Work Text:
1.
Soyeon's ideal kind of day is one where she doesn't have to make conversation with a single stranger.
As a freelance photographer, these don't come by very often. She's gotten better with time and practice, of course; she thinks her smile looks almost genuine nowadays. But it's invariably exhausting, and if she can avoid it, it's a win in her books.
By these standards, today is looking very bad indeed.
"Come on." The man - stranger - in front of her grins charmingly. It could probably be considered quite attractive, if Soyeon either wasn't incredibly gay or hadn’t already told him 'no' twice. "I'll only buy you a coffee, just the one, and you can be on your way. What do you say?"
Soyeon would love to be literally anyone else on this street rushing by right now. She’s worried she’ll sprain a muscle trying to maintain the polite smile on her face. "No thank you," she says, again. "I need to get going."
"Then how about your number?" The man steps in front of Soyeon before she can walk away, and Soyeon has now gone from feeling just annoyed to feeling alarmed and very annoyed.
"I'm really not interested," she says flatly. She's given up on smiling, though that hardly seems to matter to this guy before her.
"Alright, I'll give you my number and you can just contact me when you're free," he says, as if this is a great compromise for Soyeon. "If you could just give me your phone…"
Soyeon feels like she’s about to pop a vein. "Look-"
"There you are!"
Both Soyeon and the man startle when another stranger bounds over - this one a young woman with a friendly round face and long hair bleached a cheerful orange. She throws an arm over Soyeon's shoulders in an awkward half-hug and smiles as if they've known each other for years. "Sorry babe, have you been waiting for long? You know how work gets this time of year."
"Uhm." Soyeon stares up at her, stunned. Then the woman does something complicated with her eyebrows and it clicks with Soyeon what she’s trying to do, and Soyeon scrambles to play along. “Not that long. I wanted to come pick you up but I kinda got held up, so.”
“Aww!” The woman giggles and clutches Soyeon’s arm excitedly. “That’s so sweet! You’re the best.” Even Soyeon can tell that she’s overdoing it a little on the acting, but she’s hardly going to rat this woman out. She only smiles awkwardly while the woman turns towards the man as if she’s only now noticed him for the first time. “I’m sorry, did you need something? We’re kind of about to be late to our anniversary dinner reservation, so…”
The man is looking between the two women in obvious confusion, mouth open. Soyeon decides not to give him the chance.
“He didn’t,” she says firmly. She links her arm through the unfamiliar woman’s and puts on the warmest face she can manage. “Let’s go?”
The woman beams back at her. "Perfect!"
And then they're both speed walking down the street, and Soyeon isn’t really sure who’s pulling who along but it’s working, and she feels the tension leak out of her body the moment they turn a corner and confirm that no one is following.
“Oh my god,” the woman sighs as they slow to a stop. “He was kind of scary, are you okay?” It’s as if her voice has suddenly dropped several octaves now that she’s not acting, and it doesn’t match her cute face at all. Soyeon is a little blindsided by how attractive it is.
“Uhm, yeah” she says, suddenly nervous again. “I’m fine. Thanks. You didn’t need to rescue me.”
“Oh!” The woman looks a little sheepish. “It’s not that I thought you couldn’t handle yourself or… Well. To be honest, you looked about five seconds away from punching that guy in the face. I was kind of worried you’d end up with a record for assault when it was obviously him that deserved it. Unless you already have one?” She suddenly looks alarmed and Soyeon shakes her head.
“No! I don't,” she says quickly. “And I just, uh. I only meant to say that you didn’t need to help me but you did. And that it was... Nice. Of you. To help me. So, thank you.” It is, quite possibly, the worst sentence ever spoken. Soyeon’s face feels hot by the time she’s gotten the words out and she just stares rigidly at the pavement a few metres to the woman’s left. She's never particularly good at making conversation with strangers, but she's not normally this bad either.
Fortunately, the woman doesn’t seem to mind her jumbled words. Her eyes disappear into tiny crescents as she smiles at Soyeon and she is really, very pretty. “I’m glad,” she says, “and you're welcome. You good to get out of here?”
“All good.” Soyeon nods and takes a few steps back, eager to stop embarrassing herself. “Thanks again. Get home safe?”
“You too!” The woman waves cheerfully before she walks off. Soyeon looks dumbly after her back for a few seconds before rushing away in the opposite direction.
If the woman is all she can think about on her way home and after, that's no one's business but her own.
---
“So a pretty girl gets you out of dealing with a douche by pretending to be your girlfriend, and you still didn’t get any details?” Miyeon raises an eyebrow over the rim of her glasses before snorting into her morning coffee. "You really are going to be single forever."
Soyeon scowls at her friend as if she hasn't been berating herself over the exact same thing since last night. "What's wrong with being single?" she asks, surly, and empties yet another packet of cinnamon sugar onto her toast. The waitress looks slightly alarmed as she passes by their table.
"Nothing at all," Miyeon says calmly, "unless you're beating yourself up over it. Like you currently are."
"Shut up," Soyeon mumbles. She already regrets bringing it up at all. "What can I do about it now anyway? I'm never going to see her again."
She believes it too, at the time. In a city of millions, what are the odds?
2.
Although it’s been a good two years since Soyeon graduated university, she sometimes feels like she spends as much time on campus now as she ever did.
