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Water was always dirtier than it appeared.
It was a problem that Luigi, as a plumber, was unfortunately familiar with. There was a reason he was handy with a vacuum cleaner, and he was used to small spills and leaks.
Peach's entire castle was still damp, even half an hour after the last of the water had drained away, and there was a grimy layer of silt everywhere. Toads were determinedly scrubbing the floors and windows and hanging up curtains and carpets to dry. It was going to take a lot of work to get the castle back to its usual pristine state, but the Mushroom Kingdom citizens were nothing if not hardworking for their beloved princess.
Luigi polished off the last of his ultra shroom, letting its healing properties numb his wounds. He'd been on his feet, fighting, since late morning and now evening was beginning to fall. Bowser's invasions always felt like they were lightning fast when you were the one under attack and yet, organising the troops had taken an absurd amount of time.
Luigi's knees made an ominous click when he got to his feet. Thankfully, no one was paying him any attention and he didn't have to fend off a dozen worried questions — Toad knees worked differently (if they even existed to begin with, which Luigi was still unsure about, but he'd made this long without asking and now it would just be awkward). He flexed his fingers, trying to dislodge the bone-deep chill of using multiple ice flowers in a short time span. Unfortunately, experience said that he'd have to wait until he used a fire flower or left it a few days for the residual magicks to wear off on their own.
Even with Peach's castle in such a state, Luigi couldn't help but smile when he wandered aimlessly through the corridors. Toads called out cheerful greetings as he passed and there wasn't even a huge amount of suspicion levelled at him when he offered to help out here and there (Toads had their pride when they weren't convincing poor gullible saps to do their work for them).
Home after an adventure was always surreal, but the familiarity was grounding.
"Hello, Princess," Luigi called when he caught sight of a battle-worn pink dress.
"Good evening, Luigi," Peach said.
Her hair was still tied up in the ponytail she'd been using to keep it out of the way of her fireballs. She must have changed her gloves though, as Luigi was sure he'd seen her old ones get inked by a Capod somewhere in the fight.
"Thank you for your help. We couldn't have taken back the castle without you," Peach said.
Luigi tugged his cap down over his eyes. "It's what anyone would have done, Princess."
"Would have tried to do, perhaps," Peach said. "Could have, I doubt. You were a hero today, Luigi, as you have been many times over in the past."
Luigi blushed and stared at the ground. He never knew what to do when someone complimented him one-on-one. He really wasn't anyone special.
"Have you heard any news from Mario?" Luigi asked, wanting the topic of conversation to change.
"Not precisely, though I have received a message of thanks from Pokey Port," Peach said. "They speak of a hero in red and his companions saving their town from an unending sandstorm."
"Pokey Port..." Luigi said slowly, racking his brains. Despite his travels, his geography still wasn't great. "That's… where, exactly?"
"An oasis in the Silicarid Desert," Peach filled in.
Still on track then. It was always hard to guess how long an adventure would take. The longest had been multiple months and the shortest had taken a single afternoon. However, minimal news was good news, especially when Mario had a habit of ticking off evil organisations enough that they'd probably want to broadcast his defeat if they'd managed it.
"Hopefully this mission was useful," Luigi said. He remembered who he was talking to. "I mean, other than helping you and your subjects, Princess."
"I hope so too," Peach said.
Luigi bit back a yawn. Between the flooding and the evening light, what little he could make out of the Mushroom Kingdom through the streaky windows was unfamiliar.
"It all looks so different," Luigi commented.
"They say a change is as good as a rest," Peach said knowingly.
"They never went on adventures," Luigi grumbled. "I like it when things are predictable."
Theoretically anyway. It wasn't like Luigi had often been given the opportunity to see if months without adventure would make him stir-crazy the same way more than a week's worth of relaxation tended to make Mario fidgety.
"Would you like to spend the night here?" Peach asked. "The staff tell me that some of the bedding in the attic storage was unharmed. We should have something suitable for you."
