLETELΨ DON'T RECOGNIIZE THESE THREE ♉︎ ♎︎ ♏︎
♊︎: COULD'VE SHOWN UP DURIING ONE OF THE ERAS WERE II WAS PRETTΨ MUCH PAN-DEAD AND DIIDN'T THIINK OF ANΨTHIING.
♊︎: ♋︎ THIIS ONE JUST...II DON'T KNOW, IIT SORTA REMIINDS ME OF THOSE BURNIING SHACKLES THEΨ PUT KANKRII IIN DURIING HIIS EXECUTIION.
EB: i guess that makes sense, karkat was wearing a shirt with that symbol when i chucked that bucket at him!
EB: it was grey, though.
♊︎: CAN'T ADVERTIISE IIF HE'S GOT CRIIMSONBLOOD SIINCE KANKRII GOT HUNG FOR THAT.
♊︎: THE EMPIIRE WOULD'VE KIILLED ΨOUR LIITTLE FRIIEND ON SIIGHT IIF HE HAD BEEN STUPIID ENOUGH.
♊︎: AT LEAST II GUESS KANKRII IS NO LONGER SIIGNLESS.
♊︎: EVEN IIF THE FACT HIIS DESCENDENT DECIIDED TO USE KANKRII'S TORTURE WEAPON FOR A SΨMBOL IIS FUCKED UP.
♊︎: THEN THERE'S THIIS ONE.
♊︎: ♈︎
♊︎: ...II DON'T KNOW WHΨ, BUT IIT MAKES ME THIINK OF THE DEMONESS EVEN IIF IIT MAKES NO SENSE.
GG: demoness?
♊︎: II AWAΨS THOUGHT SHE WAS A MΨTH, SOME SPOOKΨ CAMP FIIRE STORΨ.
♊︎: UNTIIL II DIIED AT LEAST.
♊︎: IIT WAS JUST A MOMENT BUT II COULD HAVE SWORN SHE WAS THERE.
♊︎: AFTER II FINISHED CHOKIING TO DEATH ON MΨ BLOOD WIITH THAT NOIISE RIINGIING THROUGH MΨ EARS, AND HAVIING THE CONDESCE CRΨIING OVER ME.
♊︎: FOR A BRIIEF FLIICKER II THOUGHT II SAW THE DEMONESS.
♊︎: DRESSED ALL IIN GREEN, WIITH EΨES FLASHIING ALL THE COLOUR OF THE HEMOSPECTRUM.
♊︎: AND WIITH BIIG, CURLIING HORNS. ALMOST LIIKE THAT SΨMBOL.
♊︎: BUT II ALWAΨS THOUGHT SHE WAS A MΨTH, A MONSTER THAT SHOWED UP DURIING THE BLOODIIEST, MOST VIIOLENT TIIMES IIN HIISTORΨ.
♊︎: HER APPEARENCE WOULD HERALD SO MUCH DEATH AND MIISERΨ.
♊︎: LUSII WOULD TELL THEIIR CHARGES THAT IIF THΨ DON'T BEHAVE THE DEMONESS WOULD COME FOR THEM.
♊︎: AND ANΨONE WHO SAW HER WOULD DIIE SOON AFTER.
♊︎: SO II DON'T KNOW WHΨ II SAW HER.
♊︎: AND IIF...SHE MAΨBE HAD SOMETHIING TO DO WIITH ME NOT DΨIING EVEN THOUGH II **KNOW** II FUCKIING DIID.
GG: maybe she wasnt as horrible as everyone said?
GG: the rift you fell through had all these rainbow colours
GG: so maybe she really did save you
GG: if she was the aries then it meant her descendent is a game player!
GG: most likely aradia!
GG: since she had curling horns like a sheep when i met her in the dream!!
GG: she was the time player and godtier!
GG: with pretty red wings and a red outfit
GG: maybe aradia had something to do with your rescue if the demoness was her ancestor?
♊︎: II DON'T KNOW.
♊︎: ALL THIIS SHIIT IIS SO CONFUSIING. II DON'T KNOW.
EB: hey why don't we tell you about the zodiac traits and stuff? since the rest of it is just confusing.
EB: rose had loads of books about it! and since you know most of them you maybe you can tell us if they're accurate.
GG: yeah thisll just be fun stuff!!
TG: this dude is the fun police i doubt hell want to hear about how the phrase of the moon will influence his broship with cancer and influence his lottery numbers
GG: nope, we can share all this!
GG: mituna youre gonna pay attention and ill tell you the traits and personality of your starsign!
♊︎: PFFT ALRIIGHT FIINE.
♊︎: LAΨ THE TRUTH UPON ME, ALIIENS.
♊︎: TELL ME WHAT II AM AS A GEMIINII, FROM THE FRUIIT OF KNOWLEDGE FROM ΨOUR UNIIVERSE BIIRTHED FROM TROLLKIIND.
GG: okay!!!
GG: gemini are born between may 21 and june 20
♊︎: THIINK THAT'S IIRRELEVANT WIITH THE DESTRUCTIION OF ΨOUR HUMAN EARTH CALENDERS WHIICH IIS BASED ON SEASONS AND THE CΨCLE OF THE MOON.
GG: shooosh <3
GG: its symbolized with celestial twins, an air sign that is so interested in pursuing its interest that it had to double itself
♊︎: HUH, WELL II CAN FLΨ. NOT WIITH WIINGS BUT WIITH MΨ ΨIIONIICS.
GG: because of their duality theyre often mistaken for being two faced but in reality they rarely have a hidden agenda
GG: playful and intellectually curious, gemini are known to be constantly juggling hobbies, friend groups, careers and passions
GG: theyre considered one of the social butterflies of the zodiac!
GG: quick witted, they can talk about pretty much anything but tend to have short attention spans
GG: other signs gemini are most compatible with are aries, leo, libra and aquarius
♊︎: SO IIN ANOTHER LIIFE II COULD'VE PAIILED THE ORPHANER AND FUCKED THE DEMONESS GOOD TO KNOW LOL
♊︎: BUT AT LEAST BEIING BROS WIITH MEULIIN WAS WRIITTEN IIN THE STARS SO THERE'S THAT <3
GG: !!!
GG: <333
EB: alright so which starsign do you want to know about next?
EB: sheesh this library is huge!
EB: i wonder how many of these books rose even managed to read?
TG: well jade and me got the sagi horsie boy with the bow and arrows which is currently off the table since his actual troll self was a total dick
TG: pity we didnt get a full on vid call with those trolls wouldve been easier to pin their symbols on as badges of honour
EB: that would've been helpful, the dream bubbles are lame.
♊︎: FUCK THE DREAMBUBBLES.
♊︎: HOW ABOUT WE DO...
♊︎: ♋︎ ♌︎ ♍︎
♊︎: THESE ONES NEXT?
GG: sure!
GG: lets see...
GG: ♋︎ cancer!
GG: represented by the crab and are highly sensitive to their enviroment
TG: hey you reckon its called cancer cause karkles fucked up our session so bad he gave that bigass galaxy frog cancer
GG: well duh
EB: which one is vriska?
EB: she liked spiders which was like, super gross haha.
GG: hey shut up! were doing this in order!
GG: dont make me start banning people >:p
GG: anyway, cancer!
GG: theyre sensitive and compassionate, and associated with the moon and tend to be ambitious and big thinkers

ectoBiologist [EB] has started pestering Mituna [♊︎]

EB: hey mituna!
♊︎: HEΨ
EB: are you gonna join the server?
♊︎: FOR WHAT?
EB: for our epic game night!!
EB: didn't i tell you about that?
♊︎: OH ΨEAH II NEARLΨ FORGOT ABOUT THAT, WHAT WIITH THE FIIFTEEN NOTES ΨOU SHOVED UNDER MΨ DOOR AND THE NUMEROUS 'hey gamer night its coming up :))' CRAP ΨOU KEPT MESSAGIING ME.
EB: great so you didn't forget!
EB: jade's getting her character set up right now, for the ghostbuster mmorpg.
♊︎: THE FUCK IIS A MMORPG?
EB: multiplayer online roleplay game!
♊︎: SO WHAT IIS THE EXTRA M FOR?
EB: oh whoops!
EB: *massively* multiplayer online roleplay game.
EB: basically means theres a fuckton of people running around.
EB: though in our case we're stuck with the consorts and some carapacians, i made sure to distribute the game to basically all computers and put up notices at the villages.
♊︎: HOW WOULD THOSE DUMB ANIIMALS EVEN PLAΨ THIIS SHIIT? DON'T THOSE SHELLBEAST THIINGS JUST HAVE FLIIPPERS. AND THOSE ΨELLOW BLOBS DON'T EVEN HAVE ARMS, SO ARE THEΨ JUST GONNA HEADBUTT THE KEΨBOARD OR SOMETHIING?
EB: the iguanas have arms! same with the salamanders.
EB: uh i mean some do?
EB: others don't so i dunno guess it just depends.
EB: i think they can grow them?
EB: anyway we've got to play!
EB: do you need me to send a link?
EB: jade's almost done.
♊︎: FIINE.
♊︎: THIIS IIS ΨOUR SEVER, RIIGHT?
EB: yeah that's me!
EB: jade's afk since she's still making her protag that's why her avatar is all shadows.

gardenGnostic [GG] has joined the chat!

GG: hey guys! :DDD
EB: hey jade!
♊︎: WASSUP.
GG: not the sky!!
EB: that joke wasn't funny the first ten times, jade.
GG: maybe not to a pleb like you but to us more learned creatures such as telekinetic aliens and dogtiers we know better >:D
♊︎: WHIICH IIS TRUE TBH.
EB: bluh bluh
EB: guys, finish making your avatars!
EB: i'll find us a mission while waiting okay.
♊︎: WHATEVER.
GG: there's so many options!
EB: okay, so i've got to hire a sassy secretary...
EB: just have to peruse this extensive palette of sarcastic red headed ladies...
♊︎: A WHAT?
EB: okay here is a good one.
EB: then we wait for a phone call. this can take anywhere from ten seconds to several hours.
GG: are you serious???
EB: its fine!
EB: there's lots to do in the station while we wait for the phonecall.
♊︎: HEΨ, ANSWER MΨ FUCKIING QUESTIION.
EB: a secretary.
EB: she's gonna be our quest giver, so we'll be on call but we can do other stuff besides the main missions.
GG: a secretary is a person who would handle letters, mail, scheduled meetings and routine work for another person higher up the chain
GG: basically she helps keep an office running smoothly!
GG: everything has to run through a secretary and she figures out whats important to pass on to the boss.
♊︎: NO, II MEAN WTF IIS A REDHEAD?
♊︎: IIS HER HEAD ON FIIRE OR SOMETHIING, LIIKE THAT GUΨ FROM THAT STUPIID MOVIIE WE WATCHED ΨESTERDAΨ?
EB: yeah fantastic 4 aged like shit.
GG: she has red hair?
GG: like john and myself have black hair!
GG: but rose and dave both have white hair!
GG:but you can also get brown haired people and lots of in between shades
GG: do trolls only have a single hair colour?
♊︎: ΨEAH? WE ALL JUST HAVE BLACK HAIIR. SOMETIIMES THERE'S STRIIPES BUT IIT'S JUST SMALL AND IIN THEIIR BLOOD COLOUR. BUT 99% IIS PURE BLACK.
♊︎: DOES THAT MEAN DAVESPRIITE'S HAIIR IIS NATURAL?
GG: no
GG: his hair is orange because thats what colour the sprite kernal was!
GG: like how nanna is blue because thats the colour of johns kernal sprite
♊︎: HUH OKAΨ, THAT'S KIINDA WEIIRD.
GG: says the big space bug with rainbow blood :p
EB: guys can we get back to the game?
GG: i think im done with my character!
GG: im pretty happy with him
EB: ...
EB: jade.
EB: that is absolutely the shittiest ghost buster i have ever seen.
GG: no way!
EB: yes.
EB: it is so yes way.
GG: i think he looks cute!
EB: jade, i thought you were going to take this game seriously.
EB: that is not a serious ghost buster. no ghost could possibly fear that thing.
GG: i dont want ghosts to be afraid of him
GG: i want to make friends with some ghosts if at all possible
EB: it is not possible, ghosts are known to be cruel and mischievous.
EB: they will not want to befriend your fox man, they will only want to cover him in slime and then fly away. i really think you should consider redesigning him.
GG: nope! im keeping him :p
EB: ok, well, if you want to turn our squad into a fucking joke, then that's your business.
♊︎: HELLO THERE >:3
EB: what the fuck.
GG: hahaha!
GG: i love your ghostbuster!
♊︎: THANK ΨOU.
♊︎: II THIINK THE GLOWIING CRIIMSON JUMPSUIIT COMBIINED WIITH THE TRANSLUCENT ANIIMATED CAPE REALLΨ MAKES THE CHARACTER.
GG: i love the furry paws and tails!
GG: but arent the horns and glowing eyes only something you can get after level 30?
EB: hey wait a second how can you be level 200 if youve just made the character???
EB: mituna did you hack the game files??
♊︎: LOL
EB: thats cheating!
♊︎: IIF ΨOU AIIN'T CHEATIING THEN ΨOU AIIN'T TRΨIING.
GG: hey can you hack me to level 15 so i can get the radioactive accents for my characters outfit?
EB: you can only get that by defeating the third boss!
♊︎: ΨEAH SURE, HERE ΨA GO.
♊︎: ALSO II BARELΨ HACKED SHIIT, THIIS SΨSTEM IIS SO NOVIICE II COULD IINFIILTRATE IIT WHIILE UNCONSCIIOUS.
♊︎: II DIIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PLUG MΨSELF IIN.
GG: D:
GG: you know what nanna said about that!
♊︎: ALL II DIID WAS TWEAK THE LEVEL AND CODE THE DEFAULT ATTRIIBUTES, NOTHIING MORE. IIT'S SIIMPLE TO JUST DO IIT THROUGH THE COMMAND PROMPT ON THE KEΨBOARD.
GG: okay but be careful!
♊︎: FUCKIING NAG LOL
EB: urgh can you guys take this more seriously?
EB: i'll overlook mituna's cheating since his brain is like half computer.
EB: and i'll overlook jade's shitty character since she's half furry anyway so she gets a pass for that.
GG: pffft
EB: hey, is someone messaging you through the game?
GG: no!
EB: yes they are!
GG: oh okay its davesprite! hes playing too
♊︎: ΨEAH THE BIIRDBEAST GUΨ WHO TALKS A LOT TO SAΨ FUCK ALL.
GG: be nice!
♊︎: TRUST ME, WHEN II STOP BEIING NIICE ΨOU LOT WIILL KNOW.
GG: anyway hes just telling me jokes! hes a funny guy
EB: meh, he's alright i guess.
EB: i would give his jokes a b+.
GG: ill pass it along!
GG: davesprite says to tell you "youre basically welcome for being born 14 years ago and 1 year ago you ungrateful douche"
EB: oh, like him taking credit for my existence isn't so old by now!
EB: also why do you call him davesprite? just call him dave.
GG: hes kinda different from dave
EB: pshh, he is so not different.
EB: dude is just a magical orange dave with wings! and also says caw sometimes.
GG: theres a lot of other differences!
GG: i mean i dont know if theyre because hes a sprite or because he lived through a different timeline
EB: well weren't you a sprite? did you feel different then?
GG: i wasnt a sprite!
GG: my dead dreamself was one
EB: yeah but you merged with her when you became godtier so don't you remember that?
GG: i remember being dead for a really long time...
GG: and making friends
GG: mostly trolls!
EB: oh really?
EB: which ones?
GG: none that we know of now
GG: thats what i remember at least
GG: they feel like such distant memories, like theyre barely real!
♊︎: THAT SOUNDS ALMOST LIIKE BEIING TRAPPED IIN A HELM.
♊︎: ΨOU'RE IIN THERE FOR SO LONG AND ΨOUR PHΨSIICAL BODΨ CAN'T MOVE SO ΨOUR MIIND IIS JUST RUSHIING THROUGH EVERΨTHIING. THIINGS THAT ΨOU THIINK ONLΨ HAPPENED A FEW SWEEPS AGO WERE ACTUALLΨ A FEW HUNDRED. EVERΨTHIING JUST SEEMS LIIKE SOME TERRIIBLE DREAM WHERE TIIME DOESN'T MATTER AND ALL ΨOU CAN DO IIS HANG THERE AS THE CODE BURNS IINTO ΨOUR PAN EVERΨ TIIME ΨOU TRΨ TO THIINK OTHERWIISE.
♊︎: OBEΨ SUBMIIT ALL HAIIL HER IIMPERIIOUS CONDESCENSIION OBEΨ SUBMIIT ALL HAIIL HER IIMPERIIOUS CONDESCENSIION OBEΨ SUBMIIT.
♊︎: THAT WOULD START SCREAMIING THROUGH EVERΨTHIING IIF ΨOU TRIIED TO THINK ANΨTHIING BEΨOND SERVIING.
GG: :(
GG: im sorry!
GG: i didnt mean to bring that up
♊︎: II'M NOT GOIING TO DIIE IIF ΨOU BRIING UP MΨ ENSLAVEMENT.
♊︎: SHE'S DEAD AND II'M NOT.
GG: well once we cross the yellow yard i can introduce you to sollux!!!
GG: i dont know if hell remember me but i think itll be really cool if you meet!
GG: since hes sorta like your son?
♊︎: II TOLD ΨOU BEFORE, TROLLS DON'T WORK LIIKE THAT.
♊︎: HE'S MΨ DESCENDANT, NOT MΨ OFFSPRIING.
GG: well yeah but you said rosa raised kankri from a little grub!
GG: he was like her little baby wasnt he?
GG: maybe once this is all done you can sorta do the same for sollux?
GG: like how nanna is looking after us :)
♊︎: II DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIIS.
GG: :(
GG: okay
EB: um well we got our first mission!
EB: so uh lets go do that!
GG: yeah!
♊︎: FIINE.
EB: anyway let's not worry about that stuff!
EB: we can just play games on a magical flying boat in between sessions of a game that blew up our universes.
♊︎: WELL WHEN ΨOU SAΨ IIT LIIKE THAT >:P
GG: hehe well i hope rose and dave will be okay!
GG: karkat has probably made them insane by now
GG: SHORT TROLL SΨNDROME.
GG: pffft!
♊︎: HEΨ IIT'S TRUE.
♊︎: THE SHORTEST ONES CAN ALWAΨS SCREAM THE LOUDEST.
♊︎: LIIKE READIING THOSE TROLLIIAN LOGS ΨOU HAD WIITH HIIM GAVE ME MAD SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT, GUΨ WAS BASIICALLΨ THROWIING HIIMSELF AT ΨOU BOTH.
GG: haha so was karkat being a shameless hussy by troll standards????
♊︎: PRETTΨ MUCH, ΨEAH.
♊︎: HE CALMED DOWN FOR THAT FROG THIING BUT FFS BEFOREHAND...
♊︎: HE WAS EVEN PIITCH FLIIRTIING WIITH HIIMSELF, THERE'S SOMETHIING BENT IIN HIIS PAN.
EB: its all so complicated and bothersome, matters of the heart.
EB: alright fine jade, go ahead and laugh at my choice of words but its true.
EB: it's really befuddling and distracting when you are on a major quest to make universes out of frogs. who even needs it?
GG: i guess you have a point
EB: like, you remember that troll girl who was into me?
GG: sorta?
EB: well i seemed like a big deal at the time, it really seemed like she liked me but was also like *probably* insane?
EB: like, i mean in a trollish, murdery way.
GG: yikes
EB: but craziness notwithstanding, i didn't really know what to think.
EB: i guess i thought she was cool at the time. i was honestly kind of flummoxed about it.
EB: but the point is, when all was said and done, that was just some stuff that happened over one day, which was a whole year ago already.
EB: i barely even remember what we talked about. by the time we meet up, she probably won't give a shit about me at all.
EB: which, let's face it, is probably for the best.
♊︎: CONSIIDERIING SHE WAS A COBALT AND A COMPLETE BIITCH TO BOOT, ΨOU'RE RIIGHT.
EB: what do you mean?
♊︎: LOOK, ΨOU KNOW HOW II READ OVER ALL ΨOUR SHIIT WIITH THE TROLLS RIIGHT?
♊︎: AND THAT ASSHOLE FRIIEND OF ΨOURS IIS A CLASSIIC CURELEAN 'WHO WANTS TO DO GOOD' BUT NATURALLΨ SHE DOES IIT IIN A WAΨ SHE FUCKS EVERΨONE ELSE OVER.
♊︎: THE ONLΨ REASON SHE EVEN KIILLED THAT BROWNBLOOD WAS BECAUSE HE DARED TO TELL HER 'NO' AND HIIGHBLOODS CAN'T HANDLE NOT BEIING THE CENTRE OF THE UNIIVERSE OR ANΨONE BELOW THEIIR CASTE DARIING TO STAND UP TO THEM.
♊︎: IIT'S JUST HOW ALL HIIGHBLOODS ARE.
♊︎: THEΨ'RE JUST PIIECES OF SELF SERVIING SHIIT WHO THROW TANTRUMS IIF ΨOU DARE TO GIIVE THEM A TASTE OF THEIIR OWN MEDIICIINE.
♊︎: ΨOU WERE STUPIID TO EVER TRUST ANΨTHIING THAT CAME OUT OF THAT BLUE ASSHOLE'S MOUTH BUT THAT'S BECAUSE SHE PREΨED ON ΨOUR IIGNORANCE AS AN ALIIEN.
♊︎: LIIKE THAT TEAL WHO KIILLED ΨOU IIN DAVESPRIITE'S TIIMELIINE, THEΨ'RE TECHNIICALLΨ MIIDBLOODS BUT SIINCE THEΨ'RE ABOVE JADE THEΨ'RE ALWAΨS TRΨIING TO CLAW UP HIIGHER SO THEΨ'RE BASIICALLΨ HONOURARΨ HIIGHBLOODS ANΨWAΨ SIINCE THEΨ HELP PROP UP THE STATUS QUO WIITH ALL THEIIR LAW HOOFBEAST SHIIT.
♊︎: SHE JUST KIILLED ΨOU BECAUSE SHE FOUND IIT FUNNΨ. THAT'S HOW HIIGHBLOODS FUNCTIION.
♊︎: THEΨ THIINK KIILLIING OTHERS IIS ENTERTAIINMENT OR THEIIR RIIGHT, BECAUSE OF THEIIR BLOOD.
♊︎: THEΨ'RE DIISGUSTIING ANIIMALS THAT'LL STAB ΨOU IIN THE BACK THE IINSTANT ΨOU'RE NOT HELPFUL OR OF USE.
♊︎: EVEN THE 'NIICE' ONES ARE LIIKE THAT, THEΨ'LL SPIIN LIINES AND SHIIT TO TRΨ AND JUSTIIFΨ THEIIR ACTIIONS FOR THE GREATER GOOD BUT AT THE END OF THE DAΨ ALL THAT SHIIT DOESN'T ACTUALLΨ HARM THEM, IIT'S EVERΨONE ELSE THAT'S TAKIING THE FALL.
♊︎: THAT'S JUST HOW IIT IIS.
♊︎: THE TROLL RACE BEIING WIIPED OUT WAS THE BEST THIING TO EVER HAPPEN.
♊︎: AND IIF THOSE LIITTLE FUCKS TRΨ THAT SHIIT WIITH ME AROUND II'LL KIILL THEM.
♊︎: II'M NOT LETTIINIG SOMETHIING LIIKE THE ALTERNIIAN EMPIIRE HAPPEN EVER AGAIIN.
♊︎: EVEN IIF II HAVE TO FIINIISH WHAT THE GLUB STARTED TO ENSURE THAT.
EB: ...
GG: :(
EB: um
EB: hey look!
EB: that fat dude up over there on the horizon.
EB: follow me so we can seize the high ground against this hideous ocean dwelling marshmallow man, and steal all of his treasure.
GG: after you!
EB: ΨEAH ΨEAH, LET'S GO.
GG: and once we do this we can go get more cake!
GG: nanna has been cooking up a storm :)

Mituna [♊︎] has started pestering ectobiologist [EB]

