Chapter Text
-
Sophomore Year - 2009
"Break your neck
And I will love you like a bird that cannot fly
You will be fine,"
And she says, "Break your neck
And I will love you every night
You will be mine"
“Lookit this,” Akarsha said, flashing a poster as she sat down. She was out of breath and puffy as she sat down with the other three at their typical lunch table. The three crowded around the poster, reading its contents.
Oakland High School Homecoming 2009
Friday, September 25th
8:00 PM - 11:00 PM
Tickets: $15 per person.
*STUDENTS FROM ANY JUNIOR HIGH OR COLLEGE ARE NOT ALLOWED*
“Where did you get this? I haven’t seen them around the hallways,” Noelle questioned, looking at Akarsha suspiciously.
“Sayeeda and Grace were hanging them up and I asked them for one. It took a lot of begging but they finally gave them to me. Just the power of my swag,” Akarsha grinned, apparently giddy at the thought of attending a dance with her friends.
“What makes you think any of us would want to attend, shitass?” Min questioned, leaning up against Diya with her arm wrapped around her waist while they read over it again.
Akarsha pouted, looking mock-hurt, “Not even with wittwle ol me?” Min stared at her with disgust, kicking her from underneath the table. Akarsha shrieked and moved to sit on the table.
“That’s so unhygienic, we eat on this, get down!” Noelle screeched while Akarsha grinned and ignored her, moving herself closer to her while turning her head toward the other two.
“Come onnnnn, it’ll be funnnn! We’re homies, remember?”
Diya seemed to be thinking about it while Noelle and Min just looked at Akarsha as if they’d love nothing more than for her to silence herself.
“I don’t know, all those people in the same room would… not be good,” Diya muttered, looking over at Akarsha and Akarsha grinned.
“The gym is humongousized! We can just hang out and dance and jazz and if you get overwhelmed, we can cool off outside. Pleaseeeeeeeee!”
Diya looked at her warily, but seeing the grin on her friend's face broke her down and she sighed softly, “If we can all get away for the night, then why not?” She smiled softly and Min, who looked as though she were about to protest, and watched her as she softly melted under her gaze.
“It’s still in 2 weeks, so I’m unaware of my schedule. However, my parents are in Taiwan for the rest of this month so I should have the availability,” Noelle offered Akarsha and Akarsha grinned cheekily, wrapping the other girl tight in a hug.
“I can always count on you, Frenchie,” Akarsha shouted and Noelle felt herself flush, burying herself in her food.
“My parents probably won’t let me go but if Diya goes, I’m going,” Diya smiled softly at her, kissing the top of her head gently and Min flushed brightly, burying herself into Diya’s shoulder.
Akarsha cheered, almost completely to herself, “We’re going to be the gayest, most autistic group of kids at the dance.”
“I don’t think that’s something to see as an accomplishment.”
“You just don’t understand culture, frenchman.”
Noelle rolled her eyes as the bell rang for the end of their lunch.
-
The four didn’t have baseball practice that afternoon, but with Noelle’s parents out of town in a separate country and Diya’s very well rehearsed lie of studying with Akarsha, they managed to all get out of the house and hang out together at a park (dog park, to Diya’s excitement.)
Noelle sat at a bench with a textbook while Min and Diya were off petting the dogs around them and Akarsha was off to who knows where.
Noelle struggled to focus on what she was reading as she stared at the pale paper in the blinding sunlight. On account of the fact, though she’d deny it until she was in her grave, that it was Akarsha that was distracting her so much.
She had gotten used to the fact that she liked Akarsha in a way that she never imagined she’d like another woman since their Multicultural Week in their Freshman year (before that, though she wouldn’t admit that either). However, she didn’t act upon it, not even while they were hanging out during the summer.
She was scared that maybe she was reading Akarsha wrong and that she didn’t truly like her back. She read through their chat logs when she got bored and her heart would swell every time she saw Akarsha admitting her crush for her but she decided to take it gradually with the other girl. Give her time, give her space, so that she could realize she didn’t reciprocate Noelle’s feelings and Noelle could tunnel them down until she was over her pitiful crush.
(i am not allowed to have feelings. feelings would complicate this. i’m a stupid ugly stuttering asshole, there is no dignity in my anger)
Over the summer, they all hung out together whenever they had the free time and Noelle would be lying if everytime she was with Akarsha, she felt at ease and her heart would soar. She’d find herself itching to grab Akarsha’s hand, doing anything to calm the fluttering in her stomach but she’d settle with the times Akarsha would absentmindedly grab her hand and hold it until she realized what she was doing and would let go.
She sighed to herself. A part of her was hoping that Akarsha would ask her to the silly little dance they had and a part of her wanted to ask Akarsha herself (as friends, obviously.)
Noelle was brought out of her self-pitying though with Akarsha screaming at her from around the park. She darted her eyes around, looking for the source of the sound before she spotted Akarsha sitting on a tree branch.
“What are you doing?! That’s so dangerous, you idiot! Get down!”
“AW FRENCHMAN, WHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT? I’M A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS AFTER ALL, YOU HAVE TO BE MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR!”
Noelle flushed at that and stood, looking at Akarsha angrily before walking toward the tree she was sitting in.
“YOU’RE GOING TO FALL AND GET HURT, GET DOWN! I CAN’T CATCH YOU!”