It’s for a good cause. After various recommendations from her old teachers she is regularly hired for promotional pictures, graduations and all sorts of official events. The work isn’t particularly exciting but it’s comfortable and the university pays well, which is more than she can say for many other would-be opportunities she’s contacted for. Besides, it leaves her more time to spend on interesting artsy projects that don’t often result in the kind of money that pays rent. She’s managed to get more magazine features recently, perhaps even an exhibition next year if plans work out. Her career is slowly getting somewhere. She can take some plain graduation photos for fellow alumni to sponsor that.
It also helps that the little cafe on campus serves up one of the best hot chocolates Soyeon has ever had anywhere. There's only a few tables, but during class hours it’s quiet enough that Soyeon can squeeze a couple of hours’ work in there while guzzling hot liquid sugar. It’s the little things that give life meaning.
Unfortunately, the cafe is noisy today despite the very few visitors.
Soyeon doesn't really notice it initially. The music on her headphones blasts too loudly to hear much else as she types out her notes on a new project meeting this morning. But the voices cut through the breaks in between songs, and after a while, Soyeon can't keep from looking up in irritation.
Given that it's been nearly two weeks since their very brief meeting, it is almost embarrassing how quickly she recognises those pastel orange curls in front of her.
The young woman is seated on the other end of the cafe with an elderly lady Soyeon doesn't recognise. It's the latter who appears to be responsible for most of the noise; even without taking her headphones off, Soyeon can tell that much.
"But my grandson is very handsome," she very nearly yells, as if her conversation partner isn't seated right in front of her. She shoves her phone so close up to the woman's face that the latter jumps back a little. "Perfect for a pretty girl like you, Yuqi. He is a good boy, you should meet him."
"He seems very nice," the woman says diplomatically, though her smile looks strained. It's a look Soyeon is a little too familiar with; she's worn it herself at nearly every family gathering in this exact situation.
"Very handsome," the lady emphasises. "He has his own business in…"
Soyeon wonders if she should do… something, at least. The young woman - this Yuqi - had been kind enough to help Soyeon when she was in a difficult situation, and it's clear that she's not having a very good time herself right now. But Soyeon doesn't want to overstep any boundaries either. The man in the streets had been an obvious stranger. Soyeon doesn't know what kind of relation this elderly lady is. She doesn't want to make things worse.
It is while she's questioning herself that Yuqi suddenly catches Soyeon's eye, and time seems to freeze for a moment. Her already round eyes widen even further in surprise and even though it's awkward to have been caught staring, Soyeon feels gratified that Yuqi clearly remembers her, too.
Not one to waste time, Soyeon hurries to point a finger at the elderly lady and mouths, 'Help?' as clearly as she can.
It appears to get the point across. Yuqi nods empathetically and makes a gesture that Soyeon can only interpret as Please. Then she quickly returns her gaze to the lady before her as if nothing happened.
Right, then. Soyeon closes her laptop and fidgets with her belongings to try and calm the nervous jitters under her skin. This really isn't something she does, normally. But she's already offered now, and she kind of owes this girl. Better to rip the band-aid off quickly.
Taking a deep breath, Soyeon walks over and puts a hand on Yuqi’s shoulder. "Hey you," she says, a little too high but hopefully flirty. "I almost didn't see you there."
Yuqi rolls with it seamlessly, holding onto Soyeon's hand and smiling as if they've known each other forever. "Hey yourself," she says, and Soyeon really does like that deep voice of hers. "Didn't expect you here today, what's up?"
"Just a last minute meeting." Soyeon shivers lightly as Yuqi traces patterns onto her palm. "But now that I've got you here, I had a few questions about tonight… Do you have a moment?"
Yuqi winks. "For you, always," she says, and it is much too over the top for Soyeon to blush at, surely. Fortunately Yuqi turns back to face the old lady at her table before Soyeon has time to evaluate it further. "I'm sorry, I just need to talk to my girlfriend real quick. I'll be back in just a moment."
A quick look at the lady's face reveals that she's equal parts stunned and offended and probably does mind. Soyeon decides to waste no further time on it. Instead, she tugs her pretend-girlfriend out of her chair and out of the little cafe into the university hallways, until they're far enough out of sight that she feels free to let out the breath she'd been holding.
Yuqi follows suit, then snorts, and soon they're both giggling like a pair of schoolgirls.
"That was great," she says after a few seconds, breathless. "Thanks for doing that, I needed the help."
"Well, I owed you one." Soyeon smiles and rubs the hand Yuqi had been holding earlier a little awkwardly. "That woman was so loud I could hear her over my headphones. I wasn't sure if she was a friend of yours, or…"
"My boss's mother," Yuqi sighs. "He always has me take care of her when she visits since I'm the youngest in the department. She's nice, really, just… not very good at listening. Maybe now she's finally got the picture." She shrugs her long ponytail over her shoulder and grins at Soyeon. "So you work here too, huh? That's a coincidence."
"Only sometimes, as a freelancer," Soyeon says. "I uh, take pictures for official stuff here. Or videos, sometimes. I'm Soyeon, by the way." Her words come out somewhat stilted, but it's a start. Now that she's been given a second chance, she might as well try.
Yuqi's eyes widen slightly. "That's so cool! I'm Yuqi, I'm a research assistant in the linguistics department." The completely unearned admiration on her face makes Soyeon feel rather warm. "Can I see your work somewhere? I used to dabble in photography a little, before I went into languages."
"Uh." Soyeon blinks, a little dazed. "Yeah! Yeah, I share projects on social media when I can and I have a website for portfolio stuff, so… I can give you my details, if you want?"