♊︎: SO WHAT'S THE POIINT OF AN HEIIR?
EB: that's a pretty loaded question!
♊︎: DIIDN'T THAT SHIITTΨ GAME HAVE A GUIIDE OF SOME SORT?
EB: not really.
EB: i guess our sprites sorta are but they also wrap a lot of things up in riddles and nanna was always a trickster.
EB: but from what i gathered your class and aspect mean a lot to each other.
EB: so i'm not sure how an heir of doom could relate to an heir of breath.
EB: i know breath has to do with the windy thing!
EB: so i can control the breeze and even turn into it to the point jade is even complaining she can't smell me most of the time.
EB: it also made me a lot better of a listener? since talking is breath so i'm now a champion eavesdropper.
EB: but i think your title + aspect is a 'mythological roll' from what nanna said?
♊︎: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
EB: well heir is a class right? like a witch and knight and seer.
EB: i know the trolls had a lot more classes since they had a dozen players, like karkat was a knight like dave but he was a blood player which we don't have.
EB: every viable session needs a time and space player though, which i think this next session we're heading to won't have.
EB: vriska was a thief of light and from what she described light in the game context is luck/fortune and she could steal luck from others while making herself lucky.
♊︎: SO WHΨ AS ΨOUR SEER SO SHIIT IIF SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO SEE THE MOST FAVOURABLE OUTCOMES?
♊︎: ΨOU GUΨS GOT CONNED ALL TO FUCK.
EB: going godtier really increased my powers and jade couldn't shrink or resize things until she went godtier either.
EB: rose didn't go godtier until our session was completely shit and they detonated the tumour so that's why she didn't see it, i guess.
EB: i think a lot of the classes also have 'opposites' or partners, from nanna's explaination?
EB: like thieves steal for their own benefit but rogues steal for the benefit of others.
♊︎: SO THIIEVES ARE PIIECES OF SHIIT, GOT IIT.
EB: i'd maybe argue nuance but yeah, vriska wasn't a good person so i can't really defend that.
EB: i didn't talk to the troll nepeta who was their rogue. i don't know what aspect she was.
EB: i think some classes are gender locked though!
EB: like princes being male and witches female.
♊︎: WHΨ WOULD THAT MATTER?
♊︎: IIT WOULD ONLΨ BE RELEVANT TO SPECIIES LIIKE ΨOURS THAT REPRODUCE SEXUALLΨ, TROLLS DON'T, GENDER DOESN'T MATTER.
♊︎: SO WHΨ WOULD CLASSES BE GENDER LOCKED?
EB: i uh.
EB: i don't know?
EB: wait, if you guys are bug people with that queen grub or whatever, why do you even have gender?
♊︎: WE JUST HAVE THE SAME GENDER AS OUR LUSUS.
♊︎: IIT'S JUST A PRONOUN AND HAS NO REAL IIMPACT.
♊︎: II MEAN, FEMALE TROLLS TEND TO BE MORE AGGRESSIIVE BUT II THIINK PART OF THAT IIS JUST EMULATIING THE EMPRESS WHO WAS A FUCKIING BIITCHΨ MONSTER.
EB: is the empress always a girl?
♊︎: IIDK
♊︎: THERE'S ONLΨ EVER BEEN HER.
♊︎: AFTER SHE KIILLED THE PREVIIOUS EMPRESS SHE BASIICALLΨ SCRUBBED OUT ANΨ REFERENCE TO ANΨ EMPRESS OUTSIIDE OF HER.
♊︎: EVERΨ SO OFTEN THERE WIILL BE AN HEIIR AND THEΨ CAN HAVE DIIFFERENT GENDERS BUT THE MAJORIITΨ ARE GIIRLS.
♊︎: AND DIIFFERENT SIIGNS, THE ONE IIN THE GAME SESSIION WAS HER LATEST HEIIRESS/DESCENDANT IIN A COUPLE OF HUNDRED SWEEPS.
♊︎: BUT THAT'S ALL IIRRELEVANT NOW WIITH THE DESTRUCTIION OF THE EMPIIRE.
EB: wait so how did that work with kankri, if he got raised by rosa who was his lusus/mother?
♊︎: KANKRII HAD THOSE VIISIIONS SO HE KNEW HE WAS MALE FROM THAT.
♊︎: FROM WHAT ROSA SAIID HE WAS A GIIRL FOR A BIIT UNTIIL HE GOT OLD ENOUGH TO CHANGE HIIS MIIND.
♊︎: LIIKE WHO THE FUCK CARES? WE GOT ALL THE SAME JUNK DOWN THERE SO GENDER IIS PRETTΨ USELESS TO TROLLS BEΨOND PRONOUNS.
♊︎: SAME WIITH SEXUAL ORIIENTATIION, LIIKE ΨOUR 'OMG NOT A HOMO' THIING.
EB: hey that was cross cultural bullshit!
EB: besides who hits on someone they just met and is an alien?
EB: it was so weird!
EB: besides the fact i'm not into boys we don't even do that hate romance troll rubbish.
♊︎: ΨEAH ΨOU'D BE A SHIIT KIISMESIIS, ΨOUR RAGE BURNS TOO HOT AND NASTΨ.
♊︎: JADE WOULD BE FAIIRLΨ DECENT AND DAVE WOULD JUST SUCK IIN ANΨ QUADRANT.
♊︎: II WOULDN'T RECOMMEND ANΨ OF IIT FOR ΨOU.
♊︎: THO ΨEAH THAT KARKAT WAS PRETTΨ SHAMELESS H4H4H4H4
♊︎: FUNNIIEST SHIIT EVER.
EB: well try not to tease him too much! he did apologize for being such a douche.
EB: meanwhile you can be really dickish and don't know when to stop when you're really pissing people off.
♊︎: OH II KNOW, II JUST DON'T CARE.
EB: yeah that totally makes it better.
♊︎: ANΨWAΨ WE'RE GETTING OFF TRACK, ME RAGGIING ΨOU ALIIENS.
♊︎: GO BACK TO THE MΨTHOLOGIICAL ROLE THIING ΨOU MENTIIONED.
EB: yeah yeah.
EB: that's the classpect, the combination of your class and aspect.
EB: so like, a seer of light will function a lot different from a seer of time, right?
EB: and i'm not really sure what doom means, we have doomed timelines and everything but i don't think that's what i means with your one.
EB: in human terms heir is someone who inherits shit, but i don't know. how do you inherit air?
EB: or breath but at the same time my aspect is breath and air and windy things.
♊︎: FREEDOM?
EB: i guess?
EB: don't see how that is relevant unless i'm supposed to help us escape this shitty game.
EB: you can only go on so many alchemy binges before it becomes booooooooring.
♊︎: DON'T ΨOU FUCKIING TROLL QUIIRK AT ME, ESPECIIALLΨ WIITH THAT BIITCH COBALT'S QUIIRK.
EB: sheesh fine settle down.
EB: but your aspect seems to be shared with your descendent troll son guy right?
EB: sollux never spoke to us but i'm guess he's a doom player like you but his class would be different.
EB: since jade talked to feferi who was a witch of life.
EB: and you said the condesce was able to extend your life with seatroll majyyks right?
♊︎: II SUPPOSE THAT MAKES SENSE, WHO WAS THE HEIIR IIN THE TROLLS WHO TALKED TO ΨOU?
EB: no idea!
♊︎: ΨOUR COMMUNIICATIION IIS SHIIT, THIIS IIS PISSIING ME OFF.
♊︎: ΨOU COULDN'T ASK BASIIC FUCKIING QUESTIIONS?
EB: well how the fuck would i know we'd pick up a hitchhiker?
EB: and its not like most of the trolls were helpful, most of them were just assholes and annoying.
EB: there were a few comments there, like kanaya mentioned a prince of hope in one of her logs to rose but it's not like they gave us a list.
EB: and there was terezi, she was the seer of mind?
EB: but i don't know who the heir is!
EB: we can just ask that at the next session.
♊︎: PRESUMIING THEΨ AREN'T DEAD.
EB: yeah well, really hoping that isn't the case dude!
EB: can you not be a grumpy fuck for once?
EB: i don't know how jade puts up with this.
♊︎: HEΨ, SHE IINVIITED ΨOU TO THOSE SCIIENCE NIIGHTS. NOT MΨ FAULT ΨOU'RE A DUMB SHIIT AND CAN'T UNDERSTAND BASIIC TERMS LIIKE QUANTUM PHΨSIICS AND ATX.
EB: you guys are just nerds is the problem.
EB: all that science stuff is so boring!
♊︎: ΨEAH ΨEAH, 'CAUSE ΨOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND IIT.
EB: jade's a space player who builds computers and robots in her spare time while your brain is like half computer and you even have wire ports in your wrists.
EB: so excuse me for not getting all your nerd jabbering.
♊︎: BOO HOO, JUST ADMIIT ΨOU'RE A DUMBASS.
EB: well why don't you admit you have shit taste in movies!
♊︎: ALL THE MOVIIE'S WE'VE BEEN WATCHIING ARE HUMAN MOVIIES, IIF ANΨTHIING THAT JUST PROVES ΨOUR SPECIIES HAS SHIITTΨ TASTE.
EB: well your species made ours so its your fault we have shitty movies, check mate.
♊︎: HUH.
♊︎: OKAΨ, ΨOU GOT ME THERE.
♊︎: TERMIINATOR IIS A GOOD MOVIIE, THO
EB: hey wait, since you mentioned that it got me thinking.
EB: you share an aspect with sollux, right? Doom?
EB: that would mean kankri would've shared his aspect with karkat, right? Blood?
EB: so maybe these visions he talked about was him being a seer?
EB: like he was seeing the blood memories of the game players in the universe before yours where everything wasn't complete shit?
♊︎: ...
♊︎: II SUPPOSE THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE.
♊︎: ΨOU GUΨS HAVEN'T MET THOSE FIIRST TROLL PLAΨERS, THOUGH? JADE ONLΨ HAS VAGUE MEMORIIES OF HER DREAM SELF BEIING DEAD.
♊︎: SO IIDK
EB: it's the only thing that would make sorta sense, don't you think?
EB: man these dreambubbles suck!
EB: if i met your little alt version i could just ask him this shit, ask him what he was doing as an heir of doom.
EB: maybe he figured out how to scratch their crappy session since they didn't have any asshole aliens trolling them?
EB: inherits doom kinda spread over to you though, considering all the shit you went through and then survived.
EB: you just being alive is basically you fullfilling your mythological role, right?
♊︎: BORN TO SUFFER, FUCK ME.
♊︎: ME AND KANKRII SHOULD SWIITCH OUR FUCKIING TIITLES IIF THAT'S THE CASE.
EB: well you can, right?
EB: who is going to correct you since your entire universe exploded like ours?
EB: history is a thing of the past.
♊︎: THAT'S LIITERALLΨ WHAT HIISTORΨ IIS.
EB: oh yeah you're right.
EB: but like i said you can just make up your own now, who's going to say otherwise?
EB: prime pranking material if you ask me.
♊︎: THAT BUCKET TRIICK WAS PRETTΨ FUNNΨ LMAO
EB: which is weird cause i thought trolls had a hang up with cleaning equipment.
♊︎: PFFT.
♊︎: NEXT TIIME ΨOU THROW A BUCKET AT THAT KARKAT GUΨ FIILL IIT WIITH BLUE JELLΨ.
♊︎: II DOUBLE DOG DARE ΨOU.
EB: well my prankster gambit can't reject that!
EB: and i think karkat's rages would be like, so much funnier in person.
EB: i wonder if he actually talks as fast and loudly as he types.
♊︎: EH KANKRII WAS A RAMBLER AS WELL WHEN HE GOT NERVOUS.
♊︎: THERE WAS A COUPLE OF TIIMES ROSA GAVE SOME TROLLS A HIIDIING 'CAUSE THEΨ'D GIIVE HIIM SHIIT OVER IIT.
♊︎: BUT ΨEAH, II THIINK ΨOU'RE RIIGHT ABOUT HIIM BEIING A SEER OF BLOOD.
♊︎: IIT WOULD EXPLAIIN HIIS WEIIRD VIISIIONS, ABOUT A LIIFE WHERE TROLLS WEREN'T JUST BUTCHERIING AND ABUSIING EACH OTHER.
♊︎: II THOUGHT HE WAS CRAZΨ, WHIICH II SUPPOSE HE SORTA WAS.
EB: what kind of visions did he have?
EB: i think rose just got some 'feelings' but i don't actually know if that was game powers of her just being her.
EB: or the horrorterrors talking to her, i still don't know what she was saying when all grimdarky and smoky.
♊︎: WHΨ WAS SHE TALKIING TO VOIID BEIINGS IIF SHE WAS A LIIGHT PLAΨER? SHOULDN'T THAT SKAIIA PLACE BE WHERE SHE WAS LOOKIING FOR ANSWERS? AND WHΨ WASN'T SHE A SKAIIA PLAΨER?
♊︎: THIIS GAME IIS DUMB, ΨOU'D THIINK IIT WOULD APPLΨ CHARACTER'S PERSONALIITIIES WHEN ASSIIGNIING CLASSES.
EB: well rose always likes to think about things, then talk about things and then think some more so i think a seer suits her!
EB: she also really likes knowing things.
♊︎: BUT WHΨ LIIGHT?
♊︎: THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO FIIT HER AT ALL.
♊︎: JADE WAS THE ONE SEEIING THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE IIN SKAIIA'S CLOUDS SO IIT WOULD'VE MADE MORE SENSE FOR HER TO BE THE SEER.
EB: i dunno, don't ask me how this game functions. it gives you a classpect to challenge you and shit, like how game tasks and goals are.
EB: but maybe her wanting to rip down the game when it was doomed to fail fit with her being a seer of fortune?
EB: she wanted to put light on the problem and blah blah blah.
EB: stuff like that.
♊︎: II SITILL THIINK IIT'S DUMB.
♊︎: THEN AGAIIN II THOUGHT KANKRII'S VIISIIONS WERE DUMB.
♊︎: SOME OF THE SHIIT HE TOLD ME WAS PRETTΨ IINSANE.
EB: like what?
♊︎: WELL SOME WERE JUST BASIIC SHIIT, LIIKE TROLLS OF ALL BLOOD COLOURS GETTIING ALONG.
♊︎: BEIING ABLE TO WALK IN THE SUN WAS ANOTHER.
♊︎: AND HIIM BEIING ABLE TO WALK ABOUT IIN PUBLIIC WIITH HIIS CRIIMSON BLOOD ON SHOW WIITHOUT FEAR OF BEIING BEATEN TO DEATH IIN THE STREETS.
♊︎: OR ΨIIONIICS LIIKE ME NOT HAVING A FEAR OF BEING STRUNG UP AS BATTERIIES AND TREATED AS THIINGS.
♊︎: BUT II STIILL REMEMBER ONE HE TOLD ME, ONE NIIGHT WHEN WE WERE CAMPIING OUT IIN THE WOODS.
♊︎: MEULIIN WAS HUNTIING FOR BREAKFAST WHIILE ROSA WAS ASLEEP SO IIT WAS JUST ME AND HIIM.
♊︎: AND HE TOLD ME ABOUT THE DREAM HE HAD AND II THOUGHT HE WAS JUST MAKIING UP SHIIT SIINCE IIT SEEMED SO UNBELIIEVEABLE TO ME.
♊︎: SO HE TOLD ME ABOUT HOW HE SAW HIIMSELF AND THE EMPRESS.
♊︎: HE WAS IIN HER HIIVE AND SHE HAD IINVIITED HIIM OVER TO TRΨ THESE CUPCAKES SHE HAD BAKED.
♊︎: SOME NEW SPIICE FLAVOURED CUPCAKES WIITH THIIS CREAM CHEESE FROSTIING, JUST WEIIRD SHIIT.
♊︎: AND HE KNEW IIT WAS THE EMPRESS, HE KNEW HER HATCHNAME LIIKE HE KNEW MIINE FROM THE MOMENT WE MET.
♊︎: THOUGH IIT WASN'T UNTIIL LATER WHEN II WAS ENSLAVED IIN THE HELM DIID II FIIND OUT HIIS WAS RIIGHT ABOUT HER HATCHNAME.
♊︎: BUT ANΨWAΨ HE TOLD ME ABOUT THAT DREAM.
♊︎: AND IIT WAS JUST SO MUNDANE. SO BORIING.
♊︎: HE WAS JUST EATIING CUPCAKES IIN THE EMPRESS'S HIVE.
♊︎: AND HE FIINIISHED HIIS STORΨ WITH 'and I could sit right next to her. I wasn't afraid of her. She was my friend'.
♊︎: II TOLD HIIM HE WAS CRAZΨ, THAT THAT HORRIIBLE VIILE BIITCH WOULD KIILL HIIM IIN AN IINSTANT SHE EVER MET HIIM FACE TO FACE.
♊︎: II KINDA WIISH II NEVER SAIID IIT AS HE JUST SORTA CRUMBLED AND DIIDN'T SAΨ ANΨTHIING ELSE UNTIIL MEULIIN SHOWED UP.
♊︎: AND II SUPPOSE II NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW HORRIIBLE IIT MUST BE TO HAVE MEMORIIES OF ANOTHER LIIFE. TO REMEMBER THAT THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CAPTURE AND HURT AND MULTIILATE ΨOU USED TO BE ΨOUR FRIIENDS. TO REMEMBER ALL THAT AND BE STUCK IIN A SHIITHOLE WORLD LIIKE ALTERNIIA.
♊︎: AND WIITH THAT ZODIIAC THIING IIT MUST'VE MEAN HE KNEW THE EXECUTOR AND GRAND HIIGHBLOOD IIN THAT OTHER LIIFE. AND HE KNEW HIIS PAST FRIIENDS WERE GOIING TO TORTURE HIM TO DEATH.
♊︎: II FUCKIING HATE THIIS GAME.
♊︎: II HATE IIT SO MUCH.
EB: that whole thing does seem like shit.
EB: i know dave could sorta see different timelines due to being a time player but at least we all know we're in a game?
EB: otherwise it would be so confusing if i was still just doing normal things and then randomly turned into air.
EB: i don't know.
EB: it was like how vriska said, after she killed her friend.
EB: but even before that she had been killing people to feed her lusus and she just casually talked about it.
EB: and even forgot she killed another one of her friends before that????????
EB: then when she talked about fighting jack she said it was to protect her friends but she already killed two of them.
EB: so in all honesty if they needed to be protected from anyone it was her, i really hope dave and rose are okay.
EB: even when she told me about her ancestor, who would've been one of those friends kankri might have remembered?
EB: she still sounded terrible. i suppose in hindsight i never really thought about someone being a pirate and enslaving people but if that's the kind of person vriska looked up to little wonder she turned so messed up.
EB: so i guess you have a point that the vast glub was the best thing to happen since everything about troll life was maximun terrible.
EB: and it's sorta hard to tell you to quit being troll racist when you keep getting vindicated in that opinion all the time.
♊︎: II TAKE IIT ΨOU'RE STIILL NOT OPEN TO A 'HOW MANΨ DEAD' BETTIING POOL?
EB: nope!
EB: not yet that morbid!
EB: but yeah, i think the whole discussion about aspects and everything might work a bit more if we have rose- as a seer she should know?
EB: or if that doesnt work maybe the meteor passed through more dream bubbles than we have.
EB: i sorta thought we'd be crashing through them like every day or something but we can go months without a single glint of one and then it's only like an hour or we miss it completely.
♊︎: COULD BE THE FOURTH WALL THIING?
EB: maybe, jade said the same.
EB: it just makes the trip boring!
♊︎: WE CAN DO ANOTHER CAKE WAR :P
♊︎: II'M SURE NANNA WIILL BE DOWN.
EB: uuuugh i'm sick of being pelted with cake!
♊︎: II'LL GET ΨOU WIITH A PIIE LATER THEN.
EB: no don't throw any of that at me!
EB: even if these godtier pyjamas are self cleaning it's still a pain in the ass.
♊︎: FIINE FIINE, II WON'T AMBUSH ΨOU WIITH PIIE.
♊︎: SIINCE II'M COMPLETELΨ SURE ΨOU WEREN'T THE ONE WHO GOT ME WIITH THAT 'BUCKET FULL OF WATER OVER A DOOR' PRANK.
EB: okay to be fair i was trying to get jade with that.
EB: and i can just ajsgfdnkhjlkgfd
♊︎: PFFFT H4H4H4
EB: what the fuuuuuuck
EB: did you booby trap my fucking sylladex????
EB: how????
EB: fuck, there's frosting everywhere!
♊︎: MIIGHT WANNA ASK NANNA FOR THAT ONE LOL
♊︎: SPEAKIING OF WHIICH, DIID ΨOU GET HIIT BΨ THOSE CONFETTII CANNONS ΨET?
♊︎: JADE WAS PRETTΨ HAPPΨ SHE MANAGED TO ALCHEMIIZE THEM.
EB: what can
EB: AARGH
♊︎: II'M TAKIING THAT ΨELLIING AS A ΨES LOL

Mituna [♊︎] has started pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

♊︎: WHAT THE FUCK IIS GOIING ON WIITH ΨOU ALIIENS?
GG: nothing
♊︎: CUT THE SHIIT JADE.
♊︎: II COULD HEAR JOHN'S SCREAMIING FROM THE FUCKIING SALAMANDER VIILLAGE.
♊︎: EVEN THOSE DUMB FUCKERS SORTA PAUSED IIN THEIIR MEADERIING TO BE ALL 'BLUH BLUH WUT IIS THAT SCREECHIING?' BEFORE GOIING BACK TO LAZIING AROUND AND GIIVIING ME MORE FOOD.
♊︎: SO WTF HAPPENED, ΨOU TWO FIIGHTIING?
♊︎: CAUSE II HATE TO SAΨ IIT BUT MΨ CAGERS ARE ON HIIM.
♊︎: ALSO DON'T REALLΨ WANNA STOP STUFFIING MΨ GOB WIITH THESE MUSHROOM PIIES TO IINTERVENE.
♊︎: EVEN IIF IIT'S PROBABLΨ A HATCHMATE FIIGHT OR SOME FUCKIING THIING.
GG: were not fighting!!
♊︎: THEN WHΨ THE SCREAMIING?
♊︎: FUCK IIT, II'M TAKIING THIIS PIIE TO GO.
♊︎: ΨOU'RE STIILL AT JOHN'S HIIVE FOR THAT DUMBSHIIT MOVIIE PARTΨ RIIGHT?
GG: look im fine!
GG: davesprite just made a shitty joke and did some other shit and john is pissed off, thats all
GG: he kinda had a tantrum in the dirveway and passed out??
GG: i carried him back to the couch but he hasnt woken up :/
GG: but its nothing more than that, davesprite just didnt show to the party and john got mad
♊︎: OH IIS IIT CAUSE ΨOU GUΨS AREN'T MATESPRIITS ANΨMORE?
GG: what!!
GG: how did you know that??
♊︎: CAUSE IIT WAS FUCKIING OBVIIOUS?
♊︎: BOTH DATIING AND NOT?
♊︎: WHAT'S THE BIIG DEAL ANΨWAΨ, THE FIIRST HEART BARELΨ EVER WORKS OUT.
♊︎: ΨOU DON'T KNOW HOW THE FUCK ΨOU REALLΨ WORK FLUSHED, ΨOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ΨOU REALLΨ WANT IIN A CONCUPIISCENT RELATIIONSHIIP.
♊︎: THERE'S ALWAΨS TRIIAL AND ERROR IIN THIIS KIIND OF THIING AND WIITH ΨOU AND DAVESPRIITE ΨOU BASIICALLΨ HAD NECESSIITΨ PUSHIING IIT.
GG: what do you mean?
♊︎: WELL WHO THE FUCK ELSE CAN ΨOU HUMP ON THIIS SHIIP?
GG: pffft dont say it like that :D
♊︎: IIT'S TRUE.
♊︎: THERE WAS ALREADΨ THAT WEIIRD IINCEST THIING ABOUT ΨOU AND JOHN WHIICH II STIILL DON'T UNDERSTAND, SIINCE II THIINK ΨOU GUΨS COMPLIIMENT EACH OTHER PRETTΨ WELL. BUT BLOODKIIN IIS A TABOO FOR ΨOU HUMANS SO HE'S OUT.
♊︎: SAME WIITH NANNA.
♊︎: AND THEN THERE IIS MΨSELF AND II'M SO BIITTER AND BURNTOUT EVEN KANKRII WOULD SHAKE HIIS HEAD SEEIING ME NOW.
GG: thats not true!
GG: i think youre attractive!
GG: i mean um
♊︎: LOL
GG: objectively!
GG: youre super tall and smart and funny even if your humour is kinda mean
GG: youre also a great listener and actually want to learn more about science!
GG: so i like spending time with you and making robots and fucking about with the computers!
GG: and i know kankri would still love you
♊︎: H4H4 ΨOU HUMANS REALLΨ ARE SWEET.
♊︎: IIF II HAD TO TRΨ HUMAN, WOULD TRΨ ΨOU :P
GG: im taking that as a compliment! <3
♊︎: GOOD, CAUSE IIT WAS.
♊︎: BUT ΨEAH, ONLΨ FLUSHED II COULD SEE ΨOU FIILLIING WIITH DAVESPRIITE.
♊︎: SO WHAT GIIVES?
GG: well he did dump me but that wasnt what john was so mad about
GG: i mean sorta but he wasnt making sense!
GG: i think two years on this ship is taking a lot out of him :(
GG: he was raised in a normal city and neighbourhood so being stuck on the ship is really getting to him
GG: and i think i neglected him :(
GG: he talked about how shoved to the side he felt about me and davesprite dating because he didnt want to interupt us
GG: which is silly!!!!
GG: hes our friend it wouldnt be interupting!
♊︎: LOOK, IIT MAΨ BE FIINE TO ΨOU BUT BEIING OUTSIIDE OF A RELATIIONSHIIP CAN BE FUCKIING AWKWARD.
♊︎: II HAD A LOT OF THAT WHEN II JOIINED KANKRII.
♊︎: HE ALREADΨ HAD ROSA AS HIIS LUSUS AND MEULIIN AS HIIS PARTNER.
♊︎: SO ΨEAH, II FELT LIIKE A FOURTH WHEEL AT TIIMES.
♊︎: ESPECIIALLΨ SIINCE HIIS RELATIIONSHIIPS DIIDN'T ADHERE TO TROLL STANDARDS.
♊︎: II'D SEEN LUSUS AND OTHER ANIIMALS HAVE ΨOUNG BUT SEEIING A TROLL, A GODDAMN FULL GROWN JADE RAIINBOW DRIINKER, TREATIING KANKRII AS IITS CHARGE, ACTIING LIIKE A LUSUS/MOTHER WIITH ALL THE FUSSIING, WAS FUCKIING BIIZARRE.
♊︎: AND THEN THERE WAS HIIS QUADRANT WIITH MEULIIN WHIICH, AFTER WATCHIING THOSE HUMAN MOVIIES, IIS WAΨ MORE LIIKE HUMAN ROMANCE. SIINCE IIT ALMOST SEEMED TO MASH ALL THE QUADRANTS TOGETHER.
♊︎: AND THEN THERE WAS ME.
♊︎: LIIKE...THEΨ NEVER MADE ME FEEL UNWELCOMED, AFTER II GOT THEIIR TRUST.
♊︎: WELL, MEULIIN AND ROSA. KANKRII TRUSTED ME IINSTANTLΨ WHIICH WAS FUCKIING WEIIRD SIINCE II WAS SUCH A RUDE BIITCH TO HIIM.
♊︎: BUT THERE WAS A BASIIC LEVEL OF DIISTANCE SIINCE II WASN'T IIN A QUADRANT AND IIT WAS ALWAΨS THERE IIN THE BACK OF MΨ PAN.
♊︎: KANKRII...HUH, GUESS WE GOT REALLΨ *REALLΨ* PALE AT TIIMES AND MEULIIN NEVER GOT POSSESSIIVE OVER IIT AND SOMETIIMES EVEN ENCOURAGED IIT WHIICH MADE ME FEEL LIIKE SOME SLOPPΨ SLUT BUT FFS II WAS PRETTΨ DESPERATE AT TIIMES.
♊︎: BUT II THIINK IIT WAS JUST NECESSARΨ SIINCE II WAS SO FUCKIING ANGRΨ MOST OF THE TIIME RATHER THAN HIIM WANTIING A DIIAMOND.
GG: i dont think it was just because you were mad!
GG: from what ive gathered from all your stories kankri loved you lots and lots :((
GG: they all did!
GG: you were all a family
GG: and i think troll society was just so shitty it didnt have a word for it
GG: but humans do
GG: and i like to think maybe we do because of him, and dolorosa and meulin and yourself!
GG: humans raise humans like how the dolorosa raised kankri
GG: and human relationships are like his and meulin
GG: and then theres your friendship with them all!
GG: karkat kept saying trolls dont have friends or its some kind of disease but i call bullshit!
GG: if it wasnt for my friends i would be alone on my island and if it wasnt for my friends i wouldnt be waiting on this ship!
GG: just because you had friendship doesnt mean its any less than the other relationships youve had or he did
♊︎: SEEMS ΨOU'RE SOLVIING ΨOUR OWN PROBLEM, HUH?
GG: i
GG: oh shit :|
GG: guess youre right
GG: i did kinda prioritize my relationship with davesprite but how was i supposed to know john was bothered by it??
GG: he didnt say shit until he suddenly exploded today
♊︎: THAT'S THE LESSON LEARNED THEN, IISN'T IIT?
♊︎: LIIKE WHAT II SAIID, THE FIIRST QUAD IIS JUST A LEARNIING EXPERIIENCE. ΨOU FUCK UP OR BREAK UP, ONE OR THE OTHER OR A MIIX OF BOTH.
♊︎: AND SEEMS ΨOU GUΨS BROKE UP.
♊︎: SO HOW MUCH OF A FUCK UP WAS IIT?
GG: not too much
GG: he just has a lot of things going on
♊︎: WELL WE'RE GETTIING CLOSER TO THIIS NEXT SESSIION SO II GUESS THE 'WELP GONNA DIIE SOON' BULLSHIIT CAUGHT UP WIITH HIIM SO HE SELF DESTRUCTED.
♊︎: BΨ DOIING A SHIITTΨ PRANK ON JOHN AND BREAKIING UP WIITH ΨOU.
♊︎: AND THEN RUNNIING AWAΨ AND BEIING A SAD BIITCH SOMEWHERE.
GG: dont call him that!!
♊︎: IIT'S TRUE, THE FUCK ELSE IIS HE DOIING?
GG: um
GG: i dont know!
GG: but dont call him that, hes got a lot happening :(
♊︎: SO IIT'S TOTALLΨ FIINE HE'S BEIING A FUCKHEAD AND TAKIING IIT OUT ON ΨOU TWO?
GG: its not fine!!!!
GG: but i dont think yelling at him will help
♊︎: DUNNO, ΨOU TRΨ IIT?
GG: nope :p
♊︎: ΨOU'RE NO FUN.
GG: whatever im loads of fun!
GG: besides if i start screaming at everyone im just going to turn into karkat
♊︎: ΨEAH HE SEEMS LIIKE A SHIIT.
♊︎: II'LL GIIVE HIIM A HIIDIING FOR ΨOU WHEN WE MEET UP IIN THAT NEXT SESSIION.
GG: you dont need to do that, i can do it myself
GG: and he isnt godtier!!
GG: you might kill him on accident if you chuck him into a wall like you did jaspers that one time
♊︎: FIINE, II'LL GIIVE HIIM A LIIGHT SPANK WIITH MΨ PSIISONIICS.
♊︎: BET IIT'S NOTHING WORSE THAN WHAT MΨ DESCEDENT WOULD'VE DONE AT SOME POIINT IIF HE'S ANΨTHIING LIIKE ME.
♊︎: VANTAS ASS CAN TAKE IIT, IIF THERE'S ONE THIING A VANTAS HAS IIT'S THAT THEΨ CAN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HAVE A GREAT ASS.
GG: pfffft!
GG: ill have to ask dave and rose to verify that :p
♊︎: BUT FOR REAL, ΨOU JUST GOT DUMPED LIIKE THAT HUH? AND ΨOUR HATCHMATE/BROTHER/MOIIRAIIL DECIIDED TO TAKE A DIIRT NAP IINSTEAD OF COMFORT ΨOU?
GG: a dirt nap is when youre dead
♊︎: IIS HE DEAD?
GG: no
GG: wait ill check
GG: hes fine!
GG: just sorta twitching in his sleep and snuffling like how bec used to <3
♊︎: MAΨBE HE'S FROLIICKIING WIITH SOME DEAD PEOPLE.
GG: you could try it, maybe?
GG: if you want to have a snooze without taking the heavy duty sleeping draught
GG: honestly that one time i snuck a gulp i slept for a week!
♊︎: II DOUBT II CAN EVEN ENTER THE DREAMBUBBLES.
♊︎: WHAT WOULD II DO THERE ANΨWAΨ?
♊︎: SEE A BUNCH OF DEAD WIIGGLERS AND BE ASKED THE SAME THIING OVER AND OVER ABOUT WHΨ II'M NOT FUCKIING DEAD?
GG: you might see your friends :(
♊︎: NO, II WON'T.
♊︎: II JUST KNOW THAT MUCH.
♊︎: MAΨBE IIT'S GOT TO DO WIITH WHAT THAT BIIG SPIIKEΨ LIIZARD LADΨ SAIID, ABOUT MΨ CLASS FROM A DIIFFERENT UNIIVERSE. BUT THEΨ DON'T HAVE GHOST SELVES SO II SEE NO REASON IIN DREAMIING OF DEAD PEOPLE II DON'T CARE ABOUT.
GG: echidna is always right about that stuff!!
GG: like when she reminded me of when i saw the last frog needed for the gene sequence
GG: her choices are about facing mortality
GG: thats why she gave you the choice to either stay or go and im so happy you decided to stay with us <3
GG: and at least she waited until we visited her before falling asleep like the other denziens so you could ask her stuff
♊︎: HEIIR OF DOOM, WHAT A SHIIT TIITLE.
♊︎: WHAT THE FUCK AM II SUPPOSED TO DO, JUST SUFFER NO MATTER WHAT?
♊︎: THIIS GAME IIS SHIIT AND II HATE IIT AND II WASN'T EVEN THE CAPTOR STUCK PLAΨIING IIT.
GG: well at least we got two heirs!
GG: i think heirs are protected or defended through their aspect like how john can turn himself into air and i cant smell him anymore
GG: and while it was horrible what happened to you the way the trolls were doomed with that glub also saved you
GG: and now youre here to make sure the next session isnt doomed and neither are we! :D
GG: so im pretty happy weve got two heirs
GG: i dont know what your outfit wouldve looked like though
GG: i think johns big windsock hoddie is because hes a breath player so i think the outfits change a little bit depending on the aspect!
GG: not sure what colour doom would be :/
♊︎: MEH II CAN MAKE A PIICTURE OF THE HELMSBLOCK, THAT'S WHAT A DOOMED EXIISTANCE LOOKED LIIKE TO ME.
♊︎: ALL THAT DIISGUSTIING FUCKIING PIINK AND THAT UGLΨ FIINNED BIITCH IIN MΨ FACE. CAN'T EVEN THIINK FOR ΨOURSELF, IINSTEAD JUST KNOWIING ΨOUR DOIING SHIIT NOT OF ΨOUR OWN WIILL BUT HELPLESS TO STOP IIT. TRAPPED IINSIIDE ΨOUR OWN MIIND, JAIILED BΨ ΨOUR OWN THOUGHTS THAT ARE CONTROLLED BΨ SOMEONE ELSE.
♊︎: II MANAGED TO SPIIT IIN HER FACE A COUPLE OF TIIMES, ONCE EVEN DURIING A LIIVESREAM. ESPECIIALLΨ SIINCE SHE COUDN'T DO SHIIT. LIIKE WHAT WAS SHE GONNA DO, ENSLAVE ME HARDER? ANΨWAΨ THAT WAS FUCKIING FUNNΨ.
♊︎: ESPECIIALLΨ WHEN THE GLUB HAPPENED AND II WAS CHOKIING TO DEATH, SHE KEPT CRΨIING AND DEMANDIING II DON'T LEAVE HER AS EVERΨONE EVERΨWHERE DIIED.
♊︎: II JUST LAUGHED AND SPAT IIN HER EΨE, STUPIID FUCKIING WHORE THAT SHE WAS.
♊︎: FUCK IIT HURT SO MUCH TO EVEN MOVE AND THIINK WHEN ALL ΨOUR BODIILΨ FLUIIDS ARE BEIING SHOVED OUT OF EVERΨ DAMN ORIIFIICE BUT IIT WAS THE FIIRST TIIME IIN TENS OF THOUSANDS OF SWEEPS II COULD EVEN MOVE OF MΨ OWN FREE WIILL AND SHE CRIIED WIITH MΨ BLOODΨ SPIIT IIN HER EΨE AND THAT WAS THE LAST THIING II SAW BEFORE FIINALLΨ DΨIING AND IIT WAS SO FUCKIING HIILARIIOUS.
♊︎: BIITCH THOUGHT SHE WAS SO FUCKIING SMART AND UNTOUCHABLE BUT IIN THE END SHE WAS JUST SOME CRΨIING FUCKWIIT THAT NOBODΨ GAVE A SHIIT ABOUT.
♊︎: SHE WAS TRAPPED ALONE TO BE EMPRESS OF NOTHIING BECAUSE OF HER SHIITTΨ LUSUS WHIICH GAVE HER POWER IIN THE FIIRST PLACE PACKED A BIITCH AND SCREAMED LOL
♊︎: FUCK HER, HOPE HER BONES ARE STIILL ROTTIING IIN THAT SHIITHOLE SHIIP IIN THE SCRAPS OF OUR UNIIVERSE SURROUNDED BΨ THE REST OF THAT MAGGOT IINFESTED EMPIIRE.
GG: :(
♊︎: II'M NOT SORRΨ.
GG: i dont expect you to be!!
GG: she sounds so awful im glad shes dead
GG: it just upsets me when you get so angry and hateful :(
GG: even when john was yelling he was just being, i dont know, bratty??
GG: but with you its just so much
GG: youre my friend and i dont like seeing you be so angry and full of pain
♊︎: ΨOU REALLΨ EXPECT ME TO JUST 'GET OVER' ALL THAT SHIIT?
GG: i would like you to try maybe!
GG: just because so much is shit doesnt mean everything is!
GG: do you think kankri and meulin and rosa would want you being like this?
♊︎: BE CAREFUL.
GG: no!
GG: i already dealt with one tantrum today, im not putting up with a second!
GG: this birthday is so shit
GG: i mean technically its johns but he had a shit time as well :(
GG: now im just sitting here all by myself like a loser watching con air
GG: which yeah its a sorta shitty movie but who the fuck cares!!
GG: sometimes you just need to watch dumb shit and turn your brain off for a while
GG: even if davesprite decided to dump me and john went off in a rage because of his shitty prank :(
♊︎: SO II'M THE LAST RESORT HUH? THE LATE STAGE BOOTΨ CALL.
GG: oh fuck off you messaged me!
♊︎: >:P
GG: woof!
GG: youre a dick hehehe
♊︎: HEΨ ΨOU FIIT FIIESTΨ BETTER THAN MOPEΨ.
♊︎: BUT FIINE, II GUESS II CAN TAKE MΨ MUSHROOM PIIES OVER TO ΨOUR HIIVE AND WE CAN WATCH THAT SHIIT MOVIIE.
♊︎: AND THEN WE CAN TELEKENTIICALLΨ THROW CAKE AT EACH OTHER, GOTTA DO SOMETHIING WIITH THAT FUCKIING HORDE OF BAKED GOODS GRANNΨ HUMAN KEEPS TRΨIING TO JAM DOWN OUR PROTEIIN CHUTES.
GG: :D
GG: okay!
GG: ill snap over a fresh cake and rewind the movie to the start!
♊︎: SPEAKIING OF WHIICH WTF IIS THIIS MOVIIE EVEN ABOUT BESIIDES HAVIING BUFF HAIIRΨ HUMSN MEN ΨOUR HATCHMATE APPRECIIATES BUT IIS IIN DENIIAL OVER?
GG: haha youll have to come see!
GG: see you soon :D
♊︎: ΨEAH ΨEAH.