“LA LA LA LA LA LA DOESN’T SOUND LIKE SAVING TO MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
‘YOU’RE A SOPHOMORE IN HIGH SCHOOL, YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS!”
“LA LA LA LA,” Akarsha kicked her feet on the branch, fingers in her ears as she stuck her tongue out at Noelle.
Noelle huffed, frustrated. She knew, logically, that if Akarsha tried to jump down, she’d likely suffer some sort of sprain, so she was trying to think of ways to get her down with minimal amount of damage.
Diya.
“DIYA!!!!!” Noelle screamed, spotting the girl over by a dog. Diya seemed to faintly hear her, looking back before seeing her friend looking frantic and the one above her in a tree singing and kicking to herself as she laid on the tree branch.
Min rolled their eyes, looking at the two and Diya sighed, though a part of her wanted to chuckle at it a bit. She jogged over to Noelle, looking up at Akarsha.
Akarsha frowned, making a faux offended face at Noelle, “How could you? Everyone knows the master knight kisses the poor damsel. I can’t kiss Diya!”
Despite that, she began trying to make her way off of the tree before realizing how exactly high up the tree was. Despite her thoughts to herself, she didn’t necessarily want to die in front of her friends from falling off a tree. She was slow as she tried to get down but her hands were slippery and her flip flops broke under the pressure of trying to keep her up.
She slipped, as Noelle and her screamed. Diya tried rushing to catch her but she was off by a touch, the girl rushing past her fingertips as she smacked into the ground.
“AKARSHA!” Noelle screamed, bending down to her friend and checking her pulse. She was panicking, the only logical thing to do in the situation.
“Fuck, we have to do something. Call 9-1-1 or something, Diya, please!” Noelle could feel her pulse racing, tears in her eyes as she watched Akarsha under her. Akarsha was alive and was a little winded, but she was unconscious.
Diya was quick to pull her phone out, as Min stood behind her with her hands wrapped around the taller girl's waist, as comfort. Once they got news that paramedics were on their way, Diya dropped beside Akarsha, making a move to pick her up.
“Don’t do that! She could have damage to her spine or her neck and you could cause fluid leakage in her body!”
Diya stepped away, alarmed at Noelle’s shouting but Noelle just bent over Akarsha’s face.
“God, you’re so stupid. Why can’t you just listen to me? It’s so scary to love you when you are doing things to hurt yourself all the time,” Noelle whispered the last part to herself as tears dropped onto Akarsha.
She was reminded of last year, when Akarsha was knocked out during practice and she cradled her until she awoke again.
Min whispered behind her to Diya, “Look at her fucking arm. It’s bent all weird.”
Diya nodded, still looking wildly panicked for their friend.
Eventually, they heard the sound of the ambulance rolling up to the playground and paramedics made their way over to Akarsha.
They tended to her before eventually bringing her up on a gurney and getting her to the hospital.
They all sat together, having no way to get to the hospital, as they waited with Diya so she could get home safely.
Noelle struggled to breathe and she couldn’t think of how she was going to go home. She certainly wasn’t this petrified when Akarsha had this problem in practice so why now?
She sighed, staring at her shaky hands. It was different this time because Akarsha hadn’t woken up this time. She had to watch the girl she was devoted to be put into an ambulance and away from her and she couldn’t even visit her.
“Hey, Noelle. I can have my mom drive us to the hospital and she can drive you home after, if you want?”
“They won’t let us go see her, we don’t have any family relations with her.”
“My mom knows her mom so her mom will let us.”
“What about Min?”
“I should probably go home now anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow, love. 사랑해,” Min kissed her softly before standing, beginning her way down the road.
Diya smiled gently as Min left before looking back toward Noelle.
“She’s going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that. What if she has a concussion or she paralyzed her spinal cord, or-”
“Deep breaths,” Diya inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, trying to show Noelle and Noelle rolled her eyes but copied her breathing.
“This is dumb. If she would've just listened to me, she wouldn’t have fallen and gotten hurt.”
“But you still love her,” Diya pointed out and Noelle flushed.
“I do not, that’s insane. I told you, I don’t have time for that. Maybe when I’m higher in life but now it’s completely pointless to be in meaningless relationships with someone who won’t hold you high to them for more than a few months.”
“That’s not how it is for me and Min. It’s not meaningless and we’ve been together for a year. And we had crushes on each other when we were little.”
“It’s different for you two, I’ve told you that before. Min would go across the world for you if she had to. She holds you higher than anyone or anything else, including herself. Which is a lot to say because her ego-”
She stopped at Diya’s unamused expression and inhaled deeply.
“All I’m saying is that it can’t be like that with me and her. For one, I don’t even think she likes me in the same vicinity as I do her. Secondly, I must focus upon my academics, I can’t have a relationship ruining my grades. Lastly, I can’t be as open with it as you can. If I were, my parents would kick me out of the house and I’d have nothing more for me in the world besides being a high school drop-out.”
(you need someone to tell you ‘hey! it’s all cool. it’s cool, man, i’m the same way myself')
“But it’d be better than you two trying to act like you don’t love each other and aching for each other to do something. You’ve both already confessed your feelings, what more is there for you to do?”
Noelle opened her mouth to respond but Diya’s mom pulled up to the playground. She ran out of the car, checking up on her daughter.
“You didn’t get hurt either, did you? Your friend's parents are worried sick about her. You all need to stay away from places like this, they’re dangerous.”
