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Chapter Text

David: Welcome! To the country’s new hottest reality TV show! 22 campers have unwittingly signed up to stay at this crappy summer camp (we told them it was a 5-star resort) to compete in this reality show.

David: First introducing… Phoebe Johnson!

Phoebe: Hi! Erm--- am I the first one here?

David: Yes indeed!

Phoebe: Okay… what’s with Camp Crud over here?

David: Next up… Charlie Lancaster!

Charlie: Hi David- woah! 

Charlie flies over the boat’s railing, hits his chin on the dock, & sinks.

Phoebe: Oh my gosh! 

Phoebe dives for & saves him

Charlie: thanks *cough*

Phoebe: Oh, it was no problem! 

Phoebe blushes

David: Please welcome… Grace Bull!

Grace: Greetings, I  assume this is not where we’re staying?

David: Oh it is… huhah… huhaha

Grace: That is not what was--

Phoebe: Just… let it go… you’re lucky to have been answered.

David: Now introducing… Natalie Stephens!

Natalie: Hi… I’m Natalie.

Charlie: [dripping sarcasm] Quiet down, I think I can hear you.

David: Please, a round of applause for… Flo Jones

Flo: Thank you, thank you, I’ll sign autographs later!

Natalie: She seems… a bit overconfident…

Charlie: Try it again. Louder. 

Natalie has a look of embarrassment on her face. Charlie notices.

Charlie: Ah, don’t worry, I’m just giving you grief.

David: Say hi to… Edgar Rodriguez

Edgar: Please don’t. I’m already getting a headache.

David: Here comes… Colton White!

Colton: Who’s ready to get decimated in the competition?

Edgar: Why? Where’s the guy that’ll win it all?

David: Incoming… the Whelan brothers, Brock & Woody!

Woody is nearly tipping off the boat, & Brock is holding onto him by his hood.

Brock: Don’t worry little bro, I got you!

Woody: *hoarse* Thanks.

Phoebe: They seem nice, if not a bit… dysfunctional

David: Watch out - we’re about to see a rare… Benjamin Campbell!

Ben: Woo! 

Ben falls off of the boat & lands on his face.

Ben: I’m okay!

Brock: Haha, tell that to your smile, bro!

Ben picks up a tooth, likely his from when he fell.

David: With that out of the way… Priscilla Garcia-Stewart is here!

Priscilla: Hi-guys! Er, I think I missed some-thing…

Woody: You missed someone break his face.

Priscilla: Oh.

David: Thanks for that… oh, it looks like Saul Hill is here.

Saul: Don’t annoy me… got it?!

Colton: ‘sup?

David:... Wow, would you look at that, how are you Lily Warren?

Lily: I’m doing extremely well Mr. David!

Flo: (coughing) Goody two-shoes!

David: That was lame… I wonder if our next contestant will be a bit more interesting… Tobias Ball!

Tobias: That brake was too hard, if we went even one kilometer per second faster, we could’ve crashed!

Ben: And in American that is?

Tobias & Grace: Approximately 2236.94 miles per hour, and it’s customary as opposed to metric. *realization* *gasp*

David: Not the type of interest I was looking for… please help with this, Ms. Beryl Davis!

Beryl: Hoi Doivid!

Natalie: What’s with her accent?

Charlie: [whispering] That’s rude Natalie!

David: huh… Freddie Lopez, welcome!

Freddie: Don’t touch the water, don’t touch the water, don’t touch the water!

Colton: That seems like a stupid fear.

Freddie: Why don’t you sh-sh-shu-shut it?

David: There’s our interest! My greetings to Rocky Moore!

Rocky: Aww, I think I’m gonna be seasick! *barf*

Lily: Quite literally, sick.

David: Aw dude! Howdy, King twins… Pearl and Mia everybody.

Pearl: (to Mia) Oh my gosh he’s so cute!

Mia: The one missing a tooth?

Ben observes said tooth

Pearl: Yes!

Match: Huh… okay?

David:... Amazing, you are… Irene Chase, correct?

Irene: Yea-ah?

Woody: Brock, don’t you dare go over there.

David: Okay, say hello to Teana Smith…

Teana stands there silently for an uncomfortable amount of time.

David: and Spaulding Adams.

Spaulding: Hiiii!

Pearl: Fatso.

Spaulding: What?

Mia: Nothing.

David: And so, our cast is complete. Now, time to make teams! Go unpack, and then meet me by the campfire in ten minutes.

Transition to campfire

Charlie: So, uh, I’d just like to thank you for stopping me from drowning.

Phoebe: Oh, it was no problem, really.

[CON] Phoebe: So… Charlie! He seems super nice if not a little… rude. But I’m sure he means well! I hope he means well. [END]

Phoebe: It’s common human decency, and since I was the only one there, it made sense. 

Charlie: Oh, yeah, I guess that’s true.

[CON] Charlie: I feel so stupid. Of course she’d save me, what kind of terrible human being wouldn’t save another one?! [END]

David: Alright! So, here are our teams for the show! When I call your name, stand up and head to my left. Colton, Grace, Freddie. Spaulding, Charlie, Rocky. Priscilla, Tobias, Phoebe. Edgar and Lily. I dub thee, the Screaming Gophers!

Spaulding grabs the banner.

Charlie walks in front of it.

Charlie: Why are they screaming?

David: Because of our next team! Ben, Woody, Saul. Pearl, Natalie, Flo. Mia, Irene, Brock. Teana and Beryl. You are the Killer Bass!

Saul grabs their banner.

Natalie: That doesn’t make any sense…

David: Alright, that is that, so head to the mess hall.

Cut to the mess hall, as Dora, the camp chef, serves Lily.

Lily: This doesn’t look…

Lily then catches Dora’s death glare & goes to sit down.

Nothing notable happens until the last person in line arrives.

[CON] Charlie: I’m an ovo-pescetarian. I’m essentially a vegetarian that can eat eggs and fish. I’ve only known like, four other people that are ovo-pescetarian, so, I usually just get vegetarian stuff. [END] 

As Dora serves Charlie his Sloppy Joe(?) this exchange occurs.

Charlie: Can I get something vegetarian?

Dora takes the scoop, mimics the act of throwing sloppy joe on the plate & the sloppy joe flies back into the scoop.

Charlie: Thaanks. 

Dora: If you don't like it go get some lettuce, Nature Boy.

Charlie: Maybe I will.

He promptly puts down his plate & nearly exits the hall until David enters.

David: Welcome to the mess hall!

Charlie: Hey David, do you think we could get like a pizza or something?

A cleaver flies past his head, garnering this:

Charlie: You think you could pipe down? I’m trying to talk to somebody here!

David: Anywho, your first challenge begins in an hour.

Woody: I wonder what it’ll be?

Brock: Worry not little brother. What’s the worst that it could be?

Cut to the top of the cliff, showing all of the contestants in swimsuits.

Charlie: Holy--

David: Ladies and gentlemen, teens from ages 15-17,  welcome to your first challenge!

Edgar: Which is?

David: Well that, dear cynic, is three mini-challenges. Jump from this 1,000-foot-tall cliff into the lake. The inner circle is safe. The outer circle is full of psychotic, man-eating sharks. After that, you will need to move some crates from the beach to just outside your cabin. Open them, and you will build a hot tub. Whoever makes the best hot tub wins, AND! As a bonus, you will get to keep using the hot tub for the rest of the show! Killer Bass, you’re up first.

Natalie: all right: So who’s going--

Ben runs by her & jumps into cannonball position.

Flo: Looks like Ben will be.

Natalie (mildly upset she didn’t finish her sentence): Oh.

Ben: I made it!

Natalie: Uhh, I guess I’ll go next.

Brock: I’m next! Just gotta get a running start…

Brock runs… & forgets to jump. Cut to him flailing around in the air & screaming. 

Woody: Nuh-uh. No way am I jumping THAT FAR.

Teana, with some index cards she brought, writes this: It’s into the water you baby. Just jump it.

Woody: I-I can’t!

David: Well then Woodchuck, looks like you’ll be wearing a chicken hat for the rest of the day.

Woody: Aw, what!

David: Buck buck buh gawk! That means the chicken’s exit is that-a-way.

David points to a nearby escalator.

Woody: Aw man. 

The rest of the team teases him by making chicken noises.

Saul: I’m next.

After a splash is heard, Teana runs & dives off the cliff.

Flo: Guys, we have to go.

Pearl: No way.

Mia: Hold on, maybe we should, if we lose we might be targets.

Pearl: Fine

The two jump.

Irene: Come on Beryl, let's go.

Irene drags Beryl off the cliff.

Beryl: Woit!

Flo: Alright Flo, you got this, it’s just a 1,000-foot drop which you may not survive.

Flo: Okay!

Cut to Flo on the escalator with a dejected look on her face wearing a chicken hat.

David: Alright Gophers, if you can do it with less chickens we’ll throw in a cart to carry your crates.

Charlie: Neat.

Edgar: Alright, let’s start.

Edgar leaps.

Freddie: Nah man, I can’t do this. I’m terrified of the ocean.

Colton: THIS early?! Y’know what? I’ll show ya how it’s done.

Priscilla: Erm, who-wants-next?

Cut to a wide shot of the others standing around. (Background: Freddie headed down the escalator.)

Priscilla: Fine.

Phoebe: I guess I’LL go after.

Charlie: Me next.

Charlie leaps & lands in the big circle.

Most of the contestants & David himself yell at him to “MOVE! QUICK! THE SHARKS ARE COMING!”

Charlie looks into the water… & does not freak out.

The Sharks corner him & he promptly tells them to

Charlie: Sit. Now. Good sharks!

This stupefies everyone.

[CON] Charlie: I’ve always had a way with animals. Specifically wild animals. [END]

Cut to Charlie riding a shark like a surfboard. He gets off, & says.

Charlie: Who’s a good shark? Who’s a good sharky-shark?

Phoebe: What was that?!

Charlie: Idunno. {To shark} Hey!

Cut to Tobias in the outer circle flailing because he didn’t jump, rather the cliff under him gave out.

Charlie: Nooo. No maiming contestants!

Grace also leaps in the outer circle. The shark goes for her but stops? They seem to hide behind Charlie.

Charlie: Hey, why did you scare the sharks?

Grace: They weren't scared, rather they were--

Cut to the others looking confused.

Grace (obviously annoyed): Shark not like magnet.

She then produces a pair of magnets.

Brock: You just had those?

Grace: I hid them in my hair.

Flo: Why your hair?

Grace: I don’t have pockets.

Rocky walks onto the screen, spits out a comical amount of water, & falls over.

Spaulding: Looks like it’s all up to me. Oh boy.

[CON] Grace: Considering Spaulding’s… mass, combined with--[END]

[CON] Phoebe: I don’t like to sound mean, but I’m looking at him and thinking “He dies here.” [END]

Spaulding: Wuah!

David: And that gives the Screaming Gophers the advantage!

Cut to the Gophers celebrating. Edgar gives a signature look of superiority, Charlie & Phoebe hug before realizing it’s awkward & stop, & Spaulding jumps for joy.

David: You guys can now start on the second part of the challenge.

Cut to the Gophers. Spaulding, Edgar, Charlie, & Tobias drag the wagons full of crates, with Phoebe & Grace sitting on the aforementioned crates whilst the others walk, & the whole team is singing

All: 89 bottles of tea on the wall, 89 bottles of tea! Take one down, pass it around, now there’s 88 bottles of tea on the wall!

Now to the Bass. Most are pushing, but Brock & Saul are carrying their crates. Teana suddenly flinches.

Woody: What happened?

Teana promptly writes this: I got a splinter.

Woody: Are you okay?

{Writer’s note, whenever Teana writes something, I’ll put it the way someone else will speak.}

Teana: I’m fine.

Woody: Oh. Got it.

Brock: Somebody has a cru-ush.

Woody: What?! No I don’t!

Brock: I’m your older brother. I’ve known you for your whole life. I know your tells.

Woody: I have tells?

Brock: How do you think I’ve consistently managed to Plus 2 you whenever we play Uno?

Woody: Oh my god, I have tells.

Brock: So! I got some tips & tricks.

Woody: I don’t want them.

Brock: Why?

Woody: You rebounded a weekend after a breakup.

Brock opens his mouth, waits for a second, then closes it.

Charlie: Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached the campgrounds.

Tobias: Huh. I thought it would be a much longer walk.

Ben: Hold on, why don’t we stack the crates and then push those?

Natalie: Because that’ll make it harder.

Ben: No, I mean stacks of 2, a team of two!

Natalie: I guess that could work.

Cut to Gophers.

David: Remember! You have to open the crate using your teeth!

Cut to Rocky, who had just opened a crate, nearly gets hit in the head by a rogue hammer.

Grace: Rocky, are you okay?

Rocky: Not really.

Back to Bass.

David: You guys are really far behind.

Ben: They keep shutting down my ideas.

Woody: They won’t work.

Ben: You don’t know that.

Flo: We wasted like 5 minutes trying three of your ideas.

Ben: Quiet, chicken!

Natalie: Guys, let’s double-time it!

Irene: I am!

Back to Gophers.

Edgar: Pool liner!

Phoebe: Engine! ...Thing?

Priscilla: I got wood. Neat.

Charlie: Yo, Rocky Balboa, still got the hammer?

Rocky: My last name is Moore, but yeah.

Needle: We made it!

Pearl: We’re making the entirety of it?! I thought we were just building the outside!

Mia: This is going to suck.

Cut to a montage of the Gophers getting along, & the Bass barely qualifying as a team. Edgar & Charlie swap a wrench & hammer. But Brock, distracted by something Woody is saying, holds his hammer haphazardly. Ben mistakes this for handing it to him, & tries to snatch it, the two get in a fight. Phoebe & Grace are running to & fro from the lake to the hot tub. Woody accidentally splashes water onto Irene & she starts berating him. Freddie puts the finishing touches on the tub… & Flo desperately tries taping the leaks to fix them.

Cut back to David looking at the two tubs

David: I think we have a clear winner here!

Both teams look on in anticipation.

David: The Screaming Gophers! 

Celebrations arise from the Gophers & Charlie & Phoebe hug again.

David: Killer Bass, what can I say? It must suck to be you guys. With your free time, discuss who you guys want to go.

Woody: Flo! Flo!

Flo: What’s up?

Woody: Can we team up? We’re likely to be targeted by the others, so I thought we could work together to keep us both in the game.

Flo: Alright, but we might need more people.

Woody: I can get my brother to help me! And he seems to get along with Ben pretty well.

Flo: Alright, but we need two more votes. Maybe Pearl and Mia?

Woody: Yeah. Who should we target?

Flo: Irene seems too quiet. She’s up to something.

Woody: Now that’s a bold assumption! Teana is super quiet too, but--

Flo: Pretty sure Teana can’t talk.

Woody: Oh.

Cut to Woody talking to his brother.

Woody: Brock!

Brock: What’s up little buddy?

Woody: Could you vote Irene with me? Maybe get Ben to help you?

Brock: Shadow alliance, huh?

Woody: Just for this vote.

Brock: Alright. I’ll get Ben to help you with your conundrum.

Flo: Hey, King twins!

Mia: Yeah?

Pearl: What do you want?

Flo: Your vote. Vote for Irene tonight, she’s too big of a risk.

Pearl: How?

Flo: She’s too quiet, but she can talk. She’s planning something.

Mia: Ok, sure.

Cut to Brock confronting Ben

Brock: Yo! Ben!

Ben: Uh-huh?

Brock: You cool with voting Irene?

Ben: I dunno… I was thinking of voting for Flo.

Brock: Irene would probably be a better vote, plus it could earn you the trust of Pearl. I heard she’s voting for Irene too.

Ben: Alright.

Cut to later in the night, at the Campfire Ceremony.

David: Campers, at normal summer camps, marshmallows are a treat, representing good times, with people you like. At this camp, marshmallows represent life. The first four safe are Natalie,

[CON] Natalie: He seems like the weakest link. [END]

David: Teana,

[CON] Teana: He needs to back off. [END]

David: Beryl,

[CON] Beryl: Shoi just soims loike the smoirtest pick. [END]

David: and Saul.

[CON] Saul: He’s too weak. [END]

David: Also safe, Brock, Mia, Ben, and Pearl. Flo, you’re safe with only one vote.

Flo: Yes!

David: Our bottom two. The final one safe is…

Cut to Woody and Irene, both with scared looks on their faces.

David: Woody.

Woody: Yes!

Irene: WHAT?! This is an outrage!

David: Tell that to the shadow syndicate you organized your elimination.

Irene: I want revenge! REVENGE!

She is dragged down the dock of shame, & thrown on the boat of losers.

Cut to her on the Boat of Losers.

Irene: I guess I could’ve done more for my team… this sucks because I didn’t get to do anything really.

Woody: Hey, thanks for helping with the vote.

Flo: No problem. Wanna keep working together on the votes?

Woody: Yeah. It’d be good to have an ally I can count on.

David: That’s interesting, huh? Tune in next time for more thrills, more suspense, & more odd deals, on Total Drama Island!

Chapter Text

David: Last time, on Total Drama Island! Two teams were formed, a rivalry ignited, & an alliance was made. What’ll happen this time? Stay here to find out, on Total Drama Island!

Intro.

“I Wanna Be Famous” plays.
The camera flies throughout the camp, nearly knocking David out of his chair. It goes down a cliff and into the water, where Spaulding swims around. Pan above water, where Woody, Teana, and Brock sit in a canoe. An eagle snatches a nearby fish, where the camera follows. Cut to Beryl, Natalie, and Flo in a forest. The eagle drops a fish nearby, making a skunk spray Natalie, and Beryl get attacked by a nearby deer. Neither look too happy. Pan to a canoe above a waterfall, where Lily jabbers away as Freddie looks around nervously. Cut to a log being suspended… haphazardly, with Phoebe sitting in the center. In the background Freddie and Lily fall. Charlie swings on screen using a vine before it snap, where he lands on the log which breaks. Pan to inside the mess hall where Grace and Tobias are talking to each other, looking flustered, before gruel is slid in between them. Pan to Irene and Rocky arm wrestling. Irene wins. Pan outside to the beach, where Ben and Pearl are talking. Pan to the dock, where Saul is bench pressing Edgar, who’s reading a book out loud. Pan to the sun, which changes to the evening moon. Cut to everyone around the campfire, with Colton and Priscilla leaning closer together until Mia pops up between them, ruining the moment. Everyone whistles the last verse of “I Wanna Be Famous”

Cut to David with an air horn & megaphone. He puts the air horn behind the megaphone & plays the air horn. This wakes up everyone.

Many people, after changing clothes, emerge from the cabins. Charlie, however, walks in from the woods.

Phoebe: Did you sleep in the woods?!

Charlie: Yeah. I even made a little spider friend along the way. Why?

Phoebe: Where? Those woods look like they’re uninhabitable.

Charlie: They are. Mostly. But I found this nice little cove, perfect for all human needs.

Phoebe: Huh.

David: Shush-uh. This challenge comes in two parts. The first part? A one-kilometer run around the lake!

Charlie: Good thing I already had breakfast.

Lily: Well the rest of us haven’t!

David: Don’t worry. You’ll have breakfast. Huhah… huhaha

Rocky: That doesn’t sit well with me.

Teana: Does anything?

Rocky: Not really…

Cut to the starting point in the race. Everyone readies up.

David: Ready… set… go!

Rocky, Charlie, Brock, & Saul take off… but people like Woody, Beryl, & the twins hardly move at all.

Rocky: Ah! So… far… away!

Natalie: You good dude?

Rocky: No!

Natalie: Sorry, I can’t help right now, but I will once I finish the challenge.

Colton: I’m gonna get there before you!

Freddie: No you aren’t!

Priscilla {To Edgar}: Is that nor-mal for Am-er-i-cans to do?

Edgar: Only when people have a fierce rivalry. It also makes for good entertainment.

Priscilla: It seems un-heal-thy.

Edgar: Ehh, it’ll be fine.

Cut to the mess hall. Several people have arrived, being Grace, Priscilla, Tobias, Colton, Freddie, Brock, Saul, Pearl, Ben, Teana, & Beryl. 

Phoebe & Charlie burst in carrying Spaulding.

Charlie: Clear a table! Stat!

Woody & Flo walk in after them.

Woody: It feels like my lung exploded!

Flo: Does anyone have anything to help?

Brock: He doesn’t have asthma, he’s just underweight. Give him a while.

Lily: Made it!

Rocky speeds in after her.

Rocky: I think my appendix burst!

After about 10 more minutes, Mia runs in, barely beating Edgar.

The Bass celebrate. The Gophers complain. Spaulding even wakes up at this news.

Charlie: Great going Edgar, you blew it!

Spaulding: Now we have a disadvantage!

Edgar: You can’t talk… you had to be carried here.

Rocky: At least he made it!

David: Ladies and gentlemen, have this, whether you won or not!

David pulls a rope behind him to reveal a buffet with several turkeys. (Turkey makes you sleepy. Remember this.)

[CON] Natalie: After a week’s worth of amazingly bad camp food, the buffet table almost made me cry. [END]

[CON] Ben: And then I saw it. The buffet table. It had the BEST food after seemingly weeks worth of prison food. [END]

Cut to everyone around the picked-to-the-bones buffet table except Charlie.

[CON] Charlie: The only real thing I could’ve eaten was some of the 5 different casseroles or beans or eggs. I despise casserole. [END]

David: Alright, time for the second part of the challenge.

Rocky: I thought eating was the second part!

Edgar: Nope, because that would be too easy.

Ben: Why?!

Edgar: Because he’s sadistic.

Brock: Dude has a point.

David: The final part of the challenge is the Awake-a-thon! 

Pearl: That does not bode well.

David: It shouldn’t. All you have to do is have one of your members stay awake the longest.

Timeskip

David: We are now 12 hours in, with all 21 campers still awake.

Lily: Stay awake for 12 hours? I could do that in my sleep!

Lily instantly passes out.

The scoreboard reads 10-10

[CON] Colton: The awake-a-thon was brutal. [END]

Rocky: I’m so bored.

Charlie is seen with the spider he found.

Phoebe: What kind of spider is that?

Charlie: Black widow.

Phoebe: Wait, aren’t those things like, mega-poisonous?!

Charlie: Only if you anger them. Her name is Alice.

Phoebe: Neat.

[CON] Phoebe: What the heck?! He’s treating that thing that could kill him at its own will like it’s his pet! [END]

Woody: So, who do you think would be the smartest pick next time we’re up?

Flo: Whoever fails the team. The closer we get to the merge, the more we’ll consider getting rid of stronger people.

Woody: Understood.

Timeskip 2: Electric Boogaloo

David: We have now made it to the 24-hour mark. We are at this point, I hate to say; fairy tales.

Brock: You’re kidding.

David (calmly): Once upon a time… there was, inside this very boring kingdom, a very boring village. And inside this very boring village, filled with very boring children, who did very boring things…

Ben stretches and yawns, Pearl rubs her eyes, and Woody relaxes his shoulders. On the other team, Freddie nearly falls over, Tobias readjusts his glasses to have something to focus on, and Edgar cracks his knuckles. Saul passes out.

[CON] Saul: As an athlete, it’s really important to make sure you get adequate sleep. So yeah, I might’ve passed out. [END]

[CON] Natalie: I figured that, if I kept moving, I’d stay awake longer than the rest of them. [END]

Colton: So…

Priscilla: Oh, hi Col-ton!

Colton: Howdy Pris. Mind if I call you Pris?

Priscilla: It’s fine.

Colton: Yeah… if it’s not a sensitive topic, do you have-

Priscilla: A Speech im-ped-i-ment? No. I’m just new to spea-king eng-lish.

Colton: Really?

Priscilla: Yeah, my mot-her is Span-ish but my fat-her is French. I grew up speaking both, and eng-lish is my third lan-guage.

Colton: Huh, that’s neat. But don’t worry, I’ll always be around to help, like conjugating the verbs and stuff.

Priscilla: Thanks, Colton.

Colton: No prob, Pris.

Priscilla: Hey, look!

Charlie and Phoebe have passed out with their heads against each other.

