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Kel left the chamber for the second time, its words ringing in her ears, “you can tell. if you think they’ll believe you.” Blasted thing, with its somewheres and its eventuallys. She needed someone else to know, just in case, but who? Neal? He’d probably fuss at her for going back inside and tell her it’s just the chamber messing with her one last time. No, not Neal. It would need to be someone who understood being sent on missions by strange forces. Someone who had once had a very similar weight thrust upon their own shoulders. There was only one person Kel could think of who fit that bill. She gulped.
It took longer than she would have preferred for Kel to amass the necessary quantity of courage. There were several times she had convinced herself she was going to do it, but she would find that as she drew closer to her quarry her nerve failed her. Finally, three nights after she exited the chamber she found herself knocking on the door to one of the palace suites.
Kel wiped her suddenly clammy palms on her breeches as she heard the occupant of said room call out, “Just a moment!” She steeled her nerves and slowed her breathing as she waited, willing herself into a semblance of Yamani calm and blankness, and finally, after what felt like a lifetime but probably had not been more than a handful of moments, the door swung open to reveal a woman who stood much shorter than Keladry with copper hair. Kel had to force her lungs to continue taking in air as purple eyes met hers. She had not spoken with the Lioness one on one since the short but charged moments in which she had been gifted her new sword, Griffin, and she was nervous .
She noted how the purple eyes widened with poorly contained surprise as Alanna spoke her name. Kel bowed and returned to standing, “My Lady. I was wondering if I might ask a few moments of your time?”
“Yes, yes of course. Please come in, Keladry.” The Lioness stepped back, opening the door to the rooms granted to her as the Champion. It was Kel’s turn to be surprised. Unless her insightfulness misled her she detected a bit of her own nervousness reflected in the shorter woman’s face. She’d be lying if she said that didn’t make her feel a little bit better about her own frayed nerves where the Lioness was concerned.
“Please, Lady Alanna, call me Kel. Everyone does.” The shorter woman’s lips ticked upward in a hint of a smile, “Then you must call me Alanna. None of this Lady or Lioness nonsense. We’re friends and equals now; and my friends only call me that when they’re being buffoons.” Kel ducked her head in acknowledgement, returning the Lioness’s half grin as she walked past her into the room. The older woman closed the door behind her and Kel felt her throat bob dryly up and down. It was now or never. She had to do this.
“Would you like something to drink?” the Champion asked as she poured what appeared to be fruit juice into a goblet. Keladry declined, worried that a cup of liquid might betray the slight tremble in her hands, though she thanked the Lioness for her offer. Then Alanna led her to a set of chairs at a small table in what appeared to be the study. Kel spared a glance around, still not quite believing that she was actually in the chambers of the woman who had been her hero her entire life. The room was tastefully decorated with several floor to ceiling shelves filled with books and a small desk in the far corner. A portrait of a man who looked exactly as the Lioness must have in her youth hung above the fireplace. Alanna’s eyes followed Kel’s own, “My twin brother, Thom.” She explained, nodding at the portrait, a hint of sadness surfacing on her face before it was swiftly pushed aside as the King’s Champion sat across from her. The full weight of that amethyst gaze now rested on the younger knight as she asked, “What can I do for you, Lady Knight?”
The brown haired woman swallowed dryly and steeled her nerves. It had to be now or she knew her courage would leave her. “My lady - Alanna,” She quickly corrected, seeing the purple eyes that had been considering her thoughtfully narrow with what seemed to be mostly teasing displeasure, “I went back into the Chamber of the Ordeal three nights ago...” Her sentence was interrupted by the Lioness choking on the juice she had chosen that moment to take a sip of as her eyes went wide.
“You did WHAT ?!” The redhead coughed out, nearly jumping from her chair with the speed at which she sat straight up. The eyes that had previously felt like they were burning to the core of who she was were now wide with fear. “By the Goddess, Kel, what in the name of the Gods would have led you to that? Queenscove and Raoul told me you were stubborn, but neither of them mentioned you were mad as well. Tell me you had a good reason.”
Kel explained about her visions and dreams of Blayce, the Nothing Man, and Stenmun, his dog, and the workshop filled with dead children and killing machines as the Lioness listened tensely but quietly. When her tale was finally done she raised her eyes to meet the intense amethyst gaze once more with an exclamation of, “But it won’t tell me when , or where , only that eventually our paths will cross; and I’m a first year knight! The King isn’t going to just let me go gallivanting across the border into Scanra on the word of a Chamber that -as far as I know- isn’t even supposed to act this way! It said I could talk about the visions just not the rest of the Ordeal, if anyone would believe me and I didn’t know who would, but then I thought of you...” She felt heat rise in her cheeks, embarrassed to be this vulnerable in front of her hero, “You of all people would know what it’s like to have otherworldly forces meddle in your head and life.”