“We’re fine, but can we go see her?”
“Of course.”
“Can Noelle come with us? She tutors a lot of students and Akarsha was one of the kids that she tutored and she’s really worried.”
Diya’s mom looked at the worried looking girl still sitting on the sidewalk, inspecting her and the textbook she had in her lap.
“Alright.”
I would sleep better on your floor
Than I would ever in my bed
And if your carpet makes my face itch
It'd still be heaven in my head
Akarsha was sitting up in her bed when they got into her hospital room. She waved at them with her not broken hand and Noelle frowned at her.
“How are you so idiotic?! You could’ve been killed! You’re lucky you made it out with a broken arm and a minor concussion.”
Akarsha chuckled dryly at Noelle, “I’m fineeeee! I meant to slip and fall. This way, I getta miss the test in History tomorrow and won’t have to take it for 3 days.”
Noelle thwacked at her good arm and Akarsha whined, flopping back onto her hospital bed.
“I’m dead, the last blow woe onto me. Tell my family I love them,” Akarsha croaked and Noelle hid back a chuckle as she glared at Akarsha, shaking her head disapprovingly.
“Glad to see you’re doing better,” Diya offered and Akarsha smiled.
“I was a-okay back at the playground. I was just super fast and you all didn’t see me lay myself down onto the dirt and act like I was asleep so I could get oh sweet Noelle to pamper me like the princess I am.”
They both looked at her annoyed and she shrugged.
“Why are you here anyway, magic man? You just care so much about me? Loveeeeee me?”
“What is wrong with you? You’re an acquaintance and you had a near death experience, I would consider that a reasonable excuse to come and visit you in the hospital.”
“Don’t let her fool you, you got her to say the f word.”
“I MISSED THAT?! You know what that means, I have to work so much harder to get Noelle to open up into that vocabulary. Hm…” Akarsha stared off in thought and Noelle looked at her angrily.
“No! You did this same thing last year! Just stop getting yourself hurt, you idiot! I can’t stand you sometimes.”
“You can always have a seat with me. Or even lay down,” Akarsha winked at her, wiggling her eyebrows and Noelle faked a gag, looking away from her.
“You’re disgusting and I hate you.”
“My feelings,” Akarsha whined again, clutching her heart.
I would play more than just four chords if it's a song that you might like
But I am not very good, so I would practice every night
Akarsha got out sooner than she hoped, unfortunately. She was able to miss her test on Friday but was released out of the hospital Saturday. She was on house ‘arrest’ in her own words, as her parents wouldn’t allow her outside until her arm healed up.
They were, however, out with her brother, so she decided to invite her friends over.
“You broke the most lamest part of your body, fucker,” Min told her as she signed the bright green cast.
“I’ll make sure to break my spine next time,” Akarsha said sarcastically as she looked at what Min had written on her.
Fuck you and burn in hell - Min
Akarsha laughed at Min’s large handwriting, with the backwards letters and the angry capitals that Min wrote in.
Diya had signed it with her name whenever she got there at the bottom of her cast and Noelle signed it at the top in her perfect cursive.
Akarsha was stretched out on the couch, her head laying on the left of Noelle, hair tickling her thigh. Noelle was flushed at the girl so close to her legs, especially so close to laying on them.
Akarsha had insisted that they play some sort of game on her Wii but she had no hands available to play with so instead she just watched the others as they got deeply invested (the only one necessarily invested being none other than Min-Seo) in a game of Wii Bowling.
If Noelle caught Akarsha staring her up and down as she bowled, she simply ignored it. She was, after all, loopy on a few pain medications they put her on.
“You fucking suck at this game, man,” Min told Noelle and Noelle refused to look at her as she continued her turn.
“This is virtual bowling, I don’t need to be good at it in order to entertain you. I don’t engage in these things and they don’t have any necessary skill or will to do them so they’re completely pointless.”
“Sounds like something that a fuckin loser would say.”
“Shut up!”
Noelle sat down after another unsuccessful hit at the pins. She managed to hit one of the pins during the game but the rest remained standing and she somehow managed to perfectly dodge all the other standing pins during her second bowl.
In the end, Diya beat the two that played and the sun was soon setting.
Min was the first to leave, living the farthest away and Diya left after her, claiming she had homework to catch up on before Monday.
Noelle sat on the floor now by Akarsha’s head, plucking at the fabric of her button down.
“So sweet that you stayed with me,” Akarsha grinned and Noelle rolled her eyes.
“Whatever you say. You clearly are unable to care for yourself with one hand so I’m simply waiting for your parents to return before I make my leave.”
“Excuses, excuses. All I see is the little hetero that chose to stay with me past her bedtime.”
“I don’t have a bedtime. And that’s a crude thing to assume!”
“As the saying goes, straight until proven guilty.”
“That’s not how the saying goes.”
“Says you.”
Noelle just rolled her eyes, finding herself too tired to keep up a fight with the girl. If only she would realize, she thought to herself.
The quiet that surrounded them was comfortable, a sort of domestic silence and it soon lulled Noelle to sleep.
-
Noelle awoke in a panic that morning, wired to her internal alarm. She had no recollection of walking herself home and the look around the room she was in proved that she had indeed, not done that.
