Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Between every dream, every poem, every word ever spoken.

Between every truth, every lie, every hypocritical comment.

Between space and time.

I am there, waiting and watching.

I was there, because I was taken, and brought to a world I could barely comprehend.

I still don’t know where I am.

Colors flashing, faces strung in demented shapes, screams beyond anything natural.

I can remember pain.

I can remember a figure, a silent being, or two, or three.

They took my eyes.

They took my ears.

They took my tongue.

They took my skin.

They took my hair.

They took my bones.

They took my lungs.

They took my stomach.

They took my heart.

They took my mind.

They took my voice.

They took my name.

They took my soul.

They took everything from me.

I am gone.

I do not exist.

Then why am I still here?

I remember burning.

I remember a prophecy… what was that prophecy?

Everyone I once knew is dead.

Everyone but Him, now in a mortal form, unaware of what He used to be.

Maybe I’m dead too.

And everyone else went to Heaven, and I went to Hell.

…

I don’t know.

Chapter Text

Waiting here for something to happen was perpetually boring. It always was. Hellbreaker didn't know why she kept waiting here in this mess of her own doing. She could always move stations and rebuild her nest, but where was the problem. The 3D Realm despised her, but her creator had an infinitely bigger grudge than the insects skittering about the shifting environments of this dimension.

There were too many factors in play to make her existence worthwhile. She wondered if this was how her creator felt, but surely, it couldn't feel what she did. It was unpredictable and brutal. It hated her because she broke a few rules, which were put in place for no reason. It enjoyed pushing her to her limits, seeing what made her tick and how far her power could go. And even when she escaped, she had nobody to turn to for any semblance of guidance. Such a cruel world this was. She doubted she would ever find solace in this universe.

Hellbreaker sighed heavily. She hung from a few black threads by her feet. These threads were all around her, encompassing her. This web of strings was her home, only marked by the beige background having scratch marks that never healed. Hellbreaker knew the dimension could fix this, it just took someone else to command the healing process. Unfortunately, nobody else was here but her, and she liked the scars. They made her feel represented in a way only she could understand.

Sometimes her home got visitors. Lost travelers, advertisers, the cheaters her creator brought in who desperately wanted to escape perpetual torture. All of them somehow got tangled in her web. No matter what their backgrounds were, most of them would meet their ends here. Either neatly gobbled up, or left to starve. Their flesh and blood was delicious, but Hellbreaker wished otherwise. She would rather survive off of candy and vegetables, but alas, as a creation of The Red Chaos, she had no choice.

Her fingers tapped along the sides of her body, then moved to touch the webs she was surrounded by. The smell of old death drifted through the air, and so did the scent of fresh meat. While the individual strings swayed rhythmically, she could feel a distinct vibration in a few of them. A twinge, twinge, twinge. A quiet hum, and then a period of stillness before it repeated. Hellbreaker knew exactly what this sequence meant.

Detaching from her spot, she quickly maneuvered to the source of the vibrations. Despite the tangled state of her lair, she was able to easily move from place to place. Each individual strand either avoided her, or migrated neatly into place. She could see the less fortunate mortals tangled up, who were lifeless, their eyes X'ed out in death. There were a few who were still alive, but it would not be long before they met their fate. None of them were who she was after.

"Help!" Cried a pathetic voice. "Bandu? My love? Where are you?"

What an interesting choice of words, Hellbreaker thought. She had found what she was looking for, hanging below her. A maiman was struggling to escape his prison of black threads. He wore a yellow shirt splattered with rainbows, and a cap the same yellow with some purple. His hair was yellow. His skin was a very light shade of yellow. If Hellbreaker were to guess, this man tasted like yellow.

He stopped struggling. Taking a moment to breathe. "I can't die here, I just can't!" He whined. "I need to find a way out..."

You talk like a children's cartoon protagonist, how adorable. Hellbreaker grinned. "There is no escape."

The maiman squeaked and whimpered upon hearing her voice. "Who's that?!" He demanded. "Show yourself!"

"Ok!" She cheered.

Almost enthusiastically, she snatched the strings that suspended this maiman and brought him up to her face. He swung from side to side. He screamed and cried. The fear coming off of him was potent and ripe, a good sign that he'd be a decent meal. But something about him wasn't right. Something that made Hellbreaker's grin falter to a closed smile.

Now that the maiman had stopped swinging, she used a different hand to keep him still. Her fingers pressed against his tiny body, and maneuvered so he'd slide right into her palm. Extending a claw, she cut the threads that held him, but left him tangled up. The fear in him grew as their eyes met. She could see tears brimming in his.

"A little bug, in the palm of my hand..." Hellbreaker purred, poking him in the belly with a sheathed claw. "How lucky you must feel."

"Hey!" The mortal squawked. "I'm not a bug! I have a name!"

Her eyes rolled in her sockets. "As we all do these days. Well then, let's hear it, shall we?"

Silence, for about five seconds. She could see clearly that this little man was questioning if he should answer. He seemed to be aware of a defining fact. No matter what he did in these moments, he would die. He'd explode in a shower of delicious blood, flesh, and organs. She could already taste it.

"Cameo..." the mortal whispered. "Cameo Raine... or Chaos. I don't know..."

The addition of chaos as a last name piqued her interest. "Hellbreaker." She said. "Why the name... Chaos? Why that? Are you married?"

Personally, Hellbreaker didn't see the point in marriage, and she doubted her creator did either. Cameo fiddled with his fingers beneath his web prison, and twisted one of his hands so it was visible. Sure enough, there was a ring. A golden ring with a green gem in the center, rainbows encrusting its edges. The shine that came off of the gem made Hellbreaker's eyes shimmer in wonder, but she refused to be bedazzled by a rock.

Yet, this particular pattern only added to her suspicions. The green seemed to pierce through her. The rainbows encompassed something so odd and queer that she almost felt frightened. The gold laughed and mocked her home. Mocked her.

Cameo laughed nervously. "Yeah, heheh..."

Hellbreaker brought the little bug closer. "Who is it, then?" She asked. "Who is this lucky fellow you have chosen to make yours?"

His glistening eyes narrowed. "W-why should I tell you?" He spat, though fear was the motivation.

"Well, since you're going to die no matter what, why not try and survive for as long as possible?" Hellbreaker explained, her fingers bending to secure her catch. "Besides, I rarely leave this place. I'm not a prowler, I sit back and wait for my food to come to me."

Her words made the maiman shiver. A human shiver, that she only observed in the cheaters of Earth before she chomped down on their fragile bones. From all the other odd quirks she's seen thus far, this mortal was much more than she realized. Was he in high power? A god, as her creator was claimed to be? This dude made no sense. Part of her wanted to throw him into her maw and get over it, but the democracy vote of her brain chose to do the opposite.

"Fine." Cameo huffed. "His name is Bandu. He doesn't have an actual last name, but he's a chaos god, so I thought Chaos would be a good last name if we ever decided to share last names or something." He glared up at her, tears beginning to stream down his face. "There, I said it! Are you happy now? Can you please, please let me go I don't want to worry him I-"

"Bandu?" Hellbreaker whispered, cutting him off. "The green guy who ports videos of himself overeating Bandu???" You've got to be pulling my leg. You've gotta be. What the fuck.

Cameo blinked in surprise. He attempted to wipe the tears from his eyes, but stopped at the last second. His saddened anger became confusion. "Yes, Bandu... is there a problem with that?"

Oh, there's so many problems with this. Past the massive age gap is a bunch of other shit you're probably too dumb to catch. A growl slipped through her teeth. "Did... did you somehow touch Bandu's heart? Did he actually fall in love with you??" Or is Bandu just being himself?

The questions only added to Cameo's confusion. "Um, yeah. I did. He did." He smiled. "We've been married for two years!"

So they married in 2005, Hellbreaker confirmed. "Ok. Ok. Sorry, little bug. I just never thought that butterfly could fall in love with anyone, but I suppose it's a given since the spider fell first."

There was a glint of pride in Cameo. He was likely proud that he was the first to bring out a new side to Bandu. "Butterfly? Spider?" He sniffled.

"Bandu, and Expunged." Hellbreaker explained.

"So you differentiate people by... calling them bugs?" Cameo asked, his head tilting to the side. "Kind of weird if you ask me..."

"I can do whatever I want." She grunted. "I am the tarantula, Grammostola. My creator is the spider, Seothyra. Its brother, your husband, is the moth, Calyptra."

"But I thought you called my love a butterfly!" Cameo blurted. "I... I don't understand. Why are you talking to me and asking me these things? You caught me, why haven't you killed me yet?"

The initial fear in him had returned. It was bound to, as time ticked on. He kicked at the webs stuck to his body, but like all other attempts, did nothing. Hellbreaker found herself in a tricky predicament. She had absolutely no idea what to do. She knew, obviously, that she had to kill and destroy. Devour this mortal, end his life. But then there was the fact that he MARRIED BANDU, which has never happened before in her four-hundred-thousand years of life.

Hellbreaker let out a sigh, not caring that it blasted Cameo in the face and made him scrunch up. "Ok, here's what we're gonna do." She said. "I will give you two choices. Choose one of them and that'll be it."

Cameo nodded slowly. "Ok, deal with the Devil type shit. Got it."

Yeah, there's no easy way around it, buddy. You're screwed. Hellbreaker adjusted her position. "I can set you free. I can let you run off to that little moth of yours, and you will live another year." She stated. "Or... I eat you, and you die right here, right now. A quick and mostly painless death."

"What happens if I say neither? I don't want to die!" He cried.

Her grin came back. She showed off her long, sharp teeth. "Then you will be my guest until you do." She purred. "Unless, of course, someone manages to save you, but the point still stands."

Cameo scowled. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! All I want to do is go home, not be offered a death sentence and torture! I'm not a cheater!" He shouted. "You don't know the ending to my story!"

Hellbreaker laughed, almost sadly. "Of course I know how your story ends, you're the praying mantis." And for a damn good reason, but you're too stupid to realize it. "Cameo... please, trust me when I say that meeting your end here will lead to a better fate."

"And why should I believe you? You could be lying!" He spat. "And you probably are! You just see me as food, don't you?"

Hellbreaker shrugged. "You got me there, but why would I lie about this? Think about it."

Cameo pouted. He squirmed in his black cocoon. "Just let me go, won't you?! Yeah fine I guess I'll take the option where I go back to Bandu, it's not like it's what I wanted to do in the first place you stupid maggot!"

Inaccurate description, but this didn't matter. Another decision was to be made. Make it count, or don't. Hellbreaker growled to herself. She didn't have to put up with this shit. She was her own individual person, who abided by her own rules and laws. She shouldn't be talking to this mortal. He was nothing but food in the end. The slow breeze and his ever-growing fear only emphasized this.

Fuck me. Fuck me. Ok, she thought. She brought a free hand close to Cameo, and extended a claw. She rested it against his soft belly, and the webs keeping him restrained. He whimpered and gasped quietly, before closing his eyes tight. He believed he was about to die... he believed wrong. She simply cut the strings, making sure to avoid dissecting him in the process.

Once this was done, she brushed and plucked the threads off of him, until he was completely free. For a moment, he was still petrified. Then he realized he was no longer being held at check, and slowly peeled his eyes open. Blinking, he sat himself up in her palm. Rubbing the tears out of his eyes, he looked up at Hellbreaker with a hidden gratitude she only spotted from the corners of his lips curling into a smile.

Before he could zip off, Hellbreaker clamped onto him, keeping him in an unescapable grasp. He shrieked and froze up in terror. She sighed heavily. "Don't worry, mantis. You're not on my menu anymore." She deadpanned. "I'm just guiding you out so you don't get caught in a web again."

Despite the distrustful stink-eye, Cameo hesitantly nodded. Hellbreaker smiled back. Instead of pulling herself through, she flew through her lair. She twisted and turned, and the webs all allowed her passage. She knew why they obeyed her, though. The silk she spun reacted to emotions and individuals. Hellbreaker was to be aided at all times, while everything else that exhibited fear was to be tied up. It was a neat little system that she had no help coming up with herself, and she was proud of it.

But like all good things, there would be a point where the webs ended. She had reached this point. While the background was still beige, the scars were absent, and just a little further away the corners faded to reveal other colors. She stared down at the maiman in her grasp, and with a quiet sigh, opened her hand. Released and free to go, Cameo made the foolish decision to stare up at his almost-murderer.

And then he screamed like a girl and flew away.

As she watched him zig-zag through the sky, Hellbreaker felt an odd sensation form in her stomach. She was only snacky, so this wasn't the gurgling and growling of perpetual hunger. This feeling made her frown and reach out to him. Was this guilt? Sadness? It was so random to feel, and yet so, so justified.

That man is going to die, she thought, guilt making its name known. I should've killed him the second we locked eyes.

I can't let this happen again...

If I somehow find another equally dumb, stupid person that has a thing with yellow and rainbows, I am going to protect them.

They don't deserve the fate you'll face, mantis.

Chapter Text

"Can you read me a story?"

The man in blue helping him button his shirt paused. His eyes trailed to meet his child's. "A story?" He inquired.

"A story!" Tristan squeaked. "I want a story. Like the ones you told me when I was little."

Dave smiled. "You're six, sweetie."

"I'm bigger!"

"Well, alright." He chuckled warmly. "What will it be? Alice In Wonderland? Miss Spider? Skippyjon Jones?"

"Hmm..." Tristan hummed to himself as he thought. "Tell me a new story. One I didn't hear!"

Dave nodded. He allowed his son to scuttle into bed, and he turned to sift through the bookshelf. All of the books he saw he had read before. This realization made him frown.

"What about that book over there?" Tristan peeped.

He pointed to a pillow on the other side of the room. On it was a flat, small object. Dave picked it up. When he showed it to Tristan, the book's cover had a drawing of a winged person with too many eyes, but no title. There wasn't an author either, it was just signed with a small symbol: a horse with a fish tail, and beetle wings.

"I don't know how this got here. I didn't get this..." Dave murmured. "I don't think this is a kid's story, buddy..."

Tristan's asymmetrical eyes glistened. "But it looks so cool... can't you read it? Please?"

Dave glimpsed at the book one more time. He sighed wistfully. "Ok, then. But if it's too scary or if you don't like it, let me know, alright?"

"Alright!" Tristan cheered.

Getting comfortable under his blankie, Tristan watched his father open the book. His eyes widened slightly, maybe he was scared? Tristan never got read any scary stories, which only made him more excited.

Then, Dave opened his mouth, and began.

"Clouds of deep umber covered the sky in a thick blanket of smog. Raining down, in small droplets, were crimson dots of blood. The land was scarred with burn marks, leaving no trace of life whatsoever. The ruined, decimated, destroyed buildings far and few across the barren outskirts looked to be on the cusp of crumbling into dust. In this helpless decay, a spaceship soared above the debris. In its cockpit were two souls: one a child, one a scientist..."

"Why did you stop?" Tristan asked.

Dave flinched slightly. "Sorry, I got lost in thought. Let me just continue...

"The child turned to the other. 'What happened?' He asked, voice frail and timid.

David, who was piloting, let his eyelids fall halfway, and he let out a stifled sigh. 'I wish I knew, Tristan. I wish I knew...'

'Did... the bad guys do this?' He peeped."

"Woah! Am I in the story?" Tristan blurted.

"No... no, I don't think so." Dave said quickly. "This kid just has the same name as you! That's it. Listen to the story...

"David was a man of strong composure, but at this question, his form seemed to falter. The suit of metal he wore was tight on his flesh. His eyes reopened, and glanced at the child with slit, yellow pupils. The rain dripping down onto the glass almost tinted it red. His hands tightened on the wheel, his wings folded and pressed against his back. His piston-like legs squeaked as he adjusted his position.

'The bad guys...' David murmured. 'Did anyone tell you who they were? Or was that kept a secret too?'

Tristan slumped. 'Dad never tells me anything... he just keeps me inside all the time.'

'Needlessly cruel of him, but I understand why.' David huffed. 'Do you wish to know their names? They will be revealed in one way or another if we continue down this road.'

'Yeah! I wanna know who took my dad!' Tristan cried. 'And when I see them I'm gonna punch them! And gut them! Nobody takes my dad away!'

The ambition and determination in the child impressed David. He would've smiled in this moment, but he knew what he was about to say would ruin it. 'The beings that took your father... they are known as Angels, child.' He explained. 'Long ago, we lived on a green world of life. Then, one day the Angels came, and...'

'And what?' Tristan pressed, his hands balling into fists within his own custom-made suit.

David's sharp teeth were bared. 'They took everything from us... EVERYTHING. Our homes, our friends, our families, our minds... those of us left had to leave. We built a new home in the stars, but we couldn't stay in one place for too long.'

'Because then the Angels would find you?' Tristan guessed.

'Precisely.' David nodded. 'That big ship you live in is one of the original five motherships, which is pretty cool, don't you think?'

'I guess... why did they take dad? He didn't do anything bad!'

'No... no he didn't.' David shook his head. An expression of guilt crossed his face. 'I don't know why they took him. He was only supposed to collect bio-matter from the exoplanet we encountered seven rounds ago. When he didn't update us, we sent a crew to check on him, only to find his ship, a ship just like this, empty. The cockpit was shattered, but there was no sign of death or decay. Only fleeting life.'

'I don't know what that means...' Tristan whined.

David dipped his head within his suit. 'These cosmonaut suits have built-in detectors that tell us if we're alive, hurt, or dead. Your father's suit has been reading alive for the entirety of his disappearance. The Angels don't like killing anyway, they would rather make us like them.'

Tristan's expression faltered. 'Make us like them?'

'Yes. Whatever they get their claws on... they turn it into an Angel too.' David went on. 'We call these changed people the Consumed. They don't remember who they are, even less that they were once human. The Consumed only seek to devour, like all other Angels.'

'Is... that what they're gonna do to dad? Make him evil?' Tristan asked, voice so hushed it was barely a whisper. He was now hugging himself with his arms.

'I wouldn't say evil, but... yes. That is their mission.' David said.

As much as he didn't want to break the news to this child, he had no choice either way. As expected, Tristan's silence spoke volumes. The boy's deformed eyes almost seemed to be pleading, desperately hoping that this wasn't really happening. David wanted it to be a lie as well, but it wasn't. This was real, and if they were too late, the boy's father would become an enemy. Yet, David already had the feeling that they had failed a long time ago...

'Why didn't dad tell me about this?' Tristan croaked. 'Why didn't he tell me there were bad guys and that he took a rocket ship?'

David brought his hand to his helmet, like he was holding his forehead in spirit. 'Your father... he wants to protect you. He loves you a lot, kid. So much more than you'd ever know. He... thinks by keeping reality a secret, he's protecting you.'

'But it's not fair!' Tristan shouted.

'I agree, which is why I'm telling you all of this now that I know you've been lied to this whole time.' David snapped. 'Dave was always a stubborn being to begin with...'"

"So I am in the story! And you are too!" Tristan blurted. "That's so cool!"

"I still think it's just people who share our names and act suspiciously like us..." Dave said. "I don't think I should keep reading this. I'm gettin' kind of scared myself, aren't you?"

Tristan shook his head. "Nah! I think it's really cool!" He chimed. "I wanna know what happens next."

"We can find out what happens next tomorrow." Dave said, closing the book. "I think that's enough for one night..."

The child pouted, but ultimately accepted his fate. He was tired anyways. Already in bed. Instead of putting the book on the shelf, Dave turned out the lamp, and gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead. In his wheelchair, he moved to the doorway.

"Goodnight, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite." Dave crooned.

Tristan smiled. "Goodnight."

"I love you." Dave whispered.

But Tristan didn't respond. He just smiled, watched as the room around him went dark, and listen to the door gently shut.

He was alone, now.

Yet, his mind was racing, wondering what the Tristan in the book would do with David... whoever that was.

Maybe it wouldn't have a happy ending.

Maybe.

But Tristan was never told any unhappy endings.

His curiosity only kept him up for another five minutes, until the darkness ushered his small body into slumber.

Chapter Text

"What the FUCK that's MY CAT in THAT PHOTO! STEALING! THEFT!!!"

"Daniel, that could be anyone's cat!" Dave cried. "And plus, your cat is dead!"

The other brunette scientist gasped. "No! You're lying! That's my cat and she's in Noyes's house!"

"Did you not hear the single father?" Noyes said. "Your cat is DEAD you DINGLE BERRY!"

"WHAT." Daniel blurted. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

Noyes smiled. "A DINGLE. BERRY." He repeated. "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO HUH? HUUUUH???"

"THAT'S A SLUR! I'M CANCELLING YOU ON TWITTER!"

"OH SHIT NOT AGAIN-"

"Did I fall for the Benadryl quiche thing again?" Muko whispered.

Dave managed a shrug. "Your guess is as good as mine." He whispered back.

He had... absolutely no idea what was going on. One moment he and Muko were sitting together, having coffee. The next, shouting and pointless arguing among the other scientists. Sometimes Dave ran off to not be included in this tussle. Other times, such as now, he stayed and watched. He felt reassured with Muko by his side, his partner in science and lovable dork friend.

Dave remembered meeting Muko in high school. Both were into science, even if Dave preferred mechanics and math, while Muko specialized in chemistry. The two clicked almost immediately. They would spend what few classes they shared talking and bonding. They even got ahold of some basic animation applications to make silly adventures of themselves doing silly things. Of course, Dave and Muko: The Series had a shit plot. It also had very bad and poor humor that would get them cancelled on the internet, so it was kept safe in a flash drive.

Daniel firmly pointed at Noyes with a flabbergasted expression. "GUUUUUYS! NOYES SAID A SLUR! HE CALLED ME A DINGLE BERRY!" He shouted. "THAT'S OFFENSIVE!"

Dave opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a fifth scientist leaning in from a doorway, her hair flowing like mist. "BE QUIET YOU GOOBIE SNOOBERTS!"

Everyone else stared at Antarc. Then, slowly, she slipped back through the doorway. The four scientists exchanged glances. It was dead silence for around three seconds before Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Be quiet, she says." He grumbled. "Don't make any disturbances because it will interfere with her work, she says. And then she proceeds to make a racket thirty seconds later."

"I thought it was you who always made a fuss." Dave inquired. "Besides, shouldn't you resolve that cat thing? There is such a thing as non-biologically-related doubles." I learned that from Muko!

Daniel glared back. "IT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS YOU CRIPPLE."

There's the ableism.

"QUIT BADMOUTHING MY BOYFRIEND YOU SHIT POPSICLE!" Muko shouted.

"Yeah!" Dave agreed. Then he stole a glance at Muko. "Wait did you just call me your-"

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU FOUR TO BE FUCKING QUIET!"

Antarc was back to leaning from the doorway. A stern and straight posture from a woman that wasn't to be quarreled with. Of course, none of them had directly physically hurt her, but their argument certainly got her attention. Dave knew his voice added made him a part of the fiasco, but Muko only spoke up to defend him. Either way, the four all shut up. Noyes put away his phone. Muko took a sip of coffee. Dave fingered the arms of his wheelchair, and Daniel restrained himself from growling.

Antarc groaned. "You guys are unbelievable! I can't go one day without you four arguing about something as stupid as Daniel's dead cat!"

"See?" Noyes said. "Dave was right. Your cat is dead."

"Fuck you." Daniel spat.

"ANYWAYS!" Antarc yelled, regaining her spotlight. "I was just informed that the secretary caught the flu, so guess what that means? No shenanigans. I mean it. Last time this happened, Pablo created a portable nuke and nearly decimated the orphanage thirteen miles away. You know, the one where Dave got a child?"

Dave remembered it well. Both adopting his pride and joy, and almost seeing that place and so many kids be annihilated in a show of trippy electrical reflections. He didn't actually get Tristan from the orphanage. One of his colleagues in teaching gave him Tristan because he literally couldn't care for a child. Dave gladly accepted the newborn, and has been happily raising the kid ever since then. Dave only told them the orphanage lie because he couldn't think of an easier way to explain it.

"We may be government funded, but we can just as easily be detained by those pigs." She sneered, continuing. "Now don't do anything stupid, your lives literally depend on it. Ok? Ok. Go do your sciences or whatever the fuck you came here to do."

With that, Dave watched as Antarc, Daniel, and Noyes wandered off to their separate rooms. Dave turned to Muko, who was finishing off his coffee. He crushed the paper cup in his hand and let it drop into the garbage can. Their eyes met. Dave could have sworn he saw a shimmer of rose red in Muko's cheeks, but it was probably his eyes messing with him again.

Soon after graduating, Dave spent some time getting a teaching license, and then soon discovered Muko had joined a super secret science organization. Now, Dave absolutely loved working with mechanics and engineering, and this organization claimed that he could do as he pleased within means. It sounded awfully sketchy at first, but Muko convinced him to join. Turns out this organization wasn't sketchy at all and took everything very seriously, albeit with the absurdness of a bunch of smart people being quarantined together in parallel play. The building was within driving distance, but due to living two different lives, Dave only visited on weekends and days where he didn't teach.

While Muko specialized in chemical research, Daniel was keen on breaching the unknown. The realities beyond this dimension. He was also obsessed with a cult nobody ever heard about, relating to this random being made of shapes. Dave never went to church, seeing as his family was a bunch of atheists, so he could care less. This cult was most likely built upon by countless misinterpretations and miscommunications.

Of all the things Noyes wanted to work on in this organization, it was the study of microbes. There was definitely a word for that, but Dave was still letting the caffeine settle in his system. Either way, Noyes had plenty of little dishes that, if left open, could cause some calamity in this otherwise safe environment. Dave once overheard him wanting to make a microbe that could biodegrade plastic and trash. It was a great idea on paper, but Dave wasn't sure if letting a new species run wild on the Earth would be a good idea.