ectoBiologist [EB] has opened the memo JACK NOIR; THE ROAD TO VICTORY

EB: okay so guys we're just gonna ignore anything that may or may not have happened during a previous movie party.
EB: that includes any bad jokes, break ups or tantrums in the driveway that resulted in perhap someone falling unconcious.
EB: instead this is about jack noir!
EB: during my nap i got into a dreambubble and fought him as he passed through from the furtherest ring so it seems the reckoning didn't kill him.
EB: and i'm pretty sure even if there is that other big bad lord english we still have to deal with jack since he's got the magical bec ring on.

Mituna [♊︎] has responded to the memo!

♊︎: OH RIIGHT THOSE DUMB CHESS CREATURES.
♊︎: ARE THEΨ ANΨ HARDER TO KIILL THAN IIMPS AND OGRES AND SHIIT?
EB: no but jack is prototyped with all the objects we used in our kernalsprites.
EB: so he's as strong as a first guardian.
EB: but when i fought him in the dreambubble there was another jack.
EB: a white one? and i think she was a lady, i dunno.
EB: she seemed pissed and was chasing him through the furtherest ring towards the next session.
EB: so thats another one of the news!
EB: pretty sure she'll help us in the fight against jack.
♊︎: WHΨ ARE WE KIILLIING HIIM AGAIIN?
♊︎: II MEAN BESIIDES GOOD OLD FASHIIONED REVENGE, WHIICH II APPROVE OF MIIND ΨOU.

gardenGnostic [GG] has responded to the memo!

GG: because we have to destroy the two rings, silly!
GG: karkat said the trolls destroyed both of the queens rings by throwing them in the forge on kanayas planet
GG: that ties in with how our sessions got so messed up, with the reckoning happening way too fast
GG: well need to destroy both rings to finally finish the game!
GG: since it would be dumb to try and hatch the genesis frog with jack still around since he killed the last one
GG: and we need to toss both rings into the volcano to launch the tadpole echidna is guarding
EB: we know he won't attack jade so i'm thinking we can use that to our advantage, like a shield so the white lady jack can kill him?
GG: when we enter the next session well be back in the influence of the green sun so theyll be able to teleport again
EB: which is why we'll need you to take the lead!
GG: but jack cant hunt you by scent since you can turn into air
EB: true so if you keep teleporting him back to where we are i bet we can defeat him in no time, he won't be able to smell me so i can ambush him while you guys take him head on.
EB: especially with you mituna!
♊︎: ΨEAH? WHAT DIID II DO.
EB: well your psionics are strong enough to stop jade from moving around so you probably can just grab jack and keep him in place while we get the ring off him.
GG: were both leveled enough we dont have strife specibus anymore so i guess i can learn some sword kind???
GG: would be a lot easier to cut off his arm then :/
GG: hm maybe i can alchemize a gun that shoots swords???
EB: THAT'S THE STUPIIDEST FUCKIING THIING II'VE EVER HEARD.
EB: ΨOU SHOULD TRΨ IIT :p
EB: i think we should just stick to normal weapons!
EB: a gun firing swords seems like it would have pretty shit aim actually.
EB: especially since dave sprite is still being an asshole so we can rely on him for anything.
GG: hes still around!!!
GG: hes just avoiding us :(
EB: for how long?
EB: we've nearly reached this next session!
EB: we can't just flail about like noobs anymore, we did that originally and everything was messed up.
EB: even if he is having an identiy crisis he could at least pull his head out of his feathery ass long enough to help.
EB: i swear original dave was never this much of a douchebag.
♊︎: AND HOW THE FUCK WOULD ΨOU KNOW?
♊︎: ΨOU HAVEN'T SEEN DAVE FOR ALMOST THREE HUMAN ΨEARS, HOW DO ΨOU EVEN KNOW HE DOESN'T ACT LIIKE DAVESPRIITE HUH?
♊︎: ALMOST LIIKE ΨOU'RE MAKIING UP SHIIT 'CAUSE ΨOU DON'T WANT TO ENTERTAIIN THE POSSIIBIILIITΨ ΨOUR BESTIIE IIS A COWARDLΨ SHIITHEAD WHO RUNS AWAΨ FROM CONFRONTATIION AND ANΨ HARD CONVERSATIION LIIKE OLD FEATHERΨ DAVIIE DOES.
GG: guys this isnt helping!
GG: im just saying maybe davesprite would want to help since he was there when jack killed his brother!
GG: maybe he wants revenge and closure as well?
GG: or he can give us pointers on how jack fights so we can defeat him quicker
GG: because if we die against him i think it will be heroic
EB: WE will but he won't go after you.
♊︎: II CAN HANDLE MΨSELF, WIILL TAKE MORE THAN SOME DUMBFUCK GAME CHARACTER TO KIILL ME NOW.
♊︎: AND ALL ELSE FAIILS II CAN GRAB HIIM WIITH MΨ ΨCHIICS AND JUST SHRED HIIS ARM TO PIIECES UNTIIL THE RIING COMES OFF THAT WAΨ IIF WE CAN'T CHOP OFF HIIS PAW OR ΨANK IIT OFF.
EB: we have to make sure to toss it into the forge on jade's land once we get the rings.
EB: though...the lady jack didn't say anything but maybe if we ask her nicely she'll just give us her queen's ring?
GG: if shes a prospitian shes probably after jack because he killed everyone
GG: and if she helps us beat him then shell have no need for any more revenge!
GG: so i think john is right! i bet if we ask her shell hand it over once jack is defeated :)
GG: thatll keep the tadpole safe, since the next session wont have those rings and no red miles!!
GG: theres still that lord english demony guy though
EB: hes just blowing up ghosts so i think we can focus on stuff in the session first before worrying about him.
♊︎: WHΨ THE FUCK IIS HE KIILLIING GHOSTS?
♊︎: EVEN IIF TECHNIICALLΨ THESE DOOMED THIINGS AREN'T GHOSTS, THEΨ'RE LIIKE SAVEPOIINTS AND DEATH SPOTS OF GAME CHARACTERS.
♊︎: THIIS GUΨ SOUNDS LIIKE A COMPLETE MORON. A FUCKIING WIIGGLER THROWIING A TANTRUM.
EB: yeah does seem like that.
EB: apparently he's after the ghost of his sister or some shit? so he's just attacking everyone else until he finds her.
EB: that's what vriska said anyway.
♊︎: THE CERULEAN.
EB: that's her.
♊︎: WHIICH MEANS WE CAN'T TRUST WHATEVER SHIIT VOMIITS OUT OF HER PROTEIIN CHUTE.
♊︎: SIINCE SHE'S JUST A LΨIING WHORE LIIKE THE REST OF THE HIIGHBLOODS.
GG: would you stop being so dramatic?
GG: shoosh :/
♊︎: WHATEVER, II'M RIIGHT. DON'T BELIIEVE A FUCKIING THIING SHE SAΨS. BEIING DEAD WON'T STOP HIIGHBLOODS FROM BEIING HIIGHBLOODS, JUST ΨOU WAIIT AND SEE.
♊︎: ΨOU'LL S3333
GG: heir of doomy doom feelings?
♊︎: MORE LIIKE EONS OF EXPERIIENCE WHERE HIIGHBLOODS ARE CONSIISTANTLΨ PIIECES OF SHIIT.
EB: guys can we move on?
EB: this isn't a 'lets rag vriska' memo.
EB: even if i apparently dated her?
EB: one of my doomed selves anyway, which is kinda weird to think about.
♊︎: OH ΨEAH?
♊︎: ΨOU GET ANΨ BULGE?
GG: mituna!!! :O
GG: you just cant ask that!!
♊︎: HEΨ, HOW LAME WOULD IIT BE DΨIING WIITHOUT FIILLIING A PAIIL?
♊︎: IIF DEAD ΨOU CAN GET SOME ASS THEN II BET ALIIVE ΨOU CAN AS WELL.
♊︎: MAΨBE SOME SEXΨ GHOSTS OUT THERE, WHO THE FUCK KNOWS. NOT ME.
♊︎: JUST GET SOME BETTER TASTE, HOLΨ SHIIT.
EB: alright, note to self never talk about this kind of shit again.
EB: we're talking about killing jack noir.
EB: you know, the asshole who murdered my dad? and rose's mum? and me? and rose? and the whole fucking universe?
♊︎: SEE. THIIS IIS WHAT NOT GETTIING ANΨ ASS LOOKS LIIKE.
♊︎: COMPLETE BIITCHIINESS. II'M SPEAKIING FROM EXPERIIENCE HERE.
GG: pffft!
EB: okay you guys suck, i'm leaving.
GG: oh come on john were just teasing!

ectoBiologist [EB] has left the memo!

GG: whoops :(
♊︎: HEΨ GUESS THAT MEANS WE CAN START WIITH THIIS STRIIFE PRACTIICE THEN, BEFORE WE GOTTA PUT DOWN THAT BARKBEAST.
GG: oh yeah?
♊︎: HOW'S ΨOUR AMBUSHIING SKIILLS?
GG: :D

turntechGodhead [TG] has started pestering Mituna [♊︎]

TG: so whats with you guys and the buckets
♊︎: DANG STRIIDER AT LEAST BUΨ ME DIINNER FIIRST.
♊︎: WHAT KIIND OF TROLL DO ΨOU THIINK II AM?
♊︎: THAT II PUT OUT AT THE SLIIGHTEST PROVACATIION?
♊︎: FOR SHAME.
TG: yeah yeah lap it up
TG: but for real you guys act as if buckets are some kinky shit dont try and deny it
TG: this is some cross species drama well have to nip in the bud or john really is gonna get some hatemacking on since he threw that bucket right in karkats face
TG: like are they troll married or something
TG: is that how you guys do it
TG: getting that heart pumping by throwing cleaning products at each other to show youre down to do the nasty
♊︎: II HAVE NO IIDEA WHΨ ΨOU'RE GOIING DOWN THAT LIINE WHEN ΨOU PROVED TO BE WIILDLΨ IINCOMPETENT AT ROMANCE.
♊︎: WHIILE TRΨIING TO SAΨ TROLL AND HUMAN ROMANCE IISN'T THE SAME AS IIF JADE DIIDN'T GIIVE ΨOU PIITΨ DATES SIINCE ΨOU'RE SUCH A CLASSLESS LOSER. II DON'T SEE ANΨ OTHER REASON WHΨ, ΨOU'RE THE LAMEST OUT OF ALL THE HUMANS.
♊︎: AND II'M IINCLUDIING ALL DAVES IIN THAT GROUP. ΨOU AND THAT DUMBFUCK ON THE METEOR.
TG: goddamn easy on the hate train
TG: here i was just trying to understand alien kinks then you start spading at me
♊︎: PFFFT AS IIF ΨOU COULD EVER BE MΨ RIIVAL.
♊︎: BUT FOR ΨOUR IINFORMATIION II'D BET HALF OF THE TROLLS FREAKIING OUT OVER THE BUCKETS IIS BECAUSE THEΨ'RE ΨOUNG AND IIT'S ALL TO DO WIITH REPRODUCTIION.
TG: so what you start drumming it to get in the mood is that what gets you all going
TG: even if im not down with troll romance and im not open minded to getting all multi cultural
♊︎: CONSIIDERIING HOW BADLΨ ΨOU FUCKING FAIILED WIITH HUMAN ROMANCE II CAN SEE WHΨ TROLL SHIIT MAKES ΨOUR THIINKSPONGE EXPLODE.
♊︎: ΨOU'RE LAME AND NOT EVEN IIN A PIITABLE WAΨ.
♊︎: II MEAN JOHN SORTA IIS AND JADE IIS OKAΨ.
TG: yeah yeah jade is your favourite we all know that
♊︎: SIINCE SHE'S THE ONLΨ ONE WHO IISN'T A TOTAL DOOR KNOB.
TG: did you just call me a door knob
♊︎: WANT ME TO CALL ΨOU SOMETHIING ELSE?
♊︎: BECAUSE II HAVE A LOT OF IINSULTS II CAN CALL ΨOU AND MOST OF THEM DIIG RIIGHT AT ΨOUR BIITCHΨ IINSECURIITIIES.
♊︎: WE CAN DO THE BASIICS LIIKE 'FAKE DAVE WHO'S GONNA TURN IINTO NOTHIING WHEN THE GAME ENDS CAUSE HE'S A DOOMED LOSER'.
♊︎: OR 'FUCKWIIT WHO MANAGED TO MAKE HIIS FRIIENDS HATE HIIM 'CAUSE OF HIS OWN SELF LOATHIING'.
♊︎: OR 'MORON WHO IIS STUCK AS A BIIRD AND LEFT HIIS HATCHMATE TO WIITHER TO NOTHIING IIN A DOOMED TIIMELIINE FOR A BESTIIE WHO DOESN'T GIIVE A FUCK'?
♊︎: OR MAΨBE EVEN 'CAN'T WRIITE SLAM POETRΨ FOR SHIIT' IIF WE'RE GOIING BACK TO BASIICS.
TG: door knob is cool
♊︎: GOOD.
♊︎: SO, ORANGE DOOR KNOB.
♊︎: BUCKETS ARE JUST A MEANS TO DELIIVER GENETIIC MATERIIAL TO THE MOTHER GRUB, SIINCE ALTERNIIA EXPLODED THERE'S NO NEED FOR THAT SHIIT ANΨMORE.
♊︎: THAT KARKAT NEEDS TO GET THE FUCK OVER HIIMSELF IIF HE'S NOT DEAD ALREADΨ.
♊︎: DRONES WOULD COME DEMANDIING THE MATERIIAL FOR THE MOTHER GRUB.
♊︎: THEΨ WOULD DO THAT UPON CONSCRIIPTIION, TWO BUCKETS. ONE FOR EACH CONCUPIISCENT QUADRANT.
♊︎: FAIILURE TO COMPLΨ WOULD RESULT IIN BEIING CULLED.
♊︎: THEΨ'RE ALSO USED TO KIILL OFF THE CRIIPPLED AND IINFIIRM, TAKIING THE DEAD TROLLS BACK TO THE BROODIING CAVERNS FOR THE MOTHER GRUBS TO EAT.
♊︎: BUT ΨEAH THE BUCKET THIING IIS JUST FOR THE GENETIIC MATERIIAL.
♊︎: FIILL IIT UP WIITH ΨOUR PARTNER, SEAL THE LIID AND GIIVE IIT TO THE DRONE.
♊︎: BUT SIINCE IIT IINVOLVES SEX THAT'S WHΨ ΨALL FREAKIING OUT.
TG: wait
TG: are you telling me
TG: trolls have literal cum buckets
♊︎: LOL
TG: that is some sicknasty shit
TG: why are trolls always nasty
♊︎: CAUSE OUR RACE IIS SHIIT, II DUNNO WHΨ ΨOU HUMANS REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND THAT.
TG: yeah but here youre saying john basically beaned karkat in the face with a dildo or open pack of condoms
♊︎: CAN ΨOU GUΨS EVEN BREED AS GODS?
TG: why you gotta be saying it like that making it weird dude
♊︎: ΨOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED ASKIING ME ABOUT BUCKETS.
♊︎: SIINCE ΨOU ALREADΨ KNEW THEΨ WERE SOME KIINK THIING BUT BRIISTLIING ΨOUR FEATHERS UP AT ME.
♊︎: OOOOOOR IIS THAT JUST ΨOUR USUAL 'II'M GONNA BE AN ANNOΨIING ASS AND THIINK THAT'S A PERSONALIITΨ' TRAIIT AGAIIN?
TG: seriously
TG: youre telling me im an annoying ass
♊︎: AT LEAST II ADMIIT II'M A SHIITTΨ, UNFRIIENDLΨ PERSON.
♊︎: ΨOU REALLΨ THIINK BURNING DOWN ΨOUR RELATIIONSHIIP WIITH JADE AND JOHN MEANS ΨOU'RE PROTECTIING THEM FROM THE PAIIN WHEN THE GAME ERASES ΨOU?
TG: hey lets go back to talking about nasty troll sex
TG: whats up with bulges and nooks how does that shit work
TG: is it gonna be like call of cthulhu downstairs or are we talking fanged
TG: cause if that first one is the case im betting rose got herself some hot alien paramour like hell shell resist the allure of tentacles and all their glory
♊︎: ΨOU'RE SO FUCKIING TRANSPARENT AND IIT'S RATHER SAD NGL
♊︎: ΨOU CAN'T DIISTRACT ME WIITH DIIRTΨ TALK AND CAN'T STOP ME FROM NOTIING ΨOUR CHRONIIC SELF LOATHIING IISSUES.
♊︎: SO BENT OUT OF SHAPE ABOUT THIIS 'BLUH BLUH II'M NOT THE REAL DAVE, LEAVE ME ALONE WHIILE II SELF DESTRUCT MΨ FRIIENDSHIIPS AND RUN AWAΨ LIIKE A LOSER' CRAP.
♊︎: LIIKE WHAT THE FUCK IIS ΨOUR PROBLEM?
♊︎: ΨOU REALLΨ THIINKIING HAVIING JADE AND JOHN HATE ΨOU IIN THE END IIS GOIING TO MAKEΨOU DΨIING ANΨ EASIIER?
♊︎: OR MAKE THEM ACCEPT THE 'REAL DAVE' QUIICKER?
TG: how about you piss off with psychoanalyzing shit like a shoddy discount rose
♊︎: ΨOU PESTERED ME, FUCKWIIT.
TG: oh right
TG: ill fix that for you

turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering Mituna [♊︎]

♊︎: THAT DOESN'T WORK ON ME, MORON.
TG: oh piss off

turntechGodhead [TG] has gone offline

♊︎: ΨOUR CHAT CLIIENT IIS BUIILT IINTO ΨOUR SUNGLASSES, DUMBASS.
♊︎: II CAN STIILL SEE ΨOU.
TG: did you seriously just hack my ishades
TG: what the hell bro
TG: this is crossing the line
TG: where is the cool shades group solidarity at
TG: even if yours are like goggles from a ski mask or something
TG: youre violating the cool shades brotherhood right now
♊︎: THAT BROTHERHOOD CAN KIISS MΨ FAT GOLDBLOOD ASS.
♊︎: AND ΨOU LOT DON'T EVEN HAVE A DECENT FIIREWALL ON THIIS PESTERCHUM SHIIT SO II'M TAKIING THAT IINVIITATIION.
♊︎: ΨOU'RE NOT RUNNIING AWAΨ FROM THIIS.
♊︎: RUIINIING ΨOUR RELATIIONSHIIPS BECAUSE ΨOU'RE A COWARD AND A MORON.
♊︎: TRΨIING TO ACT AS IIF ΨOU'RE THE ONLΨ ONE WIITH A SHIITTΨ EXIISTANCE AS IIF II'M NOT HANGIING AROUND.
♊︎: AND IIF ΨOU JUST WANNA GO SPRIITE THEN WHΨ IISN'T NANNA A SAD BITCH LIIKE ΨOU?
TG: here you go using the dog insults
TG: considering your bestie is part dog i would pump the breaks on that kind of language young man
♊︎: OH WHAT A SHOCK, TRΨIING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
♊︎: THIIS IIS SO LAME, ΨOU'RE SO LAME.
♊︎: WHAT EVEN IIS ΨOUR IINTENT, HUH?
♊︎: JUST RUN AWAΨ WHEN ΨOU REACH THE NEXT SESSIION?
TG: and whats your plan then genius
TG: youve made it pretty obvious youre sticking around and for what
TG: you might be the heir of doom but what do you think this broken session were crashing into is gonna do with a random bonus player
♊︎: IIT'S NOT THAT HARD TO JUST SAΨ 'II DUNNO', DOOR KNOB.
♊︎: BUT THE FACT IIS ACTUALLΨ BEIING ABLE TO WALK AND TALK IIS STIILL A NOVELTΨ TO ME.
♊︎: AND II'M A NOSΨ BIITCH BΨ NATURE SO MAΨBE II WANNA SEE HOW A GAME THAT CREATES A GIIANT MAGIICAL FROG FUNCTIIONS.
♊︎: MAΨBE II WANNA SEE THAT VAST CROAK BEFORE II DIIE AND GO TO OBLIIVIION.
♊︎: MAΨBE IIT'S AS SIIMPLE AS THAT.
TG: what so you wanna hang out at the dream bubbles
♊︎: WE ALL KNOW THAT DOESN'T WORK.
♊︎: LIIKE HOW THERE IIS NO NANNA'S OR JOHN'S DAD OR ΨOUR BRO-LUSUS IIN THOSE BUBBLES.
♊︎: THAT SHIIT IIS FOR ACTIIVE PLAΨERS ONLΨ.
♊︎: EVERΨONE ELSE IS JUST A SHIITTΨ NPC MADE UP OF CRAPPΨ MEMORIIES THAT WARP AT THE DROP OF A BUCKET.
♊︎: AND ALL THE GHOSTS STUCK IIN THERE ARE PAN CRACKED ANΨWAΨ.
♊︎: WHΨ THE FUCK WOULD II WANNA TALK TO THEM?
♊︎: ΨOU HUMANS ARE THE ONES UP EVERΨONES ASS ABOUT ANΨTHIING AND EVERΨTHIING.
TG: well yeah but thats the harleybert clan
TG: theyre just friendly people
TG: like john is a dofus and easy to talk to
TG: and jade is nice and likes being friends with people
TG: thats just how they are
♊︎: OKAΨ SO BASED ON THAT ΨOU'RE SOME LOSER WIITH SHIIT SELF ESTEEM.
♊︎: THIINK II'LL BE ABLE TO MAKE ALPHA DAVE CRΨ IIN FIIVE MIINUTES WHEN WE FIIRST MEET?
TG: hey man dont do that
♊︎: WHΨ? IIT'S NOT LIIKE ΨOU CARE.
♊︎: SIINCE ΨOU DECIIDED TO BLOW UP ΨOUR RELATIIONSHIIP WIITH THOSE TWO AND THEN SOLIICIIT ME.
♊︎: SO OBVIIOUSLΨ ΨOU'RE JUST GOIING GLOBES TO THE WALL DESTRUCTIIVE.
♊︎: SO WHΨ DON'T II FOLLOW ΨOUR LEAD AND FUCK UP THE ALPHA DAVE, HUH?
♊︎: SIINCE DAVE IIS CLEARLΨ AN IINSECURE LOSER.
TG: get the fuck out of my shades
♊︎: NO.
♊︎: SIINCE IIT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLΨ TIIME ΨOUR USELESS SELF IIS AROUND ANΨMORE SIINCE ΨOU RUN AWAΨ OTHERWIISE.
TG: maybe i dont want to talk to the grumpy old alien who spends most of his time insulting everyone and throwing shit at walls
TG: youre really living up with the grouchy old coot sterotype
TG: next thing ill know youll start yelling at me for being on your lawn and whacking me with a cane
♊︎: II DON'T NEED A CANE TO BEAT THE SHIIT OUT OF ΨOU.
TG: yeah yeah the alien mind powers they have some real sick beats
♊︎: CAN ΨOU NOT RAP AGAIIN, ΨOU'LL JUST EMBARASS ΨOURSELF.
♊︎: THIIS IIS SO LAME. ΨOU'RE SO LAME.
♊︎: ACTIING JUST BECAUSE ΨOU'RE A SPRIITE IITS THE WORST THIING THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED.
♊︎: AS IIF ΨOU HAVE ANΨ IIDEA WHAT THE FUCK SUFFERIING IIS.
♊︎: 'OOOOH MΨ FRIIENDS DIIED!!! BOOHOO!!!'
♊︎: NEWS FLASH, FUCKSTIICK. ΨOU WERE ABLE TO JUST EASIILΨ JUMP BACK TO A TIIMELIINE WHERE THEΨ WEREN'T FUCKIING DEAD SO HOW ABOUT ΨOU SHUT ΨOUR FUCKIING MOUTH ABOUT THAT WANGST?
♊︎: OR ARE ΨOU STIILL THIINKIING OF THE ROSE ΨOU LEFT BEHIIND, EH?
♊︎: SHE TOLD ΨOU THAT, DIIDN'T SHE?
♊︎: THAT SHE DIIDN'T KNOW IIF SHE'D STOP EXIISTIING OR BEIING LEFT ALL ALONE WHEN ΨOU TIIME TRAVELLED.
♊︎: SO IIS THAT PART OF IIT?
♊︎: ΨOU ALREADΨ LEFT ROSE SO NOW ΨOU MOVED ON TO ABANDONIING JADE AND JOHN?
TG: how about you shut the fuck up about shit you dont know about
TG: here i was just wanting to know how aliens did the dirty for the good of science and then you start ripping up my ass about everything
TG: dont you have anything else to do but go through everyones shit and read their pesterlogs
♊︎: II'VE READ ALL OF THEM, MORON.
♊︎: EVEN THE REAL USELESS SHIIT LIIKE ΨOUR BIITCHIING AND MOANIING.
TG: thought it was only the troll stuff huh
♊︎: ΨOU GUΨS GAVE ME UNSUPERVIISED ACCESS TO ΨOUR COMPUTERS.
♊︎: DIID ΨOU REALLΨ THIINK II'D LET MΨSELF BE TRAPPED ON THIIS SHIIP FOR SWEEPS WIITH A BUNCH OF STRANGERS WIITHOUT CHECKIING ΨOU WEREN'T HIIVESHIIT?
♊︎: WHΨ ELSE DO ΨOU THIINK ΨOU'RE ALL ALIIVE?
♊︎: II'VE BEEN BURNED WAΨ TOO MANΨ TIIMES TO TAKE CHANCES, REGARDLESS OF HOW FRIIENDLΨ ΨOU ALL TRIIED TO ACT.
♊︎: EVEN IIF AT THIIS POIINT II SORTA WIISH ΨOU WERE A SHIITHEAD, MIIGHT BE PREFERABLE TO ΨOUR 'WAHHH DOOMED ANGST' CRAP.
TG: how can you made a speech like that and still somehow act as if youre the mature one
♊︎: WHEN THE FUCK HAVE II EVER CLAIIMED TO BE THE MATURE ONE?
TG: touché
♊︎: GO TOUCH ΨOURSELF TO IIMAGES OF BUCKETS LATER II DON'T FUCKIING CARE. BUT DO ΨOU SERIIOUSLΨ WANT JOHN AND JADE'S FIINAL IIMPRESSIION OF ΨOU TO BE AN UNCARIING PIIECE OF SHIIT WHO HURT THEM?
♊︎: JUST BECAUSE ΨOU DECIIDED ΨOU HAD TO BELATELΨ PUNIISH ΨOURSELF?
♊︎: WHΨ THE FUCK ARE ΨOU TAKIING IIT OUT ON THEM, THE AMOUNT OF FEELIING JAMS JADE HAS HAD OVER IIT IIS GIIVIING ME A HEADACHE.
TG: look troll-woo jade all you want but leave me out of it
TG: if she wants to move on she can
TG: i admit i handled things like shit with her
TG: real dave would treat her better but if she wants to go tall dark and horny then she can
TG: i did her a favour cutting bird dave out of her life
TG: nobody really deserves bird dave as a boyfriend or a friend or anything its like getting one of the janky daves from the bargain bin at the dave depot
TG: or one of the marked down daves the day after national dave day
TG: or when your goldfish dies and the parents are like 'oh shit little jimmy will be devastated lets get him a new one' and they smuggle it in but then it turns out it looks like nothing like the original mister bubbles and swims sideways like a dumbass and the kid cries cause he got a bootleg replacement
TG: ill just flap off somewhere and do my thing when we get through that wall
♊︎: URGH.
TG: groan all you want its true
TG: youre right that im just blowing things up but thats because they do deserve better than me
TG: my john ran off and died because some shitty leetspeaking alien convinced him to go take on a boss when he was still a total noob
TG: and last we heard of jade was when a giant flaming rock was about to pancake her house
TG: and i left my rose behind
TG: so yeah me burning those bridges is gonna lite the way for actual dave and jade and john can get their friendships back on track rather than being stuck with discount feathery dave
♊︎: WAΨ TO MIISS MΨ POIINT, ΨOU STUPIID FUCK.
♊︎: ΨOUR WHOLE SESSIION IIS DESTROΨED TO THE POIINT ΨOU HAD TO HOP ON OVER TO ANOTHER UNIIVERSE.
♊︎: AND THE TWO SESSIIONS BEFORE THAT WERE SHIIT AS WELL.
♊︎: WELL EXCEPT THAT FIIRST ONE BUT FROM WHAT JOHN SAIID THE TROLLS THERE WERE COMPLETE SHIIT AND RUIINED EVERΨTHIING.
♊︎: THEΨ BETTER HOPE GHOSTS CAN'T FEEL PAIIN BECAUSE IIF II CATCH ANΨ OF THOSE LIITTLE FUCKERS II'M FLAΨIING THEM ALIIVE.
♊︎: BUT MURDEROUS THOUGHTS ASIIDE, THIIS NEXT SESSIION IIS SHIIT AS WELL IISN'T IIT?
♊︎: JADE'S HOPIING TAKIING THE RIINGS AND LAUNCHIING THE TADPOLE WILL MAKE THE GAME END BUT HOW DO WE KNOW?
♊︎: II SURE AS SHIIT DON'T.
♊︎: AND II'M EVEN MORE DOOMED THAN ΨOU, SIINCE II'M NOT EVEN AN ACTIIVE PLAΨER.
♊︎: SO EIITHER SHIIT OR GET OFF THE POT.
TG: this ass aint shitting so guess youll just handle it
TG: i cant handle space oprah in the form of a bitchy yellow alien
TG: because i aint taking what youre dishing
♊︎: FIINE.
♊︎: TIIME FOR HARD KNOCKS IIF ΨOU'RE GONNA BE A STUBBORN LIITTLE MORON.

turntechGodhead [TG]'s computer has exploded!

