Chapter Text
David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We got to see what our losers were up to while we were gone! Turns out they were reviewing our episodes and contestants, and in the end, Teana was crowned our loser.
Intro
David: Welcome back to Total Drama. This episode, we’ve prepared some bizarre things. For instance, the weather. The rain is exceptionally hard to control. But, we thought our final four had been getting off wayyy too easy. We simply pulled some strings and, voila!
Hard cut to the outside being covered by a few inches of water.
David {PA}: Listen up, campers! One of the most grueling challenges of any summer camp experience is the dreaded rainy day. All activities with even the remotest chance of fun are canceled in favor of the craft tent. Today’s forecast also calls for rain, rain and some more rain. Followed by rain! See you in the crafts tent tomorrow.
Phoebe: Ugh, this is so dumb, right Teana? Teana? Teana, I know you can’t talk but can’t you respond with a sign?
Cut to the guys’ cabin.
Brock: Alright, I’m hitting the sack.
Tobias: Hey, Ben?
Ben: What do you want, Tobias? I’m tired and we have a challenge tomorrow.
Tobias: What do you think Grace is up to?
Ben laughs.
Ben: It’s the middle of the night, why are you thinking about it?
Tobias: Just… thinking about her.
Ben: Yeah, I get what you mean. I miss Pearl. But the thing is, you gotta keep your eye on the ball. Besides, you never know what’s coming next.
Cut to the next day, where the beds are out to sea.
Tobias turns and falls out of bed.
Tobias: What the heck?! How did this happen? Ben! Ben, wake up!
He pushes the bed over, and Ben falls into the water. He reemerges, eyes still shut, pours himself a cup of coffee, which he gets from his nightcap, and wakes up with a fright.
Ben: Why are we in the water?!
Tobias: No! We are not going to simply ignore the fact that you just pulled a coffee maker and a mug out of your nightcap and accept it! How did you do that!
Ben: You know, I always wondered why I wake up with that stuff in-hand. Say, where’s Brock and Phoebe?
Brock: I’m over here. My bunks are surrounded by sharks, so please hurry, if you can.
Tobias: Punch them in the nose, Ben do you have any magnets?
Ben: I have my nightcap, not my hat.
Tobias: Is your hat in your nightcap?
Ben: No. I have a bunch of sleeping bags though!
Phoebe swims over, coughing and hacking.
Phoebe: I nearly drowned! Where’s camp? Where are the cabins? Where’s the anything?!
Cut to everyone at Playa des Losers sitting inside the super nice house.
Woody: This is so neat, it’s like living underwater!
Grace: While that is highly dangerous, it is an intriguing sensation.
Colton: Woah, look at the size of that fish!
Lily: Yeah, don’t worry about Freddie, he’s doing just fine.
Cut to Freddie in the corner rocking back and forth, muttering to himself.
Saul: Whoa, that turtle just obliterated a jellyfish!
Priscilla: So cool!
Charlie: I’ve always wanted to test out speaking to animals.
Pearl: What are you, a Disney princess?
Charlie: You’re a riot. Seriously though, my aunt taught me some dolphin.
Cut to David and Dora walking around the Mess Hall.
David: Hey, Dora? Have you seen the campers?
Dora: Nope. Haven’t even seen their cabins. I’ve peeled that bag of rotten spuds you wanted!
David: Neat. I’m sure the campers will find their way back.
Cut back to the campers, who are swimming away from a shark.
Phoebe: Ben, why did you think that was a smart idea?!
Ben: I thought it wouldn’t see us!
Tobias: Everyone underwater! Quick!
Cut to the Losers, all crowded at the window-wall.
Charlie: Hey, what’s Phoebe doing out there?
Grace: Is Tobias being chased by a shark?!
Pearl: Tell me Ben is safe!
Woody: Nope, he’s being chased. So is Brock.
Teana: How are you so chill about it?
Woody: He’s been in much worse situations. Don’t know why the school thought a bank would be a fun field trip.
Lily: Is everyone in their pjs?
Immediately, Grace’s head, Pearl’s head, and Charlie’s head turn to the window.
Tobias resurfaces, followed by the others.
Brock: I see an island!
Ben: Is it the Total Drama Island?
This earns him a slap to the back of the head.
Ben: Yo, is anyone else a bit uneasy about this deserted island?
Phoebe: It’s obviously a fake set.
