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The first time Tubbo noticed it was way too far into their friendship. He must not have been around for it to happen or maybe Tommy could hold himself together better but.. he could see it then.
He had just returned from Logan’s awkward and just downright rude Podcast. Wilbur, Tubbo and Ranboo were all at Wilbur’s. Tommy had returned and his energy had been depleted. It was clear to Tubbo and Ranboo that Tommy was out of it in one way or another.
But Wilbur had been too furious that Tommy would put himself in such a bad situation knowing how bad Logan had been.
Ranboo had been in the kitchen when Wilbur started to grow stern as Tommy pleaded his case. Tommy was known for fighting back and for always being right. (Even if he wasn’t right at all and he was only just saying he was) everyone knew this about the blonde.
He would fight you till he died.
So when Wilbur’s voice raised Tubbo had expected them both to start shouting. But Tommy didn’t.
Tubbo pocketed his phone and his eyes found the tremble in Tommy’s hands and the way his eyes found the floor as no words even tried to find their way out.
Tubbo stood up and walked over grabbing Wilbur’s arm, “hey, he apologized. Let’s just drop it, okay?”
Wilbur sighed, “yeah, fine.” Wilbur joined Ranboo in the kitchen. He may have seemed like a dick but he genuinely didn’t realize something was wrong with Tommy, he had just been scared that Tommy was going to get hurt.
Tubbo turned to Tommy and grabbed his hands without much thought and interlocked their fingers. “It’s okay, there’s no more yelling. You’re safe with me.” Tubbo whispered and Tommy looked at him, nodding a bit, his eyes full of reminisce of fear but the want to accept the comfort. “I’m not going anywhere Toms, I’ll be here for you forever if you’ll have me.”
“I’m sorry.” Tommy whispered. “This is pathetic.”
Tubbo offered a hug and Tommy accepted it, burying his head into Tubbo’s shoulder. “Being afraid isn’t pathetic. We all have things we’re scared of, Toms. And I’ll protect you.”
“You don’t have to.” Tommy whispered.
“I love you too much not to.” Tubbo had said.
At the time the words were platonic.
But still, Tubbo had learned that Tommy doesn’t react to negative yelling in a great way. Tubbo always made sure no matter how frustrated he got at the blonde to never raise his voice at him like that.
The next time Tubbo had to see it was still when they were friends, swooning over each other while Ranboo played wingman.
They were idiots at the time and Tubbo chuckled just thinking about it.
Oh how blind they were.
But Tubbo had witnessed Tommy shut down on the beach.
Tubbo hadn’t actually been with him, Freddie had been.
Someone who claimed to be a fan had gotten close to them but started acting weirdly to Tommy and Freddie, trying to make inappropriate advances.
Freddie and Tommy got upset and started telling the person off, only for the person to start yelling that Freddie and Tommy were in the wrong and how bad they were. This shut Tommy down immediately as the yelling between Freddie and the stranger started.
Freddie felt a slight tug on his shirt and felt the tremble of the hand on his shirt. Freddie told the person off and led Tommy away, getting him to sit on a bench, noticing his pre-panic attack state.
“Tommy, Buddy, what usually helps you when you get like this?” Freddie asked, he knew certain people reacted differently, some preferred hugs, others needed zero contact, others needed the ‘breathe with me’ method, and Freddie didn’t want to do the wrong one and make the situation worse. It’s happened to him and he wasn’t about to make someone else go through that even if it was an accident.
“Tubbo…” Tommy whispered and Freddie nodded, pulling his phone out and calling Tubbo.
“Hey man, uhm some fan and me and Tommy got into a fight down at the beach near my place and there was a lot of shouting, do you think you can talk to Tommy? I think the advances and the words from the stranger are sending him into a panic attack.”
Tubbo quickly got up from his chair and pulled a hoodie on, “put him on the phone please, and you can grab his free hand, it keeps him grounded.”
“Hello.” Tommy said weakly. Freddie did as instructed and interlocked his fingers with Tommy’s earning a soft look from the blonde as a silent thanks.
“Hey, Toms- Ranboo I’m going out. Tommy will be coming over, he will need clothes.” Tubbo shut his door and Tommy could hear the sound of wind pick up behind him rather quickly. Was Tubbo running?