"I do!" Yuqi smiles widely and fishes for her phone, which she holds out to Soyeon with a wink. "I had no idea my fake girlfriend was so talented. I hope we'll see more of each other around here."
Soyeon very, very much hopes so too.
3.
They do see more of each other, both on campus and off.
This is mainly because Yuqi is one of the most sociable and easy-going people Soyeon has ever met, save perhaps for Miyeon. Where Soyeon often struggles with awkward silences and stilted conversations, Yuqi makes talking to her feel easy and fun. They bond easily over a shared love of photography, similar tastes in music. It's the fastest Soyeon has ever become friends with anyone.
They even agree, jokingly, to be each other's excuse if they need to get away from unwanted attention or probing questions. It's just a fun callback to their first couple of meetings, Soyeon thinks. Something to have on hand should it ever come up.
Except Yuqi uses it quite a lot.
This is… fine, of course. Yuqi is sweet and funny and objectively gorgeous. It's only natural she'd receive plenty of interest. And if she's calling Soyeon often, that means these suitors are unsuccessful, which… Well, Soyeon doesn't know what that means, but she knows she feels better when she thinks about it. She really doesn't mind helping Yuqi. It just makes her wonder if there are also encounters or even dates Yuqi doesn't call her for.
It's a complicated feeling. Soyeon doesn't like it when things are complicated.
"Soyeon, it really isn't complicated," Miyeon tells her patiently. She's perched on the loveseat Soyeon likes to pretend is a proper sofa in Soyeon's living room, legs drawn neatly underneath her. "What it is is silly. "
Soyeon looks startled over the screen of her laptop. "What is?"
"Your arrangement," Miyeon says. "Why are you fake-dating a girl you actually like? Just ask her out for real."
"It's not fake dating, it's just… acting for a couple of minutes once in a while," Soyeon says defensively. "We help each other out. And we only really started talking like a week ago, Miyeon." Her voice sounds petulant to her own ears, but it's still true. Even if they get along great so far, she doesn’t know Yuqi that well yet. It's a kind of uncertainty that Soyeon always finds difficult to deal with.
Miyeon smiles gently as if she's read her mind. They've been friends for so long that she probably has. "It's been about two, actually," she says, ever good-natured. "I know, because it's all you've talked about ever since. It's still okay to like her even if you've only known her a little while, you know? And she seems to like you too. It sounds like you're just making things difficult for yourselves."
"We aren't." Soyeon drags a set of photographs into the bin at the bottom of her screen with determined finality. "Things are fine! We're friends. Anyway, I don't even know if Yuqi’s into women."
Miyeon looks perplexed at that. "Why on earth would she make her life more difficult by introducing a girlfriend at her workplace if she wasn't?" she asks, wrapping her woolly cardigan closer around herself. "You should know as well as anyone how rough that can get. I may not know this girl but I know she can't be straight."
Hearing it spoken aloud now, it does sound illogical. Soyeon’s shoulders suddenly feel a little lighter. Even so, she keeps her eyes firmly on the laptop as she taps around her editing software. "It doesn't change anything," she insists.
And that's the end of the discussion.
---
The thing is, it isn’t only awkward situations that Yuqi brings up their agreement for.
Soyeon herself finds this out when she turns up to a pottery workshop that Yuqi had talked her into taking together, and the first thing Yuqi does after saying hello is to latch onto her side and hold her hand like her life depends on it.
"Um," says Soyeon. She looks at Yuqi apprehensively. "What's up?"
Yuqi gives her a strained smile. "So I may not have paid much attention when I was looking this up and this might be their couple's night special," she whispers through clenched teeth. To her credit, she does look embarrassed. "So uh, if you wouldn’t mind… I'm sorry?"
Soyeon feels her shoulders tense up further. "You couldn’t have mentioned that earlier?" she whispers back, a little hurt. "Is that the reason you asked me to come? Because -"
"No, no!" Yuqi rushes to interrupt. They get a few looks and she quickly lowers her voice again. "I asked you because this is something I've been wanting to do for ages and you're super creative and talented and I thought it would be fun to do this with you. I didn't realise why I could only book for two people until I got here or I would have asked you first, I swear. I'm really sorry."
No human being should be able to look quite so much like a kicked puppy. Soyeon can’t help but melt at those eyes.
"Okay, fine," she sighs. "I suppose it doesn't make much of a difference anyway."
Yuqi beams at her. "It'll be the same as it would have been otherwise," she promises. "Which is to say, fun! We're naturally believable as a couple anyway, we won’t even have to think about it unless someone asks. It's no big deal."
Soyeon has to ignore the way her heart skips several beats. "Right. No big deal."
And it shouldn't be, really.
Except now Soyeon knows that they're surrounded by couples on dates, and everyone thinks they're a couple, and it feels like a date even though it isn't. Yuqi is adorably excited about everything, her eyes shining every time she smiles at Soyeon, and Soyeon can't look away from her. She wants to take a million pictures so she can keep looking forever.
They end up missing half the instructions because they're too busy talking about everything and nothing at all and it is, frankly, a bit of a disaster. They even do the horrible cliché of holding each other's hands while shaping the clay in an attempt to save their vases. Both of them still end up looking terrible, but it's worth it for the laughter and Soyeon already knows she is going to treasure that monstrosity.
It shouldn't be a big deal, but it feels like it is. It feels real.