Then there was Antarc, which was short for her full name: Antarcticite. Not only was she basically the mom of the group, she was also the one with the braincell 98% of the time whenever someone did anything wacky. She was interested in mechanics just like Dave, but true to her name, was also an adventurer. If she ever got on board a vessel, whether it be boat, plane, or locomotive, she'd make use of the journey.

"You know..." Said Muko, beginning to wander towards the nearest hall. "About our little rocket plan..."

Dave followed his partner in science. "What about it?" His heart sank. "Oh no, did something happen?"

Muko smiled brightly. "Indeed! Something did happen! And I believe you'll love it." He mused.

A pang of curiosity. The worry was swept away. The two went down the hallway, the burning scent of Clorox dripping from the pristine white walls and beige floors. This over-cleaning was only a precaution, considering Muko's lab was next to Dave's and he often experimented with chemical solutions. They passed a few doors, before coming in front of a metal hatch at the end... it was the entrance to the testing chamber. The green light above indicated that it wasn't in use.

Before Dave could reach for his security card, he felt fingers sift through his hair. They snaked down his head and to his cheekbones, where they turned his face to meet Muko's. Sapphire eyes met emerald irises. The two leaned closer and closer, until their lips met in the middle. Dave could taste the lipstick Muko always wore, vaguely reminding him of currants. They pulled apart just as quickly, and Dave slid his card into the slot, unlocking the testing chamber's hatch door.

Dave and Muko: The Series had at least one kiss per episode. For some reason, the two were lovers in this animation sequence. It was likely a joke and a play at how close their bond was. It only became somewhat real when the two were sitting together one day, doing nothing, when suddenly Muko brought up the idea. Dave agreed to it, but unlike their series, this kiss wouldn't be out of romance. It was purely platonic, as Dave never felt any romantic ties to anyone before in his life. Muko was the same.

Pulling open the hatch, the two went inside and closed the entrance behind themselves. The chamber itself was absolutely massive on the inside, around the size of an indoor gym at a school. The walls were all solid, a heavy-duty gray that didn't reflect nor shine. It was made out of some combination of plastic and metal. It was the only room with this material, and for good reason, considering its purpose. Dave watched as Muko ran to the middle of the room, where a human-sized object made of less durable metal sat. Dave felt his heart flutter.

This was their little project. Their not-so-secret brilliant plan. The combination of Dave's robotics and Muko's chemistry resulted in this contraption. It was a rocket in the shape of a shotgun bullet, with exhaust engines at the bottom, fins on the sides, and a red cap on top. Although it looked a little silly, and it had no real purpose, it was something Dave felt immensely proud of.

"No way. No fudging way." Dave gasped. "Did you complete it while I was gone?"

Muko nodded ecstatically. "I sure did! I completed the IDGAF Rocket... with help from Antarc of course, but still! I did it."

Only thing it needs now is a better name, its placeholder is stupid and will be laughed at if it ever gets out in public, Dave thought. He smiled gleefully nonetheless. "Muko you silly-nilly! You shouldn't have! Is it even ready for a test flight?"

"Should be. It'll need to be fueled and readied, and then it can fly. All the proper calculations have been made. Should work fine." Muko explained, nodding to himself. "Hopefully..."

"Well what are we waiting for? We've waited for this moment for some time. Let's go then."

Off to the side on the wall was a control panel on wheels, connected to a portable generator through several wires. There was also a small canister of liquid, which Muko swiftly grabbed and used to fuel the rocket. Dave sat behind the panel in his wheelchair. The buttons on it were just waiting to be pressed. He giggled and smiled, he felt like a child. It wasn't long before Muko stepped away from the rocket and came to his side... and yet...

"Now." Said Dave. "It's just a simple test flight. The littlest amount of fuel should allow it to reach the top of the chamber in seconds, and then activate the parachute so it has an easier landing. If it works as it should, we can do this several times before the fuel runs out."

Muko gave him a thumbs-up. "Sounds good to me!"

"Good. Let's do it."

Pressing a few buttons, a small light on the side of the rocket lit up. A sliver of smoke came out the bottom. The two scientists huddled together and whispered a countdown, descending through numbers until more light came from the rocket, this time the exhaust engines. They watched the rocket take flight. It practically zoomed from the floor and through the air, sailing all the way up, before suddenly coming to a halt before it could crash against the ceiling. Then it began to fall. Dave quickly pressed the button that would release the parachute, but nothing happened.

"Muko, it's not working." Dave said. "Parachute must be jammed... or we got the sequence wrong."

Muko was quiet. He frowned. "I didn't see that coming, did you?"

"Nope."

He sighed. "We're screwed, aren't we?"

Before Dave could say anything, a bright and fiery light bloomed right in front of him. This was quickly followed by a tremendous explosion that sent him flying. The force alone already brought him great pain, but it was only worsened when he slammed against the metal walls, then rolled on the floor. He didn't even get the chance to scream, it was too much. Too powerful. He should've seen this coming, checked everything over once again, but what was done was done. Time couldn't be rewound.

Dave's eyes were shut tightly. His entire body ached, from his head to his knees. His heart was beating a million miles per hour. His brain felt like a yarn ball unraveling. The rusty scent of blood filled his nose, combined with the unmistakable smells of various combustible liquids, and smoke. It made him cough. It hurt. It burned. He could hear the sirens blaring, so close, yet gradually getting farther away with every second.

This scared him. Why wouldn't it? Dave could barely feel his body past all the pain and numbness, but he was certain he wasn't left unscathed by the explosion. He was holding his breath now. He remembered training himself to do this when he was a child, but why he did this was lost. Different memories were flooding his mind. Memories of being in the grass and splashing in the water. Memories of laughing and singing. Even the brief kiss from earlier. Good memories. Was his life flashing before his eyes? He couldn't tell, they were closed in an attempt to cope with the agony.

Tristan came to mind. His son, at home, completely unaware of his father's fate. At least Tristan wasn't alone. Bambi was there, they said their hellos and goodbyes earlier in the day. Dave felt his heart sink. He wouldn't be able to ever see them ever again, unless he miraculously survived this trauma. Dave could only wonder and hope that Muko was better, but he had his doubts. The last scent to enter him without him breathing was the smell of flesh. His best, closest friend was gone, and Dave was going to join him very soon.

He never expected to go out in an explosion. He never expected anything for his death. It wasn't anything he could predict for himself, he just couldn't comprehend it no matter how hard he tried. What would happen when the darkness consumed him? Dave always thought that there was absolutely nothing afterwards. You died, and you were gone, just like a bubble being popped. Despite how irrational it was, a tiny spark in him wished he wouldn't completely fade away once he fell asleep. The least he wanted was to be a ghost, even if he would never be seen or heard except for himself. No afterlife, no bigger pictures, no things his living self couldn't fathom, just a specter unreflected.

The faces in his brain were fading, darkness and fog creeping in. The burning heat was replaced by cold. Oddly enough, the fear in Dave didn't grow. A sense of blithe was in its stead. The bliss of a loss of consciousness. A calmness washing over his nerves. Even his shut eyes relaxed, he couldn't stop himself from exhaling and going limper than he already was. Everything was drowned out.

Hopefully he'd wake up in a hospital bed, alive, but if not... Dave couldn't think of any regrets until this point. 

He lived the best life he could, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

In another dimension, two colossal figures sat beside each other on a burgundy couch. They were almost completely identical. One was red and black, the other green and white. Both adorning pointed hats like a witch. One with spheres for hands, the other only having three fingers. One whose body was solid, one whose body was a tube only inhabiting a calm cyan glow.

Before the two was an equally big screen, and between them was a bowl of jumbo-sized popcorn. They were watching a show that originated from Earth. It was called Columbo, and so far, it had both of their interests. The premise was intriguing, but to see this show in action was something else. Bandu, the green figure, couldn't help but smile every time the main character said his catchphrases.

"This is totally not gay." Expunged, the red figure, said with sarcasm dripping off every word. "Shirtless human sweating in the sun with a jackhammer being stared at by Columbo for hours? Not gay. No sir."

Bandu shoved some popcorn into his mouth. "Yeah, not gay. That's the gayest shit I've ever seen all year."

Expunged snorted. Before she could say something back, an orange exclamation point made itself known in the top right of the screen. Her brows furrowed. She tapped the screen with an invisible finger, pausing the show. She then moved to the alert in the corner. Columbo was soon replaced by a rendered map resembling bunched up, rainbow hexagonal prisms in a gray void. One of the prisms had the point over it.

"What is it?" Bandu asked, munching loudly on his popcorn.

"Amber Star Level Alert. A cheater probably tripped into the Realm on their own accord." Expunged explained nonchalantly. "Nothing to worry about... unless you're that cheater."

Bandu shook his head. "They never learn. Don't they realize how long and painful their deaths will be? This one should worry twice as much. I'm here."

"Oh, yes, they definitely should worry tenfold." Expunged agreed, a nasty grin forming on her face. "Let us take a look..."

She pressed the prism with the exclamation point, and zoomed in on it. Within the prism were fiery, flowing patterns on a black background, but no living organisms were in sight. The only thing there was a brief spark of yellow. The alert was directly over this spark.

"Now what do we have here?" Expunged hummed. "A brief dimensional power imbalance? I haven't seen this in around thirty years..."

"That sounds bad." Bandu murmured. "Is it bad? I think it's bad."

Expunged shrugged. "Typically this would be bad, but the humans have made no such efforts in years to break open a portal to our home." She said. "And whenever they try to do that, they always use some artificial machinery. This, however, seems organic..."

Tapping the alert itself, several squares full opened in its stead. Most of the squares were filled with text and symbols, but one had a picture. The profile of a 2D human with fair skin and short brown hair, wearing a white lab coat with a teal shirt underneath. A wheelchair's rest was behind him. The letters above his picture indicated a name. A name that only made Expunged's grin widen considerably.

"Well I'll be!" The Red Chaos sneered. "It's been quite a while since I've seen your face."

"Dave Suss Moggus..." Bandu read off the screen. He chuckled. "That's gotta be the unluckiest name in the 2D World! What humans in the late 80s name their kids that? No, seriously. This is a 3D thing I'd think."

"And it is. His parents were both human, but one was 2D, and the other fled from here to Earth on his own accord." Expunged purred, licking her teeth. "Bandu, remember how I once haunted a child in the form of a house cat? This man used to be that child."

Bandu was quiet for a moment. He grabbed another handful of popcorn to shovel in his mouth. "I remember. Oh, I remember. He was friends with that brat rich kid. Are they still friends? Hope not. David doesn't deserve friends." He growled. "Does this mean Dave has weird powers or something?"

"He does, but they haven't been active since he was an infant. In all my years of spying on him, he never learned to use or control his power." She said. "He can tear open rifts with ease. His strength is equal to mine when controlling the Realm, just like that stupid blue double of mine. If it wasn't for his mother pleading and begging, he would've been very dead a long time ago..."

"Do you regret not doing it? I mean, if I were you, I'd kill the infection before it takes root and gets worse. No matter how much that lady begs and bargains." Bandu shook his head. "Sorry ma'am, your son can literally doom both your world and our own, he can't be allowed to exist anymore. Not in the flesh or as a ghost. Just gone, nothing."

Expunged's smile faded for a moment. "This implies you would willingly end the light of a new life." Her grin came back. "Cool."

He stifled a laugh. "Cool. Yeah. But what do you plan on doing? This guy's an adult now and his powers are waking up." Even if his eye was currently his mouth, he skimmed Dave's file. "And he just lost half of his legs in a boom-boom. Ouch."

Expunged tapped her chin. She grabbed a piece of popcorn and held it up to her face. "I will do nothing, for now. Within time, Dave will create a rift and be curious enough to see what's on the other side. He shall meet his fate like all intruders of the Realm." She tossed the popcorn into her mouth and bit down, an audible crunch coming from within her jaws.

Bandu got the message, it was clear as crystal. "He will die here." He muttered. "But Dave doesn't seem all that bad, why not let him live a little longer? See how he fairs with the Realm? After all, I haven't seen this guy before in person. I wonder if he's fun to play with. I bet he's gonna be super anxious and wildly curious about literally everything, he'll be in our territory!"

Expunged smirked, nodding. "Always the one to suggest delays, aren't you? Nevertheless, I think it's a good idea." She purred. "Yes, yes, I can see it. Let Dave get used to this world he cannot comprehend. Let Dave learn as much as he wants. Let Dave remain unaware that his life is on a timer."

"I'm good at pretending to be mortal." Bandu added. "I can be all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows to him and make him think he's safe here, when in reality... we both kind of want him gone. More so you, but now that I think about it, I don't think I'd want him around that long either. He's narrowly escaped death a few times now. He does seem easy to toy with..."

Expunged's grin only grew. "It is an excellent plan. While you pretend to be the best friend he could ever ask for, I will continue being myself. Poking him in the side and instilling the fear of death into his heart." She chuckled. "It won't matter if he notices me stalking him or not. It won't matter if your friendship ends up blossoming or bombing. It won't matter... it is already too late for him."

"It is already too late." Bandu agreed, his frown curling into a wide smile. "We're coming, Dave."

Chapter Text

Sorry I haven't been writing here. I don't even know why I'm apologizing to you, but take it if you must. So many things have been on my mind. Things I want to overcome, and things I am currently going through the five stages of grief over. Oh, woe is me. A pitiful creature who has seen too much and recognizes the processes before they even begin.

Where do I start? I have too much to discuss. Too much to write down. Should I write it simply, or long and in detail? Indecisiveness has burdened me these past few days, and I wish it left me alone. It has led to my behavior being unpredictable and spontaneous in the eyes of others. Clearly, they have never seen their dreaded Red Chaos anxious or fearful before. I want to tell them this, but I know I mustn't. I need them to believe I am still the ruthless god that oversees the fluctuating skies of our home.

Ah, yes. The mortals of this world. The maimen, the atypicals, the more-recent humans. They are all a species collectively known as coalescapiens. They have adapted to the qualities of the Third Dimension, and will become psychologically distressed if in the 2D World for extended periods of time. Their bodies can't handle the pressure, and shrink to accommodate for the gravity should they take a 2D form. Should they be overstimulated in the 2D World, they will have seizures and strokes. If humanity ever wages war against us, attempt to colonize us, they can easily win with enough flashing lights.

I have mixed feelings for these 2D humans. They do not have a home as malleable as ours. I pity them, I fear them, I hate them. They are innocent beings, and yet there is much greed and misunderstanding beneath their laughs. They did not exist when I was born, and perhaps it was for the better. I couldn't imagine what would happen if I suddenly blinked into existence today instead of so long ago.

Dave is one of these humans. A hybrid between two worlds, who is slowly becoming aware of us. I met him when he was a mere infant, whose powers had briefly breached the 3D Realm, and thus summoned me. It was thanks to his mother's warbling that I didn't take him back home with me. A brief restraint on his powers was bestowed by me, and I've haunted him in the form of a cat through his years as a child. Astonishingly, he seemed to be immune to my aura, which does explain how he is not corrupted. Even now, when he lost his legs, he is perfectly uncorrupt. Almost too perfect.

The power he beholds matches mine. He can overwhelm me if I am not careful, but I doubt he has any malicious intentions. If he does, I can promise him that his death will be long and painful. But he has a child to feed, according to the scouts. It may buy him more time. It might cut his life shorter. Either way, he will die, and I will be there, as I always have. Watching. Waiting. Wondering, but not forever.

I have my own family to worry about as well. My first two creations still live to this day, as I have brought them back numerous times, and so has my brother. There are three trixes, some experiments, a mimifly, my minions, Elsen. Then there is Hellbreaker, who I have created to be strong in power and soul, but they insist on destroying. I have never been a good parent to him. Past me didn't know how to parent, even less deal with a rowdy, detrimental being that hates my guts. I want to be better to him. He deserves it, after all I've put him through. Maybe then he will look after the others, but much time has passed, and so I doubt.

Perhaps it is due to this that I failed Nils. I was so busy when I decided to actually become a parent for once. I was worried about your safety. You were so weak and ill, I couldn't think of anything to fix you. You died in my arms and willowed, like I once had, but you never came back. I miss you, wherever you may be now, if anywhere. I hope to find you one day.

I need to stop getting off track. While I have been thinking about these things, they are not what I have been thinking of most. I... don't want to admit this. If I do, then it'll be true, and I don't want it to be. Yet I know it is. I can't ignore it. I can't hide this from my entries, it would be unfair.

I can see between these lines. Little glimpses of what's to come, or what is hiding behind the seems of spacetime's fabric. My brother used to be able to do this. Although I can't get a clear view of it, I can sense it. The end will be here soon, but not the realm's, nor the universe's.

Me and my brother have lived for so long. We are immortal in the eyes of everyone, but in reality, we are not. The only reason me and Bandu come back to life is because of the cores within our chests. They bring us back. Every time. If they are completely destroyed, we will be unable to come back to life. It hasn't bothered us until ten thousand years ago, but now, it decides to haunt my memory again. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. I...

I'm terrified. Very terrified. I've died and come back so many times. Never has my death been permanent. The loop I've been ruled by almost seems preferable than my imminent closure. I don't know what will become of me when I pass... will I become a ghost? Reincarnate, similar to Bambi? Cease to exist? I don't know. What I do know is that once I fall, so will Bandu, and the rest of the 3D Realm will come crashing down.

At most, I have a few years left. I hope. I don't know what to do with the time I have left, but I know I cannot tell anyone this. If the 3D Realm knew, they'd sit and wait for me to die, or try and do it themselves. Humanity would certainly take a shot. I don't know about those I know, like that tantalizing child, who is unaware that my corruption allowed his cat to hide in his head. Or that strawberry thing. Or Dave. Dave doesn't even know who I am. From what I know of him, he'd likely pity me, which is the last thing I need from him.

I could try to be a better person, but my sins have already sealed my fate, so is there a point to this? Maybe. With those that barely know me, give a good first impression. With those that know slightly more of me, try and make amends with them, if they accept my apology. Only a select few genuinely care about me. I can only hope that they'll be there with me, but why would they hold my hand as I draw my last breath? They have no obligation to. They have better things to do than comfort a dying god. I'm despised by the realm. I dug this hole. Might as well bury myself in it.

Ha ha... I'm getting older. I'm millions of years old, yes, but it's now hitting me how much that actually is. Nobody has lived as long as I have, except maybe Bambi, and possibly that Flesh Queen who beat the shit out of me and Bandu however long ago that was... which was almost two hundred years ago. Huh. Fuck this time blindness.

Well. Since I'm going to die no matter what, why not try and relax? Take things easy for once. Don't get involved unless I absolutely have to. Yes, that's a good idea. There's just one problem with that, and that's anxiety. If I don't maintain my self-inflicted duties I'll worry too much and waste precious seconds. Time is ticking, I can't let it fade this quickly.

One thing I know I'll be doing for sure is messing with that mortal. That Dave, that strange man. His fate and mine are intertwined. I'll make sure that his end is met before me, and if not? Bandu can finish the job. I would rather take this pitiful human's life, though, so watch your back you little shit because hell's coming with me.

Despite being around this long, there is still so much I want to do. I want to adventure, I want to invent and study. I want to learn and master what I haven't already done. I want to fall in love again, and it's funny. I already have, again, but I know I can't act upon these feelings. You don't feel the same way as I do for you, and it hurts, but I understand completely.

You might have noticed that my writing style here isn't the same as the one used in most of my other entries. Why is this? Because I'm scared. I thought that was obvious. I don't even know why I'm continuing to write here, I got the point across, didn't I? I'm going to die soon. I don't know what I'll do with the time I have left, nor do I know what I will leave behind once I'm gone. I still can't fathom this. I'll be gone, soon, like all those that died to me. This fear I feel now must have been what they felt in their final moments...

...

I can hear the wisps singing outside. The Third Dimension is a deep, deep blue, like a bedroom at night. It's a little chilly, but things will warm up soon. I look forward to having soup and tortellini for dinner. I can almost taste it.

Chapter Text

SPECIMEN NAME: BAMBI BAMBI BAMBI

SPECIMEN CODENAME: OCELLUS

HEIGHT: N/A

WEIGHT: N/A

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Parent 1 of OVERSEER and TYRANT. Once was very powerful and wise. Helped destroy DEVOURER. Weakened permanently by an advanced weapon created by ARCHIVIST. Reincarnates after each death. Currently living with APOTHEOSIS and CATERPILLAR unaware of past or self.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: PRE ALPHA

SPECIMEN CODENAME: OUTSIDER

HEIGHT: 5'8

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CONCEIVED?

DATE OF DEATH: UNKNOWN

CAUSE OF DEATH: EATEN BY SPECIMEN 'TYRANT'

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Parent 2 of OVERSEER and TYRANT. Specimen is an alien species known as a Nomad. Capable of summoning brilliant wings and consuming souls, gaining memories from said souls. Ironically met his end the same way. Possibly in love with OCELLUS.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: BOB

SPECIMEN CODENAME: SYNTHETIC

HEIGHT: 1'3

WEIGHT: 30lbs

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: "CREATED AS A BIOWEAPON"

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Spontaneous and impulsive. Specimen is friends with OCELLUS but prefers to mess with others. Fond of collecting things. Has a hatred for SONGBIRD.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: ASTRALLIAS

SPECIMEN CODENAME: DEVOURER

HEIGHT: 600'

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

DATE OF DEATH: [REDACTED]

CAUSE OF DEATH: [REDACTED]

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Mimicking the cosmos, it only seeks to devour everything in its way. Once tried to devour Earth, but failed. Met its end attempting to do the same to the 3D Realm.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: HEART OF GOLD

SPECIMEN CODENAME: PURITY

HEIGHT: N/A

WEIGHT: N/A

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Appeared for unknown reason. Specimen produces powerful auras that calm those nearby. Creates a living flesh puppet to protect itself, vessel having its own soul, hopes and dreams, often having a fraction of PURITY's power. Specimen's vessels never live to adulthood, always die premature.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: DATA EXPUNGED

SPECIMEN CODENAME: OVERSEER

HEIGHT: N/A

WEIGHT: N/A

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: ACCIDENTAL

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Twin to TYRANT, hatched from an egg in the raw 3D Realm. Lost an eye to OCELLUS. No unique powers from OCELLUS or OUTSIDER. Responsible for the existence of Coalescapiens and any specimens branching from them. OVERSEER's mental state has degraded over millions of years.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: HELLBREAKER

SPECIMEN CODENAME: FAILSAFE

HEIGHT: 110'

WEIGHT: 700lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY SPECIMEN 'OVERSEER' WITH INTENTIONS OF FREEING TRAPPED SOULS

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Was raised from a small size of 20'0. FAILSAFE displayed outbursts of irritation and a disposition for destruction. Isolated to Far Far Away after causing major damage to 3D Realm's integral structure. Area is now known as Hell's Spiderweb. FAILSAFE has calmed since then.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: ZETRUS ATTURO

SPECIMEN CODENAME: ARCHIVIST

HEIGHT: 4'10

WEIGHT: 110lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY 3D PARENTAL BEING(S)

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Was once an inventor, but after crippling OCELLUS obtained blight. Specimen froze himself, freed by ANGEL tens of thousand years later. Specimen now collects artifacts, but is getting weaker.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: NILS

SPECIMEN CODENAME: CONDUCTOR

HEIGHT: 4'0

WEIGHT: 22lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY SPECIMEN 'OVERSEER'

DATE OF DEATH: ELEVEN YEARS AFTER CREATION

CAUSE OF DEATH: COMMON SICKNESS

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Unstable biology causes specimen to catch illnesses quicker than most mortals. Additionally has weak control over 3D Realm. Quarantined for most of their life. Infected with starblooms, blight, and mori. Buried at the edge of a cliff. Soul location unknown.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: ARIEL

SPECIMEN CODENAME: DIVINE

HEIGHT: 7'3

WEIGHT: 15lbs

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: RANDOM 3D REALM FLUX?

DATE OF DEATH: [REDACTED]

CAUSE OF DEATH: REVOLUTION

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Hypothesized reincarnation of DEVOURER. Created several beings in an attempt to replicate an ancient power, framed it as work for a company. Failed. After dying from a revolt from their own creations, specimen was reduced to a tiny star in the wind.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: BOYFRIEND

SPECIMEN CODENAME: SONGBIRD

HEIGHT: 4'9

WEIGHT: 130lbs

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

DATE OF DEATH: ???

CAUSE OF DEATH: ???

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Specimen is capable of time travel and uses this ability to sing with entities. Capable of coming back from death. Not in control of his own actions.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: ERIS

SPECIMEN CODENAME: STRIFE

HEIGHT: 6'0

WEIGHT: 157lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY SPECIMEN 'OVERSEER'

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
A fervent soul capable of opening portals between 2D and 3D dimensions. Cannot speak, communicates through sound effects and images. Has a fondness for golden apples.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: CAECILIAN

SPECIMEN CODENAME: FLUTTER

HEIGHT: 300'

WEIGHT: 40lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: REGURGITATION

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Countless mori vomited from OVERSEER, TYRANT, and THUNDER congregated together to form an atypical shape. Capable of speech, only speaks in riddles. Has connections to [DELETED].

***

SPECIMEN NAME: BANDU

SPECIMEN CODENAME: THUNDER

HEIGHT: 5'0

WEIGHT: 175lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Significantly weaker, still powerful enough to cause 2D rainstorms. Can no longer open portals. Retains soul-eating ability. Weakened physical, mental, and spiritual state allow specimen to be possessed easily. Souls in eyes sometimes control specimen for a few seconds.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: N/A (PREFERS TO BE UNNAMED)

SPECIMEN CODENAME: FRAGMENT

HEIGHT: 5'0

WEIGHT: 2lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Extremely unstable, only forms to a conscious wireframe if a specific song is playing. Shares voices with THUNDER. Memory issues clear after a minute or so of consciousness. Terrified, weak little thing...