“Are you running?”
“Yes,” Tubbo said between short breaths, “I’ll be there in a minute. You’re okay.”
“Why are you coming here?” Tommy asked, his voice still small. Freddie seemed shocked that Tubbo was coming here as well.
“I promised I would protect you, and I can’t do that from a distance. I see you guys, I’ll be there in a second.” Tubbo hung up and ran over to the bench holding his friends.
Tommy wiggled his hand away from Freddie’s and he jumped up to cling to Tubbo. Tubbo rubbed Tommy’s arm gently, “I’ll have him come back to mine,” Tubbo started, “thank you for keeping him safe till I got here.” Tubbo acted like he wasn’t out of breath from running way too far way too fast but his adrenaline had been going so fast that he didn’t have time to think. He just went.
“Is there anything I can get you guys before you head out then?” Freddie asked and Tubbo shook his head, Tommy followed the action, his head tucked into Tubbo’s neck. “Alright then see ya around lads.”
“See you ‘round, Freddie.” Tubbo smiled as Freddie walked off making sure to grab his phone off the bench.
Tubbo got Tommy to face him and offered a smile, getting a weak one back, “they were yelling at you, huh?”
“They were.” Tommy said, “sorry.”
“Don't apologize for your fears, Tom.” Tubbo interlocked his left hand with Tommy’s right and started walking towards his house, Tommy happily complying. They both smiled warmly at the idea of holding hands that Tubbo almost didn’t hear the whispered ‘thank you, I love you’.
But this wasn’t just about learning Tommy’s fear of yelling, not completely. It’ll surface again.
Before Tubbo got to see it again he got to see a different side of Tommy.
They had been having a sleepover. Ranboo was at Aimsey’s or something and that meant Tubbo and Tommy could do as they pleased.
So they went for a walk on the beach in the middle of the night. They stayed relatively silent as they held their shoes in their hands while their free hands brushed ever so gently a lot while they walked.
They both had rolled up their pant legs as well, and probably looked like idiots right now, but they didn’t care.
“Tubs.” Tommy started, his voice was soft. But not the fragile soft Tubbo had heard it two times now. It was comfortable.
“Hm?” Tubbo looked at Tommy as they walked and noticed Tommy was staring at him.
“I know you said that relationships aren’t really your thing but would you ever consider it? Like if the right person came along or even then would you choose to not be ‘held down’ by the weight of the relationship?” Tommy seemed genuinely curious in his question and Tubbo would admit it was a great question, but why did Tommy want to know?
Yes, Tubbo was stupid. He knows.
“Well I think the right person could change that.” Tubbo said with certainty.
“Have you found that person yet?” Tommy asked, “I've Uhm.. well everyone has seen your interactions with Ranboo and I think if you guys like each other then that’s great and all and totally wouldn’t hurt at all but I would be happy for you.” Tubbo stopped them from walking and just blinked at Tommy for a moment, letting his words process.
“Wait- you think I like Ranboo!?” Tubbo asked and Tommy shrugged.
“You guys click, man.”
Tubbo facepalmed, “No, you idiot. I don’t like Ranboo as more than a best friend. Maybe you but that’s different.”
“Maybe me?” Tommy asked but instead of being curious he seemed.. sly. Tubbo could see a smirk forming on his lips and that’s when he knew that Tommy had just played him.
“Ranboo told you.” Tubbo said and Tommy nodded.
“Only after I guessed.” Tommy said, his features and tone going soft once more, staring at Tubbo with pure love straight out of a dream.
Tubbo gave a soft smile, “And I’m taking it you aren’t repulsed by the idea then?”
“Of course not.” Tommy lifted Tubbo’s chin and brought their faces close, “I love you, Toby.”
Tubbo let out a breath, “I love you, Toms.”
Tommy pressed their lips together and Tubbo wasn’t sure he had ever seen Tommy that confident but that soft and loving before. It had been a first but never a last.
Tommy learned a few things as well, he would say. He got to learn about some of Tubbo’s fears, something he didn’t think existed.
They had been walking around just for the hell of it. They had gotten plenty of pictures with fans and just got to see parts of the city they didn’t always get to see.
