Archive of Our Own ^beta

"It's about lung capacity," Bowser explained for the fifth time with surprising patience. "Just because your flame pipe is separate, it doesn't mean it can work without your breath."

"My lungs are fine!" Junior protested.

"Then hold your breath for ten minutes," Bowser said.

Junior stomped his foot in frustration. "That's ages!"

Luigi watched from a safe distance in the stands of the big stadium which Bowser used when he was hosting tournaments. Junior had insisted that Luigi had to come and watch his fire breathing practice. It wasn't what Luigi would have wanted for himself; he hated being observed when he was trying to learn something new. However, whether it was because he had been raised as a prince or because his natural predilection leant towards showing off, Junior was always brave about external encouragement and generally performed better with it than without.

The stadium seats were pretty uncomfortable. Long dark wooden benches bolted onto crackly volcanic rock and scratched beneath an ineffectual layer of varnish. The whole thing had been carved into the side of a volcano (one that Luigi had been assured was dormant, at least for now), so it was solid and rough all the way around — a constant threat of skinned knees for anyone who didn't have a protective layer of dense scales.

Luigi was usually a competitor when he was visiting the stadium, so he hadn't had the displeasure of being stuck in the stands before. He hoped that the attendees at least got cushions, but that seemed fairly unlikely, given that the changing rooms under the stadium were gloomy and unfurnished too. A discouraging tactic, Luigi had originally thought, until he'd stumbled into the home side and it was the same bare stone walls and flickering torches. Just Bowser's bad taste.

"Luigi!" Junior shouted, waving wildly, as though there was any way Luigi could miss him. "Come see!"

"I can see fine!" Luigi called back.

"No! You gotta come here to see!"

Luigi put down the book he'd been dipping in and out of (Furnace Fire and Longing was more interesting the second time around now that he knew the plot twist, but he still couldn't read a huge amount of mush in one sitting). He carefully hopped off the bench and down onto the arena floor, mindful of the way the stands had a habit of tripping people up.

"Did you need me for something?" Luigi asked, jogging over.

"Look at this!" Junior said excitedly.

Junior turned to face the target, puffed himself up, and then spat fire, throwing his whole body into the motion. He smiled up at Luigi expectantly after his fireball singed the bottom ring of the target.

"I could see fine from over there," Luigi said. "But well done!" He added quickly as Junior began to frown. "It's really, uh, bright?"

He should have paid a bit more attention when Junior had been discussing fire before. Unfortunately, Junior often fell into the habit of explaining from a fire-breathing Koopa's perspective which lost Luigi entirely. It was hard to imagine how you might constrict a flame pipe to get different fire shapes if you didn't even have a flame pipe.

"Watch it again!" Junior demanded.

Junior spat fire at the scorched target. It was more of a single fireball with an extended tail than an uninterrupted stream of flame, but he was clearly trying his best, so Luigi clapped for him.

"Well done," Luigi said.

Junior crossed his arms with a smug grin. Luigi waited, wanting to return to the safety of his seat before fire was spat near him again, but not wanting to discourage Junior. Bowser bumped Junior's shell with his knuckles.

"Awesome job, Junior," Bowser said proudly. "The Mushroom Kingdom won't know what hit it!"

The smile dropped off Luigi's face. How did he keep forgetting Bowser's longest-standing goal? Just because he'd been helpful recently, didn't mean he had turned over a new leaf entirely. They'd had team-ups in the past that had ended like this too. Yet, somehow, Luigi had thought this time would be different, though he wasn't sure why.

"Do… do you have to attack the Mushroom Kingdom?" Luigi asked carefully.

"Why wouldn't I?" Bowser said. "It's my whole schtick."

"Tradition isn't a great reason to keep fighting," Luigi said. "You helped us recently — that could be a good step towards finally having peace."

"Peace?" Bowser looked as though he'd never heard the word before. "I didn't do anything I haven't done before; why would it be different this time? Why would I even want that?"

There was a big difference between Bowser helping out halfway through an adventure (and then more often than not making a grab for power near the end) compared to Bowser willingly giving the Mushroom Kingdom aid because Princess Peach had asked him in an official capacity. They'd coordinated everything together, fought alongside one another, and it had worked.

"It's been eleven years," Luigi stressed, "aren't you tired of fighting? Of losing over and over?"

"Hey! My plans work!" Bowser argued. "I've won tons of times. It still counts, even if you and your brother mess up my victories later."

"You know, we wouldn't have to mess up your victories if you were an ally," Luigi said.

"Right," Bowser snorted. "You're totally going to hand over the Mushroom Kingdom because I asked nicely. Pull the other one."

Luigi shook his head. He didn't want to fight Bowser anymore, not properly, but he would if Bowser tried to take over his home again. Adventures were fine (when Luigi could pluck up enough courage to face them), he was just tired of fighting Bowser specifically.

"You don't have to attack us," Luigi said. Maybe there was another angle he could try for. "Planning invasions takes ages. You could spend that time on yourself or a hobby or… or anything else."

"Making invasion plans is my hobby," Bowser said. "It's cool and good stress relief — and who doesn't like the rush of the fight?"

"Me!" Luigi said insistently.

Bowser blinked at him, blindsided. "But you're good at being a hero."

Mario had often used the same argument against Luigi when he didn't want to participate in adventures in the past. Usually, it took him changing tack to 'I can't do this without you' for Luigi to properly agree, but sometimes it only took the gentle reminder that Luigi was good at adventuring on his better days.

"That doesn't mean I like it," Luigi said. "I'm good at ghost-hunting —" or so Professor Gadd had told him once or twice, "— and I hate that too."

"If you don't like it then why have you faced off against me so often?" Bowser asked, bewildered.

"Because I have to?" Luigi said.

"No, you don't," Bowser scoffed.

"Yes, I do," Luigi said. "I'll do anything I can to help my friends, even do stuff I don't like. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't."

He'd run into this problem with Bowser before. Bowser was of the opinion that people should just do what they wanted and the things he had to do as part of being the king were exceptions to that rule, not just something he did because it was his responsibility even when he didn't like doing it.

"Pah." Bowser rolled his eyes. "This is why you should never be a hero, Junior."

"You've been a hero before too," Luigi said.

"That doesn't count," Bowser huffed.

"Well, if you don't count as a hero for saving the world despite not wanting to, then I don't count either," Luigi said. "And you call me a hero all the time."

Bowser scowled at his logic and let out a low growl. Luigi just smiled winningly. Junior giggled.

"You're not allowed to get away with calling me a hero just because you smiled at me," Bowser said threateningly.

"I'll try to keep a straight face next time," Luigi said, still grinning.

Bowser spat fire at one of the training targets, incinerating it far more effectively than Junior's little fireballs. It was so much better being an ally alongside Bowser when he was fighting, rather than being on the receiving end of his fire blasts.

Luigi glanced up at the sky. He was starting to get the hang of picking out where the sun was behind the usual heavy cloud cover. It was maybe midday-ish (Luigi still regretted not putting his watch on during the morning of his kidnapping).