Soyeon thinks she might want it to be real.
She hates it when Miyeon's right.
4.
There's a lot Soyeon could do with this newfound acceptance of her feelings for Yuqi. Healthy progressive things, such as asking Yuqi out on a real date, or confessing to her directly, or at least testing the waters to see if Yuqi might reciprocate.
Asking Yuqi to be Soyeon's fake date to her aunt's annual Christmas party should not make the list.
It's what Soyeon does anyway.
In her defence, these family gatherings are easily the events Soyeon dreads most each year, even including the networking parties she has no choice but to attend from time to time. She isn't close to her relatives outside of her parents, and any time spent with her extended family quickly reminds her of why that is. Soyeon can’t handle stressing over both her family and her potential rejection by Yuqi at the same time. She just can’t.
"Not that it's any of my business, but if you hate it this much, why are you going?" Yuqi asks her on the way there, not unfairly. "Also, isn't your family Buddhist?"
"My parents really want to keep up good relations," Soyeon sighs. She fidgets with the cuffs of her fancy coat nervously. "And we are. My aunt just enjoys an excuse to show off. She… has a little more money than we do."
Yuqi whistles lowly as they walk up the driveway of what is all but a mansion by city standards. "No kidding."
Soyeon takes a deep breath, tries to calm down and slips her hand into Yuqi's. "Thanks for doing this," she says, eyes on the door in front of them. "And I'm sorry if things get a little… dramatic."
Yuqi squeezes her hand with a smile. "I like a little drama," she whispers, and Soyeon's heart races all over again.
---
The one good thing about the night is that Soyeon's parents genuinely seem to like Yuqi.
It's slightly nerve-wracking, given that it's the first time Soyeon has ever brought anyone to meet them. The fact that Yuqi is not actually her girlfriend is a bit of a downer, but she plays her part with charming enthusiasm, and it's clear that any initial apprehension Soyeon's parents had melts almost instantly. Soyeon can’t blame them. Yuqi is just that lovable.
The rest of the family hadn't previously realised Soyeon is gay and are a little less enthusiastic.
This much was expected, of course. It's the main reason Soyeon asked Yuqi to come in the first place, although the moral support is also welcome. Every event Soyeon attends she is bombarded with prying questions about her single status, shown endless pictures of men her relatives deem appropriate to date even when she's explicitly said she's not interested. If they won't listen to her words, perhaps a visual demonstration will help things along. Soyeon is tired of pretending.
Also, the scandalised look on many of her aunt's friends' faces whenever Yuqi holds her hand or leans close are pretty funny.
"I see you also dye your hair," her aunt says, disdainfully looking Yuqi over. "It looks better than Soyeon's, at least. Not as dry. Why did you cut it short again, Soyeon? It was finally getting a little longer."
Soyeon's smile is not even the slightest bit genuine. "It broke off after all the bleaching," she says, and decides to enjoy the appalled look on her aunt's face.
"I think it looks adorable like this," Yuqi says brightly, brushing her fingers against the tips of Soyeon's hair over her shoulders.
Soyeon blushes about fifty shades of red and tries to hide her face behind her wine glass.
Yuqi is truly the star of the evening. Even though it's clear no one is particularly happy she's there, people can't stop drawing in closer. She files backhanded questions with such disarming charm that many a relative actually looks ashamed, and expertly keeps their attention from staying on Soyeon for too long. Soyeon spends a lot of the night looking embarrassingly lovestruck, but they are supposed to be dating, so that's probably fine.
"Oh, you work at that university?" one of her cousins says. "Soyeon, didn't you use to study there?"
Soyeon only nods, sipping at her wine. She's had quite a lot of it at this point. She should probably slow down a little. Yuqi is starting to look worried.
"Might as well not have," another aunt sighs, shaking her head. "Four years and all that money wasted on a degree you don't use. You could have had a real job going into finance, you know."
"I have a real job right now," Soyeon says irritably. "One that doesn't make me miserable. I don't suppose that part matters?"
"It's really brave to chase your dream career even after all that," Yuqi adds quickly, giving the aunt a bright smile. "She's got real talent too! You should come to her photo exhibition in the spring. There's a lot of interest already, some big names are coming."
Frankly, the last thing Soyeon wants is any family other than her parents at her hard-earned exhibition next year. But she can also see the way her aunt mellows slightly at the words, and that's already more than she's ever achieved.
Yuqi really is a godsend.
---
When Soyeon really can't take it anymore, she pulls Yuqi away to escape the crowd and hide in the storage room behind the kitchen. It's a familiar hideout at this point, but for the first time, she’s not in here on her own. It's… kind of nice. She's exhausted and more than a little tipsy, but it isn't a terrible feeling.
Across from her, Yuqi looks amused. Soyeon kicks at her half-heartedly. "I want to go home," she whines, too drunk to be embarrassed.
Yuqi laughs softly. "We should probably at least wait until dinner is over," she says. "But your family is definitely… a lot. Are they always like that?"
"Always." Soyeon pouts and leans back against the shelves behind her. "Can we at least stay here until dinner is done? I'm tired."
"I can see that," Yuqi smiles. She looks around the small room curiously. "Are we even supposed to be in here?"
Soyeon shrugs in a way that she hopes conveys 'no, but I'm still staying'.
Yuqi chuckles, but she doesn't say anything else and doesn't try to leave. Soyeon counts it as a win.