Alanna paused, fingers tapping on the arm of her chair pensively, nodded and swallowed heavily before replying, albeit a bit shakily, “That I do.” Kel found herself staring at her hands, clasped on her lap, in order to avoid those piercing eyes. A hand entered her field of vision and took one of her own as the Lioness’ voice, gentler even than it had been when she had given Kel her new sword, urged, “Keladry, look at me please.” It was a gentle order, but an order nonetheless.
Kel took a deep breath, forcing herself to meet the older woman’s gaze. The copper haired woman’s face was grave and a bit pale as she spoke, “I had hoped that the gods at least would leave you be, for all the worldly obstacles you had to face that I did not. I’m sorry that does not appear to be the case.”
She sighed and Kel felt the hand holding hers squeeze slightly, “Kel. I believe you. We know the names Stenmun and Blayce, from Daine’s scouting, but that is confidential information kept by the King and his closest advisors. We just don’t know where the bastard is, and until now we were unaware that he was using children to power his machines.” By the time Alanna finished her sentence most of the color had returned to her face and her discomfort had turned to frustration; an emotion much more familiar to the Lioness if Neal’s dramatic tales of her temper during his squiredom were any indication. “Well,” Alanna said decisively as she stood up, “let’s take a look and see if we can’t figure out this monster’s hidey-hole.”
They spent the next several hours brainstorming, pouring over maps of Scanra and the border only to end up exactly where they started. Neither of the women had any further inkling of where to look for Kel’s Nothing Man than they did when they started. At long last the Lioness slumped back in her chair, “I’m sorry, Kel.” Alanna huffed her displeasure, “All these years wishing you could come to me for help and when you finally do I’m as useless as a tilting saddle on a pack mule.” The Champion’s irritation was plain on her face, “The gods do have a sense of irony, if not humor.”
“Oh, My Lady, no!” Kel protested, “I didn’t expect for you and I and a bunch of maps to actually be able to find Blayce when all the animals of Scanra couldn’t. I needed to tell someone, more than anything. Not necessarily for help, but so that someone else knows the task I’ve been charged with, just in case.” Kel grinned wryly, “And I think most anyone else would have thought I was suffering from brain-rot if I showed up at their door talking about visions from the Chamber. Especially considering as far as I know it’s never so much as spoken to anyone else during their Ordeal.”
The Lioness considered Kel for a moment, a question behind her eyes that she appeared to answer for herself, “Spoken to? I couldn’t say. But it definitely wouldn’t be the first time the Chamber blurred the lines between what happens in there during an Ordeal and what is happening in the real world.” Alanna massaged her palms thoughtfully as she spoke, “I can’t talk about specifics, of course, but it certainly…” she hesitated for a moment, contemplating her word choice, “influenced my actions regarding the Duke of Conte after my own.” This was surprising to Kel. The circumstances surrounding the duel between Roger of Conte and Alanna the Lioness were well known to all across Tortall and most in other lands, but in all of those tellings it seemed the Chamber’s role had been left out.
“It is possible perhaps,” Alanna continued, “that I am more sympathetic because I have had my own experience with the real world associations of the Ordeal as well as having the Gods meddle in my life.”
Kel tried and failed to stifle a yawn. When her eyes blinked back open the Lioness had begun to roll up the maps. She smiled kindly at Kel, “Shoo. Get some rest. Goddess knows you more than deserve it. I’ll pass on the bit about the children to the King and leave your name out of it. I have much more plausible ways of having received this information by virtue of my marriage.” Alanna finished her statement with a grin and a wink.
“Thank you, Lioness,” It was a well kept secret but Neal had made enough allusions for the young knight to have some idea of what sources the Lady spoke. Kel stood to head back to her own chambers, “and thank you for listening. I… it’s been...” she could feel herself getting redder as she spoke, uncertain of how to put words to the emotions welling up inside her chest. She was grateful for Alanna seemingly noticed her struggle and elected to save her.
“It’s been nice spending time with you too, Kel.” The Lady said seriously. “Gratifying, really. And if you ever need anything else, please know that you can come to me. I know I haven’t been there for you like we both wish I could have been, but I’d like for us to be friends now, at least. Since the conservatives can no longer claim I’m trying to witch you into your shield. It's high time we got the chance to become less legendary to one another.” Alanna was looking at her in a way that made Kel’s palms sweaty once more. Goddess her gaze was intense. Kel wondered how Neal had made it four years without liquefying under the pressure of it.