"I'm going to get some lunch," Luigi said. "Do you want anything?"

Bowser snorted dismissively. Luigi burned with embarrassment. He knew Koopas didn't have to eat as often as he did, but he'd feel worse if he was impolite and didn't offer than he would for being thought of as a fool for asking when he knew better.

"Can I have some iced fingers?" Junior asked, brightening.

Luigi smiled as Bowser huffed, clearly torn between making fun of Luigi and being encouraging towards Junior. With an eye-roll directly purely at Luigi, Bowser nudged Junior forward.

"It's probably time we took a break anyway," Bowser said. "Got to give your flame pipe some time to rest between sessions."

"Stupid flame pipe," Junior grumbled.

He trotted after Luigi despite his complaints. Luigi gave Bowser a nod and led Junior out of the stadium and back to the castle.

The kitchen had some spiced meat-stuffed rolls ready to go. Luigi and Junior found a windowsill overlooking the lava fields to sit on as they ate. It was surprisingly peaceful; Junior must have worn himself out more than he'd let on during his fire breathing practice. Luigi let the quiet, broken only by the stomping feet of distant troops, wash over him.

"Why don't you want Dad to invade the Mushroom Kingdom?" Junior asked through a mouthful of bread. "You helped him last time he did it."

"Swallow before you talk," Luigi chided.

He wasn't prepared for this conversation. Arguments that might work on Bowser were much less likely to work on Junior; Luigi would have to rethink his strategy. Junior swallowed his food and stuck his tongue out to show Luigi his empty mouth.

"Come on," Junior said. "Tell me!"

"It was different that time. He wasn't invading the Mushroom Kingdom for his own gain," Luigi said. "He was helping Princess Peach defeat people who had already invaded the Mushroom Kingdom."

"You still beat people up and kicked them out," Junior said.

"That's… true," Luigi said. He took a bite of his lunch and chewed it slowly to give himself time to think. "It's still different. They started it by hurting a lot of Mushroom Folk."

"And that's bad?" Junior said, sounding like he already knew what Luigi's answer would be, but was hoping otherwise.

"Yes."

Junior sighed heavily. "Stupid weedy Mushroom Folk," he muttered under his breath.

Luigi pretended not to hear that. He took another slow bite and considered Junior. Bowser might like the strategic nature of war games, but Junior was still fairly direct in his interests, as most kids his age were. It probably wasn't the tactical planning and troop organisation that Junior liked in a fight.

"It's okay if you've enjoyed taking part in attacks in the past," Luigi said. "And I know you think hurting people is fun, but you're getting older and you should really start thinking about other people's feelings."

"Other people are stupid," Junior said.

"Sometimes they are." Luigi didn't know anyone who hadn't done something dumb at some point in their life — himself included. "But as long as they're not hurting anyone, they can be as stupid as they want."

Junior kicked his heels against the wall as he glared at the last shreds of his roll. It was still progress that he was actually considering Luigi's words instead of dismissing them outright.

"I like fighting," Junior said defensively, like he was expecting Luigi to tell him off for admitting that.

"I know," Luigi said. "But there are downsides to fighting everyone all the time, aren't there?"

"It's fun to mess with new people," Junior said. "But after we do a big invasion, I have to stay at home for a while, so I don't get to do that much. It's boring being stuck inside all the time just because other people don't like fighting."

That was maybe something Luigi could work with. He tugged the brim of his cap as he thought.

"Do you like sports tournaments?" Luigi asked.

"Yeah!"

"Would you be okay if you never got to pull an invasion again, but I made sure you got an invite to every sports game the Mushroom Kingdom hosts?" Luigi asked hopefully. "Sometimes they have fighting tournaments too."

Junior frowned as he pondered the offer. Luigi mentally crossed his fingers. If he could get Junior to agree, then it would be easier to persuade Bowser too — still nigh impossible, but better than the zero per cent chance it was currently looking like.

"I don't know," Junior said slowly. "Dad really wants to take over the Mushroom Kingdom."

"I'm not asking about your dad," Luigi said, "I'm asking about you and what you'd like to do."

Junior hunched partially into his shell, clearly conflicted. Luigi ruffled his ponytail.

"You don't have to answer now if you don't want to," Luigi said. "But maybe you could think about it, okay?"

"Okay," Junior said, muffled by his shell.

Luigi took a bite of spiced meat and regretted not grabbing a drink while he was in the kitchen. Junior poked his snout out enough to stuff the last of his roll into his mouth. The final kick of chilli was enough to perk him up and he tugged on Luigi's sleeve.

"Let's go play Chain Chomp fetch," Junior said. He looked at Luigi's half-empty plate and huffed. "I suppose we can wait until you've finished your lunch," he allowed magnanimously.

"You've got engineering lessons this afternoon," Luigi reminded him, "but I'd be happy to play with you tomorrow."

Luigi had been amused to find that all of Junior's lessons had been renamed to convince him to sit through them. Engineering sounded cooler to a seven-year-old than maths and physics.

"What if I finish my work super fast?" Junior asked hopefully. "Can we go to the kennels after I'm done today?"

"No."

"You're no fun." Junior hopped off the windowsill. "Alright, fine. I guess I'll go learn stuff for a bit."

"I'll see you later," Luigi said. "Be nice to your teacher!"

Junior cackled as he ran off down the corridor. At least he'd gotten out some of his boundless energy that morning.

Something was happening in the castle. Luigi couldn't say when he'd fully noticed the increase in soldiers, but suddenly he was tripping over spears and hammers every time he turned a corner. Curious, he changed his path to head to the front entrance; the soldiers on gate duty were always the first to know what was going on.

Only once he reached the entrance hall and caught sight of a familiar flash of red amidst the soldiers did Luigi realise who the obvious culprit was. He really should have guessed.

"Mario!" Luigi called.

Mario brightened and stood up on his tiptoes to wave at Luigi over some Goombas.

"Luigi!"

Luigi ran forward and grabbed his brother in a hug. Mario clutched back. It was always a relief to see Mario again, even when Luigi was relatively up-to-date on his adventuring.

"You're okay," Luigi said, grinning. "I thought you'd gotten yourself lost in the desert."

"You're the one with a terrible sense of direction," Mario shot back. "I'm amazed you haven't tripped into a lava feature by now."

"Hey!" Luigi laughed.

"Anyway, I had help," Mario added.

He waved at a group of unfamiliar people hanging around the entrance hall. A green Shy Guy, a moustachioed Ptooie, a Goomba with a pot on his head, and a Bumpty in sunglasses. Mario always managed to make new friends out of the most unlikely characters on his adventures. Although it was good to know that Mario hadn't faced danger alone, Luigi wished it could have been him helping instead.

Kamek was also there. His robes were sand-stained and he'd cracked one of the lenses of his glasses, but otherwise, he appeared fine. Luigi hadn't been entirely worried (anyone Mario was trying to save got saved), but he knew it could be rough being trapped somewhere unfamiliar.

"So, how'd it go?" Luigi asked. "Did the sidequest pay off?"

