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Chapter Text

“He’s going to embarrass us, Rebecca,” muttered Rupert.

His graying hair shone in the early-evening sunset, the vivid oranges and deep pinks of its spread sitting in stark contrast to his sunken, desolate expression as he watched his son on the pitch below.

Rebecca swirled the remaining water in her glass around, bored as she sat on the couch. “If the boy wants to pursue football, we should let him. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Rupert turned around quickly, as if a rubber band snapping toward her. The sting of his glare was just as painful as getting hit with a tensed band. “He will ruin our legacy. Everything I have worked hard to build! How terrible, and how stupid, will we look if David plays American football ?” Rupert practically spat the last two words as if they were far too bitter for his liking. “Use your head, Rebecca. If we let him do this, it is all over.”

Rebecca nodded slightly, trying to concede his point. She got up and joined her husband at the wall of windows overlooking the pitch. David, a shockingly lanky sixteen-year-old, had his phone set up on a chair he’d dragged from the locker room and was practicing American football training exercises.

“He’s not even that coordinated,” lamented Rupert, wincing.

“So, then, what have you got to worry about?” Rebecca was joking, but she couldn’t hide the bite in her voice.

Rupert turned away, unable to watch. “It’s the principle of the thing. He will inherit this club someday. He’ll be a great owner, if he wants to be. If he can be. This fixation on American football will be ruinous to him – and to us, if we’re not careful.”

Rebecca frowned, annoyed with Rupert’s dramatism. Regrettably, he did have a point. It would be detrimental for the Richmond Greyhounds if their royal family’s son had no interest in the sport. And no matter what, when push came to shove, Rupert would throw Rebecca under the bus every time. She couldn’t stand another fight with him, or any more alienation.

“So what do we do?” she asked quietly.

Rupert sighed. He checked the time on his gleaming wristwatch. “ We won’t be doing anything.”

Rebecca lightened for a moment, but his emphasis gave her pause.

“Rupert?”

“ You are going to figure this out. You’re the one who wanted to have children! This is your mess!”

“Are you serious?” Rebecca exclaimed fists balling up until her fingernails dug into her palms. “David is our son. Not just mine.”

Rupert nodded, straightening his tie. “And that’s why I need you to take care of it.”

Chapter Text

Lunch with Higgins had become a regular occurrence as of late.

While Rebecca was grateful for Higgins’ undying hospitality, she had become acutely aware recently that he was a less-than-sparkling conversationalist. However grateful she was for his hospitality, she was moreso grateful for the meal’s end.

Today, that end couldn’t come fast enough. Higgins’ conversation was particularly droll this afternoon— Rebecca almost felt sorry for him. He seemed sweaty and nervous, like he was on a blind date.

“Well, this is an anecdote you may find mildly amusing… Julie and I are having our new neighbors over for drinks tonight. They’re Americans, renting across the street.”

Rebecca didn’t quite see how this was amusing — even mildly so— but let him continue.

“Yes, a small family; Ted and Michelle… the surname escapes me, it’s something obscure… they’ve got a son… oh, I’d say he’s around your Daisy’s age. Now as for the condition of the house they’ve—”

“Higgins! You’re losing me. Why did you start telling me this?”

“I’m getting there,” he replied timidly. After pausing for a sip of wine, he continued, “As for the condition of the house they’ve moved into, it’s in a state of modesty at best, but I hear Michelle has a great international law job, and I reckon they will find a better place to stay in no time. I’ve not mentioned Ted’s profession as it’s rather unwanted around here. He’s an American football coach.”

While Higgins chuckles to himself over the silliness of American football, the beginning of an idea Rebecca hated to have tugged at her mind. How purely convenient it is that she’s become acquainted through Higgins of all people with an American football coach, and just two days after Rupert pressed her with the task of eradicating David’s interest in the sport! It can’t be a coincidence; this American-named-Ted must have been brought to her for a reason.

“Well, that is amusing after all. Thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome. Perhaps you could meet him some time; he seems quite… chipper. I’m not sure that’s the word, but I haven’t any else to describe him. Better yet, perhaps he could speak with David. He still follows the sport, doesn’t he?”

Rebecca gave a pained nod.

“Odd, isn’t it?” Higgins gave a slight chuckle. “But for what it’s worth, I think he’d be an excellent footballer in the correct, that is to say, British version of the sport. I caught his match against Crescentview. The kid’s got a strong kick, that’s for sure.”

“He does, yes,” Rebecca placated, discomfort gnawing at her as she replayed in her head how miserable David had looked on the pitch during that match. As talented as he was — which was more likely than not a byproduct of Rupert’s insistence that he play even before he left toddlerhood — it just wasn’t his sport. No matter his value to his school’s team, the game itself had become worthless to him.

And Rebecca worried that David would soon become worthless to his father if she didn’t find a way to fix things. Yes, Rupert was short-tempered, self-centered, casually cruel; but he was his father , and she didn’t want David to lose him or feel betrayed by him as she had by her father.

She was going to salvage everything, and Ted something-obscure was going to help her. And it would start tonight; Rupert was out as always, and David and Daisy had a volunteer function at school. No one would even know she was here.

“You know, Higgins, I could stick around until tonight. I’d love to meet your new neighbors.”

~

He was certainly… chipper . That was really the best way to describe him.

Rebecca watched as Ted Lasso – that was his name; Higgins was right about its obscurity – floated around the Higgins’ parlor jovially, sparking easy conversation. His wife seemed nice, far quieter than he was, and his son reminded Rebecca of a young David. Before he was old enough to understand Rupert’s disinterest in him wasn’t just because he was busy with work, before he was old enough to understand much of anything about his family. Yes, Henry Lasso was a typical, cheerful, smart little kid, and Rebecca was slightly jealous of how positive a father figure Ted seemed to be for him.

Somehow, Rebecca wound up with Ted’s full attention in the kitchen. She gave her full attention to one of the shortbread biscuits Ted had brought as he talked in folksy circles around her. When he paused long enough, she complimented his baking.

“Why, thank you, Mrs. Mannion, I do appreciate that.”

There was a beat of awkward silence, which Rebecca wasn’t expecting. Finally, Ted added, “So, I guess you and I are pretty different people. With me being into American football and you being into… football, as it’s called here.”

“Yes, I do suppose so. I understand you’re having trouble finding work in your field.”

Ted let out a whistle. “You have no idea.”

“I may be able to help you out, actually, Mr. Lasso.”

Ted arched a brow, suppressing a smile beneath his mustache. “Color me intrigued.”

Rebecca gave a laugh out of politeness, and explained that David was interested in American football. Ted seemed delighted at this revelation. He didn’t laugh like others were prone to do, nor did it seem that he considered the irony of the situation.

“Well, that’s great to hear. At least that makes two of us, right?”

Rebecca had initially planned to tell Ted about her task of turning David off the sport, but Ted seemed quite capable of doing that without instruction. His easygoing nature and folksy anecdotes would annoy the too-cynical-for-his-age David in ten seconds flat. It would be easy, painless, and Rebecca would not feel guilty when it was all over. It’s not like she was going to ruin her son’s only passion personally.

She downed the rest of the cheap wine Higgins had served her and offered Ted a job as David’s personal coach.

Chapter Text

Ted Lasso greatly enjoyed being a stay-at-home Dad in the UK. For one thing, there were several other fathers of kids in Henry’s primary school class who he’d easily befriended. For another, he was still incredibly jetlagged and wholly unused to the new time zone.

But there was a downside: he was quite bored once Henry and Michelle were both out for the day. He’d never felt more useless. He couldn’t do anything for his family, and he couldn’t even support them.

So, when by pure happenstance, he got offered a job doing the one thing he loved to, he jumped on the offer.

“I haven’t even mentioned hours yet, or even pay,” replied Rebecca, his new neighbor’s boss (question mark on that. He wasn’t sure if she was the actual boss or just more important than Higgins. That much was abundantly clear, but the rest remained a mystery thus far.) She brushed biscuit crumbs off one hand’s fingertips with her other before folding them politely. “How does, I don’t know, one-fifty sound?”

“One-fifty, yeah, that sounds good,” Ted replied with a shrug. Internally, he was lost. Was that £1.50? £150.00? And for what period of time? He barely had a grasp on the conversion rate as it was.

“Then it’s settled. One hundred fifty-thousand per annum. And, don’t worry if you don’t want to stay for a whole year. You’ll still get the money.” Rebecca withdrew a checkbook from her small purse and began drafting a check for that very amount.

Ted blinked repeatedly. “You mean, you’ll pay me crazy money to teach your son how to play football? I mean, I’m real grateful and all, but that sure is a lot, and it does not have to be a lump sum!”

“Don’t worry about it.” Rebecca pressed the check into his hands. “Rupert won’t even know it’s missing.”

Ted quirked an eyebrow.

“My husband, Rupert, he’s… a bit… neurotic,” Rebecca said quietly. “If you ever encounter him while training David, do avoid him. He’s not much fun.”

“Real life of the party type, huh?” joked Ted. “That’s what we called my grandma. Heck, even when she died she was the life of the party. ‘Specially at her funeral. We all told the best stories ‘bout her. Like the time she lit up a celery stick thinkin’ it was a cigarette. She was a hoot and a half, I’ll tell ya.”

Rebecca returned a neutral smile. “When can you start?”

~

It was overcast on the “pitch” when Ted took to it on a grey Thursday. The evening, though, would soon give way to night, and Ted was eager to see the place all lit up like the stadiums were back home. He missed that, the hot lights and the short grass.

David was tall, but unimposing. Even from a good distance, Ted could tell the kid wasn’t exactly built for the tackle-heavy sport that was American football. No, thought Ted, this kid would make an excellent bassoon player. As he approached the boy, kicking a football (the round kind) around the pitch aimlessly, Ted called out to him.

“Hey there, David, my name’s Ted.”

“You’re American.” There was curiosity in the teen’s voice.

“That I am. All the way from Kansas. I coach college ball there.”

“College football?”

Something of a smile had broken across the flat, angular face that seemed too sad to be that of a child’s. The smile widened as he explained, “I’m a Northwestern fan myself. I’d like to go there for college, you know?”

Ted nodded. “It’s a good school. Great school. I wish you luck.”

“I want to play for them. Their team. But…” David glanced up at the office windows visible from the pitch, where a light went out at the turn of his head. “I suppose it’s a bit of a long shot they’ll let me. I’m shocked as it is that they’re letting you near this place, let alone letting you talk to me.”

Ted switched out David’s round ball for the correctly shaped one. “What do you mean?”

David scoffed. “You’ve met my parents, haven’t you?”

“I’ve met your mom.”

“Oh,” David nodded. “Well, she only does what he wants anyway. And he thinks I’m going to embarrass him or some shit.”

“How could you embarrass them?” Ted’s brow creased with concern. David was painting a more unflattering picture of Rupert and Rebecca than Rebecca had painted, but why would she? And to think he thought it was nice to take an interest in her son’s life when she easily could have paid someone else to…

David picked up the American football gingerly, as if it were made of glass. “Never actually held one before.”

Ted decided to let his unanswered question slide. “How ‘bout we start with a catch? Back and forth. Get you used to the shape.”

David nodded. “Alright, then.”

~

Upstairs, Rebecca watched anxiously. In the dark, since David had looked up her way. She sat still, quiet, watching as the stadium’s lights came on, illuminating Ted as he had a catch with David. How come David was enjoying himself? He seemed to be getting on fine with Ted, despite the man’s purely irritating demeanor.

She had to admit, though, how ironic it was that this random American was doing more for her son within five minutes of meeting him than his father had done in sixteen years.

She just had to hope there was something faulty about Ted Lasso. He couldn’t be the easygoing, charming, charismatic fellow he seemed to be all the time . Surely he would annoy David. Surely either one would get bored or frustrated and want to quit. And it wouldn’t matter; Ted would have his money, and David would have lost his interest in the sport.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, giving her a momentary release from her worries about Ted Lasso.

A text from Daisy. She rarely got those. The six-year-old was not allowed much screen time.

Daisy: Daddy is not home and Ella has to leave

Daisy: I am going to be home by my self.

Daisy: Come home please?

Rupert couldn’t do one fucking thing, could he? Where was he? It was going on seven. She stressed to him this morning that Ella, the Mannions’ long-suffering babysitter who was barely David’s age, needed to leave at six. Rebecca was extremely grateful she’d stayed as long as she had.

Rebecca: I’m on my way xoxo.

Gathering her things and moving to leave, she stole one last glance out at the pitch, at David, genuinely enjoying himself for once.

No matter how short an enjoyment it would be, she was glad he was getting it.

~

“David!”

The boy turned at the sound of his mother’s voice. Its suddenness startled even Ted, who didn’t even know Rebecca was at the club.

“Yes, Mum?”

“Your father’s not home yet to watch Daisy, so I’m going home to relieve Ella. I’ll send the car back for you, alright?”

“I’ll walk,” David replied tersely, tossing the football quite hard at Ted’s chest. (His skills were improving rapidly.)

“At night?”

“Yes. I walk to school, don’t I?”

“Because you refuse the car.”

Ted felt awkward as the American fly on the wall of their shouted disagreement, shouted not out of anger but simply because they were too far away from each other.

“I can give him a lift,” offered Ted. “Well, to be fair now, I don’t have my UK license yet, but I’ll see to it that he gets home safe.”

David glared at him but consented. Rebecca left swiftly, thanking Ted over her shoulder.

Once she’d gone, Ted tossed the ball back to him. “Who’s Daisy?”

“My sister.”

“Didn’t know you had one.”

“We met ten minutes ago, why would you?”

They passed the ball between one another silently. Awkward minutes passed.

“I get the sense that your family puts a lot of pressure on you,” observed Ted. The boy’s demeanor became markedly changed whenever his family was discussed.

“Yeah,” replied David bleakly. “But my sister’s not horrible. She’s six, though, so she will be in time. Once she realizes how fucked up we all are. Or, if she doesn’t realize, she’ll be just like them.”

Ted tried to think of something to say in response, but David continued before he could articulate something that unpacked even a slight bit of his statement. “That’s why I want to go to the states for school, you know? Get the hell out of here. Do something they hate, something I can only do there.”

He smiled, throwing the ball back to Ted in a perfect spiral. “American football is my ticket out of here.”

