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He and Meliorn are an usual pair, Raphael thinks. They’re both stoic and reserved, but where Raphael broods, Meliorn is pensive. Raphael is dark and Meliorn is bright. Raphael glares and Meliorn smirks. Raphael has never known anything but the city and Meliorn is part of the forest. Raphael dresses in suits and leather jackets and Meliorn wears armour and loose tunics. They shouldn’t work together, but they do.
Raphael doesn’t know exactly when he fell for Meliorn. In their early interactions, Raphael felt nothing more than casual respect for a fellow Downworlder who knew better than to get caught up in the Shadowhunters’ drama. Then suddenly he was falling.
And Meliorn was too.
If Raphael has to say when they changed, he would say just after Magnus was rescued from Edom. Raphael still feels guilty that he hadn’t been there for his old friend, but he’d been so busy trying to get his clan back under control. He’d gone to Meliorn afterwards to thank him for helping to save Magnus. Why, he still doesn’t know. He didn’t do the same for any of the others who’d gone, but he needed to do so for Meliorn.
Raphael remembers the two of them talking. Then there’s a blur when Meliorn’s lips ghosted over his. Raphael remembers leaning into his touch more than he ever expected but holding back. Meliorn has a reputation. Raphael remembers trying to explain to him that he can’t give him sex. Meliorn had laughed softly.
“I don’t mind,” He’d said, “Sex isn’t necessary to a relationship.”
Raphael had scoffed at that, but Meliorn had taken his hand and held it tightly.
“I haven’t been… close to anyone in a long, long time. There’s been sex, but it’s empty. I want more. And I like you. If giving up sex means I can be with you, then I shall do so.”
Seelies can’t lie.
Raphael hates it when people try to use Meliorn’s blood against him, but the blunt honesty had let his walls come down. He’d been able to trust that Meliorn meant what he said, because Raphael does not give his heart away easily. It showed that Meliorn trusted him too, to give him a straight answer.
He’d leaned forward and pressed his lips to Meliorn’s.
Raphael had never dreamed that a kiss could feel like that. Warm. Gentle. Caring. No desire for anything more. Just enjoyment of what is. Raphael craved more, not deeper, or more sensual, but he wanted that feeling every day of his life if he could have it.
And he does.
He and Meliorn don’t tell anyone about their relationship. They feel no need to announce something so close and private to the world. What they feel for each other belongs to no one else.
Raphael has never been happier. He has his clan back. The Shadowhunters are more accepting of Downworlders than ever. And having someone to go home to at the end of the night makes it all the sweeter. They may have demon blood, but Meliorn’s arms feel heavenly when he wraps them around Raphael’s body. Meliorn’s hair feels like silk when he rests his head in Raphael’s lap and lets Raphael run his fingers through it.
They’ve been together for only a year when Meliorn suggests having a child. Raphael thinks he’s joking, until Meliorn reminds him that he can’t lie. He sits Raphael down amongst leaves and canopies and tells him that he loves him. Meliorn has told him he loves him many times before, but there’s something in his voice, a vulnerability that Raphael has never heard before. He gives Meliorn his hand to hold while the Seelie explains in a rush that he wants a family. He tells Raphael that he grew up alone, his family dead before he ever really knew them. Raphael stays silent as Meliorn confesses that he’s always wanted his own family but had buried the desire deep and pretended it wasn’t there. Raphael is stunned when Meliorn tells him that their year together is enough to ignite the feeling again; too strong to ignore anymore.
Raphael had talked a lot about his own family to Meliorn. He knows that loneliness all too well, but he had no idea how Meliorn was suffering with it. Meliorn’s eyes are glistening. Raphael opens his arms and lets Meliorn fall into them.
He doesn’t have a chance to say anything before Meliorn is rambling about how the Seelies have a spell to bud new life, so they wouldn’t have to have sex to conceive. Raphael strokes his hair and thinks. Family has been important to him his whole life. As a mundane, he’d always assumed he’d have his own family one day, even if he’d never thought about the how. When he became a vampire, he gave up on that dream.
To have that back now… what would that mean?
Bringing an innocent life into his hell. But vampirism isn’t so bad anymore. Fulfilling his mother’s wish for him. Proving that he’s a better man than his father was.
“Alright.” He says.
Meliorn kisses him with lips that burn with happiness.
Raphael is not a morning person. Or evening person, depending on how you looked at it. He covets and guards his sleep like a dragon. When he wakes to his shoulder being shaken, he wants to bite the offending hand off completely. But it’s Meliorn, of course, and Raphael would never do anything to him. Instead, he groans and cracks one eyelid open. Meliorn is staring down at him with a face of pure innocence.
“What is it?” Raphael grumbles.
“I can’t sleep.”
“How is that my problem?” Raphael complains, as he rolls over to face Meliorn and sits up. “Is anything wrong?”