She could faintly see and recognize the decorations around the room in the brisk dawn and realized she had fallen asleep in Akarsha’s house. She was on her couch, her head resting in someone’s lap. She looked up and saw Akarsha above her, her good hand resting on the edge of the couch while her broken one was laying limply over the top of Noelle’s chest, seemingly to try to avoid the lower half of it.
She was covered in a soft blanket and looked down to see it was one with a large face of a tiger on it. She thought it was tacky but it did serve its purpose. She was mentally beating herself up over the fact that she had let herself get so tired and it get so dark that she stayed the night at her friend’s house without even consulting herself or her parents.
And in addition to the fact that Akarsha, with her already bad posture, would have even more back pain when she awoke from her spot on the couch and it’d be her fault.
She sighed, reaching for her phone in her pocket. 9% - 6:48 AM Sunday, 09/14/2009. She sighed once again at her dead phone, finding chat messages from Diya asking if she had gotten home safe.
It took everything in her to not allow herself to stay until morning, until after Akarsha’s parents had awoken along with Akarsha, and leave while she could say a goodbye and a thank you for allowing her to stay over.
Instead, she slowly slid out from Akarsha’s arm, laying the blanket across Akarsha, and slipping on her shoes. She quietly walked her way out of the front door, locking the bottom part behind her, and made her way home.
(how did i get myself into this? how can i get myself out of this? how am i going to get out of this?)
-
Akarsha was dreary when she woke up, feeling as though she hadn’t slept at all that night. Her neck and back ached with the way she had been sleeping, sitting upright. Unlike Noelle, she did remember falling asleep the night before.
Noelle had been quietly sleeping on the floor by the couch, her head tilted to the right as she softly snored. Akarsha’s heart swelled at the sight of the girl, the look of comfort and serenity that crossed her face while she was asleep making her look calm and alive.
It was a never ending battle to tend to her feelings for her friend. Akarsha had figured that Noelle would have realized by now, especially with her admission last year but Noelle never did anything to go along with it, so Akarsha figured they were both ignoring it for the sake of her feelings. As though Noelle didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
Akarsha huffed as she thought about how she was going to move the other girl onto the couch so she could sleep more comfortably. She ended up nudging the other girl awake, offering her the spot in her lap for Noelle to sleep, who groggily accepted, crawling onto the couch with her head in Akarsha’s lap and quickly falling back asleep.
Akarsha’s face was flushed as Noelle rested in her lap, not used to having anyone so close to her like that, let alone the girl she was borderline in love with already. She willed her heart to calm down and her brain to stop soaring so that she could sleep with Noelle.
She undid Noelle’s braid, slowly running her fingers through her hair to help undo the gentle curls. She put the hair tie onto her wrist, taking another glance at the girl before looking at her arm. She didn’t want to suffocate Noelle with her casted arm but she didn’t want to hold the girls boobs, especially without her consent.
She settled with resting it on the top of her collarbone before grabbing her phone, scrolling through Tumblr.
Akarsha jolted as she heard her parents car pull into the driveway, quickly turning off her phone and dropping it onto the floor. The keys jangled at the door as she rested her good arm against the armrest and laid her head in her hand, pretending to be asleep.
She was worried that they would ask her about Noelle or offer to take Noelle home if one was awake just laying so 'intimately' together but hoped that if they were both assumed to be asleep, then they would just leave the two alone.
As her parents entered the house with her brother, she was proven right as they quietly chatted a bit by the door before wishing Prattik goodnight and making their way to their respective bedrooms.
Akarsha figured it’d be best for her to just try to sleep now, as the night edged on into the morning. She soon faded off into sleep, even as her wrist ached.
She would admit that she was a little more than disappointed at finding the couch beside her empty when she woke up, the tiger blanket her mom must’ve put over her before she went to bed across her lap.
She knew Noelle and knew the girl would probably have left early in the morning like she did but she was still allowed to be upset about it, she thought to herself.
A quick and upsetting thought flashed in her mind, threatening that maybe she had made Noelle uncomfortable again and that the girl had left in a haste to get away from her.
She got up and folded the blanket to the best of her ability with one hand before moving her way into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
*fr0g the k3rm1t has entered the chatroom*
fr0g the k3rm1t
good mrning dudes n dudettes
She clicked out of the baseball club chat and into Noelle’s chatroom.
*fr0g the k3rm1t has entered the chatroom*
fr0g the k3rm1t
heZy when did u leave? did u get home safe? U feeling okay?
Noelle
I left early this morning, I have tutoring with Min-Seo at 11 AM. I got home fine, apologies for intruding into your home. I’m feeling alright. Are you alright? Why are you so worried about me?
fr0g the k3rm1t
me ? worried? Frenchman, do u tlak to other hoes?! im hurt </3
but it wasn’tintrudcing
U were tired
u woldnt be able to wakl hme ni that state
and im srupridsed min agreed to that
Noelle
What are you on about? And anyway, I shouldn’t have stayed the night, it wasn’t fair to make you sleep out on your couch all night instead of in your bed.
And she didn’t. But I managed to get Diya to convince her to attend Sunday’s with me so that they could skip church.
Fr0g the k3rm1t
your fineeeee frechnie
i wanted to sleep on the couch with yu
u snore btw
In e ways can i comeeeee
im bored
Noelle
It’s supposed to be studying, Akarsha.