"That would be wonderful, Princess," Luigi said. "But I think the contract might take issue with that. Bowser said he put in a clause about providing for me — his wife — so I have to stay in his castle. I don't know if it will be a problem."
"Perhaps we can ask him," Peach said. "It may be acceptable if I allow him a suite of rooms and you can take one of those."
The thought of waking up to the sort of breakfasts Luigi had enjoyed at the castle previously was almost enough to make him cry. The house he shared with Mario was far enough out of town that he hadn't been able to see it yet, though he wasn't sure he wanted to. If it had been caught by the flood, Luigi wasn't sure he'd be able to bear it, and, if it hadn't, not getting to stay there would be too much.
"I'd like that," Luigi said quietly.
Peach was polite enough to turn her attention to a gaggle of Toads cleaning the windows while Luigi wiped his eyes.
The throne room showed how much progress the tidying had already managed. The ornate (if water-damaged) paintings had been removed along with the defeated Capod soldiers. A line of Toads were wielding mops with frightening efficiency while a collection of Koopas were struggling to roll up the soggy rugs to get them out of the way.
Bowser stood on the dais. The floor around him was still silty and smeared. Presumably no Toads were brave enough to ask him to move so they could clean up. He glanced over at Luigi and Peach as they approached.
"Your throne's broken," Bowser said. He eyed up the shattered inky pieces of throne with a grin. "Time you got something decently sized."
"I may not get another throne at all," Peach said. "I would prefer something more comfortable and my subjects find it somewhat intimidating."
"You could intimidate them with that delicate glitzy thing?" Bowser snorted. "I'm glad I don't have wimps like that in my kingdom."
A handful of Koopa Troopas chose that moment to shriek in terror as a huge piece of seaweed unstuck itself from the wall and flopped down to land on them. They flailed in fear for several minutes while a pair of Toads helped pull the seaweed off them.
"You were saying?" Luigi said, amused.
"Argh!" Bowser stomped his foot on the waterlogged carpet. It made a pathetic squelch. "Morons!"
Peach hid her smile behind her hand, but Luigi just grinned openly. Bowser crossed his arms and hissed out a puff of smoke; winning the battle must have put him in a good mood.
"In light of your assistance —" Peach began.
"That's a pretty weak way of saying your awesome army that we would've been totally lost without," Bowser said.
Peach was too dignified to roll her eyes, but she looked like she dearly wanted to.
"In light of your unquestionably valuable help," Peach said, "I would like to offer you and your people hospitality for the night."
Bowser pointedly stepped on the rug again. Water squished out of it and trickled down the dais steps, cutting a grimy trail across the recently-mopped tiles.
"I like it to be dry when I'm sleeping," Bowser said.
A mop handle caught Luigi in the shoulder. He jumped and turned around, then tripped over a Toad trying to mop a particularly stubborn streak of mud on the floor (Luigi tried not to think about the fight he'd been involved in near this area and whether or not his shoe could have left that particular scuff).
"Watch it!" the Toad yelped. "If you're not going to grab a mop then at least keep your second-string shoes out of my way!"
"Hey!" Bowser loomed over the Toad threateningly. "That's my wife you're insulting."
Blood rushed to Luigi's face in embarrassment as the Toad squeaked and ran off, leaving his mop to clatter to the ground behind him. The other Toads busied themselves with mopping the floor, but Luigi could already hear a few snatched whispers that meant this was going to be gossiped about all over town in record time.
"You didn't have to say it like that," Luigi said.
Bowser snorted. "What, like you would've stood up for yourself?"
"That's —" Luigi hunched into his shoulders, feeling absurdly pleased even though he really shouldn't. "Thank you, but I think I can handle a few Toads."
"Uh huh," Bowser said sceptically.
Luigi scuffed his foot on the ground and tried to will the blood away from his cheeks. He needed to get a hold of himself, if only to remember to apologise to the Toad later. He had a feeling that, despite the whole interaction being Luigi's fault for stepping on the Toad, Mario and Bowser would both agree that Luigi should be rude and not say sorry in any way.
"If we could find clean linens, would you be amenable to staying?" Peach asked.