Tobias: Let’s be reasonable, we’ve probably drifted downstream.
Brock: Yeah, someone will probably send a search party if not, so let’s just relax.
Ben: Think what you want, but I’m making a raft.
He turns around to see the skull of a giant T. Rex, and faints.
[CON] David: The fakeness of my sets is not “obvious”, I lost at least 10 interns moving that skull, and only three quit! Oh yeah, about that search party, not gonna happen. [END]
Cut to camp.
David: Guess craft day is canceled. I’m starving, let’s eat.
Dora: You actually wanna eat this slop?
David: No, I wanna eat the breakfast buffet back at our RV. First one there gets the last cinnamon roll!
[CON] Ben: So there I was, making an uncharacteristically smart choice, and nobody was with me! [END]
Ben: It’s really lucky that there are enough logs for me to make a raft.
Brock: If you’re so dead-set on the idea, why not just swim?
Ben: Because my arms are tired from the whole shark chase ordeal.
Tobias: It’s your fault we were chased!
Phoebe: What’s with the purse?
Tobias: It’s a satchel, and I’m heading back to camp. I found a river.
Brock: I’m telling you, search party!
Phoebe: Well, I’m gonna look for Charlie’s Cove.
Ben: Oh yeah, that thing exists.
Tobias: May the smartest person survive.
Brock: So long! I’ll miss you all when you’re gone! {To self} I’m just gonna work on my tan.
Ben: I wonder if the search party I send when I reach the mainland will find a skeleton?
Brock makes a mocking noise.
Cut to camp.
David: Ah, brunch. Such a civilized meal, don’t you think? You got breakfast out of the way, but you aren’t ready for lunch.
Dora: I like to think I’ve outdone myself here.
Flash to Dora playing limbo as David rests with a hat over his eyes.
Dora: Ah, fun in the great outdoors. Too bad the interns are missing out, eh?
David: Yep. Just us and the serenity of nature.
Tobias: I finally found the main island! Should I get the others?
David: Whuh?
Phoebe: And we’re back! Oh, hey Tobias!
Ben: Left! Right! Left! Right! Land! Sweet, sweet land! Oh, hey guys!
Brock: Ah, what a nice day. Oh. Well, there goes my nature walk.
David: And there goes Dora and I’s day of peace.
Tobias: Man, I’m hungrier than I thought.
Ben: Don’t worry, I think I got some candy in my hat.
David: That’s it! Today’s a non-elimination episode. Please go back to your cabins.
Brock: Those suckers are beached somewhere on the mainland.
David: You know what?! This episode is done. We got our drama, David Lee out.
Dora: Wait!
David: What?
Dora: We still need content!
David: Fine. Let’s roll the final four’s audition tapes.
AUDITION TAPE 1: PHOEBE JOHNSON
Phoebe: Hi! My name is Phoebe Johnson, I’m 16 as of the time I record this, and I’d really love to be on a TV show. I’d like to think that I’d make a lot of friends, but I’d probably get out to a tiebreaker or something along those lines. I really hope you guys pick me for the show, and I’ll see you soon if I do!
AUDITION TAPE 2: BROCK WHELAN AND WOODY WHELAN
Woody: Hi, we’re the Whelan brothers!
Brock: I’m Brock, and this is Woody, my little brother. We’re 17 and 15.
Woody: Respectively. We’re super excited to join if we have the chance!
Brock: I’m mainly coming along to make sure Woody doesn’t get hurt.
Woody: We can’t wait to compete!
Brock: Don’t let us down.
Brock and Woody: Pick us, Total Drama!
AUDITION TAPE 3: BENJAMIN CAMPBELL
Ben: Hey, I’m Benjamin Campbell, I’m 16, and call me Ben. Now, why do I think I should be on Total Drama? Well, why not? I got loads of tricks up my sleeve, and my hat too! I got it from my Grandpa before he passed away when I was 10, but it seems to be able to hold anything. So yeah, why not pick me?
AUDITION TAPE 4: TOBIAS BALL
Tobias: Greetings, cast-picker for Total Drama! No, that’s not it. Hi! I’m Tobias Ball, 16. Actually, everyone’s probably doing that. Ah, it doesn’t matter. I’d like to join Total Drama! My intellect would make me quite a competitor, with nothing to distract me. I’d be a good choice.
Outro