Kel smiled back, brushing the sweat from her palms on her tunic, “I’d like that too. Thank you for your time tonight. It means more than you know.”
Alanna’s eyes never left Kel’s with her response, “I wouldn’t bet on that.” Her words carried more weight than their content should have and Kel decided it was time to leave before she really did spontaneously begin to melt. She stood and had nearly made it to the door before the Lioness’s voice reached her.
“Kel, I know Raoul and Neal would risk it all on your confidences, but I’ve never mentioned what the Chamber showed me during my ordeal, not even to the King. I’m sure it goes without saying but…”
The brunette woman offered a bow to the Champion on her way out, “Of course, Lady. I wouldn’t tell a soul.” She left the chamber, taking a moment to lean against the wall. After all these years she had gotten to spend time with her idol. And she had trusted her with a secret to match Kel’s own. She trotted back to her chambers feeling lighter than she had since she walked out of her Ordeal. She didn’t have to carry this alone any longer.
Kel received her orders to head North just a few days after her conversation with Alanna. She was grateful that almost all of the Knights in the Capitol would be heading to the border at the same time, including the Lioness herself. True to her word, the Champion did seem to want to be friends. Throughout the journey she made it a point to spend time with the younger knight: be it joining Kel’s early morning weapons practice, ensuring they sat close enough to chat during group meals, riding alongside Kel and Raoul, or even staying up late for no reason other than to exchange stories from their youths, sometimes joined by Neal and Merric.
Kel heard the story of how Alanna and the King defeated the Ysandir without embellishment and including a few details no other telling had, as well as the story of her kidnapping by Tusaine and the resulting escape, and about how she returned from the Roof of the World bringing Queen Thayet with her. Alanna was regaled with the tale of Kel’s accidental adoption of the baby griffin, her use of weighted practice weapons, and all could sense her fury at hearing of Kel’s trip down Baylor’s Needle on the day of the big examinations from the proverbial horse’s mouth.
As the trip continued, Tortall’s two lady knights began to develop a comfortable friendship, the likes of which Kel had never experienced before. Alanna never made Kel feel as if her emotions were a burden or a weakness.
Kel learned of the Lioness’s hatred of cold weather when she came to Kel’s tent to sincerely apologize for snapping at her during a shockingly cold and windy Spring day. The Lioness admitted to an honest fear of falling snow and frigid temperatures, citing two near drownings while ice skating as well as her incredibly close call with freeing to death on her quest for the Dominion Jewel. Kel rewarded Alanna’s vulnerability with her own, admitting to her once debilitating terror in the face of being more than two feet above the ground after being dangled from a tower by her older brother. The King’s Champion swore she would insist Conal duel her for his lack of chivalry if the King had not forbidden it. Kel laughed.
Alanna quickly learned of Kel’s propensity for dry humor during their tag team teasing of Neal, the two women catching each other’s eyes and sharing a laugh as Neal scoffed and rode ahead to join Merric, “Where he was appreciated.” As they got to know each other some of the nervousness she felt around Alanna faded. For all of the legendary acts and incredible bravery, the Lioness was surprisingly and beautifully human. Kel found herself hoping against hope that they would both be stationed at the same fort once they arrived at the border. Despite the strange feeling in the pit of her stomach any time they were in the same space Kel enjoyed every moment she got to spend with the older woman. The Lioness got her. She got her in a way Kel hadn’t expected or experienced before. And so what if she sometimes found herself unable to take her eyes off the older woman? So what if there were several times she got the strange feeling she only just missed catching violet ones lingering as well. It could only be expected after eight years of yearning on both their parts. Alanna had made it perfectly clear that Kel was not the only one incredibly interested in making up for lost time where their relationship was concerned after all.
Her hopefulness was quickly quashed when Lord Wyldon informed her she was to oversee a refugee camp. Kel had agreed to it, of course, she knew her duty and even concurred with his reasoning. That didn’t make it sting less. She returned to her room that night holding back angry tears until she could release them in private. Kel slammed her fists against her pillow until it began to deflate and shed its stuffing before throwing herself down on the provided cot. She had only just begun to allow her tears to spill over when she heard a soft knock on the door to her chambers.
Kel brushed the tears off of her cheeks, “Go away, Neal. I don’t want to talk about it.” Jump whined at the door, tail wagging.
“Kel, it’s me. Please open the door.” The voice was insistent, and too gentle to be Neal’s, too high pitched to be anyone but a woman. Kel probably would have been able to ignore any other person, save perhaps Lord Raoul, but she found her legs moving of their own accord to obey the Lioness’s request. She tried to school her face back into her very best Yamani mask, but she suspected Alanna would see through it, somehow she always could. Kel had learned that those intense violet eyes missed very little, especially where she was concerned. Kel shifted to the side so that the door would block her from view of anyone passing through the corridor and opened the door to allow the Champion entry.