"Thank you for tonight," she says quietly, after a few moments. "You're a really good fake girlfriend. I think some of my family might have ended up liking you against their will."
Yuqi's eyes on her are so, so warm. "You make it easy," she says, and… Soyeon feels like that means something. It means something but her brain is just a little too hazy with alcohol, and Yuqi is just a little too close, and Soyeon can't quite grasp onto it. She can only stare at Yuqi, and watch Yuqi look back at her.
The moment is interrupted by footsteps approaching down the hallway.
"Shit." Soyeon looks at the door left slightly ajar, the light clearly spilling into the much darker hall. She turns back to Yuqi in mild panic. "I'm not going back out there."
Yuqi looks equally nervous at the idea of being caught here, in the storage room of a near-stranger's home. "Then what do we do?" she whispers back.
Honestly, Soyeon should not be left to make decisions right now. Somewhere in the back of her head, a voice is trying to tell her this is a bad idea. But that feels very far away and the problem is very close, so.
She kisses Yuqi.
The thought behind this is that surely whoever it is that's come to find them will be sufficiently appalled to back out and leave them alone. Soyeon knows she would be, in their place.
But any thoughts at all are quickly blown away by how it feels to kiss Yuqi. The surprised gasp of breath against Soyeon's mouth, the slight tremor of her shoulders underneath Soyeon's hands. Soyeon has spent perhaps a little too much time imagining what kissing Yuqi would be like, but none of it compares to the feeling of it now. It is all too easy to get lost in the soft slide of Yuqi's lips against her own and so Soyeon does, for a while.
Until it suddenly hits her that Yuqi is kissing her back. Yuqi's arm is around her waist and Yuqi’s hand is cradling her jaw ever so carefully and she is leaning down so that Soyeon doesn't have to tiptoe on her already too-high heels, and Soyeon is so blown away by the realisation of it all that she kind of forgets to participate.
And just like that, it's over.
Yuqi breaks away quickly, her face an impressive shade of red even under the poor light. "Uhm," she says, several octaves higher than usual. She clears her throat and tries again. "I think they're gone now."
Soyeon nods wordlessly. She doesn't quite trust herself to speak right now. Standing upright after all that is already quite a challenge.
Yuqi studies her face for a moment, then lets out a slightly breathless laugh. "So much for that high alcohol tolerance of yours, huh?" she says, which, ouch, definitely mean. "We should really get you home soon. Let's give it a few more minutes and we can leave."
"My alcohol tolerance is good," Soyeon grumbles, even as she sinks down to sit on the floor. Just for a moment, to prepare for going outside.
Yuqi follows suit with an amused expression. "Of course," she says placatingly. "Now if you just stay there, I'll go find our coats, alright?"
"Alright," Soyeon says meekly, and watches Yuqi’s eyes disappear into little crescents before she gets up again.
Thinking over everything that's just happened will be a problem for sober Soyeon to deal with, she decides. Drunk Soyeon will just sit here as she's been told, and think of nothing but that pretty smile until Yuqi comes back.
5.
Sober Soyeon does have a lot of thoughts. So many that she spends the first hour after waking up next morning simply staring at the ceiling in what can only be described as paralysing embarrassment.
What she lacks, unfortunately, is the time to do much with any of them other than beat herself over the head. The end of the year comes with a great many deadlines, and if Soyeon hopes to meet them all then she has no time to waste on anything that isn't directly work-related. All she can do during the last days of December is rush between shoots and edits and meetings.
It's a good sign, really. It's just… personally inconvenient.
Yuqi seems to understand and support her situation completely. Which is great, of course. Soyeon feels warm inside whenever she receives encouraging texts or even just small updates on Yuqi’s day as she goes about her business. But Yuqi also hasn't mentioned a single thing about the Christmas party, and it's increasing Soyeon's anxiety by about tenfold. Is it because she respects Soyeon's lack of time right now and doesn't want to distract her? Is it because she thinks it's something they should talk about in person rather than through text? Is it because the kiss didn't mean anything to her at all and she hasn't even thought about it since?
Soyeon hasn't exactly said anything about their moment herself either, but. Still.
It seems incredibly unfair that her first chance to see Yuqi again after Christmas is at another party. One that if it was up to Soyeon, she wouldn't even go to. But it's a work party, organised especially for university staff after work on New Year's eve, which Soyeon has been invited to with special honours despite being a technical outsider. Soyeon doesn't have much of a choice.
Yuqi texts her about it a few days in advance, ever thoughtful. [Shall we go together again?] she writes. [Nothing too serious but just in case. Avoid the hassle around the whole midnight thing.]
Soyeon is tempted to ask what she means by that exactly, but then decides that that's a little too petty when she knows perfectly well. Also, she's a coward.
[Sounds good!] is all she sends back in the end.
She's probably doomed.
---
Honestly, it all isn't as bad as it could've been. The university's event hall is spacious enough that Soyeon doesn't feel claustrophobic, and she at least knows and likes some of the people there. Even Miyeon is present, invited in advance of the teaching position she'll start there next month. They head over together since Yuqi’s stuck working late, and it's… nice, as these things go.
The look Miyeon gives Soyeon when she hears about her agreement with Yuqi is definitely judgemental, but she still gives Soyeon a comforting hug and a thumbs up before wandering off to introduce herself to future colleagues. Lovely Miyeon. It's probably good that Soyeon hasn’t told her anything about her aunt's Christmas party.
