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Brian sat comfortably on the sofa. The upstairs hallway wasn't half bad with furniture. It looked nice. Alex always did have an eye for decoration. It could use a painting or two, but it was nice.
Sure… Brian had gone into Alex’s house without his permission… And… Sorta took a book from Alex’s room. And… Maybe taken a can of soda. So what? He was his boyfriend. It was whatever.
That logic stuck with him… Until he heard the front door open and conversation from downstairs. Brian’s eyes widened. He didn't think about the fact that Alex could invite someone over. He… Didn't take that into account.
This wasn't good. He heard a familiar voice with Alex. Was that… Amy? No it couldn't have been. They weren't on speaking terms anymore. After Alex broke up with her… He stopped talking to her. He felt his heart drop as he heard Alex say her name and let out a short laugh.
He began to panic. He began to overthink. This couldn't be happening. Alex wouldn't lie to him. Right? He faintly heard Alex say something before he headed upstairs. Brian quickly fled to a closet. He opened the door and was able to close it behind him before Alex got up the stairs. He heard something get set down. He didn't think anything of it… He was preoccupied with Alex opening his bedroom door. After a minute, it closed again.
Alex paused in his tracks. He stood where he was for a moment before Brian’s phone started ringing. He was glad it was just on vibrate. He quickly dug in his pockets and turned the ringing off. He hoped that Alex didn't hear it.
A few seconds go by before Alex starts the voicemail. “Hey, Brian, I'm hanging out with Jay right now. I was just calling to see if our plans for tomorrow are still up. Call me back when you get the chance.”
Brian listened as Alex made his way back downstairs. Brian slowly opened the closet door again. At that point, he was holding back tears. Alex was lying to him. He started hyperventilating. Tears poured down his cheeks as he headed towards the window.
He slowly slid the window open and climbed out. He made sure he was careful. He quickly made his way to the tree that hung over part of the roof. Brian had escaped Alex's house with that tree countless times. He hopped up onto one of the branches and slowly made his way to the trunk.
Still blinking back tears, Brian climbed down. He couldn't focus on being safe… Just careful. He got a couple scratches as he maneuvered his way down. Once he was down far enough, he jumped. As he landed, he felt a shock run through his bones. He should really start jumping from lower on the tree… He didn't have time to think about it. Brian glanced over to the window. He didn't want to be caught.
He shouldn't have looked.
He wished he didn't look.
He saw them kiss. He was frozen for a moment. As he began to cry harder, he ran down the sidewalk on the street. Jay was only a few houses down. He felt so many questions fly through his head. He was hurt. He felt his heart slowly break.
As he reached Jay’s house, he desperately knocked on the door. It didn't take long for Jay to answer. He saw Brian and the state he was in. He quickly became serious and let Brian in. He led him to the dining table and let him sit down.
“Let me make something to drink. Do you want coffee? Or…?” Jay trailed off. Brian glanced up at him. He gave him a half smile. “You don't happen to have hot chocolate, do you?” It was his comfort drink. He would choose hot chocolate over any other drink. Even if it was over 100° outside. He would still choose hot chocolate.
Jay thought for a moment before he nodded. “I do,” he paused, “so what's up? I'm guessing it's important… You never really come to me for stuff like this.”
Brian stared down at his hands. They laid on the table, shaking slightly. “Jay, this is gonna be a lot to take in. But I really don't have the patience to… Deal with waiting… So I'm gonna need a favor from you,” he spoke. He didn't make eye contact with Jay.
“What is it?”
“I need you to just… Bare with me.”
Jay hummed in response. “Alright. I'll do my best.”
“It's about Alex…” Brian paused. “I know you're his best friend so-” he tried to find the right words. “I had to come to you.”
“Did something happen? Did you two get in a fight?” Jay asked. He was leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for their drinks to finish.