Alanna stepped through the door and closed it behind her. She looked around and flicked her fingers a few times, sending purple fire to each corner in order to thoroughly soundproof the room. The Lioness turned to face Kel, anger sparking in her eyes until they met Kel’s own and it drained instantly away to be replaced with concern.
“Kel…” Alanna’s hand reached out, finding purchase on the taller woman’s arm, the young woman could feel the Lioness’s thumb gently tracing the tendons in her forearm. Her eyes flitted from Kel’s tear-damp cheeks to the loose down from the pillow and back to the brunette’s face once more. Kel looked away, heat rising in her cheeks. She never lost control like this and to have her moment of weakness witnessed by the Lioness herself was possibly the most humiliating thing she could have ever imagined. “Neal told me.” The shorter woman gentled, “It’s okay to be angry, Kel. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Alanna snorted, “Gods, imagine if it were… with my temper I’d be too busy being ashamed to do anything useful at all.”
Kel’s choked out laugh betrayed her by turning into a sob. The back of her hand flew up to cover her mouth, eyes widening in horror at her body’s deception. Alanna's insightful eyes were peering straight into her soul again, but this time the older woman was allowing Kel to gaze right back. She could read the concern and care and understanding and the Lioness’s own anger on Kel’s behalf and it was too much, too overwhelming. The sobs clawed their way out of her chest and throat, tears leaking through cracks in her dam constructed by force of will alone. Kel allowed her eyelids to fall shut, unable to withstand Alanna’s scrutiny any longer. She sensed rather than saw Alanna take a step toward her before she felt the shorter woman’s arms close around her, one hand making its way up to the back of Kel’s head in order to guide it to rest upon her shoulder.
The pair stood like that for a time, wordless, Alanna holding a bent over Kel, one hand scratching the hair at the nape of her neck. Kel’s arms clutching the redhead’s tunic as she sobbed out her frustration and disappointment to the only person who would never judge her for allowing her emotions to become visible. Even after the taller woman’s tears faded they stood, neither wanting to be the one to break the surprisingly comfortable embrace in which they found themselves. After an uncertain amount of time, Kel drew back, still refusing eye contact and red in the face with embarrassment, “My apologies, Alanna. I usually manage to remain significantly more composed than this. I just have no clue what I’m supposed to do now.” Kel swiped away the remnants of her tears, “I can’t find Blayce from a refugee camp. And how am I supposed to live with myself knowing every day I spend there is another day he spends murdering children to power his machines?” The words bubbled out bitterly. She couldn’t stop them and she didn’t know why. Something about the copper haired woman’s presence seemed to crumble every one of her Yamani fortified walls. She had never allowed anyone to truly see her break down before, not Neal, not Merric, not even Lord Raoul.
Alanna took Kel’s hand in one of her own and led her over to the bed where she sat down, motioning for Kel to do the same. Kel looked at her now, for the first time since she had begun to cry and realized that the Lioness’s eyes were a bit wet as well. The woman in question inhaled sharply and spoke softly, “When Jon- the King- ordered me to stay away from you before you even began your time as a page I stormed out of Wyldon’s office. I was so angry. It had been so long since I had felt so undermined and betrayed, and by Jon of all people…” The Lioness’s voice trailed off momentarily, her jaw clenched hard. “I rode all the way to Pirate’s Swoop, stopping only when my horse needed rest. I barely ate, barely slept. I cried for days and when I ran out of tears I recklessly threw myself against any and every threat in the area without a care for my safety. When I told you it nearly killed me that I couldn’t help you I was being quite literal, Kel.” The older woman’s face was pained as she continued, “Sometimes orders are bad. Sometimes they’re unfair. And you and I receive more of the bad ones than other knights ever will due to our sex. It’s understandable and at times unavoidable to be angry, to be hurt, to be disappointed. But I’m going to ask you to promise me something...” Alanna captured Kel’s eyes once more, their bright purple color intensified by the glisten of unshed tears, ‘Survive this. Don’t repeat my mistakes. Don’t let the anger and the frustration make you reckless.” The Lioness patted Kel’s thigh, “I’ve become quite attached to you, lass. If I were to become the Realm’s only Lady Knight again I don’t think I’d handle it well.”
Kel covered the Lioness’s small, hard hand with her own larger one. “I promise, Alanna. I give you my word that I will do my best to remain in one piece.” The younger knight nearly managed a smile, “Besides, recklessness is your thing. Just think what the conservatives would say if I were to suddenly acquire it as a personality trait immediately after our first few months as friends!” Her statement inspired an absolute cackle from the woman on her right.