***

SPECIMEN NAME: BAMPAL

SPECIMEN CODENAME: ANGEL

HEIGHT: 6'7

WEIGHT: 70lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY SPECIMEN 'DIVINE'

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Siblings were killed by a laser, specimen would've been next. Rescued by ARCHIVIST, now lives with said maiman in Main Song District. Responsible for the stars in the night sky. Delivers mail via special shoes, capable of summoning wings for himself.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: [UNKNOWN]

SPECIMEN CODENAME: QUEEN

HEIGHT: ~2400'

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: MITOSIS?

DATE OF DEATH: [REDACTED]

CAUSE OF DEATH: EATEN BY SPECIMEN 'OVERSEER'

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Encountered and died on the same day she was discovered. Has immense power over 3D Realm, able to prevent control from OVERSEER and THUNDER. Assimilates anything in her path. Upon contact with FAILSAFE, specimen suddenly burned and writhed with pain if touched by OVERSEER or THUNDER. Same result occurred with minions. Tastes like bliss.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: [DELETED]

SPECIMEN CODENAME: VISITOR

HEIGHT: UNKNOWN

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
[SECTION DELETED. FUCK YOU!]

***

SPECIMEN NAME: [DELETED]

SPECIMEN CODENAME: FORGOTTEN

HEIGHT: UNKNOWN

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Paired with VISITOR. (Why does he look so much like APOTHEOSIS?)

***

SPECIMEN NAME: MOLDY G.H.

SPECIMEN CODENAME: GLITCH

HEIGHT: UNKNOWN

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: LATE 1800'S

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CONCEIVED

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Specimen was human and only trying to take the train across countries. Encountered VISITOR, FORGOTTEN, and OVERSEER. Bitten by VISITOR, banished to unknown realm. Still alive. Presence distorts reality, prefers to agitate OCELLUS, THUNDER, and OVERSEER online. Friends with APOTHEOSIS?

***

SPECIMEN NAME: DAVE SUSS MOGGUS

SPECIMEN CODENAME: APOTHEOSIS

HEIGHT: 5'3

WEIGHT: 125lbs

DATE OF CREATION: JUNE 20th, 1988

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CONCEIVED

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Has immense power over 3D Realm, capable of opening portals between 2D and 3D existences. Cannot control this power. Hybrid of 2D and 3D beings. Immune to corruption. Currently living with modern iteration of OCELLUS, adopted CATERPILLAR.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: TRISTAN ELYTRON MOGGUS

SPECIMEN CODENAME: CATERPILLAR

HEIGHT: 4'1

WEIGHT: 70lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED AS A VESSEL FOR SPECIMEN 'PURITY'

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Extremely friendly and gullible. After APOTHEOSIS (adoptive father) was crippled learned to bottle up emotions. Naturally produces an aura of tranquility, preventing aggressive animals from harming him. Picky eater. Not immune to corruption.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: BLADE

SPECIMEN CODENAME: REAPER

HEIGHT: 12'2

WEIGHT: 160lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY SPECIMEN 'OVERSEER', REPLICANT OF SPECIMEN 'CATERPILLAR' AND SPECIMEN 'PURITY'

DATE OF DEATH: 30 DAYS AFTER CREATION

CAUSE OF DEATH: HEART DISEASE, SNAPPED NECK

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
REAPER is notably immune to corruption just like APOTHEOSIS, additionally withstanding most 2D and 3D illnesses. Specimen is sensitive to pain and hates being touched. Paradoxically, specimen has a fondness for agitating other beings.

Chapter Text

It was a perfect late-morning on the cornfield. Summer was strung in the air, and it made everything nice and warm. Even a little breeze could be felt. It was also a day like any other, or at least to Bambi. The same couldn't be said about Dave and his son Tristan, who were still getting used to living on a farm somewhere in Brazil. Dave and Bambi were relaxing outside on a bench in the farm, with refreshments beside them, and cards in their hands. Tristan was in the house, playing video games on a Nintendo Switch.

Not too long ago, something strange happened. Dave had encountered an infamous rapper known as Boyfriend, who requested to battle him. Dave had taken lessons before, and they came useful when the two decided to duel. The first song went smoothly. The second song, Dave felt a little grumpy that he was losing, but it was to be expected. Boyfriend was good. Too good.

Once the second song ended, things started to get weird. The two were suddenly transported into a wild and psychedelic plane of existence, where everything was blood-red, and floating around them were grotesque, foreign geometries that couldn't be perceived in any normal way. Even Dave himself was suddenly made of these shapes. The worst part about it however, was that he was entirely responsible for this. He didn't know how or why, but he had the power to open portals to this dimension. Unfortunately, his emotions got the better of him, and he accidentally, somehow, created a rift big enough to slowly pull in Earth. Thankfully Boyfriend managed to help Dave calm down before any lasting damage was made, which allowed the rift to seal itself.

An event like this would certainly not go unnoticed, especially since Dave was the cause of it. He was forced to flee his country, and take refuge somewhere else... like his friend's corn farm. Somehow, the rest of the world was unaware that Dave almost caused the apocalypse. This made starting over easier, but it was still challenging. He needed to find a job, and gain the trust of the people around him. Not to mention taking care of Tristan, and the lingering feeling of someone finding the few people cryogenically frozen in his old home's basement...

But it was behind him. Now, here in the present, he was playing Uno with his best friend. Dave stared at the cards in his hands. "I don't have any reds." He murmured.

Bambi snickered, clearly pleased by this fact. "Then draw."

Dave groaned and threw his head back dramatically. "But I don't want toooooo... I'm just gonna get a bunch of yellows and greens or something..." he whined.

"You gettin' corn colors?" Bambi gawked. "Lucky... I think Tristan called for you."

"He did?"

"Yeah."

Huh. Being in a wheelchair made it easy to part from Uno. Dave set his cards on his side of the bench, and wheeled himself towards the house. He opened the door, and poked inside. Tristan was on the couch, controllers in his hands. On the TV was a character driving a racecar through what looked like a world made of cheese. Dave recognized it as a round of one-player Mario Kart 8.

"Did you need something?" Dave asked.

Tristan paused the game, and turned to face his father. His hair was three question marks. "What? No, I'm ok."

Dave squinted for a moment, then nodded. "Sorry." He apologized. "I thought you called for me."

Tristan smiled brightly. "It's alright!"

"Good..."

He watched Tristan flip back to the TV, and resume the game. Dave nodded to himself before backing out and closing the door. He returned to the bench where Bambi was, and situated his chair back in its spot. Bambi had a smirk on his face. As Dave's eyes traced to the two piles of cards, he could take a guess at why. The draw pile looked somewhat disturbed, like the wind nudged it... or someone else.

Dave picked up his cards, and drew a new one. His eyes lit up. "Hot damn! A red!" He exclaimed.

Just as he went to put his red in the discard pile, Dave was suddenly assaulted by a loud, grating, high-pitched noise. Like claws on a blackboard, or screeching metal. Either way, the sound immediately forced him to scream and cover his ears. Bambi did the same thing. The surrounding farm of corn and a house suddenly blurred into bright, flashing colors. Dave shut his eyes tight, but the sound would not go away. He swore he could still see rainbows flickering at every possible direction, no matter how hard his eyes were shut.

Then, as quickly as it came, it all stopped. The noise faded into nothing, and the laser show of color went away. Dave took a few moments to catch his breath. Was that a hallucination? God I hope it was, I really don't want to suddenly be thrown back in that horrible place that got me wanted by the Nowhere FBI, he thought. He opened his eyes, and instantly froze. Dang it.

He jinxed it. His body now consisted of abstract polygons that were indescribable to look at. Similar and different shapes floated around him in a red abyss that looked to be straight out of a poorly-edited video. No matter where he looked, it was all around him. At least there were no rifts or portals, so hopefully he hadn't repeated the end of the world. Hopefully he wouldn't get shot the moment he returned from this place... if he returned...

Bambi was in front of him. Unlike Dave, he remained exactly the same, and had not adapted to this dimension's strange quirks. However, his eyes were wide in shock, and his legs kicked the open air they both floated in. He swiftly bounced into Dave's lap, and hugged tight. Dave immediately wrapped his arms around Bambi's small body.

"Everything is so weird..." Bambi whimpered. "I-I didn't realize it was..."

Dave did his best to comfort his friend, despite being unable to see his fingers on his sphere-like hand. "Shh... shh... we'll be ok..." he whispered. Hopefully...

As his eyes darted across the shifting, swirling abyss of alien geometries, he noticed something. Everything was much slower, more calm. More stable than when the Earth was being sucked into this place. Even the nausea-inducing fluctuations in the dimension had toned down, to the point that Dave was mesmerized. Even Bambi, after a few moments of comfort.

But this calmness didn't last. Everything gradually became a little darker, and then Dave heard it. A loud, distorted laugh echoed throughout the dimension. It instantly sent chills down his spine and into his bones. It made Bambi freeze and tense in his grasp.

"IT APPEARS A CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED." The voice boomed. "A CRIME AGAINST THE SYSTEM FROM WHICH YOU BROKE THE RULES."

Dave's head whipped around, but no one was there. Nothing that could've made the sound was there. "Who are you? WHO ARE YOU?!" He screamed.

His question remained unanswered. The voice continued, this time fury seeping into its words. "AND BLUNDERS SUCH AS THIS..."

The space around Dave and Bambi shook like an earthquake. The two held onto each other tighter, despite nothing being able to separate them. Once the shaking finally stopped, something new appeared in front of them. Something big, and crimson. It was made out of the strange shapes in the dimension, and easily towered over Dave and Bambi like they were something small and insignificant. It had a head, a body, and two legs. A hat with a wide brim, a point at the top, and two tassels. Two horizontally-stretched eyes with pupils like a goat's, and an enormous hypothetical-ear-to-ear grin full of sharp teeth. Scuffled black hair draped down the back of its head. Despite it appearing wrong on multiple levels, it seemed... human. Hell, it even resembled Bambi, not that this fact comforted Dave at all.

At last, the brilliant being in red tilted its head down, its stretched oblong eyes glaring into their souls. "...HAVE CONSEQUENCES."

Dave had absolutely no idea how to respond. By all means, he couldn't even form anything rational to say. Between the confusion of ending up here, and the fear of the behemoth in front of them, he was left in a stalemate. All he could do was stare up at it, completely frozen, silently praying it wouldn't suddenly attack. Yet it was inevitable. He couldn't see any emotion past it except for a crazed, maniacal expression.

Moments later, the creature leaned forward, until it was at eye-level with Dave. It was still humongous up close. Here, he could really get an accurate comparison of himself with it. He was about as big as one of its knife-like teeth. He shivered, hugging Bambi tighter. He could feel its warm breath on his body.

Then it spoke, its distorted voice suddenly much quieter and softer. "Oh... oh my... how curious." It murmured. "Who are you?"

Dave flinched from the question, which in return caused the being's warped eyes to flicker with twisted excitement. He quickly spoke up, stammering on his words. "Dave... Dave! A-and this is Bambi...?"

Silence from the red giant. Its eyes narrowed slightly, as if suspicious. Dave trembled in his chair. "T-that's our names..." He added. "Dave Suss Moggus and Bambi Bambi Bambi!"

"Dave and Bambi..." the behemoth murmured to itself. A few more moments of awkward silence passed before it spoke again. "Your names will be lunch if you don't explain yourselves."

His heart sank, he was breathless. Dave didn't know how to respond. He had done many things in his life that required a bit of explaining, but what did this abomination want? It was not specific in the slightest. It could've referred to anything. What happened if he said the wrong answer? He didn't know. The only thing Dave did know, was that if he didn't say anything soon, he and Bambi would die.

Minutes passed, and not a word was uttered. The alien dimension continued to shift and fluctuate around them. It was getting darker, yet the light level did not change. Dave and the eldritch creature hadn't broken their staring contest, but he couldn't shake off the feeling that it was getting closer. Slowly inching nearer and nearer. Dave wanted to run, but he was too afraid to move. All he could do was stare into its eyes. All he could do was wait for the inevitable.

"Is it gone yet..?" Bambi whispered.

The moment he spoke, Dave squeaked and broke away from the thing's eyes to look down at Bambi. Then he realized his mistake. He swiftly turned back to the creature, eyes wide and face pale. He was right. It had gotten closer, its already-wide grin somehow much bigger. Its eyes shone with an indescribable emotion. Perhaps excitement. Probably hunger.

Suddenly, the dimension went black around them like the power went out. Everything became shrouded in darkness. Nothing could be seen. Neither Dave and Bambi, nor the geometric creature about to end their lives. They screamed and closed their eyes tight, hoping their deaths would be quick and painless...

"Hey! Stop terrorizing those two!" Cried a voice. A voice not distorted or wrong at all.

The red abomination chuckled softly. "Why? They both deserve the fate set out for them." It purred. It sounded farther than before. "Besides... I like seeing these lil' guys cower."

"But one of them is our friend..."

"He doesn't remember."

"You know what I meant!"

"Yeah ok."

What the sweet and sour pork is going on? Dave thought. His body was shaking like a leaf in a windstorm, but was also completely limp and relaxed. He was prepared for sudden death. Yet it never came. It was here he noticed how wet his face was, how he tasted salt in his mouth. How warm he felt from all the shivering. How Bambi was more or less exactly the same.

"You two can open your eyes." The being said. "I won't eat you."

Almost immediately, Dave complied. His eyes opened to the dimension around him no longer a void of darkness. The background was black, but shapes resembling green cubes and cellphones littered the psychedelic abyss. Instead of a gigantic red being towering above him, a much smaller, more-human sized creature floated in front. Its hat was green, its body was red, and its legs were blue. Beside it was a much jollier creature, who was more or less the same, except with a green body and a friendlier smile. It also had ginger hair. Bambi shifted to turn around, and he gasped.

"You look like me... who are you?" Bambi whispered.

The green creature kicked its legs and chortled. "I'm Bandu!" He chimed. "This is my sibling Expunged!"

They have names, Dave thought. "Then what was that red thing?" He asked.

"Also Expunged." Bandu answered, his smile fading into a frown. "One of you did something really bad..."

"Indeed, indeed." Expunged agreed, nodding. "Normally I'd enact a severe punishment, but I'll let it slide for now. Today's a beautiful day. What's a few card rearrangements short of a death with your souls in my throat?"

Dave blinked. "Card rearrangements...?" He looked down at the farmer in his lap. "Bambi, did you swap the Uno cards so I could win?"

Bambi shook his head. "Nope. Not at all. Nuh-uh. No-siree."

"Liar." Dave, Bandu, and Expunged said at the exact same time. They exchanged glances.

Bambi groaned. "Fine, fine! I changed some cards... what more you want from me you weirdos?!"

Instead of appearing furious, Expunged grinned smugly. "Didn't think you'd come clean." It mused. "I don't like cheaters. I really don't. However, you're one of the few that I can let go..." it showed off its sharp teeth. "That doesn't mean you're safe, my little friend~"

Dave didn't doubt it for a moment. He held Bambi close, and stared at the strange beings as the abyss around them shifted from black with green cubes, to a more cheery green. The phone-shaped objects littered the sky. Bandu casually hovered and bounced in place, kicking his legs. Expunged bopped its head to an unknown rhythm. Despite one of them almost eating him, Dave was oddly fascinated. They were unlike anything he had ever seen before in his life. And to think they live in this dimension he teleported into twice...

"Do you two wanna go home?" Bandu asked.

Bambi immediately spoke up. "Yes! Yes please!"

Their eyes trailed to Dave. He exhaled. "Yeah, I'd love to go home. You can really do that?" 

Bandu giggled. "Of course we can!" He turned to his sibling. "Expunged, if you will?"

"Alright."

Before Dave could form the words to say thank you, everything around him suddenly faded from view. The green colors warped into those of the blue sky. The cornstalks. The farm and the house. He suddenly felt the tug of gravity, and the shapes making up his body morphed back into identifiable features. He was back on Earth, and Bambi was with him. Relief filled him.

Dave had so many wonders. So many questions. He wanted to know more about the dimension, now that he knew things lived in it. Were there more creatures like Bandu? Or was he and his sibling the only inhabitants? Why did they resemble Bambi? Why did they consider Bambi their friend? How could the fluctuating abyss change color on a whim? Dave sighed and wiped his tears on his sleeve, feeling unsatisfied.

"Hey..." Bambi murmured. "Your phone."

Huh? Dave looked down to see the farmer holding his phone. It had a text message on it from an unknown number. A text saying it was from Bandu, who was willing to have the two come over to hang out.

Dave relaxed. Maybe I will get these questions answered after all... as along as Expunged doesn't try anything. It may be interesting, but by golly is it all terrifying.

Dave had no idea how much his life would change from this point onward.

Dave had no idea how trashed his home became when Tristan was left alone unattended.

Chapter Text

HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU GOT PRANKED LMAO HAPPY APRIL FOOLS GOTCHA GOOD DIDN’T WE???

THERE’S NO LORE IN THIS ONE!!!!

Or is there?

Who are we? Who cares! 

You’re around, why don’t you stay? 

Throw some questions or whatever our way! 

We would love to get to know the prying eyes of the universe, we got nothing better to do!

Just make sure you keep everything in ORDER.

Chapter Text

The night was dark and cold.

The corn plants rustled in the quiet breeze.

Lying on the ground was a wheelchair, toppled over onto its side. Spots of blood decorated its backrest, glistening in the light of the full moon.

Near this ownerless wheelchair was a house painted in blue. The lights were off. The door was locked.

Nobody was home.

Chapter Text

A hallway spanned out before him. A hallway with a red carpet, and walls with shifting crimson and black patterns. There were many doors, all wooden, either having numbers or eyes drawn on them. The air was warm, but not comfortable. There was a sense of solitude, and yet...

A green and blue creature walked out from one of the doors. It was beautiful and elegant. It had a long neck ending in a beak, with a tuft of detail on its head. It had wings folded tightly to its meaty body. It had legs ending in sharp claws. It had a long tail full of feathers, most of which had eyes within them, and yet the creature's real eyes were absent. In their place were pools of ruby red blood.

The creature approached him. He didn't dare back away.

It extended its neck to his ears.

It whispered to him...

David's eyes snapped open, and he shot up, clutching his head with a scream that could shatter cartoon glass. The shapes that made up his body were shaking, trembling. He couldn't control it. His hands were clammy and his skin crawled with an old, almost ancient evil he couldn't shake off. He screamed again, this time longer.

He reached am arm over to the nightstand, and grabbed the glass of water sitting on it. He brought it to himself. He took a few sips from it, cold water briefly bringing him a sense of serenity. The ice in it had melted. The glass shook with him. Such instability would bring attention from all forms of life.

The walls of his home were the color of denim jeans, and they had a floral pattern across them. He had incorporated this pattern from years of living on Earth. To the 3D Realm, this was both a posh and punk move. His fluffy-white bed was too big for him, and a pain to tidy up, but it was as comfy as sleeping on a cloud. There were two lights: one above, and one below.

David emerged from his covers, and stretched out his arms. The bronze shells on his back unfolded, and beautiful, glistening, insectile wings spread out. They shifted from orange, to red, to purple. The left one had been torn in half, so he couldn't use them to fly. In the 3D Realm, however, wings weren't needed to soar through the sky.

Standing on the tips of his prosthetics, he floated up, and flipped himself around. The floor plans of 3D buildings often followed randomized, personalized patterns. David's bed was technically on the ceiling, or as it was called here, on the realmside. The floor was called the baseside, and the sides were all the same. Homes that simply floated in the middle of the sky were categorized by the way furniture was placed.

David passed through the doorway and entered a short hallway. Decorating it were pictures of him and his family. The Susi-Bakkas were rich, but only thanks to their history of inventions. It was more of a company than anything, and David, unfortunately, would inherit it all one day. He didn't plan on having any kids. If no one else was chosen, then it would all die with him.

He entered the kitchen, and flicked on a switch attached to a box. He opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of chocolate milk. He opened a cabinet and grabbed a box of cereal, then a bowl and a spoon. He set them all on the marble counter.

"This just in: someone you don't care to know about was found dead this morning in the cozy location of the Board Game Isles." Announced a voice from the radio. "Officials report that the victim is the young and handsome Ferula Viceson, who died from a-"

David turned off the radio with a flick from his tail. He didn't need to hear about this right now. He poured in the milk first, then the cereal. This particular brand tasted best while floating, as opposed to being submerged. This oddity in itself made many question the morality behind those who loved it.

Nonetheless, dubious or not, it was all the same in the end. It wasn't particularly filling, but it would help David get a jumpstart to his day today. The dream was still fresh in his mind. So fresh, like an open wound from a severe burn. He wiped a tear off his cheek, and promptly put the empty bowl in the sink. He'd clean it another time... not now.

He chose to wear a teal suit and tie. His pants had been cut short so they didn't catch on his prosthetics, which he had spray-painted bronze due to convenience. Real bronze got all weird, and it was heavy. Now, David did lose his legs, but he wasn't totally helpless. He could still move them and walk and float around in the 3D Realm... it was Earth that was the issue. The gravity there forced him to use a wheelchair. It was annoying at first, but he's been doing this since elementary, when he first lost his legs...

Then he heard a knock. He migrated to the door, and opened it to see a teenager, probably no older than 15. They had fluffy black hair and dark skin, with little horns and beady eyes. An animal-like-maiman wearing the uniform of a postman.

"Good morning, Betty." David greeted. "Do you have something to share with me?"

They saluted him. "Yes, sir! I sure do, and it's damn interesting too!"

They handed him a long, thin, white cylinder, and David gave them a few coins. Soon enough, they waved goodbye, and rode away on their bike. David's house was located in the neighborhood of Pearl Town. In fact, his house was at the very edge of Pearl Town, making him the last to get mail. He could see the realm shifting in its entirety from here... turquoise, with black squiggles and paisley patterns.

He returned inside, and shook the cylinder, watching it rapidly flatten and change shape. It now had letters and numbers, and symbols native to the 3D Realm. The death from the radio was mentioned again, but there were more interesting things to look at, of course. The comics today featured a cat and a set of drapes that would be destroyed in two panels. There were coupons, which he cut out with pleasure and hid in his coupon drawer. There were advertisements for a product from a rival company. None of it would be important today.

A few minutes later, he had moved to a room full of buttons and screens. It was littered with technology the universe had never seen. He knew exactly what to do. He got in his wheelchair. He pressed a few buttons, then input a code and flipped a switch. The procedure was second nature to him, and before he knew it, a portal had opened. Taking a miniature portal-making device, he passed through, and witnessed as he entered another dimension.

His eyes suddenly became assaulted by violent, visceral detail that always took him back no matter how many times he visited this dimension. His body was not made to handle the gravity of the world, or at least, not in a 3D state. His family had a secret trick to not only blend in with the 2D World, but better comprehend it as well. It took a lot of training and mastering with minor shapeshifting, but David managed to turn 2D without shrinking into a fifth of his original size. He also hid his tail and wings. Humans don't have those, and right now, he was pretending to be human.

He appeared in an alleyway, where no one could have seen him enter this world... except for the homeless guy hiding behind the dumpster. David pressed a button, and the portal closed. He took in a deep breath, and emerged onto the sidewalk. Everything was so much stronger in the 2D World, like it was screaming in his face literally all of the time. He had no idea how Bambi did it.

But David wasn't here for Bambi, despite being in the city where Bambi lived near. David was on a mission, and he absolutely did not need to have any interruptions. Not now, hopefully not ever. What he had to do today was too important for someone to jump out at him and...

Oh for fucks sake, not this again, David thought grumpily.

Because he was a popular figure in the 3D Realm, he should've been obscure on Earth, right? No! He was famous for two different reasons, and he couldn't catch a break! The exact moment he entered a public space, there were people there to talk to him and fawn over him like a damn celebrity! It was embarrassing, to say the least, but he grinned through it like he always did.

"Hello, everyone~" he said in a sing-song voice. "How are you guys?"

The people surrounding him had cameras, which was not cool, but he didn't say anything. A few tried to take a selfie with him, but he gently and politely pushed them out of his face. When they had to go across the street, his fans had practically lined the entire crosswalk so he could get to the other side without issue. It was one of the better reasons to keep his image up around here.

Where was David going? A school, and not because he had a kid or anything to take care of. No, no... one of the people he knew, Green Alien Monitor, worked here as a principal. They had transferred from the Middle of Nowhere to Brazil for an unknown reason, but since Dave was here too, it made some sense. David was here to see Green Alien Monitor. He needed someone to talk to, and they were the only being in the universe that he could trust to tell.

Speak of the Devil, thought David as he heard Tristan's voice. I caught you just in time... but I don't want to talk to you. Not today, at least...

Dave was in the drop-off zone of the school, but instead of taking off, he looked... distracted. It confused David, it made him question his former friend's behavior. He didn't make this known to his fans, however, and kept it inside of himself as he slowly rolled into Dave's vision.

You're going to start so much shit the second you see me, thought David. And as much as I still care about you, don't ask, you absolutely do not need to know what I am doing here.

...

Clearly, there was no other option, except to be as loud and obnoxious as possible. Dave hated that part about David. It was one of the driving points that severed their friendship. Hopefully it would get Dave to fuck off.

David faked a gasp, and pointed at Dave's automobile. "Look everyone! It's my old pal. Should we say hello?" He asked.

Dave instantly shot him a glare, and then he flinched, his expression becoming a mix of surprise and terror. Either way, that one comment wasn't enough. David approached Dave's car, slowly but surely, noting how the fans chittered and laughed along with David no matter what he did. It was sickening, but David didn't let this show.