♊︎: ENJOΨ THE FACIIAL BURNS AND SCORCHED EΨEBALLS, ASSHOLE.

gardenGnostic [GG] has started pestering Mituna [♊︎]

GG: miiiiituna!!!!
GG: ive got a gift for you <3
♊︎: II'VE TOLD ΨOU BEFORE, II DON'T WANT TO FURRΨ ROLEPLAΨ.
♊︎: IIDK MAΨBE TOMORROW.
GG: not that!
♊︎: GONNA CRASH THE STOCKMARKET AGAIIN?
♊︎: WE'VE GOT FUCKIING BOONBUCKS COMIING OUT OF EVERΨWHERE, MΨ OIINKBEAST BANK CAN'T CONTROL IIT. USIING A FEW TO LEVEL MΨ TABLE.
♊︎: EVEN IIF FUCKIING AROUND WIITH THOSE CONSORTS AND THE ALCHEMIITER WAS RATHER ENTERTAIINIING, THOUGH II HAVE NO IIDEA WTF ΨOU WANT TO USE THAT PROTON CANON FOR BESIIDES SHOOT DOWN STARSHIIPS.
GG: well have to do something with all the grist!
GG: and at least now i dont have to wear the iron lass suit to use it with my witchy powers
GG: also i think john is still mad you managed to find a full booncase haha
GG: echidna was right though, that you still are technically a game player!
♊︎: OH IIS THAT THE GIIFT, THE GIIANT SNAKE WOMAN WOKE UP?
GG: noooooo
GG: shes still sleeping but shes moved a bit!
GG: i think she knows were only a few days away from arriving at the next session!!
GG: which has sorta something to do with my gift!
♊︎: LAΨ IIT ON ME.
GG: oh whoops is it not in your room? :(
♊︎: IIF BΨ IIT ΨOU MEAN A VERΨ HEAVIILΨ WRAPPED BOX THEN ΨES, IIT IIS IIN MΨ ROOM.
GG: open it!
♊︎: ...
♊︎: A HEADBAND? OR TIIARA SORTA, WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
GG: not just any headband!
GG: i know its like a super farfetched thing for you to be worried about but just because its sorta silly doesnt mean you should ignore it
GG: its what i was working on when you left, it took me a few tries before i got it right!
♊︎: WELL II SUPPOSE IIT'S NIICE.
GG: your hair has gotten super fluffy since you started to grow it out <3
GG: but it also serves another purpose, not just letting you see!
♊︎: AND WHAT'S THAT?
GG: it should block out any type of outside mental influence or messaging!
♊︎: ...
GG: i know its farfetched, i dont think any of the trolls on the meteor are a threat to you
GG: especially since a bunch of them died from what john said??
GG: including vriska who was the one who could use mind control from what john said when he met her in the bubble
GG: but anyway i guess its like me having so many rifles, a security thing
GG: especially since you mentioned the few times you had a nap by accident with those nightmares :(
♊︎: NANNA CAN SCOLD ALL SHE WANTS, II'M STIILL DRIINKIING THAT KNOCK OUT SHIIT.
GG: oh shell keep scolding you alright :p
GG: but the headband should keep anyone out of your head so youll be nice and secure!
GG: so an extra sense of security <3
♊︎: THANK ΨOU, JADE.
GG: <3 <3
GG: but it should also work for the like of the horrorterrors or exiles or other game overlay messaging systems!
GG: which only really targeted rose but i had one trying to talk to me once
GG: i dont know, the trolls never really told us much about it :/
GG: but i had one sorta try to talk to me before bec got mad but i guess you wont like any of that even if theyre from game constructs so thisll keep them out :)
♊︎: NO, II DON'T.
GG: i also made it yellow with your symbol at the front!
GG: it was hard to get the yellow right
GG: bananas just kept turning it into flesh which was super weird
GG: but i got it right!
GG: even if theres a bunch of offcut headbands in my room since i had so many surplus
GG: i also made some hairbands for rose, some sparkly purple and one that has pink and black flowers!
GG: i also made her and dave a bunch of nice squiddles and wrapped them up all pretty! some nice gifts for when we meet up <3
GG: it sucks the last time i spoke to rose was just before she went grimdark and was killed :(
GG: i hope she and dave are okay on that three years with the trolls and that they had enough to eat, i dont know if godtiers can get scurvy?
GG: at least we had our planets to play about on so we could still experience rain and swimming and running through the sand
GG: though i felt real silly when you mentioned i could just regrow my gardens on roses land!
GG: plants love light and rain
♊︎: HUMANS AREN'T NOCTURNAL SO IIF ΨOUR FRIIENDS AREN'T DEAD THEΨ'RE PROB GONNA BE A BIIT FUCKED UP WIITH THE TROLLS.
GG: i cant believe they killed each other :(
GG: well not all of them but enough!
GG: i cant imagine hurting my friends
♊︎: LIIKE II SAIID, BET ΨOU A MIILLIION CAEGARS IIT WAS THE HIIGHBLOODS WHO WERE KIILLIING THE OTHERS LOL
♊︎: IIT TOTALLΨ WOULD BE.
♊︎: IIF ΨOUR HUMANS FRIIEND WERE SMART THEΨ SHOULD OF KIILLED THE TROLLS.
♊︎: ONES A SEER, RIIGHT?
♊︎: SHE SHOULD KNOW IIT BENEFIITS EVERΨONE IIF THEΨ'RE DEAD.
GG: hey im trying to be nice here!
GG: its rather hard when youre being all murdery again
GG: and be nice when we meet them!
GG: i dont want you punting karkat into a wall
♊︎: MEH HE'S PROBABLΨ BOUNCΨ.
GG: no karkat tossing!
♊︎: II MEAN, II THIINK WE COULD DO IIT- TOSSIING HIIM BETWEEN US LIIKE BALL LOL
♊︎: WIITH MΨ ΨSIIONIICS AND ΨOUR SPACE POWERS.
♊︎: FIIRST ONE TO DROP HIIM LOOSES.
GG: hehehe okay maybe!
GG: <3
GG: but soon ill be able to introduce you to my friends!
GG: including my grandpa and nanna
♊︎: ΨOU NEED TO STOP CALLIING THEM THAT, IIT'S UNFAIIR.
♊︎: WHAT IIF THEΨ COME AT WIITH ΨOU SO MANΨ EXPECTATIIONS FROM THE JADE GUARDIIAN IIN THEIIR SESSIION?
♊︎: ALL THESE ASSUMPTIIONS ΨOU CAN'T BE, SIINCE ΨOU AREN'T THAT PERSON?
♊︎: GENETIICALLΨ, PERHAPS. BUT WIITH NONE OF THE EXPERIIENCE, EVENTS AND SIITUATIIONS.
♊︎: EVEN JUST NOW, CAN ΨOU SAΨ ΨOU'RE THE SAME GIIRL FROM SWEEPS AGO?
♊︎: THE SAME ONE BEFORE ΨOU EVEN PLAΨED THAT GAME?
GG: no, i guess not
♊︎: IIT'S ALSO WHΨ II HAVE NO IINTEREST IIN HUNTIING OUT THOSE PRE-SCRATCH TROLLS ΨOU SWEATΨ LIITTLE MAMMALS TOLD ME ABOUT.
♊︎: THAT WON'T BE MΨ KANKRII, MΨ MEULIIN, MΨ ROSA. EVEN THAT PRE-SCRATCH ME, ALL HE DOES IIS SHARE A GENETIIC CODE.
GG: yeah
GG: i suppose ive just thought of him as my grandpa for so long
GG: even when he was my penpal?
GG: but when i think of him i do think of grandpa even if hes actually my dad genetic wise
GG: and it would be unfair to think of them as the same even if theyre ectoclones
GG: i dont know
GG: last time i saw my grandpa was when he got shot
GG: i know he was taxidermied but i was really young when i did it on my own
GG: so he came out rather wrong
GG: all lumpy and stiff and sorta odd
♊︎: AT LEAST ΨOU GOT THE BASIICS.
GG: i mean
GG: he did ooze a little bit :(
GG: even when i thought i had taken all the blood out
GG: and my needle work was rather bad so he had big stitches and his limbs didnt match up right
GG: but he was done!
GG: it was only due to bec i even got him inside though since i was so little back when it happened
♊︎: RIIGHT, THE LUSUS.
♊︎: IIF IIT WAS MΨ LUSUS II MIIGHT HAVE EATEN IIT.
GG: humans cant eat humans! we an catch a brain disease
♊︎: WHIICH IIS ODD TO ME, BUT HOW ΨOU RETAIIN ΨOUR ANCESTOR IIS UP TO ΨOU.
♊︎: EVEN IIF ΨOU STIILL HAD ΨOUR LUSUS THERE TO PROTECT ΨOU.
GG: but...
GG: can i tell you something? i havent told anyone else since it sounds rather stupid but...
♊︎: SURE, II DON'T CARE HOW STUPIID IIT MIIGHT SOUND.
GG: <3
♊︎: ♢
GG: okay so...
GG: it was right after grandpa died
GG: i was too scared to get him myself :(
GG: now i know tavros did it but at the time i thought that blue haired doll had killed him
GG: and i kept thinking she would kill me if i went out there and got my grandpa
GG: now that im older i know how dumb that is!
GG: but when i was little 'cross dimensional alien controlled my dog into shooting my grandpa' was a stupid theory and never once crossed my mind
♊︎: DIIDN'T THE LUSUS HELP?
GG: bec tried but he was still a dog
GG: a good dog
GG: a best friend
GG: and fused with jadesprite i can feel that still within me
GG: but he couldnt talk
GG: even when i tried to get him to attack the doll he didnt understand
GG: so a week after the incident i set up an ambush
♊︎: FOR THE BLUE DOLL?
GG: yeah
GG: i kept thinking she was going to sneak into the house and kill me just like she did grandpa
GG: so after a week of not being able to sleep and being terrified of her i drew up a plan
GG: i had to kill her before she killed me
GG: and so i did the ambush at night
GG: when a storm had come across the ocean
GG: grandpa had lots of that stuff set up so we could be prepared when a storm swept in, when it would alert us when one was forming
GG: it wasnt a very bad storm all things considered but it was dark and windy and rainy
GG: and i remember covering myself in mud and tangling leaves and sticks in my hair before i made my way down to the table where grandpa still was
GG: bec came with me but he didnt really seem to know what i was doing
GG: i used one of the pistols since the rifles were too big for me to carry
GG: and i remember screaming while i shot her
GG: i kept thinking she would attack me but i kept shooting her even when i ran out of bullets and it went click click click and there was stuffing everywhere
GG: bec was sitting around me the whole time and not really doing anything but i think that was because he was confused about me attacking a doll like that
GG: then he zapped me and grandpa back inside and the doll stayed outside
GG: years later i found her in one of grandpas spare rooms so bec must have brought her back inside
GG: and i realized just how silly i was then
GG: she was just a doll
GG: i stitched her back up and kept her around, almost like to have her as a sign of 'im not scared anymore'
GG: but she was still just some silly bluehaired doll
GG: ...
GG: that was all so stupid wasnt it?
♊︎: THERE'S NOTHIING STUPIID ABOUT BEIING A SCARED WIIGGLER.
♊︎: II WAS SCARED A LOT BACK ON ALTERNIIA, SCARED OF BEIING CAPTURED. SCARED OF BEIING CONTROLLED AND ENSLAVED AGAIIN. SCARED OF THE PEOPLE II CARE ABOUT BEING HURT. BEING KIILLED.
♊︎: WHIICH...IIN MΨ CASE WAS ALL VIINDIICATED, AS EVERΨTHIING II FEARED HAPPENED.
♊︎: BUT THAT STIILL DOESN'T MEAN II DIDN'T HAVE BOUTS OF PARANOIIA AND IIRRATIIONAL FREAK OUTS.
♊︎: FEAR CAN BE UNRESPONABLE AT TIIMES BUT IIT'S NEVER STUPIID.
♊︎: THAT WAS PART OF ΨOUR REASON FOR GIIVIING ME THAT HEADBAND, RIIGHT? AND NOT TO STOP MΨ HAIIR FROM BLIINDIING ME :P
♊︎: DOESN'T MATTER IIF SOME FEARS ARE IIRRATIIONAL, THEΨ'RE STIILL THERE AND WE HAVE TO LIIVE WIITH THEM.
♊︎: AND CONSIIDERIING ALL THE SHIIT ΨOU'VE SEEN, A DOLL ACTUALLΨ BEIING MALIICIIOUS AND KIILLIING PEOPLE IISN'T TOO FARFETCHED IIS IIT?
GG: i guess not
♊︎: AND FROM ΨOUR PERSPECTIIVE THAT IIS WHAT HAPPENED AND ΨOU TOOK STEPS TO PROTECT ΨOURSELF. THAT IIS NEVER STUPIID.
GG: i suppose
GG: i never even told john about her, i feel like he doesnt understand?
GG: his childhood just seemed so...
GG: normal :(
GG: not thats bad or anything!!
GG: i think he doesnt get how i did live on an island on my own for so long
GG: its like how i dont mind being alone for a lot, or how the trip isnt bothering me so much like it does for him
GG: even rose and dave were around other people
GG: but after grandpa i never met another human until sburb
GG: with my dream self i was rather ditzy and forgetful so it really was like a dream
GG: and when i saw dave face to face he got killed right in front of me
GG: and the fact he decided to hide that from me since he thought i couldnt handle it was really rude!!!
GG: even if i felt sorta bad reading his conversations :/
♊︎: HEΨ, II TOLD ΨOU II COULD RECOVER ALL THAT.
♊︎: ANΨWAΨ, THAT'S WHAT THEΨ GET FOR LEAVIING THEIIR SHIIT BEHIIND OR NOT EVEN BOTHERIING WIITH FIIREWALLS.
♊︎: EVEN HACKED THOSE FUCKIING SHADES RIIGHT ON DAVIIE'S FACE.
GG: i think randomly playing the squiddle theme song though his shades was pretty mean!
♊︎: LIITTLE SHIIT BROKE ΨOUR FLUSHED QUAD.
♊︎: SIINCE ΨOUR HATCHMATE AIIN'T DOIING SHIIT II FIIGURED II SHOULD H3H3
GG: yeah, hes gotten a lot worse now were nearly here
GG: meeting the alpha dave will probably be a lot for him
GG: and even his brother
GG: but ill be able to see jake
GG: who is NOT my father/grandfather :p
GG: he will be a friend!
♊︎: GOOD.
GG: what about sollux?
♊︎: WHAT ABOUT HIIM?
GG: well hes still alive, right?
GG: so youll be able to meet him as well
GG: hes your descendent
♊︎: THAT ECTOBIIOLOGΨ SEEMED TO HAVE FUCKED THAT UP.
GG: whatever!
GG: hes your descendent, youre the one who decided to keep calling him that
♊︎: WELL THE AGE DIIFFERENCE IIS PRETTΨ EXTREME.
♊︎: LEAST ΨOU AND JAKE AND ALL THE OTHER HUMANS ARE IIN THE SAME AGE BRACKET.
♊︎: ME, BAH. II'M OLD AS SHIIT.
GG: a grumpy old man :D
♊︎: ΨUP.
♊︎: BUT II HAVE NO IISSUES TALKIING TO SOLLUX IIF THAT'S WHAT ΨOU'RE WORRIIED ABOUT. II WON'T EAT HIIM.
GG: well good!
GG: he isnt godtier
GG: only aradia is (i think???)
GG: so if you eat him hell stay dead
♊︎: WAIIT SO HOW FUCKED UP A BODΨ ΨOU GOTTA HAVE BEFORE THE GODTIIER IIMMORTALIITΨ DOESN'T KIICK IIN?
♊︎: LIIKE SAΨ ΨOU GET EVAPORATED IIN LAVA OR BLIITZED IIN AN EXPLOSIION AND THERE IIS NO BODΨ LEFT.
♊︎: BUT THE DEATH IISN'T HEROIIC OR JUST.
♊︎: WHAT HAPPENS THEN?
GG: i dont think thatll happen!
GG: like you said, this is all game logic!
GG: even when a game sprite dies in lava its still there and doesnt have a realistic death
GG: i mean technically the fumes and heat from my volcano should be enough we couldnt get that close
GG: and when i got blown up by the shaving cream bomb i wasnt in pieces even if logically i shouldve lost my limbs and been mince meat
GG: i was only lightly toasted!
GG: also rose and dave got completely annihilated by the tumour???
GG: but they still went godtier!
GG: and thats how we got our seer of light and knight of time :)
♊︎: ΨOUR SEER SOUNDS DUMB AS SHIIT, WTF IIS THE POIINT OF BEIING A SEER IIF SHE GOT CONNED THAT FUCKIING EASIILΨ?
GG: be nice :p
♊︎: OH COME ON, EVEN ΨOU PIICKED UP ON HOW MUCH OF A SKEEZE THAT SCRATCH GUΨ WAS.
♊︎: ΨOUR FRIIEND WAS ACTIING LIIKE A HIIGHBLOOD, THIINKIING SHE'S SO SMART IIN SEEIING THE TRAP IIT MEANS SHE WON'T FALL IIN.
♊︎: THEN SHE FELL IIN AND KIILLED HER HATCHMATE AS WELL. BRAVO.
GG: the green sun is essential!
♊︎: ONLΨ IIF ΨOU'RE STIILL STUCK PLAΨIING THE GAME.
GG: well i mean
GG: yeah :/
GG: but were headed for a next session which is why the tumour plan still happened!
GG: it was one of those preordained things
♊︎: ΨEAH BUT HEAR ME OUT.
♊︎: BUT WHAT IIF
♊︎: AND II'M SPIITBALLIING HERE.
♊︎: WHAT IIF ΨOUR FRIIEND WAS NEVER SUCH A GULLABLE MORON IIN THE FIIRST PLACE? WHIICH MEANT THAT EVENT NEVER WOULD'VE HAPPENED?
♊︎: ALMOST LIIKE THOSE MURDERS WIITH THE TROLLS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IIF SOME BASE PERSONALIITIIES WEREN'T SO SHIT?
GG: i get your point but all four of us as alive!
GG: humans anyway :p
GG: and hopefully the remaining trolls are as well
GG: that one doomed timeline dream bubble i saw where karkat and terezi got murdered and it was horrible!
GG: i hope nothing like that has happened!
GG: but the green sun needed to exist
GG: since we still have to finish sburb!
GG: just in another session
♊︎: SO WHEN ΨOU HATCH THE TADPOLE AND GAIIN ACCESS TO A NOT FUCKED UP UNIIVERSE, THE GREEN SUN SHOULD VANIISH?
♊︎: SINCE IIT'S GAME ONLΨ?
GG: huh i suppose youre right
GG: i sorta know since im part first guardian and sprite!
GG: first guardians are created to protect a planet that has intelligent life and prepare them for sburb
GG: like for earth, bec was our first guardian and he was as old as the planet itself!
♊︎: II'M GUESSIING TIIME SHIIT SIINCE FROM WHAT ΨOU SAIID THE TROLLS WERE ONLΨ ON THE METEOR FOR AWHIILE AFTER FIINIISHIING THEIIR GAME WHIICH MADE ΨOUR UNIIVERSE.
GG: yup!
GG: i think wed have to ask dave more if we want to know timey stuff
GG: but with first guardians they can come in lots of different forms and bec was in the form of a dog!
GG: a good boy
GG: best friend
GG: i think his presence on my island also had to do with the frog temple as they tend to have a draw towards space players since first guardian powers have a lot to do with space
GG: bec also helped me get in contact with john and started our friendship which was needed to start sburb
♊︎: SO WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WIITH ALTERNIIA'S FIIRST GUARDIIAN?
♊︎: WHΨ WAS OUR WORLD SO ABSOLUTE SHIIT IIF THEΨ WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GUARDIIANS?
GG: i cant say :(
♊︎: GREAT.
GG: but maybe they really are just a game function!
GG: maybe once we finish the game our final universe wont have a guardian or the green sun
GG: i wonder if ill keep my dog ears?
GG: the hungering for dog treats and radioactive steaks i could also do without
♊︎: II DON'T THIINK DΨIING FROM FOOD POIISONIING IIS JUST OR HEROIIC.
♊︎: ONLΨ ONE WAΨ TO FIIND OUT THO :P
GG: hehe maybe another time!
GG: when were not so close to crashing through into this next session
GG: i wonder what a void session is like?
GG: and how their planets will look like
♊︎: CAN'T BE ANΨMORE SHIIT THAN THAT SWEATΨ LAVA ONE.
GG: i bet we can terraform it!
GG: though davesprite said he didnt care so i want to wait until i can ask dave
GG: but volcanic soil is some of the most fertile there is, its why i could grow so much on my island
GG: so i think we can do it!
♊︎: SO ΨOUR PLANETS WIILL COME WIITH ΨOU AFTER SBURB?
GG: i
GG: oh i forgot about that :/
GG: im not sure
GG: i really wish that game had come with a manual!
♊︎: ΨOU WERE PLAΨIING THE BETA VERSIION, THAT'S ΨOUR PROBLEM.
GG: seems like!
GG: oh well, when we meet up with the new players and rose and dave we can discuss tactics
GG: but we already have a plan to get the rings!
GG: and then figure out what is with this lord english guy
GG: since he just seems to be rampaging around in the dream bubbles
GG: but hopefully aradia knows! since she discovered that code and went off in the bubbles so if we find her we can make more plans
♊︎: IIF WE FIIND HER.
♊︎: ΨOU'VE BARELΨ BEEN ABLE TO GET IINTO ANΨ OF THAT WHIILE ASLEEP.
GG: yeah they have been sorta lame
GG: ive also only been able to meet a handful of trolls and theyre ones who dont know me at all!
GG: ive also never found dave or rose :(
GG: not even any doomed ones
GG: but it doesnt matter now!
GG: only a few days and ill meet them again!
GG: me and john are gonna hug them so hard!!!
GG: and then we can get together and figure out this lord english demony thing and then we can hatch the tadpole and finally finish the game :)
GG: i dont know what will wait for us on the other side but im sure youll come too!
GG: once echidna wakes up we can ask her for more help :)
GG: because i really doubt the game will just kill anyone who isnt godtier
GG: even if youre sorta like a player from a different session im sure it wont just erasure you
GG: then you can come to the new universe with us!!
♊︎: JADE THAT'S VERΨ SWEET BUT ΨOU SHOULDN'T WORRΨ ABOUT A GROUCHΨ OLD ASSHOLE LIIKE ME. LEAVE THE WORRΨ FOR ΨOUR ACTUAL FRIIENDS.
GG: youre my friend <3
GG: so ill worry about you as well!
GG: but i bet with all of us we can figure out how to defeat this lord english guy and make the genesis frog!!!
GG: and then this game will come to an end :)
GG: its been a lot of fun but at the same time im ready for it to end
GG: the three years on this ship really did help hehe
GG: even if teaching you how to swim was fun!
♊︎: II WOULD NOT CALL THAT SHIIT FUN LOL
GG: its true!
GG: im really happy that you were here with us mituna!
GG: im really happy youre my friend!
GG: just like john and rose and dave and karkat and jake!
GG: i know you keep thinking youre horrible but i dont think thats true
GG: i think you were just in such a horrible dark place for so long it became all you could think of
GG: and even being out here you were alone as a troll with only us aliens for company
GG: and i cant understand what you went through even if i sympathize because when it came down to it we still had each other
GG: i wont ever replace kankri or meulin or rosa and i dont want to!
GG: but id like for you to try with my friends
GG: i want you to try
GG: because there are still things worth fighting for!
GG: were going to build a new world and a new future and i really want you to be there with us!
GG: even if youre old and cranky youre still my friend
♊︎: H4H4H4
♊︎: WHEN ΨOU SAΨ STUFF LIIKE THAT IIT'S SO FACIINATIING.
♊︎: BECAUSE ΨOU JUST SOUND SO MUCH LIIKE KANKRII.
♊︎: MAΨBE THAT'S THE DIIFFERENCE, HE WAS A TROLL BUT HE THOUGHT LIIKE A HUMAN.
♊︎: THOUGHT THIINGS COULD BE BETTER.
♊︎: EVEN THOUGH THEΨ NEVER DIID. EVERΨTHIING REMAIINED TERRIIBLE AND CONTIINUED TO BE TERRIIBLE.
GG: that isnt true!!
GG: your civilization got destroyed, right?
♊︎: ΨEAH AND GOOD RIIDDANCE.
GG: shooosh!
GG: and that means you can help the trolls in this new world!
GG: you knew everything kankri taught, you can teach karkat and kanaya and everyone else how to live like he believed trollkind could!
GG: maybe the game made this clean slate for a reason and kept you alive for a reason
GG: so you could help it
GG: i dont know if they can make a matriorb if kanayas one is destroyed like you think but we could alchemize one??
GG: and then you can tell kanaya about rosa- not as a descendent or anything but how you saw a jadeblood raise a grub
GG: almost like humans would and how it shaped everything
GG: so maybe thats why youre here
GG: and even if you think you cant do something like that then ill help!
GG: i bet john and rose and dave and nanna and these new players will as well!
GG: it will be better, i promise
♊︎: MAΨBE BEIING STUCK ON THIIS STUPIID SHIIP REALLΨ HAS FUCKED MΨ PAN UP LIIKE THE HELM DIID.
♊︎: IIDK
♊︎: BUT ΨEAH, MAΨBE.
GG: !!!!!
GG: just you wait and see, everything will be better this time
♊︎: MAΨBE. DON'T BLAME ME IIF II DON'T HOLD MΨ BREATH :P
GG: anyway we should get ready!
GG: only a few days before we arrive
GG: im so excited!
♊︎: ♢
GG: <3

Chapter Text

Karkat

Jade continued talking, "But her session was taken over by the woman who you might call our mutual great grandmother. She's an alien. A very powerful troll queen actually."

Karkat rolled his eyes, "Yeah, the Condesce. I'm pretty fucking sure we all managed to deduce the fact she's here."

"You are the one who demanded an 'Uninterrupted spate of hard, unembellished data' so don't get all stroppy at me when I actually do as you ask," Jade snapped, a growl in her voice.

Kanaya shifted slightly next to him, neat fangs poking over her lips as she frowned but otherwise didn't move. Jade slowly drifted off the branch, hovering in place as the tiny, shrunken sphere of earth levitated over her hand.