“The worst is that this is a fair order. A good one, even, considering Wyldon doesn’t know the things we do about the Chamber and my supposed role in taking down Blayce. No one else would care about doing right by these people, and they deserve better than that.” She flopped back, wincing slightly as the back of her skull made slightly more contact with the wall than she had intended, “I just wish knowing that made it hurt less.” Alanna hummed her understanding as Kel continued, “And I know we haven’t spoken about it much, but Alanna please never think that you didn’t help me when I was a page and squire. I may not have known who was sending the gifts, but I did know that they were always perfectly picked out with so much care and thoughtfulness. It was as if by magic whoever was sending them knew exactly what I needed and exactly when I needed it.” Kel grinned at the shorter woman, “In fact, now that I do know it was you I feel a bit daft that I hadn’t considered the possibility before. Who else could have known those things?” She shook her head, “And Peachblossom, I would have had to give him up and he would have probably been…”
Alanna cut her off, saving her from having to voice the awful thought, “Stefan said as much. Believe it or not there was a time when I also had to count on the generosity of others for my first horse. It truly was the least I could do,” the older woman assured, “I think we both know that given my druthers I would have spent every free moment sharing each tip and trick I collected over the years. A horse- even one so special as Peachblossom- will never be able make up for what was kept from you and for that I am truly sorry.” She sighed in disappointment, “I head out in the morning, Kel. Frasrlund. I knew it was wishful thinking, but I had hoped we’d be working together. I think we still have a fair bit to learn about one another, Lady Knight.”
There was something in Alanna’s eyes that made Kel’s heart beat faster. She didn’t have time to unpack that right now. On second thought, she wasn’t sure if she should ever unpack that, actually. Instead she laced her fingers with the hand under hers, both still resting on her thigh, “If it helps, I had been hoping for the same thing. Don’t get me wrong, I have Neal and Merric, whom I care for greatly and I know we work well together. But I didn’t have to make it through eight years of combat training to be able to talk to them .” Alanna laughed at that, deep and full throated and Kel grinned back at her, “I could write?” She asked the Lioness, voice sounding more uncertain than she would have liked.
Alanna grinned wickedly back at her, “You better, youngling. If I have to learn even one detail about your first command from one of my husband’s people you’ll find our names on the tournament boards once the war’s over. Not jousting though,” she shuddered, eyes twinkling, “unlike the conservatives I know when I don’t stand a chance.” The two women shared a laugh at the expense of all the grown knights on Progress who had thought that the girl squire would be an easy target only to find themselves flying through the air after one of her lance impacts.
Reluctantly, Alanna stood, carding one hand through her unruly copper curls, “I should turn in. We leave at dawn.” Kel stood as well, intent on walking the older woman to the door. She held the door open and standing in the entryway she realized; it was real now. They were at war and there was a very real chance she might never see the woman in front of her again. “Alanna, I…” The copper haired woman tilted her head up to meet Kel’s eyes as she floundered to put her feelings into words, suddenly hyper aware of the other woman’s proximity. Kel could feel her cheeks getting warmer and failed to stop her traitorous eyes from flicking down to the older woman’s mouth before she landed on a somewhat strangled, “Stay safe, Lioness.”
The shorter woman’s eyes never left hers and if Kel had been less distracted by attempting to hide the involuntary flick of her vision she would have seen the slight hitch in Alanna’s breathing as she registered the younger woman’s stolen glance. The Champion’s hand reached up almost shakily to cup Kel’s cheek, “Stay safe, Lady Knight.” Neither woman was certain how long they stood there, stuck in place, each unwilling to break the spell of the moment before they were startled apart by the sounds of rushed footsteps approaching. They managed to put at least a pace or two between them before Neal of all people rounded the corner, pulling up short in surprise. He cocked his head a bit, intrigued, all too insightful eyes darting between the two women. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it upon receiving the glare Alanna was pointedly sending his way.
“Good evening, mistress-mine. I’ve come to steal our lovely Keladry away from you this fine evening.” Neal turned his attention to the “lovely” knight in question, ignoring the positively venomous look shot in his direction by his former knight mistress, “Merric wants us to go over some maps of the area surrounding the refugee camp before we head out tomorrow afternoon.”
With one last lingering glance Kel pulled herself away from the Lioness. Alanna let her go with an almost inaudible, “Gods all bless, Keladry.” before she was off, headed back to her own chamber to prepare for her early morning departure for Frasrlund.