"No, I'm not risking it," Bowser said.
"I know there's a chance the contract might be picky about where I sleep," Luigi said. "But, do you think we could maybe…?"
"The — oh, right, yeah. The contract," Bowser said. He shook his head. "Nope. I'm not getting zapped all night because you're sleeping in a bed I don't own." He rubbed his chin, contemplating. "Of course, if you'd like to hand over the Mushroom Kingdom to me, Peach, I'm sure we can figure something out."
"No," Peach said.
"Worth a shot," Bowser said easily.
"Could we try staying anyway?" Luigi asked, not caring how wobbly his voice was getting. "Please. I'll go the second there's a problem. I just want one night at home."
His voice cracked on the last word, but Bowser shook his head. Luigi closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped. He hadn't expected to change Bowser's mind, but being brushed off always hurt, no matter how much he was used to it.
"There's no way I'm giving you a chance to escape," Bowser growled.
Peach's gentle smile vanished and Luigi gaped at Bowser.
"I — what?" Luigi said. "I'm not going to try and — why would you think I'm going to escape?"
"Because you've tried it before and now we're two steps away from your home," Bowser said with a certainty that would have been remarkable if he hadn't been so wrong. "I'm not going to let you 'accidentally' get left behind."
A wall of homesickness crashed through Luigi. He'd been so close to seeing the Mushroom Kingdom that he remembered. To waking up to familiar noises and foods. To seeing friendly faces that he'd known for years.
"I won't try to escape," Luigi begged. "I promise. Please, can we stay? Just one night?"
"No," Bowser growled, wisps of smoke curled from his mouth. "And that's final."
It hurt in a way Luigi hadn't expected. He looked away and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm.
Luigi should have known. If he'd put even a second's thought into how Bowser was going to react to the suggestion, it would have been obvious that Bowser would be against it. Just because Luigi could occasionally persuade him to do something he didn't want to (like not slamming open every single door he went through or inviting Mario to stay at his castle), Bowser was still someone with a long history of kidnapping — and one of the main points of kidnapping was not letting the kidnapped victim go wherever they wanted.
"I'll have my council put to work on a solution the second they are found," Peach said, laying a comforting hand on Luigi's shoulder.
"It's okay, Princess," Luigi said.
"And anyway, I'd like to actually sleep," Bowser continued with a huff. "In my experience, Mushroom Kingdom beds aren't suited to Royal Koopas."
Luigi considered the size of an average Toad bed and then the size of Bowser. The problem hadn't even crossed his mind — he was used to being able to fit in whatever bed he came across on his adventures.
"Oh, sorry," Luigi said, kicking himself. "I should've thought of that."
Bowser stomped off. "Come on."
Luigi started to follow but was stopped by Peach grabbing his arm.
"Luigi, if there's anything I can give you to help then please, let me know," Peach said, with an un-princessly glare at Bowser's retreating shell. "If any power-ups or other items would make things the tiniest bit easier, they're yours. You don't have to put up with being treated like that."
Behind Peach's fierce urgency, there was a tremor to the fingers gripping Luigi's sleeve. Luigi carefully took her hand and managed a thin smile, ignoring the ice that threatened to steal his breath.
"Get some rest, Princess," Luigi said. "I don't need anything."
Peach blinked back tears. "There must be something…"
"You could write to me?" Luigi suggested. "I'd like to keep up to date with what's going on, if that's okay?"
"I can do that." Peach nodded, relieved at the lifeline.
"Goodnight, Princess," Luigi said.
"Goodnight, Luigi," Peach said. "Sleep well."
Luigi waved as Peach swept over to the hidden door behind the throne that led to her chambers. She was immediately swarmed by a bunch of Toads. Luigi didn't envy her having to deal with them after a long day of high-stakes combat. At least he could offer her a little comfort.
Even so, Luigi dragged his feet as he crossed the throne room. If he couldn't stay, he could at least prolong his time amidst recognisable surroundings. Even the scent of the floor polish that the Toads were liberally spraying was unbearably familiar.