"Her Imperious Condescension is in control now," Jade said loftily. "She intends to carry out the remaining objectives to complete the session and those tasks will be distributed among several recently recruited agents of course. That's you! This should come as a relief to you since it means you and she are not in opposition at all. In fact you share all the same goals! The only difference is that when the time comes she will be the one claiming the ultimate reward. The spoils will be hers not ours... get it?"

"Great, so we can get a good head start on our upcoming decadent life of slavery promised to us on your scale model of Alterniearth. That sounds great, doesn't that sound great Kanaya?" Karkat said sarcastically, deciding to ignore the suddenly surging memory of when he was gushing to Meenah back in that dreambubble about how awesome Alternia and the Condesce had been. Funny how having the psychopathic genocidial empress actually being alive could change his mind about her and the Alternian empire so quick.

Jade's grin widened, even if her tone matched his own in sarcasm, "I'm so happy you're being cooperative! It's such a nice change." Then her features shifted, becoming more serious as she said, "What you will need to do is ready the young frog for its journey to Skaia. I will prepare Skaia to receive it by deploying the battlefield from our old session. This will bring fertility to the void session and allow the frog to mature when he completes his journey."

"You want us to make another frog?" he said incredulously.

Jade scoffed at him, "No you dumbass, I've already made one remember? It fell into the Forge, in the years since it has sunk all the way down to the planet's core and Echidna is guarding it. As I'm sure Kanaya already knows it will not be released unless you travel there and formally request that she do so."

"Yeah well, why don't you do it?" he snapped.

"I already did, Echidna will not speak with me."

He outright laughed at her, "Why not? Could it be 'cause you're a crappy evil version of yourself and the mighty Echidna won't lower herself to talk to some lame farce that you've become?"

"It is not important why, and it changes nothing," Jade retorted. "She said she would only speak with another hero of space, so that would be Kanaya. She also cryptically requested the presence of the knight who once helped her with breeding duties. Karkat I gather that would be you."

"Me?" Karkat squinted at her. "Why the fuck would she request me?"

"I don't know, Karkat," Jade rolled her burning green eyes at him, "That is your problem, not mine. Maybe you should try feeling grateful she asked for you."

"Grateful?!"

"You're getting the chance to set right what went so horribly wrong," Jade bared her teeth in a nasty grin, "To atone for your hasty first attempt at frog breeding which resulted in a terminal universe. If I were you I would feel pretty relieved to get a second chance after ruining the first one so thoroughly, but that's just me."

"Wow, okay wow," Karkat shouted, waving his hands. "It's official, Kanaya! Jade has turned into some sort of gross nightmare bitch!"

Jade growled, ears pressing down against the wild mess of her hair, "I would be careful about the slurs you bandy about, particularly those targeting my canine qualities which I am sensitive about and therefore find to be really really mean. But enough of you being a shithead, Karkat! There's already another job you can do, before going to visit Echidna. It may be just as vital."

He scoffed, folding his arms, "Yeah like what? Braid the empress's hair? Do her laundry?"

She ignored his mocking, "Where's the Helmsman? Have you seen him recently? He left the ship after I parked it on Jake's planet when we crossed the Fourth Wall and I haven't been about to find him."

"He- what?"

Jade said, rubbing at her chin contemplatively. Her hair continued to swirl around her like a storm cloud, even as she continued, "And I can't even track him down by scent! He's burning it off with his psionics, that's so stupid it shouldn't work! Both him and John are pissing me off! I have the best doggy nose there is, they shouldn't be able to hide from me! Even the invisible girl can't! But those two doofus's can!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Karkat shouted. Because he knew what a helmsman was but why was Jade even talking about it? Wait, was she looking for Sollux?

Suddenly Karkat was so glad Sollux had left with Aradia to the dreambubbles. That he had abandoned Karkat, if it meant he had escaped being grafted into a sentient battery. Karkat had only read some online articles back before the Game, when Sollux flippantly mentioned his empire-give fate during one of their early morning conversations. What he read had made him especially clingy and panicky towards Sollux for half a sweep, much to the goldblood's annoyance.

"The Helmsman!" Jade shouted, eyes flaring an even brighter green as her whole body seemed to vibrate. "Stop acting so stupid, Karkat! You know what a helmsman is, and in this case the Imperial Helmsman somehow survived the Vast Glub and was hanging out with me and John all those years we were on the ship. There are some particular rumours the Demoness was involved, the time traveling Handmaid of Lord English himself. Did you know that? After all, once the Empress killed that rustblood the Helmsman's body was gone from the helmblock when she went back to her ship. Just poof! Gone! And it turned out that he vanished because he was with us! And now that we're in this session, we can rehire him and he can resume his glorious work within the Battleship Condescension."

"What?" Was all Karkat managed to say. The Imperial Helmsman?

"Urgh! Do I need to draw you a picture?" Jade's fluffy ears were pressed tight against her hair and her features contorted oddly as she spoke, like she was struggling to speak. "The Helmsman! He's Sollux's ancestor, so he basically looks like a really big Sollux. But considering you're confused, I would say you haven't seen him. Mituna is hardly some shrinking violet, honestly he puts your rants to shame. And if you haven't seen him then your secondary task will be locating him- or perhaps I can use you as bait, hm? Good thing two of the remaining trolls are descendants of Mituna's most cherished little family. Descendants of the Signless and the Dolorosa, his closest companions. Isn't that exciting! Even if he said he isn't interested in you two I bet deep down he really is and he'll probably help you guys if I use you as bait. Put you in mortal peril, maybe maul you a bit so you're bleeding. Isn't that a plan!"

"No it isn't," Kanaya said, scowling as she took a step forward. "I won't be used as bait like some helpless swooning character from one of many of Karkat's erotic literature collection."

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to borrow them-"

"Well that's great and all but you have no choice in this matter! Much like Karkat atoning for ruining the Genesis frog, this is your atonement for getting the matriorb destroyed," Jade interrupted them nastily.

Kanaya bristled, eyes narrowed as she snarled with her skin flaring white, "I'm choosing to overlook that comment since I know you aren't yourself."

"Oh, I'm not?" Jade taunted. "You said it yourself, back when we talked! You called yourself the 'keeper of the matriorb' but that got destroyed didn't it? Or did the Mother Grub die? Mituna actually bet us like a million troll dollars it was dead the moment he heard you had one, because of how stupid it all was. Guess he was right! He's an Heir of Doom, you know. So you can atone by helping us reinstate him. The Empress is very eager to have her Tuna returned to her," Jade finished.

Again that weird twisting and jerking of her head and Karkat had to wonder if inwardly Jade was trying to fight off the mindcontrol. If she had spent years with this Mituna then she probably got attached and wouldn't want him grafted back into a helmsblock. Even if the whole thing was bizarre and made no sense to Karkat. Next to him Kanaya inhaled deeply, her face scarily calm.

"Yeah whatever, fuck this and fuck you and fuck the empress," Karkat decided on. What the fuck was happening, ancestors were bullshit. Everyone knew that. "As the long suffering and reluctant leader, I motion that we don't do anything she says or anything to help the empress even if it overlaps with our own interests, and let's stop listening to were-Harley until she snaps out of her brutal idiot coma."

"I second this motion," Kanaya said coldly, looking a hairsbreadth away from brandishing her chainsaw.

Karkat threw his arms over his head, "The motion passes with an overwhelming majority of votes among people in the immediate vicinity who aren't horrible."

"You're pathetic, your ancestor would be ashamed of you," Jade said. "I know Mituna will be when you bait him out with your worthless self. But I don't need your approval, just your cooperation. Well actually, I don't need that either. After all, you should be aware that I have already threatened to kill some people today so watch your step mister."

Karkat groaned, "Yeah sorry Jade, you're about as threatening as some mild flatulence I had once."

"It's true, I am very threatening," Jade said, ignoring his sarcasm. "This girl right here though, Jane? She's even worse. She hasn't said a word the whole time, isn't that terrifying! And don't think just because you're a vampire you're safe, Kanaya. We have ways of dealing with the undead."

Kanaya looked confused at the sudden address while Karkat frowned. He wasn't even too sure where to start with the Helmsman revelation. Surely Terezi or Rose would've Seen something? Then again both were pretty lousy Seers, getting drunk on weird substances and falling down stairs a lot, so maybe he shouldn't been too surprised none of them had seen the wildcard that Sollux's ancestor was. Would he fight the Condesce? If she could control Jade then Karkat didn't have much hope about that battle, Jade was the strongest out of the humans and was now the Condesce's little loyal barkbeast. If she managed to control the Helmsman, like how Vriska did to Sollux, then they were doubly fucked.

Hehe, double.

"Jane here?" Jade ignored Karkat's dithering, carrying on with her ranting that no one cared about, "She has the power to bring people back to life although it is my understanding that this ability is limited to a one time only use per individual. So you do know what sort of effect her resurrection spell will have on undead targets...when you cast healing magic on a zombie or dracula they die!"

"I think you are presuming to know a lot about my nature which is not actually true," Kanaya said.

Jade groaned loudly, "Just shut up, I see a demonstration is need. Jane, if you will-"

Karkat was promptly yanked out of his thoughts about Sollux when Jane suddenly jumped forward and impaled him through the chest with her trident, the tines bursting out of his back in a spray of blood. The trident was yanked free as he heard someone yelling even as red blood splattered everywhere as Karkat fell backwards onto the ground, dead.

John

ectoBiologist [EB] has started pestering Mituna [♊︎]

EB: hey mituna!
EB: i don't know if you'll get this since i'm currently zapping around the place with no real rhyme or reason after sticking my hand in that magically house juju, so its like some weird extra power i can't control.
EB: so i stuck my hand in that glowy house and then went all blurry and started disappearing all over the place.

Mituna [♊︎] is an idle chum!

EB: though it isn't disappearing like the windy thing?
EB: since the zapping just seems to happen randomly and i'll show up at random events.
EB: like i'm preeeeeeeetty sure i saw rosa and little grub kankri?
EB: she just went feral and hissed at me like a super pissed off cat before i got zapped away again but yeah, some super huge troll lady with these shimmery green robes and this big red maggot baby thing in her arms that had teeny weeny horns.
EB: that's so crazy!
EB: but i still don't think this zappy thing is normal time travel?
EB: with regular time travel, the rules are pretty strict.
EB: either paradox space already accounted for your time traveling, and you were always supposed to do it all along...or you messed up, and changed something you weren't and it gets doomed and everyone dies.
EB: but this isn't like that.
EB: okay i'm rambling, guess you really are offline since you would've told me to shut the hell up already.
EB: but figured i'd give it a shot messaging you inbetween times because a lot has happened and i can't find you!
EB: basically jade is evil and brainwashed right now so look out for that.
EB: and i'm sorry to say but the condesce isn't dead and she's the one controlling jade with her alien mind powers since she's somehow in this session.
EB: and she made my nanna go evil as well with some freaky tiara.
EB: well, my young teenage nanna not nanna in sprite form.
EB: but anyway i talked to roxy about it, she's rose's teenage mother in this new session, and basically it is for real the condesce is alive and basically genocidied the human race in this session on their earth which is why it looks like a shitty expy from water world.
EB: she's holding roxy captive in that big ass castle because she wants her to make a new matriorb, since roxy is a rogue of void and can basically make anything out of nothing by stealing the essence of nothing which sounds dumb.
EB: so i guess you won the wager on that! the original must have been destroyed somehow.
EB: i told roxy to hold off on making a troll egg though, it would be like trying to hatch the frog while jack is around- super dumb when we still got all these crazy enemies.
EB: roxy is rose's teenage mum, so if you see a girl running around with white hair in a blue sneaky spy outfit that's roxy.
EB: my evil nanna is all in red and jade is all ashy grey since she's gone to the bark side.
EB: jade's grandpa and dave's bro are out there somewhere, they're not crazy as far as i know.
EB: and there's another friend of roxy's i didn't meet, she's dead and got killed by her brother apparently.
EB: that's what i need the ring for!
EB: you know that shiny one i left on the sofa and i nabbed from the dream bubble? it's gone and it's important so i need to find it.
EB: since i was told in the dream bubbles that its a super special ring that brings ghosts back to life and basically makes you invulnerable while wearing it.
EB: have you seen it or did you take it?
EB: since i'd really like to give it to roxy so she can help her friend, then we can all meet up and make plans on what to do about those evil cronies and that evil fish queen and jack noir.
EB: also there's another jack from this session who can vomit out rainbow fire and has a crowbar?
EB: this game is so weird.
EB: also i just saw karkat and kanaya!
EB: evil nana stabbed him and he died but she can bring people back to life so she lifey powered him and hes fine!
EB: then i got zapped away again but they're on jade's planet.
EB: anyway basically there's a lot of crazy shit happening right now so we should group up or something.
EB: i figured i should message you about the condesce since i know you're still super angry about her and her not being dead is probably gonna piss you off super bad.
EB: i'm not sure what her freaky troll powers are, since you said the only one she had was that psychic glubby thing with her sea monster?
EB: but from what roxy said that's how she's controlling jade, using like some weird mix of vriska's mind control combined with animal control and she can fly with lights and stuff sorta like you.
EB: uh oh, better go i think jade has found me, there goes trying to talk to dave.
EB: guess all of our strife practice is coming in handy right?
EB: since i guess you're doing the psionic thing to burn out your scent so she can't find you or something since you're not on the ship.
EB: anyway get back to me when you can!
EB: i'm getting zapped away so

ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering Mituna [♊︎]

Davesprite

The Land of Tombs and Krypton was very green.

Not in a foresty way like Jade's planet but all the skyscrapers were various shades of green. Or 'tombs' as Arquiusprite called them. Closer to the ground below were thick clouds of gas which would cause someone to choke to death.

Davesprite didn't think much of the Land of Heat and Clockwork but it seemed his bro's planet was even shittier. There he found two of the sprites from the Alpha session; Erisolsprite and Arquiusprite. At first he was rather disturbed by the red sprite's behaviour towards him, being equal parts fawning, strangely touchy and curious while also being rude, standoffish and probing, until the sprite admitted he was part of an AI formed out of Alpha's Bro's brain and fused with a dead troll.

Knowing his bro's name was really Dirk was rather strange, even moreso than the sprite which sweated a weirdly large amount and stunk like a barn. Bro had always just been that. Bro. To think he had a normal name like everyone else was odd.

Which didn't really help with Arquiusprite began to tell him about his interests; dairy, livestock, fine art and muscles. At first he thought the sprite was literally trolling him but no, the guy just really loved horses and muscles, and kept trying to get Davesprite to touch his muscles since he loved the topic so much. And puppets, even if that was a conversation Davesprite didn't want to start so he instead started asking him about the Alpha session. And wow, if the three year trip on the ship was boring then being stuck for months on crappy planets unable to do anything besides shitty romance attempts was even moreso.

By then Jaspersprite had also joined them and seemed to be doing his very best to catch the green sprite and nuzzle him. Probably drawn to the fish fins on one side of the sprite's face even if Arquiusprite seemed very intrigued by the pink 'purrbeast'.

But it was fine. They could sit around with each other and talk, bond over being off cuts of the Alpha form of themselves. Arquiusprite had accepted it a lot more easily, since his troll self had died. A part of him still felt a bit saddened though since Arquiusprite wasn't really his bro; he was a mash up of some creepy muscular troll and an AI. But at least it meant he was a freak, just like Davesprite was.

Davesprite did tell Arquiusprite a bit about John and Jade, and theorized Nannasprite would come join them soon. Seemed the Land of Tombs and Krypton was going to be the sprite hangout while shit went down. Davesprite didn't mind, as last he saw of John was him sleeping on the couch and Jade had just left without a word the moment she parked up the ship.

But of course things couldn't remain peaceful, as Davesprite had briefly stopped talking to the sprites to go down and poke at the alchemiter, when Erisolsprite and Arquiusprite started arguing as Jaspersprite watched. Just to check its history and get away from the troll drama sounding out overhead, and why was there so much zilly stuff? What even was a zilly?

Only for a very loud, "The fuck are you doing?" to snap him out of his absentminded poking at the console.

Davesprite felt his feathers fluff up as Mituna landed onto the roof top next to him, expression cranky. If there was another benefit to the ship travel ending it was not having to talk to the angry troll ever again but it seemed Mituna had decided to chase after Davesprite anyway and Davesprite turned to face the towering troll with a frown. He was wearing yellow trousers with knee high boots with matching yellow laces, a black short sleeved shirt that clung to his muscular torso with the Gemini symbol stretching up to his neck and spreading across his shoulders. The sides of the shirt and hems were yellow, like his blood.

Trolls had a big thing about their symbols and colours, Davesprite noticed. It was like the small stud earrings Mituna had started wearing, showing the symbols of his family that got killed. Some massive cultural importance that Davesprite couldn't care less about.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Davesprite said, trying to keep his voice even. "I'm checking out what sweet goods they'd been making in this Alpha sesh."

"What the fuck is a zilly?" Mituna eyed the alchemiter before waving a long clawed hand, psionics crackling over it before a very colourful gun suddenly appeared on the pad, "What's this say- 'Cast from the most priceless squippyclink ores mined from the famous whooping volcanoes owned and curated by the distinguished Maximillion Hotpocket Puckershuttle Junior, and then packed to the brim with the hilarious traveling Grief Miser's explosive winklepork snuff. Ta da, the blunderblass of Zillywigh'. Wow this is one hideous piece of shit. Looks like the hemospectrum threw up all over it."

Sometimes it was really annoying that Mituna's brain seemed half machine since he could usually hack anything by proximity. Something to do with the electromagnetic waves he could tap into, which always drove Jade up the wall whenever she tried challenging him to a hack off since he didn't even need to touch a keyboard. Davesprite watched as Mituna went through the history of the machine, more colourful weapons appearing on the pad. From a sword, pistols, giant fork, needles and ugly little santas. And a normal katana. That must've been his bro.

"Well suppose I could give these wands to Rose, she's the human who uses needle/wandkind, right?" Mituna asked him. "Or you could. Or I guess you're just going to be a coward per usual and run away from your problems? That's why you fucked off so quickly and are hiding in this shitty planet."

"Go point fingers at Jade, she's the one who left first," Davesprite said defensively. He and Mituna had never gotten along and after his blow up with Jade and John Mituna had been treating him with outright disdain. Davesprite just wanted the troll to leave him alone.

"She went to go see her grandpa," Mituna shrugged, even as he stowed everything away on his sylladex with a flash of energy. Another annoying thing, Mituna's ability to hack anyone else's sylladex. Davesprite was still pissed about his ishades being hacked and his sylladex suddenly being filled with exploding pies all the time.

"Well I went to go see my bro," Davesprite said, floating back slightly. "Not really my bro but a sprite guy like me so we've been bonding over being off cuts of the real deal."

A loud groan, "You still bitching about this? Fuck me."

Mituna's glasses more closely resembled ski goggles, thick and wide to cover the majority of his upper face. One side red and one side blue with the outside yellow. There was also a weird tiara-like headband he was wearing just above it that Davesprite hadn't seen before, pushing back his thick curly fringe with a tiny Gemini symbol in the middle. But even with the glasses Davesprite could see the glow behind them, and feel the energy skittering across his body as the troll glared at him. Being part of the cool shades gang had really lost its luster when one half of said gang hated his feathery snake sprite ass.

"I can bitch all I want, it's a free country especially considering all countries got blown up," Davesprite, with a brief glance towards the nearby rooftop. At least he didn't have an audience to getting a verbal beat down but with how loud Mituna could get they probably wouldn't be alone for long. He rather hoped Nannasprite would show up to join the sprite convention, she seemed to always be able to handle Mituna and his rages in a way even Jade couldn't.

"Oh please, me and you know this isn't just you being a pathetic loser," Mituna retorted, sparks snapping off his fangs. "You think I don't recognize someone self destructing? I've done that shit enough times back in the day, ruining my relationships 'cause I didn't think I deserved them. Thought I was some pancracked fuck up so might as well burn those bridges and get everyone hating me. Like your bullshit-"

"I don't have any fucking bullshit," Davesprite said angrily. "Why don't you just mind your own business."

"No, because for some stupid reason Jade still gives a shit about you," Mituna snapped. It didn't escape Davesprite's notice the troll did not mention John.

"So you're just lecturing me 'cause of Jade, got it," he said sourly.

"Yes, I am. Because that's what you're doing, blowing up your relationship so when the Game is over and you're wiped they won't care if you died. News flash, you don't get to control anyone elses emotions," Mituna growled, the spidery veins running up his arms and across his face flaring briefly. "And how do you even know you're going to die, huh? What the fuck are you gonna do if the Game spits you out on the other sides? Still be a pathetic loser?"

"Your prep talk is shit."

"Aw, want to me coddle you like Nanna?"

"I want you to fuck off and leave me alone," Davesprite said angrily.

"How about I just kill you then?" Mituna asked, tilting his head to the side as a nasty grin settled on his features.

Davesprite froze and Mituna took a step forward, easily standing head and shoulders over the sprite despite the fact he was levitating.

"You constantly moan and groan over how shit your existence is, so why don't I just end it? I've done it before, you know. Us lowbloods didn't have access to all that medical and prosthetics bullshit during the rebellion," Mituna said. "So there were quite a few we had to mercy kill. And you, that's what you're waiting on right? Waiting to die and then just whining over it as you sit on your ass. Bitch, shove that angst up your damn nook. Either commit or shut the fuck up and fix everything you're ruining."

Davesprite didn't say anything, even though he could feel the psionics radiating off the troll which made his feathers all stand on end. Mituna kept watching him with that cold, calculating stare that reminded Davesprite unnervingly of Bro. But while Bro's disapproval would always be sharp and focused Mituna's was furious, like heatwaves emanating from a fire pit and just directed towards anyone nearby.

"The silence eh," Mituna finally said with a sneer. "See, you don't even want to die. But that whole 'cool' facade is exactly that; a mask since deep down you're just an insecure loser with shit self esteem. Take it from someone who actually lost everything, maybe you shouldn't write off your friends or your life until you're actually sure you're going to lose them. Because for some stupid reason Jade still gives a shit about you, meanwhile I can't really blame John for throwing in the towel after you shitty dead lusus impersonation like what the fuck even was that? You're such a rude little bitch. But Jade still cares. She deserves better than your treatment. So does your Rose, since the one here is a Seer isn't she? Maybe she would remember you, but as if you'd fucking care-"

Then abruptly Mituna stopped talking, his gaze skittering off to something over Davesprites's winged shoulder as his jaws snapped shut with a sharp clack. Davesprite could see the utter hatred that swarmed over the troll's features, slowly peeling back his lips to show all his long teeth as he let out a low sibilant hiss that set Davesprite's feathers on end. Davesprite remained frozen so a long while until he realized Mituna was looking at something, that the troll's rage wasn't directed at him. Something that had enraged him so badly he had completely forgotten his lecture.

Slowly, against all his instincts to look away from the threat in front of him, Davesprite glanced over his shoulder and was confused to only see Arquiusprite. Peeking over the nearby rooftop, enough they could see the symbol on his chest and the cracked pointed shades on his face. He always looked vaguely pained but Davesprite just thought it was due to being part robot. Jaspersprite and that cranky green troll sprite were also there, probably having been drawn by Mituna's increasingly loud voice as they looked down at the two. Jaspersprite's ears were pinned against his head, pink fur on end.

"Yeah that's my alternative sprite troll-robot bro," Davesprite said casually even if his wings had started to puff up at the slowly building energy radiating off Mituna as the troll's entire body seemed to vibrate. It was making Mituna's earlier irritation seem like a petty squabble even as the troll's hands unclenched, his taloned fingers flexing like they were eager to rip into flesh.

And too late did Davesprite remember something, a conversation that had happened years ago. When they were talking about the zodiac and Mituna's connection to it, how he knew most of them as they were all ancestors of the trolls who played the Game. And now his furious, raging reaction to spotting Arquiusprite and how he looked seconds away from snapping.

No, not the sprite.

But towards the symbol on his chest. The arrow. Sagittarius.

THAT'S HOW II KNEW THAT SΨMBOL.
THE EXECUTOR HAD IIT ON HIIS ARMOUR, A BIIG MUSCULAR FUCKER WITH STUPIID ARROW-SHAPED HORNS.

Oh shit.

Davesprite grabbed Mituna's arm out of reflex as the troll launched himself forward with an explosion of energy, the psionics raking across Davesprite's arm and making him bite back a yelp of pain. A moment later Mituna went crashing down onto the rooftop in front of the three other sprites, lances of energy forking off him and ripping up steel and tiles as Davesprite remained clinging to his arm. The nearby radio tower began to crackle and bend, psionics darting up it like lightning as the air became charged.

Mituna raised a hand, yanking Arquiusprite up in a vicious grip of blue and red energy before him.

"You filthy fucking animal, you dare to show your face to me?!" Mituna shouted, the words reverberating through the air as if amplified by a foghorn. "After what the fuck you did?!"

"Wait, he isn't the executor!" Davesprite shouted, feeling some of his feathers being burned off and the skin on his hands started peeling as the psionics lashed at him. "He's just his descendant or some part of him, he isn't the one who killed your friend! Let him go!"

Jaspersprite fled behind one of the tombs, teeth bared and bristling while Erisolsprite was pressed hard against the wall, pinned down by the wild psychics lashing everywhere and making the air blurred. Davesprite was suddenly, horribly reminded of when Bro died against Jack, with all that pulsating fire and green energy and the reek of blood in the air.

And now he was going to watch his bro die in front of him, even if it was only part of him.

Arquiusprite let out a startled noise at being grabbed into a great fist of psionic energy, his features twisting but unable to move anything else, "Mister dude! I don't know why you're so fudging upset but half of me is freaking out over some grown up peasant blood throttling me and the other half is freaking out over potentially getting murdered-"

"Shut the fuck up, blueblood scum!"

"He's not the executor!" Davesprite shouted, finally having to let go of Mituna to avoid being flayed by his wayward psionics even as orange blood started dripping off his fingers. He sprawled back, the sheer pressure from the psionics flattening him against the rooftop.

"What do you care?" Mituna snarled at him, blue lightning zapping off his horns and ripping a bloody slice up Davesprite's arm, "You don't give a fuck, isn't that your thing?! Crying and moaning about being some off cut of the real Dave. So what do you care if I kill this fucked up copy? Whatever the shit it's supposed to be?"

"I don't want to die!" Arquiusprite let out a yelp as the psionics constricted and Davesprite saw the red cracks starting to appear over his body as Mituna began to crush him, "Not again, my muscly troll half got throttled by some crazy clown but digital human half me wants to live, I'm scared."

"Mituna, just put him down!" Davesprite shouted, even as the roof beneath them began to boil and split. "I don't want to see my bro die in front of me again!"

"Mustard blood-"

"Shut up, bro!"

A clench of a clawed fist and Arquiusprite exploded in a massive crimson cloud, the shock waves knocking Davesprite backwards. Distantly he heard Jaspersprite's panicked screech.

The silence that followed the act was stifling and Davesprite curled up on the ground. His feathers were scorched and the smell of burning flesh and ozone was thick in the air. His breathing was shaky, wings trembling.

"You," Mituna's voice was soft, far more subdued and Davesprite watched as he waved a hand and dragged forth Erisolsprite from his hiding spot.

Davesprite ignored the orange blood dripping off his arms, looking at the small crater where Mituna had literally crushed Arquiusprite to death. He couldn't move.

"You're part of my descendant, aren't you? Sollux," Mituna said, eyeing the sprite. His voice was tired compared to the sheer rage when he attacked Arquiusprite.

"Fuck," was the sprite's panicky reply, lispy and trembling, his hands waving frantically, "Please, just leave me alone. Fuck fuck, my whole pan is melting. Leave me alone. That dumbshit fish brain is going crazy, meeting his ancestor but not really since the mustard blood is freaking over you who actually is the ancestor. How the fuck is the Helmsman alive, what the fuck, what the fuck, who are-"

"It's fine, I'll just kill you," Mituna cut over him. A hand raised and Erisolsprite went ridged as a cocoon of psionics enveloped him. "This is cruel, blending you to one of those seadwellers. Bye, Sollux. Wish we'd had a better meeting but life is shit."

A clench of his fist and Erisolsprite exploded in a cloud of green and was no more.

For a long moment Mituna just stood there, the crackling energy slowly fading from his body as the green sparks and emotes disappeared. Davesprite didn't try to get up, just gripped his injured arm and feeling the blood seep between his fingers with his tail curled around himself. Around him the rooftop was still heated, bubbles scattered and beams melted.

Then Mituna looked upwards and Davesprite followed his gaze; in the far distance, where Jade's planet was barely the size of a golf ball, a weird brilliant white glow started to emanate like a pulsating star. Davesprite glanced back at Mituna and he could see blue lines appear on the troll's goggles as Mituna readjusted them; and of course John would message the murder troll, not his reject best friend.

"Shits happening. You gonna do anything?" Mituna turned to him, lips curled in a sneer. As if nothing had happened.

Davesprite just stared back at him. The left lenses of his shades was cracked.

"Just sit here and be sad and pathetic then," Mituna said blisteringly. "You're so fucking useless. You'd think you'd care about your friends more than your shitty self esteem."

A burst of blue and red and he was gone, nearly teleporting he was moving so fast. Davesprite just remained where he was, the orange blood dripping down onto his tail, down his face.

Great, it had taken ages for his wing and chest wound to heal. Now he had messed up arms and there were more cuts all over him.

After a moment he felt Jaspersprite settle around him, the cat looking worried as he curled around Davesprite. His purring was broken and anxious, his pink fur still on end and Davesprite could feel him trembling.

That was how Nannasprite found them, letting out a startled exclamation and demanding answers when she saw Davesprite's wounded arms and wings.

Aranea

A burst of purple sparks and Aranea fell backwards, her soul snapping back into her body. The Dirk who had been attacking her had vanished, leaving Aranea disorientated and achy but alone.

"Good grief that was painful," she said, getting back to her feet with a grimace. And drat, while she had been occupied by the Prince of Heart- and where had he even come from? She hadn't sensed his approach, it was if he had appeared out of thin air -she realized Jake had been killed. He was an equalizer she needed but he had still done his job with knocking out a mindcontrolled Jade. Now there was no pesky First Guardian Space Witch to worry about.