Kel managed to push her interaction with Alanna out of her mind for the duration of her meeting with Merric and Neal. The three young knights came up with a rough plan for patrol routes and possible fortifications before the yawns began and they decided more scheming could wait until the next day at least. She made it back to her room before she allowed herself to dwell on the moment herself and the Lioness had shared just hours before. Kel had wanted to kiss her, would maybe have done so if Neal hadn’t appeared when he did. She groaned aloud. This could not be happening. Alanna was a married woman with children. Sure, Kel had liked Cleon well enough but he had never inspired the things she felt when she was around The Lioness when she was with him: the butterflies, the flips her stomach did every time those beautiful purple eyes met hers, the feeling of her heart squeezing tightly in her chest at the thought of never seeing the other woman again. Kel was raised in the Yamani islands, same sex relationships were nothing new or taboo to her but she had not expected to develop feelings for the King’s Champion within a few short weeks of spending time together. At least she had plenty of time to think about it over the next however long they were at war, provided they both lived that long.
Three weeks into her command at Haven Kel sent her first letter to Alanna. She had languished over what to say and in the end had elected to keep it mostly professional.
Lady Alanna,
I hope all is well at Frasrlund. Everything is as well as it can be here. I chose to name the camp Haven, because that is what it is. Numair has been very helpful with calling rocks to fortify the base of the walls in order to give the Killing Machines less purchase. The people here are hard working, even if I do think the convict squads could have been treated better before being sent to die in war. Neal nearly had a fit when he found a hole in the heart of one man. I haven’t had too much trouble with the refugees, save for one man from Tirrsmont who refuses to be content with anything I or anyone else can offer him. One of the women was leery of me at first but I believe I earned her respect after a raid attempt that included two of the Killing Machines in which I somehow managed to dispatch both personally. Daine did something here, to the animals. She said it was horrible how poorly protected the refugees are here and that they were eager to help. We are doing our best but if I can be frank we just do not have enough soldiers and with every Scanran raid attempt we are losing more than we can afford. I am training the refugees to fight and defend themselves, but it is slow work. The children at least are eager to learn spear fighting and archery. I feel a bit like a proud parent every time one of them perfects a new skill.
How are you? I hope it is not too bold of me to say, but I find that I miss you quite a bit.
Regards,
Keladry of Mindelan
Kel almost scratched out that last line, but it was the truth. As wonderful as Neal and Merric were, she missed the Lioness terribly. With Neal and Merric she wasn’t able to question herself or allow her emotions to show without judgment, not like she had been able to with Alanna. After eight years of being Yamani stone it had been a surprisingly welcome relief to spend time with someone who not only allowed her to show her emotions, but encouraged her to do so safely. She sent the letter with the next courier headed to Frasrlund.
Alanna’s reply arrived only two days before Kel was summoned to report at Fort Mastiff.
Keladry,
What did I say about calling me Lady? We’re friends and it’s unnecessarily formal. Haven is a good name. Did Numair do the Sorcerer's Dance? I bet he did. Don’t tell Queenscove I said this, but I’m proud of him. He has a good heart under all that sarcasm and hyperbole. I can only think of one person I would have rather had as a squire. I hope you know that I’m proud of you too, Kel. I know it’s been difficult for you not being able to pursue the nothing man, but you are doing truly invaluable work there. Taking down two killing machines by yourself is entirely and completely impressive. I hope I never have the honor. I heard stories about you teaching self defense and extra staff lessons to the servants and younger pages during your earlier years. I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your dedication to continuing the education of others. I hope this letter gets to you in a timely manner, for we are under siege here, locked in a near stalemate. It’s the damn killing machines, Kel. If it weren’t for those we would have sent the Scanrans packing last week but the metal bastards have been a challenge.
I am doing as well as a knight in a war can be. Things are bad, but you know that. I have managed to escape severe injury thus far, thank the Goddess. It is not too bold of you, Lady Knight. I find myself missing you as well. Perhaps more than quite a bit. On that note, I wanted to apologize, Kel. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable at Mastiff before we parted ways. I have found myself in the predicament of caring a great deal for you.
Goddess Bless,
Alanna
Alanna’s letter was enough to put a smile on Kel’s face despite her worries about departing from Haven to report to Lord Wyldon. The Lioness was proud of her. She had told her before, but to have it in writing made it feel so much more real. She read the letter again, swearing she could see Alanna’s wicked grin as she asked if Numair did the sorcerer’s dance and the wink she would have sent Kel’s way when she said Neal was her second choice for her squire. The only bit that gave the young knight pause was the bit about making her uncomfortable. If anything it should be her apologizing. After all she was the one who almost allowed herself to kiss her married friend. But the next line bolstered her. The Lioness cared for her a great deal, and though she certainly did not mean it in the same way, that was enough.