“No,” Brian stopped, “well, I don't know. It's gonna be a fight. That's for sure,” he tried to joke about it. He thought it would help. It definitely didn't. “Alex and I… I'm-... He's my-...” He had to rip the bandaid off. This wouldn't go anywhere if he didn't. “We're…” Brian tried, “we're together.”
Jay raised an eyebrow. “As in… Dating?” Brian nodded, closing his eyes for a few seconds. “Did he… Ever tell you he broke up with Amy?” Brian asked, his blood running cold. “He did. Did something happen?” Jay asked. He brought their mugs back to the dining table and sat down across from Brian.
Nodding, Brian slowly started to explain. “Alex and I do this thing where we… Kinda just go into each other's houses without warning. I was gonna surprise him,” Brian choked on his words. He gasped for air. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He didn't want to break down in front of Jay more than he already had.
“He got home and… Amy was with him,” Jay’s face seemed to visibly pale. “I thought he wasn't on speaking terms with her anymore.”
Brian looked down at the mug in his hands. The hot chocolate was still too hot to drink. He felt the steam brush against his face. “I thought so too,” Brian paused. “I left, obviously. But… When I looked at the window…” Brian froze. His hands began to shake even more. Tears began to consistently fall down his face. “I saw them…” Brian covered his eyes. His hands stayed firmly on his face. “They kissed,” Brian’s voice broke.
“Oh…” Jay had both an angry and confused expression on his face. “He left a voicemail saying he was with you,” Brian sounded so pathetic. “I don't know what to do. I love him,” he sniffled.
“Give me your phone,” Jay said, firmly. Brian looked up at him for a moment. “What? Why?” He didn't last long looking at Jay. He held his sleeve over his face. “Don't ask questions, please. Just give me your phone.”
Brian hesitated before pulling his phone from his pocket. He shakily handed it to Jay. While Brian stifled his sobs, Jay opened his contacts and found Alex’s name. He didn't wait for a moment before clicking his name and calling him.
“You're calling him?” Brian asked, nervously. At this point, Jay was furious. He didn't respond to Brian. It rang for a moment and then Alex spoke.
“Hey, Bri. Assuming you got my voicemail… Are you still up for tomorrow?” He sounded so… Innocent. “He got your voicemail, yeah,” Jay sounded very angry. “Jay!” Alex sounded surprised. Jay put the phone on speaker. “Hi, Alex…” Brian’s voice shook. He sounded so… Small. So upset.
“You're… With Jay?” Alex asked, beginning to get worried. “Where… Are you guys?” Jay spoke up again. “He's at my house, Alex,” there were no words that could describe the sheer anger that seeped through Jay. He felt his hands begin to shake with the built up fury. “Okay… Let me come over. I can explain.”
“You have a lot to explain, you asshole,” Jay spat. “I only said I was with you… It's not that serious.”
Jay said nothing. Brian quickly took the phone and hung up. He laid his head down on the table. His hot chocolate was beside him, untouched. Jay stood up. “Brian, he's coming over. Do you want me to talk to him?” Brian quickly looked up and shook his head. “No! No… I should talk to him…” He wiped his eyes with his sleeves and got up as well.
He headed to the front door. “Jay, you can't tell Tim about this. He's my best friend… He's already beat the shit out of Alex before… I don't want that to happen again. Please don't tell him.”
“I'll do my best. He has a way of getting this sort of stuff out of me. But I won't tell him about you and Alex ,” Jay sighed. Brian nodded softly. He understood… Alex had a way with getting stuff out of him too.
Brian opened the front door and saw Alex approaching already. His sadness quickly got replaced by anger. Brian slammed the front door behind him and headed down the porch. Alex tried to speak to Brian, but Brian swung his hand and slapped Alex square in the face.
“What the hell- Brian?” Alex looked at him. Brian had a look of pure disdain on his face. Tears tracked down his face. “What is wrong with you?!” Brian yelled. “You said you weren't on speaking terms with her, and the next thing I know, you're kissing her?!” He immediately confronted him. All the color drained from Alex's face at once.