Then she spotted Jane hurtling towards her, expression wild and tiara glowing. Aranea tensed, hand flying to her temple as she forced her psychics into Jane's mind. It was hard with the malevolent technology in the way and the effort making her bare her teeth, but after a moment Jane jolted mid leap and promptly fell to the ground, sound asleep.

Aranea scowled; she wasn't very pleased Jane had killed Jake but it wouldn't be a Just or Heroic death. It did mean he was no longer Hope powering up but she would deal with that later. She had also lost control of the little Makara but she had no real need him anymore. So now it was time to start tearing the empire apart so she could heal the timeline-

A soft buzzing and Jane's unconscious form moved, legs and arms jerking despite the fact she was still sound asleep. Aranea barely had time to tense before Jane's sleeping body was lunging for her.

Only for blue and red energy to seize Jane mid leap, holding her in place even as her arms and legs kept flailing. Aranea blinked, unsure of what was happening; it was the Damaras in the nearby dreambubble she was controlling to use their psychics, not psionics. Mituna was useless after his injury back in the Game.

But the troll that landed on the house right in front of her was a Captor beyond doubt. Dual horns, yellow Gemini symbol. red and blue psionics. But an adult, towering over Aranea and looking at her with absolute disgust.

Another wildcard. But Aranea was prepared. She was now Mindfang, with the ring of life adorning her finger and a Slyph of Light with billions of sweeps of experience. She was not afraid.

"Hello there," she greeted pleasantly. "You are certainly not the Condesce."

"No shit, dumbfuck, that pink whore can eat my bulges," he snapped.

Between them Jane was still wiggling, still unconscious and held upright by the troll's psychics.

"Settle down, Nanna-wiggler," the newcomer said, barely giving the Maid a glance. "I'll get that shitty thing off your head once I deal with this highblood bitch. For now, keep out of this."

Aranea didn't intervene when the stranger promptly capchalogued Jane's unconscious body even if the act raised her eyebrows. Usually an organic subject would have to be of minimal intelligence or dead to be safely stowed in a sylladex but she couldn't recognize the one the troll had used.

"I'm not sure it's wise to put a living thing in there," she said.

"How about you shut your blue mouth up?" the Captor said. "You don't know anything, you dumb bitch."

"Well that's that a rude thing to say, especially to someone you've just met."

"You're a cobalt- you that piece of shit Vriska? Thought you were dead?" the stranger said, a nasty tone to his voice.

Aranea ignored how his body was shimmering with psionics, the light radiating from him enough she had to partially shut her sensitive left eye.

"Vriska is my descendant," Aranea explained, "I am Mindfang and I am here to overtake this session. I intend on making sure it never bears fruit, that Lord English will not be created. Then the young Lord of Time will never have hatched in the first place. I won't merely be defeating an invincible foe. I will be erasing all the pain he has ever caused. I am a very powerful Sylph of Light, I wield an unprecedented ability to heal. A doomed timeline is really just an anatomical feature of a much larger organism. Like a capillary which comes to an end, because it has withered and died. I believe I can heal this offshoot and with enough time and patience I am confident I can restore its vitality to such a great extent, it will effectively take over as the alpha timeline and thus reducing English to a lost footnote of paradox space. Then the new alpha timeline will flourish under my immortal care. I will watch over it for eternity, assuring peace and harmony everywhere. There will be a new progeny of universes, and those universes will beget more universes, and each will benefit from my good grace. I will personally make sure nothing like the English mishap ever occurs again. I mean, this is mostly theoretical, of course. But the most important thing here is that I am involved now. It is vital to all our interests that I at least try. I am not your enemy, if you are opposing the destruction of paradox space then we have the same goals."

Finished, Aranea smiled at the towering stranger, brushing off the skirt of her dress as she waited for his response.

The goldblood laughed at her.

It was a nasty noise, cold and mocking and jeering and made Aranea bristle at the obvious pointed mirth. Especially when he just wouldn't stop, even bending over clutching at his stomach as he cackled. She felt her face flush blue.

"What exactly is so entertaining?" Aranea said, a sharp note entering her voice. "I am here for a reason. Meanwhile, I don't know anything about yourself. You are clearly a Captor, but you aren't Mituna nor Sollux. Who are you?"

Her lack of knowledge in this area was so vexing. Aranea was always the person who knew things.

He gave her a nasty grin as he straightened up, voice slightly wheezy, "I am Mituna Captor."

"No you aren't," Aranea said. "I am well aware of who Mituna Captor is. He is Heir of Doom and was once a powerful psionic in our session. He was gifted with vision twofold, and had strong prophetic insights wherever a bleak future was concerned. He had much to say when it came to warning us about the path of doom and destruction we were all headed for, which seems to be a fascinatingly shared trait with Sollux Captor who held similar visions about the destruction of Alternia, but no one took him very seriously. But one day he lost all those abilities when he badly overexerted himself. Not only did his exertion permanently burn out his psychic abilities, but it left him somewhat... er. Incoherent. He is not you, I'm afraid. And I am currently the only one of us from session A1 who is actually active and alive, I am here to topple Lord English and his handmaid-"

"Hey Fuckfang, can you shut up?" The troll interrupted her rudely. "Wow, you're a preachy asshole. Obviously just rubbing your nook to the sound of your own voice aren't you?"

"There's no need to be so vulgar," Aranea frowned at him. At the very least he was as crude as Mituna.

Another nasty laugh, "Fuck off, loser. And I'm Mituna Captor- just from Alternia, like that whore Meenah who is the Condesce there. Now, how about you hand over that ring and I won't flay you alive. But let me guess, being a highblood you are doing something so important you just had to rob John and was trying to kill his nanna-wiggler?"

'I- you're a survivor of the Alternian universe?" Aranea immediately perked up. She wanted to reach out with her psychics and search his mind but felt it could be quite rude with first impressions. So instead she said, "My group of twelve played the game, but failed. A great deal went wrong and the reckoning destroyed our battlefield well before we had any hope of winning. I sought advice from Echidna and she told me how to scratch the session to give us another chance. But the choice to do so came with accepting the annihilation of our existing forms. In the new instance we would lead completely different lives with no memory of what happened. So we did, and created a new universe where Alternian was and thus were placed there as the ancestors to the current alliteration Game players. So my apologies, it does seem that you are indeed Mituna! I am more familiar with the one who played Sgrub with me so my apologies for the misunderstanding. How did you get here? You were the Helmsman back on Alternia, were you not-"

A moment later she launched herself to the side, smelling burnt hair as she narrowing avoided a jagged beam of energy that went careening off downwards to the lava pool. If it weren't for him having to briefly pause to push up his goggles he most likely would've gotten her with it. Especially with how it had swerved and twisted, more like a lightning bolt than a beam to her intense curiosity. The amount of strength and experience to control an energy blast like that-

"Don't fucking call me that!" he snarled, pursuing her into the air.

"My apologies," she said, waving her hands placatingly as she floated backwards. The ring, he knew about John's ring. How? How did he travel in the new session? The Condesce had been taken as Lord English's slave, that was how but she had no idea how the Helmsman managed to survive. "I meant no offense, I did not know that such a title triggered you. I'll just call you Mituna from now on."

Aranea eyed Mituna as he hovered in the air across from her, a nasty snarl on his features as his hands flexed at his sides. She had a strong suspicion he was far more dangerous than Jade or Jane could ever be, perhaps even as strong and wild as the Condesce herself. The problem was, she didn't know what side he was on while the Condesce had made herself clear.

"The ring, hand it over," Mituna snapped, offering his hand. His claws were longer than the first digit of her finger. A true Alternian troll.

"This ring? It was originally intended as a gift to my young descendant," Aranea said as she waggled her hand and letting the ring gleam. "It's only fitting that I wear it and bring additional glory to the Serket name. Surely you've heard of my Alternian self, Marquise Spinneret Mindfang whom I am named for? She was a very successful pirate."

"No I don't know any stupid asshole with such a dumb name," Mituna said, eyes burning so bright Aranea actually had to divert her own stare. "And believe me, having your pan fucked by technology made me pretty up to date on shit. Guess she was just some third rate loser. And why the fuck you braggin' about being bloodkin to a pirate? They're fucking dumbasses who went all extinct. And how fucking dare you so blithely brag about fucking up that game so bad you created Alternia, that just means everything that happened there is your fault. Your fault for being so stupid and useless and creating a shithole planet due to your stupidity! So hand over the fucking ring before I snap your arm off, bitch."

Aranea bristled, "I'm actually very nice! We are just getting off on the wrong foot here, my end goal is the preservation of this timeline. If John is your friend, then rest assured I have met him before. He is quite kind."

"So what the fuck were you doing with the nanna-wiggler?" he demanded.

"She's controlled by an evil computer, you said so yourself," Aranea said. It was looking more and more likely she would need to subdue him. Even if he was the Condesce's age, as a goldblood he was far more susceptible to her mental control. She could just made him sleep and remove his wildcard element and then decide what to do with him later on. Perhaps he could even be useful as a weapon she controlled with her more rational urges.

"Then where is Jade?" Mituna said. "The human with barkbeast ears, the Witch of Space. Long hair, black dress, red shoes. Where is Jade?"

Aranea tensed even further; the Fourth Wall. She felt like a fool for not realizing. John calling Sollux a mini Mituna during their treasure hunt wasn't due to the fact he'd seen the Mituna in the dreambubbles but rather due to the fact he'd been on the ship with Alternian Mituna for three years. A place away from anyone's sight, even her own. How, though? How did he survive, get sent there? She hungered so deeply for answers. But she couldn't let him know she had killed Jade. She had little doubt Mituna wouldn't like that.

She tried avoiding it, "As an ancient and learned scholar, I'm versed in a wide range of unusual phenomena. You are quite an anomaly. How did you survive the destruction of the Genesis Frog? The Condesce was enslaved as Lord English's new handmaid which is why she is in this session as his-"

"What the fuck did you do to Jade?" he interrupted angrily. His psionics were getting so strong they were merging into purple, the blue and red melding in a bristling cocoon of energy around him that shimmered and danced like flames.

"The Condesce was mindcontrolling her," Aranea said, struggling to keep her voice even.

"Answer my question, Fuckfang."

"Stop calling me that, my name is Mindfang."

"I don't give a single fuck what your shitty title is you little blue brat," he scoffed at her. "You're so lame, role-playing as some shitty bitch pirate who made zero impact on history. How fucking pathetic. But you've got something that belongs to a friend of mine. Speaking of friend, where is the rest of the aliens? That red one was Nanna, wasn't she? Or the Alpha version anyway. There should be like six more. But first, give me that ring."

"No," Aranea said.

Mituna bared his teeth at her, "I wasn't asking."

"You can't threaten me," Aranea said simply. "I cannot be killed. You see, as long as a certain charm remains in my possession, I am immortal. Even more immortal than usual!"

Mituna's sneer turned into such a nasty grin Aranea regretted saying anything. He laughed, vicious and cruel, "Nah, you're not unkillable and I'll bet I can fuck you up. If I get that ring off you one way or another and then you'll die like the rest of your smug trash bloodcaste won't you? So yeah, I'm gonna peel the flesh off your arm and take that ring anyway. Be that'll work."

Aranea raised a hand to her temple, "I do apologize, I had thought we had the same goal but I cannot have such a wildcard element running around. I've nullified Jade and Jane and Roxy, and it seems I must do the same for you. So I'm afraid I will have to put you down. Pleasant dreams."

Nothing happened.

Mituna's grin grew even wider and wider, and Aranea brought her full psychic might to bear; the same which had controlled hundreds of ghosts with no true effort. And instead it was if the goldblood wasn't in front of her at all. She could feel and control nothing. Her powers were useless.

"Stupid fucking highblood! Let's see how good you fight without your shitty cheat codes!" Mituna crowed before launched himself at her so fast it was as if he'd teleported.

The fight was terribly one sided, if it could even be called that.

Aranea barely had time to bring up her arms before Mituna crashed into her, knocking her back midair before he seized a fistful of her hair at the back of her head. His other hand seized her wrist and Aranea felt a terrible lurch as she saw the headband, nearly obscured by his pushed up goggles; but she felt it did the opposite of Jane's, rather than control it thawted any attempts to do so.

She twisted, trying to yank herself free of his grip and making the mistake of looking him in the eyes, nearly nose-to-nose with him and sheer burning brightness of his blue and red psionics seared her more sensitive left eye blind. She kicked ineffectively at his waist; Slyph wasn't a combat class, they were for healing, and when she tried to access her strife deck she felt it jam. That made no sense until she heard Mituna's maniacal laughter, his psionics clenching so hard around her body she felt her bones creak.

Could he jam a strife deck, keeping her weapons inside? How was that even possible?

However the life ring was working, as her vision quickly healing only to be blinded the moment if recovered. It felt like she was on fire, the psionics burning her skin into blackened hunks, the reek of burnt meat filling the air. Her horns were beginning to fray as the psionics clenched, splinters and slits appearing over the usually smooth yellow-and-orange and making her scream. This wasn't like the soul ripping, which was just a great general pain; she was simultaneously being crushed and burned to death.

Both her legs snapped, bones breaking free of grey skin as the blue blood began to float around them. Aranea trapped by Mituna's hands digging into her, by the psionics crushing her. Even with the ring he simply kept her legs forced into their broken forms, the ring unable to heal if it couldn't move her broken bones and limbs back in place. She was still screaming.

She tried to focus, tried to reach out with her psychics; the dreambubbles were close, she could use Damara's psychics, that ghost dropped a sword, she could-

Only to let out a garbled shriek as her arm was snapped in half, the pain distracting her and she couldn't even think as a deep boiling pressure began in her skull. Like the beginnings of a migraine, pulsating and making her vision narrow.

Distantly she was aware of how Mituna's hand slid down her arm, the grey flesh boiling behind in the psionics enveloping the yellowblood's body. She started choking on her blood, her tongue burning into crackling jerky that oozed blue and splattered down her chin. But she felt his claws digging into her fingers, ripping past flesh into bone, distantly felt his cursing. He couldn't remove the ring.

So instead he twisted his head around and sank his teeth into her wrist and started chewing her hand off.

She tried to move but was frozen in place as her body was ripped apart, her horns splitting open like flowers to reveal all the delicate nerve endings inside. The pulse in her head grew stronger, until it was a beat of agony in time with her heart. Her teeth began to shatter, crushed from the force, as the reek of burnt meat clogged the air as all she could do was scream.

Then she felt her hand be torn free with a wet ripping noise, the blood spraying out and splattering across Mituna's front and face in rich cobalt. The last thing Aranea saw, before her thinkpan melted and imploded out through her eyes, was the glint of the ring between Mituna's bloody fangs.

Rose

Rose was panicking.

Not obviously and to anyone watching she would just seem rather irritated with current events.

But having been greeted at their entry into the new session with a brainwashed Jade, being separated from Kanaya and dumped on her Land which nearly blinded her in her hung over state, then she got a rather cryptic message from Dave and hopped over to the gate to Jade's Land, she still felt wildly off kilter. Three years of monotony and then suddenly everything was happening all at one. There was a lot going on she didn't understand- Jade's grandpa using some weird hope bomb which blew up part of the volcano, Dave's bro zapping some troll and then she saw her.

The emotions Rose felt when seeing her teenage mother was complex and overwhelming, until Dave's bro shouting at her to grab the unconscious girl and get her to safety penetrated her brain. Rose picked her up, noting the almost spy like Godtier outfit she was wearing, and quickly flew her across the newly made lava moot to set her on the other broken side of Jade's toppled house and away from the chaos.

Rose was dithering over how to wake up her mother- didn't John say her name was Roxy? In his brief foray in the Land of Light and Rain? -when she spotted Terezi and Gamzee fighting far down in the middle of the lava pool on the house. Though fighting was a generous word, as it seemed to mostly entail Gamzee smashing Terezi's face in with his bare hands. In the distance she heard barking and up on the remaining pillar of Jade's house, where Dave's bro and that strange troll had been, she could see a massive burst of red and blue energy like a lighning storm. She ignored all that to focus on the two trolls fighting down below, shifting to action when her yelling failed to do anything.

Her attempts to mediate failed, as she missed her shot with the quills and instead nearly shot Jade's teenage grandfather and sent him flying. Rose was torn between staying and guarding Roxy's unconscious form and going down there and physically intervening when there was a burst of energy and she leapt back.

She hovered over Roxy's prone form, the Quills of Echidna glowing bright in her hands as a troll landed in front of her with a crash. Only the deep certainty she would die if she attacked him stayed Rose's hand, and the idea it was not needed at all.

The first thing that caught her attention was the large amount of blue blood covering his mouth, dripping down his chin and staining his chest. The other was how big he was. Kanaya was tall but this troll was towering, with pitch black glossy skin like satin compared to the grey of all the rest she knew. He also had four horns and a familiar yellow symbol on his bloodstained chest and Rose realized with a jolt who he was, the familiarity enough to lower her wands slightly.

"Sollux? Your timing is interesting," Rose said, voice terse. "I believe I saw you last when you departed with Aradia, just before we started our three year journey to this new session."

The troll blinked, briefly obscuring his glowing eyes. Goggles were shoved up onto his forehead, hair thick and curly. His eyes were solid colours compared to the yellows of all others. Then he laughed, "You're Rose, right? John said you're just a 'nice nerd who likes to read and knit' and then added you sometimes talk to elder gods and go grimdarky. That you? The Seer of Light."

"Yes, I'm Rose Lalonde. And this is my m- my, uh, this is Roxy Lalonde," Rose said, flustered, as she gestured to Roxy's prone form.

"Good, found one of you. But I'm not Sollux, I'm Mituna. His ancestor. Long story short, I'm here to help. I'll give you the long version and all the details later while shit isn't happening. First off, what the fuck was with that blue bitch?" the troll asked.

Rose blinked, "The uh, blue bitch?"

"The troll! The one back on that house, the cobalt who was fucking around," he snapped, waving his hands. "Said she was some immortal ghost. Huh, I proved her wrong. But she said she nullified Jade, Jane and Roxy. I can wake your hatchmate up and I have the nanna-wiggler with me so that ain't no big. So where is Jade then?"

"Last I saw she was brainwashed, Jane might know more since they were in evil cahoots with each other," Rose said. She was deeply intrigued by this random adult troll but he was right, they had a lot going down so answers would have to wait.

"Huh. Well, lucky them I have a means of stopping that. But first thing first-"

Rose stared as he promptly fetched Jane from his sylladex, holding her midair. Jane instantly started squirming, despite being asleep. Ignoring that, Mituna grabbed her head in his bloody hands and Rose watched anxiously as the glowing red and blue energy shimmered down his hands and into the crimson tiara around Jane's head. She kept thrashing even while unconscious like a hooked fish and then there was a sharp buzzing noise as the tiara snapped in half and Jane fell to the ground. Her Godtier robes rippled, shifting from crimson to beige as the curling vine on her chest turned green. The ghastly hue to her skin faded, as did the odd subtle red glow.

"GG, too easy," Mituna said smugly as he shook off his hands. They were still stained in blue. "Now, I'll wake up your hatchmate-"

"She isn't brainwashed," Rose said quickly.

"Nah, she's just asleep," he agreed. "And don't worry, I've shocked John awake enough times to know how it works, and he's one fucking heavy sleeper. I'm not going to hurt her."

Rose quickly went to Jane's side, the other girl confused but letting Rose check over her quickly, as Mituna prowled forward "Hi, I'm Rose. Roxy's ectobiological mother/daughter. You're John's Nanna, aren't you?"

Jane looked confused but nonetheless replied, "I um, yes. Hello. I'm Jane Crocker, a pleasure to meet you. Just what has happened? I have a cracker of a headache and my mind is like scrambled eggs. Most I remember is going Godtier."

By the time Rose explained all the events that had happened Mituna had all but electrified Roxy awake. The colourful cursing cut Rose's synopsis short and she looked up in time to see Mituna easily catch a small fist aimed at his face.

"Settle down, your alien ass is fine. Oi, catch," Mituna said before chucking Roxy at Rose and Jane.

There was some startled shrieks, especially when Roxy's impact nearly knocked them over the side of the broken house and down into the lava. Mituna just raised his hand and yanked them all back over from the edge, sending them all sprawling onto the ground him front of him.

"Janey! You're not evil and crazy!" Roxy said happily. "And look! It's my teenage mum, Rose! Isn't she great? Group hug! Hey, Rose! I'm Roxy!"

A moment later Rose was indeed in the middle of a group hug, and she found herself clinging back to both Jane and Roxy.

"Hello, Rose," Rose heard Jane say, her face pressed against Roxy's hair. "I hope I wasn't too much of a bother while brainwashed and crazy. Same for you, Roxy. I really wasn't myself."

"No it's fine, it was mostly Jade I was dealing with," Rose pulled away, trying to ignore the way Mituna was looming over them with his arms crossed. "And this is Mituna. Jane, Roxy, he's um, he says he's a friend."

"Wowee, you're a big fucker," Roxy said, staring unabashedly. "Yikes, you fuck up that smug blue troll then? You look like something out of a slasher movie- Hey, you got Callie's ring on!"

"And I'm keeping it on," he replied, waging his fingers where a plain golden ring sat.

Roxy bristled, "I need it for Callie!"

Mituna bared his long teeth at her, his expression far more frightening due to the teeth and blood, "Your friend is dead, a ghost right? Is she some grand fighter or some shit? Some exemplary warrior?"

"Well um no-"

"Then I'm keeping it. And once we kill all these annoying fuckers making a mess I can give it to you for your friend, John already told me about her," Mituna said in a stern tone. "Until then, I'm keeping it. Okay?"

Roxy looked like she was about to argue until Jane nudged her arm, "Roxy, it's okay! I spoke to Callie when I was knocked out. She's fine! Me and Jade and her, we all played dress up and-"

Jane abruptly stopped, her expression becoming ashen. Roxy shook her shoulder in concern, "What? What happened? Oh shit, did her bro find her ghost?"

"No, it's not that, it's-I think Jade's dead," Jane blurted. "Oh no."

Mituna blinked once, "What?"

There was a dangerous edge to his voice, that made the hairs on Rose's nape go on end.

"I can fix it," Jane assured them, either ignoring or oblivious to Mituna's stare. "I can bring someone back to life with my Godtier powers, it's part of me being the Maid of Life. But I don't know where she is! Or um, her body? I think these strange winged dogs came and took her from where she had been crushed under the house? Then some odd harlequin jumped me? I think? My dreams are just barmy, good gravy."

"That'll be Jack Noir and that female carapacian, the two winged dogs," Rose said grimly, hand still lingering on Roxy's arm. "Jack Noir was the one who killed my mother in my session, and Dave's brother and John's dad. There's probably a Jack in your session too. Ours was prototyped with Jade's dog, who is a First Guardian."

"There was!" Jane got to her feet shakily, Roxy supporting her. "Myself and Jake, we were accosted by a frightful fellow with these flashing eyes and a crowbar. Then Jade appeared and zapped him away but I'm not sure where. Then everything got so foggy after that."

"She zapped Dirk away too, to the outer ring," Roxy said. "After she punched him in the face when he tried to attack the batterwitch. She was crazy when she did that, though."

A low hiss from Mituna, "Where is that fucking pink bitch?"

Even Roxy looked taken aback with the sheer hatred in Mituna's voice, the psychics flickering around his body flaring with his words, as she hesitantly replied, "Um, I, I don't know? But we still need to treat this crazy Jack as someone who'll stab us in the back. If we're gonna kill the Condesce then I reckon we need everyone accounted for and shit. Including Dirk and that crazy eye guy!"

"I thought I saw Dirk before, attacking that blue troll who knocked you out," Rose frowned.

"Don't think that was the real him. Long story," Roxy said, waving a hand.

"I'm the fastest, besides teleporting," Mituna shrugged, but there was a vicious, wild edge to the gesture that made Rose tense. "Got a direction of where this Dirk and weirdo Jack guy is? I'll deal with those two, while you guys find and resurrect Jade. You can make someone else invisible, can't you?"

Roxy nodded slowly, "Well yeah but..."

"John met that white carapacian before, he thinks she's friendly and the Jacks won't harm Jade," Mituna continued. "You rez her and then just kill that shitty Jack and take his ring. The white one will help."

"If she wakes up she'll be controlled again," Rose warned.

"Nope, not with this."

Rose blinked as she was offered a headband; silver with fluffy, pale blue rabbit ears poking up from it. She took it in confusion.

"It's like mine," Mituna said, pulling down his goggles to point at a headband with his symbol. "It's basically the opposite of the tiara you had, Jane. Stops mindcontrol. Jade made a bunch for me, since she knew I was paranoid. Huh. Turns out I wasn't, guess the Doomy feelings paid off for once. Anyway, get that on Jade and it should stop that bitch's mindcontrol. Actually, take two- give it to the white Jack, maybe? Jade had a bunch of surplus in her house when she made mine."

He handed another one over, this one looking as if it had been made of flesh. Rose took it.

"I'll go grab Dirk and kill that other Jack. You lot go and find Jade, resurrect her," he instructed.

"There's also Gamzee and Terezi down there, I need to see if I can break up that fight while Jane and Roxy go. I don't want anyone dying," Rose said.

"Oh fuck those two, let those highblood trash kill each other," Mituna waved a dismissive hand, a few droplets of blue blood flicking off the tips of his claws. "Why'd you care?"

Rose just stared at him since...well, limiting the body count seemed a basic, decent thing to do? She and Terezi were never friends, barely acquaintances in all honesty. And Gamzee she had only met a handful of times. Yet still, she didn't want them beating each other to death.

After a moment Mituna turned around with an annoyed huff, "Alright fuck it, I'll fix this. You damn humans and your bleeding hearts."

He lifted up his goggles and then a great beam of light exploded from his eyes, blue and red and blasting across the air like a great javelin of lightning. It struck the collapsed house down below where Terezi and Gamzee were, a massive explosion rocking the air and sending lava and debris flying in all directions. It was powerful enough Rose actually felt the shockwave ruffle her robes, and she couldn't even see if the two trolls got blown aside or vaporized as a new crater abruptly formed down below. Next to her, Roxy swore.

He turned to Rose, a big grin on his bloody features, "There, problem solved. They ain't fighting anymore. We good?"

"Yeah no shit," Roxy bristled, only calming down when Rose laid a hand on her arm.

"That's fine," Rose said tersely.

"Whatever. You girls go fetch. Hopefully this Dirk isn't a fucking loser like Davesprite when I nab him. Also Nannasprite is around here somewhere, she's got some healing powers so maybe we could use that. Then it'll be that fuckin' pink bitch's turn."

With that last remark Mituna was gone, so quickly it was if he disappeared in a flash of light. Rose shivered, the sheer hatred in his last words shaking her. It was as if his powers had been digging into her skin, clawed and vicious in a way that it scared the primal part of her brain.

"Um, he's quite a colourful chap," Jane said awkwardly, hands clasped to her chest.

"Seems like a dick but he's right, we got shit to do," Roxy said grimly. She turned to Rose, taking the Seer's hand and flashing her a smile, "Like I wanna just sit down and gab my ass off with you, learn more about you and everything. But-"

"Our friends need us," Rose returned the smile, squeezing Roxy's hand. "When this is over, we can talk for as long as we need. But you and Jane, go find Jade. I'll go grab Jade's grandpa, and let Karkat and Kanaya know what's happening. Then we'll meet up again, get rid of Jack Noir and then we can regroup and focus on the next threat."

"Jakey! Yeah, he's a total nerd and a sweet dumbass, just ignore those undies he's wearing," Roxy cackled. Jane looked flustered but otherwise didn't say anything as the Rogue grabbed her hand. With a final wave both Roxy and Jane vanished from Rose's sight.

She felt the sting of tears but forced them back as she took off across the magma lake with her hands in hand. To have her mother so close- but no, they had shit to do. And thus shit was done.

Dave

The murder dogs were fast but Dave was hot on their heels, even as green fire spread through the forest of Jade's Land. As more of the woods went up in flames, it became a mix of emerald greens and vibrant oranges. Dave was only lucky that smoke inhalation didn't seem a threat- then again, Godtiers could breathe in a vacuum so he guessed dying from suffocation wasn't a thing anymore.

Dave didn't really get why the prototyped dogs weren't just teleporting like Jade had done when she was yelling at him earlier, but nonetheless followed them as they went up and up and up the massive pillar on Jade's Land until they reached the quest bed there. Dave wasn't too sure about the white dog- a prospitian -as the Mayor hadn't told him about any friends of his who'd been prototyped even if the little guy had given them all the details on his own life leading up to the universe exploding. He hoped the Mayor was alright, where Dave had left him on LOHAC.

He hesitated at the lip of the tower, watching at the how the pitch black Jack was holding Jade's inert form in the crook of its lone arm. He had no idea where that crazy cat had run off to, but it seemed the dogs were trying to revive Jade using her quest bed for some reason. Whatever, John's grandma/daughter said she could revive Jade even while evil and controlled so all he had to do was nab Jade's body and bring her back. In the distance he could hear something akin to thunder.

Darting forward, Dave punched the nearest dog in the face and making it drop Jade. She looked like a doll, sprawled out on her quest bed from where she landed with a thud. Hair a back mess beneath her shimmery Witch's dress, expression slack. It was almost as if she were a asleep and inwardly Dave was thankfully the Game kept corpses in presentable pieces- otherwise Jade would've looked like a hamburger, after having a house thrown on her.

Then he had no more time to think about the well put togetherness of corpses of Sburb when both dogs lashed out at him with their swords, the curved blades spitting sparks as he blocked it with the Caledfwlch. Both of their muzzles were wrinkled into volatile snarls, their bodies and faces clones of each other even as Dave jumped into a defensive position.

The fight was vicious and quick, Dave feeling hindered by using a double bladed weapons since katanas were just so much cooler. But the welsh sword was chiming each time he struck aside one of the Jacks blades, metal scraping and sliding against one another as he was forced backwards by both of the dogs. Stab, slash, parry- then his heel knocked into the quest bed.

And then Dave gave a briefest of glance over his shoulder, and faltered when he realized Jade's body was no longer on the quest bed.

