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Toya sat quietly across the table from Akito, who was savoring his freshly made stack of pancakes while Toya’s coffee was being ignored. Akito had generously invited him over to hang out, which was nothing uncommon as they did it on a daily basis, but it was unusual for him and Akito to be alone there as Ena was usually home. His friend was talking about various things, but Toya's mind was somewhere else, with too many thoughts occupying his mind to concentrate on what Akito was saying. Though he heard his name being called in the blur of words, he thought he was imagining it until he shifted his focus and saw Akito leaning up and over the table. He was so close to Akito that he could clearly hear him breathing.
"Hey, partner, were you paying attention?" Akito said it jokingly, but he seemed slightly offended that his partner wasn't paying attention to him. Toya responded by shaking his head and averting his gaze to the floor.
"I'm sorry, I have a lot on my mind... "Could you repeat what you said?" Curious, Akito arched his brows. He was amused and now curious about what was so important that Toya wasn't focusing on him and his presence as a whole.
"What are you thinking?" he questioned as he took his seat and continued his determined journey to eat his pancakes. Toya heard the question but hesitated to respond because it wasn't something Akito would want to hear. — especially since it was about him.
“Nothing too important, just a conversation I had with Tsukasa-senpai a while back. Please don't concern yourself with it, it's trivial.” Toya tried to shift the conversation elsewhere but Akito’s interest was piqued; he wanted to know what business Tsukasa had with Toya this time.
"No, don't worry about it, I'd rather hear what this is about, go on," he said, his smile more like a cunning grin than that of an eager listener. Toya let out a deep sigh, his gaze fixed on the floor once again. He was visibly nervous and contemplating what he should do in this predicament. He couldn't change the subject now, and if he insisted too much, he'd most likely anger Akito, but if he shared the conversation he had with Tsukasa-senpai, he'd be enraged. Toya ultimately opted to accept the risk because it was a lose-lose situation regardless.
"Well, he had invited me to join him and Saki on an outing, and well... I'm sure you've already made plans for us, but Tsukasa-senpai had suggested that we should take some time apart...that we don't have to spend every moment together-" A sudden, abrupt slam interrupted Toya. Akitos slammed his fist onto the tabletop. You could see that the impact had turned his knuckles a vivid red, similar to the color of a cherry. Toya felt he shouldn't finish talking and waited for the ginger to finish since he didn't want to upset him any further. He realized it was a mistake, but that is the cost of being truthful.
Toya loathed lying to Akito. It felt like a sin to hide the truth from his closest friend, and yet he wished he wasn't so honest since incidents like this could have been avoided if he wasn't such a coward. He wished he had the confidence to simply look Akito in the eyes and tell him that nothing was wrong, and for Akito to nod and move on. That, unfortunately, never happens. Akito knew Toya better than Toya could ever know himself. Toya's secrets, interests, favorite things, disliked things, pet peeves, and every other detail that Toya probably didn’t know himself. Even when they were young, it seemed like Akito could predict Toya's actions or words before they had even crossed his thoughts. Hell, he may have become one of those psychics he saw on TV if he hadn't been doing music for BAD DOGS.
"Hey Toya, you didn't think about it, did you? That we should spend some time apart?" Akito's voice was firm, suppressing the bite he so desperately wanted to give at the time. He was trembling. Toya wasn't sure if it was because of the grip his hands had on the table or because of anxiety and dread from the anticipation of Toya’s reply?
"I'm not sure. I don't mind spending time with you, but it would be nice to have other friends to talk to..." Toya drifted away, and he clearly saw Akito take a long breath. That was his warning that he was about to explode. He was correct in his assumption.
“Toya. JUST SAY YOU DON'T NEED ME THEN!" Toya leaped out of his chair as Akito pushed the table violently, knocking the contents off the side of the table. The sound of shattering glass could be heard. Toya stepped back, arms up in feeble defense against the flying debris. His legs were struggling to keep him steady, and his hands were trembling as well. He was terrified of what would happen next, but he wouldn't have much time to worry as Akito ran toward him, catching hold of the front of Toya's sweater and shirt. Akito's strength was enough to lift him slightly off the ground; he could feel a breeze on his abdomen from the spot where his shirt had been raised.
"TOYA, DO YOU HATE ME? WHY LIE AND SAY YOU LOVE ME WHEN YOU'RE ALWAYS READY TO LEAVE?" Akito's scream generated an echo to bounce off the walls, that those outside could probably hear. "PLEASE TOYA, DO YOU NOT LOVE ME? IF YOU LEAVE, I'LL DIE; ARE YOU WILLING TO KILL ME?" All the shouting had made his voice raw, his voice cracked with every other word he cried out, and Toya sat terrified the entire time. He would get more hurt if he said something foolish.
Toya knew Akito didn't mean it because his fuse was short and once lit, it would take forever to simmer out, so the most he could do was endure. That was all he'd ever done, and he was darn good at it, especially given how long he'd lasted with someone like Akito by his side. Yes, he had a few bumps and bruises, but he never bled, and Akito never seemed to intend to shed any blood, at least not on purpose. Akitos' grip tightened out of frustration. Toya was silent, and it appeared to Akito that he was affirming Akito's assumptions.
Akito's grasp slipped by accident, and he dropped Toya, who was unprepared to catch himself. He stumbled back with a loud thud and, after lying there for a moment, groaning, tried to stand up. He had unknowingly fallen upon the glass of the shattered coffee cup from which he had previously drank from. Cool black coffee soaked his back, combining with the flourishing red splotches of his blood. He probably didn't feel it at first because of the adrenaline, But his lip quivered, and the tears he was trying to hold back fell onto the hardwood floor of the kitchen like fresh raindrops. It's not until Toya cries that Akito realizes he fucked up...badly. He rushed to Toya's aid, taking his arm and pulling him up to his feet, wrapping his arm around his shoulder.