“Oh… Brian…” He said, softly. “If this is just some sick prank, then I want NO part of it!” His voice rang in Alex’s ears. They began yelling over each other. Jay couldn't make much out. He couldn't focus on both conversations at once. He heard the occasional word from each of them… But other than that, nothing.
“Listen to me!” Brian yelled, his hands shook, his face was red from both tears and rage. Alex seemed to quiet down for just a moment. “I don't want to hear ANY excuses! I'm done with your stupid film, I'm done with forgiving every little thing you do… I'm DONE with you!” Brian’s voice broke. He began to sob. “Brian…” Alex began.
“No! I want nothing to do with you,” Brian retaliated. “Brian, listen to me!” Alex stepped forward and cupped his face in his hands. “Just let me explain, please!” Alex seemed guilty. His eyes watered with regret. Brian didn't say anything.
“I invited Amy over so she could get anything she left at my house. We started talking, and decided we could hang out for a while. I told her I was with you,” Alex frantically explained. “ She kissed me. I made her leave… I didn't ask for her to do that! I didn't want her to do that!”
Of course, Brian didn't believe him. How could anyone believe bullshit like that? “Get off of me, Alex! Do you think I'm stupid?!” Brian was very mad now.
“No, of course I don't think you're stupid,” Alex’s hands began to shake. “Please, I didn't mean for any of this to happen.”
“Alex, I can't do this!”
“Brian… Just give me another shot. I know you don't believe me. I wouldn't believe me either. I fucked up by letting her stay over, I know. I didn't know she would pull something like that…” Alex started. He had to pause to take a deep breath. “Brian, I'm so sorry. Is there any way I can make this up to you?”
Brian stared at him for a moment. “Call Amy,” he finally decided. “Tell her that you don't want to be friends. Tell her that she's an asshole.”
Alex fished for his phone in his pocket. He immediately opened his contacts and called Amy. She started speaking first. “Hey, Alex. I'm sorry, okay? I got the wrong idea. I wasn't thinking.”
“Amy, don't try to contact me again, okay? I don't think us being friends would work. Especially after what happened today.”
Amy didn't say anything for a moment. “Okay. I understand,” Alex hung up. Brian turned away from him. “Brian… Please. How about we restart? Forget all of this happened. Let's just… Go out to eat, talk things through… And… Try again?”
“I already know everything about you, Alex,” Brian’s anger had washed away. It was once again replaced by a deep sorrow. “And I know everything about you … I love you, Brian. I could never do that to you.”
“Alex… I think we should take a break,” Brian said, softly. Alex’s heart dropped. Tears filled his eyes for just a moment before they spilled. “What?” Brian looked over to him. “Not permanent! I just… Need a couple days. It won't be longer than a week. I just need to get some stuff in order.”
Nodding, Alex took a step back from him. “Call me when you're ready, yeah?” Alex looked up at him. Brian met his gaze. “Yeah.”
“Promise?” Alex sounded desperate for that much. “I promise… And Alex,” Brian began. “I love you. I do. I just need to… Think.”
As Alex nodded, he spoke very gently. “I love you too, Brian. I'll be here when you're ready.”
Brian nodded slowly. Alex began to walk away. Brian bent down, he hid his face in his hands, beginning to cry again. He knew he wouldn't last long without Alex.
Looking up, he watched Alex walking back to his house. His hands were in his pockets and his head hung. Brian felt as though time froze for a second. He thought about a million things in less than a second. He quickly stood up straight again, and started running. He ran to Alex.
“Alex!” Brian yelled after him. Alex turned around. He was met with Brian reaching him, lifting himself up to his toes, cupping Alex’s face in his hands, and kissing him. After a moment, he pulled away. “That was a fast couple of days,” Alex joked. Brian ignored his comment and pulled him into a hug.
“Here's your second chance, asshole. Don't blow it,” Brian squeezed him, refusing to let go.
He wouldn't forgive him.
Brian would never forgive him.
He just couldn't lose him.