Chapter Text

Rebecca was not often rendered speechless.

She was, however, tonight. Daisy, who had grown into her name with tangles of blonde hair that flowed out of any and all means of containment, sat across from her at their breakfast nook. Daisy liked to eat dinner here; she considered it rebellious and fun to do so. She hated the formal dining room; it was too big.

Rebecca agreed, and all the girl was having was noodles anyway, so she let her. Rebecca sat across from her, in silence, but her silence became involuntary when Daisy asked in a small voice, “Do you think Daddy loves me?”

A million thoughts rushed at Rebecca; none of them good. All of them were staccato notes of sheer panic, of heartbreak. Of realizing that a girl so often caught up in a book or a game may be far more perceptive than she gave her credit for.

“What makes you ask that, Daisy? Of course he loves you.”

Daisy skewered a noodle on her fork with a chubby fist. “He never comes home on time to see me.”

Rebecca knew that statement could also easily apply to herself,  but she had the sinking feeling that Daisy was not confiding in Rupert about whether or not Rebecca loved her.

“Well, Daddy is a very busy man.” Rebecca felt sick making excuses for him. “And he is not always the best at communicating how he feels. But he does love you, Daisy.”

Daisy nodded slowly, convinced slightly but not completely. “Okay.”

Rebecca stared at the wall, focusing on a slight imperfection in the wallpaper. She wished it would drive her mad. She would do anything not to cry right now.

~

“So, is the kicker like, the worst position on the team?”

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s the only one you seem to think I’ll be good at.”

“It’s not the worst by any means. It’s important! I just think your soccer background will help ya out if we focus on that. You’re a great candidate all around, though. I’m just trying to make sure you get to play at Northwestern.”

David beamed, his teeth reflecting the overhead streetlight as Ted walked him back to his home. “Cool. Thank you.” He had his mother’s smile. Ted thought probably neither one smiled much. It was a personal goal of his to see them as happy as they did look when a rare smile showed through.

As they approached the house, David’s smile faded. Just beyond its royal gates, a sleek black car sat outside. “He’s home,” David observed.

“Ah,” Ted said neutrally.

“I wish he wasn’t sometimes, you know? Then again, he rarely is.”

“Busy guy?”

David scoffed. “You could say that.” He swallowed hard, cracking his knuckles. “Anyway, thanks for the lesson. Are you coming back next week?”

As David entered a code on the keypad by the gate, Ted replied, “Sure I will. You free?”

The boy nodded. “I’ll see you then.”

He went in, shutting the gate behind him. Ted watched him trudge to the grandiose entrance. It took a while, what with the garden to get through, and Ted’s eyes wandered to the upper level of the house. A light was on in the corner window. The figures of two adults were in hazy view beyond a curtain, lit by bright lamplight. Even with the great obscuration and distance between them, Ted could tell the two were arguing.

Ted whistled to himself. David may not look the part of an American footballer; he may not have the muscles or brawn, but he had a feeling he was more than strong enough to play on any team.

~

“Do you realize how fucked up that is? Do you?”

He sat on a small, overstuffed ottoman, taking his shoes off delicately. His bowtie was loosened, his cufflinks discarded on the dresser, but he still had the arrogant air of an uptight businessman around him.

“Daisy is a child, Rebecca, she doesn’t have the strongest grip on reality.”

“She knows enough. We both know that. She has fucking eyes, Rupert. And fucking feelings ! You’re so worried about David’s goddamn football ruining your legacy? Guess what? He is part of that legacy, too, and so is Daisy. You can’t ignore them.”

Rupert’s eyes flitted briefly to Rebecca’s. In the net of his gaze, she tightened her grip on the nightstand next to her. “You know I’m right,” she said, quieter than she had been before.

Rupert stood up, still imposing in his sock feet. “Well,” he began, sauntering toward her, “How do you recommend I show Daisy I love her? Have a tea party? Read to her?” He listed off these things as if they were unthinkably ridiculous.

“Yes! She’s six years old for god’s sakes, she’d fucking love that!”

Rupert rolled her eyes. “All right.”

“Will you really?”

Rupert gave a slow nod.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you don’t trust me.”

“Why should I?”

Rupert frowned. “Why are you cross with me, Rebecca?”

Rebecca turned away, toward the window. Her eyes landed immediately - and accidentally - on Ted Lasso as he watched David trek back to the house. It was kind of him, she thought, to walk him all the way here. His rental is on the complete other side of town.

“I just…” Rebecca trailed off. “I used to be able to tolerate you better. I used to be able to pretend that you cared about the children. About me. But it’s getting harder.”

Rupert laughed. “Why? Because I’m older now? Not so charming?”

“No. You’re just… callous, I think. Self-centered. Arrogant.”

She turned from the window. “I want our children to have a relationship with you. I want to have a relationship with you. But you need to change. Or something else will.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’ll leave you.”

Rupert laughed. “You won’t.”

Rebecca hated how confidently he’d said it. But she knew, in a way, he was right. She threatened to leave him biannually anymore. But she never really let herself do it. She thought the kids would be upset.

But they were now, anyway.

And so was she.

Chapter Text

David had heard his parents argue before. This was nothing new.

New, however, was Daisy’s presence next to him as he pressed his ear against his parents’ bedroom door. He never worried about accidentally overhearing them having sex. He doubted they ever did that anymore. He would doubt they ever had, if he and Daisy were not evidence of the gross contrary.

“Is Daddy angry?” whispered Daisy, quietly.

“A little. But Mum’s proper pissed.”

Daisy smiled a little. “That’s a bad word.”

“No, it’s not. You should hear them .”

Daisy pressed her ear against the door harder. “I can’t hear anything!”

David almost laughed at his mother’s threat to leave his father. He’d heard that before. Often. If he was allowed to drink, it could become a drinking game. David wished she would just do it already. He didn’t know what, really, she was waiting for.

His observance of the conversation soon grew boring; they rehashed the same three fights over and over. But a new storyline floated in, and it gripped him instantly.

RUPERT: [probably while doing something douchey like burnishing his cufflinks] By the way, I don’t understand why you hired Ted fucking Lasso to help get David off the American idiot bandwagon. And why the fuck did you pay him one hundred fifty pounds? He’s not traumatizing him! Just do it yourself. Just go in his room and say, ‘Cut the bullshit.’ Is that hard, Rebecca?

REBECCA: [probably wishing he would somehow choke on a cufflink as he burnishes it] Yes. It is hard. It’s hard when you care about the person, Rupert, but you wouldn’t fucking know that. I’m letting him down easy.

RUPERT: If this backfires, it’s on you. I’m not losing money on this. I’m not losing my reputation on this.

REBECCA: It won’t backfire. Ted Lasso is extremely annoying.

David pulled his ear away from the door as if flames were heating its other side.

“What are they saying now?” whispered Daisy eagerly.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

David strode off, gesturing for Daisy to follow. “Let’s get a game started.”

~

David always crushed it at sports video games. Madden NFL had been his thing since he was little, before he even understood what American football could do for him. But tonight, he was preoccupied, and Daisy – who barely understood the game – was kicking his ass.

The glow of the TV in his room was the only light; the rest was dark. At its edges, the TV blurred. He focused hard, staring. He felt nothing except a bitter something like betrayal. That and Daisy’s ankle in his back as she laid alongside him, kicking her legs aimlessly.

He wasn’t even sure he was mad at his mother. He wasn’t surprised by her. Of course she acted on his father’s word. Of course she tried to come off innocent. But what he didn’t understand was Ted Lasso. He seemed nice, genuine. Maybe he was duped, as he had been.

But he got money, lots of money, for his trouble. He had to know what was going on.

Nobody is that genuine, that optimistic, to think his mother didn’t have an ulterior motive.

“You’re no fun, David, you’re barely playing,” whined Daisy.

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m no fucking fun.”

“That’s a bad wo–”

“Stop! Just stop, Daisy. It doesn’t matter what we say. They’re not listening anyway.”

Daisy looked hurt; David regretted having said anything. “I’m sorry, Daisy, I–”

“Don’t yell at me.” Daisy got off the bed, jumping to the floor. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”

She left the room quickly, leaving the door open as she went. David watched their game, on the paused screen, until his eyes hurt.

“David?” her voice was soft, almost comforting. He glanced up to see his mother in the doorway, arms folded across her tied-tight robe. “Daisy said you two aren’t getting along.”

“Yeah. It’s my fault.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. I don’t want to talk about anything.”

Rebecca sighed. “I understand.”

“Do you want to know how my football training went?”

“Yes. How was it?”

“I loved it. It was excellent. I’m going to keep doing it, and I’m going to get a career in it, and I’m going to get so many fucking concussions and–”

“David!”

“I know you hired him because you think he’s annoying, but guess what? He’s nice. There is a difference.”

Rebecca bit her lip. Even in the low, glow of the TV, David could tell her eyes were glassed over with tears. “I’m so sorry, David, I… you know I don’t–”

“I’m done talking about this.”

“Can we resume tomorrow?”

David shrugged. “Maybe.”

Rebecca moved closer, reaching out to brush a section of hair out of his face. “Goodnight, darling.”

He waited until she’d left to say goodnight back.

~

David tried to sleep. But all that came was a deep, hollow, existential dread in the pit of his stomach. He had a geometry test tomorrow. His parents’ fighting was heating up. His sister was mad at him and it was his fault. He forgot to do his physics homework.

“Let it all roll off your back, like you’re a slick li’l seal at the zoo,” Ted Lasso had told him upon his missing six punts in a row. What a dumb little saying.

But it made him smile a little, now. He wished he could let go of things like a seal.

He wished he knew how much Ted Lasso knew. Was there something deceitful behind that genuine, good-hearted facade? Or had his mother tricked him into it? Which did he want to be true – which was worse?

Figuring sleep would not come, and actually doing his homework was of no use, David dressed again, slipping into tennis shoes and a hoodie. Like he did on the weekends, when his friend Ben’s basement and the alcohol it contained called to him, he slipped out of his bedroom window, clambered down the rose-dotted trellis, and leapt into an empty space in a hedge. From there, he hurried off under the cover of darkness to the Higgins’ house, knowing Ted Lasso’s would be just across the street.

He got a bit lost; it had been ages since he’d been at the Higgins’. They used to babysit him when he was quite young, but he had not been back since. But, as the streets nearby eventually came into focus, it came back to him. Like riding a bike, except he never actually learned. Who would have taught him - his father?

Right as David’s fist was poised over the Lassos’ front door, he realized how ridiculous he was being. He was going to knock on a near-stranger’s door in the middle of the night just to ask why he was doing his own job.

“Dude, you need to get a fucking grip,” he said to himself quietly. He hated talking to himself.

A window slid open on the upper floor. “David? I thought I could sense some teenage angst out here.”

Ted peered out at him, leaning out the window like a Shakespearean protagonist.

“Um, hi, sorry,” David called up. “Do you have a minute?”

“Call me Lesley Stahl, ‘cause I’ve got sixty minutes.” At David’s blank stare, he added, “Never mind, it’s an American thing. Anyway, I’ll be right down.”

The window shut and David stuffed his hands in his pockets. The air had a slight chill, and it was unnerving. As was the realization that David had just walked all the way across Richmond in the middle of the night. His parents would not be pleased. What if Higgins saw him? So many things could go wrong.

Ted opened the front door; he was in his pajamas. “Wanna come in?”

“If you don’t mind.”

Ted nodded and moved back from the door, allowing David inside. “Let’s chat.”

As Ted led David to the couch nearby, he added, “My wife and son are sleeping, so let’s use our library voices. Unless, of course, you yell in the library.”

David rolled his eyes, but he had to admit that that was the slightest bit funny. “I don’t, so don’t worry,” he said quietly.

“Alright, good. What can I help ya with?”

“Did my mom… tell you to make me hate football? Like, why are you doing this?”

Ted’s expression twitched beneath his mustache. “No. She didn’t. She seemed mighty excited ‘bout getting you a coach.”

“Well, she was lying. I overheard my parents talking. She was trying to let me down easy. She thought you’d annoy me right out of caring for the sport.”

Ted sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Damn. She’s tricky, huh?”

David nodded. “I guess. But I think my dad wanted her to do it. He’s an asshole.”

“So you’ve said.”

Ted stood up, pacing around a bit. David watched nervously. “I didn’t mean to accuse you of colluding with her.”

“No, no, I understand.”

“Can you keep coaching me?”

Ted nodded. “Of course I can. It’ll piss the hell outta your parents, won’t it?”

David grinned despite himself. “It will.”

“Then, we’re in this together.”

Chapter Text

Ted hooked David up with a bottle of water and some biscuits from last weekend’s get-together at the Higgins. (He always made extras, and said extras were wasting away in a tupperware.) The boy seemed grateful for the snack and drink, and ate several of the biscuits with voracious hunger so customary of teenhood.

“Not many blokes are chefs and coaches, you know. Respect,” said David, licking a crumb off his finger discreetly.

“Why, thank you. Not many kids your age could handle the stuff you do, with your family and their fame and all, as well as you do. Respect right back atcha.”

David sighed, shoulders drooping. “I don’t handle it that well, not really. I lost my patience with my sister tonight. And I snapped at my mother. And I have no idea when the last time I actually talked to my father was. I just kind of exist in their house like a mouse they can’t catch.”

Ted gave the teen a brief, supportive shoulder-pat. “You’re a good kid, David. I hope things get better. You deserve better.”

~

Ted offered David the spare bed, but he refused. He wanted to be home in the morning, to reconcile with Daisy and to give his father a cold shoulder at breakfast. Ted eventually decided the boy was just as stubborn as a broken zipper on a child’s jacket, and let him go. He made him promise to text him when he was home safely, and gave him the number to do so.

When David disappeared from sight at the end of the street, Ted sleepily headed back upstairs. Michelle was still asleep, her back turned to him. She shifted when he got into bed.

“I told you all that coffee’s no good for you,” she said sleepily. “You sleep like a bullfrog.”

“Call me Jeremiah,” muttered Ted.

“I’m serious,” Michelle replied, turning in to face him. “I’m tired of sleeping alone while you watch King of Queens re-runs on your phone. I have work in the morning. I want a good night to start me off right.”

“I’m just adjusting, that’s all.”

“You’ve been adjusting for six weeks,” Michelle pressed. Her light eyes searched his dark. “Are you okay, Ted?”