Min still has to take classes from last year because she failed them. Your grades are doing okay.
fr0g the k3rm1t
Pls pls pls pls pls pls plsp lspl psl psl psl psl
i have uh
Uh
history to wrk on
Noelle
We haven’t had history homework in a week, Akarsha.
fr0g the k3rm1t
So u don’t wanna see me
:’(
crying now
Broken my ear
T
Im dying
All ur falt
Tell my family i love them
Au revior
Noelle
You’re so dramatic. You can come but you have to try to study.
I would rather not get kicked out of another place.
fr0g the k3rm1t
FUCK YEAH!!!
WOO!!!!!!
I COULD KISS YOU RIGHT NOW
11111
WOOOOOOO
PEE PEE MAN IS LETTING ME GO TO THE LIBARHY
Noelle
Nevermind, you’re not invited.
fr0g the k3rm1t
ur no fun :(
*Noelle has went offline*
They still had some time before 11 so she went back to the friend chat.
*fr0g the k3rm1t has entered the chatroom*
Min
im nto a dude or a dudite whres my hello
Diya
Good morning Min
:D
Min
diya ! :D
fr0g the k3rm1t
Noooo the homos
Im dying
This is a chirstan server
Min
fucking up shtu stupdi fuck
non ne was tlkaing t o yoyu
fr0g the k3rm1t
good thing i cant read hat u type
im sure it was rly mean
L
anywas
i dind’t see dyia dis mornign
whic means
if the sky is pruple, then why i s the wold grey
Min
what
Diya
Where’s Noelle
fr0g the k3rm1t
noelle? neever hear of a noelle.
Noelle
I’m here, sorry. I must’ve fallen asleep.
fr0g the k3rm1t
is my couch that uncomfgry?
damn ;-;
Min
ur cuch?1 wtf
did u stay with akarsha last night
fr0g the k3rm1t
oh yeahhh
we just had a lot f o
dirty
gay
Noelle
If you dare finish that sentence, I will end you.
I just so happened to have stayed at her house last night because I had fallen asleep on her couch.
Nothing else.
Diya
Awwwwww
Min
ew
fr0g the k3rm1t
u can't hide forever pea man
the clsoet doors are galss
Noelle
Whatever, Akarsha.
Min, are you going to be on time for tutoring today?
Min
i m alwlas on tme yu freaky ho
ur the wones that is arly
Noelle
Whatever, just be on time or I’m not tutoring you.
I’m going to exit this chat now, I will see you all in a few minutes.
fr0g the k3rm1t
bon voyage frenhie!!
u will be miseed
i will read your obitulary
here lies neolel
biggest nerd in da world
lve…
weezer mobile
Noelle
Goodbye.
*Noelle has went offline*
With that, Akarsha also exited the group chat and checked the time. It was around 10:45 in the morning so she grabbed some clean clothes and a plastic bag she was told to keep around her cast while she showered and moved into the shower.
She may have been a little late running to the library, Noelle and Min already seated at a table as she rushed in, panting heavily. It took her a minute to pass through the librarian after the alarm Noelle placed in her backpack rang before she nodded her off.
Min’s eyebrows were scrunched as she read over the paper in front of her.
“What the fuck is a recessive trait?! That’s some stupid made up science bullshit!”
“Did you even study last night like I told you too?! These were in the flashcards I gave you!”
“I tried! It wasn’t my fault! You don’t know what I have to do at home!”
“I’m sure you had some time all day yesterday to get it done! And be quiet, don’t you dare get us kicked out of here like you did Snowcastle. I’ll just have to go over it with you again.”
“Whatever pencil fucker.”
Noelle flipped through her piles of paper, notes, and flashcards before finding the one that Min needed.
“A recessive trait is a minor trait that is alone with another recessive trait. Recessive traits only show up if two, in this example, parents share the recessive trait. If only one parent has the trait, it would show as an uppercase R and lowercase r signifying that the dominant trait will overpower the recessive trait.
“If both parents share the recessive trait, then it will show as two lowercase r’s, showing the shared trait and the likelihood of children conceived having the trait,” Noelle explained and Min looked at her like she was struggling to comprehend what she was saying, eyebrows never leaving their furrowed state.
“Autism is a recessive trait which means both of your parents had to have it for you to come out like you did,” Akarsha added, finally regaining her breath and sneaking up behind Noelle.
Noelle jumped in her seat at Akarsha’s voice, whipping her head around to look at the other girl. She glared at her for her input before looking back down towards the mess on the table. It seemed as though she had missed the tell tale sound of the alarm and flip flops to identify Akarsha.
Akarsha looked at her almost sadly at the disregard before sitting down beside her. She glimpsed over at Noelle’s pile of things and spotted a paper that caught her interest with bright red marking.
“THE FRENCHMAN TAKES FRENCH!? I KNEW IT! YOU CAN TAKE THE FRENCHMAN OUT OF FRANCE BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE THE FRANCE OUT OF THE FRENCHMAN. OUI OUI HON HON!” Akarsha taunted and Noelle glared at the girl.
“Be quiet! It was an extra elective that raises my chance of getting into a good college with four years of a foreign language.”
“I’m so proud of you, frenchie! Getting back to your roots, learning your culture! You should bake me a baguette. Sail to France together, it’ll be so romantic!”
“You’re so annoying. You said you were going to come here to study, so get to studying. We don’t have time for this. Anyways,” Noelle turned back toward Min and Akarsha frowned. Noelle was acting off today and it irked Akarsha.