Colton: Adorable.

Priscilla: Sur-pris-ing that they still aren’t dat-ing.

Colton: No way!

Pan to Ben standing tall, arms crossed, unblinking.

Colton: Haha, no way!

Priscilla: Ben, are you aw-ake?

Colton: Yo, dude’s eyelids are painted!

Priscilla: How can you tell?

Colton then proceeds to poke Ben’s eyelids.

David: No shot! Dude, you’re out.

Ben: Man.

MEGA TIMELAPSE: DAY 3 OF AWAKE-A-THON

Still awake are Teana, Priscilla, Freddie, Grace, and Brock. David walks by with a coffee.

Brock: Dude! Dude, you gotta give us a coffee or something, I’m dying.

David: Fine. You five, stay with me, the rest of you, go get breakfast, you babies.

There is a mass shuffling as everyone leaves.

Colton: You got this Pris!

David: I didn’t want it to come to this. I said that to Dora, I said “Dora, I don’t want it to come to this.” But darn it, you guys are just too persistent! So I have come up with the most boring, sleep-inducing activity I can find.

Freddie: That being…?

David: The History of Canada, a pop-up book. Chapter One: The Beaver. A national symbol, and a “dam” fine hat.

Grace: Oh dear.

Fast forward. It’s Teana, Grace, and Priscilla.

Grace: I can’t go on. Win this, Priscilla.

Grace falls off her stump, and fast asleep.

Priscilla: Oh. No.

Speed up to hour 86.

David: Which, of course, was the precursor leading to the discussions leading to the War of 1812.

Teana raises a white flag (stolen napkin) and then, Teana falls.

David: Priscilla wins it for the Gophers! Meaning the Bass will attend their second elimination ceremony in a row. 

The Bass complain again.

Cut to Campfire Ceremony

David: Bass, welcome back.

Saul: Cram it.

David: When I call your name, you are safe. Woody, Natalie, Beryl. Brock, Ben, Flo. Twins. Now we are down to our bottom 2. Saul and Teana. The first and last to fall asleep. In a 6-5 vote, Saul…

Cut to both Saul and Teana looking scared and desperate.

David: You are safe.

Teana is too stunned to move. Dora picks her up by her shirt collar and carries her away.

On the Boat of Losers. 

Teana: I guess it’s my own fault. I screwed my team over. 

Flo: Hey, Woody, you good?

Woody: Yeah, just wish that

Flo: She stayed?

Woody: Yeah. It sucks that we couldn’t get Saul out.

David: Well! Remember: Tune in next time for more Total, Drama, Island!

Chapter Text

David: Last time, on Total Drama Island! Our teams competed in the awake-a-thon! An 86-hour-long competition of “Who can stay up the longest?” In the end, Teana ruined it for her team and was promptly sent home because of it. Who will screw their team over, and why will it be the Bass? Find out RIGHT NOW, on Total, Drama, Island!

Intro.

Cut to the mess hall and all of the Gophers being tired, Freddie especially. The exceptions are Charlie and Spaulding.

Woody: Hey Gophers, you good?

Colton: Not really. Spaulding was snoring.

Lily: We could hear it through the walls.

Freddie: Doesn’t help that I’m his bunk-mate and I was the third placing Gopher in the last challenge.

Priscilla is looking past everything and zoned out.

Colton: Hey, Priscilla… Pris, are you there?

Priscilla: Si! Erm, I mean, yes, I’m here.

Colton: Not all the way.

Priscilla: Huh?

Colton: You aren’t concentrating. You’re zoned out.

Priscilla: Well, I’m sort-a ti-red, but on the bright side, I got a good sleep!

Colton: How? Didn’t you hear Spaulding’s snoring?

Priscilla: Hon-est-ly, it rem-in-ded me of home.

Colton: Huh.

Phoebe: Charlie, How are you so energized?

Charlie: I slept in Charlie’s Cove.

Phoebe: What?

Charlie: It’s what I named the cove I found.

Phoebe: How deep in the woods is it?! I got out of bed to go to the bathroom and heard it!

Charlie: It’s deep enough.

Phoebe: That’s vague.

Charlie: If you need to know because of a challenge or something, I’ll tell you.

Phoebe: Amazing. I_T

David: Good morning campers! I assume you all had a good night’s sleep?

General griping from the Gophers.

Bass: Yeah, it was fine, etc.

David: Good! Because it’s time for the next challenge.

Cut to everyone in a big, plexiglass box.

David: Today’s challenge is a good, old-fashioned game of dodgeball!

Charlie: Sweet! My agility will be useful!

Phoebe: You don’t have to explain the challenge.

David: Au contraire. We’re doing things a bit differently. First off; if you get hit with a ball, you are out.

David throws a ball at Natalie, who gets hit.

David: Natalie, throw it to me.

Natalie throws the ball.

David: If the person you are throwing the ball at catches the ball, you are out, and the catcher gets to bring someone on their team back into play. You can also use a ball to deflect a ball. Like this!

Dora throws a ball at David, who blocks with his ball, sending it to Charlie. He ducks and the ball hits Lily in the gut.

Lily: OH! That was a suckerball…

David: There can be five members on the court at a time. Gophers, you have two extra people, so two people will sit it out each time.

Colton: Priscilla and Freddie.

David: Let me finish. It also has to change each time. Those sitting out will be on the top of the bleachers.

Challenge Start. Round 1. Gophers: Charlie, Lily, Colton, Grace, and Phoebe. Bass: Ben, Woody, Natalie, Flo, and Brock.  

Woody is the first to throw… and fail. Grace promptly grabs the ball and throws it at Woody.

[CON] Woody: I admit, dodgeball wasn’t my best performance… [END]

Brock: Good job. 

Woody: Thanks.

Brock throws the ball, taking Grace out. Charlie and Phoebe both throw and hit Brock.

Charlie: Okay, great.

Phoebe: Oops.

Flo: Don’t worry!

Flo throws at Lily, who gets another ball to the gut.

One round later, everyone on the Bass are out.

Natalie: Bass, huddle up! Who’s going this round?

Woody: I’ll go again!

Natalie: No way. You got folded like an omelet last round.

Woody: Aww.

Natalie: You'd be best as a distraction, which we don’t need.

Ben: Then I’ll go again.

Natalie: So will I. Twins, you gotta help.

Brock: I’ll go again.

Round 2. Gophers: Edgar, Lily, Charlie, Freddie, and Phoebe. Bass: Ben, 

Brock, Natalie, Pearl, and Mia.  

Brock: Alright, let’s go all out!

Brock promptly gets a ball to the heels.

Ben throws at Lily. Another stomach strike.

Another match of chaos, the Bass lost again, although at a much slimmer margin. Only Phoebe remained.

Natalie: Alright, This was a lot closer than last time. Maybe if we-- Saul, wake up!

Saul: What? Huh?

Flo: Were you asleep the entire match?!

Saul: Yes?

Natalie: Saul, you are going to participate in all of the remaining matches.

Saul: On one condition; you follow my strategy.

Flo: What is it?

Saul: I call it; Rush the New Guy.

Round 3. Gophers: Spaulding, Lily, Charlie, Rocky, and Phoebe. Bass: Ben, Beryl, Pearl, Flo, and Saul. 

Flo gathers the balls, distributes them, and everyone throws them at Spaulding.

Slo-mo of Spaulding getting hit. It happens again, this time to Phoebe. To Edgar. To Lily, all four hit her in the stomach. All down to Charlie. He dodges three of the balls, backflipping to avoid the last. He gets taken out of the air by the fourth. The ball hits him in the back of the head, turning his backflip into a frontflip, and he lands flat on his face.

David: Ooh! That one’s worth the instant replay. Forward, rewind. Forward, rewind. Okay, that’s enough.

Poppy: Charlie! Are you okay?

Charlie: Yep, I’m fine… just need some ice or something.

He stands up and starts falling over.

Charlie: Nevermind, going down.

Phoebe: Hold on, I gotcha. Charlie will have to sit this next one out, so Freddie, you’re up again.

Priscilla: No, I can do it.

Colton: You sure?

Priscilla: Yes.

Round 4. Gophers: Priscilla, Lily, Rocky, Freddie, and Phoebe. Bass: Ben, Beryl, Pearl, Flo, and Saul. 

Lily is taken out. Phoebe. Rocky. Freddie. Priscilla dodges… and survives the onslaught!

Saul then throws his ball and hits her upside the head.

David: It’s a tie game! Gophers, who are sitting it out?

Edgar: Me and Priscilla.

Priscilla: Wait, I--

David: Alright. Form your starting teams and go!

Final Round! Gophers: Charlie, Lily, Rocky, Colton, and Phoebe. Bass: Ben, Beryl, Pearl, Flo, and Saul. 

Charlie: I’ve learned how to dodge it.

Phoebe: Really? How-OW!

Phoebe is the first victim of the Bass Rush.

Charlie: Don’t let a single ball cross the line!

Everyone keeps a ball

Charlie: Use the balls sparingly.

Charlie proceeds to fake Ben out. Lily throws and gets him out.

Transition of the bleachers of both teams changing. Soon, it’s down to Lily for the Gophers and Woody for the Bass. 

David: Time out!

Cut to Gophers. They are overloading her with too many tips. Now to Bass; They’re treating him as if this is a break during a boxing match.

Flo: Alright Woody, this is it. To win, you gotta do one of two things; throw the ball, which you can’t do, or catch it.

David: Alright, back to the action!

Lily: Sorry I have to do this to you, you seem really nice, but I gotta win for my team.

Lily throws, Woody catches and returns it to the sender. It hits Lily in the gut, and she slides across the court. Woody sits there, dazed, with a grin of pure excitement across his face.

The Bass surround him and compliment him on getting the win.

Priscilla: Edgar, I was gonna help!

Freddie: I am also DYING over here.

Edgar: My bad.

Charlie: Really? Priscilla was a real help in Round 4, and you benched her.

Edgar: It’s not like you guys did anything about it!

Colton: Because David didn’t give us any time!

Cut to Campfire Ceremony.

David: Well, tonight’s vote was almost unanimous.

Edgar: Makes sense that Lily would try and save herself.

David: Actually, dear cynic, Lily got only one vote. Yours. You, however, got a whopping 10! 

Edgar: What?! You eliminated me?! Lily screwed it up!

Charlie: Hey, Benchmark! Dodge this!

Charlie proceeds to chuck his marshmallow at Edgar. The rest of the Gophers follow suit.

Edgar: Fine! I get it!

Boat of Losers time.

Edgar: This was dumb. I regret signing up for this. Just take me home.

Cut to Charlie heading into the woods. Unbeknownst to him, Phoebe follows him. He pushes a branch out of his way, which hits Phoebe in the head and knocks her out cold.

Charlie: Oh, crud!

Charlie picks her up and carries her back to the Gopher cabin. He knocks on the door of the girl's side.

Lily, with bandages around her stomach, opens the door.

Charlie: I was on my way to Charlie’s Cove, I think she followed me and a branch hit her head. I checked her pulse, she’s just unconscious.

Lily: Got it. I’ll put her on her bunk.

Charlie: Got it. Night.

Lily: Night.

Charlie heads back into the woods.

David: That was quite an eventful day, huh? Tomorrow will be even MORE exciting! So remember to tune in for more Total, Drama, Island!

Chapter Text

David: Last time, on Total Drama Island; our campers competed in a friendly game of dodgeball. Turning out not-so-friendly near then when Edgar irritated his team to the point of no return… to the competition! Yeah, after Woody won for his team, they voted him out and gave him a disrespectful elimination, by redoing the entire challenge again, him vs. everyone else! What’s next door for our teams? And how will they deal with some newfound fame? Find out right now, on Total, Drama, Island!

Intro.

Start with the mess hall. Colton is talking to Priscilla, Charlie is showing some tricks he taught Alice to Phoebe, and other games. Rocky then accidentally burps the alphabet. Cue a surprise from the guys. Even Dora looks surprised in a good way.

Ben: Dude, how did you do that?!

Rocky: I’m sorry, it happens sometimes.

Charlie: If we had a talent show, that would definitely take the cake.

David: Y’know Charlie, I don’t love it when somebody takes my spotlight.

Charlie: Hey, I called the challenge! Neat!

Freddie: So, what’s our limit on competitors?

David (ignoring him): Today’s challenge is a talent show. Pick three of your campers to impress our judge, DJ Dora!

Cut to Dora, looking extremely dead inside, but also really fresh.

David: You may now go pick what talents you guys are using.

Cut outside to the Gophers.

Grace: Alright, so it is obvious that Charlie will be one of the three in the show, so we will be holding auditions for the other two.

Phoebe: Wait, wait wait wait wait. Who died and made you leader?

Grace: Tobias and I thought it over, and we believe it would be the smartest decision for me to be the leader.

Charlie: Ah, a hostile takeover. How much did David pay you to cause this bit of drama?

Grace: I was not bribed, and it was not hostile.

Charlie: Sure. Y’know, what will I even do?

Grace: Acrobatics.

Charlie: Okay, and how will I do it? 

Grace: I’ve analyzed everyone. You should be able to swing around on some vines Tobias will be getting with ease.

Tobias: Got them.

Grace: Charlie, grab those and head to the amphitheater.

Charlie (sarcastically): Sir, yes sir.

Grace: Go.

Charlie gets the vines and snake and drags them off to the amphitheater.

Cut to Bass.

Natalie: So, what can everyone do?

Saul: I could probably lift Woody. Toss him like a pizza.

Flo: I can sew a sweater in a minute.

Ben: I think I got something in my hat!

Natalie: Great… wait, Ben, what are you doing?

The entirety of Ben’s arm is in his hat.

Ben: Looking for something… notepad? No. Backup hat? If I’m desperate.

Natalie: Ben, you’ll be doing magic.

Ben: Oh, I don’t think I brought a magic kit.

Natalie: Just pull stuff out of your hat. 

Ben (not at 100% attention): Hold on, why did I bring my rabbit’s foot? I don’t even have one! Oh, wait, that’s just a flat-out rabbit. That I was babysitting for my neighbors. Oopsie.

Natalie: Flo, Let’s see the sewing speed. Saul, we’ll do your trick if we really, really , need to.

Saul: Man.

Woody: I can build stuff pretty fast.

Natalie: How fast?

Woody: I need some wood.

Natalie: Brock, go get some wood.

Brock: I’ll steal from the firewood I guess.

Brock runs to the elimination area, but the camera stops in front of the Gopher cabin. 

Grace: Priscilla, we are expected to provide our own materials, and it is unlikely Dora will let you in her kitchen.

Priscilla: Darn.

Grace: Lily?

Lily: I’ll try.

Lily walks inside the girl’s side and comes back out with three items, being; a small pocket knife, a french flag(taken from above Priscilla’s bunk), and a joy buzzer. Lily then proceeds to juggle them until she shocks herself.

Grace: I guess that will work. Rocky, would you like to do your odd burp thing?

Suddenly, Brock runs across the screen, back to the Bass.

Brock: Here you go. 

Woody stands in front of the firewood, cracks his knuckles, a blur appears as he disappears, and then there’s a birdhouse.

Brock: Dude, how did you-- what?!

Woody: I made it.

Brock: Where’d you get the screws?!

Woody: I made them out of wood.

Brock: Whu?

[CON] Brock: How did I not know this about my own brother?! [END]

Natalie: Alrighty, Woody, you’ll be our second act, and holy moly, Flo, how many sweaters did you make?!

Flo stops, looks to her side, and counts silently to herself.

Natalie: Whatever, you are talent number 3.

Cut to behind the amphitheater at night. Our six competitors are Ben, Charlie, Flo, Lily, Woody, and Rocky.

David: First up, presenting for the Bass, Flo, and her… speed sweater-making?

Flo and Ben run onstage. Ben pulls out a folding table from his hat and Flo puts her sewing machine on top of it. Cut to David looking absolutely amazed.

[CON] Flo: I think I shaved 15 seconds off my personal best. [END]

David: I don’t know what I watched, but I know it will rate--

Dora gives it a 4/10.

David: Not high apparently.

David: Going for the Gophers, Charlie is next.

Charlie and Phoebe run around the stage putting the vines across the ceiling. Charlie gets a mini trampoline and starts his act. It goes well… until he gets to the snake Tobias mistook for a vine. Out of fear, it curls up, and Charlie hits his head on a post and falls to the ground.

Charlie: My hair did not break my fall. Nothing broke my fall. The fall might’ve broken my spine.

Dora gives it another 4/10. She also walks in and drags him to the infirmary.

David: Rough landing!

Charlie: Not funny!

David: Our next contestant will be Woody, with his speed-construction?

Woody and Brock walk in with a table he made earlier, put some firewood down, and Brock runs offstage. Just as he did earlier, he cracks his knuckles and gets to work.

David: How is that thing--

Woody: I built it.

David: Where did you get the--

Woody: I built it.

Dora gives it a 10/10.

David: Next, Lily will be juggling.

Lily walks on while juggling.

As she does this, she gets a 9/10 for juggling nine things.

Lily leaves upon hearing this.

David: Last for the Bass, it’s Ben! Doing magic. 

Ben runs on stage and starts.  At one point half of his upper body gets taken in by the hat.

This whole act gets him a whopping 2.

Cut to the back of the amphitheater.

Grace: Alright Rocky, this whole act has to get a three or higher.

Rocky: I got this.

Rocky walks onstage, gets to the letter w, and the burp turns into vomit. Dora gives it a 1/10.

David: With that disappointing performance, the Bass win by a two-point margin!

Cut to Campfire Ceremony. We get a look at three of the votes.

[CON] Charlie: Grace. [END]

[CON] Lily: Rocky. [END]

[CON] Grace: I have no fear concerning this vote. I’ve taken the necessary precautions to make sure I stay. Rocky. [END]

Cut to the bottom two. Grace and Rocky. Grace is calm, but Rocky is a nervous wreck.

David: The final marshmallow goes to… Grace.

Rocky sighs.

Rocky: It’s been fun guys. Sucks I got out this early, but it was nice playing with you.

Charlie: Yo, Rocky Balboa! 

Rocky turns around.

Charlie: You did well. 

Rocky: Thanks.

BoL.

Rocky: Man. I thought I’d get farther. I mean, fourth out? It’s fine, I had fun.

End episode.

Chapter Text

David: Last time, on Total Drama Island, we had a talent show, and what was showcased made us barf. Mostly Rocky, who was voted out. Who will go this time? Find out now, on Total Drama Island!

Intro.

Phoebe is waiting at the perimeter of the forest, waiting to see where Charlie will emerge from.

Charlie: Whatcha looking for?

Phoebe: AAA! You scared me!

Charlie: Really? I never would’ve guessed.

Phoebe: How did you?

Charlie: I get up earlier than you think.

Phoebe: What? How am I gonna find your cove?

Charlie: It’s simple; you aren’t unless I need you to.

David: Hey! Lover’s Quarrel!

After they don’t respond, David makes it clear who he’s referring to.

David: Charlie and Phoebe!

Upon learning that they were dubbed “Lover’s Quarrel”, they speed over to dismiss their accusations.

David: Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, shut UP, sit DOWN.

They both find a pair of seats on a nearby pair of stumps.

David: Today’s challenge is to camp out in the woods for the entire night.

Ben: Unfair, they have Nature Boy!

Charlie: That seems like a skill issue on your side.

David: HUSH-uh. Nature Boy, since you live in the woods, you’ll have a slightly different challenge. You will stay at camp for the whole day.

Charlie: Aw, what!

David: Here are your maps and compasses.

Charlie intercepts the map from Phoebe and starts explaining how to get to and everything about Charlie’s Cove.

Charlie: Okay, so follow this path, look out for the traps here, here, and here, and you should get there. Once you’re there, the closer stream of water is for the fish. There is also a nearby berry bush. If a bear comes and bothers you, give him some fish and he should back off. The farther stream is for bathing. I’d suggest not bathing for the night. If you need to go to the bathroom, head into the woods and dig a latrine. For shelter, I set up a bunch of branches on a bunch of different trees, you can sleep in those, and that should be all you need. Alice, you can help more on the way.

Phoebe: Wow. That’s really--

Charlie: Whatever, just don’t. Screw. With anything. Ok?

Phoebe: Got it.

Pan to Bass.

Ben: Alright team, we got this! All we have to do is… well maybe we can… we can hope. We can pray. That’s it.

David: When I blow this horn, that means go. Ready… steady… reddy…

Charlie: Just get a move o-

David blasts the air horn, and the teams speed into the woods to get where they need to go.

Charlie: So essentially, I get a free pass on the challenge?

David: Nope, you will have to eat the food, sleep in the beds, and overall, do what the normal people do.

Charlie: Great.

Cut to the main Gophers.  Phoebe is reading the map and warning everybody about Charlie’s traps.

Phoebe: Jump here, pit trap. Mind the branch, I learned that one the hard way. There’s a tripwire here, if you touch it we’re all screwed over. This is the last trap, there's a log that swings by periodically, so watch out for that.

Colton: As per usual, Freddie is dead weight.

Phoebe: Huh?

Freddie then lands in front of her.

Phoebe: Oh. Good job listening.

Freddie (Hoarse): Thanks.

Tobias: Hey, Grace, didn’t you want to lead?

Grace: Considering the fact that Phoebe knows Charles better than anyone else on the team, it’d be beneficial for her to lead.

Tobias: Doesn’t he go by Charlie?

Grace: It doesn’t matter.

Tobias: Okay.

Grace: I shall return to leadership next challenge.

Phoebe: We’re getting close.

Cut to Bass.

Brock is holding the map, and the others are following him slowly.

Brock: Alright, so we should head half a mile farther north.

Woody, who has the compass, turns around.

Brock: Woody, I said north.

Woody: And I’m headed north.

Brock: What? That’s not the north on the map’s compass rose.

Pearl: Oh my god, Brock, you’re holding the map upside down, you idiot!

Brock: Huh. Looky there. We’re lost.

Mia: I guess we should set up camp here.

Pearl: You’re right.

Woody: There’s nothing for food or water here.

Pearl: Good, a volunteer for foraging.

Woody: Now, I never said that!

Pearl: Then don’t complain about it.

Flo: Isn’t Natalie the team leader?

Natalie: When did that happen?

Flo: Well, you guide our team through the challenges.

Natalie: To fill the void as captain.

Woody: I have a solution! If you want Natalie to be the team leader, raise your hand. Natalie and any others who wish to be captain may not raise their hand. 

A majority of the hands rise in the air.

Natalie: Okay, we should keep going until we find somewhere to set up camp. Ben, do you have something to write with in your hat?

Ben: I have a pen in my hoodie.

Natalie: Alright, draw a line from camp to the closest landmark, like a lake. 

Ben: Like the one behind us?

Natalie: Oh my god. Brock, How terribly have you been leading us?

Brock: Aren’t you the leader?

Natalie: I just got elected!

Cut to Gophers.

Lily is carrying Freddie over her shoulder as they arrive in a lush cove.

Phoebe: Woah…

Colton is scribbling furiously on the map.

Phoebe: What are you doing?

Colton: Marking the way we got here.

Phoebe: Listen, I’ve known Charlie for a few days at best, but I think he’d be angry if we memorized the path to get here, considering how vehemently he opposed me heading in there.

Freddie: Well we’re here now.

Phoebe: Because of a challenge. When he told me about here, he was annoyed that he had to. This is special to him. I’m sure he wouldn’t be happy if we just walk in all willy-nilly.

Colton: I’m sure you wouldn’t mind returning occasionally.

Phoebe: Quiet!

Cut to Charlie trying to eat the food. Keyword trying.

[CON] Charlie: I have a weak stomach. One to the point where I have to be able to tell what a simple food is made of before I eat. I could not eat the gruel. [END]

Cut to Charlie gagging

Back to Bass. Now, Natalie is holding the map to find where they were supposed to camp using the lake.

Natalie: We should be there soon, but we’ll have to set up camp at the speed of sound to be able to rest easy.'

They get there quickly and rest for a minute.

Natalie: Ben, Brock, and Beryl, set up the tent and start a campfire. Flo, and Woody, get some food. Twins, you’re with me to make sure we’re safe.