Bowser was waiting with his arms crossed and impatiently tapping his foot when Luigi reached the throne room doors. Luigi looked up at him, wondering what Bowser was going to take issue with now.
"It's going to take some time to get my troops organised and onto my airships," Bowser said, glaring at a gaggle of Toads attempting to dry spread-out books by running back and forth with hairdryers.
"So?" Luigi asked.
"So, you've probably got enough time to raid Peach's kitchen for some breakfast," Bowser said. "But if you're not on the airship at liftoff then I'll make sure you are."
Luigi blinked at Bowser. After insisting that Luigi wasn't allowed to stay, he was now suggesting that Luigi run off for a while? It was a startling amount of freedom, even taking into account the magical binding.
Still, there was no way Luigi was going to turn down an offer of good food.
"Okie dokie," Luigi said.
Bowser nodded shortly, still glowering at the Toads. Luigi edged around him and trotted off down the corridors. He could grab some good pepper and as many mushrooms as he could carry (Koopa diets didn't include either, much to Luigi's continual despair) and get back to the airship with plenty of time. Troop mobilisation was always slow, no matter how efficient the soldiers tried to be.
At least the journey back to Bowser's castle would be much faster and more comfortable on the airship compared to the times Luigi had traipsed through sands and swamps on a rescue mission.
Thud.
Luigi rubbed his smarting hip. He was so bad at using hammocks it was ridiculous. Give him a nice soft mattress or a deck chair any day. Around him, Koopas and Goombas snoozed without a care in the world. Snores filled the hold of the airship, audible even over the steady thrum of the engines.
Luigi gathered his blankets and wrapped up as best he could. It was cold at night on the airship; the engines needed ventilation and that left it chilly when it was cruising at high altitudes.
A walk might help him warm up and wear him out enough to fall asleep. He snuck through the rows of troops, blankets whisking across the floor behind him. He breathed a sigh of relief when he made it out of the hold without waking anyone.
The airship was weirdly still at this hour. Luigi had only ever previously been on Bowser's airships when they were in full attack mode. Just like his castle, it made sense that everyone wasn't on alert at all times, but it was still odd to be reminded that these were people and not just enemies.
Luigi wandered through the creaky wooden halls, occasionally stopping to peer out the portholes into the pitch-black night. He couldn't make out any stars, but he couldn't tell whether that was due to cloud cover or the airship's ambient lighting washing out the stars. He shivered; it was even colder away from the room full of sleeping bodies. Maybe he should head back.
… which would be much easier if he knew where he was.
Luigi sighed and pulled his blankets closer. He'd gotten the hang of the airship's layout earlier that day, but now he was tired and everything looked different in the dark. Time to explore.
The first door Luigi found led to the Bullet Bill storage. If it didn't have explosives strewn around it, Luigi would have happily curled up in a corner to wait out the return journey. He stomped his feet and slapped his face to try and stay awake long enough to find a place to nap.
The next door was a pokey cupboard of brooms and cleaning supplies with no room for Luigis.
Bowser was in the next room, pouring over battle reports. He looked up when Luigi stumbled unsteadily through the door. He looked significantly more awake than Luigi, which was completely unfair — he'd done just as much fighting and had been leading troops for most of that time too.
"I thought you were asleep," Bowser said.
"The hammock keeps dropping me," Luigi complained, knowing he was setting himself up for mockery.
"Bwahaha!"
Luigi let out an over-exaggerated sigh and approached the table. It was covered in reports and notes in various handwritings. Bowser's rough (yet surprisingly consistent letter-to-letter) scrawl was squeezed in the margins of nearly every paper Luigi could see.
"New walls crack easily, need more force than before to shatter fully," Luigi read off upside down. "What are you doing?"
"I'm writing up the battle," Bowser explained. "It's good to have a record of what went well and what didn't."
Luigi wasn't sure if Bowser had ever looked at his notes again after a failed attack. Which was probably good for the Mushroom Kingdom — if the diagrams were as useful as they were absurdly detailed, the Toads wouldn't stand a chance (not that they often did).