He rested an arm on the car door and tapped the window, giving Dave the smuggest smirk he could pull off. "Heeeey buddy." He said. "Whatcha doin' here?"

This time, Dave responded. "I could ask you the same thing..." his murmurs were barely able to he heard through the car, but since David was being overstimulated, he could hear everything.

David examined Dave. He was wearing a simple blue, his favorite color. He looked tired, like something was bothering or itching at him. He looked anxious to leave, so then why was he continuing to allow David to bug him? It was one of the many mysteries of life...

"Aren'tcha gonna open the window?" David asked sweetly, trying to mimic the annoying vocal patterns of Bandu. "People would love to see your face, or are you just as pathetic as usual?" You're wanted! If anything, you should be smart enough to get out right now! What the fuck are you still doing here? You hate me, or do you even remember that?

Dave shot him another glare. "Wouldn't you like that, discount me. It's a no."

That's more like it. David laughed and glanced back at his fans, who were excited to see him bully someone else. "Me? Discount of you? You're mistaken. You're not even half of my prince."

The fans laughed, as they always did. They were stupid enough to not catch that David didn't use price, but prince. It was a 3D phrase, and while it meant virtually the same thing as its 2D counterpart, David felt the subconscious need to flex on Dave. After all, David's family tree once had royalty in it, but that was a long, long time ago...

And then Dave screamed. And then Dave's car sped off, leaving a cloud of dust behind. Finally. David took the opportunity to leave the eyesight of his fans, and sneak into the school with the other children arriving. Somehow, it worked, and he didn't look suspicious at all.

There were pretty candy-like patterns on the walls, but they weren't of any interest to him. He approached the door to the principal's office, and knocked. Nobody else working here questioned him, because he sometimes appeared here to do this exact thing. He thought he spotted Tristan watching, but it was likely his mind playing tricks on him. The 2D World was a very strange place, and it made David's brain turn to mush with every second he stayed.

The door opened to a humanoid figure with green skin and deep black eyes. They motioned with a hand, and David wheeled right on in. The door shut, he watched the figure shut off the blinds, so nobody could see them. The only light source was from the bulb above. The figure took their spot in their chair, and David sat in front of them.

"David." Green Alien Monitor deadpanned. "What brings you here this early? Music Man hasn't even tried offering me caffeine yet..."

"I..." David swallowed. He didn't realize he had been this nervous until now. "The bird dreams. I had one last night. It's really bad this time."

Green Alien Monitor nodded. "I understand, David."

David's body was trembling. "I was in this... strange hallway. The one from the movie about the god from home." He took in a sharp breath. He tried so desperately to ignore the dread seeping into his wireframe. "The peacock... the one without any eyes, the one that cries blood. It said..."

Green Alien Monitor stayed in the exact same position. They looked so calm, but their anticipation was an aura, and their fear leaked from pores in their skin.

David's eyes met hers. "It said..." he whispered. "It said that Dave was manufactured. Something, or someone, created him. The one I know... both of us know, isn't here."

They didn't show shock or concern, but it could be felt. "How can this be?" They asked. "Is Dave dead? Replaced?"

"I don't know... but that is an excellent theory." He said. "I don't want to believe it, but..."

"The bird dreams come true. All of them." Green Alien Monitor replied. "Dave's friend Muko passed away, then he is wanted for endangering the planet Earth."

"And then I find him here in Brazil." David finished. "I saw him today. He looked scared, and he screamed before driving away. If Dave further behaves strangely, then this is why. He is not who he is."

"Do you think it is the work of your god?" They inquired. "The one I cannot speak the name of?"

A chill went across David's spine. "You think she replaced him?" He put a hand to his chin. "This would make sense in theory, but I don't believe she has it in her heart to pose as him. Everything I've seen and observed of her-"

"Which is little." Green Alien Monitor pointed out.

"Little, yes, I know little about her, but I do know that she has a great hatred for him." He continued. "Unless this is out of spite, I don't believe that the Red Chaos is pretending to be my cousin."

Their eyes narrowed slightly. "Cousin?"

"Yes, Dave is my cousin." David confirmed.

"But I thought he was your friend. Is this a twist of the word's meaning, or is this new information?"

"Oh." David exhaled. "I didn't tell you about that... ok. Hold on..."

He adjusted his sitting position. Normally, this would be really easy, as only individual shapes felt pain and moving them around was a breeze. In the 2D World however, with a 2D form, David had to play a guessing game. The Human body was a very strange work of art. If one part felt pain, then so did the rest.

"My aunt, who is pretty much a grandma at this point, left my family to go on her own path." David began. "Of course, my mom is very nosey. The next time mom found my aunt, she had kids with a Forsaken named Bobby."

"And one of these kids is Dave?" They assumed.

He chuckled. "You'd think that, but no! In fact, one of their kids is Dave's dad. His dad married a human, and that's why there's this guy who can open portals." His smile receded. "It's very complicated."

"I am aware, now." Green Alien Monitor's face did something mysterious and unexplainable. "I'm confused."

"Don't worry, I am too."

"That doesn't help."

There was silence again... and then, Green Alien Monitor let out a very tiny laugh. A genuine laugh. Much like David, they did a lot of masking to fit in with the world, which included faking laughs and smiles when they were required to. It was sad, really. It said a lot about the society of Earth... but the 3D Realm wasn't much different.

"Well... what do you think happened to Dave, to warrant a replica of him?" Green Alien Monitor asked, continuing the conversation.

David let out a tired sigh. "I don't know. I don't think it's the doing of that damn chaos god. She'd rather obliterate him than either pretend to be or create another of him." He brushed his hair back with a hand. "And Bandu, her brother... he's weak. But he's not innocent either. I've never seen him shapeshift out of his own form. Besides, Bandu's got better things to do than be Dave."

Green Alien Monitor was quiet for three seconds. "What do you think happened to Dave?" They repeated. "This is not a logic-based question. This is a question based on mutual relationships and memory."

And that's a hell of a way to put it. David allowed himself to slump. "I told you... I don't know. But Dave has the power to open rifts so unstable that it could collide two dimensions... there's no way he also has the power to create duplicates of himself... there's no way..."

"Is this your answer?" They inquired.

"I suppose it is. The only remarkable things I can do are remain decently stable on this world, hide the parts of myself that aren't of Human origin, and control water and fire." He said. "But Dave's family consists of Bobby... Bobby's a Forsaken, who refuse to cooperate with us, Coalescapiens, on Realm-wide endeavors. They can live in the deepest, darkest, harshest reaches of the 3D Realm without any issue. I'm certain Bobby is where he got that portal-opening gift from... but I don't know what else he could have gotten. He could also have biological armor that can be summoned... an immunity to harsh conditions... dominion over fire and ice far greater and more dangerous than neither you and I could ever dream of. I don't know. Genetics tend to do strange things in the 3D Realm, whether you were originally created by a god or not."

"I wouldn't know what to think either. I never knew Dave as well as you did." Green Alien Monitor deadpanned, pulling out a file of paper. "What are you going to do, David? I have work to get to, and there is no more time for us to dilly-dally."

David didn't know... but he had to do something. He had to. As much as his friendship with Dave had been severed, he still cared about Dave. David pulled out the device that had brought him here. He backed away from the desk, and turned to the wall away from the windows. He could feel his heart beating with anticipation.

"I'm going to keep my eye on him and his little family." David said. "And if you notice anything off, too, then let me know, please."

Green Alien Monitor nodded. "I will do what I can." Their eyelids fluttered in his direction. "Good luck, David."

David smiled back at them. "Thank you, friend."

He pressed a button, and a portal opened... but not to the 3D Realm.

Chapter Text

Screams of rage and fear echoed through the halls of the school. Everyone that heard them knew to be passive. Do not react in any way. Don't move. Don't yell. Don't look no matter how much you want to. It was only when the screams were silenced, that everyone sighed in relief and resumed their duties.

The door slammed behind Diamond Man. He quickly turned around and jiggled the handle, but it was locked. He screamed and kicked and punched the door in an attempt to break it down, but there was absolutely no effect. It was suddenly impervious to his crystalline body. In fact, he was the one being broken. His limbs ached, and his stump hands were slightly cracked.

"God fucking damn it LET ME OUT!" Diamond Man screeched. "YOU ARE INSANE! YOU CAN'T LOCK A CHILD ALONE IN A ROOM!!!"

"T̵h̸a̵t̴'̴s̸ ̷t̸h̴e̸ ̸t̷h̴i̸n̸g̵.̵.̸.̸" Said an unfamiliar, glitchy voice. Like someone talking in a voice chat with a bad mic. "Y̶o̷u̵'̶r̶e̵ ̶n̵o̴t̸ ̵a̶l̵o̵n̷e̶.̶"

Diamond Man whipped to the source of the voice. In the front of the room, sitting behind the teacher's desk, was a completely black stickman. Their eyes and mouth were pure red, and their body seemed to distort like a broken computer program. Nothing about them looked real. In front of them was a laptop, and their face was buried in it. They didn't visually acknowledge Diamond Man's presence in any way. No glancing up to look at him. Good on them.

Diamond Man peered at the stickman. "Who are you?" He demanded.

The stickman managed a shrug. "S̸o̴m̶e̸ ̷c̷a̶l̴l̴ ̵m̴e̸ ̴M̴o̸l̴d̸y̶.̶ ̶S̶o̸m̷e̷ ̷c̷a̴l̴l̶ ̸m̵e̷ E̴͎͉͉̾͑̒̅̒̈́̕R̴͖͎̳̈́̄̅́̌͗̕ͅR̵̻͔̤̤̬͓̖͗̏̈ͅO̷̢̮͚̲͙̒ͅR̵̢̨͚͉̺͂͐͝.̶ ̷I̵ ̷d̷o̸n̶'̵t̵ ̴m̶i̴n̴d̵ ̵e̷i̴t̴h̴e̶r̷." They deadpanned. "Y̴o̴u̸'̶r̸e̵ ̸p̵r̸o̵b̶a̶b̷l̴y̵ ̴w̷o̶n̷d̵e̸r̸i̸n̶g̸ ̸w̶h̶e̴r̶e̸ ̶y̴o̷u̸ ̸a̸r̵e̴ ̶r̴i̸g̵h̴t̴ ̷n̵o̷w̶,̵ ̶h̸u̵h̷?̸"

Diamond Man looked around at his environment. The walls had that same gum-ball texture, except it seemed diluted and computerized compared to everywhere else in the school. There were no chairs, except for one in front of the desk. ERROR was situated in a stool and played on their laptop. There was also a warped corpse in the middle made of incomprehensible shapes, stretching beyond reality. No matter which angle he looked at it in, it stayed the same. Like the trees in Super Mario 64. No place in the school was this fucked up.

"U̶h̴.̷.̵.̵ ̵w̶e̷l̵l̷...̸ ̶y̵o̸u̴'̴r̵e̶ ̷i̸n̷ ̶D̵a̵v̵e̴'̶s̸ ̷o̶f̴f̴i̷c̶e̴." ERROR answered. "Y̴o̸u̸'̵r̸e̶ ̶i̶n̷ ̶D̴a̸v̴e̴'̶s̶ ̸o̴f̶f̵i̵c̷e̶ ̸b̷e̷c̸a̸u̸s̶e̶ ̸y̴o̸u̴ ̴h̸u̶r̷t̷ ̷h̷i̸m̴ ̷a̸n̸d̶ ̴h̴i̵s̵ ̶s̴o̴n̶.̵ ̷O̸r̷ ̵m̷a̷y̴b̶e̷ ̸i̵t̵'̴s̷ ̸b̴e̶c̷a̷u̸s̴e̵ ̴o̷f̷ ̵y̷o̴u̴r̸ ̴g̵r̶a̴d̴e̷s̸.̷ ̶I̸ ̴s̶a̶w̴ ̸h̵o̸w̶ ̸b̶a̴d̷ ̷y̷o̸u̴ ̶d̶i̴d̴ ̵o̷n̴ ̶t̵h̵o̵s̸e̴ ̶t̸e̴s̸t̵s̴.̶.̵.̷ ̷y̸e̴t̵ ̸f̶o̸r̴ ̷o̴n̶e̵ ̷r̸e̴a̷s̵o̸n̷ ̴o̴r̷ ̷a̵n̷o̴t̵h̵e̷r̶,̸ ̵y̶o̷u̶ ̶m̸a̷n̴a̴g̷e̵d̴ ̷t̵o̶ ̸c̵o̶m̴e̴ ̶h̶e̶r̸e̵ ̵a̵n̷d̶ ̴f̷i̷n̷d̷ ̴m̵e̴."

"I didn't find you, I was dragged here against my will." Diamond Man growled. He was vibrating in place. "Speaking of which, can you let me out of this creepy room?!"

ERROR sighed. "N̵o̴.̴ ̴T̵h̴i̴s̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̸y̶o̸u̴r̵ ̸p̶u̴n̷i̵s̷h̶m̵e̸n̸t̶,̸ ̸y̵a̵ ̸d̵i̸n̷g̸ ̵d̴o̶n̷g̷."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL-"

"D̴i̴a̸m̵o̴n̶d̶ ̵M̷a̶n̷,̷ ̶s̷i̵t̸ ̶d̴o̵w̵n̶."

Suddenly, an invisible force picked up Diamond Man. To him, it felt like he was randomly in low gravity. He was gently thrown into the only chair in the classroom. Diamond Man screeched and immediately tried to get up, but he was frozen in place. No matter how much he struggled, his body refused to move. The only parts of himself he could move were his head, eyes and mouth. It scared him. At least ERROR didn't raise their head to look at him.

He screamed. "LET ME GO!"

ERROR shook their head. "N̶o̶t̵ ̶u̵n̸t̷i̴l̶ ̶y̵o̷u̶ ̸c̶a̶l̷m̸ ̵d̴o̵w̴n̸.̵ ̵O̸n̸c̵e̶ ̴y̶o̴u̴ ̴a̴r̷e̶ ̷c̵a̴l̸m̵,̶ ̴I̷ ̸w̶i̶l̶l̴ ̷l̵e̷t̴ ̷y̵o̶u̶ ̷g̶o̷." They explained.

Diamond Man grumbled. He forced himself to relax, but if he were honest, everything about his current situation was making him want to bounce off the walls. Normally whenever he was rowdy he'd get sent to detention. NORMAL detention. Not weird-impervious-glitchy detention outside of everything he understood. How'd he get here again? Oh, right. Tristan.

Thinking of the kid made Diamond Man vibrate with fury once again. Tristan had no sense of privacy OR respect when it came to other people. Which is stupid because he's nine years old. Nine-year-olds have at least the concept of respect in their heads, but apparently this kid didn't get the memo. Diamond Man absolutely hated Tristan for this exact reason. Tristan would grab his stuff and play with it with no regards to the owner. Tristan would also LOOK HIM IN THE EYES. Diamond Man hated direct eye contact. Everyone in the school knew this fact, and the only ones who did it were adults or close friends. Like Garret. Considering Diamond Man and Tristan's relationship, a shove was the least amount of damage that could be fallen upon this dumb fucking child.

"U̵h̶...̴ ̵i̶f̵ ̴y̷o̵u̶'̵r̶e̶ ̶w̷o̴n̷d̶e̷r̸i̴n̴g̴ ̷w̷h̸a̸t̵'̴s̷ ̷u̸p̶ ̴w̸i̷t̴h̸ ̷t̶h̴e̴ ̴g̷u̶y̸ ̸i̷n̸ ̷t̷h̸e̴ ̸w̸h̵e̶e̵l̶c̴h̴a̸i̶r̶,̵ ̷I̵ ̶d̴o̷n̶'̷t̴ ̸k̶n̴o̷w̷ ̴e̴i̴t̸h̴e̶r̸." ERROR said out of nowhere. It cut off Diamond Man's inner tirade. "D̶a̷v̴e̵ ̴g̶e̷t̶s̶ ̶a̶r̸o̵u̵n̴d̸ ̵p̴r̵e̸t̵t̷y̴ ̴f̶a̵s̸t̴ ̴i̶n̶ ̴t̶h̶a̵t̸ ̷w̶h̴e̸e̴l̵c̵h̷a̸i̸r̵ ̴o̷f̸ ̸h̷i̷s̶.̷ ̸B̷u̷t̶ ̵h̷e̸ ̷c̶a̷n̶ ̷u̵h̵...̵ ̵g̷o̵ ̴a̶ ̷l̸o̸t̷ ̶f̸a̶s̷t̵e̵r̵.̵ ̶P̸r̵o̷b̵a̷b̴l̵y̵ ̶f̶a̷s̷t̷ ̶e̵n̴o̷u̷g̷h̵ ̸t̶o̵ ̶o̸u̴t̸r̵u̴n̸ ̷a̸ ̸c̶h̴e̶e̵t̵a̷h̴.̸ ̶O̷r̶...̶ ̶u̴m̴...̵ ̶s̷o̸m̵e̶t̵h̵i̴n̶g̶ ̸t̶r̴u̶l̸y̶ ̴m̷o̵n̵s̴t̵r̵o̵u̴s̶.̷ ̷L̸i̸k̷e̸ ̷m̵y̶ ̴g̶o̵o̷d̷ ̷f̶r̴i̵e̶n̵d̶ ̸T̸h̸e̴ ̸V̵o̴i̴d̶."

"What?" Diamond Man inquired, suddenly curious. "How do you know Dave? I've never seen you around before in my life."

ERROR shrugged. "M̸y̶ ̶e̵x̵i̵s̷t̷e̴n̷c̵e̶ ̵o̶u̵t̷s̶i̶d̴e̵ ̷t̶h̷i̸s̶ ̸c̶e̷l̷l̶ ̶c̷o̸r̶r̸u̶p̴t̷s̸ ̴r̸e̷a̷l̴i̸t̴y̸.̵ ̴N̸o̶t̷ ̷t̶o̷o̸ ̸l̴o̵n̶g̵ ̷a̸g̵o̵ ̶I̷ ̴v̸i̵s̵i̸t̴e̶d̷ ̵a̵n̴o̴t̵h̶e̶r̷ ̶d̵i̶m̵e̴n̶s̴i̸o̷n̷.̶.̶.̶ ̷j̶u̴s̵t̵ ̴b̵e̴c̶a̸u̵s̸e̶ ̸I̴ ̶w̴a̴n̴t̵e̵d̵ ̷t̴o̵.̷ ̸F̷e̶w̸ ̵m̷i̸n̷u̸t̷e̷s̸ ̸p̵a̸s̶s̴e̶d̵ ̵a̵n̵d̴ ̴e̷v̷e̶r̶y̴t̶h̸i̵n̷g̵ ̷w̷e̴n̶t̶ ̸g̵r̶a̴y̴.̴ ̶I̷ ̶h̵e̷a̴r̶d̷ ̸s̷c̷r̴e̸a̶m̶i̷n̵g̴.̴ ̴H̸o̶r̴r̸i̶b̶l̶e̵,̵ ̶d̶y̶i̴n̷g̷,̴ ̶b̴r̴o̴k̴e̵n̷ ̷s̸c̸r̶e̴a̴m̵i̴n̴g̵.̷ ̵D̶a̴v̵e̷'̷s̶ ̷s̴c̸r̶e̶a̷m̷s." They whispered. "I̸'̷m̶ ̵u̸h̷.̵ ̵I̴'̵m̷ ̷n̷o̶t̷ ̷s̵t̶a̸y̷i̶n̴g̷ ̸t̴h̵a̸t̷ ̸l̸o̴n̴g̸ ̶a̵g̵a̷i̵n̷.̵ ̴T̸h̶e̵ ̸p̵e̴o̵p̷l̷e̷ ̶t̵h̶e̷r̸e̴ ̶d̷o̴n̶'̷t̶ ̸e̷v̶e̶n̷ ̵l̶i̴k̸e̸ ̸m̶e̴.̶ ̶D̶a̷v̵e̷'̶s̶ ̴f̷i̶n̶e̴ ̵b̸y̵ ̸t̵h̴e̶ ̸w̷a̷y̴,̴ ̴b̸u̸t̵ ̷s̶o̸m̸e̷t̶h̵i̶n̷g̶ ̵a̶b̶o̸u̴t̷ ̷h̵i̶m̶ ̷d̵o̸e̸s̵n̷'̵t̷ ̸s̵e̴e̵m̸ ̵r̸i̴g̷h̸t̵.̸.̶."

"He screamed when I pummeled his ribcage if that's what you mean." Diamond Man mumbled. He could still hear the glitchy cries of agony from his former algebra teacher. "I didn't mean to hurt him, I swear! A lot was happening and I was very angry. Especially at his dumb kid. I swear, Dya and that kid have a strong resemblance in behavior and appearance..."

"T̵h̵a̸t̷'̶s̴ ̴b̵e̶c̸a̵u̵s̶e̷ ̸D̴y̷a̵ ̸i̵s̷ ̸T̸r̷i̷s̷t̷a̴n̶'̶s̸ ̶r̷e̷a̴l̶ ̵d̶a̴d̷." ERROR said. "D̴y̵a̴ ̸i̸s̵ ̷g̵o̴o̸d̷ ̵a̵t̷ ̷w̴o̵r̷k̸i̸n̴g̷ ̸w̷i̸t̶h̸ ̶k̸i̸d̷s̴.̵ ̷N̴o̵t̶ ̴s̷o̷ ̸g̶o̵o̵d̴ ̵a̵t̵ ̴b̵e̴i̷n̸g̷ ̸a̸ ̸p̸a̸r̸e̴n̸t̸.̸ ̵O̸r̴ ̶u̴h̷.̵.̸.̶ ̵h̴i̴d̶i̶n̷g̴ ̴t̵h̶e̶ ̴d̵r̶u̶g̵s̵."

Wait what-

"A̷n̷y̴w̸a̶y̶s̴,̸ ̷b̴a̵c̷k̷ ̵t̵o̶ ̸t̶h̵a̶t̸ ̴f̴i̶r̴s̵t̴ ̶q̶u̵e̶s̵t̷i̸o̸n̷.̴.̸.̶ ̶m̴e̶ ̶a̵n̵d̵ ̶D̴a̵v̷e̸ ̵g̶o̶ ̵b̸a̸c̵k̴.̶ ̶W̷a̵y̶ ̸b̵a̶c̵k̸." ERROR continued. "B̸a̶c̴k̶e̵r̴ ̸t̸h̷a̶n̵ ̸b̴a̸c̸k̸.̴ ̷H̴e̶'̶s̷ ̴t̵h̸e̴ ̸o̴n̴l̷y̵ ̶o̴n̵e̷ ̵t̸h̴a̷t̷ ̴r̴e̵g̵u̴l̵a̵r̵l̵y̴ ̴v̵i̴s̸i̶t̴s̶ ̵m̷e̷ ̴o̴n̶ ̶m̴y̸ ̸t̴r̶u̵s̴t̸y̴ ̸c̴o̵m̴p̵u̷t̸e̵r̵.̴ ̵A̷n̶d̶ ̸a̸s̶ ̵m̸u̶c̶h̶ ̶a̸s̶ ̶I̶ ̸w̵a̷n̴n̸a̶ ̸s̶e̷e̸ ̶h̷i̷m̵ ̷i̵n̷ ̷p̵e̷r̴s̵o̵n̸,̵ ̷I̸ ̶c̷a̴n̸'̴t̸,̴ ̶f̵o̴r̸ ̸I̷ ̷f̸e̸a̵r̶ ̸I̶'̵d̷ ̶c̴o̵r̴r̸u̶p̷t̵ ̷h̷i̴m̷ ̶i̴n̴ ̶s̶o̴m̶e̸ ̵w̷a̶y̴...̶" suddenly, an expression of fear crossed their face. They gripped their head with clawed hands. "O̷h̴ ̶n̵o̸... ǹ̶͉̙o̵͔̓n̵͔̄ỏ̴̧͙̆n̷̘̬̂͌o̶̡͖͐̿n̶̖̐ō̷͚͈ ̶̭͑͒ͅt̵͚͂̄ḫ̷̮̀͘a̸̩̓t̵̞͘'̷̰̼̑̀s̴͎̾͗ ̶͕͛̄e̷͔̾x̵̝͔̾a̴̯̘̒c̴̯̎t̷͖̀̓ļ̵̬̓̽y̶̜̙̎ ̶͔̤͌̂w̵̬̮̔̚h̷̠̺̊à̸̦̰t̴͚̥͋̑ ̴̦̟̏̔I̴̧̲͌ ̸̳͐ḍ̸̞̉͂ĭ̵̧̳̕ḑ̶͌̔ ̷̰̘̎̉ẇ̷̳͚͂ḩ̷̞̾̀e̶͖̤̔n̵͕͎̆͆ ̸̬̓̕Ĭ̴̤̗͗ ̵̗͓͑w̴̗͌̉ē̸̝͗n̷͉͋ẗ̶̮̺͐ ̷̗̓ṱ̵̨͘̚o̸̓͜ ̴͙́̌t̵͖́h̶̺̿͋e̶͚͑͛ ̵̡̳͑̑3̵͈̚D̴̛̙ ̷̢͊R̶̦͐̄ė̷̛̖ȧ̷͐͜l̶̬͂m̶̦̯̚ ̷̺̻̊w̴͖̾́ḧ̴͖y̶̱͂ ̴̨͚̂w̶̻̫̽́ȁ̵̡̱̾ṣ̴̪̊̚ ̴͎͚͗D̶͙͎͋́à̸̮̚v̸̺̏ē̸̕ͅ ̵̣͖̆ț̴̃h̶̢̪̊ë̷̢̢́̽r̷̮̞̎e̷̫̙͆ ̸͇͉͑h̷̞̱̿ö̴̦̤w̷̡̙̚ ̸̱̞͊͂c̷͇̼̍̅o̶̠̓ủ̷͔͠l̵̩͆͘d̸̲̳͂̇ ̶̝̈h̸̟̽̂e̴̠̟̅ ̴̟̬͋o̵̟̻͌̏f̸̦̈́̊ ̶̳̀ẗ̷̬͚́͑h̸̹̄͝è̵̤̭̏ ̶̗͂͑m̶͇̄̾í̸̛̻͜l̵̪̂ḻ̵̇i̷͍̰͋ǫ̴͂͒ň̷͈͙s̵̮̎̈́ ̴͖͚̈́͊o̵̰͗f̴̲̃̿ ̶̡̛͎͌r̸͔̃e̵̗͘s̴̋͜i̴̲͗d̶̲͙̈́ẹ̶͔͒n̵̨̕t̵̺͕̏̚s̷̢͖̈́ ̷̩͋g̷̛̭͝e̸͒ͅt̸̛͔̀ ̸̹̗͠c̵͖͊̍ọ̴͛r̸͉̎r̷̭̿ǘ̶̬̚p̴͉̤̕ţ̸̛̜͌e̷̬͛̓ḋ̵̹̹ ̶̦̕͘w̶̢̾͐h̵͕͒̈́à̴̧t̴̮̂ ̴͙̐̊h̷̦̃̕a̷̞̔̅p̴̱̰̉͋p̵̥͑ê̸̟̜n̷̢̈͝e̶͍̦̐̊d̵̤̃̏͜ ̶̹̞̓ṭ̶̞̄͂ô̶̧̠͠ ̵̞͝h̵͋̚ͅi̷̲͌̓m̴̛̙͉̊ ̷̪̦̈h̸̟͓̿̑o̸̜͛͌l̷̟̬͛̾y̶͙̿̐ ̷̠̰̇͠s̶̖͐h̵͖̘̀-"

ERROR's voice had grown more glitchy and harder to understand in their panic. It hurt to listen to. It felt like rocks were grinding his crystalline body. Diamond Man was so unnerved by this that he covered his ears and screamed. In his screaming, he noticed his voice starting to distort and become a little like ERROR's. He noticed his skin starting to resemble the gritty texture of the warped corpse. Hell, even the room was distorting. Red, green and blue pixels oozed out of the corners, and quickly spread across the walls, consuming everything, until Diamond Man and ERROR remained in the glitching classroom.