Her mind began to race over the possibilities of what she could have done to ruin her friend’s mood. She seemed fine yesterday all the way up until she passed back out into her lap.
Maybe it was the sleeping together , she thought to herself, maybe she just doesn’t like you the same way and the laying together made her freak out. Of course. Akarsha can’t have one potential relationship go right.
(everybody hates a clown)
Her head was now starting to pulse and she laid her head down onto the desk as Noelle continued to go over it with Min.
She knew Diya kept telling her over and over again that Noelle reciprocated the feelings but every time, it seemed as though Noelle didn’t want anything to do with her. Her hands twitched as she anxiously bounced her leg.
She sat her head up after a few minutes, legs still bouncing, as she pulled out her study guide for a test they were having soon and tried to focus on it even though her mind was a whirl.
She forced all her focus onto the paper, as she did whenever she moved on from her path of cheating through tests because of Noelle and Diya. She managed to get a lot of her work done in the time they were there and she smiled proudly to herself before thinking, oh god Noelle is rubbing off on me.
Noelle nudged her shoulder as she frantically flipped through her notes and Akarsha’s brain short circuited before looking over at Noelle.
“Min-Seo is complaining about a headache so we were going to go stop for some breakfast. Would you like to join us?”
“As in a date, frenchie? Of course, m'lady,” Akarsha grinned, standing and bowing before Noelle and Noelle rolled her eyes, thwacking the other girl on the head.
-
“Of course you both get black coffee. How lameeeeeeeee,” Akarsha groaned, taking a sip off of her drink before wincing, fanning off her burnt lips from the drink she got.
“Black coffee looks badass, I don’t need a sissy drink,” Min muttered, sipping through the burn of her drink. She was looking down at her phone, frantically typing to who they both supposed was Diya.
“Black coffee is high in antioxidants and contains moderate levels of vitamin B2 and magnesium. Milk adds lactose, of course, but additional sugars ruin the health benefits of the drink,” Noelle explained, being the only one smart enough to not sip on her too hot coffee.
“But it tastes like a wet toilet sock.”
“I’m afraid to ask what a toilet sock is,” Noelle glared at her and Akarsha shrugged.
“It’s a toilet sock. Sock for your toilet. Toilet toes get cold too!, y’know? How offensive to toilets?!”
“What is wrong with you?! Toilets don’t have toes and the way you phrased that was really problematic!”
“Potato potato,” Akarsha shrugged with a grin.
“The phrase is pot-Ae-to and pot-ah-to and it doesn’t even apply to the situation!” Akarsha just grinned and turned around to face Noelle, walking backwards.
“What are you doing?”
“Time travel. If I walk backwards enough times around, I’ll go back in time when I come back.”
“That’s not how science works. I didn’t get enough sleep last night to deal with this,” Noelle just rolled her eyes, finally taking a sip of her coffee and sighing contently as it warmed her slightly.
“We should get back soon, Diya’s gonna hang with us at the libary,” Min smiled down at her phone, happy that her girlfriend was going to be joining in on their study session.
“When did this turn into a community learning session?! And its li-BR-ary. Not li-berry!” Noelle grumbled as they made their way back to the library.
Diya was there when they got back, sitting in the seat that was right by Min’s old seat. Min was quick to rush over to her seat, kissing her softly. Diya made a face at the taste of Min’s lips.
“What did you get to drink? Doesn’t taste good.”
“It’s black coffee, sorry. If I knew you were going to be coming here earlier, I would’ve gotten you a drink.”
Diya smiled at that, wrapping her partner in a tight hug. Min just smiled into her hair, holding her back tightly.
Noelle and Akarsha had taken their respective seats across from Min and Diya, Akarsha faking gags at the two showing affection to each other.
“Hey frenchie,” Akarsha whispered to Noelle and Noelle looked over at her, quirking one eyebrow trying to show that she was paying attention even though she was absentmindedly reaching back into her backpack to get out the things she needed to continue studying.
“Are you a toaster? Because if I took a bath with you, I’d go to heaven.”
Akarsha’s eyes widened after her joke seeing Noelle’s lips curl into a smile and a hearty giggle escaped, her hand moving to cover over her mouth as she continued giggling.
“Holy shit! I made the Frenchman laugh!!!!! FUCK YEAH!” Akarsha cheered, her chest swelling at the sound of her friend's laughter.
Diya looked at Noelle with a smile and Min glared at her like she wanted to punch her.
“This is going down into the history books! I made the frenchie laugh! A little chuckle! A little hehe! A little ha ha ho ho over a pickup line!”
“Shhhhhh, shut up you idiot!” Noelle said between wheezes from laughing so hard, “I’m just exhausted, you caught me off guard.”
“A laugh is a laugh, frenchie. A tired action is a sober thought.”
“That’s for alcohol. A drunken action is a sober thought.”
“If you ever laugh like that again, I’m going to beat your ass, you weirdo. You sound like a dying turtle,” Min stared at Noelle with mostly mock disgust.
“I don’t plan to laugh at any more of her brainless statements and I’m pretty sure dying turtles don’t make a sound,” Noelle explained and Min just rolled her eyes.
“Cucumber,” Akarsha licked the tip of her pointer finger and poked Noelle in the cheek with it, who shrieked loudly.
They didn’t get much more studying done after that, until the sun started to set and the 4 had to make their ways to their respective homes.