Mia: Safe?! Safe from what?!

Natalie: Bears, wolves, stuff like that.

Mia: Wouldn’t it be smarter if we did it in shifts?

Natalie: Fine. I’ll go first.

She gets up and walks to the edge of camp.

After a long timelapse, complete with a split-screen of Gophers doing fine and the Bass struggling, the Gophers are pushed offscreen in favor of this:

Beryl: BOIR!

Woody: What?!

Beryl: BEAR!

Natalie: Mia, it was your shift! Mia? Where are you, Mia?

Mia: I’m here, I'm here! I fell asleep.

[CON] Needle: At least she was honest. [END]

[CON] Mia: I like to consider myself to be the nicer twin! To balance that out, my sister got more willpower and brains. [END]

Pearl: Everyone get in the trees! 

After a quick climb, they're stuck up there. Timeskip to morning.

Charlie walks out of the Gopher cabin looking like he slept on a bed of rocks.

David (with a megaphone): YO! WHOEVER GETS YOUR ENTIRE TEAM BACK HERE FIRST WILL WIN!

David: Woah, Charlie, dude, you look like death.

Charlie gives him a wordless death glare.

David: Tough crowd. 

The Bass run in.

Beryl: Doin’t woi woin?

David: Nope. You guys are missing two members.

Natalie: Grrah, the twins!

The Gophers are in the woods.

Natalie: Give me that thing!

Natalie snatches the megaphone and shouts;

Natalie: HEY! SLEEPING BEAUTIES! WAKE UP!

The Gophers are nearly out of the woods. The twins are running as fast as they can. The Gophers get out of the forest first.

The Bass give a lot of mean comments to the twins.

Cut to Campfire Ceremony

David: I think it’s obvious who our bottom two are. Brock, you got the twins’ votes for terrible map-reading skills.

Brock: Whatever.

David: Pearl, Mia. It was a 4-3 vote. Pearl…

Mia: Yes!

David: You are safe.

Mia: Oh. Well, it was fun while it lasted. I guess nice guys do finish last. Good luck everyone.

BoL

Mia: I guess I’m not cut out for this competition stuff, huh? Heh… I should’ve expected this…

She then starts softly crying.

Outro

Chapter Text

Hey, I just now realized that nobody has any idea what the contestants look like. So here they are! I'll do the eliminated contestants first, then the others in alphabetical order.

Irene: Puffy jacket, shoulder-length white-blue hair, jeans, and slip-on shoes. Swim; full-body wetsuit. Sleepwear; white-blue tank top and shorts. Swim; one-piece swimsuit. Sleepwear; much larger, deep blue hoodie which goes down to her knees.

Teana: Wears a sky blue hoodie with a raindrop insignia, with the hood always up, deep blue hair, shorts that match her hair color, and flip-flops.

Edgar: Pink hair, black rectangular glasses, a pink, long-sleeve, v-neck shirt, dark black pants, and combat boots. Swim; black trunks. Sleepwear; black and pink long-sleeve shirt and pajama pants.

Rocky: Dark gray hair, hoodie of a similar color, black shorts, and court shoes. Swim; gray and black striped trunks. Sleepwear; gray footed onesie.

Mia: Light, light brown tank top, red hair pulled into a bun at the top of her head, red skirt, and velcro shoes. Swim; red bikini. Sleepwear; mauve pajamas with beige slippers.

Ben: Backwards blue hat. A tuft of hair pokes out the hole in the front, revealing black hair with blue tips. He wears a white hoodie, blue sweatpants, and pitch-black shoes. Swim; teal trunks with a swim cap of similar color. Sleepwear; bluish-white loose pajamas with a nightcap.

Beryl: Super pale blue hair, a long-sleeve shirt, and jeans, with matching shoes. Swim; one piece. Sleepwear; traditional pajamas.

Brock: Naturally red hair, which he wears in a box shape. He has a tank top with covers his shoulders, and mesh shorts. He has red court shoes. Swim; Reddish-pink trunks. Sleepwear; skinny strap tank top with mesh shorts and bunny slippers.

Charlie: Dark brown hair in a 50's pompadour style haircut, a light orange puffy vest, a camo t-shirt, jeans, and dark brown shoes. Swim; Camo trunks. Sleepwear; Bright orange t-shirt with camo pajama pants and gray socks.

Colton: Yellowish-brown hair. He has a zip-up jacket and a t-shirt underneath with the symbol of a coin on it. He wears brown jeans and dark brown tie-up shoes. Swim; brown trunks with swim goggles. Sleepwear; baggy t-shirt and pajama pants that cover his whole lower body.

Flo: Very long, pink hair, a yellow-and-pink sweater, jean shorts, and flip-flops. Swim; pink-and-yellow two-piece. Sleepwear; Baggy pink sweater and bright yellow shorts.

Freddie: Light orange hair that raises above his head, an orange tank top, light blue mesh shorts, and red flip-flops. Swim; normal clothes. Sleepwear; pajama shorts with a flame pattern.

Grace: Light gray hair, cut short, a button-up shirt, a gray skirt, knee-high socks, tap-dance shoes, and a pair of black glasses. Swim; gray one piece. Sleepwear; button-up pajamas.

Lily: Green hair pulled into a ponytail, a white blouse, and green shorts. She wears slip-on shoes. Swim; green one-piece with watershoes. Sleepwear; green t-shirt, dark green shorts.

Natalie: A light gray t-shirt, gray skinny jeans, and gray shoes. Her hair is in a very low ponytail. Swim; gray bikini.

Pearl: Pink hair, a silver headband, an orange blouse, a pair of light-brown shorts, and black shoes. Swim; pink two-piece. Sleepwear; pink button pajamas.

Phoebe: Short, sandy, wavy hair. Very light yellow blouse, green shorts, blue-and-white sneakers. Swim; Canary yellow bikini. Sleepwear; Light yellow t-shirt and light pink shorts.

Priscilla: Dark red hair in a ponytail lower than Lily’s, a red dress that goes to her knees, and gray leggings beneath those. Swim; red one-piece. Sleepwear; gray nightgown.

Saul: Beanie covering white hair, a hockey jersey reading “Helix High School Genes”, purplish pants, and shoes of a similar color. Swim; purple trunks. Sleepwear; Purple jersey with #09 on it and purple sweatpants.

Spaulding: Tight t-shirt that’s dark yellow, curly dirty-blond hair, brown shorts, and large dark yellow-green shoes. Swim; large orange trunks. Sleepwear; shorts.

Tobias: Short hair, which is dyed green, has a green sweatshirt with a white pattern, and a pair of jeans, with white tennis shoes. Glasses. Swim; goggles and green trunks and rashguard. Sleepwear; fitted sleepwear decorated with atoms and green slippers.

Woody: Pale, pale brown hair, a light brown t-shirt over a dark brown long-sleeved shirt, light brown pants, and light brown sneakers. Swim; wetsuit with watershoes. Sleepwear; beige button-up pajamas.

Chapter Text

David: Last time, on Total Drama Island! Our teams hid in the forest, except Charlie, and stayed there overnight. It was a race back that cost the twins one of their members. Now only Pearl remains between the two, and grounds for a new challenge will be found soon on Total, Drama, Island!

Intro

Cut to Pearl standing at the docks. Text saying last night is on the screen.

Natalie: Hey, Pearl?

Pearl: What?

Natalie: You wanna come sit around the fire with us?

Pearl: Sure.

Brock: So, what should we talk about?

Pearl: I dunno, maybe our greatest fears?

Charlie: Mind if we join you?

Woody: I don’t see why not. I’ll go first.

Brock: You’re scared of everything!

Woody: My strongest phobia is ophidiophobia.

Brock: I guess Pistanthrophobia.

Natalie: I think Atelophobia.

Charlie: Entomophobia.

Ben: Fear of bugs?! Nature Boy is afraid of bugs?

Charlie: Yeah, so?!

Ben: Nothing! I’m a thanatophobic.

Charlie: Nah, nah, nah, you can’t go from bugs to death like that!

Lily: I have autophobia, the fear of being hated.

Flo: Pathophobia is my fear.

Priscilla: My greatest fear is being misunderstood.

Colton: Deep. I have lilapsophobia.

Tobias: Iatrophobia.

Grace: Wiccaphobia. If it can’t be explained with science, it can’t be trusted.

Saul: I have sanguivoriphobia.

Beryl: Trypanophobia.

Freddie: Aquaphobia and acrophobia.

Phoebe: Nosocomephobia. Hospitals.

Spaulding: Pteromerhanophobia.

Pearl: Xenophobia.

Cut to the current day, the campers are having lunch. (Charlie brought a fish and some berries)

David walks in.

David: Hey Dora! Didn’t we have a special meal for Charlie? Oh yeah, and some meds for Phoebe were dropped off.

Phoebe: I don’t take meds.

David: Oh yeah, and Beryl needs some shots for polio.

Charlie: Hey, what’s my meal?

David: One fit for a king!

Charlie: Really?

David: Of lions.

Dora pulls a bowl of bugs from behind the counter.

Charlie: Oh my god. Guys. The campfire last night.

Brock: You sickos wouldn’t!

David: Oh. But we would.

Ben: David, listen, we can talk about this, right?! Right?!

David: Relax Ben-jo, we can’t legally kill you. Although, the ratings would shoot through the roof.

Ben flinches at the word “shoot”.

Grace: How lucky. My fear cannot be represented.

David: I’d beg to differ. But! One fit of terror at a time. Let’s go in order of confession, eh? Which means Woody! You are up first.

Woody is stuck in a temporary state of paralysis.

[CON] Brock: Woody doesn’t take confrontation well. I expected him to go into terror mode. I do wonder how they’ll replicate our mother leaving us for my phobia. [END]

David: Woody, to score a point for your team, you have to let this snake on your arm.

Zoom into a snake, the size of a small bird. Scratch that. It could be eaten by a small bird.

Brock: You got this, little bro!

Woody, albeit very slowly, sticks his hand in the tank… then immediately snatches his hand out without the snake touching him. He runs off. 

David: No point. Brock, you’re up! By the by, you shouldn’t have given us the rundown on your phobia and why you have it.

Brock: What are ya gonna do, a puppet show?

David: Yep! If you can sit through the entire show, that’s a point for your team.

Brock patiently sits through the puppet show and gives David some critiques.

Brock: Our mother left us when Woody was 3, and Dad is much more bored than that.

David: Uhhh, point for the Bass. Next up is Natalie. Try to guide your team across a bridge.

The Bass are on a bridge not one foot above the ground. Natalie guides them, the bridge breaks, and she freaks out. 

David: No points given. Nature Boy! You have to lie down in a kiddie pool filled with worms.

Charlie: Awesome.

Cut to Dora and David carrying the kiddie pool. They lower Charlie in… for about half a second before jumps out and yells;

Charlie: THERE’S A WORM IN MY EAR!

David: No points for the Gophers!

Phoebe: It’s okay Charlie, you did your best.

David: Alright, Ben, your turn.

Ben: You said you can’t legally kill me!

David: Which is why you’ll be doing a death sim.

Ben: A what now?

David: You’ll be put in a glass container with no light, sound, or gravity. We can only legally put you in it for about three hours. So, we’ll do one hour. Stay without panicking hard enough for someone to notice, and that’s a point.

Pearl: I’ll monitor him.

Ben: Goodbye, guys. 

He then lowers himself in.

David: I’ve set a timer for an hour. The clock is right next to you. Hit the button on the top to let him out.

David: Lily, you will be reading fan mail… except it’s for hatred. If you can get through five without having a mental breakdown, that’s a point.

Lily reads the “fan” mail. Once she’s done, she’s sniffling.

David: Point for Gophers. Flo! You’ll be placed in a room full of sealed common sicknesses. You must open at least one to move forward with a point for your team.

Flo: Oh boy. Erm, I hope this is a common cold!

When Flo exits, she has a runny nose, and eyebags, and is looking especially red.

David: Point for Bass. Priscilla, you’ll be reading a speech to a bunch of people who have never spoken Spanish or French. If you switch to English at all, no point for you.

Priscilla: You enjoy my suffering.

David: I enjoy all suffering, so long as it’s not mine!

Priscilla: Of course you do.

David: Hurry!

After a quick speech, Priscilla gets a point for her team.

David: It’s 2-2! Colton, Ready to step up?

Colton: Let’s do it.

David: If you can stay in the hurricane simulator for 5 minutes, you get a point for your team!

Colton: I can’t hear you over the wind!

David: GO!

After 3 and ½ minutes, we see Colton learning to fly.

David: No points! Tobias, time for your yearly check-up!

Tobias: Uh-oh.

David: While we’re at it, Beryl, Phoebe, you too!

Beryl: Eek!

Phoebe simply breaks herself out of Dora’s grasp and runs .

Cut to Dora in a doctor costume with a pair of syringes full of blood.

They both walk out with a bandage on their arm, and Tobi looks much more traumatized than Beryl.

David: A point each! Oh! Hey, Spaulding, hurry or you’ll be late for your flight!

Spaulding: Say what now?

David: Oh, hey, Ben’s lasted for one hour! Good for him. Point to Bass!

David pushes Spaulding onto a plane and takes off. He gives Spaulding a parachute if he wants to quit, and they do a lap around the island. 

Spaulding: That was terrible!

David: Looks like it’s 4-4! Grace and Saul, if you’ll go with Dora.

They follow her into the mess hall and see an intern, shriveled and pale, with sharp fangs. The two run out of the mess hall immediately.

Grace and Saul: VAMPIRE!

David(on the verge of laughter): I didn’t even get to explain the mini-challenge! Alright, Pearl’s up next, and-- where is Pearl?

Woody: Wasn’t she monitoring Ben last?

Everyone travels over and Pearl is trying to put the clock back together while Ben has a look of pure… zoned-out-ness.

David goes and hits the button, freeing Ben.

David: Congrats, dude! You lasted an hour and 15 minutes.

Ben: I WHAT?! What the heck, Pearl?!

Ben crawls out of the container, and storms into the Bass cabin.

Pearl: Wait, I’m sorry, hold on!

She then gets a plastic ball, a foam cube, a notepad, and a crushed soda can thrown at her head. She picks up the notepad, which reads “Things to draw when I learn how to!” and a variety of different ideas.

David: Alright, now it’s your turn!

Pearl: What? 

David: We’ve brought 5 people in from North America, you must talk to all of them without backing away.

After several strained conversations, she completes her challenge.

David: Freddie. Dude. You are up, but if you can complete the first challenge, I’ll give you double points!

[CON] Freddie: At this point, I had two options; a.) chicken out and get eliminated, or b.) face my fear. I wanted to pick A so bad. [END]

Cut to Freddie falling whilst screaming before getting cut off by a splash .

David: And Freddie wins it for his team! Bass, I’ll see you at the campfire. But! You can’t vote for the people who completed their challenge.

Cut to Campfire Ceremony.

David: I must say, I am shocked. I did not expect this elimination.

Here for another day are Flo, Ben, Brock, Beryl, and Pearl. Saul and Woody! Back at the bottom two again! Your teammates could vote for only one of you, and a majority vote is… Woody.

Woody: What? But I- huh?

David: Okay, gotta say, that was a shocker… I knew the results and I’m still shocked. Woody, it was 5-3 buddy.

Woody: Huh… I lost… well, win for me, Brock and Flo!

Boat of Losers.

Woody: Man. I thought I’d get farther. I guess Saul was more useful, but he’s also really good at challenges! It’s a threat at the merge! I guess I can’t do anything now.

Pearl: Hey, Ben.

Ben: Hm?

Pearl: Wanted to say sorry. Erm, here!

She promptly hands him a bunch of comics.

Ben: Are these--

Pearl: Things you wanted to draw when you learned how.

Ben hugs Pearl, who gives a look of extreme surprise, but caves and hugs back. 

Ben: Thank you.

Pearl: It was no problem, really.

Outro

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We faced our fears, however odd they were, and the most cowardly would not survive! I.e. Woody,  one of the two on his team not immune, was taken out in a 5-3 vote! Who’s going this time? Find out on Total Drama Island!

Intro

David: Today’s challenge is a summer camp classic--

Charlie: Scary stories? I got a few! It was mid-day, not unlike--

David: Save it, Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Charlie: I’ll have you know that was a really traumatic experience for my great-grand--

David: I said SAVE IT .

[CON] Phoebe: From what I’ve heard, Charlie’s family is nuts, so that doesn’t surprise me. From what he told me, his uncle fought in the Vietnam War and just threw bombs at enemy camps. That’s all he did, and he was proud of it. [END]

David: It’s a canoe trip to Boney Island, the cursed island just across the way. Once you’re there, carry your canoes from one side of the island to the other, a two-hour hike through a jungle. When you guys get to the other end of the island, you will build a rescue fire, which will be judged by none other than yours truly. Once I approve it, you can head back. The first team to return with all of its members wins. Oh yeah, if you take anything from the island, you’ll be cursed. Go!

Everyone takes off, but Grace just walks in.

Grace: Sorry I’m late, I lost my glasses. What did I miss?

David: Canoes.

Grace runs off. Several pairs form, those being, Freddie and Lily, Colton and Priscilla, Charlie and Phoebe, Tobias and Grace, Ben and Pearl (Pearl seems to be slightly flustered by his arm around her shoulder), Brock and Flo, Saul and Natalie. Beryl and Spaulding go by themselves.

Phoebe: Do canoes tip over a lot?

Charlie: No, that’s kayaks. Unless we hit rough water.

Freddie: Rough what now?

Colton: Stop screwing around and hurry up! Spaulding is moving faster than you!

Spaulding: Yeah, and I move the slowest out of all of us on land!

Priscilla: Hey, guys, is it just me, or is there fog all of a sudden?

Lily: What the?! Where did this come from?

Brock: Haha, we’re in the lead!

Natalie: Not for long, Charlie and Phoebe have arrived.

After about half a minute of Brock doing nothing, Natalie says

Natalie: So go!

Beryl: Oh, roight!

The Bass speed off into the jungle.

Charlie and Phoebe lift the canoe over their heads and get taken down by it. They rise again but struggle immensely.

Beryl: Oi thoink oi soy soimethoing in the foig!

Brock: Beryl, there’s nothing in the “foig”. In the fog? Definitely. In the foig? Nada.

Natalie: The heck is that thing?!

Flo: It’s like, a wooly beaver!

Saul: Move!

[CON] David: A remnant of the Pleistocene era, the wooly beaver is a diurnal rodent indigenous from Boney Island. Oh yeah, and they’re carnivores. [END]

Charlie: Dead end. Oh. Hi, beavers… how are you doing? Beavers? BEAVERS? RUN!

[CON] Charlie, heavily disheveled: THOSE THINGS! ARE NOT ANIMALS! THEY ARE NOT ANYTHING CLOSE! THEY ARE {BLEEP} {BLEEP BLEEP} {BLEEEEEEP}! [END]

Cut to the Bass at an intersection.

Saul: Which way?

Ben: Left is always right.

Brock: Uhhh, I can’t argue with that, 'cause I don’t know how.

As they head down the left path, the Gophers run up behind them.

Spaulding: They’re heading left, maybe we should go right?

Freddie: I don’t see why not.

Note; Charlie and Phoebe are carrying their boat in front, with Charlie being ahead of Phoebe.

Up ahead, there is quicksand. Please note that Charlie is already pretty tense. Charlie gets stuck in the quicksand, and angrily yells loud enough for the birds to fly away.

Colton: Holy wow, he can scream!

Grace: Hm? What is this?

She then picks an idol off the ground.

Grace: Seems neat.

Phoebe: Hold on Charlie!

She then grabs Charlie’s hands and attempts to pull him out.

Charlie: Thanks for saving my life… again.

Phoebe: It’s nothing, really.

[CON] Charlie: How was I supposed to know what quicksand looks like? It’s sand with a pit hidden under it. [END]

[CON] David: Can you believe they fell for it? I set it up, but I didn’t think anyone would walk into it! That’s amazing! HUHAHAHA! [END]

Tobias: Touching, I’m rooting for you guys, but we still have a challenge!

Charlie and Phoebe deny it but start running anyway.

Cut to the Bass arriving at the beach, and the Gophers starting their fire. The Gophers struggle, but the Bass get a fire going fast.

[CON] Brock: Nothing against lighters as far as I could tell. [END]

Charlie: Freddie, you seem like the kind of guy to carry a lighter, do you?

Freddie: Yeah, hold on… I seem to have misplaced my lighter.

Charlie: Ok, that’s just grape.

Pearl and Ben are running around gathering twigs and adding them to the fire. The Gophers have a small fire going when Charlie walks on-screen holding a lump of honey.

Phoebe: Where did you get that?

Charlie: Lives were lost. On the bright side, Alice is no longer hungry!

[CON] Phoebe: The spider has committed mass genocide. Okay… [END]

[CON] Charlie: After the beavers, I couldn’t trust anything on Boney Island. [END]

Charlie: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, please stand back and watch the show.

Freddie: Nothing is going to happen, it’s just a bunch of--

Charlie chucks the honey onto the fire, and Freddie is flung into the water and absolutely flails.

Lily: I got you!

She drags him out of the water and he is out of commission.

A spark from the flame flies through the air and lands on Spaulding’s shirt. He runs and cannonballs into the nearby lake, putting out most of the fire.

Charlie: Dude, just run in next time, now I have to find another beehive to terrorize!

He promptly runs off.

David: Bass, you guys can go.

Charlie runs in with another fire charge lump of honey and throws it on the fire and then they paddle like there is no tomorrow.

David: And our winners… by a nose…

During the pauses, all of the canoes are shown.

David: The Bass!

Spaulding finally catches up to the rest.

Cut to Campfire Ceremony.

David: Marshmallows go to Grace, Tobias, Phoebe, Priscilla, and Lily. People who got one vote; Freddie and Colton. Down to Charlie and Spaulding. The final marshmallow of the night goes to…

Cut to Charlie looking extremely done with everything and Spaulding looking hopeful.

David: Charlie.

He goes from annoyed to calm.

Spaulding: Sorry guys. I messed it up… my fault!

BoL

Spaulding: Man, this was terrible… I don’t think this was a learning experience… I didn’t even make any friends…

Colton: Hey, Pris, you think we’ll win next time?

Priscilla: We can hope.

Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We went hunting where the weak would not survive! Freddie had the worst performance out of his team and was promptly booted out for it. Who will really feel the heat? Find out in this episode, when sparks fly in Total, Drama, Island!

Intro

Montage of the campers enjoying their morning calmly. Charlie is fishing, Colton is helping Priscilla with verbs, and Grace is fiddling with the totem the got… until;

Dora: IF YOU WANT BETTER FOOD, MAKE IT YOURSELF! I QUIT!

Pearl flies out the door of the mess hall.

Ben: Pearl! Are you okay?

Pearl: Yeah, I’m fine Ben.

Ben: How many fingers am I holding up?

Pearl: Two each.

David: I have heard Dora has quit, while I get her back, your new challenge is going to be to cook a three-course meal. Appoint a head chef and theme for food based on what kind it is. Worst meal loses, there’s a truck that comes here on the daily with food on it, go, now!

There is panic as the teens run up to the truck.

Brock: Hey! We could do a sick Italian theme!

Ben: Hey there, head chef!

Brock: The pasta, tomato, custard, and pastry!

Lily: We’re doing a Hawaiian theme! Get macadamias, mangoes, molasses, and pineapples!

To the kitchen

Brock: Everybody, partner up!

Natalie: I can make cannoli!

Flo: I can make custard!

Ben: I’ll stir the pasta!

Pearl: I got boiling the noodles!

Saul: So me and Beryl are on sauce and meatball duty.

Beryl: Oi noi.

[CON] Beryl: Oim not oiny good uat boiking or cooking. [END]

Slide transition to Gopher side

Lily: Charlie and Phoebe; you guys are on the citrus macadamia upside-down cake flambe.

Phoebe raises her hand.

Lily: What?

Phoebe: Could you speak English?

Lily: Just go.