Meliorn nuzzles up against Raphael’s side. “No. I’m just a little… restless.” He sighs and caresses his rounded belly.
Raphael’s hand joins him in tracing the stretch marks across the swollen skin. “Can I get you anything?”
Meliorn shakes his head. “Just hold me for a while.”
Raphael smiles and opens his arms to Meliorn, letting the Seelie settle in his embrace. Meliorn lies back against his chest and tucks his head under Raphael’s chin. Raphael rests his hands on Meliorn’s belly. The skin is warm, but there’s no movement from beneath it. The baby must be asleep.
Green sparks of light dance around Meliorn’s fingers. The flower buds on the opposite wall start to blossom. The petals burst with colour, Seelie magic making the hues more vibrant than anything in the mortal world could.
“Beautiful.” Raphael murmurs.
Meliorn huffs. His fingers strum the air and the flowers dance and twist. Raphael doesn’t understand how Meliorn can be dissatisfied with something so lovely, but pregnancy has made Meliorn very particular. Raphael doesn’t mind.
In fact, he finds hilarious during the Downworld cabinet meetings. Meliorn is well known for his attention to detail, for being able to strip away anyone’s deceptions and half-truths with just a few words, but since the pregnancy, he’s been truly awful with it. He scrutinises every negotiation and compromise to find any and every hole. Even the ones that don’t concern the Seelies at all aren’t spared his scorn, which has met for very difficult meetings. Raphael doesn’t mind. It’s a source of entertainment, watching Meliorn talk rings around Maia and Isabelle and vex Lorenzo to high heaven.
Of course, none of them pick up on the amused looks Raphael and Meliorn share across the table. Their impending arrival isn’t enough of a reason to make their relationship public. They’d probably keep the baby a secret too, but that’s much harder to hide. By the time Meliorn had hit 6 months, even his baggiest tunics couldn’t disguise his belly: especially in such keen eyed company.
They’d been so shocked when they figured it out. Isabelle especially. It had nearly derailed the whole meeting until Raphael put them back on track with his usual apathetic act. He knows the other three are in hot debate about who the father is. At least Meliorn’s reputation has its benefits in aiding with their secrecy.
Something nudges at Raphael’s palm. Meliorn sighs despairingly.
“I was hoping it would sleep for a while longer. I would like a little more time without my insides being assaulted.”
“Sorry.”
Meliorn just huffs, tilting his head back against Raphael’s chest. He takes Raphael’s hands and places them either side of his belly. The baby kicks, squirms, and then settles. Meliorn sighs in relief.
“Now that the little one’s quiet, I think I’ll go back to sleep.” he says.
Raphael smiles. He presses a kiss to the tip of Meliorn’s ear. “Sweet dreams.”
Three hours later, Raphael is sure Meliorn isn’t asleep any more. The Seelie had dozed for about an hour or so before stirring. He seems to be pretending to sleep though, so Raphael lets him. He also pretends not to notice the way Meliorn tenses every twenty minutes, breath hitching. Raphael had enough siblings to recognise the signs. But if Meliorn wants to stay like this, Raphael will let him.
His hands are still on Meliorn’s belly. He hears Meliorn’s breath hitch each time he tenses again and feels Meliorn’s belly tighten. The muscles beneath the skin are taught. Meliorn lets out a quiet groan. Unfocused eyes open. Before Raphael can say anything, Meliorn nearly throws himself from the bed- as much as one can when 9 months pregnant. If Raphael was forced to choose a description, he’d probably call the motion a lurch. He follows Meliorn from the sheets, hand hovering cautiously over the Seelie’s shoulder. Meliorn regains his balance and starts pacing the room with the air of a caged tiger. Intimidated, Raphael stands back. Meliorn pays him no mind.
After a lap and a half of being ignored, Raphael reaches out and gently puts a hand on Meliorn’s shoulder. Meliorn’s head whips around to face him, eyes wide with surprise, as if he’d forgotten Raphael was even there.
“What’s wrong?” Raphael asks.
Meliorn sinks into Raphael’s side. His head nestles into the crook of Raphael’s shoulder and his fingers grip Raphael’s shirt tightly.
“The pains are increasing. It felt-” He muffles a pained sound into Raphael’s shirt. “It felt as though I would explode if I stayed still a moment longer.”
That’s familiar. Raphael remembers how restless his mother was during her labours. He nuzzles Meliorn’s cheek. “Will you be alright?”
Meliorn lifts his head to press a chaste kiss to Raphael’s lips. “Yes. It was unexpected, but I’ll be fine.”
Then he sucks in a sharp breath and lets it out slowly. His grip tightens, his focus inward. Raphael presses his hands into Meliorn’s tight lower back. Meliorn sighs in relief.
“Keep doing that.” He demands.
Raphael smiles and does so.
When the contraction passes, Meliorn resumes his pacing. This time, Raphael follows a step behind, ready to knead into Meliorn’s already abused muscles. Meliorn grunts, rolling his hips to try and alleviate the growing pressure.