"More than you'd think. It turned out that the Capods were searching for something to replace their precious binding ink pot," Mario said. "I'll let you guess who stole it from them in the first place, and the first two don't count."

"Oh dear," Luigi sighed. "Bowser?"

"Bowser." Mario nodded. "Since they couldn't come here to get it back, because it's surrounded by lava, one of their generals came up with the fantastic idea to use a mind-controlling vase from the middle of the Silicarid Desert instead, which conveniently gave him an excuse to invade a bunch of other kingdoms."

"It's not His Majesty's fault alone, as you well know," Kamek butted in with a glare at Mario.

Mario turned his head far enough away to roll his eyes without Kamek noticing. Luigi bit his cheek to stop himself from laughing.

"Alright, General Lamari was going to be a problem at some point," Mario agreed. "Bowser just kicked things off early."

"Lamari ruined his plans because of his impatience," Kamek said. "The foolishness of the power-hungry."

"You work for Bowser," Luigi said, amazed that anyone in the castle could call someone else power-hungry and impatient. Plus, the argument that morning still smarted a bit.

"Lord Bowser is the king," Kamek huffed. "We would be a poor kingdom if our ruler was not ambitious."

Luigi wasn't sure that ambition was a good thing for a ruler to have, at least not in the quantities Bowser had. His best picture of royalty was Princess Peach and she didn't need to conquer other kingdoms to protect her ego.

"We sorted it out anyway," Mario said. "We managed to find a way to help the prince get back in power — without stealing Peach's hair — and he's content to stay within their borders while they rebuild. Apparently, flooded landscapes don't make great habitats for his people."

Kamek muttered something under his breath, likely about the Capod prince being a worthless ruler for not wanting invasions, if the few words Luigi could make out were anything to go by.

Luigi opened his mouth to ask more, but finally noticed that Mario looked worn down and ready to sleep for a week. His party were nursing bumps and scrapes too. They'd only just gotten back from a big adventure, Luigi reminded himself; they should take some time to rest.

"You can tell me about all of it later," Luigi said. "You should get some food and a sit down right now."

"Not just yet," Mario said, determined. "There's something else that —"

Heavy footsteps and a reverent parting of the troops heralded Bowser's arrival. He didn't look too annoyed about Mario having shown up at his front door, but maybe that was because he was relieved about Kamek being returned in one piece.

The Goomba with the pot on his head squeaked at the sight of Bowser and hid behind the Ptooie. Luigi thought he was scared until he noticed the blush and the wide, amazed eyes. It took all sorts.

"You're back," Bowser said unenthusiastically. "That's what all this fuss has been about."

Mario tipped his hat and smiled. Bowser huffed and turned his attention to Kamek.

"About time," Bowser said.

"Forgive me for my lateness, Your Mercifulness," Kamek said. He pulled a scroll bound in strips of charm-encrusted leather from his sleeve. "I hope this is enough to assuage your impatience."

Luigi's heart skipped a beat. Could that be what he hoped it was? Mario caught his eye with a grin and nodded. Luigi felt like crying in relief. Finally, finally, this messy situation could come to an end.

Bowser growled, deep and threatening. The surrounding soldiers all took a step back and there were several yelps as a group of Koopa Troopas tripped over a bunch of Spinies. Luigi's smile faltered.

"You got it?" Bowser asked flatly.

"Yes, my lord," Kamek said. He looked at the scroll in his hands. "I believe I can unravel the contract's magicks entirely with this! I'll return to my lab to prepare the necessary alchemical components while you send someone to fetch the contract —"

"No," Bowser interrupted.

"— and then with the appropriate conduits I —" Kamek looked up at Bowser in confusion. "What was that, Your Interjectingness?"

"No, I'm not handing over the contract," Bowser said.

"But… this will break the contract!" Kamek said. "Just as you desired."

"Maybe I don't want it broken," Bowser growled. "It took me ages to make in the first place and some of it's salvageable — but only if you don't destroy it entirely."

"Your Contrariness?" Kamek said, confused. "It was your idea to fetch this scroll in the hopes of completely destroying the contract's magicks."

"Because I thought it would alter it, not get rid of it," Bowser said.

Judging by Kamek's surprise, he hadn't been aware of that. Luigi frowned; just what was Bowser up to? Driving the Capods out of the Mushroom Kingdom had taken up a lot of his time for plotting, so when had he found time to start making more plans?

"Just hand over the contract, Bowser," Mario said.

"No!" Bowser snarled. "It's mine."

Luigi blinked as the mood shifted sharply from a belligerent welcome to adversarial pre-battle tension. Most of Mario's new friends edged forwards to back him up (the be-potted Goomba was still staring at Bowser, star-struck) while Bowser's troops were closing ranks around their king.

"Wait!" Luigi held his hands up placatingly. "Everyone's only just gotten back, can't arguing over the contract wait for — for half an hour, at least?"

"No." Bowser stomped forward and gestured sharply to Kamek. "Hand over the scroll."

Kamek hesitated and that was enough for Mario to step in the way. Bowser snorted smoke angrily as Mario took a familiar defensive stance. Luigi edged closer. He really hoped it wouldn't come to a fight.

"Your Hastiness," Kamek said cautiously over Mario's shoulder, "I'm sure I can figure out how to use this scroll for contract alteration instead of destruction, if that's what you truly wish. However, I cannot do that if you destroy it now!"

Bowser growled low enough that Luigi could feel it through his feet. Mario didn't flinch. Bowser looked over him at Kamek and then glanced at Luigi.

"You're not getting that contract," Bowser snarled at Mario. He stormed off, leaving behind a bewildered group, unsure if they should be fighting or not.

"Kamek?" Luigi asked.

Kamek watched Bowser stomp away with a puzzled look on his face clear even behind his thick glasses.

"Hmm?" Kamek said absently, not looking away. "What is it, Princ— oh! Oh dear."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing." Kamek slumped, exhausted. "It's just that Lord Bowser has a particular knack for making things difficult."

"He's not going to give up the contract, is he?" Luigi said, stomach sinking.

"I'm sure he will," Kamek said. "… eventually."

"We can always get it our way," Mario said, determined.

By which he meant fighting, like all their conflicts with Bowser. Luigi found himself disappointed and upset by the idea. The troops eyed Mario and more than one hand tightened its grip on a hammer or spear. Luigi waved for them to back down and, to his surprise, most of them paid attention.

"Let me try first," Luigi said.

Mario cocked his head and raised his eyebrows.

"I think I might be able to end this peacefully," Luigi explained. "I've been here a month; I've picked a few things up, okay?"

Mario nodded. "Let me know if you need backup."

"Always."

Luigi ran into Junior before he found Bowser (who he was guessing was back in his room where the contract was, it was a pain that the royal suites were so far from the castle entrance). Junior had smudges of axle grease and charcoal all over his face and shell.

"I'm all done!" Junior said with a sly grin.