Noelle was the first to leave, her mother’s friend (who was meant to be watching over her for the weeks her parents were out) taking her out so that she could eat lunch at home and work on her own homework.
Next was Akarsha, who made an excuse of having a soccer game to attend for her brother which they knew was her just not wanting to be a third wheel for the couple.
Then was Diya, who managed to stay the latest out of the three with a common curfew, leaving with her mom for dinner.
Min however, had been last, dreading returning home to her parents. Their parents had found failed tests and low grade report cards littered in her room, cut angrily with scissors, and she wasn’t in the mood to fight with her father over it (even if they knew they would win it anyway, like they always considered that they did.
And you've got gold plastic on your shelf
That they gave to everybody else
And you could say it says your name
But I don't think that that would help
Min’s parents were downstairs on the couch when she got home, the sun having sank far into the horizon.
“Where were you?! We tried to call you multiple times! Why do we even pay for you to have that stupid device if you’re not going to respond to our calls?!” Min’s mother complained, flashing her phone into her face.
“It’s not my fault! We got caught up with studying!” Min looked at her mom with a disgusted look, stepping back more towards the door.
“You study all the time and nothing good comes of it! You fail all your tests and you have low grades in all your classes! We could get you a new tutor but you are the dumbest child I’ve ever met! Why can’t you be more like your brother?!” Min’s father shouted and Min glared at the angry man.
“I fucking try on all my tests you pieces of shit! I’m learning and you all can just sit the fuck down and do whatever parent things you need to do! You’re both stupid too, so I get it from you! I’m not like Jun because I’m not a little pussy who’s afraid!”
“You watch your mouth! Who in the world taught you it was okay to be so disrespectful?! We should make you come to Korea with us. They won’t tolerate all your nonsense! You’ll have to dress and act like the girl you are and respect your elders!”
“I’m not a girl and I’m not going to respect you just because you’re old! You both suck, fuck you!”
Min’s father stood above them and they stood their ground, reaching for something that they could attack their dad with if they needed to.
As soon as his hand landed on her face, they reached for a heavy ceramic creature they kept in the living room, chucking it at the older man who stumbled backwards, looking angrier as he went after her the second time.
Min was out of the door before her mother could finish her shouting of “YOU DISRESPECTFUL CHILD, GET BACK HERE AND TAKE IT! YOU MISBEHAVE AND YOU SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES! THIS IS HOW YOU HANDLE HORRIBLE CHILDREN!” and her father could land any more angry hits on her.
They ran fast, her legs leading her through the familiar path until she was in the tunnel that led to the dog park once again.
Fights with her parents were still common. Despite how many times Jun would tell them to let it go, she couldn’t. She wasn’t going to step down from a fight no matter who it was against.
It was routine. Her father would have a horrible day at work, he’d take it out on her specifically over something she thought was miniscule, she’d fight back, he’d try to take it to the extremes, and she’d run before he could seriously harm her.
They tried to fight through it before and after Diya had seen their state after, she had begged Min to just leave the house if they thought their father was going to do anything more to them.
Diya had tried to get Min to stop fighting with her parents and they had tried but their father took it as an excuse to instigate more problems and Min had left that night with bruised knuckles and her father had slept through the night with a broken nose.
She slid through the bank until she reached a dry part higher up, where the cops were less likely to catch her if they went looking for her if her parents reported her missing again.
Her cheek stung and her lungs burned but the adrenaline running through her veins kept a big smile on her face, resting her head against the cold stone behind her.
She’d come back later in the night, when she was sure both of her parents were asleep and sneak into her bed. Her parents would act like the night before never occurred, waking the two for school and dropping them off without altercation.
(when the night comes all i ever do is run)
And she’d walk home after school with no parents home, just a family friend her parents would hire to watch over them (Min).
It was times like this where they would wish they still had their cigarettes (even though she’d insist she wasn’t ever addicted), to have something to do with their hands. Instead, she grabbed a sharpish looking rock and a thick stick and began sharpening the stick.
It was a good coping mechanism for her. She wouldn’t do anything to herself or anyone else with it (despite what she wished she could do) and would instead just burn it after it was sharpened. She liked sharpening the sticks and she liked the way the fire would look and if she would go to school the next day with burn marks on her fingers, she’d blame it on the stove.
It was their brother, Jun-Seo’s, idea for them to develop other coping mechanisms. When they’d get mad and stay at home, she’d beat against the wall until her knuckles bled and Jun had to wrap them in bandages. He hated her sometimes, the way she’d act without thinking and so selfishly but they were his twin and he loved her like so.
It was weird to her, to have people who cared about her. To have Diya kiss her and hold her on days she felt like she wanted to destroy the world with her bare hands. To have Jun there to help her with her parents, even if he hated it with all his might. To have Noelle care enough to help tutor her, despite how much she claimed that she didn’t. To have even Akarsha, who would fuck with her until they broke a smile and would punch her when they did.
Min’s stomach turned at their thoughts and they cut deeper into the stick than they imagined, nicking onto their skin. It started to bleed immediately and they groaned, rolling their sleeves down to cover the wound while they finished the stick.
She started a fire with a pack of matches she kept in her pockets for nights like this. They lit the wood and threw it down the bank, watching as the flame consumed the branch before it burned out into the water.
They tossed the rock into the water and began walking their way back to their house.