"Your division did second best," Bowser said, tapping a heavily annotated diagram that Luigi recognised as the route he'd taken through the enemy forces. "After mine, of course."
"Thank you?" Luigi said.
"You'd make a good captain or head of the ninjakoop division," Bowser said with a grin. "How do you feel about stomping Toads for once? The pay's good."
Luigi snorted. The idea of him holding a position like that was laughable. Though it was nice to be in on the joke and also have his skills praised, especially when Bowser wasn't being as direct as he could be in his compliments.
Luigi yawned. He leant against the table. Bowser wasn't currently using his big chair, surely he wouldn't mind if Luigi sat down for a few minutes until he felt up to wandering the airship in search of the bunk room again.
Bowser frowned at Luigi as he perched on the edge of the seat and huddled up under his blankets.
"Are you cold?" Bowser asked, as though he was asking Luigi if he thought the sky was green and the grass was blue.
Luigi nodded. "I'm used to it being warm when I sleep and it's… not."
"It's not that cold," Bowser said.
"It is for me," Luigi said, fighting back another shiver.
"There's something else, isn't there," Bowser said, frowning. "Why are you looking so miserable? We won!"
That was surprisingly observant of him. Luigi rubbed his eyes and considered his emotional state; he wasn't great at putting his thoughts into words and saying what he meant.
"It's… the end of an adventure can feel…" Luigi tried to find the right word to describe it without sounding horribly ungrateful. "I mean. It's done and I'm relieved, absolutely — and I know this isn't really the end of things, but that fight was pretty big and — I'm glad it's over and everyone's okay, really, it just feels…"
"Unfulfilling," Bowser finished for him.
Luigi huddled further into his blankets, chilled by more than the air. "Yeah."
How were you supposed to just carry on with normal life after an experience like that? Luigi was always glad when an adventure was over, but there was a simplicity in fighting and puzzle-solving that was strangely addictive. And Luigi was good at adventures, even if he didn't always get full credit for his victories.
It was nice to feel useful and wanted for once.
"Well, at least Mario's not going to show up to ruin your victory," Bowser said, annoyance colouring his voice. "I keep expecting him to jump out from a pipe in the ceiling and stomp me for invading the Mushroom Kingdom again."
"But you were helping us," Luigi said.
"I know that," Bowser grumped. "But my subconscious doesn't. It's impossible to get any sleep while I'm still prepared for an attack."
"Is that why you're still up?"
"Getting home and lying down in my own bed will probably be enough to get my stupid head to drop it," Bowser said. "And there's nothing else to do, so I might as well sort out all this junk while I've got a good memory of the fight."
"That's good of you," Luigi said. "I hope you manage to get some rest soon anyway."
Bowser did look tired, Luigi realised. His tells were different to Mario's or Peach's, but Luigi was starting to be able to tell the difference between when Junior needed a five-minute sit-down and when he needed a full night's sleep. Bowser's breathing was slower than usual and he moved like he was noticing the weight of his shell for once.
"It sucks that you didn't get to stay at your house," Bowser said suddenly. He looked away with a huff of smoke when Luigi looked at him quizzically. "Sorry."
"Oh, thank you," Luigi said instinctively, while his sleepy mind tried to figure out why Bowser was apologising about that now. "I… It's okay. It's probably all flooded. I bet some Toads will fix it though, if only for Mario's sake."
Bowser looked relieved as he picked through papers, scribbling a note in an occasional margin. He had the same over-tired fidgety energy that Luigi had only seen on him when he was horribly ill a couple of weeks ago. Last time he'd wanted company, though he'd found asking for it tricky.
"If you want I could —" Luigi broke off with a yawn. "Sorry. I could stay awake with you. Even my company's better than nothing, right?"
"You look like you're gonna drop off if you close your eyes for more than a second," Bowser said.
Luigi rubbed his eyes. He was pretty exhausted. There was nothing like staying still for five minutes to send him off for a good nap.
"I can try to stay awake," Luigi corrected himself. "It's cold enough that actually falling asleep is going to be hard."