Luigi very much doubted that he'd managed to sit through an entire lesson, but sometimes the teachers let him off early if he'd done particularly well and messing with mechanical engine parts was something that Junior really liked. Luigi decided to give him the benefit of the doubt — he was still too excited at the idea of getting out of there that he didn't want to spoil the mood with potential reprimands.

"I'm going home!" Luigi said, still excited at the idea.

Junior's face fell. "What?"

"Mario brought back something to break the contract with," Luigi explained, smiling. "And once that's done I can go home and sleep in my own bed for the first time in ages!"

Junior stared at him, a strange blank expression on his face. Luigi smiled wider in what he hoped was an encouraging way.

"I don't know how long it's going to take," Luigi said. "But I think there's a good chance I'll be back home for a late dinner. Isn't that great!"

"But… but…" Junior blinked furiously. "You said you'd play with me tomorrow!"

"I did say that," Luigi said slowly, "but that was before I knew I was going to be free. Maybe you can ask someone else to take you to see the Chain Chomps instead."

Junior looked away stubbornly. That wasn't what Luigi had expected. Granted, Junior pestered him more often than anyone else around the castle, but Luigi had been under the impression that was just because he had nothing better to do with his time than give Junior attention.

"Why d'you have to go?" Junior protested. "It'll be boring without you."

"I thought I was the most boring person in the history of ever?" Luigi said with a wry smile.

"It's a tiny bit more exciting when you're here," Junior allowed. He scrubbed at his snout. "Why can't you just stay?"

There was nothing more heartbreaking than a sad child. Luigi pushed down his elation as he knelt down at eye level to offer Junior sympathy. This situation wasn't Junior's fault and it was normal for a child to miss someone they'd spent a lot of time with, even if they weren't particularly close.

"You can visit me," Luigi said. "And I can try to visit you as well."

"I don't want you to go," Junior said quietly.

"I'll miss you too." Luigi wrapped his arms around Junior.

Junior squirmed free and then kicked Luigi in the shin as hard as he could.

"I'm not gonna miss you!" Junior shouted right into Luigi's ear. "I'm glad you're going, you loser!"

He ran off, leaving Luigi hopping on one leg whimpering in pain (clawed toes made for a nasty shin kick). It was tempting to chase after him, but there was no way Luigi could catch up to Junior or find him in the castle's labyrinthine halls if Junior didn't want to be found.

He'd just have to make sure Bowser knew so he could deal with it later. Luigi sighed, his good mood somewhat punctured, and continued on.

The fancy heavy doors to Bowser's room were ajar (which was a relief, opening them was hard work for a lone Luigi). Bowser must have been expecting someone to come after him. Luigi knocked and poked his head in.

"Hello? Bowser?" Luigi called.

Bowser was standing in front of his workbench, glaring at the contract. He looked over in surprise when Luigi let himself in.

"What are you doing here?" Bowser asked.

"I'm here for the contract," Luigi said.

"Get lost," Bowser said. He turned back to the workbench.

Luigi moved closer until he could make out the signatures on the contract underneath the wall of fine print. Bowser slammed his hand over the contract and gave Luigi a challenging glare, like he thought Luigi was going to try and snatch it. Luigi hadn't been planning on it, at least not until he ran out of other options.

"You've been wanting it broken for ages now," Luigi said. "Why can't you just give it to Kamek to fix? Mario says it's the right scroll too, if you're worried that Kamek got it mixed up or something."

"Stupid Mario," Bowser grumbled, "couldn't wait to meddle with my stuff."

"You want the contract gone, why does it matter who ended up being the one to fix it?" Luigi asked.

"Because it's mine and I get to decide if it gets broken!" Bowser said. He stomped his foot, shaking the ground.

"Okay, but, you found the breaking thing originally, didn't you?" Luigi tried. "Mario was just following your lead there."

"Yeah, it's not like he's ever had an original thought in his head," Bowser said with a nasty grin.

"He's my brother," Luigi said, unimpressed.

"You obviously got all the brains," Bowser said.

Luigi choked out a laugh of disbelief. Bowser glanced at the contract, then back at Luigi. He turned to toy with a broken wand, leaving his back to the contract.

"I guess I can't watch you all the time," Bowser said. "But don't expect me to be happy about it."

Luigi let out a sigh of relief. That was much easier than he'd expected (he was perhaps looking forward to telling Mario 'I told you so' a little too much). He took a step forward, but a familiar prickle on the back of his neck stopped him from going further. The same feeling that (very occasionally) reminded him to check for ghosts before he rushed to get into the next room of a mansion, was flaring up now. It was enough to make Luigi reassess the situation.

Bowser was letting him have the contract. Luigi wanted to get the contract. He should just take it, shouldn't he?

However, if Luigi took it now (from behind Bowser's back, stealing even though he'd sort of been given permission) then it would be his fault that everything didn't go the way Bowser expected. He'd be to blame and Bowser could paint himself as the victim and use that to justify behaving badly.

"No," Luigi said, heart in his mouth.

"What?" Bowser growled, stiffening.

"No," Luigi repeated. "I want you to hand it to me."

Bowser turned to fully face Luigi. He didn't make a move to pick up the contract. Luigi was intimately familiar with fear, but he couldn't figure out why the simple act of Bowser looking at him neutrally was so scary.

"Why?" Bowser said.

"Because I don't want to feel like a thief for doing the right thing," Luigi said.

Bowser ran his hand through his hair as he tipped his head back in pure exasperation. Luigi, emboldened by the fact that he wasn't getting shouted at yet, took a step closer to the workbench.

"Figures that the time you finally stand up for yourself was the moment I wanted you to do it least," Bowser said.

Luigi blinked. "I'm not standing up for myself. Am I?"

"Then what do you call this?"

"This isn't about me," Luigi said. "I think it would be good for you."

"I don't need stuff that's good for me," Bowser said. "I'm the bad guy."

"But that doesn't mean you have to be a bad person," Luigi said. "Can… can you hand it to me, please?"

Bowser sighed and his shoulders slumped. Luigi did his best to stand his ground; this was important and he didn't want to mess it up. If he could be firm about this now, then maybe it would have knock-on effects on Bowser's attitude later.

"You think I can look you in the eye and let you go?" Bowser said, resignation clear on his face.

What did he mean by that? It was easy for people to let Luigi go, just like he always got left behind. And it was more confusing when you took into account that the contract was a marriage contract. Why would Bowser want to stay married to someone he —

Oh.

Oh!

"But… but I'm just me," Luigi said in disbelief. "I'm not anyone special."

"Of course you are," Bowser scoffed. "You're a hero. An excellent addition to my kingdom. And the best caregiver Junior's ever had."

Luigi felt blood rush to his face in embarrassment. Anyone would have done what he did in his position. He wasn't smarter than your average Toad or braver than your average Koopa. He wasn't special. He wasn't Mario.

"You're amazing," Bowser said, putting his heavy hands on Luigi's shoulders. "And anyone who says different is an idiot."

"But I'm not," Luigi insisted, willing Bowser to understand.

Bowser was so brave and strong. He was a king surrounded by endless loyal subjects. He was powerful and almost unstoppable in everything he did. He had a kid who he loved and loved him in return.