“I am. I promise.”

Michelle turned around again. Ted stared up at the ceiling, wondering for some reason, if David’s parents slept in the same bed. Did they face opposite walls? Did they put it all aside and sleep intertwined?

“If you’re not happy here, you can tell me,” Michelle said after a minute. “We came here for my job, but I don’t have to keep it.”

“We came here because we all thought it would be a nice change,” amended Ted. “And it is. It’s good here. I like it here. I like the people.”

A moment of silence passed. “There are some strange birds out there, though. My new client, David–” he stopped himself when he heard Michelle’s even, sleep-induced breathing.

“Well, for what it’s worth, his parents are not very well matched,” Ted finished in a whisper.

His phone vibrated next to him.

David: Home safe. Thanks Coach.

~

For the next several days, Rebecca and David moved in different orbits. They would acknowledge one another’s presence, and he allowed her to hug him before leaving for school. She didn’t ask questions when he tumbled into his bedroom window in the middle of the night on Thursday night, or on Friday night, and ignored the smell of Ben’s cigarette-smoked basement on his clothes on Saturday morning.

She wanted to ask him questions, wanted to know about his life. She hated drifting from him. But he needed boundaries, and deserved them. Especially after she’d broken his trust. She hoped time would heal the wound, and went about her work and misery as always.

When the next Thursday came, she accompanied David to Nelson Road. The Greyhounds were on the road, Rupert with them, so the stadium was deserted, devoid of both negative or positive energy.

“Are you doing this to patronize me?” David asked timidly as they approached the pitch. “Letting me play, I mean.”

“No, you… you know why I did this, initially. But I do admit, you looked quite happy last week. I hope to see you just happy this week.”

David nodded, fairly pleased. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And… even if you can’t forgive me, I want you to know I am sorry.”

“Thanks.”

David sniffed and produced his wrongly-shaped football. “Wanna see me kick it? That’s my position now: kicker.”

“Sure. You’ve always had a strong leg.”

Beaming, David instructed Rebecca to hold the football for him. (“I won’t kick you , I promise”) He was mid-kick when Ted’s Kansas accent echoed around the empty stadium.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t let her sabotage you, Charlie Brown,” he said firmly, jogging up to them from a distance. “She’s gon’ pull that thing right out from under you.”

“No, I’m not!” Rebecca exclaimed in alarm and indignation, accidentally doing exactly what Ted had predicted. David stumbled, but recovered quickly.

“It’s okay, Coach Lasso, we’ve kind of made up, which is as good as we do in our family,” David explained, sensing the mustachioed man’s distrust for Rebecca following his revelation about her to him last week.

“You told him?” Rebecca asked David in a small voice.

“Yeah, I had to know what he knew,” David replied, unable to keep a jolt of ice from his voice. Sensing that Ted had more to say to Rebecca than he let on, David continued, “Um, I can go… fill your water bottle, Coach.” And he swiped the near-full bottle from Ted’s hand and darted inside the stadium.

Rebecca and Ted watched him go, dreading the necessary conversation to come.

“Well, I’m glad y’all were gettin’ along, I guess I kinda ruined what was gonna be a sweet moment. Sorry about that. I just gotta say, Mrs. Mannion, that I do not appreciate being duped into destroying the one good thing in your son’s life.”

Rebecca brushed off the chill that flew down her spine at being called ‘Mrs. Mannion.’ When did that start to bother her? “Would you have agreed to it if you knew?”

“Hell no!”

Ted fished out his wallet and pulled the check Rebecca had written him two weeks prior, unendorsed and uncashed. “I knew there was a reason I didn’t deposit this. Keep it. I’m a volunteer, now.”

“Ted, I can’t ask you to–”

“So don’t.” Ted gave her a polite, short smile. “I’m doing this for David now, not for you. And for a talented boy like him, my services are pro-bono. I’m also pro-Bono, if that makes a difference. The guy can really sing.”

Rebecca took the check, turning it over in her hands. “They don’t make many guys like you, do they?”

Ted tilted his head. “Whaddaya mean?”

Rebecca placed the check in her small purse. “Good guys.”

In her mind, she added, good husbands. Good fathers. Men worth falling in love with.

“You know, I think you’re a good person, too. You deserve better than what you’ve got.”

In his mind, he added, you deserve someone better than who you’ve got.

Chapter Text

but you came over me

like some holy rite

florence and the machine, only if for a night

In the following weeks, Ted looked forward to what was quickly becoming routine: before his session with David began, he exchanged small talk with Rebecca. Ted knew that she didn’t need to accompany David to training, and he didn’t think she worked at the stadium as her husband did, so he assumed she was coming to talk to him.

So he made time for it.

He got there half an hour early today, setting up materials for training, which included duct-taping big branches he’d found by his house into the shape of goal posts. If he’d thought of it, he’d have spray painted them yellow.

But he didn’t think of that, not until Rebecca said it. He saw her shadow first amongst his work, then heard her sharp, rich voice over his shoulder.

“Are you going to paint them yellow?”

He turned. “Damn. Didn’t think of that.”

Rebecca crouched down next to him, despite being in substantial heels. She kept her balance immaculately. “Well, either way, I’m… really grateful that you’re doing this for David. He’s a changed boy, now, I think. He’s got more energy, he smiles more… it’s nice to see him smile.”

Rebecca had smiled as she explained this, so Ted interjected, “It’s nice to see you smilin’ too, Mrs. Mannion.”

Rebecca wrinkled her nose. “You don’t have to call me that. Honestly, please, don’t. It’s so… formal. Call me Rebecca.”

Ted nodded hesitantly. “Dunno if I feel right calling you by your first name, what with you being my, what, my boss, in a way?”

Rebecca rolled her eyes. “I don’t mind. You’re a volunteer, after all— which I still feel guilty about!”

“Well, how ‘bout I call you Boss, and you, I dunno, find some way to help yourself feel less guilty.”

Rebecca grinned. “I’ve got it. We’re having a party tomorrow night. A 1920s theme, gangsters, bootleggers, flappers, whatever. All that American shit that looks so fun in movies. Please come. It would be nice to have a real American there.”

“Y’all had the Peaky Blinders, though, right?”

“Yes, but you lot had the illegal booze. So we’re modeling it after your parties, which were probably fantastic.”

Ted nodded. “Jay Gatsby made ‘em look good, anyway. I’ll be there.”

As David traipsed across the field in a pair of cleats Ted had found on Ebay, Rebecca took her cue to wrap things up, “Good. I’ll see you then. Eight o’clock, alright?”

“See you at eight, boss.”

Rebecca gave a short laugh. “I guess it’ll grow on me.”

~

Ted borrowed a flat cap from Beard, the only other American he knew. He was his acquaintance at the nearby pub, and lost chess games to him like clockwork. Pairing his chess opponent’s hat with the suit Michelle found to be his ugliest — a green pinstriped number from Goodwill — and a pair of shiny loafers, he decided he was ready.

Conversely, Michelle had just gotten in the door from work, and was pouring the last of this morning’s coffee into her travel mug. When Ted found her downstairs, he cheerfully asked, “How do I look?”

She blinked once, twice. Laughing, she said, “You look… interesting.”

“Thanks. What’re you planning to wear?”

“My pajamas. I’ve just spent all day dealing with wealthy Brits, I don’t have the energy to do it tonight, too.”

“Oh. Well, that’s alright. Suppose I’ll head out now then…”

Michelle closed the lid of her mug with an annoyed emphasis. “You’re still going?”

“Well, my boss is usin’ it as a form of payment, I think. She feels bad I gave the check back.”

“And so do I! We could have used that money, Ted.”

“I know, but we didn’t need it.”

“What is it about London that has made you so… so hard to live with?” Michelle asks, quietly. “I thought you would like it here.”

“I do! There’s just not much for me to— I’m only really good at this one thing and I—“

“Try something new, then. You’re an adult . Get a real job! Is that hard, Ted?”

Ted shook his head. “No. It’s not. But I’m going to this party, and I’ll see about finding something else over the weekend.”

He left, hoping Henry hadn’t heard their spat, hoping Henry wouldn’t become the sullen, home-hating David. Ted needed to fix things with Michelle, quickly, before they got out of hand.

But right now, all he wanted to do was lose himself in the booze and pure shininess of the roaring twenties.

~

The first thing Ted thought upon catching Rebecca’s eye in the crowd of half-drunk bureaucrats was this: That dress leaves very little to the imagination. 

The second thing he thought was: stop imagining .

As he approached her from the threshold, diving into the throng of mingling partygoers, he realized she was a bit drunk. The put-together, laser-focused glint in her eyes was replaced with the dull ache of intoxication, a hazy wandering evident in her expression and her gestures as she wrapped up a conversation.

“Ted!” she called, upon seeing him. She pushed past people to meet him, pulling him by the wrist out of the crowd and into a spacious hallway decorated with modern art that didn’t impress Ted much.

What did impress him? The intricately beaded, jeweled, bodice of Rebecca’s dress, a splash of silvers and golds that brought out those tones in her hair, dotted with minuscule pink gemstones that brought out the alcohol-induced tinge of blush on her cheeks. The dress, form-fitting and with a deep, plunging neckline that threatened to pull Ted down with it, dropped off into a short skirt of silvery fringe.

“Thanks for inviting me. It’s a nice party. Big crowd,” Ted said evenly, pulling his eyes away from the dress and its wearer with difficulty. “What’s the occasion?”

Rebecca downed the remaining whiskey in her glass, the backbeat of some song about getting absolutely shitfaced a fitting soundtrack. Finally, setting the glass down on the corner of a glass display case, she replied, “Rupert’s fucking birthday.”

“Ah. Where is the man of the hour?” Ted didn’t really care to see Rupert, having gone so long without seeing him in the awful flesh, but he was worried about his own proximity to Rebecca, about the lowered inhibitions around them as he got drunk just off her eyes on his.

“In the pool house,” Rebecca replied simply. “I locked him there. Was looking for him, found him there with his tongue down an intern’s throat. So. If he wants to be in the pool house with his pants around his ankles, he can be.” She gave a small smile, but it grew ever wider. “I’m having a wonderful evening, Ted. Can I get you a drink?”

Ted took a moment, parsing her complex response. Finally, he said, “Yeah, I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

Chapter Text

“If it makes you feel better, Boss, there’s a bit of trouble at Casa Lasso too,” Ted admitted, taking a sip of his third whiskey as he sat with Rebecca at the kitchen island. Most people at the party had moved from the kitchen, content to converse and imbibe elsewhere. Ted and Rebecca, now, were left alone.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Rebecca admitted. She’d switched to ice water, and took a sip carefully. “Michelle and you… you seem like a good couple.”

“We are. “‘S just… this move, you know? You know the whole thing where you either buy a house or have a baby to save a marriage? Well, we went for ‘renting across the street from the Higgins.’”

“They’ve debunked that, anyway, I think,” Rebecca replies. “I mean, we’ve fucking tried that. You think he wanted two kids? God, he barely wanted one .”

Ted frowned. “Damn. Why doesn’t he realize how good you are? I mean, we only sorta know each other, but…” he took another sip of his drink, not fully knowing where his sentence was going. “If I were him, I’d worship the ground you walk on.”

Rebecca smiled. “Michelle’s lucky, I bet.”

“She thinks I’m too positive, too naive. She’s a fancy lawyer, so she’s pretty serious.”

“But she’s still lucky to have you.”

“Thank you.”

A hush fell over the house elsewhere, and Rebecca and Ted followed suit. Rebecca’s eyes widened, so Ted turned in the direction of her gaze.

An old man with his short graying hair and a much-younger woman on his arm, stood in the center of the main parlor. His expression read red and poisonously angry.

“Someone let him out,” Rebecca said, drunk disappointment coating her voice.

“What’re you going to do?”

“Me? I’m going to fucking run,” Rebecca said, laughing. “Come on.”

She led him out a side door, out into a rose-garden lit by small lanterns. “Am I going to regret this all tomorrow?” she asked him, earnestly.

“I don’t know. I mean, I get the sense y’all’s relationship wasn’t… excellent… before tonight.”

She shook her head, dangling diamond earrings moving, catching the light and colors of her dress. “No. I want to leave him. I mean, I’ve threatened it for years. But I’m really going to this time, for real.”

“Good.”

She led him out to the street, walking slightly unsteadily in her high shoes. As they continued their walk along cobblestone paths, she leaned against him, eventually weaving her arm in his.

“I wish…” she trailed off. “I wish we could pretend that we were happy together.”

“But you’ve tried that for years, haven’t you?”

Rebecca tightened her grip on Ted’s arm. “No. You and me.”

Ted’s heart plummeted, as almost as low as the neckline that had occupied him all night.

“Sorry,” she said quickly. “We’re both– you’re–”

“It would be nice to be happy,” Ted replied, as if to say, no need to be sorry .

She stopped near a streetlight, which illuminated the vibrancy in her eyes, the boldness in her dress, the entrancing aura round her. “What would it be like?”

Ted shrugged. “I’d probably…” he took a step forward, cupping her sharp jawline in his hand. “I’d kiss you, a little bit. Here.”

He ghosted his lips over her cheek. Before he could decide if he should go through with it, Rebecca’s hand on the small of his back pushed him closer to her, and his lips crashed against her skin. She turned, ducking into a kiss, sliding her tongue past his lips.

“We’re drunk,” Ted said, pulling away after a moment. “We’re drunk and you’re hot and–”

“And you’re hot–”

“And what if we wake up tomorrow and realize we’ve ruined everything?”

“What, together ?” pressed Rebecca, looping her thumbs in his belt, forcing his hips against hers. Her smile was just as intoxicating as the whiskey on her tongue.

“I mean– maybe?” Ted stammered. “I dunno, just, if we’re gonna fuck everything up, don’t you wanna remember it?”

Rebecca pouted. “No! Besides, I can tell you want to…” she laughed. “You’re hard.”

Ted blushed. With their hips pressed together like this, it wasn’t much of a surprise that she could tell.

“How about a rain check on the… sex?”

“I’ll hold you to it,” she teased. Then her expression brightened. “So that means we can kiss again?”

“Sure thing, Boss,” he replied.

As he placed a gentle kiss on her exposed collarbone, she said, “God, just call me Rebecca.”