“It’s alright. Relax.” Raphael soothes.
Meliorn glares at him over his shoulder. “Relax?”
Raphael ducks his head. He knows better than to argue. “Try to, at least. The pains will be worse if you’re tense.”
“Speaking from experience?” Meliorn teases.
Raphael pokes him between the shoulder blades. “I was the oldest of five in a house with thin walls.”
Meliorn knows this, of course, but it doesn’t stop Raphael from trying to distract him. Meliorn makes a pained noise and clutches the dresser for support. Raphael steadies his shoulders. “Meliorn?”
Meliorn pants, his hand on his belly. “My waters broke.”
Raphael squeezes his hand. “That’s- that’s good.” He nearly chokes on the words. Excitement and nerves clog his throat.
Meliorn nods. His legs are shaking. Raphael gently leads him back to sit on the bed. He helps Meliorn peel away his sodden trousers. After a moment of consideration, Meliorn casts his shirt aside as well. The brief pause in motion is all Meliorn can take. He struggles back to his feet, waving away Raphael’s offer of assistance. Raphael watches Meliorn’s belly clench with the next pain. He brushes a hand over it. It feels like a boulder under his touch. Meliorn winces.
“I’m sorry.” Raphael whispers.
“Don’t be-ah-” Meliorn moans, deep and guttural.
“Breathe.”
“I know how to do this.” Meliorn retorts. But his voice is weak, the usual dry bite lacking. He presses his head against Raphael’s chest. His breath is ragged, catching in his throat. Sweat dots his forehead. Raphael wipes it away with a handkerchief, but Meliorn doesn’t notice. His focus is entirely inward, on each twitch and cramp of his body. Raphael holds him up, rubbing his lower back. He wishes there was more he could do, but he’s so proud of how Meliorn is managing. Slowly, the Seelie rocks his hips back and forth, working through the pressure.
Raphael whispers praises into his ear. He doubts Meliorn is listening, but he needs to do something.
They sway together, in the middle of their room. The contractions build and build and the rest between them gets shorter and shorter. Each one leaves Meliorn groaning and whimpering quietly Raphael’s shoulder. There’s no way to track the time- their little corner of the Seelie realm is sheltered from the sunlight, in a permanent state of night and twilight- but Raphael feels each hour pass with agonising sloth.
“I love you.” He murmurs.
Meliorn doesn’t lift his head, but his lips quirk upwards. “I know.” He croaks. Then he groans loudly and crumples. Raphael catches him swiftly.
“Down, down, down-” Meliorn gasps and Raphael obediently lowers him to the floor. With one knee braced on the floor, the other stretched out in front of him, Meliorn clutches Raphael’s upper arms tightly. He pants, short little breaths, then moans, low and long. He scowls, unsatisfied. Raphael isn’t sure what the problem is. Meliorn catches his breath, then bares his teeth. His muscles coil under his skin, and Raphael understands.
This is it.
Meliorn doesn’t hold back. He’s long surrendered to the tidal waves coursing through him, working with each ebb and flow. He’s being swept along, but he isn’t drowning. Raphael’s eyes drift down. He watches in awe as with each crest of pain, their baby’s head comes closer and closer to emerging. Slowly, steadily, stretching Meliorn wide, it peeks free. Meliorn hisses in agony as the widest part passes through.
For a moment, the head hangs free, the body still trapped inside Meliorn’s. For that moment, neither dare speak.
Then Meliorn moans, “Catch.”
Raphael’s hands are far from as steady as he’d like them to be as he cups the baby’s head. But Meliorn pushes the shoulders free, and then the body slithers into Raphael’s hands all the same. Bloody tears trickle down Raphael’s cheeks as he cradles the baby to his chest. The green blood stains will never wash out of his shirt; he doesn’t care at all.
“You did it, Meliorn. You did it.”
Meliorn’s legs give out and he gingerly lowers himself onto his knees. His eyes don’t leave the baby whimpering against Raphael’s chest. With the utmost delicacy, he traces a finger along the baby’s cheek. She grabs it with her ever so tiny hands. Meliorn smiles wider than he ever has before. Tears roll from his eyes for the first time in centuries.
“She’s beautiful.” He whispers.
Raphael curls around him in warm embrace, pressing a kiss to his temple. “She takes after her father.”
Meliorn rests his weary head against Raphael, thumb idly stroking the baby’s dark hair. Wrinkled and damp as she is, it’s hard to tell whose feature’s she’s inherited, aside from Meliorn’s pointed ears. But he knows she’ll be stunning.
“Our little Malena…” He murmurs, “I have waited so long for you, little flower.”
And his waiting is finally over. He has his child in his arms, with the love of his life wrapped around him. He’d never thought happiness like this was even possible- and here it is. Eternity is suddenly the greatest gift he could imagine.