How could Luigi ever measure up?

Bowser growled something nasty under his breath about Toads. He looked like he dearly wanted to shake some sense into Luigi.

"You are," Bowser said in a tone that brooked no argument. "Have I ever been wrong about anything?"

"Well…"

"Never mind," Bowser said quickly. "Look, do you like me?"

No one had ever asked Luigi that without a sting of mockery behind the words. Bowser was asking genuinely and that was terrifying.

And Luigi — did he like Bowser? The instinctive answer was no, not after years of being on opposite sides. But somewhere during a month-long forced proximity, they'd gotten to know each other, gotten to — dare he say — trust each other. Bowser had looked after and protected Luigi far more than the contract had asked for, and he'd even let Luigi look after his son.

Luigi was comfortable around Bowser in a way he rarely was with anyone. Spending time together was usually enjoyable. If Luigi was asked to choose between a stay at a luxury hotel on the coast and visiting Bowser's castle, he'd pick the castle (and not just because he had a bad experience or two with surprise invitations).

And sometimes, Luigi felt himself smiling when he looked at Bowser for no other reason than it was Bowser he was looking at.

Luigi looked down and nodded.

"Good, because I like you too," Bowser said. "What does anything else matter?"

Luigi glanced at the marriage contract, lying innocently on the workbench with its rusty scarlet signatures. Even if Bowser wasn't lying, it would be madness to act like there wasn't an axe hanging over them.

"The contract matters," Luigi said as firmly as he could.

Bowser's claws tightened for a moment before he released Luigi to cross his arms over his plastron. Luigi hugged himself, oddly bereft from the lack of warm heavy hands grounding him.

"No, it doesn't," Bowser said. "It's only a problem if we don't want to be together. Which we do, so it's not a problem."

"That's not how — I don't think —" Luigi tripped over his words. "I don't want to be coerced into anything."

"You've already agreed! This isn't coercion," Bowser grumbled.

"I want to be able to go back to the Mushroom Kingdom without worrying that you're going to drag me back on a whim," Luigi said. "I want to be able to give my friends a hug without being zapped for infidelity over nothing. Don't you want that freedom?"

"Not if it means you can leave!" Bowser said.

"I don't want to stay here!" Luigi said.

Bowser snarled and slammed his fist into the workbench, rattling the delicate clamps holding the contract down. Luigi swallowed, mouth dry.

"You agreed!" Bowser said.

"I —" Luigi took a hitching breath. "I can change my mind?"

It came out as far more of a question than Luigi intended. He kicked himself. He needed to stay strong, now of all times.

"I see how it is," Bowser said, voice heavy with loathing. Though Luigi knew what it was like to have Bowser annoyed at him and this sounded oddly self-directed. "The truth comes out about you not wanting to be my princess."

"I'm not a princess and I don't want to be your wife," Luigi said. "I'm not a girl."

"Semantics," Bowser scoffed. "You don't want to be married to me."

"Well, no," Luigi said.

Bowser reared back like he'd been slapped. Luigi winced. That hadn't been that abrupt, had it?

"Then I'm not giving up this contract!" Bowser said furiously

"Wait, that's —" Luigi replayed the conversation so far in his head. "Look, can I try to explain? Without interruptions?"

Bowser crossed his arms and snorted out smoke. Luigi waited, twisting his fingers together. Finally, Bowser gave a short nod.

If only Luigi had used that time to think of what to say.

"I don't want to be married to you," Luigi said. He was clear on that much, at least. "I've barely gotten to know you over the past few weeks —"

"Month," Bowser said.

"— month. Yeah. Even a whole month, it's… it's too fast," Luigi said. "And with a magical contract that interferes with my life so much. I can't. The Mushroom Kingdom is my home, and maybe I'll come to think differently of here, but I haven't yet. That's part of me."

Luigi looked at Bowser hopefully. Bowser's expression didn't change.

"So your great idea for getting to know each other is for you to leave?" Bowser said flatly.

Luigi nodded. "I want — need — to be me. And that means spending time where I feel most comfortable. Even if I also want to try something… new."

Bowser huffed out a mouthful of smoke, but it sounded more like a resigned sigh than anything really annoyed. Luigi straightened and managed a smile.

"The contract is a pain," Bowser allowed.

"It is," Luigi said, relieved. "So, can I have it to give to Kamek?"

Bowser glared at the contract. Luigi waited. Patience was often the key in these situations. Knowing when to push and when to let Bowser think things over and come to his own conclusions. It was weird how much Luigi had picked up over the past month.

Bowser muttered something under his breath. Luigi thought he heard the word kidnap somewhere in there, but he wasn't sure and he didn't want to derail things even further.

"Are you sure you don't want me to keep trying to take out the bad parts?" Bowser said at length. "I've nearly figured out how to stop the zapping, some of the time. We can keep the marriage."

"It's not marriage or nothing," Luigi said, quite reasonably, he thought.

Bowser picked up the contract. It looked so flimsy in his big clawed hands that it was hard to believe it had been the cause of so much upset. He sighed a thick mouthful of smoke and then glanced at Luigi. Luigi held his hand out, trying not to let his arm shake.

"Please," Luigi said.

Bowser closed his eyes in resignation. He dropped the contract into Luigi's outstretched hand.

"Sometimes I hate you," Bowser said.

Luigi nodded. "Thank you."

Bowser's eyes snapped open and he glared at Luigi. Luigi clutched the contract to his chest, nervous again. How had one small request wound up with such an emotional rollercoaster of a conversation?

"Get out," Bowser growled.

"I —" Luigi swallowed. "Okay."

Luigi just about managed to keep his feet as he stumbled out of Bowser's room. Once he was back in the corridor, he had to use the wall for support. Had he really managed that? He felt sick and giddy in a way that made him feel like he was going to pass out.

Somehow, he'd gotten the contract without a physical fight and managed to stand up for himself against Bowser and admitted that he would be okay with starting a relationship. Possibly.

Luigi took a shaky breath. He looked at the contract in his hands, crumpled from how tightly he was holding it, and set off. Whatever happened next, he was finally going to get rid of the cause of this entire mess.

It took a bit of asking, but eventually, Luigi found Kamek in his study (which really should have been his first port of call, even considering his run-down state). Mario was there too when Luigi arrived, trying to suggest that they could dispel the contract from a distance — which Kamek was adamantly against.

"The entire castle has spells woven into the very mortar!" Kamek snapped, clutching the scroll to his robes. "The best case would still see it come down on our heads! And the worst possible scenario is too horrible to even imagine!"

"Okay, okay, it was just a suggestion," Mario said. He caught sight of Luigi. "Hey, Bro! Any luck?"

Luigi held up the contract. "Told you I could get it without fighting."

"Nice one," Mario said, giving him a thumbs up.

Luigi held the contract out to Kamek. There was something sad behind Kamek's glasses as he regarded the crumpled yellowed paper.

"I do hope you were gentle," Kamek sighed. "Now, shoo, the pair of you."

He took the contract and shut the door in their faces.