Just before the pixels reached them, ERROR looked up, staring right into Diamond Man's eyes. "I̸̻̙͈̥̭̾͘'̶̬͓̞̆͂̈m̸̤̭̻̳̰͚̟͒͊͠ ̴͎̓s̵̛͖̝͔̭͓͑̇͆͐̀̀o̶͉̙̙̦̓ ̸̧́̈̈̌͗̕s̶͇̮̝͑̈́̉̃ó̸̢̼͖̯̈́̚ȓ̷̮̗̖̈͝r̴͈̲̰̐̾̂͊͝y̴̲͋̃͠͝͝...̴̻̙̠͍͋̏͛̽͂"

Diamond Man woke up to the sound of a tire screeching. He sat up and blinked a few times. Rubbing his eyes. He was in a completely ordinary classroom. Even more, actual detention. Though GAM was strangely absent.

Was it a dream? He wondered. Or merely a hallucination?

Diamond Man's attention was torn away by a faint ticking sound. He glanced at the clock. Only an hour had passed since school started. He looked at the desk in front of him. There was a note saying his siblings were going to be here in ten minutes to pick him up.

"W̸o̴o̵h̸o̷o̶,̷ ̴h̶o̷m̸e̵." He sighed. I can't wait to sit around and be free from that stupid little kid. Hope his father is ok...

Chapter Text

(Note to self: USE A BETTER NAME THAN A LONG STRING OF NUMBERS!!!!)

I am writing this in the middle of the night. Many things are on my mind. RECOVERED_PROJECT is asleep next to me, or at least I think he is. It is hard to tell due to his lack of expression and body language.

The stars twinkling outside are only a recent addition to The Third Dimension. A being known as Bampal dotted the sleepy background of the Main Song District with beads of light and swathes of color. It made the darkness of night alluring. It caught wind to the other Districts, and eventually, the Lord decreed that all Districts have this pattern in the background when it was night. Once again, the Main Song District was doomed to be completely ordinary and not special in any way. Just how I like it. While the stars are pretty, I can't help but feel afraid when looking at them.

The appearance of the cosmos here is concerning. The Third Dimension has no supermassive, distant bodies of hydrogen and helium. This occurrence is exclusive to The Second Dimension, and is mostly seen on the surface of Earth. What concerns me the most is that a god replicating the cosmos once tried to devour our Third Dimension, just when we were still learning how to build and invent. It was only thanks to Bambi's help that the god was defeated and destroyed. Yet, the stars are here, after so long. Is this god back for revenge? I do not know, but I will continue to fear the stars.

Remembering the past has also brought a reminder to light. The people of The Third Dimension see me and my sibling as gods, but we are not thus. Me and Bandu have Bambi's eyes, sickness, and strange capabilities. We also have the shape and portal abilities of Pre Alpha, someone I once detested but grew to appreciate. If he lived longer, I'd likely see him as family, similar to Bambi. But alas, I can't have anything to call my own, can I?

I do not know how we got these features and instincts, but it points out a truth about me and Bandu. We were created from two different beings, and dust in The Third Dimension. In all sense, we are chimeras, but to the others we are chaos gods. At first the title of 'chaos god' confused me, but now it clicks together. Combining decay and dimensional traversal leads to chaos, and decimation, and death, evidently shown as the dust that helped me and Bandu be better suited to this realm. What puzzles me most is the dust. Such a concept rarely occurs in The Third Dimension, unless by an unseen glitch. Of course, our realm has many mysteries, and we are still learning. 

But enough dwelling on past echoes, there is something else I must address. The days that I have spent in this cycle of tiny moving parts has taught me a valuable lesson. Sometimes it's a good thing to do nothing. Sometimes it's wise to devise a plan. Other times, acting erratically and impulsively will work as well. I say this because I recently made a strange decision. I essentially kidnapped a child so he could spend a day or two at my house, and reconnect with someone he no longer recognizes.

This child is Tristan. A curious little thing oblivious to the dangers around him, but valiant when he needs to be. This obliviousness, while convenient, also makes him susceptible to blindly following what the adults tell him to do. It additionally makes him believe me and REC are Bambi and Dave. He isn't wrong about confusing REC for Dave, as REC is Dave. A puzzling circumstance indeed. It's a long story, and it's written in the previous entry because fuck you.

Despite being directly responsible for REC's demise, and initially having a hatred for this man, I have grown to feel guilty. Guilt is a funny emotion. It makes you question everything you've ever done, and whether it was worth doing. In the month that I've known him, REC has spent 90% of his time in his room, alone, staring into oblivion. He is losing himself, becoming a blank slate and forgetting crucial memories. While I did dislike him when he was still human, this... this is just sad. Even now, with him right beside me, it brings about a melancholy I've only felt for the closest of beings I've lost. Being trapped in an endless loop of life and death for millions of years can do that to you.

Today has been eventful. Tristan was pulled from his dimension to mine with no warning nor answer. He met me and REC, and mistook us as his parents. He got lost in the catacombs of my house, where he met Dale, and All That's Left. While he did this, Bendu decided to drop in unannounced. I would have killed him, but I didn't want to worry the child, so this lemon cat stayed to help with dinner (PS: learn to cook more shit).

Once dinner was made, everyone else went upstairs to eat. As for me and Bendu? We stayed behind in the kitchen. Free from the eyes of that child, I could assume my true self. We had a little conversation. Some light talking and checking up on one another. I could see clearly as pink gathered on his face, and hearts manifested around him. It confuses me so, why would anyone have a crush on me? Then again, Bendu is oblivious to my violent reputation. The fool tried to kiss me on the lips... what ended up happening was that he lost his head and died. He tastes like lemon sauce made with expensive conditioner. Whoops? Oh well, he'll just come back from the dead, like he always does. I wonder how many 'bonus lives' he has left...

Afterwards, everyone went to their own devices to relax. I stayed in the living room and turned on the television. Just some Seinfeld, and REC watched with me. Soon Tristan came out and asked me some questions, before I sent him off to bed. He's silly, but I can't tell him all of the truth. If he wishes to know more about me, and meddle in my affairs, I will gladly teach him all I know, but not because I am kind.

There is something unique about Tristan. So unique, that if I reveal it to another being, he will be in grave danger. Within his chest is a beating construct of aurum. His very presence pacifies those around him, even me. Bandu however is not affected by this. Ever since he fell to this weak state ten thousand years ago, he has been searching for this pure heart. He wants to regain what he has lost. Fortunately for him, the Heart of Gold is much closer than he realizes. Unfortunately, it will cost Tristan's life should Bandu selfishly attempt to retrieve this organ. Bandu may be weak, but he is capable of manipulating his way into getting what he wants. He will hunt this child like a sentinel, ignoring everything until the Heart of Gold is bleeding in his hands.

I can only hope that it never comes to this. Tristan is a child. A weak child, yes, but a child. If he were to stay in my own aura long enough, he'd mutate claws and teeth so he could at least defend himself. At most, he will transform into a new shape. My best bet is an insect, perhaps a scarab with prismatic wings? I don't want to know. Corruption is a painful process, and I don't want to harm him more than I already have. I took away his father, but he doesn’t know it. I don't want to be responsible for his own demise, too.

Chapter Text

"So what are you working on, Ringi?"

The student sighed. It had been three days since the project announcement, and Ringi still had no idea on what to do. The project at hand was making something centered around one of the 3D Realm's qualities. Like how anyone could control it for brief periods of time to create anything they wanted, or the various lifeforms inhabiting the space. Or landmarks, or the weather, or anything. There was so much to explain and talk about, yet Ringi couldn't pick a singular thing to focus on. Thus, he procrastinated.

The reason for this project was because of an incident regarding Cirrus Scar. A portal opened in the streets, leading to Earth. The two inhabitants of both dimensions only got a moment to gaze into each others worlds, before the rift closed. Ringi figured it was caused by Dave, or someone else who could travel between dimensions. Either way, this news spread like wildfire through the 3D Realm, and everyone collectively agreed that they needed to create a perfect, formal greeting to Earth. In the case of schools, it was simple projects about what made their home unique.

Ringi shook his head. "I don't know... I'm sorry, I really don't know what to do..."

He could see his teacher's expression fade. "Well, everyone is nearly done. I'd advise you start brainstorming topics." Donk suggested. "Or see what the others are doing. If you miss another project, you'll fail this class."

"I know..." Ringi murmured. "I'm gonna try to do something this time."

Donk smiled. "That's the spirit. Trying is better than... not trying." He said. "If you need help, just raise your hand."

Ringi nodded. He watched his teacher walk away, and return to the front of the classroom where Dingle was. He didn't know exactly what these two were, since they resembled a maiman, and a human with strange features. Dingle was metallic and had whiskers with rings on the end. Donk had three spheres for fingers and toes, and a long tail. They almost reminded Ringi of Dave and Bambi, but that was merely coincidence. Dave was a (2D) human, so it made sense. Bambi was a maiman just like Ringi, Bambom, and plenty of other residents.

Bambi is pretty odd, Ringi thought. I thought he was just a regular person who happened to be named after our true god, but no, he also happened to live in another dimension all his life! Maybe I could do the project about him... no, he's just named after Bambi. And someone else is doing him anyways. Shoot...

Ringi scanned the room, trying to see what his classmates were doing. Isla's project was on lakes and oceans; huge blobs of saltwater floating throughout the 3D Realm. Ripley was doing something about wisps, which was expected of her since her parents owned a reserve dedicated to these creatures. Paoko's was the Brass Zone, the very place this school was located in. It happened to be Ringi's home, too. Then his eyes fell on Zu.

Ringi floated off his seat and approached Zu. On their desk was a laptop, and next to it was a green, basketball-sized orb covered with tiny trees and little wooden shacks. Zu noticed Ringi staring, and slowly turned to face him. Zu had a spherical head, a cylinder body, curly evergreen hair, and four arms with three fingers each. Instead of legs, they had a segmented tail that ended with a pyramid. Two small black eyes and no visible mouth. Their head, body, and fingers were beige. Their arms and tail were a pearly white.

"What's that?" Ringi asked, pointing at the orb.

Zu glanced at their hands, before moving their arms in front of themself. They began signing, their movements slow and tired. Small letters appeared next to them. <A planet. My project is a representation of planets in the realm.>

"Any in particular?"

Zu shook their head. They gazed at him curiously. <Do you finally have an idea for your project?>

Ringi slumped. "Everyone's asking me that today. The answer's no." He grumbled. "But I'm glad you have something."

<Me too.> They agreed. <I must admit... I am attached to this little world I created. I want to make some little figurines and pretend they have a life here. Kind of like I am one of the chaos twins, secretly nudging things along behind the scenes. So far I am the only one like this. You understand, do you not?>

Ringi couldn't say. He knew the chaos twins personally, both from sheer randomness. He remembered meeting Bandu in a tree, doodling little patterns in the bark out of boredom. The other, however, he met while walking with Bambom. He remembered the sky becoming red, and a huge figure zooming up to him from below. He was terrified, but The Red Chaos had only come to check on Bambom. Since the three were together, he tried talking to them. Expunged was a lot nicer than he expected them to be, but it didn't excuse the fact that they were the more unpredictable one between them and Bandu. Ringi had heard stories of Expunged slinking in the shadows, in the background of the swirling sky, waiting patiently for someone to screw up so they could drag the unfortunate soul into their lair. Sometimes ordinary people vanished, or skilled, or even famous individuals. Ringi felt incredibly lucky to be on the good side of The Red Chaos... but that didn't mean he wasn't afraid of them.

<It does not matter in the end.> Zu continued. <We both have our own lives. I will be in mine, and you shall be in yours. Go now, they are waiting.>

Suddenly, the bell rang. Ringi flinched and his legs flung away from his body, before fixing themselves back. He flashed Zu a thumbs-up. "T-thanks! See you tomorrow!" He stammered.

Zu waved. <See you around, Ring.>

Weirdo, Ringi thought. Despite Zu's air of mystery, they still managed to be a good friend in the midst of work that was school. He swiftly returned to his desk, and gathered everything on it into his backpack. Dingle announced something relating to the projects, but he ignored it. He'd figure out his project sooner or later. He couldn't wait to see Toio again.

Everyone flooded out of the classrooms, and with them, so did Ringi. The twisting, vine-like hallways were full of floating students, all in different angles depending on what door they exited from. Dingle and Donk's classroom happened to be upside down, which would've certainly jarred the humans from the 2D World. Ringi pulled his backpack over his body, and flew to the nearest exit. He had a locker, but he didn't use it. Those things tended to slow everyone down anyways, and he didn't like being slowed down.

Eventually he reached the door, and promptly opened it. The outside was a shiny, metallic plane of bronze and iron, with trees popping out of designated holes in the floor. The sky was a swirling mixture of peach, banana, and light blue colors. Buildings surrounded every corner, towering above in angular patterns and designs. Most of them had giant gears holding them together, and chimneys on top expelling smoke. The Brass Zone was Ringi's home, but he was hoping to move towards the outskirts where Bambom lived. He was more of a country person anyways.

Pulling out his phone, Ringi checked the social medias of the 3D Realm. Bandu had posted a video of him rating places he's napped. The thumbnail was a photo of him hanging by the leg in strands of black thread. It was almost like he was caught in the web of a gigantic spider. Even in the background, Ringi could make out silhouettes of maimen caught in the strings. It was the only new video or content in the last four hours.

Hmm, Ringi thought, exiting YouTube. Maybe Bandu will have a few ideas. I should visit him. Yeah, that's a good idea. A very good idea. He's only The Green Chaos, which is infinitely better than his sibling, so nothing should go wrong, right? Right.

He dialed Bandu's number and held his phone to his right ear. "Hey Bandu."

A voice immediately chirped on the other end. "Hi Ringi! What's goin' on?"

"I was thinking I could visit you? I have a school project I'm working on, and I really need help on ideas and stuff... you'd be ok with that, right?"

Bandu hummed for a moment. "I can help! I got lots of phones and lots of ideas. You just leave school?"

Ringi nodded, knowing the other couldn't see it. "Mhm. I'm approaching my house. You gonna do that door thing again?"

"You know it! See you in a few!"

The call ended. Ringi put his phone away, and gazed up at his home. It was a tall rectangle, topped with a trapezoid prism as the roof. The walls were a rusty-golden hue, with bits of turquoise and silver for patterns. A few circular, dome windows were on the outside, allowing him to peer into his own home. He could see Toio sleeping in one of the windows. Ringi sighed, knowing his visit to Bandu would prolong their reunion. But school came first, otherwise his father would kick his butt.

He approached the door. He reached out and grabbed the knob, then turned. He promptly went inside. "Hey Bandu! Thanks for letting me..."

Ringi's voice trailed off. Instead of appearing in Bandu's house, he was in a large, empty, dark gray room. There was a big table in the middle, decorated with towers of various sweets. Sitting at this table were two maimen. One of them wore green and denim, while the other had all red and a hat with a wide brim. Both of them were smiling. Both of them swiftly turned to him moments later, staring straight into his soul. He froze.

Bandu waved. "Greetings, Mr. Long! We're having a tea party." He chimed. "Would you care to join us?"

Ringi held his breath. He nodded. "Sure..."

"Excellent." Expunged purred.

The Red Chaos gestured to an empty chair next to themself, but in front of Bandu. Ringi took a few minuscule steps towards the two, before floating and seating himself where Expunged suggested. He took off his backpack and held it in his lap. The siblings stared at him for a few moments, before glancing at each other. Despite the hospitality they offered, he couldn't shake off a vibe of uncertainty. It was probably because Expunged was in their Unfairness form, a form that they took whenever they snatched innocent people, or to assert themself over the Realm as a higher, grander authority.

Ringi unzipped his backpack and took out his computer. A simple laptop. "So um... I have this project at school, where I have to research something about the 3D Realm." He explained. "It can be literally anything, and it's because of a hypothetical first-contact with the 2D World. But the project is due in two days, and I don't have anything done yet... I was hoping I could get help from you two, maybe?"

Bandu giggled. "Of course we'll help you! We're well-versed in the entirety of the 3D Realm, silly."

"He's right." Expunged added. "We've been around for a long time. There is much to be discussed, and we can tell you anything you want..." then their voice became dark. "But there is a price to pay."

Ringi squeaked. "I-I just need one thing! Just one little thing! That's it!"

The Red Chaos grimaced. "Still. We give you something, you give us something in return." They said. "It doesn't have to be much, but why are you shivering, little one? What did I ever do to you?"

He hadn't even realized he was shaking, ever so slightly. Ringi took in a few quiet breaths in an attempt to calm himself. "I don't know... maybe it's because you kidnap people?" He whispered.

They blinked, then shrugged. "Fair point."

"You don't even know what they do to those they kidnap." Muttered a voice.

Ringi flinched. He turned to his side to see a minion standing next to him. It wasn't doing much, only having a faded smile and its hands behind its back. The siblings waved to the minion, but that was it. People overlook the minions so often, Ringi thought. They do so much for us when we don't want to. Maybe I should do the project about them. Nobody else has, and plus, it's better than diving into whatever the hell Expunged and Bandu are. If The Red Chaos scares us, then the humans will definitely be fearful of them too. I don't even know anything about them. I don't think I want to, they're terrifying...

"Heeeeey, minion!" Ringi said, placing his computer in a plate on the table.

The minion turned to him. "I have a name y'know." It spat. "Poip."

"Poip, sorry." Ringi corrected. "I was wondering if I could interview you?"

Poip stared at him. Its expression became one of confusion, but swiftly returned to the smile that all the other minions had. It nodded and held its hands in front of itself. "Sure. I'm assuming you have a camera or notepad for this."

"I have a phone." He said.

"Perfect. Follow me..."

Poip walked to a door on the end of the room. Ringi turned to the two siblings, who were both staring at him. Bandu gave him a thumbs up, while Expunged only gazed in total silence. He didn't know what they were thinking, but he hoped they both understood his sudden change. Ringi hopped off his seat, leaving his backpack and laptop behind. He pulled out his phone, hit record, and flew to Poip. He could barely hear the siblings chattering behind him.

The door opened, and Ringi followed Poip into a hallway. A long, winding, dark red hallway, branching into all sorts of directions. There were other minions here too, and they paid no attention to the two. Ringi looked around in awe, wondering what this place was. He had a few ideas. He just hoped that it was safe here.

Poip rubbed its hands together. "So, I'm Poip. Nice to meet you. I'm just a dandy 17-year-old minion, and a slave to Expunged." It said nonchalantly. "Always smiling on the outside, and eternally dead on the inside..."

Ringi frowned. "Bambi... you good?"

Poip shook its head. "No. When you've served a chaotic entity for the entirety of your life, you get to see a lot of shit. I kid you not, I've seen some real messed-up shit in my time."

"Do I dare ask?"

Its eyes went wide. "Ooooh... one time Expunged dragged fifty corpses through the halls because they wanted to paint the house red, even though it's already red. They also had one of their early creations come in because he was sick, and he set everything on fire. And don't get me started on when Bandu decided to vlog about this restaurant... they made tortellini for some reason, and SANG about it, which you should never do unless you want to summon Expunged. That day was something else... the worst part is, I think one of the chefs developed a crush on the monstrosity that is our boss."

All of that is deeply concerning and I didn't need to know any of it, but thanks, Ringi thought. I remember that last one. I was there when the video was uploaded on YouTube. That place belongs to Bendu's family, and for some reason Bandu decided it was a good idea to bring Brobgonal. Now, I don't have anything against the Chartreux family, but ooo... Bendu really gets on my nerves. Bendu is a top tier chef, he has good morals, but he isn't that smart, and it takes awhile for him to get the point. Not to mention how forgetful he is...

Ringi sighed. "I'm sorry you had to go through all... that."

Poip waved it off. "It's fine, it's fine. I was in the background for most of it. But mark my words... if that Bendu guy tries to flirt with Expunged too hard, they're going to kill him."

"Holy fuck." Ringi breathed.

"Yeah." Poip murmured. It stopped. "Anyways, I am completely emotionally stable. What other questions do you have about me, or the minions?"

Ringi didn't even know where to start. He was still thinking about the seemingly random yet disturbing things this minion described. Even the thing with Bendu stuck in his mind. He hasn't been around for awhile, which normally I wouldn't care about, but after hearing the fucking thing that Poip said he's probably going to die as soon as he finds a way to date The Red Chaos. Stupid on its own, but worse now thanks to that tidbit. Ringi took in a deep breath. No no no... focus, I need to interview Poip and the minions, not think about where Bendu is.

"Have you tried leaving?" Ringi whispered.

Poip put a finger to its chin. "Many times. I've lost count at this point, but Expunged always drags me back here if I get out." It grumbled. "They treat it like a game. I escape, they find me, and bring me home... sometimes I get to be outside, but it's usually in a squadron of other minions, with the boss supervising."

Ringi nodded. "I see... have others tried to escape?"

"Nope. As far as I can tell, I'm the only one." It sighed. "After so long, I found there was only one way to truly escape..." it pulled out a phone from its pocket. "Podcasts. My personal favorite is The Adventure Zone."

He gave it a thumbs up. In their interview, the minions from far away had come closer, leaning in from behind corners and standing on the walls. It was like they attracted a small audience. These minions seemed eager to hear more.

"How do you guys come to be? Do you have families?" Ringi asked.

Poip stared at him for a moment. It gestured to the other minions. "We are family. We're all related, like bees. And like bees, we have a queen..." it pinched the bridge of its nose. "Our boss, known as The Red Chaos, in actuality Data Expunged..."

"We have to depend on them to continue existing as a species." Piped a minion.

"Others have tried to create us, but the boss and their sib are the only ones that can create us." Added another.

Poip chuckled. "Yeah... exactly that. Exactly that... hi Bandu."

What? Ringi turned around, and lo and behold, the sibling to The Red Chaos was standing a few feet away from them. Bandu's phones orbited around him, and as usual, his mouth was open in a silly little smile. He strolled towards Ringi, and stood beside him and Poip.

"I'm gonna let you in on a little secret." Bandu said. "All the minions are... compliant. They'll do what you tell them, no questions asked. They enjoy following orders and working because it's what gives them purpose. Only a select few minions are given the freedom to deny orders and live how they choose, which includes Poip, and... this other minion..."

Poip rolled its eyes. "It's the one with the knife, right? It's in solitude somewhere." It deadpanned. "I call 'em Stabby."

"Yeah! That one!" Bandu shouted. He turned to Ringi. "You catchin' all of this, big man?"

Ringi's mind was in a spiral, trying to catch all of the information. He understood some of it. He was glad he was recording it all to use for later. "Y-yeah! I'm catching it! Definitely!" He stammered.

Bandu's smile became bigger. "Cool! Check this shit out!" He faced the crowd of green and purple critters that were watching them. "All minions... REVOLT AGAINST YOUR BOSS."

At first, nothing happened. Then, one by one, Ringi noticed something. The minions' shared giddy expressions furrowed into something more serious. Something... furious. They all raised their fists into the air, and took action. Each and every one of them flew past Ringi, and crammed into the door from which he came. Seconds later, he was alone with Bandu and Poip in an empty hallway.

Ringi stared at Bandu. "What was that? What did you do..?"

Bandu giggled. "I told them to murder my brother." He said innocently. "You might wanna cover your ears."