They avoided holding hands to avoid fans taking pictures, no one knew of their relationship. It woulda made things awkward.
They still had a wonderful time, a month into their relationship.
Tommy should have known by the furrowed brows of the people approaching that they didn’t have much good things to say to the two. Hopefully no real trouble would start and they just had a misunderstanding.
“Can we help you?” Tommy asked, Tubbo pocketed his phone from taking a picture of the sunset and brought his attention to the few people in front of them.
“Yeah, actually. You can stop making your shitty content and spreading positive images about being gay. You’re ruining the community for everyone.”
Ah. So they either saw Tubbo and Tommy when they had been in a secluded part of the city finally connecting their hands, or they were just assuming things. Either way, this was not pleasant.
“We are not forcing anyone to feel any sort of way.” Tommy said, “Now if you’ll excuse us.” Tommy turned to leave and felt the main talker of the group grab his shoulder to stop him. This is when Tommy felt Tubbo tense next to him.
He was scared that Tommy was going to get hurt. And now Tommy was worried more about Tubbo being okay than he was about cursing out the weirdos and leaving.
“Get your hand off of me.” Tommy said, his tone going serious quickly. Tubbo wasn’t looking too good at his side right now.
“Or what? You won’t do shit that won’t ruin your reputation.” The guy said.
“Want to make a bet?” Tommy asked and Tubbo just shook his head a bit.
“Toms, let’s go.” Tubbo said softly and Tommy pulled his shoulder away, leading Tubbo away from the group.
“Ah yes, run away with your little boyfriend.” The man taunted and Tommy turned around balling his fists and took a swing, hitting the guy square in the jaw.
Tubbo grabbed Tommy’s wrist and pulled him away before anything else happened. They made it to the park by the ending of the sunset and Tubbo just hugged Tommy. “Never do that again.”
“I’m sorry, Toby.” Tommy said, rubbing his back. “I won’t do something like that again.”
“I can’t let you get hurt, Tommy.” Tubbo said, “I can’t keep you safe if you aren’t safe.”
“I know and I’m sorry.” Tommy was sincere because he really was sorry, he hadn’t meant to scare Tubbo.
That was one of two cases of Tommy scaring Tubbo. The second one was an accident as well. Ranboo was back in the UK to live by this time.
Tommy had been in his and Tubbo’s room while Tubbo was streaming something with Ranboo. Ranboo lived in the flat across from them with Freddie and Bill and Aimsey and Serena lived nearby.
Ranboo and Tubbo were in Ranboo’s flat doing a stream while Freddie and Bill were away.
Tommy had been sleeping, reasonably as it was 3am and there was something wrong with the people he chose to hang around but that was fine.
Tubbo had called Tommy and it woke him up, he assumed the stream was over since he called him using their regular phone numbers and not discord. “Hey, Toby.” Tommy’s voice was soft. As it should be with his boyfriend of almost a year.
“Hey bossman,” okay the stream was surely still going on. Tubbo greeted him with a nasally voice but it was still in ‘streamer mode’.
“Hey, what’s up? You sound like shit again.” Tommy pointed out. As much as he wanted to walk over there across the hall and smother his boyfriend in kisses and cuddles, he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t even keep his voice soft. They still haven’t really announced their relationship.
Sure they weren’t being too discrete about it, and the fans weren’t idiots but they haven’t really announced it outside of their friend group.
“I know it’s late but I used all the cough shit earlier and forgot to run to the shops to get more, can you get me some? The corner store is open all night.”
Tommy was not one for saying no to Tubbo, unless it was important, and he surely wasn’t going to say no when he knew Tubbo had a wild cold.
“Of course b-uuhhhh Bo. Yup. Of course. I’ll get real clothes on and head out in a minute.”
“Thank you so much bossman.” He heard Tubbo snicker a bit at Tommy almost calling him ‘baby’ and Tommy just scoffed.
“I’ll be back in a bit.” The ‘I love you’ was left out but Tubbo knew it was there in the silence.
And Tubbo said it back in silence before ending the call.
Tommy changed into some better clothes and grabbed his keys heading out of the flat and peeked his head into Ranboo’s to blow Tubbo a kiss once he knew he was out of frame.