Charlie: Hey, I’m allergic to-

Lily: You won’t be eating anything. Priscilla, Colton, you two will work on the ribs.

Colton: Sir! Yyyyes, Sir!

Lily: Charlie already made that joke back at the talent show, so get on with the ribs.

Priscilla: I’d like to--

Lily: Tobias, Grace, you guys are making pineapple skewers with a mango dip.

Tobias: Grace, what happened to you taking the lead?

Grace: I haven’t gotten the chance, oh yeah, I wanted to show this to you for a while now! It’s this odd totem.

Tobias: Huh?

Grace: I got it from Boney Island!

Tobias: Grace! That totem is cursed!

Grace: Tobias, there’s no such thing as a curse.

Tobias: I know, but Grace, what if it is cursed?

Grace: Even if it is, and that is a big if, why are you so worried about it?

Tobias pauses, growing more and more concerned, until

Tobias: I really like you! Like, romantically!

Grace: I, er, I really like you too…

She promptly goes into Heroic BSoD.

Tobias: Grace?! Hello?!

[CON] Lily: Okay, Grace is out of the action, so she can’t work, Priscilla and Colton are too busy teaching each other how to speak a non-native language, and Charlie won’t touch the oranges. Fantastic. [END]

Lily: Charlie, you need to squeeze the oranges.

Charlie: Are they blood oranges?

Lily: There’s no such thing!

Charlie: They’re oranges with red inside.

Lily: I know a way to find out!

Charlie: How?

Lily: Cut the oranges! It isn’t that hard!

[CON] Charlie: My Grandma had whatever the orange equivalent to an orchard is… is that still an orchard? Doesn’t matter, she had blood oranges, I touched the peel of one and I had a rash on my hands for, like, a week. [END]

Charlie attempts to slice the orange without holding it still, it flies around the room and whacks Lily in the head.

Lily: Hold the orange still!

Charlie: I don’t feel like getting a RASH!

Whilst Charlie and Lily bicker, Phoebe gets the citrus out of the way.

Phoebe: The oranges are out of the way. They were blood oranges.

Lily: There are no longer any peels, so please work on the challenge!

Charlie: Geez, chill out…

Lily: Priscilla, Colton!

Brock: Remember guys, cooking takes time, so be careful… we have until noon and it’s about 11:00 AM.

Natalie: Well I’m putting our cannoli in the oven.

Flo watches quietly.

Ben: The pasta is nearly done!

Saul: I finished the sauce! Beryl, how are the meatballs coming along?

Beryl is sitting over her dish with an incredibly scared look on her face.

Brock: Beryl, there’s nothing to be ashamed of in the kitchen.

Beryl turns around with a fake grin and extreme sweat.

Flo: Oh, dear.

Pan to Beryl’s terrible dish.

Brock: Maybe it’ll only bump us down a few points?

Natalie: We can’t add that to the spaghetti.

Gophers.

Charlie: Alright, time to light the cake!

Phoebe: I hope we added the right amount of fluid.

Tobias: So, uhh, do you want to, uhh {clears throat}, date?

Grace: Well, erm, it’d make sense too, since our feelings are mutual.

Tobias: Alright!

In the background, the cake catches fire and sets Charlie’s hunting safety vest on fire. Phoebe throws a cup of water onto the fire which causes it to grow bigger, and Charlie has to take his vest off. He stomps on the fire causing his shoe to catch fire. He throws the shoe outside and we see the effects of a backdraft.

Lily: Colton, are you just now basting the ribs?

Colton: Yes? That’s how my dad makes ribs.

Lily: Y’know, what? Whatever. We’re almost out of time.

Priscilla: I’d like to say-

David: I got Dora back! She will be judging your food, the losers not only vote someone off but also have to eat leftovers of what they made until there are no more.

Transition. The Bass are dressed incredibly formally, whilst the Gophers are wearing grass skirts and coconut bras over their real clothes, or swimsuits and leis.

Brock clears his throat.

Brock {italian accent}: Madame, your meal will be delivered shortly.

Ben promptly runs in and puts a candelabra on the Bass side of the table.

Priscilla: Your food will be ready shortly. Please be patient.

Colton walks on and puts the mango dip and pineapple on their side.

Ben: Your pasta!

Dora: It’s just spaghetti and sauce.

Saul: Beryl screwed up the meatballs, so we figured no meatballs would be better than hardly qualifies as meatballs.

Dora: Fair, I’ll only bump the point down once, because it’s pretty good. 8/10.

General happiness from the Bass.

Grace: The ribs are completed.

Dora: Hm! It’s ehh. And it is a little dry. 6/10

Lily: Told you!

General disappointment from Gophers.

Flo: Your cannoli, madame.

Natalie walks by with the tray of cannoli. After placing it, she gives a nervous smile to Flo, who shares it.

Dora: Pretty good. 7/10.

Phoebe: We have to get 10/10 just to tie?!

Charlie: I know who I’m voting for tonight. The dictator.

Tobias walks on the screen, carrying a completely burnt cake. Dora pokes the cake and it disintegrates.

Dora: 0/10.

Cut to everyone headed to the Campfire Ceremony

Charlie: Look out for the fallen branch.

Grace: Huh?

She promptly trips over it, loses her glasses, and the totem falls out of her shirt pocket.

Colton: That’s not?

Priscilla: No way!

Lily: You’re joking.

David: Today’s elimination was really close. Lily, and Grace, you guys got our votes. Grace, sorry to say, but you got 4 out of the 7 votes.

Grace: Understandable. Many of you believe in curses, so this was to be expected.

Tobias: Grace… no…

Grace: You got this Tobi. Good luck.

She gives him a peck on the cheek and leaves for the Boat of Losers.

Charlie: I didn’t vote for her, dude. Sucks she had to go.

Tobias: We just started dating, and we’ve been separated so soon.

BoL

Grace: I thought I would get out because I was a threat in the competition, or maybe my attitude, but this? Heh, guess that was bad luck on my end.

Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! Things got heated in the kitchen, and Grace was taken out of the recipe for a full cast, due to her totem being the secret ingredient to her team’s consistent defeat! In today’s episode, we ask the age-old question; who can you trust?
Intro
Cut to the mess hall, where the Bass are eating the camp food, and the Gophers are either a.) struggling to eat the ribs or b.) not eating them at all.
Phoebe: This isn’t that bad…
Charlie: I’ll take your word for it. Yo, Tobias! Are you doing okay?
Tobias {sadly}: Yeah… sure, I agree with you completely…
Cut to the forest.
David: Hi. David here. The last challenge exposed a bit of trouble within the Gopher team. I also sense something funky in the Bass pond as well. So, me and the producers decided to exploit it for our next challenge. I hope you enjoy it.
[CON] Tobias: I trusted someone. Now she’s eliminated. [END]
David: There will be three major challenges that will be completed by two members of your team. Normally, we’d have the campers choose the partners, but not today. First; an extreme free-hand rock-climbing adventure. Going for the Bass; Brock and Ben. Going for the Gophers; Colton and Lily.
Ben: Neat!
David: Here are your belays. There is only one climber. The other pulls slack through the belay. If a climber falls, the belay will save them.
Brock: I’ll climb.
Colton: Better to have someone with a lot of agility doing the wall.
David: Both base and side of the mountain are rigged with traps. The person not climbing must harness the climber.
[CON] Priscilla: I don’t think I like this mini-chall-enge. [END]
Charlie: What’s with the extra harness?
Lily: Backup. We have a one-person disadvantage.
Charlie: Go, team.
Ben: Alright… and you’re good.
Brock: Sick.
David: Start!
After a short montage of climbing, Brock gets blasted in the face by a red liquid and falls, but is caught by the belay.
David: Told you about the surprises!
Brock: Is this hot sauce?!
Dora then goes for Ben, but he simply drinks the hot sauce with some shades on just in case.
Dora then attacks Lily, who is caught off-guard. Lily lets go of the belay. Dora then gets Colton, who says this absolute gem;
Colton: AAA! It’s cold!
Ben: Incorrect! It’s hot sauce! :DD
After the onslaught, they get back to business.
Colton: Is that the best you can do?!
David {to Dora}: Is that the best we can do?
Dora promptly hands him a remote.
David: Welp, here goes.
He pushes the button, and there's an explosion right above Colton’s head. It blows him off the wall, and out of his jacket. The second belay saves him.
[CON] Colton: I don’t think I’m gonna be a big fan of fireworks after this. [END]
Priscilla: COL-TON ARE YOU O-K?!
Colton: I think…
Charlie: Hurry!
Colton: On it!
Colton wins it for the Gophers.
Brock: Crud.
David: Now for Round 2! The Extreme Cooking Challenge!
Charlie, Flo, Phoebe, and Natalie; into the mess hall.
Phoebe: Uh oh.
[CON] Phoebe: You guys saw the last episode! I set Charlie on fire while baking. [END]
David: Phoebe, Natalie; you two will prepare for your partners… fugu sashimi! A traditional Japanese poisonous blowfish with enough toxin to kill a man.
Dora: Fishies! Meet your maker!
David: They must be sliced very carefully to cut around the poisonous organs. It paralyzes the nerves.
Charlie: The-umm- the poisonous what?
[CON] Phoebe: There I was, hoping I don’t screw it up and poison the guy I like!
Cut to Phoebe and Natalie putting the finishing touches on the food. When Charlie eats it, he turns blue, punches himself in the face three times, screams, and falls down.
Phoebe: And what do I do? I screwed it up! [END]
Dora: This kid lives in the infirmary and the woods.
She promptly drags him away. Flo hesitantly takes a bite… and nothing happens.
Phoebe: Is he gonna be ok?!
David: Give him a few hours and he’ll be waking and breathing as good as new.
Natalie: Thank goodness I did it right!
Flo: Gonna be honest… I was very scared.
Natalie: Reasonably so! I suck at cooking!
David: This third round involves three miniature challenges; blind William tell, the blind trapeze, and the blind toboggan. Only half will be blindfolded each time. Since Charlie is vomiting until he’s hollow, he’ll be excused. First off; Willian Tell. We’ve all heard the legend of how he shot an arrow off of his buddy’s head with a crab apple, right?
Priscilla: Actually--
David: For the Bass; Beryl and Pearl. Gophers; Tobias and Phoebe. Designate who is William Tell, and who is their bud.
Tobias: Phoebe, you can be William tell.
Phoebe: Okay…
Beryl: Ooh! Oi have good oim!
Pearl: You better.
David: The first person to knock an arrow off of their buddy's head while blindfolded wins. Go!
After several hits to other places, Phoebe gets the apple to hit the arrow.
David: Stop!
Beryl keeps shooting.
Pearl: He said -ow!- stop!
Ben: Are you okay?
Pearl: Yeah… except for my arm…
David: Ben, Saul, you two are up in the blind trapeze. Lily and Priscilla, you two too.
Ben: Uh oh.
Pearl: You got this babe-BEN! You got this Ben!
Brock: You screwed up initially!
Pearl: Noididnt.
David: The blind trapeze! Jumping; Ben and Priscilla! Now, to avoid injury, we’ve set this up above a pond full of jellyfish
Ben: Say again?! I can’t see!
David: Which is why we guided you to the edge of the platform facing the right direction.
Priscilla: I’m scared!
Saul: Ben, on my mark! 3… 2… 1… mark!
Ben leaps.
Natalie: You said mark?
Saul: It worked!
Flo: Natalie, it’s fine.
Lily: One, two, three!
Priscilla jumps as soon as Lily swings back.
Colton: PRISCILLA!
Dora fishes her out by the hem of her dress and drags her to the infirmary.
David: Gophers, you are down two people, meaning that, if you lose, the voting is between the four of you. The blind toboggan had a steer-er and a navigator. The steer-er is blind. For the Bass; Natalie and Brock. For the Gophers; Colton and Phoebe.
On the way up the hill.
Colton: Alright, we gotta win this! We’ll make sure Priscilla and your boyfriend didn’t go to the infirmary for nothing.
Phoebe {flustered}: He’s not my boyfriend! Wait, I thought you were dating Priscilla.
Colton: Oh no, not yet… but I was thinking of asking her out. Hey, didn’t Charlie take you to wherever his cove is that one challenge?
Phoebe: He sorta just… left me there.
Colton: Huh… Say, do you want to make a deal?
Phoebe: What is it?
Colton: If one of us asks the person we want out, the other has to within two challenges. Deal?
Phoebe: Deal.
Brock: Don’t worry Nat, I won’t tell a soul, do you know how many secret crushes Woody had back in the day?
Natalie: Dora? What are you doing?
Dora: Giving the sled more speed.
Brock: Nat, if you guide me wrong, I think we both die here.
Colton: Now I’m scared.
David: On your marks! Get set! Try to not die, go!
Natalie: Right. Right.
They fly past the rock and tree, but the odd hill sends them flying.
Brock: Wooo Hooo! We are FLYING!
Natalie: Yes! We are!
Brock: Oh no, we are flying.
Phoebe: Left. Your other left! Small slope!
Colton and Phoebe make it first. They scramble out of the way when Brock and Natalie come flying in from the sky.
Brock: Are we dead?! I can’t see in front of my face!
Natalie: You are BLINDFOLDED.
Brock: Oh!
Natalie: We did lose, however.
Brock: Oh.
Natalie: Yeah.
Pearl: Ben, I’m thinking of voting for Beryl.
Ben: Oh, okay! I’ll get my buds to vote for her too!
Cut to Campfire Ceremony.
David: Today’s safe campers are Brock, Natalie, Ben, Pearl, and Flo. Saul, how does it feel to be back again?
Saul: I’m not gonna be around for much longer.
David: But you are sticking around for now.
I, the descriptor and transcripter, can’t determine what Beryl says, so we’ll be doing our!
Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We gave our teams some tools to resolve some trust issues. Not! The teams did a total of 5 challenges. After an apple incident that left Pearl feeling crabby, Beryl was voted out. Now, because I needed a spa day, Dora would host this next challenge. When they call my challenges terrible, they’ll have something to compare them to. Who would survive military training? Find out now!

Intro

Ben: Hey, Pearl.

Pearl: Yeah, what’s up?

Ben: I heard what you said before you corrected yourself.

Pearl: Oh, next time, if I do that again, could you correct me?

Ben: Oh, I sort of liked it.

Pearl: Huh? Well, uh… let's date.

Ben: Sure!

Dora {over PA}: All of you shall come to the dock of shame at 0900 hours. THAT MEANS NOW!

Phoebe: I wonder why Dora called us out to the dock?

Colton: She’s probably had enough of us, so she’s quitting in a flashy way.

Charlie: I’d usually beg to differ, but I don't have to.

When they get to the dock, they see Dora dressed like a military commander.

Dora: Line up and stand at attention!

After a slight commotion,

Dora: You call this proper formation?! Feet together!

She whacks Ben’s legs with an extendable pointer, as in, the kind you use in a presentation.

Dora: Arms down!

She whacks Lily’s arms.

Dora: Eyes together!

She whacks the bridge of Pearl’s nose.

Dora: Chin up!

She whacks the bottom of Charlie’s chin.

Flo: Hey, that’s-

Dora: Do you have something to say, missy?

Flo: No ma’am!

Dora: You will continue having nothing to say unless I tell you to!

Flo: Yes, ma’am!

Dora: Today’s challenge will not be an easy one. In fact, I do not expect most of you to make it out alive. 

Phoebe (whispering): What?

Charlie: Worry not, I’ll make sure we both make it through.

Dora: My orders are to make all of the babies in front of me except one drop out of my boot camp. The last one standing will win immunity for their team. Any questions?

Brock: Where’s David?

Dora: That doesn’t concern you.

Brock: Considering the fact that he’s our host, I’d say it does.

Dora: Rule number one; You will address me as Master Chief or ma’am. You shall eat when I tell you to, and sleep when I tell you to.

Is that clear?!

All: Yes, Master Chief!

Dora: Rule number two; When you give up, ring that bell at the dock of shame. Rule number three; We will get one quitter by the end of the day. The day will not end until that happens. Everyone will participate in the “mini-challenge” and do only it until the day ends.

Charlie: Permission to speak?

Dora: What?

Charlie: We have to eat eventually. If we don't, that's illegal.

Dora: You had the contracts. Just drop out.

Charlie: You got guts.

Dora: You had to in the war. 25 of us went in that day… only five came out…

Charlie: Great-great-grandpa had a story like that.

[CON] Ben: Now Charlie is gonna be teacher's pet. Great. [END]

Dora: Get to the beach, now!

Everyone runs over to find a pair of canoes.

Dora: Each team will hold one of the canoes over their heads. If I catch you letting go, you will automatically be disqualified from the challenge. The day will , however, move on. Nobody eats until there is a dropout.

The teams pick up their canoes.

Saul: This isn’t so hard.

Timeskip.

David and Dora are sitting atop the canoes.

Dora: Come on you wimps, it's only been three hours.

David: Looks like they missed lunch.

Dora: I guess they weren’t hungry. Unless someone wants to quit now?

Cut to Ben’s hat falling over his eyes.

Ben: What’s going on in here?! The rabbit couldn’t’ve caused this much trouble!

Pearl: Huh?

Ben: Hold on.

He repositions himself to be able to look at Pearl, and hands the hat to her. 

Pearl: Jeez!

Dora: There a problem down here?!

Ben: No!

Timeskip the second, esquire. It’s dead of night.

Tobias: I can’t… hold on much longer… feeling… lightheaded…

Dora: Then give up.

Tobias: Sorry guys…

Charlie: It’s fine.

Tobias walks over and rings the bell.

Dora: Alright, to the mess hall.

The remaining eleven jog over.

Dora: Alright, open your ears. You’ve got 10 minutes before night training begins, so get what you can.

Pearl: Night training?!

Charlie: What’s with the garbage cans?

Dora: Find what you can.

Lily: Charlie, do you have a stash of fish in here somewhere?

Charlie: Hold on.

He knocks on a nearby panel and some berries spill out. He also takes some fish from beneath the tablecloth. 

Charlie: Enough for the whole family, eh?

Phoebe: I guess…

Flo: Hey, I found some leftovers from the cooking challenge!

Brock: Shouldn't be that hard, Dora’s been serving it the whole week.

Flo: No, like the pasta and cannoli and stuff.

Natalie: Neat!

Flo kinda blushes… like not fully, but she’s pink.

Cut to night training.

Dora is doing the “Thriller” dance, and the others are repeating it.

After that… odd montage, we cut to the mess hall.

Dora: Your next challenge is a 3,000-word essay on your thoughts about me. Anyone who falls asleep or fails to complete it will be disqualified. 

After about two hours, Dora walks around, collecting papers.

Ben and Pearl are still writing desperately.

Pearl: Crap!

Dora: This slacker is out.

She SLAMS her fist against a table where Priscilla passed out.

Priscilla: ¡Ay dios mio!

Dora: Your next challenge is being set up now.

An incredibly muddy intern runs in and whispers something to Dora.

Dora: Nevermind! It’s done.

Cut to an obstacle course.

Dora: You will all do this obstacle course, and you will all do it until you can do it in under a minute. 

There is a montage of everyone struggling. Phoebe gets a tire around her neck, Saul nearly takes down a wall, Lily gets tied up, and even Charlie gets stuck in the mud at the crawling part.

Flo starts coughing and hacking, and Lily starts sinking into them mud, unable to crawl back out.

Saul: We got a situation over here!

Colton: Over here too!

Dora walks over to Flo.

Flo: Too much!

She promptly coughs up some mud.

Flo: Mud…

Dora walks over and YANKS Lily out of the mud.

Dora: Ring the bell and go to the infirmary, both of you. Your tours of duty are finished. The rest of you! Get some sleep, your final challenge is tomorrow at 0600 hours.

She promptly heads off to the host tent. Brock follows her silently. 

Cut to Bass cabin, all of whom are looking either bored or looking dead.

Brock walks in with a hunchback.

Ben: What happened to you?

Brock then produces a bunch of desserts from behind his back.

Saul: No way!

Brock: My friends, yes way.

Saul: We should get the others!

Ben: Pearl, there are snacks on the guys’ side, I repeat, snacks on the guys’ side, over!

Brock: What’s that?

Ben: Walkie-talkie.

Pearl, Natalie, and Flo walk in.

Saul: Ever hear of knocking?

Pearl: Ben wouldn’t’ve said anything if there was a private moment.

Ben: I’m gonna tell the other team.

Flo: Why?

Ben: They’ve done everything we have!

Cut to some semblance of a party.

After, everyone heads back to their cabin/cove.

Timeskip three.

Dora: Your final challenge will be to hang upside down on this tree. If you fall, you are disqualified.

Everyone climbs the tree and waits. It’s a good thing nobody is wearing a skirt! Brock is the first one to drop.

Brock: Sorry guys!

Phoebe: Whoo! Not feeling too hot! I think… I …

She passes out and is caught.

Charlie: Phoebe! You ok?

Phoebe mutters some gibberish and gives hi a thumbs-up.

Charlie: Ok, great! I think I got you beat Nat!

Natalie: No way!

Flo: You got this Natalie!

Natalie: Thanks!

Charlie: Looks like someone has a crush!

Natalie: And someone is the last member of their team.

Charlie glances over… and Colton is missing.

Charlie: Way to go Colton.

Natalie: Ugh, my head…

Flo: Natalie! Are you okay?

Natalie: I’m fine.

Flo: You can come down if you want, I’m sure Saul will handle it!

Saul promptly falls.

After a lot of banter, and after some time, Natalie finally falls.

Natalie: I’m sorry guys. I screwed it all up… a leader should do more for her team.

Brock: Nahh, you did fine.

Dora: Way to go, soldier. I’d go to war anytime with you.

Charlie: Thanks, but if I’m gonna sign up for the Army, it’ll be as a last resort.

Dora: Fair.

Cut to Campfire Ceremony

David: This was a pretty spread-out vote tonight. Brock, Ben, Flo, you’re safe. Pearl.

Natalie: Yep, okay.

David: Saul?

Saul: Got it, been fun while it lasted.

David: Hey, what makes you think you’re eliminated?

Saul: So I’m safe?

David is silent.

Saul: Exactly what I thought.

BoL

Saul: Guess I was too big of a threat. I know the merge is nearing, so it’d make sense to get rid of me now, because of my “athletic ability” so. Man… not gonna feel good seeing Teana, Woody, and Beryl again.