Before Ringi could say anything, a scream rang out. A long, distorted, bloodcurdling scream. At first it resembled Bambi's voice, but it quickly descended into many. It was like a thousand souls were crying out in vain as they were slaughtered. The fact that the screaming was coming from Expunged being murdered by their minions made it worser than it already was. The fact that Bandu was smiling through it all, however...

It wasn't long before the screaming faded, and an eerie silence followed. Ringi was frozen, yet quietly shivering. His phone trembled in his hands. Slowly, Bandu and Poip approached the open door, and went in. As much as Ringi didn't want to see what was on the other side, his stuff was in there, and he was curious.

So Ringi followed.

The table in the room was exactly the same as when he saw it last. But across the floor were splatters and streaks of glowing, multicolored, shimmering liquid. Ringi traced the streaks across the room, until his eyes fell upon Bandu and Poip standing in front of someone laying on the floor. Ringi hovered closer. His shivering worsened. Then he gasped, his voice shrill and panicked.

To say Expunged was hurt was an understatement. Deep lacerations dug through their body, even their face and clothing. Their left eye had been completely ripped out of its socket, and their chest was torn open. Their internal organs spilled out onto the floor, and pooling underneath them was that same glimmering fluid. Blood, surely, at this point.

Expunged twitched. Their remaining eye moved, their permanent smile unchanging. Yet they said nothing. All they did was glare at Bandu, who stared right back with a smile.

Then, gradually, their eye relaxed. Their damaged body went limp. Their slow and quiet breathing ceased. The life faded from them, until they were just a mutilated corpse on the floor.

"They're dead..." Ringi whispered, breaking the silence. He decided now was a good time to stop recording and put away his phone. "The Red Chaos is dead..."

"Yep." Bandu said. His voice had a bit of sadness to it, and his previous smile was now a frown. "You wanna go home?"

Ringi quickly nodded, unaware of his own tears. "Y-yeah... I do..."

Chapter Text

SPECIMEN NAME: [UNKNOWN]

SPECIMEN CODENAME: GODFATHER

HEIGHT: UNKNOWN

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

DATE OF DEATH: 1940

CAUSE OF DEATH: WEATHERED DOWN

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Found the egg OVERSEER and TYRANT hatched from. Took care of both as infants, returned them to the 3D Realm. Vanished. Specimen was found dead after millions of years. Upon being touched, specimen faded into dust.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: NULL AND VOID

SPECIMEN CODENAME: TYRANT

HEIGHT: N/A

WEIGHT: N/A

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: ACCIDENTAL

DATE OF DEATH: [REDACTED]

CAUSE OF DEATH: [REDACTED]

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
[SECTION DELETED. FUCK YOU!]

***



SPECIMEN NAME: PUDDLE

SPECIMEN CODENAME: UNIVERSAL

HEIGHT: [REDACTED]

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
No facial features whatsoever, organs visible. Flat to a mathematically impossible degree. Brought to 2D World through unknown beings, then to 3D Realm by TYRANT. Still alive.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: CONBI

SPECIMEN CODENAME: WRATH

HEIGHT: 200'

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: RANDOM 3D REALM FLUX

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Reclusive, unknown. Appears to hold vast knowledge. Refuses to share any of it.

***

UPDATED
SPECIMEN NAME: STAR SEARCH ALGORITHM / NILS

SPECIMEN CODENAME: CONDUCTOR

HEIGHT: 4'0

WEIGHT: 22lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY SPECIMEN 'OVERSEER'

DATE OF DEATH: ELEVEN YEARS AFTER CREATION

CAUSE OF DEATH: COMMON SICKNESS

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
I'm still here.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: MAST

SPECIMEN CODENAME: CARETAKER

HEIGHT: 10'4

WEIGHT: 70lbs

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY TWO SEPARATE BEINGS

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
A person of very high authority, but not the Lord. Oversees several countries and companies. Employment through him is considered an honor. Cares deeply for the 3D Realm.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: XUN

SPECIMEN CODENAME: SHARD

HEIGHT: 1'0

WEIGHT: 3lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
A doll that resembles OVERSEER's true form, but is not a perfect replica. Doll only has one button eye in the center, the arms are too big, and there is only one pair of tiny wings. Teleports around. Seemingly sentient.



***



SPECIMEN NAME: [UNKNOWN]

SPECIMEN CODENAME: COMET

HEIGHT: 11'3

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

DATE OF DEATH: 1560

CAUSE OF DEATH: HIGH-SPEED COLLISION

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Specimen crashed on Earth, body was found by OVERSEER. Specimen is a species called an Elysian.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: RHINESTONE

SPECIMEN CODENAME: GLAMROCK

HEIGHT: 10'4

WEIGHT: 450lbs

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: MANUFACTURED?

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Found by RAINBOW. Appears to be able to transform and move metal parts at will. After RAINBOW's passing, specimen was deconstructed, and a tiny worm was found inside. Specimen's metal was reused as THUNDER's wings, specimen's worm currently resides in OVERSEER's collection.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: SART

SPECIMEN CODENAME: RUBY

HEIGHT: 10'0

WEIGHT: 457lbs

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: MANUFACTURED?

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Appeared in 3D Realm fighting GLAMROCK, origin unknown. Was kidnapped and altered by maimen, causing arrogance in personality. Escaped. Hunts for sport, acts like a petty child. Hypothesis: specimen also has a worm inside of it.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: CAMEO RAINE

SPECIMEN CODENAME: RAINBOW

HEIGHT: 5'5

WEIGHT: 174lbs

DATE OF CREATION: 1981

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CONCEIVED

DATE OF DEATH: [REDACTED]

CAUSE OF DEATH: [DELETED]

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Specimen is a 2D human. Was brought to 3D Realm and assumed a maiman shape, but is still human. Bonded with THUNDER. Married THUNDER. Died to [REST OF SECTION DELETED. FIGURE IT OUT!]

***

SPECIMEN NAME: RED DUSK

SPECIMEN CODENAME: STYX

HEIGHT: 10,002'8

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: RANDOM 3D REALM FLUX?

DATE OF DEATH: 1500

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
A river of blood from the dead washes up to the shoreline, tainting the sands from where we mourned. Who the fuck changed my notes to this?

***

UPDATED
SPECIMEN NAME: RECOVERED_PROJECT

SPECIMEN CODENAME: APOTHEOSIS

HEIGHT: 5'3

WEIGHT: 115lbs

DATE OF CREATION: JUNE 20th, 1988

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CONCEIVED

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Something very bad happened to him.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: DAVE SUSS MOGGUS

SPECIMEN CODENAME: CLONE

HEIGHT: 5'3

WEIGHT: 130lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY SPECIMEN 'APOTHEOSIS'

DATE OF DEATH: TWO WEEKS AFTER CREATION

CAUSE OF DEATH: STABBED IN THE HEART

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Appears to be missing crucial memories. In the time he lived, he attempted to keep APOTHEOSIS hidden. Never realized he was a clone until death. Soul located in [DELETED].

***

SPECIMEN NAME: DAVE SUSS MOGGUS

SPECIMEN CODENAME: REPLICA

HEIGHT: 5'3

WEIGHT: 122lbs

DATE OF CREATION: [REDACTED]

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CREATED BY SPECIMEN 'OVERSEER' TO REPLACE SPECIMEN 'CLONE'

DATE OF DEATH: TBA

CAUSE OF DEATH: TBA

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Specimen believes he is still CLONE, and goes between fluxes of peace and sadness. Specimen is no longer immune to corruption.

***

SPECIMEN NAME: DAVE "UNHINGED" CLASS

SPECIMEN CODENAME: LEO

HEIGHT: 5'0

WEIGHT: UNKNOWN

DATE OF CREATION: UNKNOWN

PURPOSE OF CREATION: CONCEIVED

DATE OF DEATH: INNERCALL 6th, 2021

CAUSE OF DEATH: EATEN BY MIMIFLY

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
APOTHEOSIS from another universe. Specimen is a child, has no powers, and is completely human. Implied to have killed his universe's OCELLUS. Does the 3D Realm even exist in LEO's universe?

Chapter Text

The halls were empty.

Chilling and silent.

The putrid smell of a dead chaos god wafted through the air, into the rooms of the people who lived in the twisting corridors of this strange house. They slowly left their rooms, poking out. The Trixes neatly stacked on top of each other. Kirby Dave hung on his door handle by his really long arm. Dale held a bloodied butcher's knife in one of his hands. The giant moth-like creature sat itself in the doorframe, its wings and tail folded inward. Smaller, caterpillar-like creatures curled around it. A Bambi-shaped being fell from a ceiling door, only to stop midway because of the thin appendage wrapped around their neck like a noose.

Then there was the last door to open, who belonged to RECOVERED_PROJECT. He was the only one to leave. He floated out of his room, across the floor. He passed the residents of the house. Their eyes watched him, but whether they were nervous or curious was unknown. He didn't care what they thought, he knew what he was doing.

Eventually he found a door with a familiar symbol on it. A big red X. The door was open a crack, and it happened to be exactly where the stench of rot came from strongest. He reached out and pulled it open, then went inside. A meadow of flowers greeted him, and a ring of pointed stones reaching towards the big blue sky above. Butterflies fluttering around, all different sizes, shapes and colors. In the center of the ring was Bandu, sitting with his legs crossed over each other, eye closed. The lightning in his body was jittering. He was in his origin form.

REC approached the green chaos god. "What happened?" He asked.

Bandu's eye opened. He sighed heavily. "It's a bit of a long story. I can't explain it in a way that would make sense, since... it's chaos god stuff."

"Ok... but like, what literally happened just now?" REC pressed. "It smells like death."

"And you're completely right." Bandu said, angelic electronic voice neutral. "Expunged died a bit ago. This is their favorite room, you see. They told me if they ever died in their home, to have me bury them here."

That explained some things. REC wasn't sure how to feel about this information. As far as he knew, Expunged couldn't die. So to hear and smell the evidence right in front of himself was jarring. Maybe see, too. He spotted a shovel a few feet away, lightly dotted with a strange glowing blood that withheld the colors of the rainbow. Like a liquified mosaic.

He remembered the first time he met Expunged. He and Bambi were playing Uno, but oh no! Bambi cheated, and someone wasn't happy with that. REC remembered being pulled back into the psychedelic world that caused him all his strife... and this time it was because of a gigantic eldritch godlike abomination. Then Bandu appeared and saved REC and Bambi from becoming lunch. The four officially met, and then they separated, only being left the contact of Bandu incase they wanted to come back.

Or... that was how REC remembered it. Upon gazing into his clone's mind, Dave recalled it differently. Dave thought it was a more peaceful interaction, with him and Bambi appearing in front of an initially pissed Cheating Expunged, to Bandu showing up and all of them getting along. REC wasn't sure how it worked, but it was probably some neurological thing he neglected to study. The brain was a wonderfully strange thing. So was his control over the 3D Realm on his last strings of life.

And now the world was all sorts of gravitational directions, for the thing that murdered him, his clone, and so many others was dead. Expunged finally got karma. Whether this was bad or not, however, was debatable. There were so many pros and many more cons to them... and all of them were dead.

"Who... killed them?" REC whispered.

Bandu shrugged. "I told the minions to. We're both at fault here, but it was ultimately me."

"Why?" Can they be revived? Or are they gone for good?

A sigh. "That's where the hard-to-explain part comes in. Me and Expunged have this thing we like to call Revenge Fratricide Tennis. They slapped me a few hundred million years ago, and I got really mad so I crushed their skull." Bandu emphasized. "They came back... and disassembled my insides in alphabetical order. Ever since, we've gone back and forth offing each other. It's tradition at this point, and if we ever forget about it, Brobgonal has the honors of reminding us who gets to do it next."

If REC had his face, he still would have no idea how to react or express himself. It left him with more questions. More wonders, more things he wanted answers from. Of the things he did understand, it was only the crumbs left behind of an ages-old tale he had no part in.

"So... you two can't truly die? Do you revive each other?" REC asked, hovering slightly closer. "How often do you do this??"

Bandu got to his feet, and brushed nonexistent particles off himself. "The 3D Realm doesn't like it when we die, and respawns us in a three-hour period. We tried a double suicide once... but it brought us back nonetheless." His eye's pupil suddenly became a small dot, and his voice went cold. "Our souls cannot rest, RECOVERED_PROJECT. We are doomed to exist for eternity, possibly even after the end of the universe and the collapse of spacetime itself. Just floating in empty nothingness. Forced to remain conscious, knowing we can never stay asleep forever."

"Holy moly." Was all REC could say.

Bandu stared into him for a few more moments. Then he blinked, and his eye returned to normal. "Also I think the longest hiatus we had was a millennium or two...? I dunno, we don't keep track of little things like that."

REC nodded slowly. "I see... I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

Bandu chuckled. "Don't worry 'bout it! You get used to being brutally murdered over and over after awhile." He paused. "You also get used to seeing others be brutally murdered over and over after awhile."

Silence came afterwards. The lightning in his body had significantly calmed down, and gently curled around his leg like a tail. REC was unmoving, processing everything that was just said. Processing everything that ever happened to him in his life regarding the twins. He never had a sibling before, so he couldn't relate. He was also not some shapeshifting, reality-breaking, immortal chaos god. However, he was a human-turned-faceless thingy that had some control over the dimension he now called home. He was out of place, like them. Perhaps in his continuous journey to understand all there is, he could find a way to accept the twins for who and what they are...

REC's thoughts were cut off by an arm suddenly wrapping around his shoulder and neck. Bandu was leaning against him. "I know who you are, y'know." He said. "I know what happened to you, and what you did."

"What do you mean?" REC inquired, a little nervous.

Bandu lifted his free arm, and did some wiggly motions with his fingers. "Remember when you tore open that big fucking dimensional rift in The Three-D Realm? We noticed." He recalled. "Had that Boyfriend fella not calmed you, we would've solved that problem for ya. Expunged would've also taken a bite out of you."

Not like that already happened but on an incredibly worse level, REC thought grumpily. "Is this why they despise me?"

"...yeah." Bandu peeped. "They saw you and your power as a grand scheme to fuck up the carefully-woven ecosystem of our home. All the times that they messed with you, all the times that you could've died by their hands... it was all foreshadowing to your end." He let out a deep sigh. "I tried to change their mind. Honestly, I tried and persuaded as hard as I could, Dave. The best I did was postpone the inevitable, and give you all the happiness and answers I could without telling you the truth. They never told me when they were going to kill you, or how... all I ever got from them was the promise of your permanent disappearance."

REC tilted his head down towards his hands. "Well, something must have changed in that twisted brain of theirs, because they brought me and my clone back." He muttered. "Were they intent on killing him too?"

"I... don't know." Bandu whispered. "I didn't even realize you were dead until a week after it happened. W-we had a chat. They told me they offed you, but you came back without them or me reviving you. Yet you weren't... you. We thought that clone was you. They told me they brought him to their house because they wanted to see if you could pull off that trick again..." he croaked. "Were you there when we all went to Paint Cliff?"

REC nodded. "I was with him the entire time."

"So you were there when I had to return him to the house." Bandu continued. His voice was sad. "They... told me they were going to kill him that night. If he came back again, then they were going to lock him up forever. If not, then that was the end of it. I thought... since it was gonna be his last day, I'd have everyone come together for some fun..."

"You knew." REC deadpanned. "You knew all this time... and you never once thought of telling me or him?"

The arm wrapped around him slithered back to its owner. Bandu laced his fingers together. "I thought about it lots of times, actually. I wanted to tell you ever since we met, but I didn't, because you wanted to learn more. Even after you got used to our home, you were still adventurous and wary. I didn't want to crush your spirit." He explained. "I did try to hint toward it, but I don't think the message got across... I care about you a lot, Dave. You're someone unique to this universe, and even if you did have the power to destroy everything, I still wanted to be your friend. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you..."

The faceless, broken man was quiet for a moment. Then he sighed. "I'm disappointed you didn't tell me anything... but I appreciate what you've done. You've been so nice to me. Me and Dave. I don't think I would've ever had the courage to learn if you didn't shoot me that text. Even in spite of everything that happened... it was worth not knowing my doom was being orchestrated." He admitted. "Thank you."

He turned to Bandu, only to see a big fat tear hanging from his glistening eye. Instead of saying anything, the green chaos god tackled REC, wrapping his arms together in a tight bearhug. REC didn't even flinch. He returned the hug, his arms being weaker and colder. The butterflies fluttering about stayed where they were, leaving the two in peace. They stayed like this for what felt like an eternity.

"You can... let go." REC whispered.

"No. :3"

How the hell does he say those things? REC thought. He shook his head slightly. "I do however wonder why Expunged just... kept us alive." He said. "I know they said something about being amused by us, but I still don't understand..."

Bandu managed a shrug. "Expunged is the strangest person I've ever known. They're really weird, and rarely show their cards to those they play with." He hummed. "Then again, when you've lived as long as we have, forms of entertainment are hard to come by. They found interest in torturing people. They also found interest in overseeing the 3D Realm, and occassionally pulling out their synthesizer to make some sick jams."

REC pondered this for a moment. "I still don't get it."

A quiet giggle from Bandu. "Well, I tried. I don't think you're really supposed to understand them. They're just themself. Always and forever." He mused. "Even I don't fully understand 'em, and neither would Bambi if he had all his memories."

"The hell does Bambi have to do with this? Actually, why does the entire dimension apparently revolve around him?" He inquired. "Seriously... how is he the god these people name and devote themselves to, when they've got you two?"

These questions were what made Bandu finally pull away. The comically oversized teardrop was still there, but his eye no longer glistened like he was about to cry waterfalls. "That's a really really really really long story. Are you sure you wanna know?"

"I like long stories. Plus, I've already learned enough disturbing information today." REC chirped. "I can handle more."

Bandu wiped his tear on his arm, and his eye finally transformed into a bright smile. "Okay-dokay! So, it all started in a void of nothing but darkness, when we had no voice, no name, no reason to do anything... or that's what we thought. It actually began someplace else-"

Chapter Text

It's summer now. I find it strange that the timezones in the Main Song District line up perfectly with wherever the fuck Bambi lives in Brazil. It's very convenient. Or it's lazy writing. Either way, I delight in continuing to mess with this pathetic little human and his quirky family. Dave has displayed an incredible amount of cowardice to deny his family the information they so desperately crave, but it does buy me extra time to mess with them while they're still ignorant. Hehe~

There are other things for me to note here. I haven’t kept a steady dream journal, so I guess I’ll put what I remember here. Most of my dreams are nothing. I once dreamed many things, but it’s waned with my age. I’m surprised I even still dream.

There is a repeating dream I have been having. Or rather, a set pattern among these dreams, making them similar yet different. Put simply, I am never completely myself. Sometimes I wear things from the popular eras of humanity. Sometimes I look like some demonic creature, or an angel (not the worms). Sometimes I’m Dave, for some reason? But this dream always ends with me being mauled by my double, the real me. I hate to admit that I have this dream specifically the most. Once I was a spider, just sitting in a bush, waiting for something to fly into my web. I remember having a good relationship with Hadie in this one, I think she was a princess… how silly. 

The most recent iteration of this dream intrigues me so. While I looked the same as my self, I didn’t feel the same. I felt heavy. I could only walk on all fours. There was this burning feeling in my stomach. I towered above the others, but oddly, I felt small. I saw my brother in this dream, happily living with his ex. I saw Bendu covered in bullrushes. I saw Dave, Bambi, and Tristan, and this human I swore I once saw before but I don’t remember his name… I remember torturing someone. Don’t remember who it was, but I woke up soon after, with a scream. I don’t know why.

The Bambi I know is really fucking weird. He’s why I exist, or part of the reason. You know the story already, stop asking. He was once covered in eyes, and only two gave me and Bandu extraordinary powers. I may not be able to see into the future, but I can see something else, something that… you know what? That existential crisis is in another entry, fuck you!

But Bambi. Bambi Bambi Bambi. He had many eyes, too many eyes. He could see across all time. I don’t remember, did he speak to his future self? What else was he capable of? What else did he see? What did he dream? Did he ever feel real? Did these traits pass to me? I don’t think about this part of him that often nowadays, but then again, I don’t have many days left. 

Anyways… Bendu. This person. Will not leave me alone. Is he stupid? Obviously crazy. He is clearly mad and must be put down by someone other than me. I am tired of having him for dinner, and surprisingly I am also tired of having tortellini. I like more foods than this pasta, I also like beets, bitch! At first this behavior was charming, but I am getting so sick of his shit. If I can’t kill him, then the corruption he has been absorbing will kill his mind. Hopefully he’ll leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want to lock him up in my laboratory because preserving that asshole is like keeping bad friends.

This reminds me of Phasbi. We never married, but for a moment of time, we were in love. It was an experience. A hurtful experience. He only wanted to drive a blade through my heart, and he did. But I always come back. I have no choice but to. I kept him around, watched him become a peacock monster, and tortured him for months. The minions then knew this wasn’t healthy, and I was wise enough to listen. He’s gone. Has been for thousands of years. But sometimes it feels like one of his feathers is stuck in my throat, or his eye, watching me. I can’t forget him no matter how hard I try. I loved him, but he hurt me, and like the sensitive being I am, I refuse to love again.

Bendu is clearly trying to change this. Maybe in another life, if he is lucky. But not this one. The only person I can think of who is not like him or Phasbi is Elsen. Yes, that Elsen. Lord Fervent, who has ruled this unfair realm for almost two hundred years.

She is a very interesting Atypical. When I first met her, her hair was cut short. She had a snippy attitude and stood straighter than a ruler. The scouts say she grew up in Belle, the daughter of a baron. I remember seeing her glare at me, yelling at me, but she was afraid. The fear coming from her was overwhelming, so I left. This was one of several things she has done to gain my interest.

And since I was interested, I kept visiting her. I appeared and surprised her, and she yelled at me. Her fear of me lessened each time, until, one day, I for some reason wanted to eat her. But I didn’t. She smiled at me. She asked me how my day was. For some reason, all previous desire for her flesh was gone, and all I could do then was float before her and hold a light conversation. It was… strange. It was nice.

We developed a friendship, which was something completely new for me. All my life, I have hated the Lords. All the prissy rich folk, all the noblemen, all those who want to make this realm a shittier place. I eat them ALIVE. They fucking locked me and Bandu in a box for a thousand years! There are 70+ entries on that shit! They deserve karma times quadrillion! And yet me and Elsen are forbidden friends, never to meet in public, always in secret. As much as past me would despise this… I like it.

And now, Elsen is old. Nearing her time, much like me. She plans to retire soon. She said she’d rather spend her last days with me. Systematically, it makes sense, as her biological family has all died through murder (not me this time) or illness. She doesn’t have any friends besides her business partners and coworkers. I’m her only friend. She’s mine. It’s odd to think about. Either way, I feel honored, and something else. Something I can’t really describe. A fuzzy feeling in my chest. A warmth in my face, an ache in my heart. I want to protect her with my life, and I don’t know why. Part of me thinks this is another Phasbi, but Elsen is not malicious. She’s also old. Her hair is long and she struggles to care for herself. She’s forgetting, too. I’m worried she will forget me, but the way she hugs me has always stayed the same, always friendly and soft…

Well… that’s all the energy I have for now. My mind will continue to race and think about you, Elsen, even though I shouldn’t. The minions are off today and Bandu is busy trying to speedrun eating an entire pizza in that time sphere of his. Last I checked he could only make it to three hours the last few times he did this, so I should have a nice amount of time to get a nap in. Should. Haha, see, it’s funny because earlier I was writing about dreams… ok yeah I should rest bye

Chapter Text

There were three chairs of equal design and comfort.

Only one was occupied.

On the left, there was a corn farmer. 3D, made of simple shapes. Situated quietly in his chair. He wore denim overalls, and a red shirt. The beanie on his head translated poorly, becoming a sort of sunhat instead. His hands were together in his lap.

The room he was in was painted with strange patterns. Mixes of pink, green, and white splashed in different spots, stripes, and paisley. At the corners of the room were potted plants. Bushes of thorns. Rose bushes, the farmer assumed, due to the beautiful black flowers that bloomed. Last he remembered, black roses weren't natural.

Bambi didn't remember how he got here. Nothing at all about the events leading up to this were there. Nothing. He was just minding his own business, sitting around... doing... something. And now he's here. Was this a dream? A prank? He knew exactly who would have the nerve to prank him, but he couldn't think of its name.

Bambi was impatient, so he stood up, his bones creaking in the process. Silently, he winced in pain, biting his lip. His vision flickered. His eyes blinked. There was no warmth in this weird room, only a bleak coldness. So cold it was, it irritated his skin.

Ok, where am I. And how do I get out of here? He thought.

He rubbed his hands together, but it caused them to get sore. He pouted. His eyes scanned the room, and eventually fell on a door. A simple wooden door, painted over in white. With swiftness, he approached it, turned the knob, and opened it.

He found himself gazing into a hallway of shifting black and white colors. It would be mesmerizing if it didn't make him feel sick. So, naturally, he closed the door. Then he opened it again, but this time, he was met with a brick wall. He closed it again.

Before he could try his luck one more time, the door flew open, revealing two yellow figures. Bambi jumped back, and bared his teeth. These two... one was taller than the other. The taller one had digitigrade legs, a hospital gown, and brown shorts. He was bald, but on his head was a set of insect-like antennae, and golden scales. His nose was triangular, and his teeth sharp. His fingernails were long, like blades. He had a tail ending in an arrow tip, and shredded beetle wings on his back.

The other figure, which was shorter, wore a professional green uniform. A uniform for someone who worked on a commercial vehicle, complete with a hat adorned with a golden heart emblem. Their yellow body had bangs of hair the same color, and they only had three fingers. They had a tail ending in a tuft of fluff, and feathered wings that pressed against their back. The only thing these two people shared in common was their yellowness... and their black eyes.