Tommy went out to his car and drove himself to the store. He grabbed medicine for Tubbo then decided to grab a few snacks and drinks knowing he could use a coke now that he was awake.
Tommy paid for everything and got back to his car driving back to the flat. But things hadn’t gone as planned.
Tubbo got a call an hour later after he had been trying to reach Tommy after Tommy had been gone for longer than necessary. Ranboo had ended the stream while Tubbo worried that something had happened. He had made sure that Tommy didn’t just leave his phone at home.
“Hello?” Tubbo asked, he hadn't recognized the number but knew the area code was in their area.
“Hello, are you Toby Smith?”
“Who’s asking?”
“This is Lucas, I’m from the hospital. We have Tom Simons in here from a car wreck.” Tubbo nearly dropped his phone, “he is okay for the most part, he has a few cuts and a broken arm. The car was taken to a local shop and is not totaled. You’re welcome to come and see him. He will be released once his arm is properly casted.”
Tubbo let out a shaky breath, “I’ll be right over, thank you.” Tubbo hung up the phone, his lungs growing tight.
“Tubs, you need to breathe.” Ranboo said softly and grabbed his keys, “I’ll drive us over there and you can yell at him for being reckless then you guys will laugh it off down the road. The doctor said he was okay, which means he’s okay.”
Tubbo just slowly followed Ranboo out to the car. The ride was silent and Tubbo stayed silent as Ranboo asked to get them to Tommy at the hospital.
Ranboo waited outside the room and Tubbo walked into the room, shutting the door and walking over to the blonde who was playing with the hem of his shirt with his right hand as his left was propped up.
“Tommy..” Tubbo said softly, his body was shaking and his voice was hoarse.
“Come here baby.” Tommy offered his free hand and Tubbo swiftly walked over and hugged Tommy’s torso, letting Tommy rub his arm. “I’m sorry I worried you.”
“I can’t lose you.” Tubbo whispered. “I can’t- and when the guy started talking I thought I did.”
“You won’t lose me, Toby. I’m here to stay forever. I promise.”
“Good.” Tubbo whispered. “You’re on dish duty once you feel better.”
Tommy chuckled and kissed Tubbo on the head, “I think we’ll be needing Ranboo to cook for us for a while. We’re both out of commission, Love.”
Tubbo hummed and sniffled, unsure if it was from his cold or from the tears that had been soaking into Tommy’s shirt.
Tommy never wanted to scare Tubbo like that again.
They had learned those things, those fears, those happy moments. The way Tubbo grew happy with sunsets and sunrises, the way Tommy loved to bake but never did it often in fear of ruining something. The way they could kiss each other and have each kiss be full of deep rooted love.
They knew when each other needed space and they knew when they could act on their ClingyDuo allegations further.
But they were doing a media share stream when they hurt each other next.
There had been really funny clips and the whole cricket crew was there, it was amazing.
Then the video popped up. Mods must not have noticed it or there must’ve been an accident. It was Tommy and Tubbo kissing at the park after one of their dates.
Everyone in the room grew silent as the mods worked through chat as well as they could having it on Emote Only as soon as they could.
Tommy and Tubbo looked awkwardly at each other as the rest of the group waited for what they would do.
They both seemed to hold a conversation without words and are both suddenly leaving the room looking.. angry at each other.
Ranboo muted to the stream, “We should let them talk. You guys know they always avoid fighting, so they’ll talk it out and come back and we can assess the situation. For now I think we should act as if nothing is wrong.”
Everyone agreed because Ranboo was right, Tubbo and Tommy had always been amazingly good at not fighting. Whenever they were close they would just either give each other some space or talk it out.
But that wasn’t happening in their room.
“This isn’t very good.” Tommy said.
“I know that.” Tubbo said, clearly frustrated.
“Toby, this means someone has been following us. There were too many clips for them not to be following us. It was more than just the one kiss, those pictures weren’t good. I could care less about the fans knowing, but we weren’t careful enough not to be followed.” Tommy ran a hand through his hair.
“I know it’s bad but there’s nothing I can do!” Tubbo’s voice raised a bit, he was stressed and not thinking. And neither was Tommy.