Yuqi is still nowhere in sight, but two unfamiliar women descend on Soyeon almost as soon as Miyeon has left.
"Hi!" The tallest of the two smiles, dazzlingly bright even underneath her long fringe. "You're Soyeon, right?"
"Um," Soyeon says, alarmed. "Yes?"
The tall girl seems to notice, because she immediately holds herself back a little. "Yuqi's a close friend of ours," she explains. "I'm Minnie, this is Shuhua. We've… kind of heard a lot about you. It's great to finally meet you!"
Soyeon's mouth forms a little 'o'. Now that she hears the names, they do sound familiar. She's heard Yuqi mention them often enough, vaguely recognises them from Yuqi’s socials. She wonders, a little nervously, what Yuqi has told them about her in return.
Either way, she'd like to make a good impression now. "It's nice to meet you too." Soyeon smiles, bowing her head politely. "Yuqi forgot to tell me you were also colleagues, I had no idea."
"I'm her senior in linguistics," Minnie says proudly, "not that she shows much respect. And technically Shuhua here is still finishing her degree, but she does some part time work for the international office, so we figured that counts."
It’s funny, Soyeon thinks, how even though Yuqi and Minnie look nothing alike they feel similar, just a little bit. Shuhua, on the other hand, looks kind of awkward half-hidden behind Minnie. Soyeon feels comforted knowing that she isn't the only shy person here.
"Well," she says lightly, "I'm here and I'm not even on the payroll, so… I'd say it definitely does.”
"Exactly!" Minnie pats Shuhua on the shoulder, and Soyeon is happy to see the girl looks a little relieved. "Anyway, Yuqi was just wrapping up when we left earlier, so she shouldn't be much longer. Thank you for putting up with her. She can be a lot."
Soyeon blinks in surprise. "Oh, no-"
"What she means," Shuhua interrupts, "is that Yuqi’s an idiot. But she's also our idiot, so." She fidgets as if she's nervous, but the look she gives Soyeon is surprisingly intense. "You should be nice to her. She means well."
Soyeon shrinks back on instinct. "I, uhm. Thanks?" That felt more like a threat than advice. Now she really worries about what Yuqi has told them about her.
Thankfully, Shuhua seems satisfied. Her eyes flick over Soyeon's shoulder and away from her. "Your friend," she says suddenly. "The pretty girl, where did she go?"
Soyeon is starting to feel very lost in this conversation. "Who? Miyeon?" She looks bewildered in the direction Miyeon had left in. "She went to meet her new colleagues…"
"I see," is all Shuhua says, staring in the same direction with laser focus.
Minnie looks visibly embarrassed. "We'll go introduce ourselves," she sighs, tugging on Shuhua's arm. The smile she gives Soyeon is no less bright for it. "I hope we'll speak more later!"
"Me too," Soyeon says faintly. She thinks she means it, too. But perhaps a small break first wouldn't hurt.
---
She doesn't get much of one. It is barely five minutes later that Yuqi manifests in the corner Soyeon has hidden herself away in and links an arm through hers with a cheeky grin.
"Miss me?" she asks, all fake innocence.
Soyeon just can't resist. "It was actually quite peaceful."
Yuqi gasps dramatically and clasps her hands against her chest in mock hurt. It’s plain that she isn’t upset, but the action does move her away from Soyeon, and Soyeon finds herself unreasonably disappointed when she doesn’t close the distance between the two of them again. It’s silly. It’s her own fault to begin with.
"I met two of your friends just now," she says quickly, to distract them both. “Minnie and Shuhua? They seem nice.”
Yuqi’s face lights up. It's a little adorable. “Did you? I’d been meaning to introduce you guys! They're really great, I think you'd get along. We've been friends for ages, ever since…"
It speaks a lot to how far gone Soyeon is that even though her social battery is running low, she hangs onto every word.
They end up sticking together from that moment on. Yuqi tows her around the venue for a little bit to greet both Soyeon's colleagues and her own, stopping by each one to make polite small talk with all her usual skill. But for most of the evening, they hang around both of their friends. Miyeon says nothing weird to Yuqi, which Soyeon is thankful for, and the two hit it off almost instantly. Minnie and Shuhua are as friendly as Yuqi described them and Soyeon finds herself enjoying their company now that the awkward introductions are out of the way. They do both seem oddly fixated on Miyeon, but Miyeon takes it all in stride with her usual good cheer. Soyeon decides that she doesn't want to know.
Yuqi is as warm and attentive as always, and yet she feels a little more distant. She hovers by Soyeon's side persistently, but always leaves a polite personal bubble. She'll lightly touch Soyeon to get her attention, but never lingers longer than a second. It's a stark contrast to her behaviour at the Christmas party. Soyeon reasons that they'd agreed this wouldn't be as serious, that they're mostly in the company of their friends who know the truth anyway, but it still eats away at her. Perhaps Yuqi really doesn't think anything special of her.
Nearly two hours into the party, Soyeon escapes. An unlocked classroom down the hall offers a welcome refuge from the noise and crowds, and she breathes out slowly in relief as she slumps over on one of the desks. She feels much more herself in the quiet.
She's just considering texting Yuqi and Miyeon an excuse to head home when there's a knock on the door.
"Hey." Yuqi's voice is soft as she pokes her head inside the room. "Are you okay?"
Soyeon can't help but smile at the genuine concern on Yuqi’s face. "Of course," she says. "I was just thinking of going home, is all."
