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“Yes, sir, I understand but if the other person has deactivated his account, I can’t access his details either.”
“But I think he’s the love of my life!”
Oluwande rolled his eyes. When Jim had suggested he apply to work at the new start up dating app downtown, they had meant it as a joke but the money was good and Oluwande was a romantic at heart. Helping people find something like he had with Jim? Surely that would be more rewarding than troubleshooting printer problems and telling people to turn machines off and on again.
And yet, annoying people wanted to find love too, apparently.
He felt for this ‘SBonnet’, he did. He could see via his profile that he was a newly out, divorced dad and that had to be a hard spot. Comphet was a hell of a thing. And he could tell from the pleading tone of his voice that something had clicked with this ‘Blackbeard’ but if the account was deleted, it was gone. Even for him.
“I guess it wasn’t meant to be,” the man sighed on the other end of the phone. “I don’t even know why I’m doing this. I’m not a bachelor, I’m an idiot.”
“Aw, chin up, man.” Olu wasn’t sure why he felt the need to give this guy a pep talk but the defeat in his voice was getting under his skin. “One missed connection isn’t the end of the world. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.”
“I don’t know, Mr. Boodhari,” (and yes, Oluwande was impressed the man had remembered his name from the beginning of the call,) “maybe this is a sign. I’m a fool for thinking I had a chance. He was incredibly, what did Lucius call it?, out of my league? Maybe I should just deactivate my account, too.”
“Don’t be too hasty,” Olu rushed to calm him down, partly because he felt bad and partly because talking to someone and them immediately deactivating their account would look bad on his record. “I’m sure the right guy is just out there, waiting for you.”
“I don’t kn—Ed, is that you? What are you doing here?”
The man had set the phone down, forgetting all about him. The right thing to do would be to disconnect the call.
Olu turned his volume up.
“Came to see you, didn’t I?” a deeper voice answered.
“I didn’t tell you which bookshop I worked at.”
“You said you worked at a queer bookstore in Southeast.” There was laughter in the other man’s (Ed’s?) voice. “There is one queer bookstore in Southeast, Stede. It wasn’t that hard to find you.”
“And you wanted to find me?” Sbonnet’s (Stede’s) voice was quieter, slightly hopeful.
“Course I did.” Ed’s voice sounded confident but there was a hint of something underneath. “You’re the most fascinating person I’ve ever met, even if it was only over an app. Had to see if you were just as interesting in person.” A pause. “Which, um, you are.”
“You’re lovely, too,” Stede replied softly. “Wait, but if you like talking to me, why did you deactivate your account?”
Ed laughed nervously. “You noticed that?”
“Edward!” Stede sounded quite put out. “I went to message you good morning and you were gone! What was I supposed to think?!”
“Sorry, I guess I got a little ahead of myself.”
“Ahead of yourself?”
“Yeah, so, um, well, the app’s for meeting people you want to date, right?” Ed sounded nervous as all hell.
“I suppose.”
“And, well, I met someone I wanted to date so I deleted it.”
“Oh.” Stede sounded dejected. “I understand. Well, I’ll leave you to it, then. It was lovely to meet you, Ed.”
“Wait, why are you? No, Stede!” Ed started laughing. “I’m talking about you, you nut!”
“Me?!” Stede exclaimed in an octave higher than normal.
“Yes, you.” Sounded incredibly fond. “Stede Bonnet, would you like to get dinner with me?”
“Edward, I would be delighted.”
And then it was quiet and then there were sounds and then Olu jumped to disconnect the call. It was clearly time for a break.
On a whim when he got to the office the next day, he went to check SBonnet’s account. It was deactivated.