“Well we need to figure something out, Toby! This isn’t good! We can’t just act like it didn’t happen! We have to address this.”
“We don’t owe them anything!” Tubbo didn’t notice Tommy’s fidgeting. But Tommy didn’t notice Tubbo’s shortness of breath. “Stop speaking like we’re going to fucking die- or.. or break up! It was some idiot with a camera! We can get over this but you’re making such a big deal out of it.”
“How am I making a big deal out of it!?” Tommy was now shouting as well, “And I never mentioned a break up - unless you really do want that?! Would that make this easier for you, babe .”
Tubbo was yelling. Tommy was speaking of leaving. They both had hit the nail of the worst thing they could do to each other.
“Fuck you!” Tubbo yelled, “You should know that I don’t want that!”
“And you should know not to fucking fight with me! But here we are!” They were both.. crying. But they were so mad at each other and themselves that they couldn’t resolve the issue with a reassuring hug. Tommy turned and left the room, going out to the living room, not caring about his tears. He could handle the weight of the yelling a minute.
“Hey..” Ranboo spoke softly.
“I’m going to Wil’s. We got into a fight.” Tommy watched as Ranboo’s eyes grew wide. He knew by now the fears of the others.
“Should you be leaving though?”
“He fucking yelled at me. Why the fuck not?” Tommy asked. “Just go in there with him. He’ll want you.” Tommy just walked away at that. He just left the flat.
Ranboo made zero hesitation to go to where Tubbo was and someone had ended the stream.
Ranboo joined the rest in his flat after a while. Minutes or maybe even hours. He didn’t really know. But he joined them and spoke nothing of Tubbo or Tommy or what was going on. And no one pried.
Tommy stayed with Wilbur for 3 days. Ranboo didn’t really hear the rest of what happened but Tommy and Tubbo seemed fine a few days after that. Back to being loving with each other.
The two haven’t fought since and vowed that they wouldn’t fight again. Small arguments might arise here and there but never again how that fight was.
They opened up about their relationship to the internet once they made it to a year. Everyone was supportive of them (as to be expected) but still, it was what they needed after the media share incident.
Tubbo learned that Tommy is an amazing baker.
Tommy learned that Tubbo can name most constellations in the sky.
Tubbo learned that Tommy likes using pet names as receiving them but was scared Tubbo didn’t like them for the first while of their relationship.
Tommy learned that Tubbo’s love language is Physical Touch. As was his. (Really speaks wonders on ClingyDuo)
Tubbo learned that Tommy was well knowledgeable in makeup. It took Serena’s concealer before a stream and his neck for Tubbo to find that out. Tommy spent after stream teaching Tubbo about the difference between contour and bronzer. He also taught Tubbo how to do winged eyeliner.
Tommy learned that Tubbo looks beautiful with eyeliner. Tubbo is beautiful all the time, but he holds confidence in getting perfect wings and wearing them.
Tubbo learned that Tommy likes his hair being played with and if it’s played with long enough he’ll start to drift off.
Tommy learned that Tubbo would fix his sleep schedule before Tommy had to leave for days for work stuff just for extra cuddles and morning kisses.
Tubbo learned that Tommy would do anything to make Tubbo comfortable. As Tubbo would for Tommy, but Tommy knew that. Tubbo had learned how far Tommy had taken it.
And that’s how they got where they were now.
Ranboo teaching Tubbo how to tie and tie in a room of a place they had only been in 2 times prior. “Stop fidgeting, you’re perfectly fine.”
“Says the one not having to do anything.” Tubbo shot back and Ranboo cocked a brow and Tubbo apologized, “I’m sorry, I know that you put a lot of time and energy and planning into this for us. I’m just nervous and hope I don’t look stupid. I don’t look stupid right because he will make fun of me.”
Ranboo chuckled and patted Tubbo on the head, “You look amazing, Toby.”
“Oh god you used my real name. It’s serious now.” Tubbo laughed a bit and so did Ranboo.
“I have to head over to the room Tommy is in. Will you be okay? I can send your mom in?”
Tubbo nodded vigorously at the idea of his mom being there and Ranboo nodded, putting his mask back on and heading out to get his Mom before going to the room that Tommy was in.
“Hey Toms.”
