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Nick fidgeted nervously at the table of his childhood kitchen. Charlie was still over at his parents' house, breaking the news that he would be taking a sabbatical position in the United States for the next year at a small school in Boston. Nick would not be moving with him, staying behind with Daisy and the house and his teaching job. Sarah was at Tesco's, picking up a few last minute things for Sunday roast. Nora brought two mugs of tea to the table, Nick's in his mug with a yellow N, Nora's in a much newer mug with a rainbow N.
Nick gave a small smile. "Thanks."
"How are you feeling about the sabbatical?" asked Nora.
"I'm excited for him, but I'm still worried. We've done long distance before, but not this long of a distance. Plus time zones, and…" Nick paused, fidgeting with the tiny chip in the handle. "Well, everything will be so different in America. He's been doing so well, and I worry. But I don't want to say anything about it."
"Worried he's going to be worried about you worrying?" Nora asked.
"Yeah," said Nick with a sigh. "I just feel like it's my job to be the strong one since he's the one that's doing the difficult thing."
"Well, there are lots of different types of strength. You and Charlie are both strong in different ways."
"I've never been as strong as him. He's been through so much."
Nora looked at him seriously. "You went through a lot of that with him."
"It's not the same."
"No, it's not. But it also goes back to what I was saying about strength. Let's think about it from fracture mechanics."
Nick chuckled. "Nora, I teach Year 4s how to write short stories and fractions."
"Shush. It's a good metaphor." She paused to drink her tea.
"There are many ways to describe strength. Hardness is about your resistance to yielding, but often materials that bend sooner are tougher, and can handle more before breaking. A material that has been bent or stretched beyond its limit will be harder to yield next time, but also, will be more brittle. And the material with the highest strength may not be the most durable, or able to take small, repeated stress cycles as well as a 'weaker' material. Strength is not strength is not strength. It's all about the situation."
Nick blinked, drinking his tea, his forehead wrinkled thoughtfully. "So you're saying that Charlie is strong partly because of what he's been through, but it makes it so that when something breaks, he kind of shatters."
Nora nodded. "And you, giant softie, are easily dented but very tough. It's part of what makes the two of you so good for each other."
Nick laughed. "I'd protest the softie accusations, but they are very true."
"And even when things break, hey, they've got great cleavage!" said Nora with a ridiculous grin and finger guns. Nick shook his head. "Ok, that one was a dud."
"More seriously, no matter how strong you are trying to be, just tell him. It's better to let him know what you're worrying about, because if I've learned anything in knowing him for the last eight years, it's that his anxiety is playing 3-D chess while you're playing checkers."
"So he's probably worried that I'm hiding being worried about him," said Nick.
"Which you are," said Nora. "So he's not wrong. But it won't make him more anxious for you to be honest about it. Trust me, I'm a professional worrier."
"I thought you were a safety engineer," said Nick.
"Exactly. Same thing. Remember, crazing is for glass, not people."
Nick looked at Nora blankly. "The whooshing sound was that one going over my head."
"So you know how when glass breaks, there's a dramatic spiderweb of cracks? That's called crazing," explained Nora. "This is why I could never do standup. My jokes are too niche."
Sarah walked into the kitchen with her carrier bags, kissing Nora's temple.
"Hello, loves. Have a good chat?" said Sarah.
"Yeah, we did," said Nick. He pulled out his phone. "Charlie says he'll be over in a few. I think we might go up to the guest room for a little bit, though."
"Good idea. Nora, do you need any help with the roast?"
"If you're willing to be on potato peeling duty," said Nora. She stood up, patting Nick on the shoulder. "Don't be so hard on yourself. It's ok to be soft."
Nick groaned. "I swear engineer puns are worse than dad jokes."
"What turns a pun into a dad joke? When it becomes apparent."
Nick groaned as Nora walked away laughing.