Luigi let out a long breath. It was almost strange how simple it had been. It was finally over. This was a good thing. No more being held against his will. No more icy shocks for forgetting what he was saying to who. Nothing stood between him and finally, finally, going home.

Luigi slumped against the opposite wall until he hit the floor. If it was such a good thing, why did it make him feel so bad?

"I know it's the right thing to do," Luigi said, more to himself than anyone else.

"But…" Mario prompted.

"But…" Luigi sighed. "I wish it wasn't. I wish I still had it as a safety net."

Mario frowned at him, clearly wondering why Luigi would want to be stuck married to Bowser.

"If Bowser goes after Peach again, we'll stop him. Like we always do," Mario said slowly.

"I'm not worried about Peach," Luigi said. "Bowser's not interested in her right now — well, he probably still is a bit. Or a lot. It'd be impossible for him to be completely interested in someone like, well —"

"Luigi," Mario cut off his rambling with wide eyes, "are you interested in Bowser?!"

Luigi buried his face in his hands with a groan in reply. Mario knew him well enough to interpret any action correctly.

Mario sat down against the wall next to Luigi and slung an arm around his shoulders. An old, familiar motion that had been there for Luigi's whole life.

"How do you get yourself into these messes, Bro?" Mario asked, nearly succeeding in injecting humour into his voice.

"By being an emotionally messy coward," Luigi said into his hands.

Mario squeezed him. Luigi leant against Mario. It was going to be so nice going back to the Mushroom Kingdom and getting to spend some time with his brother. Of course, now he had an unbelievable pull to stay at Bowser's castle too.

If only Bowser might be persuadable to come and stay in the Mushroom Kingdom for a bit, though Mario and Luigi's house wasn't exactly built on his scale. Why couldn't Luigi have fallen for someone who wasn't twice his height and covered in spikes?

"Why him?" Mario asked.

"He's… he likes me," Luigi said. Maybe if he said it enough then he would believe it.

"That's not a good reason," Mario said.

"I know, but it's still important to me," Luigi said. "And… he's nice — no, that's not the right word. He cares, about more people than just me." He tugged on his moustache, annoyed with himself. "Why am I so bad at this? I mean: I've liked spending time with him, especially this past week or so. It's been comfortable and… nice, I guess. I'm not really helping my case, am I?"

Mario chuckled. "Alright, I'll make it easy for you. Just tell me one thing you like about Bowser specifically. Take away the castle and the situation and everything else. If you'd met him on vacation and hit it off, what would you remember about him in a positive way? The first thing that comes to mind, just blurt it out."

"He's strong," Luigi said. He registered his words and groaned, hiding his red face again. "Sorry."

"I asked for it," Mario said.

"Remember when we were planning to liberate the Mushroom Kingdom?" Luigi said. "And Bowser just coordinated everything so… so powerfully. I think I liked that. Not that I realised at the time, but looking back I was more impressed with everything than I expected."

"Alright, alright, enough." Mario elbowed Luigi.

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine," Mario said. "I just wanted to make sure you were thinking about this because you want it, not just because someone else wants you to."

It was a valid concern, Luigi could admit to himself. He wasn't always the best at declining activities he didn't want to do if someone asked him beseechingly.

An impossibly loud roar echoed through the castle corridors. Luigi shrank further down into his shoulders. Bowser was probably upset over Luigi's actions and now it was a fight not to feel guilty about doing the right thing.

"Him, really?" Mario said, amused as he nudged Luigi.

"I never said I was smart," Luigi said into his knees.

Kamek opened his study door and blinked in surprise at seeing Mario and Luigi sitting on the floor across the hall. He rushed over to them.

"What are you two still doing here?" Kamek hissed. "If His Majesty finds you here — oh, I dread to think what he'll do."

Mario got to his feet and put his hand on Luigi's shoulder. Luigi forced himself upright. His gut was squirming horribly. There was a clear choice in front of him and the decision he made would change things; possibly irrevocably.

"I'll head off soon,' Mario said. "Luigi?"

"I…" Luigi swallowed hard.

Kamek frowned up at him. "Princess?"

"I'm not a princess," Luigi said instinctively.

This was it. There was no way out of it. He couldn't not make a choice. Luigi opened his mouth, chickened out of it, took a deep breath, and tried again.

"I'm going to come back to the Mushroom Kingdom tomorrow," Luigi decided.

"I thought you wanted to stay here?" Mario said, confused.

"You did?" Kamek said, bewildered.

"I want to go home," Luigi said, trying and failing to keep the tremor out of his voice. "But… I think if I leave right now, I'll mess everything up. I just need a bit more time to make sure I haven't burnt all my bridges here."

"Burnt all your… What are you talking about?" Kamek said.

"I…" Luigi swallowed. "I want to make sure Bowser's okay."

Kamek peered at Luigi suspiciously. "You want to check on His Forsakeness? Why?"

"Because… because…"

"Because he's got a crush," Mario filled in.

"Mario!" Luigi yelped.

"What?!" Kamek's beak dropped and he gaped at Mario and Luigi.

Mario sidestepped Luigi's retaliatory elbow. Luigi shrugged awkwardly under Kamek's stare, face hot.

"If that's the case, why did you insist on breaking the contract?" Kamek asked, regaining a little composure.

"Because it wasn't good," Luigi said. "That's not the point. The point is, I'd like to stay tonight and head back home tomorrow."

Kamek hummed. He took off his glasses and polished them on his sleeve. One lens still had a crack; he should probably have gotten that fixed before attempting such an important magical dispelling.

"I trust you are aware that the longer you drag this out, the harder the break will be," Kamek said.

Luigi nodded. Kamek peered suspiciously at Luigi for a long minute. He must have eventually seen what he wanted to because he patted Luigi on the elbow and then shuffled back into his lab, muttering all the while.

Mario clapped his hand on Luigi's shoulder.

"I'll come looking if I don't see you by dinner tomorrow," Mario said.

Luigi appreciated the safety net. He offered Mario what he hoped was a determined smile. Mario hugged him, and Luigi clutched back.

"Thank you, Bro," Luigi said.

"Anytime." Mario patted Luigi on the back and then pulled away. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Count on it," Luigi said.

Mario waved and headed for the front doors. That was probably for the best; Luigi wasn't sure if he'd have been able to sum up the courage to leave Mario when he was feeling this off-kilter. He gave his moustache one last tug and then set off for his own destination, deep in the castle.

The closer Luigi got to the royal suites, the fewer staff and soldiers he saw. It could just be that they were focused on the potential threat to the castle (Mario), but he had a feeling it was more down to Bowser's temper scaring them off.

Which wasn't exactly encouraging. Luigi steeled himself and followed the familiar path to his bedroom and his destination next door.

This time the ornate doors to Bowser's room were closed. Luigi put his shoulder against a door and pushed with all his might. Thankfully, it wasn't locked and Luigi managed to inch it open just enough to slip through the gap. He debated shoving it closed again, but he wanted a quick escape route if things went badly (and, in Luigi's experience, they often did).

