absurdArtisan
Recent bookmarks
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Cliff's Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week (Is Probably Going Better Than Ilya's) by petroltogo
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
15 Apr 2026
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Summary
It figures that even half-way across the world Ilya's dick manages to ruin Cliff's day. The real surprise is that it isn't the only dick involved in this mess.
Featuring an ill-timed outing, a supportive but clueless team trying its best, panicking over Russia's LGBTQ laws, too many group chats, an unhinged 3am brainstorming session on how to get your captain a new citizenship (asking for a friend) and Roz' inability to answer his fucking phone.
Or: Ilya disappears in Sochi. Half-way across the world his team does its best to help. Their best is more than anyone could have foreseen.
Series
- Part 1 of maximal confusion, some believability
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,693
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 757
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- 3,289
- Bookmarks:
- 810
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- 30,599
Bookmarked by absurdArtisan
28 Apr 2026
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Practice holding his own body together makes it easy to drive with only one free hand. She's still crying in his lap and John tries to feel comforted by the hurt-puppy noise instead of panicked. Heinous as it is, hurt means still alive.
(Helen had not made a sound when she had fallen.)
Bookmarked by absurdArtisan
27 Apr 2026
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Hail Mary Counter @hailmarytracker · 12 hrs
Days since last contact with Hail Mary: 9,716
🗨 1 ⇄ 2 ♡ 5It's been nearly 27 years since the Hail Mary departed. When the ISS detects a signal in the far off solar system, hope begins to grow, even as mysteries start to unravel and the universe becomes a little smaller.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 140,936
- Chapters:
- 24/28
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 3,186
- Kudos:
- 10,729
- Bookmarks:
- 3,671
- Hits:
- 251,769
Bookmarked by absurdArtisan
27 Apr 2026
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Operation O Canada, or The Hollander-Rozanov Method of Soft Launching a Marriage by robbinscinquefoil
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
01 May 2026
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Summary
“Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”
“Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”
Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.
In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,858
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 2,916
- Kudos:
- 11,796
- Bookmarks:
- 4,766
- Hits:
- 340,702
Bookmarked by absurdArtisan
25 Apr 2026
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Breaking News: We Like Each Other by prailock
Fandoms: Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
02 May 2026
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Summary
In the offseason, a steamy video of Shane and Ilya dancing at a club goes viral. Already out and married for years at this point, the first husbands of hockey can't believe this is news. For once, it's Shane whose media responses blow it up even further. Ilya’s not about to let an opportunity to compete with Shane go to waste.
Or
The rivalry still hasn't died, they just find new ways to keep it going. Why choose silence when you can choose violence?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,930
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 695
- Kudos:
- 5,821
- Bookmarks:
- 1,813
- Hits:
- 110,011
Bookmarked by absurdArtisan
19 Apr 2026