~

When Ted got home, Michelle was asleep. So was Henry. He was alone with his thoughts, his memories of the night. He could smell Rebecca’s sharp, intoxicating perfume on his clothes, on his mustache. He could taste her lipstick on his tongue.

He felt bad. He felt good. He felt terrible. He felt like his was going to come just thinking about how close they'd gotten to fucking. Flashes of her body pressed against the bus stop wall they’d found, her chest heaving as he ground himself against her, permeated his mind as it swam in a sea of whiskey and her saliva.

He didn’t like having such a big secret. He didn’t like how good it made him feel.

Even though he was drunk, deeply exhausted and exhilarated, and despite the rush of booze and bedazzlement that had been the party, something had been made clear to him tonight: whatever his marriage had become was falling quickly apart, and he was falling for Rebecca just as quickly.

As he peered at Henry, fast asleep in his comic-book-themed room, Ted contemplated what was to come next. He was seeing firsthand what kids went through when their parents stayed together for the sake of staying together -- David wanted to leave the country.

He was going to make sure Henry didn’t want to leave him. Even if it meant he himself had to leave Michelle.

~

The Higgins home was just across from Ted’s house anyway.

After kissing him on the corner, they walked opposite sides of the street to reach their destinations.

Leslie seemed surprised to see her at his door, especially so drunk. “Rebecca,” he said quietly. “Julie and I left after you did. The party turned rather awkward. You’re here for Daisy, I suppose? David’s been here, too, gaming with Kris.”

“I’m here to sleep, if that’s okay. I’m not going back there to sleep in the same bed with him when we’ve both been cheating.”

“ Both ?”

“Yep, I almost just fucked your neighbor,” Rebecca said, shocked at her own nonchalance. “I’m leaving Rupert, obviously. I can’t take it anymore.”

Leslie let her in. The kids, evidently, were upstairs, as the main floor seemed deserted.

“You know, you have said that before, Rebecca.”

“Yes, I know, but I mean it this time.”

“You’ve said that before, too.”

“But this time, I know what else is out there. Who else.”

“He’s not technically–”

“He is, he is for me,” Rebecca insisted. She dropped onto the couch. “I’m not sure I want the kids to see me like this.”

“I think they’re asleep. It’s going on eleven, anyway.”

“Kids don’t go to sleep that early.”

“Ours do,” tried Leslie. Rebecca gave him a dark glance, and he backed off mousily.

“Try to get some sleep, Rebecca.”

Chapter Text

She replayed it all in her mind as she slept, reliving her night with Ted. She could almost feel the phantom presence of his cock against her at the hottest moments. They’d practically done everything but , working out of an abandoned bus stop by the docks. It was probably the least sexy location she’d ever fooled around in, but it was the best time she’d had in a while. Maybe ever. Rupert was so boring with sex, when he ever felt up to it. With her , anyway.

She awoke to a series of texts from Ted that he had sent at three in the morning. She forgot for a moment where he’d gotten her number, but now she remembered; she’d used a paint marker left over from a kindly graffiti artist to scrawl it on his inner thigh.

Ted: Hey, I had a great time with you. 

Ted: Can I just throw something out there? We should wait to do anything more til we’re both single, OK?

Ted: I’m gonna tell Michelle I think it would be best if we divorced. I’ve been sensing some tension between us for a while now, and I think tonight proved to me that my heart isn’t in it anymore.

Ted: I hope she isn’t mad.

Ted: It’s just that I feel a little guilty. I want this thing between us to be something that makes us both feel good, not guilty.

Ted: Does that make sense?

Rebecca replied that yes, it made sense, and that she would soon be leaving Rupert, and she could wait until they were both single to progress their relationship. After answering her texts from Ted, she saw some from David.

David: We headed home. Kris drove us.

David: Dad’s home. And he made breakfast? Spooky.

David: Breakfast sucks actually. Also, you should come home.

Anxious about the mere thought of Rupert cooking - perhaps wearing an apron? - and being around her children, especially now when he was so cross with her for having locked him in the pool house, she left the Higgins home as soon as she could. That meant getting a ride from Kris. His car smelled of weed (but she declined to comment on it.) She did comment on his London Pride beads hanging from the rear-view mirror; she said she liked them. Kris seemed relieved, relaxed, at her compliment.

“Uh, not be weird, Mrs. M, but… are you okay?” Kris said after a moment. “You seem like, really sad and also… hungover.”

“I am both,” she said quietly.

“Cool,” Kris replied awkwardly. “Anyway, uh, Daisy was really good last night. David and I just chilled upstairs, and she was drawing in the office. Our neighbor came over, this kid Henry. They seemed to get along well.”

Rebecca rubbed her nose. “Henry Lasso?”

“Yeah. I forgot you met before.”

Rebecca thought it was good that Daisy and David had met Henry. She mediated on the thought that when Rupert was out of their lives, Ted and Henry could move into the cobwebbed space he’d leave behind, and they would all be grateful for the change.

But she was getting ahead of herself. First, she needed to break things off with Rupert.

“Well,” Kris said lightly, as they pulled up to the elegant Mannion home, “Have a good day, Mrs. M.”

“Thank you, Kris. Call me Rebecca,” she told him, exiting with a slight difficulty. Her shoes were quite high, and the sun was too bright. She felt incredibly sick.

But she felt even sicker upon entering the house.

David and Daisy were seated at the kitchen island, picking dejectedly at French toast that looked more like cat-food pate than bread, somehow, and Rupert stood over them, talking in a hushed tone. Daisy, Rebecca realized, looked upset.

“What are you saying to her?” called Rebecca, running into the kitchen, after kicking off her nightmare-shoes. “Rupert!”

He turned to her, malice in his snakelike expression. “I’m telling them what has happened, Rebecca. Where you have been. What you’ve been doing.”

“Are you going to tell them what you’ve been doing?”

“You locked Daddy in the pool house,” said Daisy, sadly. “On his birthday!”

“Yeah, like… even for Dad , that’s a bit much,” David said. A glare from Rupert didn’t faze him. “Also, what the fuck are you wearing?”

She was still in her dress, a dress Ted had tugged off in the dead of night. A dress that left very little to the imagination.

“Language, please,” Rebecca said softly, hiding her embarrassment. With forced resolve, she met Rupert’s hard stare. “I want to talk to you. Upstairs. Now.”

“All right, then,” he said coolly, following her out of the kitchen. Discreetly, as they went up the grand staircase, she wiped a tear from her cheek.

Once they were in their room, the door closed firmly, privacy somewhat ensured, she took a deep breath and said what she had wanted to for years.

“I am divorcing you, Rupert.”

Like a petulant, petty child, he sneered, “Not if I divorce you first.”

The haze of her hangover faded, replaced with a sharp sense of panic. “What do you mean?”

“I filed this morning. Perhaps you would have beat me to it, had you not been sleeping off your hangover at Leslie’s. Embarrassing, honestly, Rebecca! What are the children going to think? You’re out all night, missing my party, making me miss my party… you’re dressed like a slut, teasing that stupid American into fucking you—“

“Do not pretend to care about David and Daisy. I know you don’t. You only do when it’s convenient for you. Like today! You want come out on top because god forbid they find out you’ve been cheating on me and learn the fucking truth!”

Rupert scoffed. Rebecca felt suddenly vulnerable in her dress. She’d loved it putting it on, she’d loved taking it off between kisses, Ted fumbling with the zipper. Now, she felt exactly as horrible as Rupert wanted her to. She felt cold, stupid, and immature. She pulled a cardigan over her dress, then some pajama pants she’d left out the day before.

“Did you really think no one would see you last night? I have people everywhere , Rebecca. Disgraceful.”

“We’re not going to discuss this, Rupert. It’s over . Neither of us are happy, so let’s leave it as is and start heading our separate ways.”

“Fine. Pack your things.”

“It’s not that easy, the kids need to—“

Rupert shook his head slowly, menacingly. “No. They are staying here, with me, with any luck. They’re not going to want to go with you, not when you’re drunk and obsessive and vengeful. Not when you’ve locked me away last night so you could cheat on me with our son’s coach.”

A groan from the other side of the door. “Fuck, he keeps doing that,” Rupert muttered.

“That’s not how it happened, and we both know that,” Rebecca insisted, ignoring his aside. “You know what you were doing in the pool house.”

“Even if they don’t want to stay with me, I’ll petition the court until they approve it. The kids mean more to you than anything, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Then I’ll see to it that you don’t have them anymore.”

Chapter Text

They waited until Henry was safely outside, playing with the youngest Higgins boy.

Ted wasn’t quite sure why Michelle seemed nervous. Both had woken on opposite sides of the bed, as far as from the other they could get. Now they stared one another down across the dining table.

“I have something I…. something I gotta tell you. Oklahoma, all that,” Ted said quietly.

“I do, too,” Michelle said timidly.

“How should we work this?” Ted was now apprehensive; what was she going to say?

“How about… we say it at the same time?

Michelle counted down from five with her fingers, and when her pinky curled with the rest of her fingers, she said, “I think we should take a break, Ted.”

Simultaneously, he said, “I think it’d be best if we got a divorce.”

They stared at each other, holding back a sense of relief mixed with heartbreak.

“A divorce?” Michelle asked. “Right away?”

“Yeah, I just– well– we’re not havin’ an easy time of it, and I just feel like… taking a break just delays things, you know? I think we both know how it’s gonna end.”

Michelle shifted. “You know how you think it’s going to end. I think we just need some space. You need to grow up a little.”

Ted shook his head. “I don’t want to do that. Michelle, I really think it would be best for Henry if we have a clean break of it. My client, David, his parents… it’s messy. His mother locked his dad in a pool house, Michelle! I don’t want that to be us. I don’t want Henry wanting to move to another country just to escape us and our bickerin’.”

Michelle narrowed her eyes. “You’ve become really occupied with that family, haven’t you?”

“They’re quite the drama source,” Ted defended weakly.

He hoped a blush didn’t betray him.

~

The conversation went as well as it could, really.

Henry wasn’t as upset as Ted and Michelle anticipated he’d be upon learning his parents were divorcing; he was used to change. Ted was proud of him, but he still felt bad for him. But Henry was content to know he could visit his parents whenever he pleased and that they’d stay friendly.

Across town, David was unsurprised. He was always listening at the door, as it was. He seemed relieved, which made Rebecca’s heart ache a little. She was a little embarrassed that more than learning of his parents’ impending divorce, David was disturbed by her apparent fucking of Ted Lasso.

“He’s… so…” David said between laughs. “You guys are like, complete opposites. Also, he’s got a mustache. Guys with mustaches are… just… yikes. But, you know…” he trailed off. “Whoever makes you happy, I guess.” He held back further scrutiny for Rebecca’s benefit, though she could tell in his smirk that he had some more prepared if prompted.

Daisy took the news with more difficulty than David had. Rebecca had this conversation alone with her alone, as she had with David, since Rupert was chatting with a lawyer about his evil custody plans. Rebecca was grateful for the time alone with Daisy; she hated that Rupert was driving an artificial rift between mother and daughter, and she hated that he was somewhat right about the pool house incident. She had not done much to paint herself flatteringly last night, even if it had been quite enjoyable at the time.

“I know this is difficult to hear, Daisy. I just want you to know that even though Daddy and I aren’t going to be together anymore, our love for you is unchanging.” Rebecca brushed one of Daisy’s curls away from her tearstained face. “ My love for you is unchanging,” she added quietly, knowing full well that Rupert’s love was a currency to earn, and the interest rates of cynicism and exploitation set upon it rendered it useless.

“Where are we going to live?” Daisy asked, quietly. “When Emma’s parents got divorced, she moved to Manchester with her mum, and her dad went to Belgium. Am I going to have to move to Manchester?” Rebecca was reminded of Daisy’s sheer youth now, how her entire lived experience was a composite of her friends’ and family’s experience still. Rebecca was glad that by the time she’d have more autonomy over her life, she’d be free of Rupert. Hopefully.

“No, don’t worry about that. You’ll stay right here in London. I promise.” Rebecca was relieved when Daisy inched closer to her, closing the gap on the girl’s mattress between them.

“Was Daddy being naughty yesterday?” Daisy asked, glancing up at Rebecca.

“I suppose so, yes,” Rebecca told her. “But I… I don’t want you to worry about yesterday, okay? That won’t happen anymore. I’m sorry that I let you down.”

Daisy nodded. “It’s alright. Sometimes I think he needs a time-out, too.”

~

Rebecca took a deep, settling breath as she walked up to the Lassos’ front door. She felt weird coming here, weirder still considering her newfound romance with Ted. But she didn’t know where else to turn.

She may have wanted to discuss things with Sassy if they weren’t so estranged (she’d need to work on that), and as solid a companion as Higgins had become, this was something she felt he just wouldn’t get. His loyalty to Rupert at Nelson Road, Rebecca felt, would long supersede his loyalty to her as her friend, and she didn’t want to mix him up in family affairs more than she already had.

So, she turned to Ted.

When she knocked, he answered. When he saw the tears gathering in her eyes, he held her. Briefly. A short embrace, a comforting one, but she could feel the sparking attraction beneath the surface. 

“What’s up?” he asked, gently, “Are you okay?”

He led her into the house, guiding her to the couch. It was as modest as Higgins had made it seem. “What did Rupert do?” he asked next, almost knowingly.

“He…” Rebecca took a deep breath. “He’s filed for divorce already, and he’s threatening to take full custody of the children, and I just— I feel so powerless, and I’m scared. Ted, I’m so scared.”

As she let her tears fall, Ted put an arm around her, then another. She leaned her head on his chest, grateful for his support, his warmth. 

“‘S’all going to be okay. I promise. He’s not gonna take them from you. I’m gon’ do whatever I can. Heck, if I have to become a lawyer, I will. I’ll borrow David’s LSAT prep book.”

Rebecca gave a slight chuckle. “Thank you, Ted. You make me feel less alone. Like I’ve goto someone rooting for me. Sometimes I just feel so alone…”

He tightened his grip on her shoulders. “It’s okay, Rebecca, you’re not alone anymore.”

~

“I saw you, earlier. I heard another voice, came halfway down the stairs… saw you with Rebecca, was it?” Michelle’s tone was even, quiet. But accusing, too, and icy. She avoided meeting his eyes, instead focusing on her takeaway soup.

Ted sipped his water slowly. “Yeah, Rebecca, my client’s mother.”