It was empty.

Where-

Only for two swords to pierce his body, one slicing through his back and another cutting deep through his chest. Dave's hand spasmed, dropping the Caledfwlch with a clatter as blood dripped down his arm while more rapidly stained his Godtier outfit. He lurched with a choked gasp, the snarling muzzle of the dog monster in front of him the last thing he saw before he toppled towards the ground.

Then there were a pair of arms grabbing him just before he struck the stone face first, even as there was an angry shout behind him.

Terezi

Everything hurt.

A lot of it had been from the beating Gamzee had given her; bloody gaps in her mouth from where her teeth had been punched out, a hideous bone-deep ache in her stomach, and feeling like her thinkpan was going to fall out of the bloodied back of her head. Then there had been that blast- Terezi hadn't know what it was, since she was too disorientated from the repeated blows to the face, before there had been so much light and fire and cherry and blueberries and then she had been hurled aside as flames scorched her limbs to go crashing into the nearby forest.

Now she was lying on the ground, curled in on her side and unable to move. Oozing burns covered her arms, her shirt had been partially burnt away with some of the fabric melted into her skin in a crispy fusion. From the smell and agony, Terezi doubted her legs were any better. She wasn't even sure she was wearing shoes anymore. The tree she had crashed into had splintered, sharp spikes of wood having sunk into her thighs and back to keep her partially impaled. She was bleeding profusely, Terezi was quite sure. But the puncture wounds were background noise to the searing agony of the burns.

Curled up, body shaking in agony and all alone except for the soft hum of the tiny birds, Terezi had no idea what she was doing. She didn't even know why she had gone to fight Gamzee either. At first it felt right, to blindfold herself and go attack him, to lash out at him for everything he put her through. But he didn't even defend himself despite her screaming, and then when he had snapped from his strange daze he proceeded to thrash her so badly she couldn't even fight back.

She was such a loser. Why did she ever felt she could win? Why did she ever felt like she could change anything?

Then again, trying to kill Gamzee hadn't been Terezi trying to change anything. Who knew getting a high amount of your skin burnt off would bring such clarity. It reminded her of when she was blinded; the shady trees had helped, but Terezi had still been severely burnt by the time she regained consciousness and crawled into the shade. She basically lived inside her recuperacoon for weeks until her skin was no longer blistered and peeling.

Now though she knew attacking Gamzee had just been her way of lashing out. Killing him wouldn't have done anything, not overall. Instead Terezi just wanted to not feel useless anymore, wanted to act rather than wallow and sit like she'd done for three years. Wanted to fight off the shame weighing her down. Shame for killing Vriska. Shame for letting her eyes be healed. Shame for being so useless. She wanted to rip and claw at something, make something bleed and suffer like she did. She just wanted to do something.

Instead all she had done was get a beating and then blasted off into the woodlands somewhere, so injured she couldn't even call for help. Instead all she could do was twitch and shudder.

Even now with the blindfold her nose and the colours weren't as sharp as it had been. She had listened too much to Aranea and then lost her last connection to her lusus. She had been manipul8d one last time.

There was an idea to try and get up, to try and understand why she had smelled Aranea before, why the dead cobalt was suddenly in the middle of so much drama, but the pain and emptiness felt too much. She was such an idiot. Her powers were of no help. Both she and Rose sucked, Seers completely useless at seeing. Terezi wasn't even decent in a fight anymore- instead she went and started quadrant drama because she was a failure of a kismesis as well. She didn't even bother trying to actually help them finish the Game, too caught up in her personal problems. She should just lie there and die.

A hummingbird fluttered past her head, wings a soft current against a burnt spot on her skull. Terezi was pretty sure most of her hair had been burnt off and probably a portion of her horns. She tried to bat at her skull, only to groan as her burns flared angrily at the movement. She wanted her lusus.

Across the forest Terezi could feel a distantly familiar scent but couldn't bring herself to move. Even twitching her fingers made her hiss, the skin blistered and cracked as clear fluid dripped from her various burns to the grass below.

Then the smell grew stronger; something familiar but all Terezi could think of was the pain and how empty and useless she felt. Why did she ever bother changing anything? She just fucked things up and made it worse. Like when she killed Vriska. How could she even think the vision was right? For all Terezi knew it hadn't even been a Game vision, it had just been herself making stupid decisions that led to other people dying because she was a selfish, short sighted idiot-

A flutter of wings, far louder than the hummingbirds, and suddenly Terezi realized someone was there right next to her. Someone familiar, their scent of fresh plums filling her nose.

"...Dia?" Terezi managed to croak. Her tongue was blistered, only tasting bloody pain as her nose twitched. Blood oozed from her cracked lips.

"It's okay, we're here," and it was Aradia. Her friend. Terezi hadn't realized how much she had missed her until then. Playing against Team Charge seemed so many lifetimes ago.

The sugary sweetness of Aradia's wings batted aside the scorching red throbbing through her pan, and Terezi felt the gentle touch of telekensis. She hummed at the sensation, the horrible ache of her burns twitching as the telekensis carefully levitated off the ground so her injures weren't jostled as she was tugged out of the splintered remains of the tree and seared earth. Terezi barely flinched when Aradia started to pull the shards of wood from her wounded body.

Then another voice suddenly spoke, far less gentle and having a heavily familar scratchiness to it, "Holy fuck, TZ, what the shit happened?!"

Sollux. Wow, Terezi also hadn't realized how much she missed that snarky little ass. She tried to move, ignoring the agony of her body as she sniffed in the direction of a certain angry mustardblood.

"Hee hee...App...."

"Yeah yeah, I'm Appleberry Blast. Gold star for the half dead dumbass. And you're all burnt to shit, basically a messed up slice of grilled grubloaf over there. The fuck did you do, jump in the lava? Didn't you learn anything from all those times you were on KK's shitty Land? Damn, you really are blind."

She just waved a hand, before letting out a strangled noise as her limbs flared in agony.

"Cut that shit out, your arm looks like it's gonna fall off. Alright, let's pull that one out of her back first-"

"Okay. Terezi, just hold on. We need to get the broken pieces of wood out first before we can do anything else. We'll try to be quick!"

Terezi could hear the smile in Aradia's voice and let out a hum of acknowledgement. Then nearly screamed as the energy yanked at her, the long splinter of wood pulled out from her back. She felt something twist inside her with the movement and only Aradia's psychics kept her from thrashing in an effort to escape.

"Sorry, there's just a bit more. Sollux can you grab that-"

A strained scream as Terezi felt the coils of psionics slither into her dripping wounds, yanking out the sharp splinters of wood as Aradia held her tight despite her determined attempts to squirm. Some pieces of her burnt skin peeled off as the splinters were pulled out but that was background pain as she let out small pathetic grunts.

"All done," Aradia's voice was very cheery despite the gory mess, something Terezi found herself clinging to even as the rust called out, "Nannasprite!"

"Right here, dearies."

There was a shift of air and something smelling of a blueberry candy and cookies, and then blessedly cool mist swept over Terezi's body. She twitched, feeling the puncture wounds slowly and steadily close up. Could feel the burns smooth over, the skin shifting from blackened and cracked to smooth grey. Her hair grew back, as did her teeth. Her clothes had also fixed themselves; Terezi was very thankful for Game mechanics. Her tongue was wettened and when she licked at the air she realized it was a sprite that was healing her. John's sprite, the dead grandlusus one that was part clown Terezi remembered smelling through the portals and now Terezi could smell her just as clearly.

On either side of the sprite were Aradia and Sollux; Aradia, all bright warm cherry reds without the sharp edges Karkat possessed, and fluttering sugary wings that made Terezi drool. And Sollux, Appleberry Blast himself, and one eye ghostly white like slightly-off lusus milk and the other black like rich liquorice. Wow, Terezi didn't realize how much she missed those two.

So the moment the sprite pulled away, healing complete, Terezi leapt up and yanked the two in a hug, her tongue happily lathing across their faces, "It's great to smell you weenies again!"

"Oi TZ, fuck off! Your breath stinks!" Sollux immediately started yelling and attempting to squirm away, making Terezi cackle. She was glad for the blindfold, which hid the wetness of her eyes.

Aradia meanwhile hugged her right back, laughing brightly, "It has been a while! We actually got an invitation from John, if you can believe it."

Terezi pulled back, even if her hands remained on either of their shoulders, her face scrunching, "That nerd? He's got some weird new power."

"Oh yeah, I was there when he stuck his hand in a house juju and vanished," Aradia's smile was so white Terezi could smell all the individual teeth. "That was so fun! Then I went and chased Sollux down and made him come with me. We just got here when he stopped being blind and is now only half blind. Then we found you."

"Yeah bet I was a shitty sight, I'm not even sure what happened," Terezi frowned. Only remembered being beat up and then everything exploding. But who or what Terezi had no idea.

"You were covered in psionic burns," Aradia said. "I've seen my first death enough times in the bubbles to recognize them. Was it the Condesce who attacked you?"

"No, far as I know she flies around in that old ship of hers and I heard nothing like that," Terezi answered. "Besides, she'd stink so bad I would've smelled her even in the middle of a fight. I dunno who hit."

"Come on AA, we know it was my crazy-ass ancestor who did that," Sollux said.

"Well I doubt it, if anything it was probably a misfire," Aradia said, still smiling widely. "If he got along with the humans for three years then I doubt he'd just attack anyone."

"He hates highbloods, wants them all dead. That squishy idiot told us as much. TZ is teal enough."

"Oi that teal is right here," Terezi said, playfully hip checking Sollux despite the curiosity nibbling at her limbs. "What are you talking about?"

Sollux looked at her, half blind and half alive, "My ancestor, the Imperial Helmsman, is for some fuckin' reason alive and was hanging out with the other humans that weren't on the meteor."

Terezi sniffed, but couldn't smell any deceit, "Soooo, sorta like the Condesce? Didn't she only escape getting Glubbed to death 'cause of being a tyrian? Everyone else in the empire died when Alternia got destroyed and now she's Lord English's little barkbeat."

He grimaced, "Not him, apparently. He hitched a ride through the Fourth Wall somehow-"

"The Demoness!" Aradia laughed, her wings fluttering. Terezi wanted to lick them so bad.

"That's hoofbeastshit and you know it," Sollux huffed. "And who the fuck cares how, all we know is my pissed off ancestor is stomping around this session and he fucking hates highbloods, or anything over a Jade. So that's you TZ."

"Aw, but what about my engaging personality? We could be friends," Terezi teased, even if inwardly her mind was going miles a minute. Another adult- and considering the Condesce had turned Jade in her little pet and had all those crazy powers of every bloodcaste Terezi wasn't sure how this new one would turn out. Especially since he'd already blasted her ass so easily, and the sheer strenght of whatever had hit her was beyond absolutely anything Sollux had ever been able to summon.

Or maybe he was controlled by the Condesce, like what happened with Sollux and Vriska.

Terezi shoved those thoughts away; she didn't want to think about Vriska right now, but it did remind her that for some reason Aranea was skulking around. Alive, for some reason. Alive and meddling. Wait, maybe she was controlling the big Sollux? Darn, that would be a right pain. Where were all the godly humans when you needed them. Terezi vaguely remembered Dave yelling at her back when she first attacked Gamzee and the yellow human when she was getting beat up but then everything was exploding and a tree was trying to kill her. She was unsure if that would be a Just death for an alien, just randomly being exploded.

Then she heard the distant shift of leaves, someone heading through the underbrush towards them. Terezi shifted, pulling her nunchucks from her strife deck since she still had no idea where her sword had gone, and stepped forward to meet the newcomer in case it was a crazy clown or cobalt. Only to relax when their scents difted past, safe and familar.

Aradia at her side brightened, waving a hand as she hollered, "Karkat, Kanaya, over here! It's so good to see you guys again!"

Roxy

Roxy had barely became tangible before her teenage cross-dimensional son(?) got stabbed to death in front of her. Her shriek was equal parts surprised and furious, before her fist collided with the nearest dog monster. Right in its inky black muzzle, knocking it backwards as she scrambled to grab Dave before he hit the ground. Blood soaked through her Rogue sleeves even as the black dog twisted back around to face her with a vicious snarl. It pounced forward, bloodied sword in hand, and Roxy barely had time to think she maybe should ramp up her invisible powers against someone leapt in front of her, their body between her and the black dog like a living shield.

Someone with long hair that went past their waist, with stripy tights and sparkly red shoes. Nice, Janey had managed to rez Jade after Roxy nabbed her corpse before she had intended to jump into the dog fight.

Roxy watched as, rather than a gun or hammer or any type of weapon, Jade was brandishing a rolled up newspaper in one hand. Swinging it like a club, she struck the black dog monster hard across the face with a mighty whap.

"No, bad! Bad dog!" Jade shouted, the fluffy rabbit-eared headband clashing oddly with her already existing fluffy dog ears. "Bad dog, you're a bad dog! Stop it!"

Roxy had no idea why the newspaper was so effective, since both the black and white winged dogs were cringing away, but her gaze dropped down to their hands; each were wearing a glowing golden ring, dotted with four gleaming white orbs. Right, the rings. They had to nab the rings, or at least the one from the black dog if John was right about the white being friendly. Roxy wasn't sure how accurate that was, considering she had just watched the white one help knife Dave, but whatever.

Dragging Dave's body back, Roxy watched as Jade beat the two dogs back with decisive blows of the newspaper. Then Jane was there, looking normal and not red and crazy, and with only a brief look Roxy handed Dave over to her. Jane could rez him while Roxy helped with Jade, they needed to get the ring from the black dog if Mituna was correct.

Mituna was another can of worms Roxy was intensely curious about, since she knew there were little baby trolls running around but another grown-ass one caught her off guard and made her leery. Even if he did apparently mess up that blue asshole troll who had stolen Callie's ring and knocked her out, so Roxy was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Her fists clenched, body going intangible as she leapt forward; her goal was the ring, and with the black dog distracted maybe life would give her a break and she could just yank it from his creepy little paw and depower him. Maybe. Dang, she missed Callie. She'd know all about that Game mumbo jumbo.

Either way Roxy lunged for the ring, figuring she could sort out those questions later. Going straight through Jade who was still shouting and beating the black dog around the head with her rolled up newspaper while the white dog hovered backwards uncertainly. The white dog didn't seem hostile anymore now that Jade was alive, so Roxy chose to ignore it.

Roxy barely got within arms reach of the black dog when its nostrils flared, white eyes darting towards her- no pupils, but Roxy had grown up with carapacians. She knew their tells and therefore had enough warning to leap to the side to avoid getting her arm severed by the bloody blade.

Crap, it can smell me like Jade could, Roxy bared her teeth; the dog went to chase her but Jade struck it in the shoulder with a shout. It knew where she was in general but it couldn't pinpoint her, Roxy felt.

Using her Void powers, she summoned a barrage of cubes directly over the black dog. While it battered aside them, Roxy saw the great green energy flare from it only for Jade to wave a hand and the flickering stopped.

"No, you're a bad dog! Stay!" the Witch shouted. "You take that ring off right now- Ouch!"

The white dog blurred forth, its feathery wing knocking Jade aside as it attacked the black dog with a furious snarl. The other recoiled, ears flattening against its head and then Jade was smacking it across the side with her newspaper. Roxy jumped forward, scrambling for the ring.

The fight felt more like a wrestling match, with the black dog attempting to teleport away but Jade forcing it back in place even as the white dog slashed at it while Roxy grabbed at the colourful scraps of cloth around its neck as she tried to grab its arm. Her body blurred back into being as she hung on, the only thing stopping her getting fangs in the face being Jade's arm wrapping around her head as a shield. Now Roxy had the Witch of Space hanging off her back like a spider monkey, even if Jade was using her spare hand to brandish the newspaper.

Then Jane stabbed the black dog in the back, her trident barely puncturing its black hide. The dog snarled, flaring green, before the white dog was lopping its arm right off at the elbow.

The high whine turned into a sharp hiss as the black dog stumbled, transforming into a small Dersite. Even smaller than Roxy, making her pause with her fists raised. Then the white dog struck the carapacian's head clean off, sending crimson blood splattering all over. Roxy barely had time to switch back on her intangibility to avoid getting a faceful of it, Jade still clinging to her.

"I've got the ring!" Jane called out, bending down to hastily snatch it up off the ground before she jumped away from the growing pool of blood inching towards her. Dave was next to her, holding into his sword but looking way less dead than before much to Roxy's delight.

With a pleased growl the white dog stared down at the headless carapacian before kicking it over the side of the great pillar and letting it tumble down below. Roxy faded back into being, unsure of where the head went.

"Hi, Roxy!" Jade's voice suddenly barked in her ear, making her jump as strong arms enfolded her in a hug. "I'm sorry I was such an ass to you, throwing you in jail and threatening you and stuff. But I swear, I'm not like that! It was the bark side talking."

"Hey it's cool," Roxy eagerly returned the embrace. "You got brainwashed, just like Janey. It happens."

Jade let go of her, a big toothy grin on her face and wow she was cute, "Sure! It's really great to meet you, though. Have you seen Rose yet? I think I left her on her Land somewhere but I'm not sure if she left. Oh, Jane, Dave! You guys are okay-"

A strangled yelp dropped the conversation, all of them swinging around to see the white dog suddenly bent over on its knees. Bloodied sword on the ground as it clutched at its furry ears and uh oh, its skin was starting to darken to that odd ashy grey even as its eyes began to glow green.

Roxy yanked up the fleshy headband in a panic, "Here-"

A flash of green and it was tucked securely around the white dog's head, just before its ears. The dog ceased its jerking, blinking rapidly before it straightened up. A paw reached for the headband.

"Don't touch that, it's keeping the Batterwitch out of your head," Roxy said.

"Wow I'm glad Mituna's paranoia about mindcontrol came in handy," Jade said, lowering her hand, "Maybe it's a Doom thing?"

"Right, the angry troll guy? He woke me up and broke the evil tiara on Janey. Then he sent us after you and went to go fetch Dirk from where you zapped him away."

Jade blinked, ears flattening slightly. Roxy watched, curious, as her eyes darted up to the dark expanse above them. Her eyes glowed green, head cocked to the side, before she brightened, "Yeah, he just found him! And it seems like he killed that other Jack? The one with the flashy eyes, and he's with Dirk. Mituna will keep him safe! He's really rude at times but he won't kill you without reason."

"I'll uh take your word for it," Roxy shrugged. She turned to the white dog, who was watching them all closely.

Raising her hands, Roxy switched to carapacian- she was more than fluent and the dead form of the black dog meant the white much be a Prospitian. As Roxy mutely communicated with the white dog, Jane had floated over and was hesitantly greeting Jade. Dave looked profoundly awkward, hanging back as the two girls spoke to each other.

By then Roxy was done, turning to the group with a grin, "Guess John was right! PM- she said that's easier to call her -will help us finish the Game. She just had to make Jack pay for killing all her friends. I let her get the down low on mostly what's happening here but she's fine with giving up her ring so we can light the Forge for the frog."

Jade clapped her hands together excitedly, "Great! The tadpole is ready, and we would just need the grist hordes but that would be easy. But before all that, where is the Condesce? I don't know where she is right now, besides on her ship."

Roxy made a face, "I'd say Derse but that got blown all the fuck up. So-"

"Jane! Roxy!"

"Jake? Oooh, Rosie too! Hey, hey!" Roxy leapt up, waving wildly even if both Page and Seer could see her easily as they rose just over the lip of the tower. "You guys are right on time! We beat the dog, Jack, and PM is gonna help us finish the-"

"Uh giant red UFO incoming," Dave's soft monotone broke up the reunion before Roxy could grab any of them in a hug, everyone looking skyward as a huge crimson shape blurred into being overhead.

The hum of engines grew louder and louder, even as Roxy clenched her fists as Jane gasped. Twin low snarls came from the part dogs of the group, even as Jake and Rose landed next to them with matching expressions of apprehension as the Condesce's huge crimson spaceship appeared.

"Ah shit."

Jade

The first thing Jade did was shrink the ship.

One moment it was looming over everything, its silhouette throwing them in darkness, then a moment later Jade was holding the ship in her hand. Its engines sounding like the buzzing of an angry bee.

Jade put it in her sylladex, even if a split second later everyone scattered as a psionic beam came screeching down towards them.

The tower shattered, stone flying in all directions even as her quest bed exploded into bits which pissed Jade off quite a bit. That was hers, the evil fishtroll had no right to blow up parts of her Land. Especially after she had brainwashed Jade and made her hurt her friends.

"I'm sick of this fish lady!" Jade shouted, proton cannon appearing in hand as she floated above the debris. "Let's kick her ass!"

She heard Roxy's shout of agreement but a moment later there was another flare of red and blue above them. This time Jade fired the proton cannon, a beam of energy so bright it nearly blinded everyone. It collided midair with the psionic beam, and the resulting explosion above caused a shockwave that sent everyone tumbling.

Wow, she's a lot weaker than Mituna, Jade thought, fascinated, as she rightened herself. Flying bits of rock shrank into pebbles, harmless bouncing off her. Was it because she had stolen all her powers? Jade couldn't remember if she had asked Feferi if seadwellers had some type of psychics, from what Mituna said it was predominantly a lower caste trait.

Jade gave a quick glance around, noticing how close the white Jack was guarding her. The Jack's pale blade was still bloody but Dave wasn't dead anymore so Jade tried to ignore it. As long as she was a good dog then Jade could sort out everything else. Rose and Jake were further down, Rose with bright needles in hand and Jake with equally bright pistols. Jade had to resist the urge to wave wildly at Jake, reminding herself they could wrap things up later when they weren't in mortal peril. Jane was also there, a large fork in hand with Skaia embedded upon the end of the handle. She was hanging back, with Dave armed and watching the glowing form of the Condesce high above warily.

A part of her wondered where Nannasprite, Davesprite and Mituna were but she had to push them aside as the Condesce shot downwards towards them, golden trident in hand and hair billowing behind her like a storm cloud.

Then there was a streak of rainbow light, that seemed to hum through the air with a ghost of laughter following it. The Condesce easily dodged the blast from Rose and her colourful needles, her glittering gold trident blocking a hail of bullets from Jake.

Next to Jade white Jack growled, before Jade braced herself on thin air and fired the proton cannon again with an almighty boom. This time the Condesce simply dodged, the beam of energy shooting past her. Then the troll was close enough Jade had to put the cannon away; the impact was too high, she could kill her friends by accident if she used it in close quarters.

Swinging up her hands Jade focused her energy, trying to grab hold of the Condesce, only to quickly realized the Condesce posed the same problem Mituna did; that the flickering volatile energy encasing their form made them immune to teleportation. They'd had to kill the evil fish lady the classic way.

Before she could even think of that further the Condesce was right in front of her with a burst of speed. Jade had a moment to realize the Condesce was actually rather short, her horns and hair just making her look way more massive, before the troll lashed out at her. Jade managed to block the blow to her face, feeling sharp talons rip into her arm, before the white Jack was there and slicing forward with her sword. The bloody blade bounced off the numerous bracelets upon the Condesce's arm, even as the troll hissed at white Jack while she snarled right back.

Jade took the opportunity to kick the Condesce in the chest, knocking her backwards in the air even as Jade checked that her headband was still firmly on. She had a strong feeling the Condesce had been aiming for that.

With that in mind, she grabbed onto the elbow of the white Jack before she could chase after the Condesce, who was being fended off by both Roxy and Rose. She tugged the Jack backwards until she stopped trying to chase the troll, "Be careful! She wants to mindcontrol us again! Don't let her get your headband."

There was a another loud bang as pisonics went flying but Jade easily teleported her friends several feet away to avoid the blasts. Below the forest was still partially on fire and a part of Jade was still super annoyed her Land was being damaged.

Then the Condesce was lunging for her again, the tip of her trident bloody, and Jade was doing her best to fend off those long sharp nails. Roxy blurred into being, a hail of green cubes exploding all over the place as another jet of rainbow light streaked past. Dave's sword stopped the Condesce's trident from stabbing Jade in the face and the Witch flew backwards. With a flash of green, one of the small rocks down below near the mountain side was above them and nearly a hundred times its original side.

Teleporting her friends out of the way Jade slammed the meteor-sized rock downwards, smashing the Condesce down towards the great pool of lava below where the shattered remains of the house still lay.

Just as the rock went past the peak of the volcano, the entire thing shook wildly before exploding into thousands of chunks as the Condesce destroyed it.

"Any plans?" Roxy was suddenly at her side.

"Uh, Rose? Can you See anything?" Jade floundered, briefly pausing from where she had been throwing all the chunks of rock back at the Condesce who was batting them aside while her body glowed white.

"We need to keep her away from the forest, fight her on the house," Rose said. "Kanaya and Karkat can't get too close or they'll be controlled."

"Got it!" Jade said and then teleported everyone down upon the house, surrounding the Condesce.

The next few minutes were hectic; Jade hadn't strifed with any of them, unlike how familiar she was with John, but she had to trust in their abilities even as fraymotifs started being thrown about amidst the fighting and blasting. Rose was twisting and jumping with her colourful wands, the rainbow beams almost seeming like liquid light as she flung them around like strings, keeping her distance just like Jake who was focused on his pistols. Roxy and Dave meanwhile were attacking the Condesce up and personal, the sword biting into the troll's side while Roxy's fists and cubes were battering aside her jabs and kicks. Though it all Jane was running around at the edge of the fight, the blue light of her healing closing puncture marks and mending broken bones nearly as quickly as they were made.

Jade meanwhile focused on preventing the Condesce from using her own telekenisis, throwing rocks and wildly alternating their size to keep the troll on guard and also preventing her from getting near Jane as she teleported her allies about during the fight to avoid the jabs of the trident. The white Jack was guarding her, sword held ready and feathery wings flared out.

A pony made of cubes appeared, slamming against the Condesce's raised arms and sending her skidding back across the house. The troll pivoted neatly, swinging the horse and throwing it into the lava surrounding them. Then she spun her trident in both hands, blocking the blast from Rose's needles. Around her was the ripple of rainbow energy and Jade narrowed her eyes, trying to focus intently upon the strange light while still keeping track of the fight.

There was something strange about the light clinging to the Condesce's body; it wasn't psionics, which Jade was very familiar with. Instead it just felt odd, wrong almost, as if it wasn't supposed to exist. But what could that mean? They had to kill the Condesce, they wouldn't be able to free the tadpole and be rid of the horrible Game if she was still there to cause mischief and enslave them.

A great flare of telekenisis and Jade lurched back as the air around the Condesce seemed to vibrate before she hurled everyone away. Jade managed to grab them mid-toss, quickly teleporting them to safety so they didn't end up burned alive in the lava. But by then the Condesce had stormed across the broken building, launching herself at Jade with her features twisted and wild. The white Jack jumped forward, her sword flashing as it slammed between the tines of the trident.

Jade let out a startled shriek as hair enveloped her, tight and unyielding like ropes of metal as the Condesce's wild tresses came to life. White Jack was snarling, trading blows with the Condesce even as Jade strained against the hair constricting around her.

"Piss off!" Jade shouted, before she bit the grasping hand trying to claw at her head. Her teeth punctured through the black swimsuit, digging into the dense skin of the troll's hand. Pink blood beaded up and Jade felt something lurch as the rainbow energy began to flare at her skin. It felt wrong, the part of her which was First Guardian bristling at it, trying to bite at it.

Jade was nearly fully constricted within the Condesce's hair as the troll empress fended off white Jack one handed as her other hand was trying to yank itself from Jade's mouth. Jade snarled around the dense skin, knowing the Condesce would rip the headband off if Jade dared to release her jaws. Jade wouldn't let her, she refused to let herself be a threat to her friends or a liability. The hair tightened even further and Jade could feel her bones beginning to creak, breath halted completely as she failed to draw in air. She was starting to suffocate, loosing conscious-

"You leave my grandmother alone, you vile witch woman! Release her at once!"

Jake's voice was shrill with panic and rage, and then it was if a bomb had gone off. The explosion of white flaring energy tore Jade from the Condesce's grasp, the reek of burning hair filling the end even as Jade was sent flying with flesh still in her mouth.

Rose grabbed Jade just before she went crashing headlong into the lava, the Seer's arms tight and comforting while white Jack instantly flew to Jade's side.

"Are you alright?" Rose asked, eyes briefly flicking down to Jade as she coughed.

"Fine, she was trying to get the headband," Jade wiped at her mouth even as the ball of bright white Hope energy faded. The white Jack's feathery wings were warm against her side.

"This woman just refuses to die," Rose helped Jade upright, stare cold as she focused back on the Condesce who was getting back to her feet several stories away.

Jake's attack had burnt off a substantial amount of her hair, now it only falling to the troll's waist, and there were scorch marks upon her chest and limbs, but otherwise she seemed entirely unharmed. Jake meanwhile was limp in Jane's grip, with Roxy and Dave stranding in front of them protectively.

"It's that rainbow light around her," Jade said, baring her bloody teeth. "We have to get rid of it somehow."

"Hm, I fear you're right. It doesn't seem natural, does it? And for this Game that means quite a lot," Rose said grimly, colourful needles back in hand.

The Condesce straightened up, trident in hand. When she swung around to face Jade, the Witch could see a hairline crack running up her left horn. The Condesce's face twisted up in rage, the pink fins of her face flaring out as she took a step forward.

Then Mituna landed with a roaring crash of pisonics upon the house, energy exploding everywhere to the point Jake's Hope bomb looked like a firecracker in comparison, and smashed a bloodied crowbar hard across the Condesce's face.

John

John appeared on the Land of Frost and Frogs just in time to see Mituna beat the Condesce to death with nothing but a crowbar.

He blinked, grimacing at the amount of blood splattered all over Mituna- blue and red, but now overwhelmingly pink was spraying all over him -and the way the troll was screaming. Great arcs of psionic energy was radiating off him, tearing up the collapsed house they were on even as he continued to beat her head in, over and over and over until all John could hear was the noise of bones being caved in.

Some distance away he could see Jade, looking rather horrified but making no move to stop Mituna. She also wasn't evil anymore, eyes and skin normal, with a headband of fluffy bunny ears. It was rather funny, seeing Jade with four ears. There was also the white Jack, who John had seen back in the dreambubble. She was guarding Jade, sword drawn and dark eyes fixed upon Mituna. But she wasn't trying to kill any of them and John saw no sign of Jack Noir so he guessed they had managed to defeat him.