Bowser was dramatically lying on his back on his bed on top of the covers. A set of curtains had been shredded and there were several extra scorch marks on the walls. The rug in the middle of the room was mostly ash.

Luigi gulped at the destruction and crept forwards, well aware that he didn't have any magical protection anymore.

"Go away, Kamek," Bowser growled with a real threat in his voice (Luigi hadn't heard that directed at him in so long). "You can wait until tomorrow to fix the curtains."

"I'm not Kamek," Luigi said.

Bowser's gaze snapped to him. Then he sat up quickly, fumbling against the give of the mattress.

"What are you doing here?" Bowser asked. He bared his fangs. "Here to laugh at me?"

"No!" Luigi said quickly. "No, of course not. I'm… I'm here because… because…" he slumped, "I don't know. I thought maybe you'd been serious and —"

Bowser was in front of Luigi before he could ramble further. Luigi's mouth went dry as he thought about the claws and teeth and flames that could hurt him now if he'd misread the situation. He had to believe that Bowser wanted him unhurt.

"The contract is broken. I felt it," Bowser said. "So why are you here?"

"Because this last month was better than I thought it would be," Luigi said in a rush. "Because you might be a bit mean at times and don't think things through, but you believe I'm better than I am and that's really nice."

"Wow," Bowser said flatly. "That has got to be the least impressive reason for making a decision. Way to make me feel wanted."

"I didn't mean —"

"If you're just trying to keep me from kidnapping Peach, give up," Bowser growled. "It's going to take much more effort than this half-hearted seduction attempt."

"I don't —"

"So stop mocking me and get lost," Bowser finished, letting smoke curl from his mouth as a final threat.

"I'm not mocking you!" Luigi shouted.

He clapped his hands out his mouth in horror. He hated it when people yelled at him and tried to avoid doing it to anyone else. Yet, the low-level disgust that had been on Bowser's face since Luigi's return to his room had finally shifted into a much more welcome intrigue.

"I'm not — I would never —" Luigi said insistently. "I'm sorry that I don't know what I'm doing, but I still want to try. Genuinely."

A blunt-edged sharp-tipped claw hooked under Luigi's chin and forced him to look up at Bowser (he hadn't even realised he'd been staring at his feet). Luigi was going to be able to take on hundreds of haunted mansions with no problem because King Boo could never inspire this heart-in-his-mouth, gut-wrenching fear that Luigi was going to mess up something so important.

"You mean that?" Bowser said, almost tentatively. "That wasn't just a trick to get the contract?"

"I wouldn't do that," Luigi said. The idea was horrible — who would even do that?

"So you're gonna stay?"

Luigi shook his head. "I can't. I have to go back to the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Then what's the point of anything?!" Bowser threw his hands up. He huffed. "Do you need me to kidnap you?"

"No! I don't want you to kidnap anyone!" Luigi said earnestly. "I have to go back. The Mushroom Kingdom is my home. I've got friends there and — and a house! And I want to eat the food I like without having to spend hours explaining what it is." He took a deep breath. "But, just because I have to go, it doesn't mean that I won't come back."

He wasn't sure how things would work out exactly, he'd never tried a long-distance relationship before, but floating the idea was still useful. Hopefully.

"No one comes back," Bowser said dismissively. "You're staying or you're going, there's no in-between."

Technically speaking, Luigi supposed, he was either here or not, like Bowser said. However, that didn't take into account the fact that neither of those states were permanent. He'd had visitors; why was the idea so tricky?

"I need to go home," Luigi reiterated, "but I'd like to try coming back to visit."

"Yeah, sure you will," Bowser said, rolling his eyes.

"I will," Luigi said. A horrible thought struck him as to why Bowser was being so difficult about this. "Unless… unless you don't want me to?"

"I want you to stay here," Bowser argued. "How hard is that to understand?"

Luigi sighed. Maybe this wasn't meant to be after all. If they couldn't come to an understanding over something like this, then would they ever be able to agree on anything?

"Don't leave," Bowser said, coming closer to grab Luigi by the shoulders again. "Please."

"I have to," Luigi said. "But… not tonight, if — if you'd like me to stay?"

It came out more of a question than he'd intended. There was something he was missing, Luigi realised. Something about why Bowser didn't want him to go. This wasn't like Junior's reaction to being told he was going to lose his favourite babysitter, it was more like Luigi's certainty that the letterbox was going to snap shut on his hand one day and take his fingers off (he was working on it, he even got the post most days, but it was still an irrational fear he had to live with).

"It's a start," Bowser said grumpily.

He took his hands back. Again, the loss made Luigi bite his lip, almost wanting that surety back. It was easier to find his courage when he could borrow Bowser's.

"Is it okay if we talk about this being long-distance for a bit?" Luigi asked carefully.

"Fine," Bowser said shortly.

"Okay," Luigi said. He took a deep breath, unsure where to start. "What… why don't you think I'll come back to visit?"

"Because no one ever does."

"Your aunt and uncle visited just this month," Luigi pointed out.

"Yeah, and they manage once or twice a year," Bowser said. "And that's with family obligations forcing them to do that much."

"I thought you said they didn't visit often for health reasons," Luigi said.

Bowser waved his hand dismissively. "Details."

What was Luigi missing here? Bowser was being weirdly clingy — though maybe that wasn't as much of a surprise as it initially seemed, given what Luigi knew about him and his history. Bowser often ended up grouchy for the rest of the day when one of the Koopalings left too. They always came back, but Bowser had been more surprised and pleased than anyone else when Lemmy had dropped in for a weekend visit out of the blue.

Bowser had his aunt and uncle stay over, despite failing to get the princess he'd wanted and having to put up with their disappointment. He'd forced his whole army to return to his castle instead of taking up Peach on her offer of hospitality, just so Luigi wouldn't try to escape. And Luigi could clearly remember Bowser reacting disproportionately aggressively when questioned about a mother who had 'left' him.

"Are you afraid I'll abandon you?" Luigi asked in disbelief.

Bowser bristled. "I'm not afraid of anything."

That wasn't a denial, exactly. Was it really that simple? Had it really been so obvious all along?

"Who never came back?" Luigi asked.

"Everyone. No one." Bowser crossed his arms. "It doesn't matter. You want to leave, so why do you care?"

"You know, if you didn't spend so much time kidnapping people, they'd probably be happier to stay," Luigi said.

"But then they'd never come at all!" Bowser said with an annoyed hiss of smoke.

"That's… not entirely wrong," Luigi admitted. "No, wait — people come when you've hosted sports tournaments, right?"

"Because I steal the prize trophies," Bowser said. "They're just coming to get them back."

"Well… maybe," Luigi said. Bowser did that so often it was hard to tell if it was true or not. "But they haven't been angry about that for years now. Everyone always looks forward to the race courses you commission. They're way more intense than the simple loops Peach gets me to design."

