Chapter Text
In between the pre-recording and the live performance, Seonghwa notices Wooyoung blinking like there’s something in his eye.
The rest of backstage is preoccupied, with Hongjoong running around exchanging one prop for another, and Jongho and Yunho swallowing down water so they don’t end up passing out in the middle of the high intensity workout that is their next stage. Personally, Seonghwa is just grateful to be here right now. Both physically and mentally. He know that at times on stage he can lose himself in the acting; get lost in the world they’re building and the emotions that they’re trying to portray, and he'll come back to himself with Hongjoong’s tentative hand on his jaw and their manager hovering nervously behind him. But right now, he's himself. Which is why Seonghwa decides to stand and step closer to Wooyoung to see what's wrong.
He’s here right now, and able, so of course he'll try to help. Why wouldn’t he?
“Wooyoung?”
Wooyoung looks up. Or, he looks up as best as he can, with the one eye that he’s been worrying over twitching and blinking rapidly. “Seonghwa-hyung. Hi. Ready for our next stage?”
“Mh,” Seonghwa steps closer, placing steadying hands on Wooyoung’s shoulders. Wooyoung instantly stills. “Can I see your eye?”
“Oh –” Wooyoung’s head ducks. “It’s just – my contact I think. And my makeup. It’s not that bad, I can deal with it.” Seonghwa frowns to himself. For all of Wooyoung’s exuberance in front of the camera, when he’s faced with care and attention from any of them directly, he curls like a shy blossom.
“You don’t have to, you know.” He says. Wooyoung looks back up, frowning.
“Huh?”
“You don’t just have to put up with it,” Seonghwa reaches up to brush a thumb against Wooyoung’s cheek. “Especially since there are people here that can help you. That want to help you.”
And Seonghwa is talking about Wooyoung’s eye, but he’s also talking about so much more than that. He's talking about the way that Wooyoung will go quiet when he’s uncomfortable instead of telling his hyungs what is bothering him. He's talking about the way Wooyoung will cling to them and tease them incessantly instead of just asking for a hug, nervous to be rejected. He talking about the way Wooyoung gets home to the dorms after a long schedule and nearly passes out right there on the couch because he was tired four hours ago but didn’t say anything to let anyone know.
Seonghwa knows that it's common for Wooyoung to forget that they love him more than they love convenience.
“Hyung –” Wooyoung starts, clearly prepared to argue, but Seonghwa doesn’t let him. He pulls back, grabbing Wooyoung’s wrists and guiding him over to a chair. “Hyung! What are you –”
“Shush.” Seonghwa says softly. “Come here. Let me fix it.”
Wooyoung, stunned, sits obediently. Seonghwa reaches over for a makeup wipe, and then sits across from him. He carefully takes Wooyoung's jaw and turns his head to the side. Gently and methodically, he swipes at the slightly weeping eye liner, paying close attention to the way Wooyoung winces and twitches.
"Does it hurt?" He asks.
Wooyoung hums, and his eyes close. Seonghwa takes that as a maybe, and makes sure to be gentler as he keeps going until most of it is gone. He hesitates when he's done, because Wooyoung is leaning into his hands. It's subtle, but it's there, and Seonghwa loves him, so he lingers.
After a while though, he has to let go.
"I'm done," he whispers. Wooyoung takes a breath, then opens his eyes and pulls back.
"Thank you, hyung." He turns to the mirror, now able to touch his eye without accidentally hurting himself. Seonghwa watches him pull the contact out with a wince.
"Don't put it back." He blurts before he can stop himself.
Wooyoung frowns, looking over, one eye brown and the other blue. "Sorry?"
"Does it hurt you?"
Wooyoung hesitates. "It's just irritating. Makes my eyes water."
"Okay, then don't put it back in." Seonghwa holds out his palm, but Wooyoung doesn't drop the contact.
"But I'm supposed to –"
"Not if it bothers you." Seonghwa frowns. "I know it may feel like they own us, but they don't. We may owe them some things, but not everything. We can still keep stuff for ourselves."
"Like our eyes?" Wooyoung asks, and he's joking, but Seonghwa is serious. He's too mature, too experienced in this industry, to not start taking back pieces of himself. And still he knows he's lucky. He didn't have to do what some of his other members did. He didn't have to sacrifice the way that Hongjoong and Jongho did. But being here now has taught Seonghwa that the sacrifices never really stop.
He can't keep them from it completely. That would mean leaving. The least he can do, as the eldest of Ateez, is make sure that they're taken care of while they're still here. He will choose not to budge on small things.
For them, he'll risk it. Always.
"Like our eyes." He agrees. He waits a beat. "And everything else."
Wooyoung's eyes drift back to his reflection. He's still for a moment as he thinks. Around them, sound technicians are hustling around to check mic packs and Seonghwa is sure that their stylist is trying to find them all to make sure their makeup is reapplied, but Seonghwa doesn't rush Wooyoung. This is important.
Choose yourself, he thinks, pleading. Choose yourself always.
As if he heard, Wooyoung turns to him, a bit sheepish. "Can you help me, hyung? I want to take the other one out."
Seonghwa, relieved, smiles, and leans forward to help.