A quick look around the area and he saw Rose, Roxy, Dave, Dirk, Jane, Jake. Or John guessed that was Jake, just due to the heavy similarities of appearances. Same with Dirk who wore dorky pointy shades and a dorky prince outfit. Still, wasn't as bad as Jake who was just in his yellow undies which made John giggle.

"Guys! And young Nanna! You're not evil anymore!" John greeted brightly.

Jane jumped violently at the address, her eyes finally dragging away from the gory scene of one troll beating another to death, "Oh um, John! Hi, how are you?"

"I'm fine, but it looks like Mituna has the Condesce sorted out. Wow he's really hammering at her," John gave a glance over his shoulder, grimacing slightly. The Condesce wasn't really looking like much of a person. Just a soup.

"It's the crowbar, we were unable to hurt her but the crowbar is unique I can tell," Rose ventured forward. She looked way more sober than John remembered, and she was holding hands with Roxy.

"Yeah when he gets like that we figured to just leave him," John shrugged. "And she's one of the final bosses, a Life player, so I guess we just let him do that? She's evil so whatever. Anyway Dirk- Dirk right? -are you okay? You're all bloody."

Dirk twitched as John drifted towards him but otherwise answered John and haha, he really did sound like Rose, just with a slightly deeper voice, "I'm fine, was sent to the Outer Ring but that troll showed up to fetch me. He had killed our version of Jack, which is why he was covered in blood and had the crowbar. Then he dragged me back here."

"Mituna was being nice," Jade defended.

A shrug, "Considering my only point of comparison for a troll is the Condesce then I suppose so."

"Are you going to pull him off?" Dave asked, trying to act cool but John could see the tiny futive glances he kept giving his brother.

John looked back towards Mituna and- yeah, the Condesce's entire skull had been caved in and Mituna just seemed invested in shredding her body into pieces with his bare hands. The crowbar now lying off to the side.

"Um, alright. Jade, can you help me with that?" John asked.

His sister nodded, before she turned to the white Jack, "You have a friend, right? The Dersite? Dave knows where he is. Dave, why don't you take her to the Mayor? She's the one who teleported him to you guys to be healed, she'll want to meet him again. And me and John can deal with Mituna."

Dave looked extremely hesitant, probably some dumb hero thing where he didn't want to leave them with a raging adult troll but whatever, John spent three years dealing with Mituna's tantrums and they already knew him killing one of them during it wasn't a Heroic or Just death. They'd be fine.

The white Jack stepped forward at Jade's urging, watching Dave expectantly. He tensed slightly, which in turn made Dirk tense, and then it was a Lalonde ripple of concern that made John giggle.

"Seriously we can handle Mituna, he knows us," John said quickly. "He just goes apeshit sometimes, he can't grab me when I'm wind."

"John, that isn't exactly reassuring," Rose said with a frown.

"It is! You can go find Kanaya and Karkat right?" John argued. "We'll deal with him! He's just got a lot of hate for the Condesce, since she like fucked up everything and tortured all his loved ones and enslaved him for centuries. He's just uh letting it out."

"We can handle it," Jade agreed, stepping close to his side. And yeah, her hair had started to go on end from the psionic energy which was always funny.

"Are you sure it's okay to leave you with such a scallywag? He's going right barmy," Jake said, sounding like he was a few moments away from falling asleep.

"It's fine," John said, trying not to yell. Like sheesh, they had it handled. If Nannasprite was there it would be double handled. She was always the best at calming him, John thought it was because she reminded Mituna vaguely of the Dolorosa.

Jade was obviously fed up as well, as a moment later she teleported them to only a few feet from Mituna. Instantly they were buffeted by the wild pisonics and ew, he never wanted to see what a troll's insides looked like. Mituna himself looked incredibly ghoulish, blood and viscera staining his mouth and arms in pink chunks and gore. He looked like he'd crawled out of a horror movie. Yeah, they really needed to calm him down.

Yelling didn't seem to stir the troll from his bloodrage so both John and Jade gave each other grim nods before acting; John turned into the air, quickly swirling around Mituna and buffeting him hard enough it sent him stumbling backwards and off the Condesce's corpse. Steam was billowing up from his exposed eyes, hot enough they'd warped the frames of the goggles resting on his brow. Mituna snarled, his body vibrating with energy as he lashed out with bloodied claws only for them to pass harmlessly through John's body. The moment his arm went wide, Jade crashed into his midriff with her arms and legs gripping him tight.

John solidified enough that he could grab one of Mituna's wrists as he went to claw at Jade. The other hand wielded his hammer, Mituna's sharp knife-like teeth were embedded in the handle a second later. John's fingers only escaping as they turned into wisps before he managed to get a hold of the handle, his hand half buried in Jade's hair.

Bracing himself, both Jade and John held on as Mituna raged. Jade's First Guardian powers were enough to prevent Mituna from flash-frying them both but John could see still the energy skating across his skin and making his hair bristle. Pink blood began to drip down John's hands and arms as he kept a tight grip on Mituna while Jade remained latched around his torso like a limpet.

By the time Mituna calmed down, John's arms ached and Jade had managed to wiggle her hands up into Mituna's curly hair and was patting him in calm, even strokes. Still, never of them relaxed until the volatile energy surrounding the troll had ebbed, into something resembling static energy. Then all at once Mituna sagged, a great gasp escaping him as his body shuddered.

Slowly, John tugged the hammer free and Mituna let it go with a split of bloody spittle. The handle was nearly snapped in half so John tossed aside the broken weapon where it sank slowly into the lava surrounding them.

After a long moment Mituna sat down, flopping down onto the wall of the house still stretched across the pool of lava. John sprawled out in front of him, his skin still feeling tingly even as Jade slid down until she was clinging to Mituna's side. She was still patting his head and John had to wonder if it was like how she would pet Bec.

"Okay! So, that's uh how many final bosses killed?"

Both Mituna and Jade blinked at him before Mituna laughed. It was hoarse and weak, but better than his wild screaming, "Well got that pink bitch and that chess piece guy with the switchy eyes."

"And we killed Jack Noir, so he's dead. I guess that's it besides Lord English?" Jade said brightly despite the pink blood staining her face. John would bet he didn't look much better.

"We can get the ring from white Jack when the guys come back," John said. "Then maybe we can finish this Game. Because I feel like I can't zap anymore? Oh! Mituna, did you get my message about seeing the Dolorosa and little grub Kankri?"

Mituna laughed again, breath still out of sorts, "Yeah. Damn, pity Rosa never mentioned that shit. Would've been wild. The fuck even is this Game and those powers? Thought it was the time shit."

"No, this feels different," John looked at his hands, thinking of that house juju. "It feels like I can change things without Dooming it."

A snort from the troll, "Yeah, 'cause this Game is so shit you need to use console commands to win. What the fuck."

"How about we burn that first?" Jade pointed at the mangled form of the Condesce. "Push it in the lava, just in case."

It took Mituna nearly a minute, and encouraging nudges from both John and Jade, before he seemed to stir from his daze. He stood up, small flickers of energy darting off his form and John felt the small zaps against his arm.

He said nothing as they shuffled over to where the dead troll lay. Mituna raising his hand and splintering the part of the house. Shredding it easily with his psionics until the lava began to seep through and it sank like a ship.

There was nothing said as the house began to sink, the Condesce's body slowly being swallowed by the lava as well. Mituna spat on the mangled body before it was swallowed, burning and then turning into nothing but ash. To the side, Jade waved her hand and the bloodied crowbar appeared in it, before she stowed it safely away.

"Fuck you, bitch. I win," Mituna hissed, glowing eyes fixed upon the lava.

Eventually they made their way off the broken house, mostly because it was all beginning to sink, and were sitting at the edge of the forest. Hummingbirds fluttered around them, Mituna sprawled out with his elbows on his knees and still covered in blood. John and Jade were sitting on either side of the goldblood, just watching the lava ooze about in a glowing lake before them. At least most of the fires in the forest had gone out but there was still the heavy sink of ash lingering in the air. Jade had pulled a few tablecloths from her sylladex and was trying to clean herself off, even chucking one over to John. He tried to scrub the pink blood from his skin, but it had gotten quite sticky. Mituna didn't seem to care about his state.

"Are you alright?" Jade eventually asked.

"I feel...I feel so good," Mituna said, a lazy smile crossing his face.

"Cool," John said since he didn't really know what else to say. Then he brightened, "Oh and Jack Noir is dead! The guy who murdered my dad. So I'm pretty happy about that as well. He can't hurt anyone anymore. We have the two rings now. I'm sure the white Jack will just give hers to us when she finishes reuniting with the Mayor."

"We can hatch the tadpole soon," Jade said, after she put aside her cloth. In the distance John could hear voices in the wind, but they were far away.

"Sure," Mituna said, still sounding dazed.

"I'm kinda glad," John said. "At first the Game was fun but then everyone was dying and then we didn't do anything for three years. It got so boring!"

"I think that's the thing wrong with this Game," Mituna said in thoughtful tones. "Every rule, goal and prophecy is never fulfilled the way it’s supposed to. You guys get all these quests but you fuck it up. Or cheat and fuck it up. Tasks not done, quests failed, prophecies ignored. Like little wonder your sessions were shit back to back."

"We're people, so we make mistakes," Jade said, sounding defensive.

"Nope, you're characters in a video game but you ain't acting like NPCs. You ignore the programming, since Sburb is that- a game but 'cause none of you played it right you had to cheat," Mituna said. "And sure, cheating works but half the time you fuck up the code somewhere. You said the first troll session were so fucking useless they had to do a reset right?"

"Yes," John said slowly.

"And then the trolls ruined their session again by being morons and ruined their frog. Then they also ruined your session."

"That's harsh."

Mituna looked at him and after a moment John conceded. Yeah, the trolls, mostly Vriska with Jack, had really ruined their session.

"And then there's this shit session where nothing happened. This whole Game is so shittily programmed. No one did what they were supposed to do. Except you, Jade."

John shoved at Mituna's shoulder, "Yeah yeah, she's your favourite!"

"Of course she is," Mituna flashed him a grin, flesh still caught between his teeth.

Then the voices grew louder and a group of people burst out of the undergrowth several yards from them, and John recognized them all; Karkat, Kanaya, Rose, Roxy, Jake, Aradia, Sollux and Terezi. Hey, when had Aradia and Sollux arrived? John remembered offering an invite for them to meet up in their session, when he shared Mituna's survival while on the treasure hunt, but he hadn't expected for them to arrive. Sollux also wasn't wearing his doofy eyepatches anymore; instead one was ghostly white and the other black.

Jade had no such reservations, instead jumping to her feet and yanking on Mituna's shoulder excitedly.

"Mituna look, that's your descendant Sollux!" she shouted. "Hey! Hi! Over here!"

Sollux meanwhile took one look at Mituna and immediately tried to dart back into the trees, only Aradia's grip on his arm stopping him from running away.

Sollux

The first thing Sollux noticed about his ancestor was how the psionic was nearly covered head to toe in bright fuchsia blood. The second was all the fleshy pieces stuck between his fangs.

Sollux's attempt to flee into the woods was thwarted by Aradia, who's smile still did not drop. Not even with the human Witch waving excitedly, tugging on Mituna's arm until the adult got to his feet and holy shit he was huge, Sollux would feel himself starting to panic.

"It's okay Sollux," Aradia's warm voice was grounding. "Remember what John said? Mituna won't hurt us."

"You're crazy, why the fuck are we listening to him?" Sollux hissed. He still partially remembered being killed by Mituna as a sprite, even if it wasn't really him then. Getting crushed to death wasn't something he wanted to repeat, even if it meant he got half of his vision returned due to the incident.

Terezi was armed and bristling while Karkat was cringing behind a defensive Kanaya who Rose was looking at with concern as the Jade's skin was now a glowing white. Both the other humans, Roxy and Jake- urgh humans had such stupid names, Sollux hated it -just seemed confused by their reactions. Which Sollux didn't understand why as the adult approached them, with both Jade and John by his sides.

And holy shit, were they holding onto Mituna's hands? Sollux blinked, but his sight didn't change. Both the humans were holding onto the adult's gory clawed hands as if it were the most normal thing in the world. He felt like throwing up. There was so much pink blood.

Logically, he knew it was from the Condesce. But a part of Sollux still balked at having a bloody adult prowling up to him, especially since he could feel how horrifically strong Mituna was in comparison to himself. It also didn't help that Aradia fluttered forward, dragging Sollux along with her, to greet the adult warmly.

"Hi there! I'm Aradia," she smiled.

It took some shaking, and eventually a hard pinch, before Sollux managed to mutter his name and that was it.

None of the other trolls spoke and Rose's expression got even more worried.

"Anyway I'm not evil anymore, guys! As I'm sure Rose already said," Jade chattered happily, still holding Mituna's hand as she broke the silence. "And I'm sorry, Karkat. I'm sorry, Kanaya. I said some really rude things while on the bark side. I didn't mean any of them. I know you guys did your best with the shitty hand you got."

Karkat just tensed even further as they could all feel Mituna's regard running over them, Sollux bristling at the subtle brush of psionics running over his body as the adult literally felt him out.

Kanaya meanwhile managed to say, "Thank you, Jade. I assure you, we were all aware you were not in your right mind and are quite glad you're back to rationality."

John let go of one of Mituna's hands, seemingly ignoring how bloody his palm was, and floated over to where Rose was and started talking about something Sollux really couldn't care less about. Instead all his attention was focused on his ancestor, who was just way too close to him and still had gristle stuck upon his teeth.

Then Sollux jolted violently when Jade suddenly enveloped him in a warm hug, because what was wrong with these humans. A moment later she was hugging Aradia, and as nice as a sight it was a part of Sollux wanted to throw the alien off her. But Mituna's watchful presence made Sollux shrink back; he had no idea if humans even understood quadrants, but the fact John and Jade so easily hung off the tall goldblood made him strongly think his ancestor would beat his face in if he tried to do anything with the humans. So instead he just stood there, back straight and eyes aching.

"So John said you were half dead, is that right?" Jade was suddenly back in his face, all bright smiles and thick dark hair.

Sollux blinked, "Um yeah, sorta. It's a long stupid story. AA's story about being a ghost frog robot is way better."

"Oh wow, did you hear that Mituna? That's the kind of stuff I was telling you about! So many cool things happen in the Game," Jade said, enthused.

"Yeah, don't think they wanna tell me," Mituna spoke with a wry twist to his bloodstained mouth.

"Eh? Why?"

"Jade," the adult's voice cut through the Witch's excitement. A deep, rumbly baritone that sent Sollux's hackles bristling.

She blinked, finally turning away from the group back to Mituna, "What is it?"

"I'm scaring them." He sounded more amused that anything. His smile was wide.

Jade puffed herself up in indignation, "No you're not-"

Then froze when she seemed to realize how all the trolls barring Aradia were reacting to the adult's proximity; Terezi's grip on her nunchucks was so tight tendons were flexed tight against her skin, Kanaya had a shaking grip on her chainsaw with Karkat still firmly hiding behind her, and then Sollux's trembling frame with small sparks of psionics gleaming upon his horns as he struggled to keep himself under control.

Her expression grew distressed, "No guys, it's fine! Mituna is friendly, he promised he wouldn't hurt or eat any of you-"

Mituna's laughter was loud before he ruffled Jade's hair, avoiding her ears- both sets. The Witch blinked.

"Don't worry about it, I don't really care. Anyway, I'm sick of this Game. Why don't we round up everyone?" Mituna said, "We can wrap shit up later. Instead of jinxing our asses if we sit around gabbing."

Sollux tried not to sag in relief too noticeably as Mituna turned away, even if he knew the other goldblood was very aware of him.

Aradia meanwhile just smiled, "He's nice, isn't he? I think we'll be friends."

John

Rounding everyone up was pretty easy; John sent numerous messages rallying everyone back to Jade's house- the part that was still standing at least. As expected, when the white Jack returned it was also with Dave, Dirk, and a little Dersite that was wrapped up like a mummy. Jane also handed over the ring she had safeguarded, and when the white Jack handed hers over she reverted back to her normal carapacian form.

It was strange, how a chess person had caused so much misery in their session. Oh well.

If what Jade said was true, all they'd need to do was throw the rings in the Forge and it would begin the hatching process for the tadpole. Then they could finally finish Sburb and quite frankly John couldn't be more relieved. He just felt tired at this point.

However before he could even start talking about the Genesis Frog Mituna marched past him to go towards the cluster of humans.

"Hey, Roxy."

Roxy immediately turned, flinching slightly as she took in Mituna's gory appearance. He didn't really care enough to wash off the pink, the splatter of blues and red. Just as quickly she shook it off with a cheerful, "Hey troll dude! You sure came in the nick of time to fuck up that batterwitch. What's up?"

"You wanted this?" with a deft movement Mituna plucked a gleaming gold ring from his finger, John belately realizing it was the one Vriska had been hunting for. The life ring.

Roxy gasped excitedly, looking as if she wanted to hug Mituna as he dropped the ring onto her waiting palm. She barely had time to blurt out, "I'll be right back!" before vanishing in a Voidy swirl.

"Huh, guess she knows where she's gotta go," Mituna shrugged before turning to John. "How about you? Those zappy powers?"

"I don't really get it," John shrugged. "But like I said, I think it's sorta like time travel but when I do it, it doesn't Doom the timeline. So this is still the Alpha."

"Well isn't that awfully convenient?" Mituna let out a snort. "Whatever, this Game is so shit I think a dumbshit thing like this is needed- it's so glitchy you gotta use fuckin' hacks just to finish it. Whoever programmed this shit should be killed."

"I think Sburb is more like a force of nature, like the Big Bang," John said.

"It's still fucking shit and incredibly stupid doing it this way. Anyway, enough of this. Just hatch that frog before everything blows up or something. Your luck is so shit I wouldn't be surprised. That's with the rings, right?"

"We gotta wait for Roxy-"

And then Roxy suddenly appeared, with a small green alien in tow. John recognized the alien, since he remembered beating one up while zapping. But this one was wearing a neat little suit and had big green eyes instead of red. He watched as the alien, Calliope, greeted the other Alpha humans happily, including many hugs with Jane. John let the reunion be. He had no idea who Calliope was, but she seemed nice enough and that was good enough for John.

Then came the tossing of the rings, to hatch the Genesis Frog and finish something three years in the making.

And hatch that frog they did.

Throwing the rings into the great volcano Forge so Echidna would release the tadpole after releasing the grist hordes and putting Skaia in place. All in all, a fairly simple process. After all, why drag it out anymore?

The resulting frog was immense, somehow too far away and too close. But by the time the great shudder of Croak was completed, Jade's land had vanished entirely as had all the rest.

Instead everyone found themselves standing upon a platform with the glowing white frog looming high above them and everything else a deep empty blackness. A platform that had a door in the same house-shape John remembered the juju being but this time was a bright red.

But when Mituna laid a curious hand on it, the crimson shifted and warped. This one was flickering, shifting between a deep black and green to a airy blue and aqua. Back and forth, back and forth. Like paint being constantly mixed together. At the same time a door appeared in the lower left square, with a glowing handle and just waiting to be turned.

"I guess the Heirs are what make this session," Rose eventually said, studying the door and its flashing colours curiously.

"Dunno, just felt like I should've touched it," Mituna shrugged. His ears flicked.

Then John realized that it wasn't just the groups he met that had appeared on the platform with the rest of them; Nannasprite had appeared, as had Jaspersprite and Davesprite. There was also an unconscious troll dressed all in purple sprawled out on the ground. And there was the man.

John's heart leapt into his throat as he felt Jade squeeze his hand. John recognized his dad instantly; the neat white suit and tie, fedora and pipe as if he had stepped right out of a 60's sitcom. Even from afar John could smell the familiar scent of tobacco and baked goods.

John felt himself brighten, floating off the floor of platform in anticipation. The man hurried towards him, and John felt his arms come up-

Only for the man to completely ignore him, instead sweeping Jane up into a bear hug which she eagerly reciprocated.

John froze, arms still partially raised until he quickly forced them down as embarrassment burned his face. Why did he think the man was going to hug him? His dad died. John had found his bloody corpse along with Rose, shortly before dying himself. That wasn't his father, he was Jane's. Regardless of how he looked like a clone of John's dad, he wasn't. John's dad was dead, had been dead for years.

A clawed hand patted his head, along with a low hum, "It's alright. Shit happens."

Somehow Mituna's blasé words were better than Jade's sympathetic look. The troll knew about his father, his lusus, and had always been sympathetic. Just as Jade had been. At least no one else seemed to have noticed John's humiliating half baked reaction so he shoved his hands into his hoodie and tried to ignore the embarrassment still prickling at him, shoving the feeling and the anger far down until it was nothing at all. Jane deserved to be happy, he wasn't going to ruin it by being petty and jealous.

Shaking that off, John looked around the platform; everyone was gathered in place, with the door gleaming and warping while the frog towered over it all. Occasionally it would croak, a sound that was felt than heard. A deep drum through his bones and made him feel lighter. John's gaze shifted from the frog to the door upon the symbol, at the way its handle almost seemed to be the same colour as Skaia had been. Time to open it, he felt.

However before John could say anything, Mituna's head cocked to the side and he raised a finger just as John opened his mouth.

"Oi, just wait up before we open that door," he said, and then promptly marched over to where Nannasprite was healing the unconscious purple troll.

Only her angry shout stopped Mituna from killing the troll right then and there, John jolting at the sudden angry radius of psionics that buffested him. And oh right, if the troll was purple that meant he was a highblood. Which Mituna hated with a raging passion.

"You stop that right now!" Nannasprite shouted, her tail wrapping around the purple troll as Mituna attempted to grab him with his psionics.

"Piss off, I'm killing this thing before we drag it into the new universe," Mituna snapped, baring bloody teeth. "I'm ignoring that teal bitch, but if she steps one fuckin' toe out of line I'm ripping out her horns and goring her guts open with them. This little bitch doesn't get a pass!"

Terezi flinched back at Mituna's shouted words, her weapons appearing back in hand. The casual chatter of beforehand was now confusion and fear as Mituna's psionics seized the platform. Jade growled angrily next to John, her newspaper in hand. John was tense but didn't turn into the wind; despite Mituna's shouting, he wasn't attacking Nannasprite. Instead his psionics were coiling about angrily, like snakes made of lightning, but weren't getting close enough to the blue sprite to harm her.

Nannasprite was just as fearless as always, not letting a raging troll shout at her without push back.

"I don't care, you will not murder anymore children Mituna!" Nannasprite snapped, wrinkled features contorted into a thunderous frown.

"Oh fuck off, those sprite things weren't fucking children!" he shouted back, sharp claw jabbing at her. "They were screwed up and dead anyway! I did them a favour, killing their grotesque asses."

"Mituna, just leave the purple troll alone!" John called. Mituna utterly ignored him, so John glanced over at Rose and Dave for some context, "Do you guys know him?"

Rose's features were pinched and needles in hand, but she answered him even if her eyes never left Mituna, "That's Gamzee. He was very elusive on the meteor. I don't know much about him, all things considered."

"Is he a threat?"

"He killed Nepeta and Equius," Karkat snapped, even if he was shaking so hard he was vibrating.

"Yeah and Terezi killed me and Vriska," John shrugged. "Who isn't a murderer out of you trolls?"

"He's got a point, Karkat," Aradia said cheerfully, seemingly unbothered by everything. "I think you're the only one of us who hasn't killed anyone! Oh and Sollux. Though he technically did kill me, but was being mindcontrolled so it wasn't really his fault."

"Leave me the fuck out of this," Sollux said angrily, only for Aradia to kick him in the backside and nearly knock him over.

"That is enough!" Nannasprite's shout was so loud it shut everyone up. "I know you're suffering from so much trauma from your experiences back on that hellish world, but that's no excuse for your actions right now! You already killed two of those innocent sprites who had nothing to do with this- I will not let you kill anymore of these children regardless of your tantrums or bloodlust. Put a sock in it, mister."

Mituna snarled, his eyes steaming, "That purple whore's blood will show, just you fucking see!"

"Then I accept that, and will take responsibility for him," Nannasprite snapped, not even flinching as psionics raked over her ghostly body. "But I will not let you kill him. Enough is enough! Let all this violence just end!"

For a moment John thought Mituna was going to attack her, and braced himself to turn into the wind even as Jade flickered green to his side. Then Mituna exhaled, the psionics seeming to throb with the breath, before abrupt they vanished even if the feeling of static still lingered within the air.

"Fine, keep the little bitch as your pet. But don't come crying to me when he starts eating your fucking wigglers or whatever."

"Of course, I can handle myself. I happen to be quite the wisened old woman, hoo hoo!" Nannasprite immediately brightened as soon as Mituna backed off, as if the yelling match never happened. Her ghostly arm went back to hovering over the troll, blue magic seeping into him as she started to hum.

John and Jade both relaxed, even as Mituna prowled back over and proceeded to act as if the past screaming match was just a normal conversation. John was just glad there hadn't been another fight. He was rather tired of those, John could only yell so much himself.

Jade however brandished her newspaper at Mituna, "Stop being a dick!" she growled.

Mituna gave her the finger and a moment later a newspaper smacked him in the head, "You cheeky bitch-"

Jade easily teleported out of the way, giggling, while John turned into wind just as Mituna gave him a halfhearted swipe followed by a playful insult. Everyone else looked stupefied by what had just occured but didn't question what happened. After all, what happened in Yellow Yard stayed in Yellow Yard.

"Alright, uh, let's just get this over with," Karkat finally said, voice cracking as he put away his sickles and still looking at their trio as if they were completely insane. "The door is the ultimate reward, so whoever opens it should be the leader of us. That's you, John."

"No, Jade should open the door," Mituna said.

Jade blinked, "Me? Why?"

"'Cause what's the point of this shithole Game?"

"Uh, it's a method of procreation for entire universes," Jade said, as Nannasprite nodded sagely to the side even as she still remained guarding the unconcious troll.

Mituna gave her a crooked smile, "And what's the universe?"

"The Genesis frog."

"Right. And who made this session's one? A perfect one, which the first two troll sessions completely failed to do 'cause they're fucking moronic losers?" Mituna arched a brow, hands on his hips. "And one that could never be made in this shitty session? So who made the Genesis tadpole, which is the actual purpose of the Game? Not fighting and murdering each other, not having idiotic relationship drama. Not fucking failing so badly you need to reload it like three fuckin' times. Who was it?"

"Me," Jade said.

"Exactly. You're the one who achieved the actual objective of the Game, since you made the tadpole and brought in Skaia so this session would work. You should open the door, since you're the only reason this session is going to be won," Mituna said in firm tones.

John didn't even need to think about it before he jumped in, "Yeah he's right, Jade! The whole point of Sburb is making the Genesis Frog. And sure, we all helped but at the end of the day its the duty of the Space player. You're the reason we can even finish it. So you should open the door! It's your right."

Jade flushed, "Um, we're all a team-"

"But you still finished the frog," Mituna pointed out. "And you didn't fuck it up like the stupid-ass trolls did."

To the side John could see Karkat bristle slightly but all it took was a brief look from Mituna and he immediately shut his mouth again. Huh, kid trolls really were scared of adults. Or maybe after see how Mituna beat the Condesce to death they were just scared of him.

"But what about Lord English?" Rose asked.

"What about him?" Mituna said, sounding supremely bored as if he couldn't care less about Rose's opinion.

"We can't just let him run amok," Rose said tersely.

"He's a Game construct."

"And pray tell, how do you know that?" Rose arched a brow.

"Oh the shitty Seer wants to lecture me?" Mituna laughed. "When the fuck have your powers ever come in handy? Besides you getting all fooled to shit by that Scratch idiot? Dumbass."

"Hey Rose is just trying to help," Jade jumped in. "She's right, Lord English is like...the big bad, right? The one destroying everything."

"He's not destroying everything, that isn't how existance works," Mituna snorted, crossing his arms. "He's a Game construct, a Game boss. That's why he's killing those ghosts who are just save points. And what do you do when you get trapped in a battle with a glitchy boss you can't defeat? You stop playing the Game. Move the fuck on and leave a shit review."

"It can't possibily be that simple," Rose shook her head.

"Uh yeah it is, genius. Just because you humans like to make shit overly complicated doesn't mean it has to be."

"You're an asshole," Rose scowled.

"My god, you really are a Seer," Mituna said sarcastically.

"Hey cut it out," Jade said sternly. "We're friends, alright? Don't make me get the newspaper again."

Despite the lack of pupils Mituna rolled his eyes but nonetheless threw up his hands in mock surrender. Rose looked like she wanted to argue further but nonetheless backed down as well, Kanaya close by her side. Roxy just seemed confused from where she stood on Rose's other side, still holding hands with Calliope.

"But maybe it is that simple?" John wondered outloud. "If we just stopped playing the Game, finished it here. I feel like maybe everything will sort itself out, like that Godtier Cherub that was mentioned. Maybe things are already in place, just waiting for us to do our part so they can do theirs."

Jade hesitated before raising her hand, the tiny waterlogged earth appearing above her hand, "I guess so. It's suppose to be a clean slate, right? So maybe that's what it needs. Blow out the gunk of the cartridge, that's what you had been doing. And now this."

"Would you hurry the fuck up then?" Mituna gave her a playful nudge towards the door. "Every time you keep nattering I keep thinking some wild shit is gonna ruin things since you guys have a terrible track record with that. So move your ass!"

"Alright alright! I'm going!" Jade swatted away his hands, making her way to the gleaming black and green door which even as she approached swirled to blues. Everyone parted ways for her, the Witch of Space who made the Genesis Frog holding the universe that awaited them.

John drifted closer, grabbing onto Mituna's wrist as they both watched Jade intently. He wondered what the new universe would be like. He hoped Mituna came with them, for all his crankiness and rude, abrasive attitude he was still a friend. And who knows how much harder everything would have been if he hadn't helped kill a couple of the final bosses all on his own.

Then Jade reached out and turned the handle, the door opening with a brilliant flash of warm light that swallowed them all.