Bowser looked sceptical. Luigi had a feeling that even if he came up with reasonable counter-arguments to everything Bowser said, he still wouldn't persuade him. It had taken Mario a long time to understand that logic didn't work against Luigi's fears and that if he wanted to help Luigi then he'd have to try different ways (and, to Mario's credit, he often found something that got Luigi to follow along, even if it wasn't always his first suggestion). It was surreal being on the other side of the argument for once.

"And… and you wouldn't have such a loyal army if the Koopas and Goombas didn't think you were worth sticking with," Luigi tried.

"I'm the king," Bowser said, as though it was obvious. "That's why I have followers."

"You don't have followers because you're the king," Luigi said. "You're the king because you have followers."

"You just said the same thing twice," Bowser grumbled.

Royalty. Couldn't be more messed up if they tried.

"I can't really speak for anyone else, but I promise that I'll come back," Luigi said. "And I bet there are plenty of other people who feel the same way. Like — like I doubt Junior's going to abandon you."

"Of course not, he's just spent the past year talking about the way-point fort he wants to occupy for some other reason," Bowser said sarcastically. "Come on. He can't wait to see the last of me. It's not like I wanted to hang around with my dad when I was his age."

Luigi considered reasoning his way through the fact that those weren't equivalent examples, given what little he knew of Bowser's father, but he had a feeling that would fall on just as deaf ears as everything else he'd tried so far. He was in over his head. There was no way he was going to be able to untangle everything this quickly, even if he'd been trained to begin with.

"I think that you should talk to someone about… all that," Luigi said slowly. "Someone who isn't me or anyone you work with regularly."

"Right," Bowser rolled his eyes, "I'll just find someone who isn't scared of me either and — oh, wait."

"It doesn't have to be immediately," Luigi said reassuringly.

"I can't believe you said you liked me an hour ago and already you're trying to get me to go to therapy," Bowser grumbled. "What happened to for better or for worse?"

"We're not married anymore," Luigi pointed out.

Bowser snorted in amusement, dispelling the worst of the lingering unpleasant mood. Luigi let his shoulders relax. He hadn't ruined everything. They were still able to talk things through. Whether it was contract-formed habit by this point or (hopefully) something else, Bowser wasn't threatening Luigi either. This could work.

Luigi's bubble of elation was starting to return. Even if he felt like everything could come crashing down at any point, this was still good.

"What if I try to work on something too?" Luigi asked. Incentives usually worked with Junior. "I know there's a ton of stuff I could do better at."

"Like what?" Bowser asked, cocking his head.

Luigi thought. "What about… You don't like me saying sorry so often. What if I made more of an effort to cut down on that?"

"Alright," Bowser said, warming to the idea. "For every useless therapy session I have to sit through, you have to stop apologising for a month."

"A month!" Luigi yelped. "I can't do that! I could do… an hour?"

"A week," Bowser bargained.

"A morning."

"A full day."

"A…" Luigi considered. "Okay. A day. But —" he held up a finger, "— that doesn't start until after breakfast."

"Done."

Bowser held out his hand. Luigi shook it. By now he was used to the prickle of claws on his forearm and the best way to leave his arm limp so he didn't get his shoulder wrenched by Bowser being too enthusiastic.

"But don't use me messing up as an excuse not to go," Luigi said. "If you manage it more then that means you're better than me."

Bowser snapped his fingers in (hopefully fake) disappointment. Luigi managed a smile. It was… nice, being in each others' company like this. Just existing and talking.

Bowser sighed heavily. "You still want to leave, despite me pouring my heart out, don't you."

"Yes," Luigi said. "Is that — will you be okay?"

"If I say no, will you stay?" Bowser asked, sounding like he already knew the answer.

Luigi shook his head. Bowser huffed.

"I hate this," Bowser grumbled. "Why'd you have to make me consider that my actions have consequences?"

"I'll come back," Luigi promised.

Bowser looked away. Luigi bit his lip. Why couldn't he have brought this up in the morning when he'd intended to leave? Now he was going to spend the night stressing about how things were going to go and it looked like Bowser was going to have similar worries gnawing away at him.

"I'm sorry," Luigi said.

"So you should be," Bowser said. "First you corrupt my son — I heard him apologise for bumping into someone the other day! — and now you're using your cuteness to take advantage of me and make me agree to stuff."

"You think I'm cute?" Luigi blinked, poleaxed.

Bowser grinned. Luigi had a terrible premonition that he had fallen for an obvious distraction. He could try to get them back on track (once he'd stopped blushing quite so hard), but maybe they both needed to talk about something else for a bit. Give it time to let what they'd already discussed have a chance to sink in.

"Hey, I've got excellent taste," Bowser said. "Especially when it comes to good-looking Mushroom Folk."

Luigi buried his red face in his hands. There was no way he was going to be able to return to their previous topic of conversation now.

Because he wasn't looking, he didn't notice Bowser step closer until his hat was tugged off and sharp claws slid through his hair, itching his scalp. Luigi jumped and looked up at him. It felt like the most intimate thing Luigi had ever done — and he'd sat in Bowser's lap before.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that," Bowser said, scritching Luigi's head again.

"I…" Luigi's face somehow managed to get even hotter. His voice cracked when he asked: "Really?"

Luigi took his hat back but didn't put it back on his head. Bowser's claws (something that Luigi had never considered could be used for something so delicate) brushed through Luigi's hair one last time before he lifted Luigi's chin with a thumb and finger.

"I'm going to make you blush so much," Bowser said, grinning.

Luigi pulled his hat back on and tugged the brim down over his eyes. How could Bowser say stuff like that without getting flustered? How could he say it to Luigi and still be serious?

Bowser chuckled and let go of Luigi's chin. Luigi already missed the contact.

"Adorable."

Luigi almost didn't trust himself to speak. Somehow he'd never considered that Bowser being overtly interested in him would be harder to deal with than Bowser being fully antagonistic. At least then he could run away when he got overwhelmed, instead of this tangle of wanting to have more attention and also hide in a corner until his heartbeat returned to normal.

"So… we're — we're going to try this?" Luigi said, still not entirely believing that he wasn't having a weird dream from eating too much bruschetta before bed.

"Don't tell me you're already having second thoughts," Bowser said.

"No, but, are you?"

"Luigi," Bowser said flatly (Luigi couldn't help the little pleased thrill that ran through him at being addressed by name), "I have never had a second thought in my life, ever. I want you; it's as simple as that."

Well, at least one of them could be confident about the way things were going. But then, if Luigi wasn't worried about something then that would be concerning.

Luigi stepped forward and pressed his hand to Bowser's chest. Bowser stilled, not even breathing, as Luigi closed the distance entirely and hugged him. His hands barely reached the outer ridge of Bowser's carapace. Bowser tentatively curled his arms around Luigi in turn, encasing him in warm scales. His heartbeat was slow against Luigi's ear behind the solid wall of his plastron.

"I'm not going to stop being me and deprive the world of this much awesome," Bowser said.

"I know," Luigi said, more comfortable with the idea than he'd ever been. "Me too. I'm not going to change to like kidnapping, you know."

Bowser harrumphed, but he pulled Luigi even closer and nuzzled his hair, knocking his hat askew.

"I guess I can live with that."