Work Text:
Alexithymia- Inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner
The air between is thick and suffocating. She watches me intensively as I sit on the edge of the bed with a clenched jaw.
I touch the scars on my cheek, it hurts. It's been years but they always hurt, mentally and physically.
"Lin, why didn't you tell me?" She says from behind me. I can't speak. It hurts.
This isn't about the scars any more, it's about the wounds from Suyin and I's fight. Being too damn stubborn to go see a healer has led me here.
I let out a choked sound. My body begins to shake. "What's wrong with me?" I wonder silently, feeling hot tears roll down my cheeks.
A warm but gentle hand touches my back. She's looking at me closer now. This is so embarrassing. I can feel her softly grab the hand clutching my scars. I pull my hand away slowly while my eyes wander over to the grey-haired woman.
She carefully swipes the tears off of my flushed face and wipes them on her red robes.
I wanna speak again, but I can't. What should I say? Maybe it's better if I just stay quiet.
"Lin, you need to talk to me so I can help you my love." The older woman says, rubbing my back comfortingly.
She wants me to speak, but why? What more could I possibly say? Why isn't she upset with me yet?
I can hear her let out a sigh.
Welp, there it is. I wait for her to say something, anything.
She never does.
Instead I feel the warmth of the person beside me leave. Where is she going? Is she leaving me?
The closet door opens, she goes in. After a moment of listening to boxes being moved I finally see her tall figure stand in front of me.
She's holding something out to me. I look up slowly, finally coming face to face with the object she's holding.
It's Mr. Badgermole. My childhood comfort toy.
I reach out to grab him with a shaky hand. I hold him close to my chest. He has an old scent but it's comforting.
The bed dips a bit when she settles down beside me again. I lean into her touch. The words exchanged from our argument are now long in the past.
I wanna speak now, so I do. She smiles as I talk. Feeling too embarrassed to look at her eyes I instead bury my face into her chest.
My chest feels light. There's nothing else to say. All my emotions are spilled and there is nothing to hide.
She gently squeezes me making sure not to cause me any more pain.
"See, releasing your emotions does help." She says before kissing the crown of my head.
At the end it still hurts, but not as much.