The next few days were a blur of shock and horror and guilt and grief. At the end of it all Kel knew what she had to do, what the Chamber had known she would have to do all along. She rode with the Sergeants as they headed back to Fort Mastiff holding a piece of paper gently in her hand. Before she made her excuse to head into the woods to investigate a “noise'' she entrusted it to one of them, with instructions, “When we return I will have to speak to Lord Wyldon immediately and will be too busy to take care of this in the timely manner required. Please send this letter to Sir Alanna of Pirate’s Swoop and Olau by way of Frasrlund as soon as possible. It is incredibly urgent.” She held back tears, unable to avoid imagining Alanna’s reaction to the letter she had written.
Alanna,
I’m so sorry. I had to. Please forgive me.
With all my love,
Keladry
She had expected to die. What she hadn’t expected was for her friends to come to her rescue. They headed North, all of them. Kel’s study group, Owen, Tobe, the horses, the animals, and a squad of the King’s Own. They might just pull this off. Though crossing the Vassar River presented a challenge she was unable to solve. Blessedly Neal had an idea.
They entered the village, dodging strange stares until Neal explained that the whisper man had sent them and even then they were still about to be turned away. Thankfully an old woman appeared, stating that Kel was touched by fate and instructing the other villagers to aid the ragtag group. Kel gave her a griffin feather as a token of her thanks. A busty young woman with kind eyes and a sweet smile handed Neal a letter. She told him with a lusty wink that it was for the whisper man, so that he had something to remember their time together by. Kel was incredibly confused. Wasn’t the whisper man Alanna’s husband? Was he… having dalliances with random women in his employ? If so, she vowed, she would kill him herself. How dare he make a fool of the Lioness like that.
She asked Neal about it that evening and he laughed and laughed until she fixed him with her best impression of an Alanna glare to which he retorted, still gasping through wheezes, “Mithros, you should see your face . I’m sorry Kel, I sometimes forget that you managed to avoid much court gossip.” He clapped her on the shoulder, “One thing I learned during my time with my lovely knight mistress is that she and her husband have a rather unique relationship. They love each other very much, never doubt that, but they see each other so infrequently. And well, let’s just say the Lioness has never been the type to be tied down by just one person. The Baron understands that and so while they are incredibly committed to their marriage and each other, they do have… other relationships, both together and separately.” He shrugged, “It isn’t my style, but it works for them and they’re happy.”
Kel stared at him, slack jawed. The Lioness took lovers who were not her husband? She could hardly believe it. Neal, misunderstanding her surprise, guffawed once more, “I’m sure I looked the same when I mistakenly walked in on her and Onua one morning. It’s an image I will unfortunately never be able to unsee.” He was called away to heal a blister, leaving her to digest her newly discovered information in shock. The Lioness took lovers who were not her husband and were women . Kel thought back on the letter she had received. I find myself missing you as well. Perhaps more than quite a bit. On that note, I wanted to apologize, Kel. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable at Mastiff before we parted ways. I have found myself in the predicament of caring a great deal for you. No, certainly she couldn’t have meant it in that way, could she?
The rest of the journey was mostly a blur. She met the seer Irnai who coined Kel the Protector of the Small, rescued their children, killed Stenmun and Blayce, and lost too many friends both human and animal. They made it back to the border and Kel was sure she was going to be tried for treason only to be blindsided when Wyldon told her that her punishment was solely to rebuild Haven. That she could certainly and gladly do. Her people deserved at least that much.
It took only three weeks to rebuild most of what she had coined New Hope, during which Kel was too busy to think about anything at all besides where to put what for the best defensibility and how to go about making improvements to the layout this time. Kel and Neal were in the stables taking care of Peachblossom and Magewhisper when they heard the call for an unknown party approaching and then the answering call identifying the travelers as friends. Strange, Kel thought, nobody had told them to expect more refugees today. She decided she would find out what was going on after she finished with Peachblossom. Surely Fanche could handle the newcomers for an hour at least.
It had been a mere 30 minutes when she heard Neal’s sharp inhale of breath in front of her. She glanced up in time to notice Neal’s face go aghast with fear as he breathed, “Mithros protect you for I most certainly cannot,” before turning and strolling away, long legs moving at a surprisingly urgent pace.
Kel snapped around to face the direction in which her friend had been looking before his abrupt departure and she caught sight of the one thing that could make Nealan of Queenscove abandon his best friend to her death. A short woman with copper hair was headed her way and you didn’t need to be a seer to tell she was angry .