Yuqi smiles back at her, quietly closing the door behind herself. "I'm sorry this was the first time and place we could meet," she says. "I know you don’t love parties. It must've been quite a few weeks for you."
"Was it your fault I took on so many projects?" Soyeon teases. "It's okay, Yuqi. It's on me for not having time sooner."
Yuqi laughs quietly at that. She leans against the desk Soyeon is sitting on and nudges Soyeon's shoulder with her own. "Well, I'm glad I can see you now."
Soyeon can feel the warmth flooding up her neck. It's so lovely, this feeling, but it also makes her heart ache. Even just the last few hours have been an emotional rollercoaster. The thought of days or weeks more of the same is exhausting.
She's tired.
"Let's stop, Yuqi." She forces herself to look up, meeting Yuqi’s eyes. "The whole pretending to date thing. I can't do it anymore. Let's stop here."
Yuqi looks back at her in shocked silence, and Soyeon realises she may have skipped a few important details.
"Not because of you," she adds quickly. "You didn’t do anything wrong, you're perfect, you… it's just too complicated. I'm lying to everyone all the time, even to you and to myself. It's just too much, you know?"
"Okay…" Yuqi nods slowly. She still looks a little upset, but confusion seems to be winning out. "What are you lying about?"
And, this is it. Soyeon chews her lip nervously, but she's determined to push on. She's already decided that she doesn't want to go on as they were and be anxious all the time. She might as well go for it.
"About our relationship," she says, "to everyone, of course. But also… about what I want it to be, to myself and to you. About what I want us to be. About how I feel about you."
Her words are quiet, but they still hang heavy in the silence.
Yuqi’s expression is difficult to read, especially in the darkness. "Alright," she says, and Soyeon thinks her voice is huskier than usual. "Then… What if we weren't pretending? What if you didn’t have to lie, because it was real?"
If Soyeon felt warm before, she feels as if she's burning up now. "Do you want it to be real?" she asks, ever cautious. The hopefulness in her voice is poorly disguised but, well. She's allowed.
Yuqi laughs under her breath. She is very, very close now, Soyeon's brain notes helpfully. "I would actually like that very much," she murmurs.
"Oh." It's difficult to look Yuqi in the eye from so close by. Soyeon finds it quite a pleasant problem to have. "I would like that very much too."
She's barely finished speaking before Yuqi closes the last bit of distance between them, kissing her with so much enthusiasm that Soyeon nearly falls back over the desk.
Soyeon still ends up going home early that night, but that's okay.
She isn't the only one.
+1
When Soyeon wakes up the next morning, the sun is already up high. She grumbles at the light hitting her square between the eyes and tries to roll out of the way, sluggishly patting the sheets to make sure she avoids a collision.
The other side of the bed is empty.
Soyeon jolts upright. A quick look down at herself confirms that last night was definitely no dream, so... Why is she here alone right now? She jumps out of bed, pulling the duvet up with her like a cape, and rushes into the living room.
There, Yuqi is bent intently over the little stove. She looks up startled when Soyeon bursts through the door, but her face soon breaks into a rueful smile.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" she says. "I was really trying to be quiet, but I guess it's not my strong suit."
Soyeon blinks at her stupidly for a few seconds. She pulls the duvet a little tighter around herself, trying to simultaneously process both the intense relief and embarrassment from the last few seconds. "It's okay," she stammers. "The sun was in my eyes anyway. Are you cooking?"
Yuqi nods and turns back to the stove. "It was going to be a surprise," she sighs. She's wearing one of Soyeon's oversized hoodies and joggers, Soyeon notices with a thrill, although the way the bottoms don't even reach Yuqi’s ankles hurts her pride a little.
"It still is," she says, shuffling closer to peek along. "Did I really have all of this around the house? I didn't even know."
Yuqi laughs as she pours her egg mixture into one of the pans. "It was a challenge," she admits. "I know you don’t eat veggies, but why isn't there much of anything else in your fridge either? What do you even eat normally? Anyway..." She puts her spatula down and looks Soyeon over. "I'm almost done here. Go get ready?"
It's faint enough that Soyeon almost misses it, but the pink dusting Yuqi’s cheeks is still unmistakable.
Soyeon grins. Her hold on the duvet loosens just a little as she looks down at herself. "This isn't ready enough for you?"
Yuqi definitely looks flustered now. "I meant, go wash up and get dressed," she huffs, looking back at the stove petulantly. It is definitely adorable. Soyeon wants to see more of it.
"But weren't you the one who got me undressed in the first place?" she asks innocently. The duvet now sits dangerously low on her shoulders.
Although Yuqi's face is red up to her ears, she snorts out a laugh at that. "And I'll gladly help you with that again later, but for now, let's eat breakfast without worrying about grease stains in unfortunate places, okay?" She bundles Soyeon snugly back up in the duvet and presses a firm kiss to her mouth before shoving her towards the bedroom. "Put some clothes on, Jeon Soyeon!"
Soyeon cackles even as she obediently shuffles back into her room.
However fun it is to tease Yuqi, the thought of Yuqi putting all that effort into cooking her breakfast sets off butterflies in her stomach. Actually, just the thought of Yuqi being here is thrilling. She absently roots through the clothes on the floor and picks up the now-rumpled shirt Yuqi had worn last night. Since Yuqi took her favourite hoodie, she surely won't mind.
When she looks in the mirror, her own face is no less red than Yuqi’s at all.