“You’re friends, I guess?”

“She’s getting divorced, I’m just being supportive.”

“And she’s supporting you?”

“If you have something you really want to ask, just ask it,” Ted said shortly. Maybe he was being paranoid, or maybe there was something deeper in Michelle’s line of questioning. Either way, he was squirming.

“Seems a bit convenient you both are getting divorced,” she said lightly.

“If we really were those kinds of people, y’know, cheaters, we would just cheat. Like her husband did.”

“So you’re saying you never think about it?”

“Henry’s gonna be back from the bathroom any minute and I–”

“I’m not mad, Ted. I’m just curious. I just want to know.”

Ted broke a saltine into pieces over his soup. “Well, then, yeah. We’ve been connecting a little. But only so far, you know? It’s just… neither of us have been too happy in our marriages and… it’s just a case of the right place, right person, and… slightly wrong time, I guess.”

“That’s how I feel about us. It’s just not the right time anymore.”

“But we had a good time, didn’t we?”

Michelle gave a sad smile. “We did.”

Chapter Text

When David awoke on Monday, there was an ache in his gut that was more than the usual Monday-morning anxiety.

Because he knows that downstairs, his mother will not be urging him to eat breakfast faster, or he’ll be late, and his father will be disappointed if David gets a detention for lateness. David used to hate this part of his morning routine, the anxiety-by-proxy he got from his mother. But now, he wishes that was what he was waking to.

She moved out last night, late last night. He wasn’t supposed to know. But he listened at his bedroom door to the sound of footsteps and angry whispers in the hall. She’s got herself a hotel room because his father wants her out. She asked if the kids could please come with her; he said no.

“This isn’t going to work, you know,” his mother had whispered. “They will never choose you.”

“They don’t have a choice,” his father had retorted. “They are minors, and I am their father, and they are staying here, with me. They need stability, Rebecca. Look at yourself.”

David scoffed himself. He knew it was bullshit; Rupert most certainly did not care if he and Daisy had “stability.” The only stable thing Rupert provided them with besides too much money was a deep chasm of dislike and coldness between himself and his children.

“This isn’t over,” his mother had insisted. “What are you going to tell them in the morning?”

David could almost picture his father’s sneer. “That you’ve left them, darling.”

Now he lay awake, staring at the posters on his wall – all of his favorite American footballers. More than ever, he yearned for that. A land away from everything, where he was just some unrecognizable face in a crowd, indistinguishable from an American teen until he spoke. He wouldn’t be Richmond royalty in the US; he doubted anyone there even knew about his father or the team.

A sharp knock sounded on his bedroom door. His father’s voice followed, calm, yet impatient. “David? It is Monday. If you are late to school, I will not be pleased.”

David groaned, rolling out of bed. Playing dumb as he hurriedly dressed (since he was bordering on being late), he asked through the door, “Why are you home? Usually Mum’s the one bothering me to get up.”

A moment’s pause. “David, your mother has left me. I imagine she’s in the midst of some escapade right now with that mustachioed American. That reminds me, David, your training with Mr. Lasso is officially over. I’ve left him a voicemail explaining the situation. You are to devote your athleticism solely to the correct type of football.”

David yanked the door open to see Rupert smirking in the hall, dressed for a day of douchebaggery. “What? You’re just – making me quit?”

“That was the intention all along, son. Mr. Lasso is simply too inept to carry out the plan. So, I will. It’s over. You’re through.”

David picked up his backpack, annoyed at how upset he was over this. “I don’t understand why you won’t let me have anything .”

“What, would you rather live with your mother in a hotel room? Watch her deign to the level of pay-per-view and a coin-operated laundry? David, please, don’t be ridiculous.”

David pushed past Rupert. “I’m going to be late for school.”

“Take Daisy with you.”

“But her school’s on the other side of town!”

“Well, I ’ m not driving her!”

“You’re useless.”

“It would be in your best interest to retract that,” said Rupert, warningly, as he gained on David on the stairs.

“No! You’re ruining this family. You have been for years. You didn’t even know that Mum took Daisy to school. That’s basic shit. You’re useless.”

David took Daisy’s hand when he got the foyer. She’d been standing still, suppressing tears there, for what seemed like a while. “Come on, I’ll take you. If I’m late, I’m late.”

Outside, Daisy tightened her grip on David’s hand. “Did Mummy really leave us?”

“No. Dad’s just being an asshole. We’ll see her soon, okay?”

Daisy laughed through her sniffles. “Okay. And… that’s a bad word.”

“But I’m not wrong, am I?”

Daisy shrugged noncommittally. “No.”

Checking the time on his phone, David asked, “What time do you have to be at school?”

“Eight o’clock.”

“We’ll never make it in time; it’s already quarter til. How about this? Neither one of us goes to school, and we don’t tell Dad.”

“Are we allowed?”

“I say we are.”

“Okay.” Daisy beamed. “What should we do?”

For the first time, David felt free. To do whatever, go wherever… there was nothing he and Daisy couldn’t do, and no one would find out or care. “Whatever we want.”

~

They wandered parks in the morning, buying as many sweets as they stumbled upon, and fed birds and jumped in puddles and anything and everything else they had been continually discouraged from doing. Daisy was ecstatic; she found a patch of flowers bearing her name and picked several, tucking them in the pocket of her bag for safekeeping.

“I’m hungry,” she told David at eleven, just an hour after they finished their remaining candy from this morning’s stop at the confectionery. “We should have lunch.”

“You’re right, we should. We can eat anywhere,” he told her, feeling his charge card in his pocket. “Pick whatever you’d like.”

Daisy surveyed their immediate area, cobblestone streets and quaint buildings in downtown Richmond. “There,” she said, indicating an establishment on the nearest corner.

“Daisy, that’s a pub.”

“I didn’t say I wanted to drink anything,” she said, briefly defensive.

David led her to the sandwich board sign out front, which boasted their menu. “Alright, there does seem to be some food options, and I’m not seeing any ‘no-kids-allowed’ signs, so… Crown and Anchor it is.”

Daisy pushed ahead of him to enter first, and David took off his tie to look less like a kid skipping school and more like a working professional on a lunch break. Whatever semblance of maturity he was hoping to put forward was dashed by Daisy, of course, but he wasn’t going to give up.

“They don’t have a kid’s menu,” David said, upon settling the pair in a corner booth and grabbing menus from the nearby bar. Luckily, most patrons were fixated on a Bake-Off rerun, and weren’t paying any attention to the unaccompanied minors in the corner.

“I already know what I want, anyway,” Daisy said proudly. “Fish and chips, with extra chips.”

“Adventurous, I see,” David replied sarcastically, eyeing up the more foreign-inspired options on the menu for himself. “Why not try falafel?”

“I’m not getting that here ,” Daisy retorted. “I’m sure it’s shit.”

“That’s a–”

“I know,” she smiled, proudly. “I’m allowed to today, right?”

The aura of rebellion and refuge that existed around David’s and Daisy’s table was soon dissipated when the bell above the door jingled, announcing the arrival of one Ted Lasso, with one Rebecca Welton at his side. He was glad to see his mother, yes, and to know she was safe, but… he didn’t exactly want to see her on a date , especially not with Ted Lasso .

Chapter Text

“I’m telling ya, I’m heartbroken. The kid’s got so much promise, you know? And the impersonality of it all… leaving me a voicemail. Downright cowardly of Rupert, no?”

Rebecca nodded, perusing the menu at the Crown and Anchor. She didn’t even know why she was looking. It’s fish and chips with extra chips, time and time again. “Well, he is a huge coward, and a huge prick.”

“I sure hope you can get the kids from him. I swear, everywhere I go, I’m thinkin’ of them. Even right now, that boy in the corner booth… he’s the spitting image of David. That’s how troubled I am,” Ted said, shaking his head in an attempt to clear it. “I mean, damn, he’s got a doppelganger.”

Rebecca turned, following Ted’s gaze. “Ted?”

“What?”

“That is David.” Rebecca leaned out of the booth slightly, inspecting whoever sat opposite her son. “Why are David and Daisy in this pub, unsupervised, instead of being at school? For Christ’s sakes, he can’t go one day without fucking things up, can he?”

Rebecca moved to exit the booth, but Ted’s hand on her wrist stopped her. “Rebecca, give them a little time, okay? Maybe they needed time to process this. You know? It’s a lot. The divorce, you bein’ gone suddenly…”

“So, shouldn’t I talk to them?”

“How’re they gonna take me bein’ with you?”

Rebecca shrugged. “David thinks it’s weird, but he doesn’t seem opposed. Daisy… she may take it a little less well, but she’ll come around. I think she’ll realize quite immediately that you’d make a far better father figure for her than Rupert could ever be.”

A blush swiped onto Ted’s cheeks. Father figure? For Daisy? For David? Rebecca wasn’t just thinking about a rebound, she was thinking about revamping her entire life, and she wanted him right next to her. His heart felt fizzy, suddenly, like that awful sparkling water she’d tried to give him when he picked her up from the hotel. He was so glad they were on the same page, even if it felt so strange considering the future when even their present together hung in the balance.

Rebecca smiled, noticing Ted’s startled realization. “Would you like to meet her, Ted? I’m realizing you’ve never been introduced.”

“As long as she doesn’t think we’re bustin’ her for skipping,” Ted replied, returning Rebecca’s easy smile. He’ll never tire of seeing it.

It’s been only a few days since his lips first met hers, and he’s been dying to do it again, but both have so far kept to their word of keeping their hands, mouths, and other parts to themselves until their divorces are final. Still, as they approached the kids’ table, Rebecca threaded her fingers through Ted’s. It came naturally, somehow, felt as if their hands were made to fit together.

David’s eyes widened as they came closer. “H-hello,” he said weakly.

“Mummy!” greeted Daisy, throwing her hands around Rebecca’s waist as soon as she was close enough. Rebecca slid into the booth with her, careful not to knock the glass of apple juice that sat right on the edge of the table. Ted slid in with David, to the teen’s awkward concession.

“You’re not mad I’m not at school, are you?” Daisy said quietly, her eyes – rimmed with red, Rebecca realized sadly – searching her mother’s.

“No, I’m not mad. If you were at school, I wouldn’t be able to hug you right now, would I?” she replied, giving the girl another squeeze.

“Who are you?” Daisy inquired of Ted after a moment, only now noticing him.

“I’m, uh, Ted,” he said, suddenly nervous.

“He’s my football coach,” supplemented David. And then, in a conspiratorial, joking tone, he added, “and apparently he has a crush on Mum.”

Daisy laughed. Ted blushed. Rebecca sent a silent thank-you to David through a smile. The teen knew how to speak Daisy’s language, and often delivered hard truths that came with Rupert for a father to her as if they were fun little adventures for the two to embark on together. This new chapter, Rebecca figured, would be a whole new adventure for them, but one that for once was good. 

As Ted admitted sheepishly how big a crush he had on Rebecca, to Daisy’s pleased laughter, Rebecca watched the smile beneath his mustache. She loved his smile.

She loved him , she thought. And it was a different kind of love than she’d ever felt for Rupert. It wasn’t a love of convenience, of convention. It was a love of companionship, desire, connection.

~

“St. Sarah’s and Cromwell Academy called me at work,” Rupert began sternly, staring the kids down across the dinner table. His sternness increased upon realizing that the kids didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. They barely touched dinner, as if they’d eaten before coming home. They barely paid him attention.

So he stood up, and began pacing around the table, circling like a vulture preparing to swoop in on prey. “They claim you both were truant today. What do you have to say in defense of yourselves? Anything?”

“Nothing,” Daisy replied, a smug, half-toothless grin overtaking her face. “We went to lunch, and we saw Mummy and Ted who has a crush on her. It was way more fun than school.” She turned to David, who couldn’t believe he forgot to tell her not to share their outing with Rupert. “Can we do it again tomorrow, David?”

“Uhh–”

“You did what? With whom?” Rupert knelt down to Daisy’s eyeline. “How did you contact your mother?”

“She was just there,” Daisy said. “It was a fun time.”

Rupert stood up, dissatisfied, and resumed his pacing. “This is unacceptable. You two aren’t going to learn to move past her, past your own pasts and past that goddamned Ted Lasso if you don’t have some space to work things out.”

Here it comes , thought David. He’s so desperate that he’ll endorse my plans of playing American football.

“I must say, children, you leave me no choice. Giggleswick it is.”

“What?” David said, accidentally giggling.

“Giggleswick boarding school in North Yorkshire.”

“That’s… hours from here,” David said quietly, suddenly not anxious to leave Richmond. His plan was for him to leave, and to go so far that Rupert would never bother visiting. But a few hours away? He’d be there quickly, often, to enforce his ideology of submission. And Daisy would be miserable, David knew.

“It will serve you well.” Rupert said this flatly, turning to the wine rack to extract a bottle. “I’ll call in my long-standing favor with the headmaster, and you’ll be there by the end of the week, with any luck.”

Daisy met David’s eyes. She looked upset, but angry, too. “Asshole,” she whispered, nodding her head toward Rupert.

With Rupert occupied, all pleased with himself and his stupid wine, David took the opportunity to send a text.

David: [to Ted Lasso, Mum] We need your help. He’s sending us to boarding school.

Mum: That fucking fucker

David: Giggleswick

Ted: Wait what is that? That like a british swear word? sure sounds like one

Mum: It’s a school. Rupert has connections there. We have to figure this out quickly or they’ll be enrolled and I won’t have the legal power to withdraw them.

Chapter Text

i’m not wearing my usual lipstick

i thought maybe we could kiss tonight

mitski, washing machine heart

Ted called her shortly after David’s texts came through. She was sitting at the breakfast nook, picking at pad thai from the place across the street, when her phone vibrated  on the stained table.

Watching the vacancies sign blink red outside her window, she answered. “Hi, Ted.”

“Hey. You okay, after that? Kids can’t catch a break, can they?”

Rebecca nodded, despite being alone. “I… I’m worried about them. I’m worried about everything relating to them… it’s… God, I can’t imagine being six, hell, even being sixteen, and going through all this.”

“You want to talk about it? Or d’you wanna be distracted?”

“A distraction would be nice, I think. I’m so alone here, my thoughts are spiraling—“

“Well, then, let’s make you less alone, huh? I’ll be by soon, alright?”

“I would love that Ted, thank you.”