Outro

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! Our amazing chef Dora fixed up a wonderful challenge of the military grade! Several people spent the night in the infirmary, but Saul would be spending the night at home. Whos’ headed home this time? Find out now, on Total Drama Island!
Intro
David is in an airplane. This time, however, Charlie is ready. He throws a homemade dart into the airhorn David is carrying.
David: Hey!
Charlie: Not today!
David promptly whips out another air horn and uses it. Commotion.
David: Today will be a trio of challenges. First; extreme sofa skydiving! Two contestants will plummet about 5,000 feet onto the sofa, which the remaining team members will move to make sure they’re safe. Of course, you’ll have parachutes. Our lucky contestants? Colton and Brock.
Brock: Y’know, it’s been a full life.
Colton: I can’t say the same.
David: Next up, you’ll be riding Bucky the Moose! Ben and Lily, you’ll get that one.
Ben: Shouldn’t be that hard.
Lily: Yeah, sounds easy!
David: The rest of you will be piloting or water skiing thanks to the x-treme jet ski competition! The pilots are Natalie and Tobias.
Colton, and Brock, you guys are up first.
Hard cut to the pair in a helicopter hovering high above the beach.
Brock: Ever hear what they say on Black Comb Mountain?
Colton: Nope!
Brock: Welp, I forgot. Here goes!
He promptly leaps. After a large commotion, the Bass agree on a spot… Brock misses, and he pulls the cords to his chute in the wrong order.
Hard cut to Brock in a full-body cast being loaded onto a helicopter.
David: Paramedics said he should be fine tonight. Modern medicine, amirite?
Colton(stutering): My turn…
Another Brock case, but this time Priscilla uses the couch as a springboard and grabs him out of the air. In the heat of the moment, Colton kisses her.
Priscilla: I-- what?
Colton: Oh! I… I’ve been meaning to ask you out for a while. Or maybe ask you to be my girlfriend.
Priscilla: Really?
Colton: Yep… heh? So whaddya say?
Priscilla: Sure. I’d love to!
Charlie: Heh, that’s neat.
Phoebe: Yeah, it sure is.
[CON] Phoebe: Coltonnnnn why couldn’t you have waited?! [END]
David: That scores the Gophers a point. Now for the rodeo riders. Ladies first.
Lily(sarcastically): Hmm, nice.
She mounts the moose for a few seconds, then;
Lily: How are you doing there, bud-AAAAAAA-
Lily is flung over David’s head into the safety Stinky Sock Pile.
David: Hold on, can we get that shot in a slo-mo?
After a slo-mo, David says
David: Can we get a good hair and makeup department?! I look like I just fell out of bed!
Note that David looks the same as he always does.
Ben: Alright, the hunter knows he cannot be bested by mere prey, as if he is not victorious, it’s mooseburger tonight.
He lasts a full 30 seconds.
Ben: The hunter is FINALLY successful in his attempts to best nature! It seems the hunter will be content with the gross camp food.
David: Alright, it’s all tied up. Jet ski time.
Priscilla: Alright, I got this.
David: By the way, Natalie will be driving Priscilla, and Tobias will be driving Flo. Sabotage on the pilot’s end will mean losing for their team.
Natalie: Got it.
Tobias: Understood.
David: Priscilla, you’re up first.
After a fairly successful run, Priscilla gets 8 of the flags. It can be bested with great attention.
Flo has a really good run, gaining every flag… but she slips and only retains 7 of the flags.
David: And with that, the Gophers win!
Cut to Campfire Ceremony.
David: I’ll just get it out of the way now. Ben, Pearl, Natalie. You’re safe. Flo; You’re in the bottom two because you screwed up the skiing challenge. Brock; you’re here because you didn’t… jump… right…. Yeah! Didn’t jump right! In a 3-2 vote… going home isssss… Flo!
Flo: Darn! So close! I get it though, I messed it up, and now I have to pay. Good luck all!
BoL
Flo: Man! I mean… man! That felt bad. I made it so far too… looks like Brock is Woody’s last hope in avenging him, heh…
Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! Our teams faced the last challenge before the merge! Brock took a fall, but Flo lost it all, getting her an unlucky 13th place. That’s right, two people are rejoining, in the next episode, so stay tuned for this non-elimination on Total, Drama, Island!
Intro
David: Now, you may be wondering why I’ve brought you all out here.
Ben: Good prediction.
David: Well campers, this is where it all goes down, where you need to be loyal to only yourself, when
Colton: Y’know, I sorta have this thing I wanna do, it’s called eat breakfast.
David: You guys have made it to the merge. Guys, you get the Bass cabin, girls, you get the Gopher. Your first challenge will begin at 8:00 sharp.
Colton: That isn’t enough time for breakfast.
David: Oh don’t worry, you’ll get breakfast… huhah, huhahah.
Colton: On second thought, I lost my appetite.
David: On the bright side, it’s a non-elimination round.
Ben: Phew! You’re going easy on us for once!
David: Yep! Your next challenge is simply an eating competition.
[CON] Natalie: I didn’t buy the stereotype that girls get along like cats and dogs, but boys get along better than family.
Cut to Natalie walking in the cabin to Lily and Phoebe in an argument, Priscilla trying to sort it out, and Pearl instigating a fight between them.
Natalie: And then I walked into the cabin and was instantly proven wrong. [END]
Cut to the guys’ cabin. They are getting along like they’ve known each other their whole life.
Charlie: Yo, Ben, could I get another soda?
Ben: Sure!
More fun ensues, but then Brock manages to get a decent burp, and after, Colton outburps him.
Guys: Speech!
Colton: I owe it all to my brother!
Cut to everyone sitting down in the mess hall.
David: Remember what I said about today’s challenge?
There is a general murmur.
David: Ladies, gentlemen, I present to you, the Brunch of Disgustingness!
Charlie: The what of who now?
David: A nine-course meal of whatever Dora wants to make. Still pleasantly surprised the producers approved of this.
Lily: Can’t wait for nine heaping helpings of gruel.
Dora: Oh no, I’m going all out.
Pearl: Uh oh.
David: The winning team will spend the rest of the week in a 5-star hotel on the water!
Commotion.
Dora: First off, bull bourguignon.
Charlie: It looks like meatballs.
Dora: It is! Well, the latter half.
Cue disgust all around, mainly the guys yelling “You sicko!” and “Why would you do that to a bull?!”
In the end, nobody eats any.
David: I guess nobody gets a point! Dora, our second course, please?
Dora: The next course is pizza, with jellyfish, crickets, and live anchovies.
Charlie: Ooh!
Charlie takes his slice with ease (Alice gets the cricket) and he goes for another.
Brock: Charlie, bro, wait till all of us finish our slices.
Charlie: Aw, come on!
Ben: We won’t get a point if only you eat it.
David: Correct.
Natalie takes a bite as soon as a cricket leaps into her hair.
Natalie: Oh, I can’t do this! Poor little cricket doesn’t even know what is going on, how could I just kill him?
David: Guys, you win the round.
Charlie: Now I can have another slice!
[CON] Charlie: That was a lot better than most pizza I’ve eaten! Alice even got some food! [END]
David: What is our next dish?
Dora: Earthworm spaghetti, with snail sauce.
Charlie: WORMS?!
[CON] Charlie: When I was a kid, I hated carrots. I had to be held down and had them force-fed to me. Now I’ll usually pick it if it’s an option. I figured the same would work for this challenge. [END]
Phoebe: What’s Charlie saying?
Lily: No clue, no time, let’s hurry!
Phoebe: Holy cow, look!
Ben is holding Charlie, making sure his arms are pinned to his sides, Charlie struggles to get out of his grip.
Charlie: Guys, I was joking! Haha! I’m warnin-
Brock walks on screen and jams a fistful of wormghetti in Charlie’s mouth.
Charlie: Ugh…
[CON] Charlie: Success! Ohhhhh…[END]
David: Another win for the guys!
Dora: I got this from scratch. Soup.
Charlie: OH, this does not look right.
Phoebe: We’ve gotta win!
Priscilla: It’s french on-ion soup, it’s french on-ion soup, it’s french on-ion soup.
She promptly swallows all of the soup.
Priscilla: It was not french on-ion soup.
Lily: You’re right! It’s chicken noodle.
[CON] Lily: What Priscilla did was really smart, tricking your own mind. So I got the others to trick their mind as well. [END]
David: The girls get their first point.
Brock: All for naught…
Montage of both teams struggling through the other courses.
David: 4-3 guys. Girls, if you can snipe this we’ll be doing cockroach glasses as our tiebreaker.
Charlie: What the f-
His swear is cut off by him gagging.
Dora: Our final course; Dolphin dogs.
Charlie: I’ll eat tuna salad sandwiches, I’ll have sashimi, I’ll eat crab roll, but I can not eat dolphin! They are not fish!
Flash transition. It’s down to Charlie, who’s having a moral dilemma, and Phoebe, who keeps trying but can’t because of the gag reflex.
Natalie: Phoebe, it’s already dead!
Phoebe: I guess it is.
She finishes the dolphin dog.
Charlie: Aw, crud.
Ben: Hey, it went against your principles. It's completely fine.
David: Tie game! All down to our tiebreaker!
Dora: There are nineteen cockroach glasses. Whoever finishes 10 of them first wins.
Ben: I’ll do it.
Lily: I got this.
After an awkward couple of moments of nobody beating the other, Ben snatches the tenth glass before Lily.
David: Guys win!
Ben, Lily, you two will be getting about 5 different shots. For 5 different diseases.
Ben: Ookay!
Lily: Feel not good.
David: I’d bet.
Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! Our teams had to go through some disgusting challenges, and nobody was booted. Nobody really cares about last time however, because there’s a rejoin today!

Intro

Hard cut to the boat with our two rejoiners, Teana and Woody.

David: So, how does it feel to be rejoining at the merge?

Woody: It feels amazing!

Teana: I’ve felt better.

Woody: Are you kidding? We have another shot at 1 million, and you’re apathetic towards it?

Teana: What are the chances that we actually win it?

Woody: One in twelve!

Teana: Wrong, people are going to be mad we returned and try and get us out.

Woody: Opposed to people who could destroy challenges?

Teana: I’m one of them.

David: Hey look, we’re back! Home sweet home!

Everyone on the boat gets off.

David: Ladies, our two rejoiners.

Natalie: You never said anything about rejoiners.

David: Nobody ever asked. Ope, there’s the guys.

The guys get off the boat joking around.

Charlie: Anyone care for a chocolate coated cherry blossom?

Pearl, Already agitated, slaps it over near the water.

Ben jumps in the air and catches it.

Tobias: You could’ve just said no.

Brock: Woody! Teana! You two judges for an upcoming challenge?

Woody: We’re back in the game!

Brock: No way!

Teana: He couldn’t believe it either, he wouldn’t stop yelling about it on the boat.

Woody: I was excited! Why aren’t you?

Teana: We’ve been through this! We aren’t likely to win!

David: Ladies and gentlemen, our first immunity challenge! Please head to the amphitheater.

Teana: Where is that?

Woody: Just follow me.

Cut to everyone at some kind of bleachers.

David: Welcome to today’s challenge, the time-honored game of torture, “Say Uncle”! Now, I’m gonna warn ya; some of our interns got sent to the emergency room while testing some of these. Heh heh…

Brock: Psychopath.

David: Not legally. Anyway, if you back down from the mini-challenge or don’t last the full ten seconds, you are out of the challenge. The winner gets immunity, and only the winner.

David spins the nearby pair of wheels.

David: Ben, you’re up first doing Snapping Turtle Snapshots.

Ben: Alright.

David: Stand in this net for ten seconds while Dora shoots snapping turtles at you. I’d protect No-Man’s-Land.

Ben: What now?

Ben nearly gets his head taken off by a turtle. He lasts the full ten seconds.

David: And Ben makes it to Round Two! Next up; Woody! Wiiiith Marshmallow Waxing!

Woody: Huh?

David: If you can take the pain a full 10 seconds, you’ll be safe.

Woody: Oh boy.

Woody makes it.

David: Woody, since you made the full 10 without complaining-

Woody: My mouth was sealed shut!

David: You can pick the next person to be up. However! If they make it, you’re out. You can also not choose anybody without the effects.

Woody: I choose… nobody. Let it be random.

David: Alright, up is… Teana! With lake leeches!

Teana sits in the barrel calmly… and simply exits.

David: Teana, due to your calm, please select someone to go up!

Teana: Charlie.

Charlie: Why?

Teana: You are the strongest player here.

David: Charlie, you get to stay in a cage with Sasquatchanakwa.

Charlie: Phew!

Charlie gets in the crate, and nothing happens.

Charlie: Pearl, you are up!

David: Pearl, you get the ice cream brain freeze.

Pearl eats the ice cream.

David: Charlie, the person you put up completed, so now you are out.

Tobias: Shouldn’t Teana be out?

David: Charlie didn’t let me announce it.

Charlie’s seat is replaced with stocks.

Phoebe: Hey! You can’t do that!

David: Contracts. Now, let’s see who failed unlike Pearl!

Montage of Natalie getting out to the skunk jump, Brock to the new age music, Priscilla to the Wawanakwa hair salon, Tobias to wooden shorts, and Teana to the Poison Ivy Spa treatment.

Hard cut to everyone in stocks except for Pearl and Lily.

David: We’re down to our final two, so who’s doing our final challenge?

Lily: I will!

David: The last challenge left is Molotov the Bear. If you can balance longer than him, you win immunity.

After a short scuffle between the two, Lily wins!

David: Lily, you get immunity.

Lily: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Cut to Campfire Ceremony.

David: Now, because we ran out of marshmallows--

Colton: Noooo!

David: We’ll be airing your confessional votes.

Woody: Hey, that’s an invasion of privacy!

[CON CHAIN]

Ben: Teana was a real threat back in episode two.

Lily: Pearl did really well, so it’d make sense to get rid of the people who did terribly, so Charlie.

Charlie: Pearl, you really screwed me over. Respect. But I still vote you.

Phoebe: Pearl could ruin all of our games, I’m not taking a risk.

Woody: I don’t want to vote for Pearl, I vote Priscilla. I do it because I think it’s what my old alliance member Flo would’ve done. It’s a good thing these are never aired.

Priscilla: Pearl… It makes sense.

Colton: Pearl! I’m gonna vote for the person who did the best in the challenge, yeah?

Natalie: Teana. She’s got some good connections.

Tobias: Pearl, she’s too dangerous.

Teana: Woody, he needs to calm down about the fact that he’s back.

Brock: I know that Ben is voting for Woody’s crush, I know Woody is voting Priscilla, so Priscilla.

Pearl: Teana. I’m feeling pretty good about this elimination. I’m gonna stay another night, so is my boyfriend, and all will be okay.

[END OF CON CHAIN]

David: Hey, Pearl, what was that about your good feeling?

Pearl: I don’t get it… why am I disliked by those I thought were friends?

David: You aren't, you're just a threat apparently.

Ben: Pearl!

Pearl: I wish I could stay, but I guess I have to go.

Ben: I’ll miss you.

Pearl: I’ll miss you too, babe.

Ben: God, now I know how Tobias felt. Terrible.

Tobias: I know, right? Must be worse for you because you two actually got to go on a date. I survived, so can you; remember, Pearl is counting on you.

Ben: Yeah, she is.

Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We did some crazy things, most of us will live to regret! None as much as Pearl, however, as she made the most heinous mistake of all; getting eliminated! She was the first boot at the merge!

Intro

Woody: Hi Teana!

Teana walks away.

Woody: Whu- what’s wrong?

Teana sets down her book.

Teana: I’m backing away so you don’t throw off both of our games.

Woody: What?

Teana: Love screw games up. Look at Grace. Look at Pearl. Plus, I find you a good friend, but not my type. Sorry, but back off.

Woody: Alright, heart squashed, but now focused on allies. What do you write, rejoin alliance?

Teana gives a look of being only unamused.

Teana: Sure. Are you crying?

Woody: Trying not to, failing.

Brock: Yo, what’s going on.

Woody: Got my heart broken, made another alliance.

Brock: Can I join?

Woody: Teana, you are now the leader, can he join?

Teana: Why not? We’re all gonna get screwed over.

David {Over PA}: Yarr! All ye come to the amphitheater. We’ve got our next challenge!

Transition.

David: Well, me little scallywags! Have we got a challenge for ye!

Woody: Has he gotten more insane since we left?

Brock: Exponentially. 

Woody: Oh.

Teana: What’s with the bedsheet ghost?

Colton: That’s the Goliath’s bedsheet ghost.

Phoebe chuckles.

David: All in good time. Who here has a hankering for a good old-fashioned treasure hunt?

Lily: Not me.

David: Well you’re doing it anyway, lassie!

Charlie: Are you a pirate or Scottish?

David: This hunt has a twist; you aren’t looking for treasure, you’re looking for keys!

Phoebe: If we aren’t looking for treasure, why do you have the eyepatch and plastic parrot?

David: For funniness.

Ben: You are gonna get memed hard.

David: Whatever. Inside each chest is a prize! One chest even has invincibility!

Priscilla: Ooh!

Natalie: Alright, what do we gotta do?

David: Come pull a clue out of this here box! It’ll show ya where yer key be stored!

Woody: Bear?!

David: Hoping you’d get that one!

Charlie: Dora’s fridge?

David: Gnarly! I hear she checks it for prints on the nightly!

Phoebe: Trees?

Priscilla: Safe-zone… as in, from the first chall-enge?

David: Yes indeed!

Natalie: Skunk burrow?!

Lily: A hoop?

David: Not just a hoop! A flaming one!

Ben: Canoes… shouldn’t be terrible.

Teana gets a look of panic as she shows Woody what her challenge is.

Woody: Beehive… are you allergic to bee stings?

Teana shakes her head vigorously.

Woody: Me or Brock can help! Just because it’s the merge doesn’t mean you have to go it alone!

Brock: I got a snake. N I C E.

Tobias: Is it an alligator pit?

David: Yep!

Tobias: WHAT?!

Colton: Hey, I got off easy, a rabbit!

David: Oho, man! You did not .

Colton: What’s that supposed to mean?

David: Nothing. Be back by 6:00, or you don’t get a prize. Go!

They all scatter.

Lily: Flaming hoop, huh? I can handle that! I just gotta… well it’d be smart to… I have no idea what to do.

Cut to Charlie. He sneaks in, gently opens the fridge without looking at its contents… and sees Dora in it. Charlie promptly inverses his actions.

Cut to the Rejoin Alliance. (Yes, this episode will be cut to [teen] a lot)

Woody: Hey, Brock, didn’t you have this trick for dealing with beehives when we were kids?

Brock: Yeah, but it takes smoke, so Teana, get some sticks.

Teana: Why me? >:|

Brock: It’s your key. Woody, go find that bear.

Teana: This team will be the definition of “I scratch your back, you scratch mine”, huh?

Woody: I guess.

Cut to Phoebe-oh wait, she’s climbing a tree. Colton. He’s with Priscilla?

Colton: So, I distract the sharks and you swim to the safezone.

Priscilla: What’s stop-ping the sharks from ent-er-ing it?

Colton: What stopped them from doing that in the first challenge.

Priscilla: Fair point, I guess.

Colton jumps in the water, swims out, and flails.

Colton {very wooden}: Oh no. I am drowning. aaaaaaaa.

Priscilla: Why are you scream-ing in low-er-case?

Colton: I’m not a good actor!

Priscilla swims over to the safezone.

Priscilla: Got it! That was not smart.

Colton: Hey over here! Vulnerabler prey!

[CON] Priscilla: Was that even a word?

Colton: Yep! 

Priscilla: You are sure? [END]

In the end, both crawl back on the docks, looking severely beaten up.

Priscilla: Thanks.

Colton: No problem, babe.

Ben: You two okay?

Colton: Yeah.

Priscilla: You al-read-y have your key?!

Ben: It was hidden really well in a canoe. But still in a canoe.

Cut to Rejoin Alliance.

Brock gets a bunch of sticks to the head.

Brock: Ow! Hey, aren’t you gonna put that last stick in the pile?

Teana mimics a baseball swing.

Brock: Why would you ever use it like that?

Woody: HELP! I FOUND THE BEAR!

While Woody runs past her, Teana hits the bear upside the head with the stick.

Brock: Touche. Alright, stand back.

He sets the pile of sticks on fire, and the trio jump in a nearby bush. The smoke bothers the bees, who fly out and swarm a nearby Phoebe, who was walking by.

Phoebe: AAAAAA!

She runs into the confessional.

[CON] Phoebe: Why are there bees after me?! What did I do?! [END]

Brock: Alright Woody, here’s the plan as to how we get my key;

Cut to Natalie

Natalie: Skunks… where am I supposed to find a skunk burrow? This island is huge!

She promptly trips over something.

Natalie: Uff! Hey, skunk burrow! But what did I trip over?

The skunk walks right in front of her.

Natalie: WAITwaitwaitwait! No! No! No!

Cut to Tobias.

Tobias: Alright, if I use my smarts, I should outsmart these rascally reptilian… rejecters! Hey, wait, I’ve got you now you cold-blooded cunning… carpets. I’ll freeze you!

Rejoin Alliance.

Brock: You think you’re cool, snake? I can move just as fast as you!

He then proceeds to taunt the snake, which tries to bite him. He dodges, and Woody grabs it beneath the jaw and above the rattle. Woody stretches it as far as he can.

Woody: Gotcha now, throatbag! Uhh, what do I do with it?

Teana: Throw it!

Woody: Alright.

Cut to Phoebe at the top of the tree, so close to her key. The snake flies in, so she freaks out and falls.

[CON] Phoebe: I hate this day. [END]

Oh yeah, there are people that aren't in an alliance. Let’s check on them.

Charlie: Alright, if we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna have to be coordinated. We’re gonna have to concentrate. We’re gonna have to-

Lily: Hurry or else we won’t get keys at all.

Charlie: Fair. One of us is gonna get caught, but the other will get a key! Go!

After a slight commotion, Charlie runs out with a key, and Lily is thrown out with a bucket over her head.

Charlie: Thanks Lilster!

Lily: It’s fine. Hey, wait, I can get water from the lake with this!

Cut to Natalie, who looks dead inside.

Natalie: Good thing it doesn’t know how to climb down a tree. Now for my key.

She reaches in and pulls out another skunk.

Cut to Colton.

Colton: Alright, this should be easy. It’s just a rabbit.

Priscilla: You sure you don’t want help?

Colton: Don’t worry. I got it.

He promptly gets thrown around like a ragdoll.

[CON] Colton: The eyes were red? Or do I have a concussion? [END]

Colton: Alright you stupid rabbit! You bested me once, but not again!

Priscilla: I’ll help this time.

Cut to Tobias

Tobias: Now I just got to wait. 

An airhorn is heard in the distance.

David: You all got 5 minutes left!

Tobias: Nevermind, I gotta hurry!

Cut to David, and most people returning with a key, only exceptions being Lily and Colton.

David: Keyless, come over here.

Tobias: Bandages. Well, it’ll help with the scratches on my arms.

Natalie: Perfume… PERFUME?!

Phoebe: Hey, my key doesn’t work.

David: Must’ve gotten a dud.

Phoebe: You never-

Woody: A calligraphy set. I already know how to-

He’s cut off by some terrible accordion playing.

Woody: Teana, that sounds like a harmonica died due to a throat kick.

Teana nods.

Brock: Well, I got 50 bucks.

David: Look carefully!

Brock: Davidbucks; may only be redeemed for tap water.

Priscilla: Pop.

Colton: You mean soda?

Priscilla: That’s what Americans call it?

Ben: Chips! What the- this candy bar looks severely off-brand.

Charlie: Illtakeit-

[CON] Charlie: I’ll admit it, I have a severe sweet tooth. [END]

Ben: Alright.

Charlie: I guess I get this one. Immunity, no way!

Lily: What!

David: Alrighty, that’s that, so! I’ll see all of you in about two hours.

Charlie: What’s up Phoebe? You seems a bit tense.

Phoebe: Today has been the worst day.

Charlie: Wanna elaborate?

Phoebe explains everything that happened that day.

Charlie: Ooh, that’s rough.

Phoebe: Yeah…

Charlie: Hey, idea!

Phoebe: What?

Charlie: Why don’t you hang at the cove for a while?

Phoebe: That’s really nice.

Charlie: Hey, what are friends for?

Phoebe {disheartened}: Yeah… friends…

Cut to Natalie

Natalie: Ugh! No matter how much of this perfume I apply, It can’t drown out the skunk smell! I’ve tried everything!

Priscilla: Nat-al-ie, are you o-kay?

Natalie: Well, what was I supposed to do? The stupid skunks… I’m so tired of this stupid show.

Colton: Okay, calm down.

Natalie: I CAN’T!

Cut to Campfire Ceremony.

David: Well, today’s vote was… wild. So wild, I can’t really explain it.

I’ll just cut to the chase. Natalie, you’re gone.

Natalie: What?! But… why?!

Teana: I’ll be the first to say it. The stench.

Woody: Yeah… sorry.

Natalie: Aw, are you kidding me?

She walks to the Boat of Losers, sulking.

Charlie: Yeah, maybe she should’ve gotten immunity. Or at least a better prize.

Phoebe: Yeah, she’s in dire need of a chill pill.

BoL.

Natalie: I can’t believe I got out for basically no reason. Man! Only lasted one merge episode.

Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We went hunting for keys, as opposed to the usual treasure. Several people went through a lot, mostly Natalie, who really stunk big-time and promptly taken out for it. Who’ll go now? Find out!
Intro
Charlie: I’m feeling real good after the last challenge!
Phoebe: Me too!
Charlie: Why? You had the worst luck ever.
Phoebe: It’s finally over! The worst has passed!
Charlie: Or it has yet to come!
Phoebe: That’s a downer way to look at it.
Charlie: Well, you never know!
Phoebe: I guess…
David: All contestants to the dock, now!
Colton: There goes the morning.
Priscilla: Awww.
Brock: Can it wait till we finish our card game?
Woody: I win!
Brock: On our way.
David: Today’s challenge is a good-ol-fashioned game of hide and seek.
Ben: So who’s seeking?
David: Dora, with her military chef background and advanced degree in manhunting, will make this game unexpectedly hard.
Teana: What’s with the water gun?
David: The lifeguard chair is home base. If Dora sees you, she’ll try to douse you with the gun. There are three ways to win; stay hidden the longest, make it to the lifeguard chair, or when you’re caught, rat someone out. Winning is immunity. We’ll give you a minute to hide.
Brock: Oh, water, I’m terrified.
David: Dora, care to give a demonstration of your prowess?
Dora: Alright.
She blasts him to the Campfire Ceremony area.
David: Dude! I meant the campers!
Dora: You never specified.
David: Whatever! Campers get a 15-minute head start, go! Makeup!
Dora heads inside her kitchen, and everyone runs around.
Dora: Found you. Hello?
Lily: Hi!
Dora: Huh. I was wrong.
Lily runs out screaming, and makes a sharp enough turn to avoid the beam. The intern cameraman, however, doesn’t. Lily trips over a barrel, causing it to crash and break. Charlie is revealed to be in the barrel.
Charlie: Ow! No-
Charlie is blasted into the lake.
Cut to the lake, where Teana is sitting beneath the water. She puts a finger to her mouth, and Charlie returns it.
Cut to Woody sneaking around the campgrounds.
Woody: Hey, wait! Dora is out looking for everyone, so she probably isn’t in her kitchen, right? Wait, who am I talking to?
Dora: Your demise.
Woody: AAAAAAAAAAA!
He runs, screaming, to the lifeguard chair, but slips and falls in the water, narrowly dodging the blast.
Woody mimes getting an idea, and swims to the other side of the docks.
Dora, above water, is looking around wildly. She then notices an odd shaped lily pad and blasts it, making Teana surface, hacking and coughing. Teana is promptly taken out of the challenge.
Phoebe: The trees shall do me no wrong, the bad luck was all yesterday.
Lily: Snake!
Phoebe observes Lily running from said snake.
Phoebe: She’s gonna give away my spot!
There is a blast of water, and a Lily screams.
Phoebe: Nevermind.
Cut to Ben, who whips out a gilly suit from his hat, and hides in a nearby bush.
Ben: The hunter is questioning why he didn’t do this back during the Paintball Challenge, but dismisses the thought. His mind is only on survival. For now, he is the prey.
Cut to Tobias, who is hidden beneath a bed.
[CON] Tobias: I know I probably could’ve ran to the lifeguard chair, but I didn’t want to risk somebody that was caught finding me. [END]
Charlie: Yo! Anyone in here? Well, didn’t expect it to be that easy. Here comes Nature Boy, with his excellent tracking skills.
Brock: Are you Ben-narrating?
Charlie: Listen, you get hunted by him for a day, see if it doesn’t rub off on you.
Brock takes off, and Charlie gives chase.
Charlie: Darn it! I lost him.
Colton is following Dora, being as quiet as possible, to avoid getting caught.
Colton: AAAAtchoo! Oh… I guess you heard that, huh? Run!
Dora: Get back here!
Colton: You’ll never catch me aliiiive!
He runs into a tree, shaking Phoebe.
Dora: Game over.
She blasts him.
Priscilla is skulking around the mess hall.
Priscilla: A lit-tle bird. Wait! Con-cen-trate. Where was I go-ing? Hey, the life-guard chair!
She runs over, and starts climbing up.
Priscilla: Im-mun-i-ty, here I come! Wah!
Priscilla gets blasted off into the water.
Dora: Gotcha. Now, where could the guys or Phoebe be?
Teana walks on, dragging Ben.
Ben: Ow! Hey, you couldn’t have let me have another chance?
Dora: Immunity for Teana. I’m gonna re-check the forest.
Everyone walks away… then Woody comes in from beneath the dock and climbs up the chair.
Woody: Yeah!
Dora: What?!
Woody: Home base, immunity for me!
Everyone but Teana complains.
Teana: Well played.
Woody: How’d you get your notepad?
Teana: Had it buried in the sand.
Woody: Alright. Hey, where do you think Brock is?
Teana: No idea.
Cut to the top of a tree.
Brock: Try getting me now!
Woody: Brock, it isn’t smart to taunt someone that can shoot you!
Teana: Stop. He’ll learn his lesson the hard way.
He dodges two blasts, but the third makes him fly away.
Brock: I found Tobias… I think?
Pan to show Tobias running behind Dora.
Dora: No, you didn’t.
Tobias: Go! Go! Go!
Dora: No! No! No!
She blasts him.
Phoebe: Yes! Last one standing!
Dora: David! Phoebe, Teana, and Woody won immunity!
David: Five minutes!
Charlie: Yo, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Charlie: I think Brock, Teana, and Woody are in an alliance.
Phoebe: What makes you think that?
Charlie: Well, first off, they seem to be relying on each other. Plus, why else would Teana not complain about Woody winning if she turned him down?
Phoebe: Your point?
Charlie: We need to stop them before they get too powerful.
Phoebe: Alright. Brock?
Charlie: Brock.
Woody: So, who are we voting?
Teana: Charlie.
Woody: What? Why?
Teana: He’s too much of a wild card. Plus, he’s made some genuinely good friends in the jury, which could screw us over if one of us makes it to the finals.
Brock: Yeah. Sorry, Woody, but Charlie is our best choice. We should spread the word.
Woody: Alright.
Cut to Campfire Ceremony.
David: Today’s vote was w i l d. First off, the immunity winners. No votes, Ninja, Birdie, Gogo, First, and Hunter.
Colton, Priscilla, Tobias, and Lily: Hey!
Now our bottom two.
Charlie: Hey, second time in the bottom two, good luck, right?
David: Nope! You’re out.
Charlie: Oh well. I expected this. I only really got far because I was friends with Phoebe, and even then I was sorta hoping to stop that.
Phoebe: What?!
Charlie: I was hoping to be her boyfriend.
Phoebe: I… what?!
Charlie: Is that a no?
Phoebe: Erm, I’d love it if you were.
Charlie: Hahaha! Thanks. Alright. So long, all! Goodbye!
Everyone gives varying forms of goodbye.
Phoebe: What am I gonna do without him?
BoL
Charlie: I’m gonna be honest, I expected to go because of an auto-elimination. I thought I got along pretty well with everyone. Guess I was wrong. Hope Phoebe goes all the way to the end.
Charlie then hums “We’ll Meet Again”
Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We hid where nobody would ever find us; half an hour after when we’re supposed to air! In the end, Charlie did the worst, then the best, then the worst, and now he’s out!

Who’s going now? Stay tuned, on Total, Drama, Island!

Intro

Tobias: Hi Phoebe.

Phoebe: Hey…

Tobias: Hey, it’s ok.

Ben: Yeah, I mean, look at us! Our significant others have been out for a while and we’re just fine.

Phoebe: Yeah, hehe…

Woody: I feel really bad…

Teana: You did what you had to to keep yourself in the game. Charlie just had to go.

Brock: She’ll get over it. Do you know how many girls and guys dumped me? Via text ? It takes me a weekend, but I get over it.

Teana draws a bi flag and tapes it to his head.

This gets Brock laughing.

Teana: Who are we targeting now?

Brock: Rival alliances.

Woody: There’s nobody else that is in alliances.

Brock: Then people that are guaranteed to vote together.

Teana: We just eliminated the only couple.

Note: None of the three knows of Colton and Priscilla dating, because Woody and Teana were eliminated and Brock was getting medevaced.

Woody: Vote for the best competitor?

Brock: Yeah.

David: Attention, campers! Your next challenge is at the arts and crafts station. Be there!

Cut to the A&C Center.

David: Welcome to the Arts and Crafts Center!

Brock: More like the Arts and Crap Center.

David: Yeah, it used to be an outhouse, but now it’s where Dora parks her road hog.

Dora then rides it out of the door.

Brock: Sick.

David: Now, let’s segway into the challenge; build a bicycle with only the materials provided.

Ben: Awesome!

David: Once you’ve made the basics, feel free to add anything you want with props and stuff. And to show my generosity, I’ll even throw in a bike manual.

Colton: Nahh, that’s moldy!

Tobias: I don’t want it!

Phoebe: Gross!

Lily: Ew, ew, ew!

Brock: Finally, a challenge for me!

Woody: Yeah, you’re super good at cars and stuff!

Priscilla: Ooh, I’m go-ing to build my dream bike!

Tobias: Really?

Lily: Well I’m gonna build for efficiency.

Ben: Lemme just… there we go, everything I need! But how do I build this?

[CON] Ben: I’ve only really rode one bike, and that was back when I was like… eight. [END]

Woody: Finished!

Teana: Is everything made of wood?

Woody: Whuh-

Teana: Grace.

Woody: …yes. Want to test it out with me? 

Teana: What’s the worst that can happen? Let’s give it a test run.

They quickly ride down the hill.

Phoebe: Where does this piece go?

Tobias: That’s the handlebar. It goes there.

Priscilla: Thanks! Just fin-ished!

Tobias: Ladies and gentlemen, the poor man’s Google.

He then points to himself.

Colton: What’s 59 X 76?

Tobias: 4484.

Colton: How do you know that off the top of your head? Nevermind. Now, what can I add to help with speed?

Priscilla: The stream-ers prob-ab-ly won’t help.

Colton: Yeah, but they add style! Hey, Ben, got any yellow-orange spray paint?

Ben: Here you go!

Colton: Thanks!

Brock: Nearly done… How do I… Eh, it’ll be fine. Hey, Teana’s drawing is still taped to my head! I’ll just put it on my bike. 

David: Campers! Time to test your bikes! Head down to the beach and put the pedal to the metal.

Cut to Woody and Teana, who are in the forest.

Woody: The brakes are broken! AAAAAAAAA!

Cut to the beach.

David: Nice aerodynamics.

Lily: It weighs two ounces.

Brock: I’d be willing to bet you weigh as much as the bike.

David: Smart and practical.

Tobias: Just like me and my girlfriend. I miss you Grace! Love you!

David: Nice mad max mobile, man.

Ben: Thanks! Hope I don’t wipe out.

David: Nice drawing on the handlebars.

Note: The drawing is of Charlie, saying “You got this Phoebe!”

Phoebe: Thanks!

David: Brock, this is lame. The only flair to it is the bi pride flag.

Brock: Well I didn’t have any time.

David: Colton, too much flair. My eyes hurt.

Colton: Whatever.

David: Priscilla, Nice job! Now! Where are Teana and Woody?

Cut to the both of them running into a bushel of brambles.

David: Ehh, whatever. Time for part two; the first race! You will ride someone else’s bike. If you wipe out, they will not take part in race 2. Race two is a course but with some added obstacles, AND the last person to finish is automatically eliminated.

Dismay to all.

David: In short, you want to cross the finish line once, never again. Everyone pull a name from my helmet!

Ben: Lily.

Lily: Brock.

Phoebe: Tobias.

Tobias: Priscilla.

Priscilla: Colton.

Colton: Ben.

Brock: Phoebe.

David: Alrighty racers! On your mark! Get set! Paramedics on standby…? Go!

The race begins, and there is chaos. Ben immediately wipes out,

Woody and Teana come in from out of nowhere and crash into Lily, destroying both bikes, and the bike Colton is using disassembles mid-race.

David: Qualifying for next round, Colton’s blinding machine, Tobias’ genius machine, Phoebe’s memory machine, and Priscilla’s everyday bike. The rest of you will sit out, except for Woody and Teana. Report to the infirmary, you two.

Woody: WHAT?!

Teana: Infirmary.

Woody: OKAY.

Teana: Stop yelling.

Woody: Sorry, I think something is stuck in my ear.

David: Welcome, you four, to the Motocross challenge! Using your own bikes, you’ll race the course, while avoiding things like land mines, maneuvering around the oil slick, and jumping the piranha tank. 

Phoebe: I’m sorry?

Colton: We got this.

Priscilla: Yeah.

David: On your marks! Get Set! Paramedics… Go!

On a rather bumpy part of the track, the ground beneath Tobias blows up. He goes flying. Upon landing;

Tobias: Oh, my vertebrae… ugh…

Next is the tar, where Phoebe gets so little traction, she falls off her bike. She can hardly even stand up.

Phoebe: Does this mean I’m ou-wow-whoa!

Both Colton and Priscilla jump the piranha tank, and they finish, Colton barely first.

David: Congratulations, Colton! You won! Unfortunately, however, your girlfriend is out.

Colton and Priscilla: WHAT?!

David: She was the last one to cross the finish line. Tobias and Phoebe can’t continue, so the last one to cross is Priscilla.

Colton: That’s not fair! It should-

David: Are you the host? No. So we’ll do it how I want it to be done.

Colton: That’s--

Priscilla: Colt-on. I’m out. You just have to ac-cept that.

Colton: I should’ve slowed down! I should’ve bailed! I should’ve-

Priscilla: Well it’s too late now.

Colton: No… I forfeit my immunity.

David: Sorry, you can’t.

Colton: What? Why not?

David: Cause it’s no fun that way.

Priscilla: Good-bye guys! It’s been fun com-pet-ing with you all!

General goodbyes all around.

BoL

Priscilla: Darn. I made it so far… three el-im-in-a-tions till Al-um-ni… Oh well… I hope Col-ton’s tem-per does-n’t get the bet-ter of him, or he’ll be go-ing home too… be chill.

Outro

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! I made the mistake thinking the 30-minute-late thing was temporary. But onto more important matters! Our last couple was broken apart, and Colton did not take it well! His freak-out raised our ratings half a star! Who will go home next? Find out now, on Total, Drama, Island!
Intro
Cut to the campers watching a horror flick. “Watching” is a subjective term, as Woody is hiding behind Teana, Phoebe is zoned out, Colton is laying his head against a nearby wall, and Ben is playing some kind of video game.
Brock: Haha, here he comes! Kissing couple is about to become sushi!
Tobias: Start the car! Psycho Killer Man is gonna end you!
There’s a pair of screams.
Lily: And he runs away into the night.
Woody: I hate scary movies!
Brock: What’s so bad about them? Is it the grisly deaths? Or the PSYCHO WITH A HOOK!
As he says this, produces a hook which covers his hand.
Woody: AAAAAAAAAAAA!
Teana: Brock, stop.
Brock: I’m just messin with him. Sorry, little buddy.
Lily: He’s not moving!
Brock: You know the fight-or-flight response?
Tobias: Yes, it’s the--
Brock: I don’t need an explanation. For Woody here, it’s the fight-flight-or-freeze response. Seven times out of ten, it’s freezing. Two times out of ten, it’s flight. But occasionally, he’ll just scream and yell and pummel you.
Teana: Huh… interesting.
Colton: Neat, I guess.
Tobias: No! Not neat! It’s highly-
Ben: Hey, what are David and Dora doing?
Everyone runs over to see Dora desperately trying to start the engine of the BoL as David throws bags on it. The pair then speed away from the island.
Woody: Hey, guys you forgot this! Where are they off to in such a hurry?
Tobias: “Escaped psycho killer on the loose. Be on the lookout for a man wearing a hockey mask, with a hooked hand and a chainsaw.” What?!
Ben: They just abandoned us?!
Colton: Expected.
Phoebe: Could you try to lighten up?
Colton looks at her, gives a brief smile, then goes back to sulking.
Teana: Let’s be reasonable here. He’s probably on the mainland.
Lily: Teana’s right. We shouldn’t be freaking out! EVERYONE CALM DOWN!
Brock: Follow your own advice, lady!
Phoebe: Guys, this has to be fake! Scary movie + hasty exit + strategically placed prop = fake.
Ben: He looked terrified!
Brock: No way would they do that! Not when David left... his hair gel!
Everyone gasps.
Teana: 😦
Phoebe: Oh, this is really real.
Brock: Now, everyone to the campfire. I know how to survive if he does end up here.
Woody: Alright! Alright this is where someone’s final resting place is… please, please, PLEASE don’t let it be me!
Brock: Rule 1; Never go off alone. Rule 2; If you do go off alone, don’t go in the woods. Rule 3; If you do end up in the woods, do not make out in the woods, doing so means you will DIE in the woods. Where are Woody and Teana?
Cut to the pair.
Woody: You’re sure this is safe?
Teana: Yeah, I brought you along.
Woody: I’m skin and bones!
A silhouette appears on screen.
Teana: RUN!
She speeds away, but Woody stands there with a look of pure fear.
Cut to a tent, where Woody is thrown in.
David: Woody, dude. That was pathetic.
Woody doesn’t respond.
Dora unveils herself, showing she disguised herself as a man with a much stronger build than her.
Dora: Oh no. I didn’t--
David: If you did, it was by accident. We’re not legally responsible.
Dora: Wait! He’s breathing!
David: Alrighty then, no need to worry. Get your “A” game on, you’ve got more campers to terrorize!
Dora: Right.
Brock: Where were you Teana?!
Teana: I was in the woods and the psycho killer came out of nowhere!
Brock: Where’s Woody?
Teana gains a look of surprise.
Brock: No. You didn’t.
Teana: I thought he would run or fight or something. I thought he would be fine!
Brock: The alliance is over.
Lily: Hey, where did Ben go?
Ben: I know you’re here, ice cream truck, I heard your jingle! Ah! Hey, do you know where the ice cream truck is? Wait…
Cut to the tent.
David: Bro. That was sad.
Ben: I know, but c’mon, it was ice cream!Nice statue.
David: Thanks, I carved it out of wood.
Ben: Woody, you there? Yo!
David: He’ll probably be back in action by the end of the challenge. Till then, let’s watch the others fail.
Ben: Ooh, yes please!
Brock: Alrighty, that’s two dead. So there are five people left that I care about… Nevermind, Phoebe and Lily are gone.
Ben: Dude, why are you thinking of food at a time like this? The cannoli isn’t that good.
Dora: Phoebe, phoebe, phoebe. Lily, lily, lily. Cannoli, cannoli, cannoli.
Phoebe: Hey, Lily did you hear that?
Lily (with her mouth partially full): Hear what?
Cut to the both of them getting thrown in the tent.
Lily: Maybe cannoli wasn’t worth my life.
Phoebe: You think?!
Brock: Where did Colton and Tobias go? Y’know what? Not worth it.
Tobias: No matter what, you do not leave. Not if you see a psycho, not if you hear a psycho, not if he's chopping you to bits.
Colton: You’re just going pee. It shouldn’t take long enough for a psycho to end me. Also, you don’t abandon a man while he’s taking a leak.
Tobias heads inside the bathrooms.
At that moment, Dora charges.
Colton: AAAAAAAAAAA!
Tobias: I finished, now what are screa- Oh no. Oh man, he’s dead.
Dora: And so are you.
Tobias: WAIT, WHAT THE--
Brock: Alright, I’m the only one left. It’s fine. It’s fine.
Cut to Teana, who’s holding the stick from Search, Don’t Destroy.
Dora: Teana, teana, teana, Stick, stick, stick, Guilt, guilt, guilt.
Teana whips around to see Dora behind her. Teana knocks Dora out.
David {PA}: Congrats Teana, you knocked out Dora!
Brock: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You know what?! Imma get a sammich.
A shadowy figure emerges from behind him.
Tobias: Are you gonna call off Dora or…
Dora: What do you mean?
David: WHAT.
The figure raises their chainsaw.
Brock: Could you not bother me? I’m eating a sandwich.
All of a sudden, the cast bursts in.
All: Brock, that’s the actual psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook! (Teana raises a huge sign that says it.)
Woody, however, just leaps at the person and starts beating him up.
David: Dora, call 911.
Dora: I’m not calling 911 on a kid!
David: Captain Hook.
Dora: Oh, right.
???: Dude, call off your brother!
Brock: No way!
Cut to a police helicopter picking the guy up.
???: That kid is a psycho! He almost killed me!
Cop: Which one?
???: That one!
He points at Woody, gaining a large amount of laughter from the cops.
David: Woody, you fared the best against the actual killer, but terribly against Dora. For that, I hate to say it, but you have to go.
Woody: *sigh* Understood. Good luck guys! I’ll miss you! Ooh, a bunny!
David: Keep it if you want. You deserve a parting gift for saving Brock.
Woody: Yes! Thanks David! Bye everyone!
Brock: Bye, little brother.
BoL
Woody: Heh, did you see that? Insanity. Man, this sucks… But! I know my alliance will get to the finale for me. I’m okay with this. I played a good game, and now I have to go… again. Hehehe.
Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! Our campers were met with the business end of our beloved chef Dora’s chainsaw, but Brock soon came upon a real psycho! Woody beat the clown to the ground, but he had to go because he couldn’t square up to Dora. Who will go now? Will we have a third auto-elimination? Find out right now!

Intro

Cut to the Mess Hall, where Teana is sitting down next to Brock. He scoots away.

Teana: Hey, what’s wrong?

Brock: You.

Teana: Is it because of the abandoning?

Brock: It’s because my brother could’ve been killed if it wasn’t Dora.

Teana: Fair.

Flash forward, where Phoebe is talking to Ben, who randomly gets caught in a snare.

Colton: Wasn’t there a hoodie-wearing hammerspace-hat himbecile talking to you a second ago?

Ben: What’s a hammerspace?

Phoebe: Why would Charlie set a trap out here?

Everyone gathers around Ben, then a cage falls.

Lily: Hey, what’s with this second trap?

David: It’s your next challenge!

Colton: Break out of a cage?

David: Catch a critter. I’ll see you at the docks.

Tobias: He’s going to untrap us, right?

Dora grunts and a cleaver cuts the rope holding Ben up. He slams into the cage, which opens the door.

Lily: Neat!

Brock: Ben, are you okay?

Ben: My spine hurts…

Cut to docks.

Ben: What’s with the shed?

David: Patience, Ben. Campers remaining right now are seven. After tonight’s ceremony, there will only be six. The end of the season is near.

Phoebe: Wait, did he say-

David: Your thoughts please.

[CON] Brock: What are my chances of winning? Pretty high, I’m a well-liked guy. [END]

[CON] Ben: I’m feeling really good right now! I once won student council president, and I didn’t even give a speech! [END]

[CON] Colton: I’ve got hope that the finale will be a challenge if I make it. I don’t think a lot of the jury likes me, considering I was a pretty large swing vote a lot. [END]

David: Today’s challenge is to make like park rangers and game wardens. You lot will have seven hours to trap an animal. You must bring it back to the campfire unharmed, and put it in the cage. There will be no immunity today, but now you get a feast of all your favorite foods. Come choose an animal.

Phoebe: Frog.

Ben: Chipmunk.

Tobias: Beaver.

Colton: Deer.

Brock: Duck.

Teana mimics a raccoon.

Lily: BEAR?!

David: Yes! Dora owes me 15 bucks! Alright, you guys get 10 minutes in the boathouse to grab any gear you may need.

Lily: Is there an animal trainer there?

David: Nope!

Lily: I’m so dying.

Brock picks up a hammer.

Lily: You’re gonna catch a duck with a hammer?

Brock: Just scare it into my trap.

Ben: A burlap sack?

Teana: You should try to patent that.

Colton: Tranq gun… should be useful.

Phoebe: Hey, bucket. Huh, duck bait? Hey, Brock! Heads up!

Brock: Huh?

The duck bait nearly hits him.

Brock: Thanks?

David: Times up!

Lily: One sec! I got tangled in a net I grabbed.

She hops out with the net still around her.

Brock: You still have it around you.

Lily: Yeah, it could be helpful.

David: Did everyone get what they wanted?

Colton: I got a tranq gun.

Brock: Wow, please don’t point that at me!

David: Alright, go!

The campers run off.

Cut to Brock.

Brock: C’mere, ducky ducky ducky! Follow the bait trail… Gotcha!

The duck quacks twice and speeds off.

[CON] Brock: Last I checked, ducks waddled! [END]

Cut to Phoebe.

Phoebe: This is gonna be easy!