As she suspected, her parents were away in their bedrooms and she was able to sneak into her bedroom through her bedroom window (they used to leave the door unlocked for her but after she broke a few too many glass items, they chose to lock it.)
Jun was awake, to their surprise, when they got back.
“Uh, what are you doing awake?” Min questioned, rolling up her sleeve to find her forearm covered with mostly dried blood.
“Holy sh-! Are you okay?! What did you do?!” Jun whisper shouted at her, grabbing a pack of wipes and bandages he kept by his bed and sitting her down on her bed.
“I was sharpening a stick and the rock was sharp. It was just a stupid fucking rock, I’m fine. I didn’t do it on purpose. I’m not like that anymore, you know that,” Min rolled their eyes as their brother tended over them.
He was silent as he worked on her arm, making sure the blood was cleaned up and the wound was disinfected properly before he wrapped it in the bandage.
“What was he mad at you for tonight, anyway?”
“I cut up some stupid fucking grade that he didn’t like. He doesn’t think the tutoring shit is helping me. Him and mom called me a stupid disrespectful child. It’s fucking bullshit. If they can’t deal with someone who doesn’t listen to every word they say, they shouldn’t have had kids.”
Jun just nodded in agreement, sighing. “I wish you wouldn’t fight him. It doesn’t help either of you.”
“I’m not going to lose to a grown man who can’t get his balls to drop fast enough for him to realize that hey, maybe hitting your kids won’t fucking help them like you more.”
Jun just sighed again and shook his head, “You won’t have to deal with him for a week, so just stay out of trouble.”
“I’m never in trouble. The rules are dumb and I just don’t want to follow them. He’s dumb too. I wish he would just fucking drop dead.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do. I meant it when he kept putting me in those fucking ugly pink dresses and shouted at me for cutting my hair and threw a toilet seat at me for it and I hate him now when he gets pissed he can’t bully me for fun anymore.”
Jun moved his stuff back to its respective place and laid in his bed. Min stood and grabbed their pajamas (dirty, but she didn’t care. They were comfortable). They walked into the bathroom to change, aggressively brushing their teeth until their gums bled (in her mind, showing that she had killed all the germs) and went back to the room to go to bed.
“I love you, you know that, right?” Jun whispered to them.
“Ewww, that’s weird, sicko.”
“Not like that, idiot. You’re my sibling. I love you like my twin.”
They were silent for a bit, counting the panels on their wall.
“Jun?” She asked, testing to see if he was still awake.
“Hm?”
“I love you too, even if you’re a weird pussy bitch.”
“That wasn’t necessary.”
“It’s true though.”
-
“We’re leaving for Korea today, you will both walk home. Min-Seo, if we hear a single thing with you, we are going to break every device you own.”
Min just grumbled, working to finish getting ready for school. She tried to keep herself in a good mood when she saw Diya at school, trying to ignore her parents' taunting.
The ride to school was silent and her day at school went as normal. She winced whenever Diya or Akarsha would grab her where she had accidentally cut herself on the stone (they had explained to Diya what had happened and Diya believed them) but she was floating through the day.
Safe to say, they were excited. They could have Diya over if they wanted this week (her parents didn’t think she had any friends minus her tutor, so she didn’t have any rules saying she couldn’t have ‘friends’ over) and they wouldn’t have meaningless fights (despite how fun she found them) and they wouldn’t have to run until their legs gave out every evening.
Diya was a bit worried about her girlfriend’s overly positive attitude, which symbolized that Min had done something bad (i.e, when she’d beaten kids off of a playground with a stick because they would pull their eyes up and talk in their stereotypical and overtly racist Chinese accents).
“Everything okay today, Min?” Diya would stop herself from calling Min the sweet names she wished she could without her face flushing, despite how Min would brighten up at being called pet names like love.
“Duh, why wouldn’t it be?”
“You’re frighteningly chipper, that can only mean that you’re going to or already have committed some crime that you managed to get away with once again,” Noelle added in and Min elbowed her in the rib. She stumbled over herself, gripping on to her ribs and glaring at Min.
“My parents are away in Korea for the week which means I don’t have to listen to some bullshit assholes all week.”
“You shouldn’t talk about your parents like that,” Noelle noted and Min raised their elbow, threatening to elbow her.
“My parents fucking suck so shut the fuck up, you… paper slut.”
“Why are you so into fighting me today?”
“I’m into fighting you everyday, what do you mean?”
“Ladies and not so ladies, no need to get into such heated arguments. We all know that violins solve nothing,” Akarsha wrapped her arms around both of the two arguing (struggling to get her casted arm around Noelle’s shoulder and instead choosing to just keep it around her waist the best she could) and Min gagged, moving their way out of Akarsha’s arm while trying to keep themselves close to Diya so Diya wouldn’t let them go.
“Violins… Do you mean violence?" Noelle questioned, looking at Akarsha with a blank expression on her face.
“Violins solve nothing. They only play music notes. For someone so smart, frenchie, I would think you’d know that.”
“What is with you all today?!” Noelle huffed.
“We loveeeeee you,” Akarsha hummed and Min looked at her disgusted.
“I don’t.”
They argued until the end of lunch bell rang and they made their way through the rest of the day. At the end of the day, they all agreed to go to Min’s home and hang out with Hayden and Jun after their baseball meetings.
Min thought to herself that it was the most at home her house had ever felt, especially with Diya by her side, arms wrapped around her in comfort.
-