The taller figure, who was strikingly familiar, whispered in an equally familiar voice. "You're back."

I'm back?! Bambi wanted to say. I've never been here before!

The tall child smiled creepily, like an actor in a crappy horror movie. "I've seen you before." He sneered. Then he frowned. "You're not supposed to be here... why are you here, and not at the station?"

"Beats me!" The smaller figure shouted obnoxiously.

This smaller figure wandered over to a chair, and flopped on it. They snapped their fingers, and suddenly a candy bar appeared in their hands. Whatever brand it was, Bambi didn't care. He floated back as the tall child approached him, staring down into his soul. This child was... was... family. And yet, he didn't look like this. He wasn't seven feet tall, and he certainly wasn't some demonic bug thing with knives for nails.

You're not him , Bambi wanted to say. Who are you? Why can't I say your name, or even think of it?

The tall child's black eyes blinked, and opened to glowing red pupils. "Can't say names." He said. "That's against the rules."

"But we're all here for a reason, aren't we?" The other one peeped, adjusting their hat. "We use titles and other things like that, because we want an identity."

"Yeah."

Ok, but who are you? You're not the one I know! Bambi thought back.

The tall child slowly shook his head. "No, I'm not. I was created to replicate... but I'm not perfect... or at least, not entirely perfect." He put a hand to his chest. "I'm known as The Reaper."

"You can probably guess who I am, based on the hat." The other child murmured.

Bambi's eyes narrowed. I cannot, actually .

They frowned. "I'm The Conductor! Wow! I thought it would be more obvious!"

... oh .

"Yeah, stupid-head." The Conductor crossed their arms. "You're dumber than I remember."

Have I seen you before? Bambi wanted to ask.

They swung their legs onto the arm of the chair. They stared at him with their beady black eyes of oil. "No." They said. "But I've seen you! You used to be great! So great, you towered above the world! But now after years and years and years... it's all for nothing."

I have no idea what that means.

"Eh. It was worth a shot." They crossed their legs. "I bet you're wondering where you are."

I - Bambi threw his hands up. Yes! I wanna know where I am! Why am I here? And not home? Why don't I remember everything???

The Reaper and The Conductor exchanged glances, neither of which felt comforting. The Reaper returned his gaze to Bambi. "You are in a house of wonders, but not the one you know." He said. "Outside is a land of properties so unique that it is different in appearance based on the individual."

Who taught you how to speak this way?

"No one. I did it myself." The Reaper shrugged, letting his upper teeth poke out. "Remember: I'm not your child, and I'll never be."

I know that . Bambi shivered, so he hugged himself. Can you tell me how to leave?

The Reaper nodded. "Sure. But you'll have to stick close to me. This place... is like an environment of shifting paths, and you are an invasive organism."

I want to go home .

"I know. I know..." The Reaper's voice was... sad. "Please, follow me. Don't straggle behind."

If following a copy of the child Bambi knew would get him out, then he'd have to accept this fact with sincerity and dignity. He still refused to hold The Reaper's hand. Bambi glanced back, before turning to the open door. Swiftly, he followed The Reaper out of the paisley room.

"Don't worry, you'll see me again later!" The Conductor shouted.

I hope I don't . Bambi thought to himself. You're creepy as fuck, and I don't like you .

He and The Reaper walked through a deteriorating hallway. The paint was peeling off the wall, revealing rotting wood and exposed wiring. There were dead spiders on the moldy carpet, and the florescent lights above were either off or flickering. Bambi instead focused on the tall child before him. The Reaper was like the one he knew, but twisted. If the shadow selves of people existed, then The Reaper was certainly the shadow to the golden child Bambi knew and cared for.

The two were walking towards a door. A door that was a minute or two away from where they currently were. It had an exit sign, which was a plus. But the hallway itself began to shift from a sketchy location, to bricks, and smears of spray-paint. People Bambi didn't recognize whispered behind the walls. The lights above were all in working condition, until the hallway rumbled, dust falling from the ceiling.

And it might've been a coincidence, but Bambi blinked, and suddenly remembered something. Something that took place before he woke up here, but not at home.

It was windy today. The air was decently warm, but not cold enough for long sleeves or a sweater (unless you were Dave). The background was a deep, deep turquoise, decorated with strings of lace that resembled strands of DNA. The piece of broken road Bambi stood on was surrounded by ruined skyscrapers and floating debris. The smell of smoke hung in the air.

Bambi sighed and put his hands on his hips. "Where the fuck am I..."

He craned his head, which was much easier in this 3D form. The damage this city had taken didn't look new, but rather, old. Very old, perhaps, but he wasn't the best judge for that. He hopped off the road and floated forward. It was lonely here. Not a good sign, for many reasons.

Bambi didn't want to be here. He would rather be back at the farm, in his cornfield. He had to admit that this desolate array of debris was nicer than having the sun beating down on his skin. Actually, that's what he was doing before he came here. Just doing his job, feeling the same emptiness he always felt.

Ten minutes ago, Dave emerged from the cool, air-conditioned house, and approached him. Apparently, Boyfriend had escaped to the 3D Realm. How? Bambi couldn't care less to remember, but Dave was very concerned. It was from this persuasion that Bambi was thrusted through a rift, and given the simple objective of bringing Boyfriend back to Earth. A simple task, one would think, but Bambi had a billion acres to cover since Dave couldn't get an exact location.

And then, Bambi heard a noise. A droning, screeching cry that rang out from the distance, and it was only getting closer with each second. Anxiety trickling through his bones, Bambi quickly ducked behind a large collection of cinderblocks. He held his hat close to his head, as the screeching got louder and louder.

It was only a moment, but it explained everything. Rocketing past the buildings at lightning speed was a massive figure. A god in crimson, destination unknown. A loud boom reverberated through the city the moment it passed through. Some panes of glass shattered, and someone screamed, but it wasn't Bambi.

Once the threat of a chaos god was absent, Bambi came out of hiding. Damn. You can be very scary when you want to be , he thought bitterly. A chill went through him, but he didn't know why. Wait, are you looking for Boyfriend too?

"The last thing I want is for those kids to face an agonizing demise..." echoed the words of Dave in Bambi's memories.

Yes, it would be terrible if Expunged found Boyfriend first, but considering his history with battling various entities across all time and space, apparently, he'd probably be ok. Even if Bambi hated this stupid ignoramus, he'd be letting himself and Dave down if Boyfriend was harmed, or eaten, by the scarlet beast that ruled the 3D Realm. Did he once battle it in song? Bambi couldn't remember, but he knew Boyfriend needed to best Expunged should it show its fangs. If all else failed, then Bambi would be the last line of defense before Dave.

Well, either way, Bambi needed to find this twerp before Expunged did.

In the rubble of the city, he spotted a featureless cube float into view. It was just an orange cube. Nothing special about it at all. Yet, it seemed to be sentient, because it was twisting and turning in the air as the sky reverted to a more soothing shade of red. Bambi, out of curiosity, floated towards the cube.

You are lost?

The words he heard weren't verbal, but mental. Someone was talking to him in his head. "Who's that?!" He demanded.

If you're trying to communicate with me through sound, that is a foolish decision. The voice hummed. I can read your thoughts. Communicate with me through that.

Thoughts? This's ridiculous! And highly invasive!

There we are. Now we are in business.

No one else was here, except for the cube. Bambi's eyes were fixated on the cube. The shapes making up his body shivered. Are you... are you the one talking to me? That cube? The cube?

My name is Facet, but yes. The cube replied.

Facet, Facet... it was a dumb math term Dave likely knew the meaning behind. Bambi sighed and inched closer. He had many thoughts, but somehow he managed to corral them into individual words, so this sentient cube could apparently hear him.

Ok, Facet... why you talking to me in my head?

Facet somehow managed a shrug, by lightly bouncing up and down. My kind are not like yours. We speak through our spirits as opposed to our vessels. We cannot see, hear, taste, or smell. All we can do is feel our surroundings at their most brilliance.

And why is that?

Due to existing in a world of nothing, most likely. We weren't created... like you.

"But I wasn't created?!" Bambi snapped. It took him a moment to remember that the cube couldn't hear him. I mean, I was not created! I was born like everyone else!

You may be, but I remember a time before this. Facet recounted. Your people were shaped from the hands of a god. Mine were already here, waiting to be discovered. Unfortunately, they mistake us as shapes, and so we are but all forgotten...

Shapes? Bambi glanced up. Like the fucking shapes in the sky? Those are people?!

We are fluid and change with the realm's background, but not by will alone. Some of us are lucky to be in the overworld. Some of us are lucky to speak with beings such as yourself. Some of us are luckier to be heard, or remembered...

There was a hint of sadness in Facet's pseudo-voice, like it knew that Bambi wouldn't remember it either. As much as he wanted to deny this, he knew in his beating heart that it wouldn't be true. He never remembered obscure encounters, especially ones that featured featureless shapes. Yet...

You are looking for someone, yes?

Bambi flinched. "I- yes! Yes!" He put his hands together. "This stupid blue-haired twerp! He come in singing and singing and that is all he does!"

Facet didn't respond.

Oh, right . Bambi facepalmed. I'm looking for a teenager with blue hair. He is 2D and loves to sing .

Facet twisted and turned through the air, floating around him, then up, towards the sky. The others have located him. It said. Go west, to the Isles, where the trumpets play and the angels sing.

I don't understand this metaphor! Bambi screamed in his head.

Go left. Go left.

Oh . He waved awkwardly. Thank you?

I was never here.

Facet faded away, and Bambi was alone. At least he knew where to go now.

"Your friend was here too, once." The Reaper said. "He was nothing more than a wisp of smoke. Featureless, faceless, but he left prints of blood on the walls. You might see them, you might not."

Huh? Bambi blinked. What did you say?

"Nothing..." The Reaper murmured. "Did you get lost in your imagination? My... creator... often says that you do."

He... wasn't incorrect. Bambi nodded meekly. Yeah, but what's it to you? Who is your... creator?

The Reaper's wings buzzed. "Can't say names."

I know that! What is its, or their, title? You're The Reaper, that other one is The Conductor, I'm The Farmer, I guess.

"...I don't feel very comfortable telling you that." The Reaper chittered. "See, we're already at the exit. You can go to the station now."

... oh. I be damned.

This made The Reaper giggle softly. Now that they were here, at the exit, Bambi waved goodbye. Opening the door, he was met with light. Natural light, and dead grass. So much dead grass, a whole field full of it, and a white sky. While hesitant, Bambi knew he had to continue to go home. So, he floated forward, and heard the door shut behind himself.

Hmm . Bambi put a finger to his chin. I remembered something. Something important! Before I got here I was in the 3D Realm, looking for... for... hmm ...

"For who?"

Bambi flinched wildly, and whipped around in a flash. He was met with another familiar face, one he didn't want to see right now. This person was human, 2D, with ginger hair and freckles on his fair skin. He had large black eyes with slit, yellow pupils. The bottom half of his legs were replaced by prosthetics that fit in the steampunk genre. He had wings. Moth-like wings, yet they also resembled those of a bird. But the best part was his cheesy sci-fi spacesuit.

Go away. Bambi backed away from this person. Go away!

"Oh, but don't you want help?" He tilted his head to the side. He extended his hand. "You and I share the same problem: we're not meant to be here."

Bambi didn't accept this fucker's hand. I don't like you!

"I should hate you for this, but I have no resentment towards you." He drew his hand back. "Hello, you. I am known as The Outsider. Do you have a pseudonym, or should I call you The Paradox?"

Why would I be called The Paradox? I'm The Farmer! I told that imposter of my bestie's son that! Bambi stomped his foot into the grass, which crunched underneath his weight. It was here that he noticed it was gently snowing.

The Outsider opened his wings, and brought his hands out from his chest. "I was not there for it, but a traveler from my world told me this story." He said. "You are responsible for the greatest enemy in my world... but also my existence. You and your lover brought upon my universe a pair of twins. One of the twins came for your lover. Foolishly, you pushed your lover out of the way, taking the attack instead."

What the fuck does any of this have to do with me? And you?

"You had a choice... and you chose poorly." The Outsider let his arms fall to his sides. "My enemy absorbs and consumes the soul. You were very powerful, once. Having taken your power, my enemy went on to bring about the world under a spell of twisted harmony. My enemy created an army to conquer the universe and all of its realms... but here, you let your lover die. And there is no army, no fleeing from mindlessness. Best of all, your child of pure gold and hope is still alive..."

Bambi wanted to get out of this conversation. Ok...? So then why are you here?

"I don't know. I'm not supposed to be here." The Outsider shook his head. "But I know why." As if trying deliberately to upset Bambi, The Outsider crouched. "All of us here are dead . All of us here have been murdered in one form or another."

Ok.

"Ok? Is that all you have to say?" Flabbergasted, The Outsider stood up. "I make you known of this purgatory, and all you say is ok?"

Yeah . Bambi shrugged.

"You are full of infidelity."

Jokes on you! I know what that means .

The Outsider rolled his eyes... did he always have six eyes? "The Pretentious One informed me that you might."

Pretentious One? Who?

" I do not belong here, but the me you know is here as well." The Outsider clarified. "A great deal of disruption in the fabric of time and space has led me to be pulled from my world, into yours, into the claws of the beast that put us all here. I do not know the specifics to how The Pretentious One ended up on the raft to here, but like me, he made an enemy of his origin creator. Farmer? The Farmer? Are you there? What are you staring at?"

"HEY!" Bambi shouted.

Under his control, the 3D Realm became a beautiful arrangement of cubes, all having a gradient that shifted between yellow, green, and blue. Part of him was still amazed, yes, but also something else. If what Facet claimed was true, then there were lots of eyes watching him. Metaphorical eyes. Watching his soul, apparently, which sounded nuts. Then again, here he was, made of shapes, as tall as Dave, floating in a dimension he was still struggling to comprehend! And Bambi was only here because of this blue-haired twerp before him.

"Beep bop bob bop?" Boyfriend asked.

"Don't you badmouth me young mister!" Bambi snarled. "Dave sent me to get you!"

"Why?" Chipped in Girlfriend, who was also there.

Resisting the urge to tear them apart himself, Bambi sighed through his teeth. "You disrupt the 3D Realm!"

"Really?" Girlfriend looked to her partner, then back. "We're just existing. Just having a good time."

"Oh yeah? That can end real fast." Bambi pointed out to the distant sky. "Out there are a being-" fuck. "Out there is a being that can do bad things to you! Really bad! I don't like you, but you also save Dave once, so I will save you!"

Boyfriend blew a raspberry. "Beep boop bop a dop dop bop."

"I don't care if you beat it before, it kills people for fun!" Bambi screamed. "Let's go!"

"Boop."

"A rap battle? Now? Seriously ?"

"Don't worry, I can conjure the perfect tune for this one." Girlfriend said, kicking her legs and smiling giddily. "Seriously, we can take care of ourselves."

"Not on my watch!" Bambi sighed heavily. "You cause disruption to the 3D Realm! Someone gonna notice, and I don't want that!"

"Bopadedop." Boyfriend made a rude gesture with both of his hands, before twirling his microphone.

Oh, you asked for it!

"It is happening again." The Outsider whispered, standing tall, but not proudly.

What is? Bambi wanted to spit in this man's face. I just remembered another piece to my story!

"Precisely." The Outsider nodded. "You have amnesia... common, but not typically permanent."

Jeez, thanks .

"Go, now." He beckoned. "If you continue away from me, you will find a set of train tracks. Follow them, then stop for a rest. You will get to where you need to be. You will remember what you need to know."

...

Ok .

Bambi turned around, and floated away. Nice talk, you .

"I'm happy to be of assistance to you, you wonderful little creature."

Oh shut up. You're only trying to butter up to me, or however that metaphor goes!

The Outsider didn't respond. When Bambi twisted his head back, The Outsider was gone. Good. Bambi never liked that guy anyways, even if he came from another world. Or, universe, as the people on the internet and in the movies might say. Was there a multiverse out there? Fuck, Bambi hoped not. It was too existential to think about.

The snow was coming down harder now, in bigger flakes, in larger quantities. Like a proper snowstorm. It didn't comfort him either way. It made him shiver. It made him hug himself more. He couldn't stop himself from shivering. His teeth clattered, and the grass blended with the sky.

And there was mist.

And Bambi didn't know how long he floated, before he spotted metal.

Train tracks, just like The Outsider said.

Quickly, Bambi floated alongside the tracks, keeping up with them. Desperately, he hastened his floating, until he was zooming above snow-covered concrete.

He almost missed it, but in his flight, he passed by something that made him retrace his steps.

By the tracks, there was a bench, and sitting in it was a man. A man with short brown hair, a blue shirt, and metal prosthetics for the bottom half of his legs. But like everyone else in this wonderland, there was something seriously wrong with him. Through his chest was a metal pole, slowly oozing out red blood. He was shackled in place. Worst of all, he had a completely blank expression, unable to react to everything around him.

Bambi sat next to this man, shivering like a mad dog. You ... he thought. Why... why are you here, best friend?

This man, in blue, bleeding... he slowly turned his head to Bambi. His eyes, like everyone else, were black. Black, with cyan pupils. An empty expression on his face.

Why are you here? Bambi repeated. And why are you wet ?

This man, despite not being all mentally there, slowly opened his mouth to speak. "This place... is different... for each person." He said. "What do you see...?"

...

I see snow. Ungodly amounts of snow. It's a fucking snow storm . Bambi couldn't feel bitter around this person. What about you? Why are you here? ...do you have a title here?

"I am... The Clone." This man said, his voice as empty and catatonic as his soul. "I see rain... endless downpours. Unrelenting... hurtful..." a single tear streaked down his cheek. "I was promised life... but I was betrayed. And now I am here..."

Bambi wanted, oh so badly, to wipe away the tear on The Clone's face. But he was too cold to do so, so he didn't.

I'm so sorry...

"You... don't need to apologize." The Clone murmured. "You didn't know..."

But I could have done something!

"...that is true... but you did all you could. You... didn't know." The edge of his lip curled into a brief smile. "I appreciate the company..."

...I'm glad to be with you.

But I'm not happy that you're here! You shouldn't be here! I shouldn't be here! I don't even know how this happened to me, but I'm so so close! I can almost feel it!

...

"Who's gonna save me?" The Clone whimpered.

...

"Who's gonna save me?"

"Who's gonna save me...?"

"Hey fucker! I'm back!"

Oh! Oh! I remembered something! Bambi perked up. The Outsider was right! I'm remembering what happened!

"Do... you now?" The Clone deadpanned, but the flickers in his eyes showed that he was curious.

Yes! Now shut up! Time for you to hear what happened!

Bambi smashed through the glass containing Bandu's time sphere, which, allegedly, meant every minute in the sphere translated to one hour outside. Basically, it was a cheap way to make time pass faster. Bambi however wasn't gonna let it happen. Boyfriend may have won the previous battle, but the war was still happening. And now Bandu was part of it. Great.

Bambi landed back in his spot. Bandu, who was orbiting around Boyfriend, suddenly looked very sad. The sky surrounding them had began as a cheery green with phones, but now was darker, paler, and the phones were broken. Bambi growled at this, but kept his eyes on Boyfriend and Bandu. There was a song playing, but since Bambi apparently showed up to ruin their fun, the song took on a much more serious tune.

And since he appeared in the middle of a rap battle, Bambi began to sing.

He sung, baring his teeth, letting his anger and frustration take control. Boyfriend sung back, because that's how rap battles work. Bambi replied, and Boyfriend did the same. Bandu, not wanting to be forgotten, intruded on their singing through his tears.

But the tune playing got more and more intense, and Bambi's anger grew greater and greater. Just as the beat to the tune dropped, Bambi was screaming nonsense and throwing his hands in every direction possible. It proved to be the last remaining source of his fury, because after this, and Boyfriend's response, the three fell silent.

The tune kept playing, reflecting the end of their battle. It got quieter, softer, until it came to an end...

...and then Bambi heard an instrument not typically heard in rap battles.

Bambi heard a piano.

One tiny note.

Played again, and again.

"Are you fucking serious? It's not over?!" He spat, glaring at Girlfriend.

She shrugged. "The battle only ends when the song I make for it ends. Trust me, sometimes they last an hour." She smirked. "But we manage. We always manage."

" You manage! And meanwhile your boyfriend has to sing for an hour straight!" Bambi screeched, gesturing to the twerp he was talking about. "Another reason you coming back with me! We can't stay here! Especially not in this weird bubble!"

"Guys..." Bandu whispered.

"We didn't make the rules, buckaroo." Girlfriend practically sneered.

"Beep bop bup." Boyfriend added.

"Oh shut up!" Bambi didn't know how hard he could clench his fists before they exploded. "Really! Shut up for once! It's good for you!"

"Guys." Bandu repeated, his voice louder.

"Bop." Boyfriend claimed.

"GUYS!!!" Bandu shouted.

Bambi, Boyfriend, and Girlfriend all whipped to the source of this shout. "What?!" They all blurted.

Bandu pointed to the space between them. "The minions are gone." He stated.

"There were minions?" Bambi said.

"Yes, there were minions. You let them in when you crashed here. Pretty rude if you ask me." Bandu deadpanned.

It was here that Bambi noticed this phone-addicted weirdo was no longer tearing up. In fact, he looked like he was anticipating something. Not anything good, by the way his eyes were slightly wide, and his frown wrinkled. Bambi exhaled, and tried to remember the breathing exercises Dave had taught him.

His body didn't relax. Something wasn't right here, and it wasn't just the absence of the minions, or the continuous droning of that blasted piano. Bambi's eyes bounced around the background of the realm. The washed-out green was darkening more and more, turning black, then... red? And the phones in the background were developing more cracks.

A screech rang out through the 3D Realm as bright crimson tentacles burst out of the phones, curling and snaking around in jagged patterns, like twisted worms.

The shape things waiting in the wings , Bambi remembered. Is that them screaming?

The piano's droning got louder and louder, and Bambi noticed something else. He was sweating. His shapes were lightly shivering. Since when did he get so unnerved and afraid? Since when was his heart beating this fast, if not from the anger of earlier? What ever happened to that anger?

Everyone was quiet. Too quiet.

Bambi's eyes met with Bandu's. This miniature god of chaos still retained that expression of anticipation, and his hands were close to his chest. Then his eyes widened.

"I just remembered." He said. "The minions gave me something."

Bambi inched a little closer. "What is it? Why is everything red?" You don't... you don't think that ...

Bandu dug one of his hands into a hidden pocket in his shirt, and pulled out what looked to be a tiny piece of paper. "Dear... Bandu..." he read off. "Expunged... is... not... happy... you... woke... it... up. It... is... coming... very... very... soon. Run... before... it... is... too... late..." he turned the piece of paper over. "Oh, there's a doodle on the back. It's a drawing of me and you!"

" Why and how did that minion know I'd be here?" Bambi asked.

"The minion who wrote this is Clairvoyant Jones." Bandu answered. "It doesn't have an actual name, but I named it that because they watch too many Indiana Jones things and also predict the future. It's scary."

...ok. Makes sense. Bambi's eyes narrowed. "And how long ago did you get that message?"

"I dunno, like, a minute ago?" Bandu managed a shrug. He crumbled the note into a ball and threw it over his shoulders.

Bambi was almost dumbfounded. "Bandu." He put his hands together. "If you show us that note earlier we could have leaved an hour ago. Why were you bothering Expunged...?"

"Because this guy is here!" Bandu chirped, pinching Boyfriend's hair. "I figured my bro would want to know! I didn't know it was asleep, it almost never naps!"

"Bandu. Bandu, Expunged resents Boyfriend." Bambi said. "It's gonna kill him. That is why I am here, to bring him home."

Bandu stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry. "Bah. Boyfriend said it himself, he can handle it. And don't you worry about me and you! What's Expunged gonna do to us, hmm? Poison us? Make us run the fitness pacer test thing?"

As much as Bambi wanted to deny this, he couldn't ignore the dread in his heart. "Bandu, I-"

But he was cut off by the loud, unpredictable sound of a violin on its highest string. It was so loud and high-pitched, that it sounded like screaming. Horrible, horrible screaming, that ruptured the sky of the 3D Realm and made the glass of Bandu's phones shatter. And it wasn't just screaming. The violins were almost like sirens, or alarms, droning with the piano that now matched the pace of a heartbeat.

Girlfriend, ever strong, now had wide eyes and a terrified frown. Not even she had a witty comment on this situation. Was her track malfunctioning? Or was it all part of the plan? The noise was definitely too much for Bambi. So loud, he thought he heard the sound of glass shattering again, followed by static in the song.

Bambi looked to Bandu for answers, but was instead met with an expression never seen before on Bandu. He looked... flabbergasted. Shocked, yet uncomfortable, yet some other emotion that couldn't be pinpointed.

Bambi looked to Girlfriend, and he saw something new.

Floating behind them in staggering heights, with its shapes scattering and reforming, was Expunged. Its iconic grin was there, but its hat slightly overshadowed its eyes, making it more menacing than normal. Bambi couldn't tell what it was feeling. Anger, possibly. Boyfriend and Girlfriend weren't supposed to be here, which was why Bambi came. Did Expunged know that? Bambi couldn't tell if it did or not. If one thing, he himself felt terrified to be in its presence.

Bambi looked the beast right in the eye, and it glanced back at him, if but for a moment. It was enough to send waves of dread through him. He didn't know what it was thinking. It wasn't even looking at Boyfriend! Instead, Expunged's glare went somewhere else, somewhere beyond. Piercing, unrelenting.