---
By the time Soyeon wanders back into the living room, her tiny kitchen table has been set so nicely that she barely recognises it. There's a variety of Soyeon's favourite meat and egg dishes carefully plated on tableware that Soyeon had forgotten she owned, alongside toasted bread and rice.
Next to it all stands Yuqi, looking genuinely nervous. "First test as your real girlfriend," she says. "How did I do?"
Soyeon's heart melts. "Wow," is all she manages in response.
Breakfast tastes as good as it looks. Soyeon would have loved it either way for all the effort Yuqi put in, but Yuqi clearly has some skill as a cook. She watches Soyeon like a hawk as she tries out various dishes, only relaxing enough to start eating herself once she's confident Soyeon looks happy. It's adorable. Soyeon wants to kiss her again.
"I can't believe I've been missing out on this the whole time you were only pretending to date me," she grumbles, stuffing another egg roll into her mouth.
Yuqi shrugs. "I told you I'm a good chef," she says smugly, as if she hadn't been anxious about her food just a handful of minutes ago. "You should've confessed to me sooner."
"You always say you're good at everything." Soyeon rolls her eyes, but then lowers them to the table. "And… I wasn't sure you really liked me? It threw me off when you suggested we just pretend to be a couple whenever it was convenient. I guess I was scared of ruining it."
Yuqi looks a little guilty. "It was kind of a stupid idea," she admits. "I guess I thought… Well, I probably wasn't thinking. It just kind of happened. You were just so cool! And I didn't want to hit on you after you'd just gotten away from that weirdo and look like a creep."
It's a surprisingly sweet and considerate thought, but Soyeon’s ears perk up at a different part of the admission. "You thought I was cool?"
"Very cool!" Yuqi gestures wildly with her hands before picking up more grilled meat. "You're this super professional, talented photographer who built up a career from nothing in no time. It’s actually pretty intimidating, you know? It was only after we got to know each other better that I realised you just use that serious expression to hide how cute you really are."
Soyeon flushes red at that. "I am not cute," she protests. Whatever happened to cool from just now?
Yuqi's eyes twinkle in a way that Soyeon knows means trouble. "You're adorable, Jeon Soyeon. You are the cutest person alive and I will never let you forget it."
"That's - well!" Soyeon scoffs and picks at her food, thoroughly flustered. "Well. If you thought so, why didn't you tell me?"
"It just never really seemed like the right time, I guess." Yuqi taps her finger against her chin in thought. "It's not like I was sure of how you felt either, you know? I really wanted to at your aunt's party, especially after you kissed me, but you were so drunk. It wouldn't have been right. And then you didn’t bring it up at all after that and I got cold feet…"
"You didn’t bring it up after," Soyeon says, exasperated.
"Well, maybe we both need to improve our communication a little." Yuqi smiles and reaches out to cover her hand over Soyeon's. "We'll work on it together. I think we've taken a few good steps so far, don't you?"
Soyeon flips her hand over without thought and Yuqi’s fingers curl around hers immediately. She can't help but smile back. "It's not bad," she admits. "Your cooking helps."
Yuqi’s eyes crinkle. "Good," she says. She squeezes Soyeon's hand for a moment and then lets go, pushing her chair back. "Do you have some empty containers? We can keep the leftovers for later."
"Just above the microwave," Soyeon says immediately. "You can leave the dishes out, I'll do the washing up. It's only fair."
"I won't say no to that," Yuqi says amiably.
She still helps to stack all the bowls and plates by the sink after she's packaged up the remaining food. Soyeon has to shoo her away before she starts rinsing them as well. "Should we go out to eat rice cake soup later for lunch? It is New Year's day…"
Soyeon thinks about it for a moment, checking the temperature of the soapy water before dunking the coffee cups under. "We could," she says slowly. "Or… we could order in? I have a lot of points saved up for delivery…" She doesn't want to say she's too tired to go out; she'll do it if Yuqi really wants to. But after the party yesterday and a hectic week, she would personally love to not see anyone else for the full weekend.
Yuqi laughs like she's seen right through her. "I love it," she declares, wrapping her arms around Soyeon's waist and resting her head on her shoulder. Soyeon nearly drops the plate she's washing. "We can huddle on that tiny sofa of yours, maybe watch that movie you've been talking about?"
Soyeon's heartbeat is obnoxiously loud, but it isn't a bad feeling. She smiles. "Sounds perfect." She turns her head back to press her lips against Yuqi’s, soft and sweet, before returning to the dishes. "You should go take a shower," she says lightly. "You smell like grease."
Yuqi chuckles, but her arms around Soyeon's waist only tighten. "I think we should save water and shower together," she murmurs, her voice low against Soyeon's ear. "Didn't I promise I'd help you get out of those clothes again?"
If her heartbeat was fast before, Soyeon now feels like it might explode out of her chest. She clears her throat, tries to compose herself and digs an elbow into Yuqi's stomach. "If you're going to wait for me, at least pick up a towel and make yourself useful," she grumbles.
It sounds half-hearted even to her own ears but Yuqi still dutifully obliges. She squeezes Soyeon firmly once before detaching herself, grin stretching from ear to ear.
Soyeon spends a moment simply watching as Yuqi dries off the clean dishes, then slowly returns to her own work. Her heart feels like it's overflowing. She wonders how long it's going to take her to get used to feeling like this around Yuqi, but for once, she thinks she wouldn't mind if it took a while.
It wouldn't be bad if it took the rest of her life.