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Katniss’s voice finds the nighttime silence: “Peeta?”
“Hum,” he mumbles, taking a few seconds to open his eyes, instinctively tightening his grip on Katniss. “What’s wrong? Nightmare?”
She feels so embarrassed she could shrink into herself and just disappear. Sweet Peeta, finally blissfully asleep with no sight of bad dreams threatening to plague him and Katniss had to go and wake him for no good reason. No good reason at all.
She couldn’t even use the nightmare as an excuse to hide behind. The truth was, the closer the train got to District 12, the closer they were to return to their old routine of politely greeting each other across the Victor’s Village and not speaking unless cameras were present. That meant no more strong arms wrapped around her, beckoning her to drift peacefully into slumber. No more warm chest under her cheek when the only thing that would calm her down after a nightmare was the resonance of his voice.
So, Katniss chose to be momentarily brave, momentarily uninhibited, momentarily impure, going against Peeta’s very own description of her.
“No, no nightmare,” she whispered, trying to hide her face on his arm.
“Then why’d you wake me?” he asked, confused, but still willing to turn on his side, facing her.
“I-” she started, but didn’t know how else to tell him how she felt or why she’d woken him.
It had been on a whim, she knew that. She felt such a deep need to be close to him, closer to him than she’s ever been. Maybe that stemmed from the impending distance arriving home would inevitably bring. Maybe she just felt lonely, and he was a warm body lying right beside her. Or maybe - just maybe - she has always felt this way about the boy with the bread, but life never gave a break that let her feel anything besides fear.
“I know I have no right to ask you this after everything I put you through, but-”
He waited patiently for her to finish, his blue eyes staring deeply into her grey ones in the still of the night. He nodded once, almost imperceptibly so, encouraging her to continue. Emboldened by this, Katniss scooted closer on the bed, shifting her head on the pillow so that their noses were touching, but not their lips. No, she couldn’t kiss him, that wouldn’t be fair.
“Can we just stay like this for a little while?” she whispered, her breath intertwining with his as he exhaled.
Peeta ceased to look at her, letting his eyes fall shut slowly, his eyelashes gently resting on his cheekbones. Even in the dark, she knew every curve of his face, every slope, and every bump.
“I wish we had cameras in here,” Peeta finally said, still not opening his eyes to hers.
That took Katniss by surprise. “Why?” she asked, their lips just a breath apart.
“Because then I could kiss you.”
Oh , she thought. This boy was so good, so very good, and here she was, breaking his heart for the tenth time that day alone. She never wanted to hurt him, never wanted to lie to him ever again. He was too kind, too good, and everything she never could be.
She willed herself to stay put. Maybe he’d fall asleep and, in the morning, they could pretend this never happened, that she never got this close to crossing a line she couldn’t back away from.
But instead, she said: “Just one kiss.”
His eyes shot wide open.
She explained: “Just one kiss. A short one. Is that okay?” She could not look him in the eye. He was fully in his right to reject her, but she was selfish and now the words were said and there was no going back.
“Just one,” he echoed.
Katniss leaned in slowly, touching her lips to Peeta’s in a ghost kiss. Their lips remained on each other, unmoving and closed. Even so, she could feel the heat emanating from him, a feeling she was so accustomed to, so consumed by that she could weep from how safe it made her feel. Until he pulled away.
She blinked once, then twice, suddenly shy and embarrassed that she’d let such a thing happen. But most of all, she was insatiable. That had not been enough, not at all. Not even close. So, she whispered: “Another one?”
Peeta raised his eyebrows and his lip quirked up slightly. Katniss knew he was about to make a joke or profess his undying love for her and, at that moment, she could not decide which was scarier.
So, she was quick to add: “Just thirty seconds.”
His hint of a smile turned into a full grin. Katniss was scared he might admonish her or refuse her, but he stayed silent. She didn’t wait any longer for a response and locked her lips with his again.
This time she parted her lips slightly, as did he, allowing her to trap his bottom lip into her mouth. It felt heavenly. She’d never had the chance to relish this type of moment, when Peeta’s lips were on hers. It seemed there was always someone watching. Except now, there wasn’t.
It seemed the kiss had only just begun when Peeta pulled away for the second time that night. “Thirty seconds,” he told her, that smile never leaving his lips. “Was that enough? Can you go back to sleep now?”
Of course, he knew the answer. No, it had not been nearly enough. If anything, this limited contact had only made Katniss antsier, more restless than before. But she couldn’t admit that to him, could she? So, she resigned to lying. “Yes,” she said.
Peeta raised an eyebrow and asked, “Has anyone ever told you how horrible of a liar you are?”
Before she had time to even process the weight of his words, Peeta spoke again.
“How about I get one minute?” he asked.
She was shocked into silent approval.
Peeta wasted no time placing his hand on her face, cradling her jaw with his thumb, before gluing his lips to hers once again, soft at first. But then, Katniss felt his tongue on her bottom lip, pleading entrance into her mouth. A soft groan formed in the back of her throat, but she paid no mind to that. All she cared about was his tongue on hers, soft and gentle, yet rousing her more than anything ever had. The wet heat from the kiss filtered down her neck and swooped low in her stomach, a feeling she’d only felt once before - in the cave.
After a few moments, Peeta leaned back to breathe once, then twice, just enough time for Katniss to blurt out: “It hasn’t been one minute.”
His breath hit her skin again, and Katniss opened her eyes to see Peeta watching her intently as he went back for more. His tongue slowly traced a trail over her bottom lip before he bit it, pulling the whole thing into his mouth.
Her skin burnt and tingled everywhere, so much so that she almost lost her resolve to stay still and let Peeta take full advantage of his 60 seconds. His eyes stayed open, watching her groan and pant at everything he was doing. He sucked and bit and licked and tugged as she just lay almost under him, with his body hovering above hers, and she didn't move, didn't kiss back - she just let him explore.
Then, he pulled away, with one last, soft kiss to her lips. “Minute,” he panted once, twice, falling back onto the bed beside her. She instantly missed his warmth.