[CON] Phoebe: I think I have as good a shot of winning as anybody! I just have to get Lily out, something doesn’t sit right with me about her. [END]

Phoebe: Aaaaand… got it!

She dives for the frog, who evades her.

Phoebe: Froggy, you’re messing with the wrong girl.

Cut to Lily.

Lily: Here, bear bear bear bear… HERE bear…

There is a nearby growl and she throws the net… to catch a cameralady.

Cut to Teana.

Teana seems to try and convince it to go to the cage, rather than grab it.

The raccoon chitters and turns its head.

Teana becomes angry and gives chase.

Cut to Colton, skulking around in the bushes. He hears a rustle.

Colton: Banzai!

He shoots a bush and Dora, who was grabbing berries, falls out of it.

Colton: Whoops.

[CON] Lily: I think I should win. Granted, my temper could use some control, but I think I’m a fairly nice girl! [END]

Cut to Ben.

Ben: The hunter is yet again chasing after prey. This time, however, he takes a peaceful approach. Just come here little one…

The chipmunk scampers away.

Ben: Hey, come back! Woah!

Ben now barely hangs on.

Cut to the cage.

Brock: Open the thing! Open the thing!

David swings the door open & Brock flings the duck in.

Brock: Woo! Yeah, babyyy! That’s what we’ve been waiting for! That’s what it’s all about!

Teana then runs in with the raccoon in a cartoon spin around her face as she flails to get it off. She throws it in, sees Brock and becomes disappointed.

Cut to the inside of a beaver dam, where Tobias pops up. He gets a stick to the head.

Tobias: Ow! Hey, what did I do to you?

He gets more sticks to the head.

Colton: Where is that stupid deer? Hey, that silhouette looks like one…

He fires.

Lily: Ouch! These stupid bees really hurt… why do I feel tired?

Colton speeds off once she passes out.

Cut to Phoebe, with a fishing hook with cheese at the end of it.

Phoebe: C’mon little froggy, it’s gouda! You won't trick me, if you want this gouda, you’ll come and get it.

The frog doesn't move.

Phoebe: Fine… one more step.

She takes it and falls neck-deep in a pond the size of a puddle.

Phoebe: Oh, ew!

Cut to Ben.

Ben: The hunter would like the chipmunk to listen, as the pair are several feet off the ground. The hunter would also like to say that all are one in the eyes of mother nature… one love, chippy! Work with me, you’re gonna kill me here.

The chipmunk flings Ben to the ground. Ben grabs and nearly strangles the chipmunk as he falls.

Cut to the cage, where Ben tosses the chipmunk in.

Ben: That was too easy.

Tobias walks in with a handful of beavers.

Tobias: I would’ve taken the whole nest, but I couldn’t grab it.

David: Hey, Dora, what’s taking so long?

Dora: (over walkie-talkie) Sorry… I randomly passed out…

David: Whatever, just hurry up, Brock won.

Dora: Right… sorry…

Colton: I finally caught one! I also shot a bear which tried to grab it before me.

Lily: Sorry I’m late! I got stung by a bee and then passed out, but I found a bear that had a tranq dart in its neck!

Ben: Lily, I wouldn't call you a bear.

Lily: What do you mean?

Ben: There’s a dart right here.

He points to the back of the neck.

Lily: Hey, this looks like the one on the bear… and that deer… COLTON!

Colton screams.

Cut to Campfire Ceremony.

David: You guys have cast your votes. When I call your name, you are safe. Ben, Phoebe, and Tobias… Brock and Teana got one vote each, but leaving tonight, in a 2-3… Colton!

Colton: What?! The tranq gun thing was an accident!

Lily: Sorry.

She then tosses her marshmallow in her mouth, and everyone waves goodbye.

BoL

Colton: Man… I did so good! Ah, man… on the bright side, I’ll see Priscilla again soon. She probably would’ve done better if I got eliminated in her place, heh…

Outro

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! Our campers made like zookeepers, although some should consider other jobs. After several mishaps with the weapon of his choice, Colton got out, now there are six, so stay tuned to find out who will drop out of the alumni, right now!

Intro

David: Attention campers! Head to the mess hall ASAP!

Lily: STOP WITH THE HELICOPTER! It stopped being funny the second time!

Over the past while, we’ve seen many losers be crowned. Irene, Teana initially, Edgar, Rocky, Mia, Woody, Spaulding, Freddie, Grace, Beryl, Saul, Flo, Pearl, Natalie, Charlie, Priscilla, Woody again, and Colton.

Lily: Yeah, so?

David: After all of this stress, we’ve thought of the best way to detox… and then decided it would be funnier to handcuff you guys together randomly.

Phoebe: That’s not okay to do!

David: Our pairs are Brock and Teana, Ben and Lily, and Phoebe and Tobias.

Brock: Whoa, what?

Ben: Lily, you don’t look too happy.

Lily: I’m feeling amazing.

Tobias: Hi, my friend!

Phoebe: Hello, Tobias.

Brock: So, how is this gonna hinder the challenge?

David: Ah, well, this is the triple-armed trials. There is a challenge for each pair. The winning team gets immunity for tonight’s vote. Now, let’s get into the challenges!

Cut to Mess Hall

David: Today’s first challenge; Speed-eating. Each team will choose a feeder or an eater. Eaters must put their hands behind their backs. Oh yeah, and one last thing; this is the Wimp Key. If you use it, you and your partner are up for elimination.

Brock opens his mouth, but before he can say anything, Teana puts the spoon in it.

Brock: Guess I’m eating. So much for being progressive.

Teana gains a look of awkwardness.

Ben: I’ll eat, I’m kinda hungry.

Lily: Alright.

Phoebe: I’ll eat… the food is gonna psyche you out.

Tobias: Why do you say that?

Phoebe: The chicken is green.

Tobias: Really hoping I was hallucinating about that.

Dora: Readyyyy… set… start!

Everyone starts the challenge.

Ben: Ooh, you gotta try this quiche!

Lily: Love to, but we have a challenge!

Ben: This cheesecake tastes pretty good.

Lily: Hurry!

Ben: I don’t think we’ll get points for food dropped.

David: You won’t!

Tobias: I don’t-

Brock: All done!

David: So Brock and Teana get a point. Let’s head to the canoe port for your next challenge!

David: Now in each canoe is part of Grace’s totem.

Ben: I thought she brought it to wherever she went?

David: Yeah, but we stole it from her and broke it into three pieces from this challenge.

Tobias: Hey! That’ is not okay to-

David: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the totem to boney and return. First one to come back wins! Oh yeah, and one has to give the other a piggyback ride throughout the boney island trip.

Tobias: I WILL DO NO SUCH-

David: Go!

Everyone speeds off except for Tobias and Phoebe who start sitting down and talking to each other about their partners.

Ben: Hey, Lily, doesn’t this strike you as a bit mean?

Lily: A challenge is a challenge. Things we do that are against our morals are out of our control.

Ben: But Tobias and Phoebe didn’t go.

Lily: They don’t want to win as much as you or I.

Brock: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

Lily: Faster!

Both teams reach the dock.

Lily: Alright the cave we’re supposed to drop this off in is

Ben: David didn’t say anything about a cave!

Lily: Says so on this note right here.

Sure enough, the note reads: Oh yeah, you also have to drop it in a cave to dispel any bad luck!

Ben: Alright, come on.

Brock: Hurry up, Teana, they’re getting the lead.

Ben: Lily, could you not have that in my face? I can’t see.

Lily: Sorry.

Ben: I think I found the cave.

Lily: Alright. 

She flings it into the cave, and they run off.

David: And Lily and Ben get a point. Now, let’s all head to the picnic tables. Today’s challenge has been great, & now, a winner will be chosen. That is, unless Phoebe and Tobias can win, making nobody immune. Now, you guys can see the wooden heads on your tables, right?

General muttering from the campers. 

David: You need to stack those in the elimination order I mentioned a while ago.

Brock: Alright, so first it was Irene, then you… who else?

Teana places Edgar’s and then Rocky’s heads on the totem pole.

Tobias: Now, Mia, Woody, and sadly, Grace.

Phoebe: Which Woody head do I use?

Tobias: Are there any inscriptions?

Phoebe: “1” and “2”.

Tobias: Use the one that has the “1” inscription.

Lily: I’m too short, I can’t reach Saul’s head!

Ben: Hold on.

David: Ah-ah-ah! No standing on the tables. 

Lily: Maybe you should shot put it.

Ben flings Flo’s head and it hits Beryl’s, who makes the stack fall over.

Phoebe: Tobias, let me onto your shoulders.

Tobias: Why?

Phoebe: The tower is too tall. I don’t think I can throw any heads high enough.

Tobias: Understood.

Phoebe and Tobias: Finished!

David: No immunity for anyone, but nevertheless, great job!

Cut to Campfire Ceremony.

David: Today’s elimination day was… expected… so I decided to showcase your confessionals yet again.

[CON CHAIN]

Brock: She has nobody to win for. Lily.

Teana flips up a card that reads Lily.

Phoebe: I still don’t feel right about her. Lily.

Tobias: Phoebe told me about the bad juju she got around her, so Lily.

Ben: Lily seemed really out of character today… so I vote her.

Lily: Ben just wouldn’t cooperate! I’m really trying to win, and he’s not taking anything seriously, it’s driving me up the wall!

[CON CHAIN END]

Lily: What? C’mon, this is Alumni! A million dollars is at stake! How are you still voting on emotion and not strategy?

Ben gains a look of pain throughout this, which soon grows to rage, then…

Ben: BECAUSE WE HAVE HEARTS! WE DON’T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO WIN, BUT WE STILL WANT TO KEEP OUR FRIENDS AROUND! BROCK SAID IT BEST, THERE’S NO REASON FOR YOU TO WIN!

Lily: That’s… how dare… actually you’re right… I have been acting odd lately…

Tobias: Oh hey, by the way, you left this in the bathroom a while ago.

He tosses an orange pill bottle towards her.

Lily: Oh my god, my bipolar disorder pills.

Ben: Wait- I just blew up on someone that has- oh my god, I’m so stupid!

Lily: Hey, I never talk about it. It’s to be expected. Goodbye all.

BoL

Lily: I have nothing to say. I acted out of turn today, and now I have to go.

Brock: Hey, T.

Teana turns around.

Brock: Ben was right in the whole friends thing. I’m never gonna forgive you fully, but maybe we can still be friends? The alliance is still off.

Teana: Yes!

Teana then hugs him, who gains a face of pain.

Brock: Teana, my spine…

Teana lets him out of the hug.

Brock: Alright, thank you… let’s stick together for the next challenge.

Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! Lily made the people angry. Angry people mean bye bye Lily! Now, let’s follow her on her journey to, not her home, no! But rather, paradise.

He then moves palm tree leaves out of the way, and before we get a good look,

Intro

David: Welcome to Playas des Losers, an all-inclusive, luxury resort, where campers are sent to after they’ve been given the boot.

Cut to a fairly nice area. Mia and Pearl are sitting at table in the middle of the water, Charlie is floating in the pool, Saul is walking around, Freddie and Lily are sitting in the hot tub, Woody is showing Grace a trick his rabbit can do, Natalie and Flo are gossiping, and Spaulding, Rocky, Beryl and Irene are playing volleyball, but Colton and Priscilla are nowhere to be seen.

Saul: Hey Charlie?

Charlie: What’s up Saul?

Saul: Have you seen Colton? I wanna play some frisbee but everyone else is too busy.

Charlie: I think he’s making out with Priscilla underwater again. By the way, you look salmon.

Saul: I should probably get some sunscreen, huh?

Charlie: Yep. I’m up for a game of frisbee when you don’t look like an idiotic sea star.

Saul: Alright.

Woody: Saul, I told you I’d be up for a game once I showed Grace some tricks I taught Carrotcake.

Saul: You’re gonna hold it the whole time!

Woody: No! I’m scared she’ll get hit in the head.

Grace: I’ll take care of her while you play.

Woody: Thanks Grace, you’re a lifesaver. I’m throwing first!

Woody throws, and Saul misses terribly.

Charlie: Nice catch.

Saul: I’ll grab it.

He walks over and gets a volleyball to the head.

Saul: Ow!

Irene: Sorry, Saul.

Edgar: Yo, get the ball before it heads into the deep end.

Rocky: Worry not, I’m here. 

He runs over, trips over the ball and falls into the water. He reemerges, coughing.

Mia: Are you okay Rocky?

Rocky: Yeah! Kinda.

Pearl: Hey, what do you think Natalie and Flo are talking about?

Mia: I dunno. I’ll ask them. 

She swims over to the edge, climbs out, and walks over.

Mia: Hey, what are you two talking about?

Flo: How long Colton and Priscilla have been under the water.

Natalie: And somewhat less importantly, discussing what any couples names for them would be.

Mia: Fair, Colton and Priscilla doesn’t really roll off of the tongue.

Colton: I think I heard my name?

Priscilla: I heard mine too.

Hard cut

David: Let’s see the camper’s thoughts on the episodes so far.

Irene: My favorite episode? Crimson Campers. It’s super funny. My least favorite is We’re Happy Campers… Not. 

Edgar: The talent show was neat, definitely hated Yuck, What Is It.

Rocky: My favorite episode is definitely Feeling Hide and Seeky, but I don’t like Yuck, What Is It. I vomited 8 different times watching it.

Mia: I really liked Tri-Armed Troubleshooting! But, Pain = Game kinda sucked. The mini-challenges seemed unoriginal.

Spaulding: Phobia Factor was honestly, really fun! In an expected kinda way. I didn’t like Cuckoo Creeks, on the other hand. I don’t blame Grace for cursing our team, David definitely should’ve elaborated more.

Freddie: I liked Get Out of the Kitchen, the cake shenanigans were hilarious! Huntin’ With Paintballs was really unfair.

Grace: I quite enjoy Get Out of the Kitchen. My thoughts on The Crimson Campers, however, is that the elimination came from out of nowhere.

Cut to Beryl with a deep and complicated explanation, that the subtitles read as [BERYL SOUNDS].

Saul: I loved Pain = Game, good TV. The 86-Hour Initiative, on the other hand, was a snoozefest.

Flo: Huntin’ With Paintballs was super fun to do and even more fun to watch. Ben’s clips were hilarious! I never was really fond of Poppin’ Wheelies, however.

Pearl: I never loved Not So Fabulous Outdoors. Basically Straining, Yeah? is really great. It’s when Ben and I started to date. Love you, babe! 

Natalie: I hated Search Don’t Destroy. Wild, Wild, Wawanakwa, on the other hand, was the best! Super funny.

Charlie: My opinions on the episodes, huh? Tri-Armed Troubleshooting and Poppin’ Wheelies for hate and like, respectively.

Woody: Kind of ironic, but my eliminations. Crimson Campers for like, and Phobia Factor for hate.

Priscilla: I liked the 86-Hour Ini-tia-tive. The Crim-son Cam-pers seem-ed un-nec-ess-ar-il-y cruel.

Colton: Wild, Wild, Wawanakwa lived up to its name, but Poppin’ Wheelies was terrible. 

Lily: I despised Get Out of the Kitchen. You Call It Famous was great!

Cut to the same place, but at night.

David: We’ve seen your thoughts on the episodes, but who do you guys want to see here tonight?

Charlie: What’s that supposed to mean?

David: Tonight’s vote is a loser vote. You guys pick the next one to join your ranks.

Saul: Neat!

David: Twins, let’s test that telepathy theory, who do you want to go?

Mia: Ooh, it was super fun back when Teana was around!

Pearl: I’m still kinda salty that she managed to stay over me, so I vote Teana as well.

Charlie: Wait, Mia! If you like Teana, then why did you vote for her? 

David: That’s three for Teana.

Charlie: Noo, I was asking a question.

Woody: That’s unfair, he didn't mean to vote for Teana!

Saul: Guys, stop saying Teana! Ope-

Lily: Only one person meant to vote Teana!

Natalie: Yeah, it’d make no sense for Woody to vote for Teana.

Colton: Listen, we have about two more people that can say Teana, and unless you want her gone, shut up!

David: How did you manage to vote her out? That’s eight out of the 17!

Colton: Wait, what?! 

Flo: That’s unfair!

Saul: Nobody meant to vote for her!

Pearl: I’m not complaining.

Woody: Well I am!

Cut to Dora putting Teana, who’s still in her jammies, in the boat.

Outro.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We got to see what our losers were up to while we were gone! Turns out they were reviewing our episodes and contestants, and in the end, Teana was crowned our loser.

Intro

David: Welcome back to Total Drama. This episode, we’ve prepared some bizarre things. For instance, the weather. The rain is exceptionally hard to control. But, we thought our final four had been getting off wayyy too easy. We simply pulled some strings and, voila!

Hard cut to the outside being covered by a few inches of water.

David {PA}: Listen up, campers! One of the most grueling challenges of any summer camp experience is the dreaded rainy day. All activities with even the remotest chance of fun are canceled in favor of the craft tent. Today’s forecast also calls for rain, rain and some more rain. Followed by rain! See you in the crafts tent tomorrow.

Phoebe: Ugh, this is so dumb, right Teana? Teana? Teana, I know you can’t talk but can’t you respond with a sign?

Cut to the guys’ cabin.

Brock: Alright, I’m hitting the sack.

Tobias: Hey, Ben?

Ben: What do you want, Tobias? I’m tired and we have a challenge tomorrow.

Tobias: What do you think Grace is up to?

Ben laughs.

Ben: It’s the middle of the night, why are you thinking about it?

Tobias: Just… thinking about her.

Ben: Yeah, I get what you mean. I miss Pearl. But the thing is, you gotta keep your eye on the ball. Besides, you never know what’s coming next.

Cut to the next day, where the beds are out to sea.

Tobias turns and falls out of bed.

Tobias: What the heck?! How did this happen? Ben! Ben, wake up! 

He pushes the bed over, and Ben falls into the water. He reemerges, eyes still shut, pours himself a cup of coffee, which he gets from his nightcap, and wakes up with a fright.

Ben: Why are we in the water?!

Tobias: No! We are not going to simply ignore the fact that you just pulled a coffee maker and a mug out of your nightcap and accept it! How did you do that!

Ben: You know, I always wondered why I wake up with that stuff in-hand. Say, where’s Brock and Phoebe?

Brock: I’m over here. My bunks are surrounded by sharks, so please hurry, if you can.

Tobias: Punch them in the nose, Ben do you have any magnets?

Ben: I have my nightcap, not my hat.

Tobias: Is your hat in your nightcap?

Ben: No. I have a bunch of sleeping bags though!

Phoebe swims over, coughing and hacking.

Phoebe: I nearly drowned! Where’s camp? Where are the cabins? Where’s the anything?!

Cut to everyone at Playa des Losers sitting inside the super nice house.

Woody: This is so neat, it’s like living underwater!

Grace: While that is highly dangerous, it is an intriguing sensation.

Colton: Woah, look at the size of that fish!

Lily: Yeah, don’t worry about Freddie, he’s doing just fine.

Cut to Freddie in the corner rocking back and forth, muttering to himself.

Saul: Whoa, that turtle just obliterated a jellyfish!

Priscilla: So cool!

Charlie: I’ve always wanted to test out speaking to animals.

Pearl: What are you, a Disney princess?

Charlie: You’re a riot. Seriously though, my aunt taught me some dolphin.

Cut to David and Dora walking around the Mess Hall.

David: Hey, Dora? Have you seen the campers?

Dora: Nope. Haven’t even seen their cabins. I’ve peeled that bag of rotten spuds you wanted!

David: Neat. I’m sure the campers will find their way back.

Cut back to the campers, who are swimming away from a shark.

Phoebe: Ben, why did you think that was a smart idea?!

Ben: I thought it wouldn’t see us!

Tobias: Everyone underwater! Quick!

Cut to the Losers, all crowded at the window-wall.

Charlie: Hey, what’s Phoebe doing out there? 

Grace: Is Tobias being chased by a shark?!

Pearl: Tell me Ben is safe!

Woody: Nope, he’s being chased. So is Brock.

Teana: How are you so chill about it?

Woody: He’s been in much worse situations. Don’t know why the school thought a bank would be a fun field trip.

Lily: Is everyone in their pjs?

Immediately, Grace’s head, Pearl’s head, and Charlie’s head turn to the window.

Tobias resurfaces, followed by the others.

Brock: I see an island!

Ben: Is it the Total Drama Island? 

This earns him a slap to the back of the head.

Ben: Yo, is anyone else a bit uneasy about this deserted island?

Phoebe: It’s obviously a fake set.

Tobias: Let’s be reasonable, we’ve probably drifted downstream.

Brock: Yeah, someone will probably send a search party if not, so let’s just relax.

Ben: Think what you want, but I’m making a raft. 

He turns around to see the skull of a giant T. Rex, and faints.

[CON] David: The fakeness of my sets is not “obvious”, I lost at least 10 interns moving that skull, and only three quit! Oh yeah, about that search party, not gonna happen. [END]

Cut to camp.

David: Guess craft day is canceled. I’m starving, let’s eat.

Dora: You actually wanna eat this slop?

David: No, I wanna eat the breakfast buffet back at our RV. First one there gets the last cinnamon roll!

[CON] Ben: So there I was, making an uncharacteristically smart choice, and nobody was with me! [END]

Ben: It’s really lucky that there are enough logs for me to make a raft.

Brock: If you’re so dead-set on the idea, why not just swim?

Ben: Because my arms are tired from the whole shark chase ordeal.

Tobias: It’s your fault we were chased!

Phoebe: What’s with the purse?

Tobias: It’s a satchel, and I’m heading back to camp. I found a river.

Brock: I’m telling you, search party!

Phoebe: Well, I’m gonna look for Charlie’s Cove.

Ben: Oh yeah, that thing exists.

Tobias: May the smartest person survive.

Brock: So long! I’ll miss you all when you’re gone! {To self} I’m just gonna work on my tan.

Ben: I wonder if the search party I send when I reach the mainland will find a skeleton?

Brock makes a mocking noise.

Cut to camp.

David: Ah, brunch. Such a civilized meal, don’t you think? You got breakfast out of the way, but you aren’t ready for lunch.

Dora: I like to think I’ve outdone myself here.

Flash to Dora playing limbo as David rests with a hat over his eyes.

Dora: Ah, fun in the great outdoors. Too bad the interns are missing out, eh?

David: Yep. Just us and the serenity of nature.

Tobias: I finally found the main island! Should I get the others?

David: Whuh?

Phoebe: And we’re back! Oh, hey Tobias!

Ben: Left! Right! Left! Right! Land! Sweet, sweet land! Oh, hey guys!

Brock: Ah, what a nice day. Oh. Well, there goes my nature walk.

David: And there goes Dora and I’s day of peace.

Tobias: Man, I’m hungrier than I thought.

Ben: Don’t worry, I think I got some candy in my hat.

David: That’s it! Today’s a non-elimination episode. Please go back to your cabins.

Brock: Those suckers are beached somewhere on the mainland.

David: You know what?! This episode is done. We got our drama, David Lee out.

Dora: Wait!

David: What?

Dora: We still need content!

David: Fine. Let’s roll the final four’s audition tapes.

AUDITION TAPE 1: PHOEBE JOHNSON

Phoebe: Hi! My name is Phoebe Johnson,  I’m 16 as of the time I record this, and I’d really love to be on a TV show. I’d like to think that I’d make a lot of friends, but I’d probably get out to a tiebreaker or something along those lines. I really hope you guys pick me for the show, and I’ll see you soon if I do!

AUDITION TAPE 2: BROCK WHELAN AND WOODY WHELAN

Woody: Hi, we’re the Whelan brothers!

Brock: I’m Brock, and this is Woody, my little brother. We’re 17 and 15.

Woody: Respectively. We’re super excited to join if we have the chance!

Brock: I’m mainly coming along to make sure Woody doesn’t get hurt.

Woody: We can’t wait to compete!

Brock: Don’t let us down.

Brock and Woody: Pick us, Total Drama!

