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Kurogiri couldn’t say if he was alive or not.
He simply… drifted, between the concept of life and death. Balanced on a tightrope with a pit of emptiness trying to consume his very existence always a few steps behind. If he could describe how it felt, he would say it was.. like static, like your mind was numbed to the point that you couldn’t even tell if you were really awake anymore. Couldn’t tell if this was what being dead truly felt like.
He had always felt like this, with the only exceptions being those few, precious moments of clarity. Like taking in a deep breath of air after being submerged, drowning, for so long.
And in those few moments, he knew that he knew his name.
His real one, not the one his master had given him, but one that he was given to him by someone important, someone he loved. Even if he didn’t know what love was. He also saw things, things from before, just little glimpses of black hair and bright smiles, breathtaking sunsets on rooftops..
Then they were all swallowed by the tide, and he was Kurogiri once more.
Kurogiri had jobs, duties, chores. He had had them for as long as he could remember, since his master had woken him up, since he had gotten his name. After that, he had been led to a door, to a child with light blue hair and striking red eyes, and told to protect him no matter the cost. His master deemed this child important, and so he became Kurogiri’s entire world.
Tenko Shimura was a small, timid boy. He was silent, stared at walls for hours and wept, not wanting to do anything more than simply exist, as though that task was almost too much to bear. For some reason, Kurogiri wanted Tenko to stop crying, wanted him to smile. That wasn’t part of his task, his goal, there was no reason for him to make Tenko smile. And yet, he tried anyway.
He started with trying to get the boy to do anything other than stare at the wall. It seemed simple enough, in concept, but was proving rather difficult in practice. He tried to start with a simple conversation, but that proved fruitless. The boy didn’t react to his voice at all, and when Kurogiri tried to touch him he flinched back so violently he thought he had broken the poor boy.
Kurogiri didn’t know what to do, and wasn't told what to do in a situation like this. Because you weren’t told to do this. His master’s voice echoed in his head. This wasn’t an order, wasn’t an order, orderorder order–
“Who… Who are you?” Kurogiri’s focus snapped to the small boy in front of him, who was rubbing at his puffy eyes as he uncurled from the defensive position he had taken. He looked… scared. Kurogiri didn’t really understand what scared was.
“I am Kurogiri.” That was easy, he knew the answer to that question. He was Kurogiri, he was told to protect this child, and there was nothing more to it than that. But the way Tenko looked at him– confusion, he believed was the word– seemed to indicate otherwise. “I am here to take care of you.” Care? What was care? Was it the same as protect? What were these words that kept spilling from his mind?
Tenko seemed to take a minute, scratching his arms idly, then looked back up to Kurogiri. “Okay.” He said, and turned to the wall, his eyes glazing over once more.
Kurogiri couldn’t help but sigh. This was going to be a lot harder than he expected.
–
It was, in fact, hard.
Tenko Tomura, his name was Tomura –snapped out of his daze after about a week, when Kurogiri ended up getting him a game to keep his mind stimulated. He looked at the screen in awe, and seemed to disappear into it, but it was better than the staring and silent tears.
When he finished, about a week later, Ten– Tomura told him all about what happened. About a small green knight who wielded a magical sword to destroy an ancient evil and save the princess. Though he didn’t quite understand it all, from the way Tenko’s eyes lit up when he talked about it, Kurogiri was happy to listen to the boy ramble on.
So, Kurogiri ended up getting Te–Tomura more little games like that. He could open up little warp gates in stores, and take the smaller, cheaper items relatively unnoticed. It always made the boy happy to have something to take away the oppressive silence of the bleach-white room.
But Kurogiri wasn’t so happy with the… more creative ideas Tenko was coming up with to alleviate his agitation from being in such a small room for so long. He ended up unscrewing the bolts on the rafters with a small metal pen and climbing through the vents. It gave Kurogiri a heart attack when he came back just to see the boy had gone. It was his mission to care– protect–the boy no matter the cost. And as he stared at the empty white room, he froze.
It was his orders he had to protect him had to protect Tomura Shigaraki he failed he failedfailed failed–
A small giggle echoed throughout the room, the tinny dissonance creating an eerie echo to the laughter. It snapped Kurogiri out of his head as he stepped into the room, trying to find the source of the noise.
That was when he noticed the vent, left wide open, and a head of fluffy blue hair just at the lip. When he crouched down, he saw bright red eyes and a wide, painful-looking smile on Tenko’s lips. “Kuro, it’s like a whole new world here! I can go all over the base in this place!”
“Young Te–Tomura, it is not wise to play in the ventilation system, it is very dangerous.” The boy pouted at the words, but then he grinned.