“You idiot!” Alanna shouted when she reached her, pounding her hand on Kel’s chest. “You promised you wouldn’t be reckless! Running off to Scanra by yourself with some sparrows and a pack of rat catchers is the very definition of it! I ought to kill you myself! At least that way I know it’ll be quick and painless!” Kel caught Alanna by the forearms. The Lioness fought her, fury burning behind her violet eyes. The King’s Champion's quick temper was as legendary as her deeds, but Kel had spent enough time getting to know her friend to see the fear hiding behind her wrath.
“Alanna,” Kel interrupted softly, “I’m here. I’m okay. I’m safe. And I’m sorry I broke my promise. You deserved better than that.” Alanna stared up at the younger knight, her jaw, clenched tightly in anger, began to wobble. Kel felt the fury begin to drain from the smaller woman’s body and reiterated gently as she cupped the redhead’s face in one of her large palms, catching her eyes, “I’m sorry, Alanna.”
With those words the last bit of fight left the Lioness and her smaller body collapsed against Kel’s own, “I was so scared for you,” the older woman breathed before she began to quake with silent sobs.
Kel held Alanna close to her, allowing the shorter woman to put her arms around her and hide her face in the hollow of the taller woman’s collarbone. “I’m alive, Alanna,” Kel reassured the woman in her arms. “I’m so sorry. I know I scared you.” The Lioness’s copper curls brushed Kel’s nose and she couldn’t avoid the scent of her, earthy and windblown from her journey.
It took only moments for Alanna’s tears to wash away her fear and accompanying relief before she pulled back. Purple eyes met hazel and before Kel could even register what her body was doing, soft, feminine lips were on hers. Kel felt the shorter woman’s sharp quick breath of surprise and began to pull back, but Alanna didn’t let her go, instead choosing to chase her lips and tug them back into place against her own using the taller woman’s shirt. Kel lost herself in the feel of the Champion. She was acutely aware of every place Alanna’s body touched hers: hands gripping her back, clutching at her tunic, thighs against the older woman’s hips, her own hand fisted in the Lioness’s hair. She wasn’t sure how long it lasted, but eventually they came up for air. Kel studied Alanna’s face, looking for any signs of regret. Her eyes were dark and her lips were swollen and if Kel hadn’t previously been aware of the depth of her feelings for the other woman she certainly would know now. A thoroughly kissed Alanna was the most beautiful thing the young knight had ever seen. She had never wanted someone more in her life.
Alanna seemed to be studying Kel in much the same way, gauging her reaction before she cleared her throat, a pink hue spreading across her cheeks. The Champion’s voice came out husky and thick regardless of her efforts, “Well. Clearly we need to talk. Probably better for it not to happen here though.” She glanced around the stable, ensuring the absence of potential interlopers, “Is there somewhere more private?” She moved her hand from Kel’s back to caress the side of her face. “I’m sorry I lost my temper. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so scared in my life, Kel. I thought I’d lost you and there wasn’t a cursed thing I could do about it.” The Lioness’s eyes fluttered shut as Kel turned her face in order to kiss the other woman’s palm in apology.
“I know, Alanna. I don’t blame you for being angry. If I thought I had another option I would have taken it, if only to spare you the hurt.” She took the shorter woman’s hand in her own, “Come, we can talk in my chambers. No one will interrupt us there.”
They began the journey from the stables to Kel’s quarters and were frustratingly and ironically interrupted several times. Two refugees were having a squabble over laundry space and asked Kel to resolve the issue. One of the woodworkers wanted her opinion about the size and shape of a plaque hanging above the dining hall. A soldier found her to report on the progress the refugees were making during their weapons training. Alanna stayed silent throughout these occurrences, observing Kel at work and allowing her to do her job without interference. Finally, after much more time than they had intended, the two women found themselves at the door to Keladry’s chambers. Kel felt her heartbeat quicken with anticipation and nerves. She unlocked the door and held it open with a, “My Lady.”
The chambers of the commander of New Hope were plain, save for a few waving cat figurines and Kel’s practice glaive hanging on the wall. She turned to the Lioness, “It’s not much, but it’s home for now.”
Alanna grinned up at her in response, “I’ve been a Knight of the realm for almost as long as you’ve been alive. I’ve certainly suffered through much worse accommodations.” The Lioness softened for a moment before continuing, “I know I’ve told you before, but what you’ve done here, what you’re doing here, is incredible, Kel. You make yourself available to these people and treat them as equals when most others of your station would not deign to do the same.” The older woman popped up on her toes in order to place a chaste kiss on the taller knight’s rapidly reddening cheek, “I’m so incredibly proud of you, Lady Knight.” Alanna pulled back, studying Kel’s face carefully, “Now, I think we need to have a conversation.”