AUDITION TAPE 3: BENJAMIN CAMPBELL

Ben: Hey, I’m Benjamin Campbell, I’m 16, and call me Ben. Now, why do I think I should be on Total Drama? Well, why not? I got loads of tricks up my sleeve, and my hat too! I got it from my Grandpa before he passed away when I was 10, but it seems to be able to hold anything. So yeah, why not pick me?

AUDITION TAPE 4: TOBIAS BALL

Tobias: Greetings, cast-picker for Total Drama! No, that’s not it. Hi! I’m Tobias Ball, 16. Actually, everyone’s probably doing that. Ah, it doesn’t matter. I’d like to join Total Drama! My intellect would make me quite a competitor, with nothing to distract me. I’d be a good choice.

Outro

Chapter Text

Dora: Last time on Total Drama Island! We angered Zeus, and paid for it in content. Seriously guys, a few minutes of fighting then all splitting up before reaching David and I? Boring! And yes! That’s me doing the recap because David’s off hosting some fancy-pants awards show. I’m today’s temporary host.

Intro

Cut to the teens in their bunks in the middle of the forest, once again in their PJs.

Ben rolls out of bed, pours himself a cup of coffee and wakes up. He promptly panics.

Tobias: Ow, Ben! Stop waving the pot of coffee around, that stuff burns. And is this just black coffee? I commend you for it, but h o w?

Ben: Listen, it’s the only thing that wakes me up. And somewhat more importantly, WHERE THE HECK ARE WE?!

Phoebe: Five more minutes, this is the best dream I’ve had since we’ve moved here.

Brock: Dad, is it too much to ask that I get a normal alarm clock?

He fully wakes up.

Brock: This is not home, and it’s not Christmas. It is the farthest thing.

Phoebe tumbles out of bed.

Phoebe: Jeez, I know I’m a deep sleeper, but did David do renovations? The floor feels like dirt.

Tobias: That’s because it is dirt.

Phoebe: Huh?! Oh, not again!

Dora {in a helicopter}: Today’s challenge is to find your way back to camp. Or more, this weekend’s challenge!

Ben: You’re kidding me!

Dora: You will be split up into two teams; Old Bass and Old Gophers. I will be picking who will leave today, so you better try extra hard. Better hope luck is on your side!

Brock: And she leaves us with nothing.

He then gets a duffel bag to the head, and Phoebe lets out a yelp nearby.

Brock {hoarsely}: nevermind…

Phoebe: This isn’t safe! We could get mauled by a bear!

Dora: Oh, you’ll wish you were once you meet Sasquatchanakwa.

Ben: What is that supposed to mean?

Tobias: I think we’re about to find out! RUN!

Dora: First one to touch the flagpole wins!

Cut to the Bass Bros

Brock: I think we lost them… what’s in the bag?

Ben: Lemme check. Everything we need, with one exception.

Brock: What is it?

Ben: FOOD! She forgot to give us food!

Brock: We’re gonna die out here.

Cut to Gopher Twins

Tobias: Yes! We are definitely gonna win!

Phoebe: What makes you think that?

Tobias: You know where Charlie’s Cove is!

Phoebe: And?

Tobias: Isn’t it super close to the camp?

Phoebe: It is, but we are nowhere near it. None of this foliage looks simil- why is there a fork in that tree?

Tobias: I guarantee you there isn’t one, why would- hey would you look at that a fork in a tree, I was wrong.

Bass

Ben: I’ll be reading the map this time.

Brock: Yeah, but will it be useful without a compass?

Ben: The sun rises in the east. The sun came from this way, so that way is right.

Brock: I’m pretty sure it came from that way, so that means this path is where we need to go.

Ben: You got everyone lost, and that’s when we had both.

Gophers.

Tobias: So we know that’s east, but which way do we go?

Phoebe: I think the cabins are in the west, so just follow the sun.

Tobias: Alright.

Bass

Ben: Alright, let’s just look for this lake. Once we find it, we know where we are.

Brock: Alright. Ow! Stupid gnats.

Ben: Why’d you insult Natalie?

Brock: No, these bugs that are in the air.

Ben: Ack! Oh, ew, one was resting in my ear!

Brock: Yeah, that sucks.

[CON] Brock: I hope you enjoyed your spa day or whatever, because Dora hosting sucked. [END]

Phoebe: You hear what David said about Sasquatchanakwa?

Tobias: Relax, it’s probably not real.

Ben: Hey, there are the Gophers!

Brock: Hey, try checking a map, you’re going the wrong way!

Phoebe: Nope, we’re headed west. Y’know, where camp is?

Ben: Thanks for the info, but you’re wrong! Now, what’s the best path?

Tobias: They have a map!

Suddenly Sasquatchanakwa appears behind the Gophers, and Brock doesn’t realize because he’s reading the map.

Ben: Ss suh-suh suh suh suh!

Brock: I’m sorry?

Ben: Suh suh!

Brock: Spit it out!

Ben: SASQUATCHANAKWA!

Everyone runs into a nearby cave, screaming.

Ben: Brock?

Brock: Tobias?

Tobias: Phoebe?

Phoebe: Ben?

Ben: Tobias?

Tobias: Brock?

Brock: Phoebe?

Phoebe: Tobias?

Brock: Okay, now that roll call is over, where are we?

Phoebe: In a cartoon cave where all you can see is a bunch of pairs of eyes.

Tobias: Y’know what? I’ve run out of patience to question this. C’mon Phoebe.

Ben: Hey, wrong pair of eyes, mister!

Tobias: Oh, sorry. Are you Phoebe?

Phoebe: Yes… where is out?

Ben: Brock, follow the lone eye, I think I know where I’m going.

Brock: That scares me.

Following the eye trio, the solo eye stops.

Ben: Ow! I found a wall…

Brock: Sick! Keep walking till you see light!

Cut to Gophers, who have both a compass and a map.

Tobias: Go! Go! Go!

Phoebe: I think I see the flagpole!

Ben: Finally, we’re out of that stupid cave.

Brock: Hey, the Gophers are super far ahead.

It’s a close race. People zooming ahead of each other until…

Dora: The Gophers win.

Brock: Noooooooooo!

Ben: Uh oh.

Cut to Campfire Ceremony.

Dora: Now, I dislike botha you, but the one walking the Dock of Shame is… Brock.

Brock: Aw, crap! So close to the finale I could taste it.

Ben: It’s been a good game, man.

Phoebe: You’ll always have another chance.

Tobias: Always pride yourself on how far you made it.

Brock: Thanks guys.

BoL

Brock: Ah, I failed you, little brother. On the bright side, maybe there’ll be another season? Ah, who am I kidding, this one was a trainwreck.

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! I was off hosting a swanky awards show, so Dora took over and left in the woods in their pajamas… on purpose this time! In the end, it was Brock walking the Dock of Shame. Don’t think it can get anymore dramatic? Then I triple-dog-dare you to watch the penultimate episode of Total Drama!

Intro

Phoebe: Ah, good morning. Wait? No strange kidnapping? I’m still in my cabin? What’s up with that?

Ben: Finally! We’re waking up in our cabins!

Phoebe: Quiet down, I can hear you through the walls!

Tobias: Well, they’re paper-thin.

Cut to our Broken Heart’s Club/Finale Trio in the Mess Hall.

Ben: No way! Actual food?

Phoebe: I think Dora is gonna retire!

Tobias: Oh, I love pancakes!

David: Good morning campers.

Ben: You’re telling me!

David: Now, you’ve probably noticed that there’s no wacky hijinx here.

Tobias: Frankly, that scares me.

David: That’s because we’ve decided to give you a calm before the auto-elimination in our penultimate challenge, which I like to call, Triple-Dog-Dare. Please meet me in the amphitheater once you’re done.

Phoebe: That can’t be good.

[CON] Phoebe: I still can’t believe I made the final three! I never expected to get this far! And I’m not gonna back down! Phoebe to the finale! Whoo! [END]

[CON] Ben: So check this out; I’m the last Bass standing. Yup! Nobody can stop Ben with his magic hat! They wish they could. Nothing is gonna stop me now! [END]

[CON] Tobias: I’m really glad this last challenge is an auto-elimination. Phoebe has been my teammate throughout the whole game, but Ben has been a really good friend since the merge. Nobody wants to let their partner down, so that’d be two sets of disappointment as a burden, and I don’t think I could handle that. [END]

The three meet up at a slightly altered version of the bleachers, there’s only three seats. There’s a wheel with all 19 of the eliminated contestants’ faces on it.

David: Welcome to Triple-Dog-Dare! Our eliminated contestants, Irene, Edgar, Rocky, Mia, Spaulding, Freddie, Grace, Beryl, Saul, Flo, Pearl, Natalie, Charlie, Priscilla, Woody, Colton, Lily, Teana, and Brock, have come up with some dares for all of you to do. The first contestant to fail to complete a dare will leave, but if everyone completes their dares, the person who completes the last one first will get to pick our eliminated contestant.

[CON] Tobias: Oh, you’re kidding. [END]

Ben: What are we, third graders?

David: I will spin this wheel here, and a smaller wheel on the inside of it. Each person can only take 6 dares. Tobias, you’re up first, doing Spaulding’s dare. Drop a tray of ice down the back of your shirt.

Tobias: It’s a million dollars, Tobi, just ignore the cold.

He drops the ice, and makes a noise of moderate discomfort.

David: Ben, you’re doing your girlfriend’s dare.

Ben: Sweet, what is it?

David: Run a lap around the island on your hands.

Ben takes off his shoes.

David: What’re you doing?

Ben: I’m putting my shoes on my hands to help with balance.

He then takes off, and about 20 minutes later, he returns.

David: We’re gonna have you stand on your hands for a few more minutes to make sure you never got on your feet.

Ben tries to stay up, but his arms give out.

David: Alright, we know you didn’t cheat. Ben, you’re going again, but now you have to be a mime for ten minutes. Doing anything out of character for a mime means you’re out.

Ben shrugs, but starts to get blown away by the wind. Lucky for him, there’s a rope nearby.

Ten minutes later, Ben is levitating. He falls immediately.

Phoebe: Power of the mime.

David: Tobias, you get Irene’s dare.

Tobias: Oh no.

David: Reach into Ben’s hat and pull out a card.

Ben: I never conceded to having my hat taken.

Tobias: Jeez, how deep is this thing? Ow! Something cut me! Oh, I found a bandage. Wait! Playing card.

David: You’re in, luckily.

Tobias: Huh?

David: If you had grabbed a joker, you would’ve been out. Ben, you’re up again with Saul.

Ben: Shouldn’t be too bad.

David: Beat a sumo wrestler in a sumo match.

Flash forward, and Ben wanders back onstage, looking heavily disheveled.

David: Point Ben. Phoebe, you got your first dare thanks to Colton.

Phoebe: What is it?

David: Decipher the note attached.

The note reads: 4001_3D `/0U

Phoebe: Fooled you?

David: Hey, would you look at that.

David: Tobias, you must wear an ugly sweater for 5 minutes.

Tobias: Should be easy.

David: Without scratching any itches.

Tobias: Oh dear.

A flash later, and Tobias cannot take the sweater off fast enough.

David: Point Tobias. Phoebe, Priscilla has made a cake using the one sushi you poisoned your boyfriend with. Taste test it.

Phoebe: Well, I hope she used it right.

Phoebe takes a bite.

Phoebe: Tastes pretty good!

David: Ben, you get a Natalie dare.

Ben: What is it?

David: Chug a whole two-liter of soda in a minute.

Ben: Are you kidding? I’ve done much better than that.

He drinks the soda with ease.

David: Phoebe, model one of Mia’s dresses.

She does so with ease, the only problem being the dress’s length being near equal to Phoebe’s height.

David: Tobias, you have to bungee jump off of the cliff.

Cut to the top of the cliff, where Tobias, who’s in a swimsuit in case the bungee breaks. He jumps, comes up, and lands on his chest.

David: Ben, you get Charlie’s dare.

Ben: Only one to go after this.

David: Redo the Phobia Factor challenge. Since we don’t have an hour, we’ll do 15 minutes.

A flash with Ben in the chamber, and Ben is sitting outside of it.

David: Phoebe, Dora will be throwing dodgeballs at you. If you get hit, you’re joining your boyfriend in Loserville. Thanks, Edgar.

After several close calls, she succeeds.

David: Phoebe, up again. Make a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, Beryl’s dare.

She completes it quickly, but it tastes terrible.

Phoebe: You never said it had to be good.

David: Ugh. Anyways, Tobias, you have Lily’s challenge; a 5-command game of Simon Says.

After some uncomfortable poses are made, he passes.

David: Phoebe, you have to watch one of those biology movie things. Puke and you’re out. But, this is your last solo dare.

After a half-hour, she returns with a traumatized look on her face. Ben looks confused as to what she saw that could be so scary.

David: Tobias, you have Freddie’s dare. Beat a level of that one game a reviewer couldn’t beat the tutorial of without dying.

Tobias: My hand-eye coordination is exceptional, I believe I should do good.

Flash

Tobias: That was so close!

David: Ben, you have Woody’s dare.

Ben: How bad could it be?

David: Destroy a punching dummy in half an hour.

Ben: Uh oh.

Flash and Ben hasn’t gotten close.

David: Ben, my friend. You’re out. But, at least it wasn’t at the expense of your hair.

Ben: What?

David: Grace’s dare was to shave your head.

Ben: Oh man. That would’ve absolutely sucked.

Ben: Goodbye you two! It was a great game, and I just had to lose here. So long!

Phoebe: Goodbye Ben! It sucks you have to go, even though the final challenge is tomorrow.

Tobias: It was great playing with you, say “Hi” to Grace for me.

BoL

Ben: Dang, last to go. Although, I’ve always wondered where Pearl went. I’m proud of how far I went. Although, I think I’ve had enough Drama for a while. Enough Total Drama, that is.

David: And so, we’ve reached the final two. Who will be our victor? The first to be introduced, fun-loving, Phoebe, or the clumsy, yet calculated, Tobias? Find out next time, on Total Drama Island’s FINALE!

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We said “Bye” to Ben, and now have a battle between Phoebe and Tobias! Who will win it all? Find out right now on the last episode, of Total, Drama, Island!

Intro

Phoebe: Man… just me… all alone… jeez, I miss everyone a lot, even when they were arguing over stupid stuff like who got which bunk. It’s been a crazy experience. Seeing people you care about go… being in the bottom two… I’m gonna have people that know my name across the country! I should probably sleep, there’s a long day tomorrow.

Tobias: This is so exciting! I’m in the final two for Total Drama! Although, it was at no small expense. I’ve lost enemies, friends, and even Grace. No use dwelling on anything. There’s a finale tomorrow and staying awake all night will do nothing to help me proceed. 

Both: Goodnight Total Drama.

Cut to morning, with David, airhorn in hand. It blares it’s familiar blare.

Phoebe: Good morning David.

Tobias: Morning David.

David: You guys got 15 minutes to scarf down your breakfast before the FINAL CHALLENGE!

Tobias: How’re you doing Phoebe?

Phoebe: Doing great. I really can’t wait for the final challenge!

Tobias: Yeah, I know, one of us is gonna be a million dollars richer by the end of the day…

Cut to the two walking out to a clearing, where everyone is one of of two bleachers; one with Tobias’ face on it, and one with Phoebe’s face on it. It’s a 50/50 split. 

Charlie and Grace are standing up, eager to greet their partners.

David: Alright, so! This is your final challenge, an obstacle course race! Charlie, Grace, go sit down, we don’t want you interfering with the race.

Charlie: What?! No way!

Grace: I want to help.

David: Fine. The obstacle course is is simple. Shimmy up a flagpole, run across a board holding an eagle egg, and run 100 yards to the finish line. Oh yeah, and Phoebe will wear a chicken while Tobias wears a cow hat.

Phoebe: Neat. What else, do we wear superhero capes?

David: Ready, set, go win a million dollars!

They set off. Both immediately reach the flagpole, and try to climb, but

Tobias: What, is this covered in butter?!

David: Yup.

Charlie: Phoebe, I’ll push you up as far as I can.

Grace: Tobias, there are rungs to it… kinda.

The finalists both complete the flagpole, but waste no time in setting off for the boards. Due to Tobias’ longer legs, he reaches the boards much faster than Phoebe, but drops his egg twice, allowing her to catch up. Both quickly move on, wordless, but Tobias begins to overtake Phoebe, before Charlie comes charging at Phoebe on a vine.

Charlie: Phoebe! Grab my hand!

Phoebe: Got it!

She grabs his hand, and using his momentum, flings Phoebe to the finish.

Phoebe: Ouch, that’ could’ve been a better landing.

Charlie: Phoebe! You won!

Phoebe: Wait, I won?

David: You got here before Tobias, so yeah. The $1,000,000 is yours.

Tobias: Nooo! So close.

Grace: Hey, it’s okay. At least we have each other.

Tobias: Yeah. 

Phoebe: Hey, you played an amazing game. Honestly, you would’ve won if Charlie’s plan hadn’t worked.

Charlie: Yeah, it was a gamble. But it worked.

Charlie and Phoebe share a kiss.

Cut to the night. Both Phoebe and Tobias are standing in front of the cabins.

Tobias: Man, I think I’m gonna miss this place.

Phoebe: Me too.

Grace: Guys, c’mon!

Charlie: Brock, Ben, Edgar, Saul, Woody, and Colton are about to throw David into the water!

David: HELP!

Everyone watches, chanting “Throw him!”.

David falls into the water with a splash.

David: Hey! Look at what I found!

He picks another large case up and shows it above the water.

Ben: Hey, you stole the case!

David: Actually, dear Ben, it is a second case of $1,000,000, plus the contract for a second season! Who wants in?

Woody: Ooh! Me!

Grace: I’d like a second chance!

Freddie: My performance could be much better, so I’m up!

Saul: Me! Mememememememe!

Teana flips a sign with a thumbs up on it.

Brock: Ehh, I don’t see why not.

Natalie: I’m gonna keep a clear head, and I’m gonna win.

Flo: I guess I’ll join too.

Colton: This time the million will be mine!

Priscilla: I’ll come along too!

Charlie: Hey, I’m all for another shot at a million.

Lily: I wouldn’t mind going again.

Phoebe: Hey, I was in the finale. I bet I could make it again.

Tobias: Same here.

Ben: I think I’ll pass.

Pearl: Me too.

Edgar: After this trainwreck?

Irene: Yeah, no thank you.

Rocky: I don’t know about a second season yet.

Mia: I think I’d like to sit this one out, but I’d be happy to join if you ever need a 15th!

Spaulding: I think I’ve had enough Drama.

Beryl simply shakes her head, mildly annoyed that she just now found out nobody can understand her.

David: So that mean the we have our cast! Phoebe, Tobias, Brock, Teana, Lily, Colton, Woody, Priscilla, Charlie, Natalie, Flo, Saul, Grace, and last and least, Freddie!

Freddie: Hey!

David: Whaaat? You are the lowest placer to compete in season two, so last and least.

Freddie mutters beneath his breath.

David: We’ll see you soon, in Total Drama Action!

Chapter Text

David: Last time on Total Drama Island! We said “Bye” to Ben, and now have a battle between Phoebe and Tobias! Who will win it all? Find out right now on the last episode, of Total, Drama, Island!

Intro

Phoebe: Man… just me… all alone… jeez, I miss everyone a lot, even when they were arguing over stupid stuff like who got which bunk. It’s been a crazy experience. Seeing people you care about go… being in the bottom two… I’m gonna have people that know my name across the country! I should probably sleep, there’s a long day tomorrow.

Tobias: This is so exciting! I’m in the final two for Total Drama! Although, it was at no small expense. I’ve lost enemies, friends, and even Grace. No use dwelling on anything. There’s a finale tomorrow and staying awake all night will do nothing to help me proceed. 

Both: Goodnight Total Drama.

Cut to morning, with David, airhorn in hand. It blares it’s familiar blare.

Phoebe: Good morning David.

Tobias: Morning David.

David: You guys got 15 minutes to scarf down your breakfast before the FINAL CHALLENGE!

Tobias: How’re you doing Phoebe?

Phoebe: Doing great. I really can’t wait for the final challenge!

Tobias: Yeah, I know, one of us is gonna be a million dollars richer by the end of the day…

Cut to the two walking out to a clearing, where everyone is one of of two bleachers; one with Tobias’ face on it, and one with Phoebe’s face on it. It’s a 50/50 split. 

Charlie and Grace are standing up, eager to greet their partners.

David: Alright, so! This is your final challenge, an obstacle course race! Charlie, Grace, go sit down, we don’t want you interfering with the race.

Charlie: What?! No way!

Grace: I want to help.

David: Fine. The obstacle course is is simple. Shimmy up a flagpole, run across a board holding an eagle egg, and run 100 yards to the finish line. Oh yeah, and Phoebe will wear a chicken while Tobias wears a cow hat.

Phoebe: Neat. What else, do we wear superhero capes?

David: Ready, set, go win a million dollars!

They set off. Both immediately reach the flagpole, and try to climb, but

Tobias: What, is this covered in butter?!

David: Yup.

Charlie: Phoebe, I’ll push you up as far as I can.

Grace: Tobias, there are rungs to it… kinda.

The finalists both complete the flagpole, but waste no time in setting off for the boards. Due to Tobias’ longer legs, he reaches the boards much faster than Phoebe, but drops his egg twice, allowing her to catch up. Both quickly move on, wordless, but Tobias begins to overtake Phoebe, before Charlie comes charging at Phoebe on a vine.

Charlie: Phoebe! Grab my hand!

Phoebe: Got it!

The two start to swing, but then the vine snaps, leaving the two in a pile of pain.

Not soon after they get up, Tobias reaches the finish line.

Tobias: Yes! I made it!

Grace: Amazing!

Charlie: Aw, man! I screwed it all up.

Phoebe: Hey, it wasn’t your fault.

Grace: Listen, I’m surprised it didn’t hold. It definitely should’ve taken both you and Phoebe’s weight

Tobias: You played an amazing game, your skills are just better suited elsewhere.

David: Tobias, here’s your million.

Tobias: Yes! I won!

Grace: And here’s a bonus prize.

Grace initiates a kiss between herself and Tobias.

Cut to the night. Both Phoebe and Tobias are standing in front of the cabins.

Tobias: Man, I think I’m gonna miss this place.

Phoebe: Me too.

Grace: Guys, c’mon!

Charlie: Brock, Ben, Edgar, Saul, Woody, and Colton are about to throw David into the water!

David: HELP!

Everyone watches, chanting “Throw him!”.

David falls into the water with a splash.

David: Hey! Look at what I found!

He picks another large case up and shows it above the water.

Ben: Hey, you stole the case!

David: Actually, dear Ben, it is a second case of $1,000,000, plus the contract for a second season! Who wants in?

Woody: Ooh! Me!

Grace: I’d like a second chance!

Freddie: My performance could be much better, so I’m up!

Saul: Me! Mememememememe!

Teana flips a sign with a thumbs up on it.

Brock: Ehh, I don’t see why not.

Natalie: I’m gonna keep a clear head, and I’m gonna win.

Flo: I guess I’ll join too.

Colton: This time the million will be mine!

Priscilla: I’ll come along too!

Charlie: Hey, I’m all for another shot at a million.

Lily: I wouldn’t mind going again.

Phoebe: Hey, I was in the finale. I bet I could make it again.

Tobias: Same here.

Ben: I think I’ll pass.

Pearl: Me too.

Edgar: After this trainwreck?

Irene: Yeah, no thank you.

Rocky: I don’t know about a second season yet.

Mia: I think I’d like to sit this one out, but I’d be happy to join if you ever need a 15th!

Spaulding: I think I’ve had enough Drama.

Beryl simply shakes her head, mildly annoyed that she just now found out nobody can understand her.

David: So that mean the we have our cast! Phoebe, Tobias, Brock, Teana, Lily, Colton, Woody, Priscilla, Charlie, Natalie, Flo, Saul, Grace, and last and least, Freddie!

Freddie: Hey!

David: Whaaat? You are the lowest placer to compete in season two, so last and least.

Freddie mutters beneath his breath.

David: We’ll see you soon, in Total Drama Action!