“If you want me out of here so bad, then you’ll have to catch me!” And then he was gone, the sounds of laughter and footsteps reverberating through the room. Kurogiri sighed, getting ready to open up a portal below his charge’s feet, but then stopped.
What was the harm in letting him laugh just a little longer?
–
Tenko was crying when Kurogiri found him.
He had locked himself in the bathroom, refusing to come out, so Kurogiri had warped inside when he realised that the boy wouldn’t be letting him in any time soon. He really was pointlessly stubborn at times.
Kurogiri found Tenko curled up beneath the sink, head buried beneath his knees. He let out a few hiccoughs, but otherwise stayed silent. Kurogiri was at a loss for what to do, wasn’t told what to do in a situation like this– Protect him, you have to protect him– and ended up sitting beside Te–Tomura until the shaking in his shoulders eased.
“Are you alright, young Tomura?” All he got was a small shake of the boy’s head, and so he waited, knowing that the words would come spilling out eventually.
And they did, 15 minutes later. “... Am I a monster?” Tenko whispered, voice wavering.
“Why would you think that?” It was a pointless question, he knew exactly why. Had seen his master whisper into Tomura’s ear, about how he wasn’t able to leave because people wouldn't understand him, would try to hurt him because of his power. That people would blame him for all bad things, that his quirk was too dangerous for society.
Kurogiri always wanted to speak up, to say that his master was wrong. That Tenko was kind, that he cared, and that he was the farthest thing from a monster anyone could be. That it wasn’t his fault, none of it was, that it was the fault of the monster that took him, the one he idolised as a god above all else.
Be quiet, be quiet quietquiet quiet–
“I don’t… I don’t want to hurt anyone.. I don’t want to kill people.. I don’t… I wanna go home!” Tenko flinched at his words, shrinking in on himself as though he would be punished. He would have, if spoken in front of master, but it was Kurogiri, and Kurogiri was ordered to care for him, he was unable to hurt Tenko, not that he ever would, orders or not.
In moments Kurogiri scooped the boy into his arm, Tenko burying his face into the crook of Kurogiri’s neck. “I miss my mom, I miss Hana, I miss Mon, I don’t care how many times my dad yells or hits me I just want to see them again!” All Kurogiri could do was hold the boy tighter as he choked the words out, as though they were painful to say. They probably were.
It took a long time for the sobs to quiet down, the years worth of pent up emotions finally being released at the murder of a criminal. At the fresh blood on such young hands. Kurogiri took a deep breath, “You’re not a monster, Tenko.” He didn’t even try to correct himself. This was Tenko, the boy he had to protect, even from his master. “But… lots of people are, so please, remember who you are…”
“Tenko’s–”
“Please, remember that.” Tenko went quiet in his arms, for once not arguing. Kurogiri was glad, because if he heard the words ‘Tenko’s dead’ one more time he might just break.
–
The day after that, his master took him to Doctor Ujiko for inspection.
He was reset and corrected accordingly.
–
“SENSEI!” Tomura screamed and kicked and fought in Kurogiri’s arms, reaching out towards master, who was bleeding out on the bleach-white floor, the doctor hefting him onto a stretcher. Kurogiri was ordered to take Tomura to his room, which was proving harder than usual since he couldn’t warp him. It would just cause him more distress.
So he ended up dragging the boy away as he fought tooth and nail to be beside his sensei, cracking the metal brace on Kurogiri’s neck in the process. “Who would do that, who would hurt sensei?! He did nothing wrong! He just wants to help people! Why, why?!” Tomura crumpled to the floor, and Kurogiri went down with him, not sure what to do. His orders were to take Tomura Shigaraki to his room, and he did. Which meant that he had to leave, to wait for more orders, but the boy was sobbing on his shoulder, and his brace was slowly crumbling to pieces, and he had to follow orders orders protect him protectprotectprotect–
“Why does everyone I care about die?” Teko whispered, voice so quiet he could barely hear.
Kurogiri took a gasp of air.
His arms encircled the boy he had to protect, not because of orders, but because he cared, he cared so much that it hurt. It hurt to watch Tenko get hurt, to watch him be manipulated and abused by that monster he was powerless to stop. All he could do was hold on as he watched Tenko shatter before his eyes, for the man that kidnapped him, the man that hurt him, the man that was going to kill him, because Tenko loved him. All he could do was rub circles into the boy's back, as the tears and sobs turned into frustration and rage . Tenko Shimura was torn to pieces, and all that was left was Tomura Shigaraki.
“Whoever did this, I will kill them. I’ll make the whole world watch..”
Shirakumo knew then and there, that Tenko was dead.
But he was going to everything to try and bring him back to life.