He appeared fifteen minutes later with a tupperware of shortbread biscuits, homemade. She recognized them from the get-together at the Higgins’, and she remembered she liked them. She dug in as the two sat on the edge of her shitty mattress.

“So… what should we do? Play charades? Egg the mansion?”

“Tempting, but I have a feeling that last one would backfire.”

He chuckled, and she smiled. He looked happy, but there were stress-induced creases on his face. “How is it going with Michelle and Henry?”

“Good. I’m, uh, sleeping on the couch ‘til I can find a place. Just doesn’t feel right, you know? But I’ll get somethin’ soon.”

“You could stay here,” she offered, her mouth drying instantly. “Sorry. That’s not much of an invitation, the shower barely works—“

“You really… you’d want me here?”

She nodded. “I think we both know that eventually we’d make good housemates. You know, romantic housemates. Domestic…partners.” The blush on her cheeks punctuated her sentence.

“I’m glad you’re thinking of the future. That’s what gets us through the present.”

Rebecca snuggled a bit closer to him. “How did I ever find you?”

His eyes dropped down to her lips, instinctively. “At that Higgins house. Nice family.”

Sensing the mounting romantic tension, Rebecca placed her hand near his thigh. “Can I throw something out there?”

“Like a little league pitcher.”

“What?”

“Just shoot.”

“We should break the rules,” she said, her voice a whisper. She broke off on rules , her whisper turning into some sort of desirous moan.

“What rule did you want to break? No eating less than thirty minutes before swimming? I saw a pool downstairs—“

Rebecca pressed her fingertips on his cheek. “I can think of something more distracting,” she said quietly. Teasingly, she added, “I think you know what I mean, Ted. That rule about keeping our hands to ourselves…”

“That’s why I pretended to think you wanted to go swimming,” Ted replied with a grin, leaning in for a chaste kiss.

When they separated, Rebecca felt anticipatory energy thrumming in her veins. “I want you, Ted.”

“I want you,” he said lightly, kissing her temple, moving in to close the gap between the two of them. “Are you sure this is good?”

“Let’s break the rules,” she whispered again, grinning.

His lips met hers, soft and coated in sugar from the biscuits. She licked the sweetness away, tasted it on her tongue, and tasted him on her tongue, too. “I’ve missed this.”

“It’s been four days,” Ted said lightly, brushing a lock of her hair from her face. His touch was gentle, deliberate, comforting.

“Four days too many.”

“You’re quite the romantic, aren’t you?”

“I’ve finally got someone to be romantic with,” Rebecca returned, settling her wrists behind his neck, pecking her lips against his.

He placed his hands on the small of her back as he deepened the kiss. They wandered along her back, bumping the bra beneath her cardigan.

“I just thought of something,” he said suddenly, straightening up, disentangling himself from her. “I know how we can get the kids outta that boarding school. Well, maybe not exactly how, but I’ve got a starting point.”

“Ted! I… I appreciate that you’re thinking about them, but do you really have to be thinking about them right now ?”

“Sorry. I can tell you later.”

He leaned in to resume his kiss, his hands exploring her body, but a few seconds in, it was already eating away at her. “Oh, fuck, what’s your plan?”

“A lawyer. We know a lawyer. Dunno how I didn’t think of it before.”

“David’s LSAT prep book does not count for anything! He just bought it to impress Kris when they were at Waterstones.”

“No, no, Michelle . She’s a lawyer.”

“So I’m going to ask your ex-wife to help me get custody of my children? Isn’t that… awkward?”

“She’ll do it. She’s good like that.”

“Is she busy? Can she even take on something like this?”

“Even if all she gives us is the name of a more available lawyer, it’s worth doing. I can talk to her toni– tomorrow. Tomorrow, when I get my shoes and all.”

Rebecca beamed. “Good. Good. Tonight, you’ve got another sort of business to attend to.”

“Whatever you say, Boss.”

“Honestly, I do like that.”

Ted planted a kiss on Rebecca’s neck, working downward to her collarbone, gently pushing her cardigan off her shoulders as she hastily unbuttoned it. “I like being a rebel,” he said softly.

“It’s easy when you set the rules yourself, isn’t it?”

Rebecca slipped her bra off, and Ted continued his trail of kisses onto her breasts. As his lips neared her nipples, he could sense her heart speeding up, thumping close to his nose. 

“You like that?”

“Yes, I do,” she replied, settling back on her elbows. He followed the slant of her body, straddling her hips as he circled a nipple with his tongue. He could tell by the twitch of her frame that she was enjoying herself, however quiet, so he continued, teasing her nipple until it became hard in his mouth. He moved to sucking at it, developing a rhythm that matched her pleased heartbeat.

Her fingers explored his hair, scratching his scalp gently. “What else can you do with your tongue?” she asked him when he came up for air.

“I’ve got something in mind,” he replied. “Here, switch with me.”

He slid into the warm space on the bed she left behind, leaning against the headboard. Even through his slacks, he could see his own erection. Now, though, wasn’t the time to get himself off - he was going to get her off first.

Rebecca, having a sense of where this was going, shirked out of her own slacks and her underwear. He’d never seen her completely naked before. He took in the majestic sight of her, eager with each passing heartbeat to drink her up.

“You’re beautiful,” he told her as she came closer, settling her knees on the pillow on either side of him. “God, you’re– I just–”

“Don’t talk, you need your tongue for something else,” she said, the anticipation shaking her voice. “Fuck me, Ted.” She already had her hands on the headboard to stay steady.

He explored her entrance first, lapping at the wetness he found on its sides before pushing in. She was warm, comforting - and wet. He felt he could drink her up for hours and never thirst. She was a stream in a desert, not a mirage but real , here before him and lovingly so, and he would abstain from drink for millennia if it meant he could taste her like this again.

“Fuck, you’re so good at this,” Rebecca said. Her back arched slightly, and he steadied her, grabbing her ass. “Go deeper,” she said, thrusting her hips toward him.

Her clit penetrated his lips, and he circled it with his tongue. I love you I love I love you , he spelled. If it wasn’t such a daunting task, he would have added and not just because I’m eating you out, I loved you before this too. Since we met, I’ve been caught up in you.

Rebecca moaned with pleasure, and he picked up the pace. Her wetness increased, and Ted kept working, saving himself from drowning in her. Her thighs clenched on either side of him. “Fuck, Ted, I’m so close– god, keep going –”

He swirled his tongue through her, lapping at her sweetness with an intensity, a voracious hunger, a burning desire to make her come. He could tell she was close; her breath had become ragged, interspersed with short, pleased moans.

When she did come, he held her close, his hands tight on her ass to keep her grounded as she screamed and scrunched her eyes. As she came down from her orgasm, chest heaving as she caught her breath, she planted a kiss on his lips, tasting her own wetness from them.

“That was the hottest thing I’ve experienced in a while. Possibly ever. Let’s make that a regular occurrence.” 

“I’ll pencil it in,” Ted replied. Taking Rebecca’s tugging at his shirt as a cue, he began to undress. “What’s next?”

She gave him a wide, gleeful smile. “Your turn.”

Chapter Text

On Tuesday night, David laid awake in bed, staring at his posters.

He was doing a lot of that lately.

Tonight, he was replaying a conversation he’d had with Kris that afternoon at school, while both were technically “working” in the library for extra credit in their literature course.

Kris: Do y ou want to join Model UN with me? I was thinking I could be Poland and you could be Hungary. They’re really close allies, you know? There’s a whole day for it, apparently.

David: I’d love to… it’d be great for my college applications since I want to go for International Finance. But… I don’t know if I can commit. I might have to go to Giggleswick.

Kris: You have to go to fucking what ? Is that like a mental hospital? Are you okay?

David: It’s a boarding school. I’m fine. I guess.

Kris: That sucks. Your dad must really hate you.

David: Nothing new there.

Kris: I wish he knew how cool you are, you know?

Sometimes, David felt a little… inadequate. That is, when it came to relationship-stuff. He'd known for several years now that he liked Kris, and he knew Kris was a proud bisexual with pride beads in his car, but… would he? Like David? Seemed unlikely, to David.

“Surely guys ask other guys to be the Hungary to their Poland as friends,” David muttered, closing his eyes, willing sleep to come.

They snapped open again. “Fuck! I’ve got to know!”

He reached for his phone, but thought better of it. An eleven-thirty text? Risky. He didn’t want to come off too strong.

That left him with one horrible option.

He dragged his feet to his father’s home office, where he was up smoking a horrid cigar, socked feet up on the edge of his desk.

“Dad?” he said in greeting, blinking the light from his face.

“David. I thought you were asleep.”

He quickly extinguished the cigar. “You have to be up early tomorrow. You should rest.”

“I know, I’ve just… got a question. And even though I think you’re a total prick, I can’t deny that you’ve got a talent for… dating people. Poorly, of course, but you manage to get girls and I need your help. Getting a guy, that is.”

Rupert scoffed. “Not a phase, then, I suppose. Your mother was right.”

“If you can’t be an adult about this, I’ll walk out right now,” David snapped. “Do you know how hard this is for me, to actually come to you? I’ll just call Mum–”

Rupert stood up, quickly. “It’s fine, I’m sorry. What do you need to know?”

“Well, how do you know when someone likes you?”

“It depends. There are many ways to tell. Compliments, smiles, hand-holding, eye contact… but even if they don’t like you now , that’s not the end of the story, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you want something, David, go get it.” Rupert gave him a dazzling, almost sickeningly bright, smile, now sitting on the edge of his leather couch. For the first time, David realized, Rupert was half-enjoying parenting. This was the part where he got to teach him something sleazy.

“I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. I don’t want to come off too strong and ruin our friendship.”

“Well, build up to it. You know, when I first met your mother, I was married. And that didn’t stop me! I took my time. I chatted with her, every night for six weeks. She was working in a bar. I was there every night. She didn’t like me much at first, but when I asked her out after six weeks…” he trailed off, smirking. “You’ve got to be patient, David, you’ve got to make them feel special–”

“Wait, isn’t that… kind of stalking? Was she okay with you there all the time?”

“That doesn’t matter, David, I–”

“And you were married still? God, you’ve always been terrible, haven’t you?”

“Your mother knew what she was getting into. If she cared so much about fidelity, she shouldn’t have engaged with me while I was married.”

“Every time I learn something about you, it makes me like you less. You like, wore her down. No wonder it never fucking worked.”

Rupert stood up again, approaching David until he towered over him. “You know, I don’t like your attitude. I’m looking forward to sending you off to Giggleswick.”

“How can you say that name with a straight face?”

“David, please. Be mature. It’s a fine institution.”

He prodded him toward the door. “By the way, that cigar I was smoking? A late-night celebration. You and Daisy have been officially accepted. Train leaves Thursday.”

~

“I forgot how much fun it was to live with someone who loves you.”

Rebecca does not know quite why those words tumbled out, least of all while she was brushing her teeth and Ted was trimming his mustache. There was something about sharing a mirror, sharing a bathroom, sharing a shitty hotel room, that reminded her of being young, being in love, being happy and unjaded. Being herself , not Rupert’s wretched version of her features.

Ted beamed, his lips now a bit close to his automatic shaver, and nicked himself. “Ah, shit. Wait, what I was gonna say–” He piled tissues onto his bleeding lip and continued, “I love you, too. If that’s… what that was.”

“It was, yeah, I think.”

“How long have we known each other?”

“I’d say a few months.”

“And we’ve been together…?”

“Five days.”

Ted chuckled. “This relationship is moving like a deregulated train.”

“That’s not a very sexy comparison.”

“Sorry. First thing I thought of. I fall asleep to CNN sometimes.”

Rebecca planted a kiss on Ted’s cheek. When she pulled away, she heard Ted’s phone ringing in the other room. “You’re getting a call.”

“To perform? Because I read this article this morning about sex posit-”

“No! I mean, yes, but your cell phone is ringing.”

Ted scurried to get it, and Rebecca regarded her own expression in the mirror, how the tinge of blush on her cheeks was a permanent fixture anymore, how her cheekbones seemed almost tired of smiling. When she looked at her reflection, it took her a moment to realize she was seeing herself; she was happy , or getting there, at least. Each day away from Rupert was a blessing; all she needed was to get David and Daisy into her home, too. Not that it was much of a home right now.

Now on the phone, Ted reappeared, smiling, and used his finger to draw on the mirror. (It wasn’t steamy, just dirty. The hotel’s conditions were abysmal.) She can help! He wrote, in reference to the note he’d left for Michelle this morning when picking up his stuff. He then added Henry says hi! before hanging up and filling Rebecca in on the details: Michelle’s coworker exclusively handled custody cases, and had room to take them on. They were free tomorrow for a lunch meeting, and Ted had agreed. Michelle would pass their acceptance along.

“That’s great, Ted, that’s… fantastic. Tomorrow, it begins. The beginning of the end of Rupert’s grip on my life.”

Ted wrapped his hands around her waist. “I’m so happy for you, Rebecca. Really, I am. Even if I weren’t the lucky guy I am to be here with ya, I’d just be happy you’re not with him anymore.”

She draped her arms around his neck. “When did you know we were doomed, Rupert and me?”

“Mmm, the moment you brought him up. I thought, ‘That guy’s trouble. Probably some old cantankerous type.’ Wasn’t wrong.”

“You were not.” She ghosted her lips over his before planting another kiss on him. “I love you. I know I just said it, but it bears repeating.”

“I love you too, and I’ll say it again any time,” Ted replied, smiling.

Breaking their moment of tranquil romance, Rebecca’s phone buzzed in her pocket. 

“David,” she said, upon reading the screen.

“At this hour? Yeesh. Must be important. Going on zero hundred hours.”

“You can just say midnight, we don’t really use the twenty-four hour system all the time,” Rebecca replied before answering, stepping out of the bathroom.

David’s voice was small, scratchy over the phone. “Mum?”

“Hello darling, how are you? Is everything okay?”

“No. I– it’s a lot. Can I come over?”

“Are you in danger?”

“No, I’m just… I can’t sleep, and everything’s going wrong, and–” his voice broke, or maybe cracked, and Rebecca felt her heart do the same. “I just want to come over.”

“Okay, baby, I’ll pick you up. Bring Daisy. If she wakes and finds you gone, she’ll be quite upset.”

“I’ll have her ready. Thank you.”

