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Lee Wan often gets asked of his hobbies and interests, as any other person would. And ever since he realized he actually has to do his hobbies to consider them as such and he can’t just name things that he wants to start, he really doesn’t have much to say.
He doesn’t know if the other person wants to hear something he wants to pursue or something he does actually for fun, something like…watching movies? Is that too unproductive?
Well, sometimes he draws. But that’s about it. It’s not cool big scale drawings or paintings like other people his age do either, it’s tiny little doodles on his notebooks when he’s supposed to be studying or listening in class. It’s small renditions of things he encountered during his day when he’s writing in his diary before bed, like that cute cat with an overly fluffy tail or the cloud that looked like a leaf he saw through his classroom window, orr the cool looking camera he found in the shack during lunch. Or the pretty boy he took a picture of instead of greeting, like an idiot.
It could’ve been a hi or a what are you doing here? Or anything that didn’t make him look like a weirdo, he wants to hide in his jacket when he sees him the next day. And the next. And the next. And the
Well, the want to hide in his jacket decreases as the days go by and he realizes pretty boy doesn’t actually care about the unsolicited pic that his dumb heart refuses to delete from the camera oh my god…instead, they become..friends?
Kitae calls him to have lunch together a couple days after the first encounter, and Wan unfortunately (fortunately) gets to know that alongside having a million dollar sculpture for a face, he also takes interest in being the most easy-going and welcoming person Lee Wan has ever met. He introduces him to his friends and includes him in their conversations like it’s his job. (When he uses cute bambi to describe what he thought when they first locked eyes, Lee Wan’s whole heart explodes in his chest and slides down his ribs like jelly. He’s so sure of it.)
Lee Wan’s never really complimented or thought of anyone this way consciously but he’s so so comfortable to be around and such good company that it has him wanting to forgo all of his rational thoughts and like, kiss him or something; every single time Kitae smiles his dumb pretty smile with wide eyes and squishable cheeks like he’s so happy to see Lee Wan even though they haven’t even known each other for a month. Or every time he waves and it’s so strangely adorable. A person waving should NOT be adorable.
But that’s sort of his state of mind recently. He knew who Kitae was since before their in the shack encounter of course. He’s always been a goner for people like him who just seem so open, and so charming while doing absolutely nothing. Of course, he had to steal his glances and stare at him and his friends through the window at lunch sometimes.
It’s been happening for a while of course. When he simply asked for an extra pencil and Lee Wan wanted to die over how soft his fingers felt when they brushed. Or that one time he had to give a presentation in class and Kitae was staring at him so intently like the agriculture of South Korea was so interesting, Lee Wan promptly counted to 10 thousand in his brain. Or when he saw him on his way to school once and Kitae was legitimately bent down beside a bush and petting a cat like some kdrama main lead, and Lee Wan actually had to take a step back because how is he real.
Yes, that is all true. But it’s different now. Because not only does he still steal those glances from Kitae, seeing as they literally sit next to each other, but Kitae catches his eyes as well. He looks back and Kitae is already staring.
He sees Kitae on his way to school again, and Kitae says hi to him and talks to him like they're lifelong best friends instead of letting Lee Wan run away like a teenager who doesn’t know how to approach people. Wait.
Anyway, that’s how Kitae reaches that one page at the back of his notebook that’s covered in doodles from the past month. It’s not a big deal. Surely his face doesn’t morph into an uncontrollable smile when he puts tiny hearts around his name and surely he doesn’t think about putting his own name beside his to see how they look together. He’s not some child in pining. He knows that’s dumb and losery and above all, embarrassing, because Kitae is his friend.
Buuuut it doesn’t really hurt to try, right? Just as an experiment.
Wan wants to bury himself 6 feet under when he writes down Shin Kitae and Lee Wan next to each other and his heart actually wants to say cute.
Lee Wan wants to die. He wants to never face himself ever again.
Although….would KiWan look nicer? Or WanTae? Or maybe ShinWan? He can’t decide, they’re all sort of adorable. Or maybe it’s just the prospect of having their names morphed into one that gets him giddy. He accepts it. This is just his fate.
One day at school, they’re both paired up together with 2 other people for a class activity. The other two members don’t really listen to what he wants to contribute and he does not blame them for it at all, because he knows how low and feeble his voice must sound every time he tries to say something, he’s used to it. But? But Kitae interjects each time he notices Lee Wan talk so he can put the attention on him. And Wan wants to burn with every syllable he repeats, knowing the reason is that Kitae wanted him to be heard.
Wan usually stays in class during lunchtime, he hasn’t gone to the shack since the incident though he wants to. But staying in is nice. There’s always that group of kids making videos and playing games on the one phone they have and usually it’s quite annoying, but today he’s more interested in staring down at his notebook instead.
He thinks about how Kitae helped him, and how he nodded and smiled at him when he hesitated a bit before talking, as if to say go on.
He looks around to confirm said boy is out with his friends before he lets his smile free and takes the pencil out of his pouch.
He knows it’s dumb when he adds a little heart next to tiny Kitae’s assertive face. But doodling is so easy to fall into when there’s no thoughts running through his mind. And it’s–
“What’re you doing?”
Lee Wan almost breaks his neck with the speed at which he whips his head up and closes his book. Only to see the very face that’s been haunting his dreams. When did he come in?
“Oh, just. You know.” he stumbles out intelligently. Kitae lets out a huff from his nose and tries to peer over the hands covering his notebook.
“Were you writing something? I wanna see, show me.” He gets closer and Wan holds the notebook to his chest and shakes his head, “it’s just the homework I missed yesterday, you don’t need to see it.”
“Hmm? You were doing homework all smiley like that?” Lee Wan feels his face flush and he slowly nods. “Let me have a look, I think I missed that one too..”
Lee Wan stays quiet and looks at his desk for a moment, the stupid part of his brain actually weighing the consequences of showing Kitae, like that’d be a good option. All because what, he asked? And is unreasonably close right now?
At his silence, Kitae smiles even bigger, “I’m just kidding, Wan-ah. You don’t have to lie to me.” He reaches out to ruffle his hair. Wan feels the warmth of his hand and it seems to spread all over.
“Will you tell me when we get closer? Like, best friends?” Wan tries to focus on his question rather than the idea that Kitae actually wants to be best friends with him. He looks up to meet his eyes in the process which oh. Bad idea. He almost fumbles with his head.
“Uhm, yeah.” Kitae seems to glow at that. He ruffles his hair once more and pats it before pulling his hand away. Pulling it away but not at the same time because it just rests on his nape instead and oh my god he hopes Kitae can’t feel the way his neck burns.
“I’ll hold you to that. Wanna come out? I don’t wanna hang with those dummies anymore.” He gestures towards the window where Wan looks to see their friends playing some variation of Choke The Other Person Before They Can Choke You, and looking absolutely stupid while doing so. Lee Wan smiles amidst his panic.
“Yeah. do you..uh.” He doesn’t look at Kitae when he turns his head again. But of course he just has to rub his fingers comfortably on the back of his neck, like he’s trying to make him fall in love. It unfortunately does take the effect Kitae probably wants and encourages him a little. Also makes him fall a little deeper, but he doesn't need to know that part.
“Do you wanna go to the shack? Together?” He cringes at how he blurts out the last part, but Kitae grins and Wan suddenly doesn’t really wanna care anymore.
“Yeah, let’s do that. Together.”
When he gets home, Lee Wan rips that page off his notebook and shoves it so deep in his drawer that he hopes the wood mites eat it.