“Toya... I'm sorry, are you okay? I didn't really mean to. I honestly didn't-" Akito's tears were now falling. He wasn't thinking clearly, and he didn't want to injure him; he'd only meant to shake Toya up so he wouldn't leave. At the same time, if he apologizes and lets Toya go, he'll find other people to love, and Akito will remain in the foreground of Toya's life (not true, but he's delusional).
He examined Toya's body, looking for all of the open wounds he had noticed when he stood up, and he spun Toya around to assess the extent of the damage he had caused. Toya went to brush himself off, but he winced when he touched a few of his cuts.
"Toya, I… let's just get you cleaned up." Without waiting for his response, he led Toya to the bathroom for some much-needed medical attention. Although he was certain that some needed hospital treatment, he didn't want anybody else touching Toya's body so he’d do the best he could for now. He remembered the mess out in the kitchen too, but he figured he’d deal with that afterwards.
He sat Toya on the closed toilet seat and gently removed his clothes, several gashes visible on his back and the sides of his shoulders down on his forearm. Akito winced just looking, but guilt had begun to creep in as well. He gently pressed around the cuts with the anesthetic and a soft cotton ball, trying not to hurt Toya any further. Of course, the anesthetic gave a sting that made Toya flinch, but it was over quickly, and with Akito lending him a new shirt, they sat on the couch together in a long silence.
Without warning Toya suddenly pulled Akito into a hug, shoving his face into the dip in Akito’s shoulder and crying. Akito, unsure of what to do or say, sat stroking Toya’s soft head of hair. Muffled words could be heard in between the sobs.
"I apologize, Akito. I'm sorry to have upset you. I'm sorry for considering Tsukasa-senpai's words in the first place. I know you care about me. Please forgive me for trying to push you away when all you've done is care for me." Toya wrapped his arms tightly around Akito, despite the fact that his wounds were still sore. But nevertheless, the grip provided Akito with security. How could Toya flee when he's attached to him like that? He eventually hugs back not as tightly but he wraps around Toya enough to prevent an escape (Toya wouldn't let go anyway).
"It's all right, Toya. I know you make stupid decisions and become very gullible at times, but remember that I am the ONLY one who loves you like this. Nobody loves you as much as I do. Understand?” His words were harsh, but Toya’s face flushed.
"I realize Akito, and I appreciate your forgiveness." Toya sinks deeper into the embrace. He must have grown exhausted because he fell asleep in Akito's arms. Akito reclines them both on the couch. Toya is now on top of him, himself acting as a body pillow. He wasn't really tired, so he'd rather watch him sleep for the time being. He felt much better now that Toya was here in HIS arms.He rested his head on the arm of the couch, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. The only sound in the room was the soft breathing of Toya, who was sleeping. When he slept, he made a really cute face and seemed to be at ease. Every few minutes, Toya would mumble sleepily and turn a little, and it made Akito wonder what he was dreaming about. Maybe him? The thought alone made him giddy just thinking about invading Toya's dreams. They'd be together even if they weren't conscious. Even in the realm of dreams, his grip on Toya remained, exactly as Akito preferred. After what seemed like hours, the main door was unlocked, and an accompanying obnoxious voice (in Akito's opinion) could be heard ruining the pair's peace.
"HEYYYYY, AKITO!" WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU? I WANNA SHOW YOU—Oh, there you are—" Ena had returned home with her arms adorned with various bags from the nearby shopping mall outlets. Before she could finish her sentence, Akito pointed to the sleeping Toya and shushed her. She let out a silent gasp and covered her mouth. Knowing Toya was a light sleeper, she began whispering quietly.
"Hey uh… How long has he been here? It's getting late, and you know how strict his parents are." She knelt down to Toya's eye level. She booped the mole under his eye for whatever reason. It was a habit she had that irritated Akito, but because she was his sister, Akito was more forgiving knowing her intentions were not inherently evil. She knew better than to test his limits when it came to Toya.
"I know Ena, you don't have to tell me. When he wakes up, I'll bring him home. I don't give a damn about his parents; he's fine with me." Ena shrugged and turned on her heels toward her room, saying one last thing.
"You know you act like you can't breathe without him anyways seeya i'll show you my haul later. Oh, and let's go out for cheesecake tomorrow!" She bursts out laughing at Akito's frustrated expression and dashes into her room with her many bags. With Ena gone, he focuses on Toya, who is still soundly asleep, his brows twitching. Maybe he’s having a nightmare now. Though what would he have to worry about with Akito here? He’d protect him from everything and anyone, though the one he needed the most protecting from was Akito himself.
Finally, sleep began to take hold of him, and with the soothing sounds of Toya close, his eyes began to close and he was out like a light. Toya was still in his arms, and two of them were breathing in unison. Ena peered out her door realizing she had forgotten one of her bags. She crept over to retrieve her bag observing the sleeping couple at the same time. It was bittersweet in her opinion. She cared for both her brother and Toya, so it was difficult for her to watch their tug of war that was their relationship. She wished the best for both of them, but she also felt that her brother was the absolute worst thing that could have happened to Toya. He truly had her deepest sympathies, and she wished she could help, but Akito was also her brother, her blood, and there was no way Toya could ever be snatched away. His emotional and physical hold on Toya was unbreakable, but she had witnessed their love and knew it was genuine. Nobody could dispute that. Ena snaps out of her thoughts and tiptoes back to her room after covering them with a blanket. She slips back behind her bedroom door with her bag in hand.
Oh, how bittersweet, how bittersweet indeed.