“I’ll be there shortly. Ted may want to come along, too, so don’t be surprised if he’s in the car.”

“Why are you togeth– ew, never mind. Thanks, Mum.”

Chapter Text

As he sat in the backseat of his mother’s sportscar, David stared out at the passing London streets and fought the tears in his eyes. He didn’t know how to respond to Ted’s question, not when Daisy was sitting close beside him, and he didn’t know how to be delicate when all he wanted to do was cry.

“David? Did you hear? He asked you if you’ve heard about Giggleswick.” Rebecca met his eyes in the mirror, the tight, anxious expression on her face a reflection of his own.

“I, um, yes, I was just speaking with Dad before I called you.” The last half hour had been a flash - holding back tears in the bathroom, waking up Daisy while carrying her to the front driveway. In his distraction, he’d barely had time to process his father’s parting words, though they had catalyzed his ride in this very car.

You and Daisy have been officially accepted. Train leaves Thursday.

It was Tuesday night, dripping into Wednesday morning. He barely had time left in Richmond, and he was just starting to find his place, to feel comfortable with himself. A bit of a future falling into a place - a better one. And here comes a school with the stupidest fucking name to ruin it all.

“Do we have to go?” asked Daisy quietly.

“We’ve been accepted,” David replied noncommittally.

“For the fall?” The worry was evident in Ted’s voice.

“For Friday morning. Our train leaves Thursday.”

David could tell even from the backseat that his mother’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. “We’ll fix this.”

He couldn’t help noticing that she didn’t seem very convinced. As if she was trying to convince herself more than she was David and Daisy.

~

Rebecca shut the bathroom door firmly behind Ted as he entered. She turned around, put her hands squarely on his shoulders, and nervously asked, “What the fuck are we going to do? Leo can’t help us until this afternoon, the kids leave Thursday night – there’s no time for legal action in there! Fuck! We’re going to let them down, they’re going to hate us–”

“Whoa, whoa, it’ll be okay,” Ted replied quickly, anchoring his hands on her hips, pressing his forehead against hers. “Let’s figure this out together. Let’s talk it out. The kids’ll appreciate our honesty, and maybe they’ll help us come up with something.”

Rebecca nodded. “You’re right. You’re right. We shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

“They’ll think we’re making out in here,” Ted interjected. “Uh, not that we can’t…”

Rebecca gave him a slight shoulder nudge. “Let’s go.”

He took her hand and led her out into the common area. Daisy and David were spread out on the second mattress, fighting the urge to sleep despite the room’s discomfort relative to their beds at home.

“Were you making out in there?” quipped David sleepily.

“No,” replied Ted, with a blush.

Rebecca explained, “We were just discussing a minor, ah, a minor issue we may have keeping you here in London.”

“We can all fit here, that’s no problem,” said David matter-of-factly, 

He was supported by a nod from Daisy, who then added, “It’ll be like a sleepover.”

Ted laughed. “Y’all would really… want that?”

“Well, Rupert’s in our house,” David deadpanned, “so anything else is better by far.”

Rebecca laced her fingers in Ted’s, settling down on the mattress opposite the kids, ignoring for a moment how strangely eager her kids seemed to move in with Ted. It was refreshing. It was exciting. But she needed to take one thing at a time. “So. We’ve got help on the way - we’ve been in contact with a lawyer to challenge the custody arrangement your father is pushing for. However, there’s no way we can get everything fixed by Thursday night.”

“We’re going to solve this, though, okay?” Ted added, hiding the anxiety in his voice behind what seemed like genuine positivity. Rebecca was impressed at how well he hid nerves, how he expertly grounded her and the kids. “Everybody shout out your ideas. Nothin’s too crazy.”

Daisy perked up. “Time machine.”

Ted winced, regretting his phrasing. “Well–”

“Magic train like in Harry Potter,” she added, taking the notion of nothing being too crazy to heart. “Balloon–”

“Train,” repeated David, seriously, slowly. “It would suck, yeah, but we could… we could take the train. Wave Rupert goodbye. Then take the train one stop down, you pick us up… we come right back here. He never has to know.”

“Yeah… by the time the school would be checkin’ up, he’d be out of the picture,” Ted commented, scratching his mustache in concentration. “Heck, we could even have y’all call and pretend to be his assistants or something and cancel your registration once we’re all secured.”

“That’s brilliant,” said Rebecca. “Your things will be all packed up, anyway… it’s foolproof.”

The tension in her shoulders relaxed. She wasn’t alone anymore, facing the impossible; she had a whole team around her - her kids, Ted - who were forging their own path together, and it was far preferable to the one Rupert had pushed her down.

~

But the plan was not foolproof; this was learned the hard way.

When Rupert crossed from the yellow edge of the train platform into the car, David’s heart leapt into his chest. He clutched the pride beads on his wrist - a going-away gift from Kris - tightly, and made some kind of whimpering noise to get Daisy’s attention.

“It’s quite the trek for children to make alone, don’t you think?” Rupert said innocently. “Besides, old Jack at the Headmaster’s office and I have some catching-up to do!”

Daisy and David sat in perfect silence across from their father on the train, whose eyes never seemed to leave them. It was almost as if he knew, or at least suspected, that they’d been conspiring with Rebecca and Ted.

The first stop came and went. Ted, Rebecca, and Henry stood alone on the platform, confused. Daisy couldn’t bear to wave to them from her window seat.

David covertly texted Rebecca from the bathroom.

David: He’s riding with us. We can’t get off.

Of course, David thought, as he trudged back to his seat, he chooses to care about our well-being now . When we finally try to take control of our lives.

“David, you could try to look excited,” Rupert said icily when David sat down.

“I’m not.”

“Trust me when I say I have your best interest in mind. You need space from your mother; you need–”

“Don’t tell me what I need!” David snapped.

Daisy nodded in agreement, folding her arms across her chest. “Yeah. Mummy says you’re a fu–”

“Daisy!” urged David, suppressing an eye-roll. “A fully annoying person, right?”

Daisy giggled. “Exactly.”

David took a deep breath, returning his sister’s small smile. Yes, this sucked royally. Yes, he was in his father’s company for far too long (approximately twelve minutes so far.) But Daisy was here, too, and he had to be strong for her. It wasn’t hard, really - he thought she brought out the best in him. If he were here alone, he probably would have punched out Rupert and escaped by now.

A few stops came and went before David realized he could still do that. The only change would be taking Daisy with him.

But now, so far from London, where would they go?

He remained seated, hands flexed, not fisted, and read his mother’s texts.

Mum: Well, Parents’ Weekend is next weekend. Expect Ted and me to be there. By then, all should be settled and you can come home. 

Mum: Ted wants me to tell you that the bright side here is that you will soon be free of Rupert. Hang in there! The train’s likely almost there. He’ll turn around and you can start living your lives.

Mum: I think he was joking but Ted also said to let you know that you’re lucky you’re missing all the making out we’re going to do.

David: Yes, I am glad to miss that. But I do think he was joking. About telling me, that is. I don't care what you do with him but please spare me the details.

Chapter Text

David didn’t understand how, or why, but Giggleswick was actually a normal, respectable facility. Its grounds were well-maintained, its classes interesting. Its dormitories were blissfully Rupert-free, even if he did have to share a room with a rugby fanatic. Still, the news that he’d be returning to Richmond with his mother and Ted, received yesterday, was very welcome.

“It’s like a… minimalist Hogwarts?” he offered to Daisy as the two sat in one of the many gardens on Saturday morning. With a little more than a full week behind them, they were just beginning to adjust to the building’s layout and make acquaintances in their classes - just in time to leave once more.

“It’s not like my old school,” insisted Daisy. “I don’t really like it. It’s okay .”

“Right. Well, it’s only temporary. In fact, it’s practically over.”

“I do like being at the same school with you. I’ll miss it when we go home tomorrow.”

“Well, maybe we can find a school to attend together in London. Although, I’ll be going to university in a few years…”

“Two,” specified Daisy, sadly.

David nodded, dragging the toe of his oxford through the dry dirt that had spilled from a nearby flowerbed and landed on the cobblestone path. The wind picked up, cold against his face. The metal bench behind him was cold, too. He wanted to go inside. But they promised to meet Ted and Rebecca out front.

Daisy glanced around at the other students waiting for their parents to arrive for Parents’ Weekend. It was a school holiday of sorts, and seemed a bit cultish to the siblings, who were quickly thrown into the chaos of its advent. Apparently, the school put out its very best art, music, academics, its best food, its cleanest hallways ever, for this weekend, in an attempt to impress the parents. The students, too, changed their demeanors, eager to attend classes the week prior so their teachers recognized them if they encountered them at the academic exposés.

“This place is a bit mental, to be fair,” David commented.

“It has a dumb name,” added Daisy.

“Yeah, they take themselves way too seriously for being named fucking Giggleswick.”

A familiar flash of blonde, accompanied by a now-familiar mustache, caught David’s eye across the garden quad. “Here they are,” David said, nudging Daisy. “Oh, and Henry’s come, too.”

“Good.” Daisy beamed. “He’s fun to play with. He lets me play as Daisy in MarioKart.” Here, she gave David a pointed glance, referencing their past matchups.

“You don’t complain when I win as Daisy, because then you technically win either way,” David said sheepishly. Daisy rolled her eyes, but seemed to concede. She accompanied David to the edge of the path to greet their visitors.

“D&D! My favorite complicated game,” said Ted in greeting. He pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead, briefly disentangling his arm from Rebecca’s. “All this Northern England air’s making y’all taller, isn’t it?”

Rebecca wrapped Daisy in a tight hug. “It definitely has. I cannot believe you’ve had a growth spurt in the one week you’ve been away!”

She moved on to kiss David’s cheek. “I fear you’re catching up to me.”

“Even in your heels,” David returned, giving his mother a hug.

When the greetings and pleasantries were through, David offered a brief tour of the main buildings, during which Ted found every opportunity possible to make a pun and Henry and Daisy only egged him on. David had previously thought it was great that Henry was around Daisy’s age, as they could keep one another company once he went off to college and left her behind, but now the two of them were quickly becoming a menacing duo. And they’d all be sharing a father figure… maybe it would be good to get off to college after all.

Although, if he was being honest, he'd desperately wanted a brother when he was little. He wasn't little anymore, but he certainly didn't mind Henry's new presence in his life.

~

“I’m nervous. I feel like I’m going to a college open house or something.” Ted fiddled with his seatbelt. “Can I throw something else out there? Can we pretend to – well, since it’s our first vacation together…” 

Here he gave a slight laugh, aware that this trip was by no means a vacation. “We should have some fun. Do something a little different. Something besides sifting through lawyer papers and writing addresses on forms with Leo and his lawyer buddies. Too mucha that lately.”

“I agree. What do you have in mind?”

“Deceit and shenanigans.”

“How so?”

“We erase Rupert from the picture, Back to the Future style. You know how he just faded from the photos? Like that. We just gaslight an entire faculty into thinkin’ there’s never been a Rupert Mannion in your life. What do we have to lose? The kids are coming home with us anyway.”

Rebecca gave Ted a long look at a stoplight, wondering if he was less nervous about going to Giggleswick and more nervous to ask her what he just had.

“You know I’m never going to say no to that proposition.”

“Ah, wait, there’s too many moving pieces. Like Henry, and why the kids have some random last name and–”

“Jesus, even your fantasies are intricate,” Rebecca laughed.

In a whisper, for Henry’s benefit in the backseat. Ted countered, “Well, you’re the one who told me I couldn’t be a sexy chimneysweep because the Beatles reference I made killed the mood.”

“ All of that killed the mood.”

They rode in silence for a few moments, Rebecca and Ted both replaying their conversation. They were going to ignore Rupert, they were going to pretend that Ted was always the man he was proving himself to be for her and for the kids… and Rupert would be so mad if he found out. It was a glorious idea. A small indulgence after what had been a stressful week that had come quite close to a legal showdown, save for Leo’s expert lawyering that had led them to settle outside of court - in Rebecca’s favor, thankfully.

“I’m quite looking forward to the deceit and shenanigans,” Rebecca said. Left unsaid was her excitement to envision the life she’d have liked for herself - a life with a different father for her children, a life that valued her own happiness. She was getting this, now, twenty years too late. And today seemed like a fine day to kick things off.

Ted laughed, taking in her businesslike attire, buttoned to the top button, her golden hair perfectly styled. She seemed to be far from shenanigans of any kind. Still, though, he knew she was more relaxed than she’d been when they first met. Her smile came out more. It brought the seafoam kaleidoscope in her eyes out too, just in time for him to drown in them with each glance.

“I am, too.”

~

“You must be Daisy’s parents. God, the resemblances are striking.”

This statement from Daisy’s art teacher caught Ted and Rebecca off-guard at the art show later that afternoon. Daisy, Henry, and David were off looking at a mural David had contributed to, leaving Ted and Rebecca to browse Daisy’s various (admittedly skillful) crayon drawings on display.

Rebecca’s hairsbreadth of a pause was swallowed up in Ted’s eager response. “That’s us, all right. We always joke she’s an exact mix of the two of us.” He extended his hand for the young woman to shake. “I’m Ted.”

Rebecca found herself smiling to stifle the laughter that was fighting its way through her throat. Ted conversed easily, naturally with the teacher – something Rupert never did – and played the part of Daisy’s father alarmingly, endearingly well. He'd done this all afternoon. Smooth, attentive. Kind. Three things Rupert was not. It felt good to be with Ted. He was a good man. And the more she watched him with her kids, the more she knew he was a good dad, too.

She took a deep exhale, relieved. Finally. After two decades of despair with Rupert, she'd stumbled upon the strangest, most compassionate creature there was.

“... and she’s got Rebecca’s hair, for sure,” Ted said, looping her in after a few moments. “And eyes. And accent. I’m American – surprise.”

As the three laughed, and Ted’s hand on Rebecca’s waist felt ever more comfortable to them both, a distinct chill swept through the gallery space when the side door opened. The small crowd of parents and kids gathered half-automatically turned to the bearer of the cold: a graying man in an overpriced, silky cravat.

“Surprise, indeed,” called Rupert with smug conviction, pocketing his sunglasses as he stepped into the room.

Chapter Text

“Excuse me, Rupert, this is not your weekend. Your weekend is next weekend, and they’re not coming. We’re busy.”