“Ranboo! How’s it going man!? The place looks absolutely great by the way. Wilbur sent me pictures.”
“It’s going great, and I figured he would. He was so astonished that I could pull it all together.”
“Thank you for this, really.”
“I’m not the one who assumed my boyfriend didn’t want to ever go anywhere with our relationship because of something he said when he was 17 and thought he would never get to be with the man he loved because that man appeared to be the straightest man to ever live and now we’re both 20.” Ranboo deadpanned and Tommy smacked his arm.
“Hey! I was just looking out for him! I didn’t want him to feel obligated to say yes, but speaking of boyfriends-.” Ranboo made a bunch of noises to cut Tommy’s questions off. Tommy huffed and his breath moved the bits of hair that were on his forehead.
“Yes yes, I know, man. But still.” Ranboo fixed Tommy’s hair, “when I send Wilbur in here you better not let him touch your hair and tell him that if he does I will fucking kill him. Okay?”
“Wait! You’re sending Wil in here!? You can do that!?”
Ranboo laughed, “he’s your best man. Plus, I organized the event, I will do what I want.”
Tommy laughed, “well, I’ll see you out there, running this place like the big man you are.”
Ranboo smiled, “See you out there, man.”
Ranboo made his way out of the room and sent Wilbur in. He made his way out of the building to the beach and took a deep breath. Everything was perfect. His friends could get married with the perfect wedding they deserve.
Tommy made his way to the altar, Ranboo just stayed where the building led to the beach and greeted the wedding party as they made their way down the isle.
Tubbo was last to walk down, his father walking with him. Everyone was in tears.
Tommy learned that Tubbo looked stunning in light blue. Ranboo had chosen the color and it looked amazing.
Tubbo learned that the red tie with Tommy’s suit really pulled the outfit together. Jokes aside the colors did belong to Tommy.
Tubbo and Tommy held hands as the priest spoke to them, they were too busy having one of their secret wordless conversations to care about his blabbering about people being brought together.
Fate may have brought them there but they kept themselves together with patience and growth and love.
Ranboo presented the rings and they got through the important wedding bits with the promises and the world stopping kiss.
The party portion took place on the beach as the sun started to set. The two got to slow dance together and it was widely romantic and just perfect .
“I can’t believe you wouldn’t ask me for a year because you were scared I didn’t want to be tied down.” Tubbo said as their foreheads were pressed together during their dance. They would be talking soft enough that people wouldn’t hear them. They could only see the giant smiles on their faces.
“I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, Love.” Tommy said and Tubbo blushed deep at the name. Tommy’s fond smile turned into a smirk, “You know I’d do anything for you, Baby.” Tommy spoke before spinning Tubbo and dipping him into a kiss.
People cheered for them and more upbeat music started as they made their way to a table. Their hands connected the whole time.
“I love you.” Tubbo said after moments of silence, “Would it be rude if we ran away and went home to cuddle and eat ice cream while watching drama medical shows?”
Tommy laughed, “I love you too baby, and I’m sure Ranboo would let us. We should tell him about the surprise we got him though.”
Tubbo called Ranboo over and he was over in seconds, “yes?”
“Us three are leaving.”
“What- Tubbo you can’t just leave. I can’t just leave with you guys, you literally just got married.”
Tubbo just smiled, “as a thank you for tonight we brought a special someone over from America. They’re in your flat. He just got there a bit ago.”
“Someone special? Who uses he/they prono- oh my god. No fucking way!?” Ranboo’s eyes lit up and Tommy and Tubbo both smiled.
“Yes we did,” Tommy said, “But Toby and I are leaving to home and eat ice cream with drama medical shows and cuddles. Care to head back to the complex with us?”
“Let me go get my coat!” Ranboo was clearly smiling as he ran off.
“I think we did good bringing that fella from America over.” Tubbo said and he stood up, Tommy keeping their hands together as he stood up as well.
“I think we did as well.” Tommy stole Tubbo for another kiss before Ranboo returned and the three made their escape.
Tommy and Tubbo ditching their own wedding was soon all over Twitter and the two just laughed about it.
As long as they had each other, it didn’t matter if they were at that table or on their couch.
They both learned that being together was always going to be more than enough.