Bowser huffed in amusement. He scooped up most of the papers and shook them into a rough pile. Luigi blew on his fingers as he watched, trying to get warmth into them. He was never using ice flowers again unless he had a visit to a hot tub lined up immediately afterwards. Maybe he could find a way to rent a pool at Bowser's castle; given how often his adventures ended there, it would be much better to have a quick dip before leaving, rather than having to traipse all the way home and hope his shower hadn't been damaged in the initial attack.
"Scoot over," Bowser said abruptly.
"Sorry," Luigi hopped off the chair.
"No." Bowser pushed Luigi back onto the seat and wedged himself next to him. There was barely enough room for both of them. "Stay there."
Unsure what the plan was, Luigi tried to get comfortable with the edge of Bowser's shell digging into his shoulder and the way their legs were touching. There was nothing to make Luigi feel small like having such a direct comparison to how huge Bowser was.
Bowser inhaled sharply and breathed out smoke with a tiny flicker of fire. Luigi opened his mouth to protest (he didn't want to catch on fire!) when he noticed something: Bowser was warm. He radiated heat like a lava pool and Luigi, trapped as he was between Bowser and the solid arm of the chair, was starting to toast nicely.
"Oh. You're really hot," Luigi said.
"Tell me something I don't know," Bowser said, sounding far too pleased with himself.
Luigi curled up, bringing his knees up against his chest to help heat up quicker. He rubbed his hands together to try and get warmth into his fingers. The ice flower chill clung stubbornly, until Bowser breathed flame into his palm, snuffed it by closing his fist, and then grabbed both of Luigi's hands with his now coal-hot hand.
"How are your fingers this cold? I can't believe you've survived this long," Bowser grumbled. "I know you've routed through ice worlds to get to my castle before."
"Power-ups make a difference," Luigi said. He pulled his hands back and immediately regretted it. The temptation to snuggle into the warmth was almost unbearable, but Bowser would probably take it badly, even if he was currently being weirdly nice. "And I'm usually jogging through — well, skidding mostly. It's not like I'm trying to sleep in the snow either."
Bowser breathed another lick of flame into the air. Luigi was going to have to shed a blanket layer if this kept up. Though that might make things even more awkward than they already were. Luigi hadn't spent much time this close to Bowser and nearly all the previous times had also involved a tense social situation which Luigi could focus on instead.
"Do you not get cold?" Luigi asked, talking to stop himself from thinking about how much he wanted to presumptuously cuddle up to get warm. "Or is it just that you can keep yourself warm when necessary?"
"It takes a lot of energy to keep my flame pipe constantly active," Bowser said. "So it's not always the best idea if I don't know when I'll be able to eat next."
"It's not going to hurt you to stay extra hot now, is it?" Luigi asked, concerned.
Bowser laughed. "I'm made of tougher stuff than that."
Which wasn't a no, exactly. However, questioning Bowser's boasts had to be done carefully to be useful and Luigi was too tired and warm to figure out what he even wanted to protest. It wasn't like Bowser would hurt himself just to keep Luigi warm.
Luigi blinked awake a second later, halfway to snoring. He should probably go back to his hammock before he fell asleep for real.
"Thank you," Luigi said with a yawn. "I know it's just because the contract wants you to keep me comfortable, but thank you."
"I —" Bowser coughed into his fist. "Y-yeah, that's definitely it. You're lucky I'm such a generous guy."
"I should get back to —" Luigi's escape from the chair was cut off with a squeak by Bowser yanking him back into the seat.
"Just go to sleep, Luigi," Bowser said with an amused huff of warm smoke. He propped his elbow on the armrest, almost encircling Luigi.
"If you're sure," Luigi said with another yawn, however, he wasn't fighting slumber's pull particularly hard.
Luigi leant against the arm of the chair, resting his head on his folded arms, and started to doze off. The last thing Luigi remembered was Bowser gently tugging him against his side and thinking that fire-warmed scales made for a much better bed than a wobbly hammock.