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Summary
“Why are you sad?” Eddie asked after a few beats of silence. It was earnest and sober. A question he’d never ask you if you weren’t alone together. In the dark, together.
You hated that he’d seen it within you. But how could he not have?
“I’m not,” you whispered, and Eddie didn’t believe you, but pulled you closer in response.
“Go to sleep, you look like you need it,” you didn’t want to talk anymore. One of Eddie’s hands searched to find one of yours to grab onto. To squeeze. And he would’ve kissed you if he hadn’t been so tired.
“Is it the memories?” Eddie asked the darkness that surrounded you, revealing he still knew you better than you knew yourself. Memories had their way of rearing up and sinking their teeth into your present, and you hadn’t yet figured out how to not let them hurt you.
Just to put the matter to rest, and because you didn’t want to lie to Eddie, you agreed. “It’s the memories.”
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Eddie needs Hawkins and his old friends to ground him every couple of months. He visits for a few days in the middle of December and lets all of you pretend you’re momentarily back in ‘88, and it’s beautiful, but it hurts. A lot.
or: Eddie has issues and uses you to fix them.