Ted finally broke free of Daisy’s teacher’s conversational entrapment to rejoin Rebecca, who had spent the last few minutes reminding Rupert - to varying degrees of politeness - that this was not his turn with the children. The children in question were currently hiding on the astronomy lookout deck with Henry, catching him up on their father’s latest misdeeds.

Rebecca repeated herself again, through gritted teeth. Finally, worn down against his half-placid smirk, she exclaimed, “We’ve just settled this! Why can’t you follow any fucking rules?”

“They are still my children, Rebecca. They’re not his.” He gave a curt nod toward Ted as he approached. “What’s he doing here, anyway?”

“I’m here to accompany my girlfriend.” The term suddenly felt juvenile on his lips. They’d not settled on “partner,” and Ted was worried he’d sound too cowboy-ish saying it, and Rupert would mock him, so he’d said “girlfriend,” and it seemed so unimportant… so he straightened his back and continued. “Well, my fiancee.”

At Rebecca’s confused glance, Ted only doubled down, panicking and out of his depth. “Whoops. Cat’s outta the bag. You know cats actually like to get in bags, sometimes? Had a Primark bag once, this cat– I– is anyone else really thirsty? I’m gonna see if there’s a vending machine in the hall.”

“I’ll come with you,” Rebecca added, hanging onto his elbow until they were in the hall.

“What the fuck?” she whispered as Ted stared at a can of seltzer in the vending machine.

“Do you have any change?”

“ Ted .”

“What? I’m thirsty.”

“What was that? Back there? Do you have something you’d like to ask me?”

“Well–” Ted blushed. “I just got all caught up in how… high school girlfriend sounds. I didn’t know if you’d like it, and I panicked.”

Rebecca laughed. “Clearly.”

“How’re you handling this so well? Confrontin’ him and all? I freaked out like a wet cat. Damn! I gotta stop mentioning cats. Anyway, I thought I’d be able to help you deal with him… and I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

Ted toed his shoe along a crack in the tile floor. “Dunno how to fix this.”

“Caulk, I think,” Rebecca replied, playing into his lighthearted side. She lifted his chin to meet hers, pressing a gentle kiss against his lips. “Really, don’t worry about fixing anything. I think it’s quite funny, really. I mean, Rupert’s probably shitting himself.”

Ted beamed. “Cool.”

“And for what it’s worth, it’s okay if girlfriend sounds juvenile. I feel like our relationship has that innocent, dreamy quality that accompanies young love.” She blushed, laughing. “Is that… cringey ? Is that the word David uses?”

“Yes, and yes, and I love it,” Ted replied, returning her kiss. “And I love you, too.”

The elevator slid open nearby, and Henry, David, and Daisy tumbled out in time to see Ted and Rebecca’s shared kiss.

“Ew, gross,” David heckled. “Is he gone yet?”

Daisy, peering in the gallery, shook her head. David moved to press the elevator button again, but Rebecca stopped him.

“There’s been a change of plans. Please act very excited about our engagement.”

Henry’s eyes widened. “When did that happen?”

“Three seconds ago. It’s sort of pretend,” Ted replied cheerfully.

Rebecca liked the sort of .

~

Under the crystalline chandeliers in the ornate banquet hall, Ted scored the group a six-seat table.

“Are you sure about this? I don’t want to spend any more time with him than I have to,” David muttered as Ted enthusiastically waved Rupert over to join them.

“I know what you mean, but imagine that smugness disappearing from his face,” Rebecca replied, her grin wide. She nudged Ted’s shoulder. “Fuck, I don’t have a ring.”

“Don’t get mad at me, but I’ve got one.”

“Why would I be mad?”

“Don’t want you to think I’d planned this. Truth is, I always carry ‘round my grandmother’s ring, the one she bought instead’a boarding the Titanic. Not in case I ever found someone needing a proposal. It’s just good luck.”

Ted pulled out a flat, engraved silver bland from his wallet. “It ain’t sparkly enough for you, but it’s… something, right?”

“It’s an antique. That gives it its charm.”

As Rupert sauntered over, Henry added, “Here comes another antique. Way less charm.”

Rebecca laughed. “Good one.”

“Hello,” said Rupert through gritted teeth. “Is this seat taken?”

“No, sirree,” Ted said, slapping the empty space on the table. Rupert set his tray down onto it, then slid stiffly into the chair.

“I don’t believe we’ve met,” he said lightly to Henry.

“I’m Henry.”

“Henry’s my–” Ted began, but David somehow intervened, throwing an arm around the younger boy.

“Guess what, Rupert? You know how I used to want a brother? Finally got one.”

Rupert’s blank stare forced a laugh from Daisy, and the sheer glee on David’s face was well worth sharing a meal with him.

“I suppose you could look at it that way,” Rupert said finally, evidently thrown by David’s rare smile.

“What other way is there?” Rebecca quipped. “They’ll soon be stepbrothers.”

Rupert pinched the bridge of his nose. “Is he not just some student here?”

Ted rolled his eyes. “You’ve noticed me and him are the only ones without British accents here, haven’t you? He’s my son.”

“Oh.” Rupert took a spoonful of beans and chewed, deep in concentration. “Oh, my. You’re–” he waved his fork between Ted and Rebecca. “And before the ink on your divorce papers even dries. Hmm.”

“You didn’t even wait until we were divorced !” Rebecca retorted, louder than she wanted to.

“This isn’t fun,” Daisy complained.

“No, you’re right, this is not fun. Your father is incapable of offering a simple ‘congratulations.’” Rebecca glared intensely at her ex, and Ted followed suit.

For a few beats, the only sound was the scrape of silverware against plates.

Ted was wondering why Rebecca was so genuinely offended by his reaction. He was wondering, too, why it all felt so real, why this woman he’d only been involved with for a month (at most ) seemed so content enacting this charade. Were they moving too fast? Had he pushed them here? Did she really feel the same way? Why did he feel so good about this, like he’d be fine if he never got that ring back?

The deafening silence at the table and the ringing in his ears, the dull pounding of his heart, the tension in his hands… he could feel a panic attack coming. Not here. Not now. How come Rebecca was so good at confronting Rupert, and he just wasn’t ? Why the hell would she want to be with him if he can’t help her?

Before he could think, he was out of the banquet hall, fighting his forthcoming attack. He’d felt a tinge of it in the hall earlier, but Rebecca was there – like always, anymore – and took him right out of it. But now he was drowning in it, and he couldn’t ask her to leave the kids with Rupert– how would that even go?

Outside in the fresh night air, he took deep breaths, as best he could, staring at the flowers lining the cobblestone paths. Daisies. He counted them, and then lost count. He watched his breath fog up in the cold before disappearing.

“Ted?”

He turned. Rebecca stood almost timidly by the nearest lantern, watching his tense position nervously. “Ted, what’s going on?”

“I get these sometimes, panic attacks.”

Rebecca stepped forward, closing the gap between them until she could steady his shaking shoulders as he fought tears.

“‘M sorry. I want to be supportive of you, I wanna be able to punch him in the face for you, but I get so nervous, and then I start wonderin’ why you’re with me and why you seemed so… why it seemed so real in there and I…”

Rebecca wiped a tear from his cheek with her thumb, gently, tenderly. “Ted, the only reason I can is because of you. You showed me what a good man is like, and it’s only because of you that I realized how truly shitty he is. The rest is history.”

Ted sniffled. “I think you’re giving me too much credit.”

“I’m not. You’ve been wonderful. Hell, you’re keeping me from punching him in the face. I think it would send the children to therapy. To be honest, they should go anyway.”

“Yeah, we should get on that.”

Rebecca kissed his tearstained cheek. “Being with someone who cares about my children is so refreshing. Not to mention, you also care about me.”

“Henry likes you,” Ted said quietly. “He seemed pleased that you liked his joke.”

“It was a good joke. Plus, I’ve got to be supportive; he’s my stepson now, isn’t he? At least sort-of?”

Ted nodded, trying and failing to hide a smile. “At least.”

~

As night fell, and the Giggleswick Parents’ Weekend events were over until the next morning, Ted, Rebecca, and the kids headed back to Rebecca’s car with the kids’ luggage. After an eventful afternoon, they’d decided to head home a day early. This was a good idea, as everyone was exhausted. Ted had to carry a fatigued Daisy to the car, at the far end of the monstrous expanse of blacktop, close to the train stop.

So Rupert was nearby.

“Rupert!” Rebecca called, once everyone else was in the car. “Come here.”

He pointed to his chest stupidly, as if to ask, Me ?

“Yes, you, you asshole!”

He walked over quickly. “My train leaves in five minutes.”

“I don’t need five minutes. I just need to know why you came all this way to see us. Don’t say you missed the children; you barely wanted to see them when they lived in your house.”

Rupert opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, irritated. “I came to see you.”

Rebecca scoffed. “That ship has fucking sailed.”

“I know – and that’s not what I mean. I… wanted to ask you…”

A flicker of embarrassment creased his already-creased face. In a small voice, he asked, “May I please have the club back?”

“What club?”

“The fucking club! Richmond!”

“I have that?”

“Yes! I got taken the fucking cleaners last week! Your settlement, your custody… all I have is the mansion.”

“Poor you!”

“Please! I’ll do anything. I want the club back. I didn’t mean to give it to you. I fired my lawyer after he did that.”

“No. I like having something over you.”

Rebecca was reaching for her door handle when he said the unthinkable.

“I’ll give up my every-other-weekend for it.”

She turned around quickly; she felt like she had whiplash.

“That’s your only custody.”

He gulped. “Yes.”

“ Fuck you. Holy shit, fuck you .”

She slipped into the car and left him standing in the lot, frowning.

~

“So, what was that about?” Ted asked quietly, a few kilometers of sheer silence later.

“Just Rupert being an asshole. By the way… are you in the market for a job?”

“Um, I guess so. What do you have in mind?”

“Football coach. Well, manager, as we say over here.”

“Gettin’ some deja vu, here. You askin’ me to do a football gig.”

“I have Richmond now, and I have you. Do you think you can learn British football in a few months?”

“Henry plays soccer. We got this, right, bud?”

“Yep,” came Henry’s sleepy reply from the backseat. On either side of him, David and Daisy were sound asleep.

“Well, then, welcome to the team, Coach Lasso.”

Chapter Text

Alone in his mansion, Rupert poured himself a drink. A strong one. His laptop, on the island counter, was open to a shady website that broadcast American college football games live.

He shuddered at the thought, but he was watching. Intently. Like a car wreck. Or a children’s dance recital. It was terrible, but he couldn’t look away.

The announcers, all cheeky and American and annoying, were doing little to assuage Rupert’s headache and growing nausea.

For the field goal, Northwestern is sending out its newest recruit: Freshman David Welton. He may be slight in build, but word on the street is that this kid’s got quite the kick on him. Penn State is right to be worried – you can sense it in the stands; the whole game could be determined by Welton’s performance.

As they get set up , said the other announcer, let’s get our viewers acquainted with this kicker. He’s got quite the story. He’s come to Northwestern all the way from London. His father used to own a football club in the UK.

He grew up on a whole different kind of football, then, huh?

Sure did. Now, his mother owns the club, and his stepfather, who used to coach college ball at Wichita, has won two championships, and they’re here today - let’s see if we can get the camera on them–

~

“Oh, look at that, we’re famous over here, too,” Ted said, nudging Rebecca’s arm to get her attention. She took her eyes reluctantly from David, warming up on the sidelines, to give the camera that had landed on them a polite wave.

In the two years since Ted had taken over the manager position at Richmond, the steep learning curve that came with coaching a new sport flattened with shocking ease; with tips from Henry, David, and the team, he found his footing and learned essential vocabulary. Applying his earnest wisdom to the sport provoked several pundits to dislike him at first, but after a surprise victory led Richmond to emerge victorious in the Premier League, they came aboard his unique movement.

Rupert was absolutely crushed at the win; Rebecca was showered with positive press after the upset victory, leading for the win to be attributed to her new leadership. Suffice to say, it was great fun to rub it all in Rupert’s face at David’s secondary school graduation.

Also for Rupert’s displeasure, Ted pressed a kiss to Rebecca’s cheek while the camera was still on them.

“You make every camera a kiss cam, don’t you?” quipped Kris, who recently had seen enough of the couples’ PDA while traveling to visit his boyfriend with them.

“You think this week has been a lot? Daisy and I learned the hard way to knock before entering their room,” Henry told him, stifling laughter.

“Ew, really?”

“If we were just a few seconds later, we’d have been scarred for life,” Daisy added.

“You know, we can hear you,” Rebecca said, tilting her head back slightly to the row behind her own. “How about you just focus on the game? Save your grievances for the hotel.”

“You know it’s in good fun,” protested Daisy. “Plus, you said we should focus on watching Hazel.”

“And have you been doing that?”

Daisy swept her eyes along the row of seats, panicking at first. Then she spied the toddler in Kris’s arms. “Yes, of course we have.”

“Give her here, she’ll want to see David,” Ted suggested, holding out his arms for his youngest. “You know, if she’s even half as strong as he is, she could be doing this someday. I mean, she’s already mastered bruising my shins and she’s only had eighteen months to practice.”

As David took to the field, fans in the stadium - a sea of purple, of Northwestern pride - stood up, now confident they could clinch a victory at the first game of the season. Ted stood up, too, pretending not to hear something pop in his knee, and slid Hazel to his hip.

“I think he’s going to do it,” Rebecca told Ted, lacing her fingers with his. “He’s had the best coach in you.” She surveyed the field, the crowds, the small but powerful figure of David in the middle of it all. “God, it will be great if he gets this.”

“He’s got it,” Ted comforted. He brushed a flyway from Hazel’s face. “Right? You believe in him?”

He chalked her accidental nod up to an affirmation.

All of the noise in the stadium seemed to halt for a moment, the tension building and building as David prepared. Ted watched his expression, calm and calculated, on the stadium screen.

Taking a deep breath, David embarked on his running start, then expertly kicked the ball toward the goalposts.

It soared perfectly between the posts, delivering three points and an almost guaranteed victory to his team. Deafening cheers overtook the stands.

David’s teammates swarmed him, so much so that the cameras lost him in the crowd. He was a mere flash of a jersey now - just Welton and a bit of a fabric nine, a gleam of a smile that was not as rare as it used to be.