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“Hello, Bren.” The familiar, nauseating voice rang through the tower. Caleb heard nothing but the sounds of footsteps and a loud ringing, drowning out the sound of his friends fighting valiantly against his old schoolmates. The tower was cold, familiar. Everything was familiar, familiar, familiar.
Caleb felt himself sinking. He wanted to throw up and he wanted to choke on it and die.
“Caleb! We need you here!” The sound of Beau’s urging snapped him out of his trance. He moved to cast, he hadn’t even begun speaking and it was over, counterspelled and stolen.
Ikithon stepped forward. Each nauseating slap against the pavement felt like a fate sealed.
Ikithon kept moving. Caleb swallowed vomit and readied a spell. He took stock of his surroundings: Beauregard, Caduceus, and Yasha all had eyes on him, though their hands were full with Eodwulf. Jester, Fjord, and Veth were fending off Astrid but keeping track of Trent. Essek was behind him.
Essek was behind him.
Caleb’s mind immediately went to the worst outcomes, most of which included Essek dying a painful death. No.
He moved to protect, but when his eyes found Trent, Caleb realized he had instead moved to kill. It happened in a blink.
Trent saw and struck. Caleb braced himself for the dark. Essek cried out in his place. The fights around them seemed to freeze as Caleb watched the Disintegrate rip through Essek’s core. Essek choked on his own blood, a noise that would haunt Caleb forever, then locked eyes with Caleb. He collapsed into a small heap on the floor, unmoving. Lifeless.
Caleb screamed. There was fire, then silence.
Trent lay dead and charred on the ground.
Astrid lay dead and in a heap on the ground.
Eodwulf lay dead and broken on the ground.
Around him, the Nein tended to their wounds, some of which were burn wounds. Caleb’s hands ached.
“Hey, Caleb. Mind if I take care of those for you?” The firbolg’s calming voice felt like aloe. Caleb just stared at him, mouth dry. Caduceus went ahead and healed him anyway. Caleb hadn’t noticed how the fire had licked up his own arms, twisting his skin into a mess of blood, ash, and heat. But that was okay. It was over. It had to be.
He refused to look behind him. The others hadn’t seen the drow’s lifeless form yet, or they hadn’t cared. They would look soon if they hadn’t; Caleb noticed Jester was taking count of everyone now that the major injuries were attended to. He watched the confusion enter her expression as she came up short one, then the fear and horror as she recounted.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
“Guys, where’s Essek?” A panicked question, and even more panic as they all realized.
Caleb still refused to look behind him, just pointed. Maybe it was nothing, maybe there was no one, maybe Essek had fled. It didn’t have to be real if Essek had fled. Please, gods, let Essek have run away. Please-
“Oh, gods. Essek!”
“Oh fuck.”
“Shit.”
“Oh. Oh no…”
“Well fuck.”
“We’re gonna need a diamond.”
Caleb looked behind him. And he saw.
The figure slumped on the ground hardly looked like Essek. It was pale and bloody and far too limp to be alive. He isn’t alive. He isn’t alive, and it’s because Trent killed him. Essek isn’t alive, and it’s because Caleb let Trent know he cared. Essek isn’t alive and Caleb is the one who killed him.
Caleb looked behind him and screamed.
-
“Caleb! Caleb wake up. Look at me, wake up, Caleb. Oh for Light’s sake-” The sound of ringing and panic began to fade, replaced by soft snoring and even breathing. The sight of death and fire faded into Essek’s face, soft, sleepy, and so, so alive. “Ah, there you are. Are you alright?”
-
Essek suddenly found himself with an armful of one very distressed human. This was… concerning, but Essek simply pulled Caleb close. It was all he could do.
He had no idea what Caleb had been dreaming about. Essek had been mid-trance when suddenly he heard his name. Curious, he had blinked awake only to find everyone was still asleep. Then he had heard it again, heartbreakingly distressed this time, from next to him. That’s when he noticed Caleb. Shaking, with tears running down his cheeks.
Essek knew nightmares. He had an influx of them nowadays, but when he was younger, Verin had them most nights. Essek used to sing to him to get him to calm down. On the worst nights, he had to wake his younger brother up, make the excuse that he wanted water from the kitchen but was afraid of the dark as Verin’s pride wouldn’t allow aid, and stay up as long as necessary till Verin announced he was going back to bed. Essek had spent many nights sitting awake until the equivalent of Rosohna's morning hours. (When the cooks came in to make breakfast and shooed them out of the kitchen.)
Essek knew nightmares, and so he knew there was a slim chance Caleb was getting any more sleep tonight.
After a couple of minutes, the sobbing turned into a quiet shaking. It was then that Essek decided to break the silence.
“Why don’t we go get some water?”
“Ja.” Essek simply smiled and offered his hand. Caleb took it as he stood, wincing as he did. Essek kept Caleb’s hand in his, acting as his tether to the waking world. Caleb just nodded gratefully. Water was gotten and since tea was readily available, that was prepared as well and promptly pressed into Caleb’s hand after the water was downed.
“I-”
“You do not have to tell me. It helps to talk, for some, but you do not have to.” Essek shrugged and sipped at his tea.
“Danke.” They fell into silence once again. Caleb’s face was scrunched up in a twisted, guilty sort of way. That wouldn’t do at all.
“One,” Essek began, startling Caleb out of his thoughts. “It was a dream. Two, whatever happened in your dream was not your fault, so please do not blame yourself.”
“How-”
“You looked guilty. It’s not that far of a leap of logic.”
“Ah.” The silence resumed. Essek was satisfied to see that the guilty expression didn’t make a return. “You died.”
Well. That was unexpected. “Pardon?”
“That- That is what I had dreamt about. You died and I could not stop it.”
“Ah.”
“It was my fault.”
“I highly doubt that, Caleb.” Essek pushed himself off of where he was leaning against the counter. Leaning down, he caught Caleb’s gaze. “And I am alive, last I checked.” He made his point by placing his hand on top of Caleb’s. “See?”
“Ja. You are.”
“Caleb, I can almost hear that no thanks to me in your voice.”
“Apologies, I just-” Caleb ran his free hand through his hair, tangled from sleep. “I worry that what I have dreamt might happen. Not that exact situation, but I worry you-”
“Well, I will not say that your fears are completely unfounded. We are in a dangerous place with dangerous beasts on a dangerous mission. Any one of us could fall.” Essek watched Caleb’s expression turn even grimmer. “But, isn’t that what we signed up for? I would also say that we have two very talented clerics with us. Jester and Caduceus would not let any of us go without putting up a good fight, I’d say.”
The faint hint of a smile on Caleb's face was a welcome sight. “Yes. You are right about that.”
“As always.” Caleb huffed a quiet laugh. The silence resumed, less tense, more of a calm lull.
“We need to be well rested. I think I will head back to sleep now.”
“Of course. Sleep well, Caleb.” Caleb began to exit the room before stopping and turning back to Essek.
“Thank you Essek, truly. For waking me and for this. Thank you.” He leaned in and placed a kiss on Essek’s cheek. “Rest well.”
As Caleb was exiting the room, Essek placed a hand to his cheek and smiled. “Rest well.”