Then Expunged floated a little closer to the group, and it began to open its mouth... to sing? To talk?

It might have been the track that Girlfriend was playing.

It might have been the broken phones in the background.

It might have been the sweat rolling down Bandu's face.

It might have been the wind.

The wind was strong today.

"So then... you sung together. And after the song... you went home... and went to sleep." The Clone assumed. "Right?"

Bambi's thoughts were caught in a spiderweb.

...

No .

"No?"

Bambi shook his head. That's not what happened .

"It's not?"

I just told you it's not! Bambi wanted to swing and punch this man, but decided not to. I don't know what happened! But it didn't end with me going home! I know it didn't!

"Hmm..." The Clone put a bloodied finger to his lips. "So then... what else could have happened?"

I don't know! I don't know! Bambi wanted to scream. Just leave me alone!

No response.

Just silence between the two.

...and the roaring of the blizzard.

The Clone moved his hand to his chin. "What else could have happened..." he murmured. "You're here for a reason. You are a victim."

Yeah, The Outsider explained that to me some time ago .

"Have you noticed that you've been talking through your thoughts this whole time?"

...

... I haven't really acknowledged it myself .

But now that Bambi thought about it, it made the chill of the wind cut deeper into his frostbitten skin. Being dead... didn't really phase him, until this moment. When he noticed he couldn't breathe. Or, better, the exact specification of the feeling in his chest.

I can't breathe, and it's really fucking cold .

Bambi looked down at his hands. His skin was red and covered in dots of ice, and blisters. Chilblains? Was that what these were called? His fingernails were bleeding, and the flesh between his fingers stuck together in delicate strands like melty cheese. He touched his face, and pulled away. His flesh was dripping in slow, small clumps.

So then... why do my lungs burn?

"Your lungs burn?" The Clone clarified.

Burning like a chemical reaction. Like fire. Like someone poked holes in them.

"Hmm." The Clone's weepy black eyes blinked. "Yeah. I don't know... what it could be..."

He returned to staring ahead, into total oblivion. Bambi, having given up on solving the mystery, decided to align his gaze with his friend's.

And the two sat there together.

And then something dawned on Bambi.

And then Bambi screamed.

Chapter Text

Always this same dream.

A blue sky, fresh grass, and crisp air with the sun beating down.

Corn plants swaying in the wind, recovered from the winter within record time.

Humans in black and gray slinking through the foliage.

The old, powerful weight of a mere pistol.

Gunshots.

Shouting.

Pain, pain, pain.

Collapsing on the cold ground.

A slow darkness as everything blurs together.

Nothingness, weightless.

A light.

A figure.

A speech.

Burning, screaming.

Always this same dream.

Dale shifted in his somewhat-conscious state. His mind was just beginning to wake, but his body felt heavy. The dream always ended in excruciating heat, and he always woke up to the bittersweet coldness of his room. Not this time. He felt warm, enclosed. He could hear the gentle pulse of a heartbeat, and feel the rise and fall of something soft.

Dale's eyelids twitched and squeezed, and slowly, he gained the strength to peel them open. It was dark, but there were hanging nightlights around. It wasn't cold at all, nor claustrophobic from hanging meat. His eyes trailed to himself and his side. Suddenly, everything made sense.

He was in the hold of Expunged. It was more of her holding him close to her body, and a blanket draped across the two of them. Dale had his smaller, human-sized blankie for safety, but he had to admit that this gesture was sweet. Expunged had the kindness to bring him into a much more warmer, comfortable form of sleep. It made him smile. While he couldn't tell if she was still asleep, he knew he had to get up.

For today was a very special day...

The massive being encompassing him shifted ever so slightly. The hand nudged against him slid out of the way, its fingers stretching. He turned to watch as Expunged's jaws parted, and a loud, deep yawn echoed through the room. Her head moved up, her face turned to his. Her eyes were droopy and had a slight spotting of mold on the bottom lids. A warm smile made its way onto her lips.

"Good morning, Dale..." she purred, a vibration beginning to emit from her body. "Did you sleep well?"

Dale nodded. His eyes blinked a few times to help him further wake up. "Myeah..."

"Good, good." She gently grazed her finger over his hair. "You marked today as a special day on the calendar."

If Dale could purr, he would be right at this moment. Not only from the pets, but Expunged's thoughtfulness to remember Dale's note. "Today is Christmas Eve!" And I'm going to show you how it's done!

The Red Chaos's smile grew. "An Earth holiday, yes? The eve of the birthday of an ordinary being such as yourself, who, throughout time, was painted as something grander and grander." She hummed. "And now this set of days is associated with a fat man running at speeds that shouldn't be possible..."

"Yeah... that's it. But there's more!" He shouted. "This is a time where relatives come together! We eat, we give each other gifts, we celebrate!"

"I know, I know. I ate everyone at a party celebrating this once. Speaking of which..."

Dale clung to the mattress as Expunged removed the blanket covering both of them, pushing it to the side he wasn't on. He watched as she sat up, stretched her hands above her head, and yawned again. She snapped her fingers, and suddenly, two minions darted towards them from beyond the bed. Dale kicked off his own blanket and pushed himself up. The minions approached him with a plate of pancakes and bacon, decorated with syrup.

"Thank you..." Dale whispered, taking the plate in his hands. "Merry Christmas Eve."

The minions exchanged confused glances, but did not ask nor say anything. They floated away, back to wherever they came from. Dale looked down at his breakfast. It smelled sweet and bready. He took the fork in his other hand and began to eat, cutting off chunks of the pancake and stuffing it in his mouth like a starving child. Which... he was. He was a child, and very, very hungry.

Around the time he finished the first pancake and half of the second, Expunged spoke up. "What do you plan on doing for this holiday?" She asked. "Decorating? Cooking? Being with family?"

A good question. Dale hadn't really thought about how he'd celebrate this day. "Dunno..." he mumbled. "But I wanna show you it. You and all of my new siblings."

Expunged purred to herself, her smile grew. "Alright, then. If you insist on celebrating with all of my children, then you will have to invite them yourself." She said. "Don't worry, I shall provide you with their addresses, and a teleportation door."

"Why can't you do it?" Dale inquired. You're their mom, after all...

She slowly shook her head, her smile faded slightly. "I'm afraid a great handful of them are either rebellious, inattentive, or just don't like me. However, I'm sure they'll listen to you. You're a bright and cunning being~"

And weak, he added bitterly in his thoughts. Nonetheless, her words gave him a bit of confidence, and he nodded. Shoving the rest of his breakfast in his mouth, he stumbled onto his legs. He was technically in his pajamas, but he didn't feel like changing into something more professional or festive. With ease, he balanced himself on one hand, and used the other to summon himself a hoodie. He slipped it on. It was a deep, pale blue, his favorite color.

Expunged soon reached down and gave to him an electronic tablet, which, thankfully, was small enough to fit in his pocket and advanced enough to follow him around. He skimmed the list with tired eyes. Some of the people he recognized, but others he did not. It wasn't a terribly long list, but it was still overwhelming to look at. Did he really have to bring them all together? It felt like such a big task for someone so small.

"PS: you don't have to go get Bumbo or Dingle. Bumbo doesn't know that I created him, and Dingle is off with xir own family." Expunged noted. "The door I'll provide you with is right next to the one leading here. You'll notice it right away because it's green."

"No Bumbo or..." that's a slur! "Take the door. Got it." He nodded a few times. "Do I just bring them here? Your room?"

"Nah. Once you leave, that door will open to the living room." She crooned. "Now, are you going to go or what?"

Dale laughed. The tablet floated beside him as he walked across the bed. Sure enough, from his perch at the edge, there was a green door. He remembered reading that this door was actually the fire exit, but obviously nobody started fires in the House of Madness dangerous enough to warrant an evacuation. He hopped off the edge and glided down. He felt like a little bird, floating down. Even when his hands touched the floor and he trotted forward.

"I'll be back!" Dale shouted.

"Take care, and be careful."

He smiled and hummed to himself. He reached to the door with a leg, and upon opening it, was greeted with a gust of chilly wind. He stepped through, and shut the door behind himself. I really need to get a warmer coat...

The realm was almost the same shade as his hoodie. The sky was dotted with clouds. The air cold and dead. The atmosphere void of anything cheery or hopeful. He was simply hovering in empty space, but he could see a modest house not too far away. One glance at his tablet told him everything.

So this is Brobgonal and Barbu's house, Dale thought. 'Pun said those two are her first and second creations ever! They must be skeletons, or wireframes, or maybe even ghosts... only one way to find out.

With a little hesitance, Dale wandered closer and closer to the house. Its outside was painted gray, with white, diamond-shaped outlines. There was a porch, and on it was a hanging bench. A few wilted potted plants sat out by the stairs and smaller ones in the windows. It was very peaceful for its location, and what it harbored inside.

He didn't bother walking up the porch's steps, which were out of place in the 3D Realm. His hand balled into a fist, and before he could even knock on the door, it opened to a human. The human in question was taller than him, with smooth, deep red hair and fair skin. Her eyes were a bright red, and a halo of the same color floated above her head. She wore a purple shirt and denim jeans, her digitigrade legs ended in singular pointed claws.

She gazed down at Dale with a hard stare, making him shrink back. "I'm Dale!" He squawked. "I uh... I'm looking for a Brobgonal, and a Barbu..."

The human's eyes flickered with confusion, but she nonetheless retreated back into the house. He heard nothing, just silence. From what he knew of the two, Brobgonal was a nefarious serial killer. Able to make use of anything to get the job done. Barbu on the other hand stood off to the side and watched Brobgonal like a curious spectator. It was a curious little duo, but he had no idea why this random lady was with them. He didn't want to question the minds of two ancient peoples anyways.

And then, from the door, came the duo. The shorter, green-wearing maiman was Brobgonal. He had a cigar in one hand, and swishing behind him was a tail with a short fin, almost like an eel. Adorning his face was a grin full of sharp, golden teeth. Barbu, who was blue and thin, floated. His feet more so resembled flippers, and his pointed buck teeth poked out from his mouth.

"So you're the new kid, hmm?" Brobgonal hummed in a gravely voice, raising an eyebrow. "I expected another abomination, not an orphan."

"He doesn't mean that..." Barbu chimed in.

The oldest of the duo cast a stink-eye to the other, before turning to Dale. "Tommy says you're inviting us to a party. Is that true?"

So that's who that lady is. Dale nodded for the whatever-th time. "Yes, yes! A Christmas party!"

"Like the comic about skeletons?" Barbu questioned.

"No, no, this one's gonna be better." Brobgonal shot back. "We're invested, kid. Who else are you invitin'?"

"Many others, other creations Expunged made." Dale answered. He had begun to walk back to the door. "Like uh... Hadie?"

"Ah. Hadie." Brobgonal smirked. "You go on ahead, I'll stay behind and help ol' chippy with the big scary gay spider."

Dale didn't see what was so bad about a giant spider, but he said nothing. Barbu seemed to know what to do. He approached the green door, opened it, and disappeared once he passed through. Dale turned to the smaller being beside himself. Brobgonal took a puff of his cigar, and blew out a breath of smoke.

"So yer lookin' for Hadie." Brobgonal said. "That son of a gun lives in Hell's Spiderweb. Hope you like realm-scarring monsters, because Hadie here sure 's one."

At his words, suddenly it clicked. According to Expunged, Hadie was infamously dangerous, and was not to be interacted with. But then why were they on the list? If Expunged didn't want Hadie, she'd say so. But she didn't. It left Dale confused, and the shifting skies around him didn't help one bit.

"Tell you what? I'll save you some time getting there."

A hand tugged at Dale's hoodie, and he suddenly found himself being dragged into a rift. Instantaneously, he was pulled into another section of the 3D Realm. A section where the sky was a dull, fading beige with gray slashes. Strands of black threads were before him, making a mess of a maze. The air here was warmer.

"Is this..." Dale's voice trailed off.

"Hadie's home? You betcha." Brobgonal answered. He brought his hands to his mouth, and yelled. "HEY! BITCH! COME OUT YA BIG UGLY BASTARD! IT'S ME!"

Dale side-eyed the smaller being. "I don't think that's gonna convince it to come out..."

"Nuh uh. You've never met Hadie, so, therefore, you're wrong." Brobgonal smirked back.

Before any retorts could be said, Dale heard a growl. A deep, angry snarl, that echoed from the web. He swore the 3D Realm flickered a deep scarlet for a moment. Within seconds, a new entity had made itself known, revealing itself from the web and letting out a deafened roar that made Dale flinch back. The creature he was witness to was absolutely huge, with six limbs, six eyes (one missing), and mandibles on the sides of its fluffy head. Its hat had a wide brim, with three points. The monster also wore a deep red vest, with a brooch resembling a phoenix.

Terrified, trembling, bending his knees, Dale gulped. "Hi..."

Hadie lowered its head to stare at him directly. Its many eyes narrowed, its pupils pierced through him. "And who is this? Who have you brought with you, leech?" It spat.

Brobgonal, who wasn't afraid in the slightest, chuckled. "This 's Dale." He said. "He's inviting ya to some Cmas party, and same goes for all of the Devil's other kids."

Why would you call her that? She isn't evil, thought Dale. His frown dropped as Hadie gazed at him. "Yeah, that's what I'm doing!" He peeped. "You don't have to come if you don't want to, but i-"

Once again, he was given no time to react. Gigantic fingers wrapped around his body, gently securing him in place within the hand's palm. He was frozen, unable to react, as he was pulled away. As he was brought up, up, up to the monster's face. In front of it, Dale was reminded of the first time Expunged did this to him. He remembered her gently petting him, adoring him, but there was malice in Hadie's red eyes. He could almost see his own reflection. His heart was beating fast in his chest, it almost hurt.

And then, Hadie smiled, showing off rows of sharp teeth. "Aw, what a cute little thing you are." It crooned. "You know, I would've declined and eaten you, but how can I say no to a face like yours?"

Dale blinked. "What?"

"Don't worry, little guy. You're safe with me around!" Hadie chirped. "In fact, I'll help you! Who else are we getting? The Trixies are tucked at home, yes? Lure is too, that I know. Are we bringing the wasp to this celebration, or is he too far gone?"

"Slow down, slow down!" Dale squeaked, suddenly remembering he needed to breathe. "You... want to help me?"

"Hadie's more than meet's the eye, kid!" Shouted Brobgonal from below.

The enormous spider creature chittered a response. "That's right, and I want to help you, human. Dale, was it? I know where you can find your next free-roaming target. She dwells in an area known as the Board Game Isles. Bandu lives there, if I remember correctly. If you find the Goddess of Discord, you will also find the Goddess of Reddit."

"I don't know what that means..." Dale whispered.

"Eris. You will find Eris there, and her ant-shaped companion." Hadie deadpanned. "Now, I would go with you, but I don't want to be scratched and yelled at. I'm already going to get glares just by being at this party... why did you invite me, child? Do you know who I am? What I am capable of? What I can do to y-"

"Hadie that's frowned upon in fifteen districts, let the boy do what he's here for." Brobgonal butted in, still somewhere below. "Let 'im go. I'll escort you to the house of contemporary insanity."

Hadie sighed heavily, and Dale got a blast of hot air in his face. "Fiiiiiine. What are we going to do then? Sit around? Talk? The last time you and me talked was during the Eclipse, and the Eclipse was not a fun time for anyone."

In the books of 3D history Dale read, there was an event called the Eclipse. He... didn't remember all that happened during it, but it was one bad event, then another, then another. Calamity after calamity, things just went in a downward spiral, until it ended out of the blue. The 3D Realm had gone black for a solid thirty seconds. There was no sun in this dimension, but from that description alone, the people were right to call this series of events the Eclipse.

The fingers trapping Dale released, but he did not fall as Hadie moved past him with graceful speed. He turned around, and watched as it disappeared into a rift Brobgonal created. Dale was alone once again. With the first ever 3D resident to exist. How fun, but at least he'd get Eris and the other one, and return home. The two were the only other people that he'd need to find, as the others were with Expunged.

Sighing, Dale floated down to Brobgonal. "Can you take us there?"

"Where?" Clarified Brobgonal, who was now casting him a confused expression.

"The uh, Board Game place." Dale answered. "The place where Eris is."

He could see, in real time, as the question registered in the brain of the ancient being. Then Brobgonal nodded. "Mkay, but don't expect me to do this all the time, aight?"

Instead of opening a portal, he snapped his fingers. Dale shut his eyes tight as colors flashed in his faces, as sounds he couldn't explain screamed all around him. It only lasted a moment. It wasn't really... anything to wince or prepare for, and yet Dale did. The sky was now green, but there were no phones in the background. Only apples the hue and shine of gold.

"Is-s Eris based on that one Greek god?" Asked Dale, feeling as if he had some of the puzzle pieces fit together.

Brobgonal gave him a thumbs-side-ways. "Eh. Depends on your theory if Expunged knew about 'em or if Eris inspired their folktale."

That's... fucked up to think about. Didn't this happen with that one time travel movie? Dale shivered. "So where is she anyways?"

He could see the Realm shifting colors. The green was darkening, becoming a deep gray, while the apples stayed the same. His fingers curled up, as if bracing himself for whatever abomination he'd see next. He didn't actually know what he'd see next. A perfectly normal human? A monster? Something worthy of being called a god?

It didn't matter. A small figure half his height descended from above as still as a character render, until she was before him. She wore a billowing, plum purple cloak, with a hood shadowing her head and face. Her hands together at her chest, wearing black gloves, no legs visible whatsoever. There were tiny dots of light in the void of her hood.

The dots blinked. An exclamation point manifested next to her, and he heard a bell ring. This symbol just as quickly became a question mark. Dale glanced at Brobgonal, but the smaller being wasn't fazed at all. Her silent gaze only highlighted the awkwardness between them all.

"Hi..." said Dale. "You Eris?"

The hooded woman nodded, and a chime Dale had heard in commentary videos rang out from her body. "She can't talk, but she can do all those sound effects and particle things." Brobgonal explained. "Dale here is inviting you to a party, fair lady. Speakin' of which, where is that optimal figure of a girlfriend you have?"

Eris excitedly clapped her hands together. Guess she's hooked, thought Dale. A few golden sparkles came off her body, only to vanish. She pulled out a phone from behind her back, and furiously typed on it. More golden sparkles manifested and disappeared around her. The question mark had exploded into hearts that blew away on imaginary winds.

"You're gonna love Antonio." Brobgonal said, turning to Dale. "She's no dancer, but she is the second angriest person I know."

Dale's eyes narrowed. "Who is the first?"

Brobgonal chuckled and took another puff of his cigar. "Barbu on a bad day."

I can kind of see that. Being happy, nervous, and pathetic for that long can also make you have the exact amount of anger, he thought. He noticed that Eris had stopped typing on her phone. The particles surrounding her were no more. He also noticed the sky changing once again, becoming a grayish blue, with mushrooms now tagging alongside the golden apples. From the earlier conversation, Dale could infer that this was likely the Antonio Brobgonal mentioned.

Suddenly, a loud rumble roared throughout the 3D Realm. Like the noises jet fighters made while dancing in the skies of Earth. The realm flickered gray for a split second, and in a moment, a massive spaceship appeared above. That was the best word Dale could use to describe what he was seeing. It was oval and flat in shape, with blade-like wings, several windows, and metallic tube tendrils that flailed in the breeze.

From the underside of the ship, Dale saw a port opening. In a beam of neon green light, a figure was transported down to Eris's side at a speed that rivaled the spaceship's own velocity. When the light faded, and the vessel boomed off without sending anyone back due to the force, the figure revealed herself. Brobgonal was right in a sense. The atypical resembled a cartoon, anthropomorphic ant. Her body was entirely a rotten, fruity red. She wore round shoes and her eyes were white with black pupils. Draped on her body was a white fur coat, around her neck was a fluffy, light blue scarf with many eyespots, yet Dale had the suspicion the scarf was alive.

Antonio, in all of her glory, was here. The last person he needed to hunt for outside had come to him, and now it was time to go home. The others were waiting, and they still had much to do.

"What was THAT?!" Dale blurted, feeling as if he witnessed something he shouldn't have. Why do I have the feeling you're important?

"Delphinus." Replied Antonio. "I was informed you are hosting a party?"

"A party?" He gawked. He quickly nodded. "Oh, y-yes! Yes! A party!" He cleared his throat. "I, Dale, f-formally invite you both to a Christmas party at the House of Madness."

Eris and Antonio exchanged glances, then held hands. A heart-shaped particle appeared between them. "I don't know what a Christmas is, but I am intrigued, young child." Antonio mused, a smile creeping onto her face. "Is the 'House of Madness' what you call your home? Who else will be there? And why is a war criminal standing next to you...?"

"Don't mind me, I'm just your ticket into the House of Madness." Brobgonal snickered.

"I see..."

Dale didn't answer that question. He didn't feel like it, and would rather have it answered with show instead of tell. He stepped to the side, and watched as Brobgonal pulled off that magic trick again. A rift opened, catching Antonio off-guard, but the ant-shaped being shrugged it off and entered the portal with Eris. Dale and Brobgonal followed swiftly. Being swaddled with the warmth of his home, he let out a sigh of relief. Now all of his energy could be spent here, where it mattered.

The living room in the House of Madness wasn't the same as one that'd be found on Earth. The room was huge to accommodate for the large size Expunged preferred to be. There was a couch against the wall, which was big enough for Hadie to sit comfortably in. A small TV sat on the mantle opposite of the couch, which also had tables and chairs on it that were human-sized. Near the couch was another jumbo-sized piece of furniture, this one being a chair with a nightstand beside it, holding a lamp. The carpet had hues of gold on the tips of its gray shag. There was a stain on the carpet too, but Dale couldn't make out what the splatter-shaped thing actually came from.

Brobgonal eagerly floated over to Barbu, who was sitting next to Hadie on the couch. Also on the couch was the duo of Algebraicaitrix and Butchatrix, and an additional Kirby Dave (or as Dale liked to call him, Derby). Clinging to the ceiling was Lure, an anglerfish-like creature with insect legs in place of fins, a scorpion's stinger in place of a tail, and its lure was a maiman on a noose. Lure's lure bobbled down to beside Hadie, seemingly trying to blend in with the others.

Dale turned to Antonio, but instead of a neutral or excited face, he smelled fear. The antennae of the being straightened. A shiver ran through her. "Oh... oh no..." she whispered. "I can't be here..."

"What's wrong?" Asked Dale. "A-are you scared?"

If he could smell her fear, then the others could as well. One by one, the figures on the couch turned to stare at Antonio. The Trix duo all stood up. Brobgonal shook his head but still smirked. Hadie, however, smiled. A wide smile full of sharp teeth, not too different from Expunged.

"Hello Eris." Hadie chittered in a sing-song voice. "Whatcha bring with you?"

Eris, in response, gave Hadie the middle finger. She floated in front of Antonio and spread her arms out, shaking her head. A peculiar symbol manifested above her. It depicted a humanoid being taking a bite out of an ant-shaped thing, with a red X over it. This symbol flashed a few times.

"Ooh..." Dale whispered. "They want to eat you..."

Antonio shot him a glare. "Child! I should have never put my faith in you!" She hissed under her breath. "Was this your intention?"

Before he could say anything, the room vibrated slightly. Hadie had stood up. Its smile was gone. "Calm the fuck down, Antonio." It snarled. "Yes everyone here hates you because you're 'the 3D Elon Musk' ...whatever that means. No, we're not going to eat you."

"I am!" Brobgonal shouted.

"No the fuck you aren't you little bitch." Hadie snapped to the eldest. It turned back to Antonio. "Just calm down, sit somewhere, and relax..."

Its voice trailed off as it became lost in thought. It sat right back down, sinking slightly into the couch. Dale hadn't even realized his body had tensed up during the conversation. He didn't know why. He wasn't the scared one here, Antonio was! He was supposed to be organizing this whole thing.

The image above Eris vanished, and she turned to hold two of her partner's four hands. It seemed to help reassure Antonio, but the fear was still very much there. It made Dale feel hungry for something savory, fleshy. Everyone else here probably felt the same way. He promised snacks, and yet there were none.

Deciding to do something about it, Dale trotted forward to the non-green door on the side. He opened it, but did not close it so he didn't lose his way to the room where the party was. The hallways were small, narrow, single-file sized. It once again made Dale want to freeze in place, but he didn't allow claustrophobia to consume him. He went left, and scoured the halls for his door.

There were no minions out and about, which was odd, as they usually roamed doing housework. While he did see some familiar doors, none of them were his own. One door in particular caught his attention. A droplet with a pencil over it. This was the room of someone he barely knew, and this someone was slowly losing their memory each and every day.

Left in front of the room was a small doll, which peacefully rested against the door. It looked eerily similar to Expunged when she took on her true form. Even as Dale approached it, he felt as if it were silently judging him. He said no remarks to it. He gently pushed it off to the side, not bothering to set it upright when it toppled over.

Dale barged into a gray room, decorated with a simple bed, a closet, and a nightstand. Dead center in the room was a man. Floating an inch or so off the ground, wearing blue, stiff as a statue, with no face whatsoever. This was RECOVERED_PROJECT, better known as REC.  Yet from what Dale heard, their name used to be something else. Something human.

"Hey REC..." Dale said, raising one of his hands to wave. "Today is Christmas Eve. I'm hosting a party in the living room, if you wanna join..."

It took REC around ten or twelve seconds to respond. They dipped their head, their voice was soft and sad. "I don't remember the last time I celebrated that."

Dale smiled. "Well... you can now!"

He gestured for the being to come out, and to his delight, that was exactly what happened. REC inched forward. Bit by bit, until they were in front of Dale. When he moved to the left, they entered the narrow hallway and turned their head, examining their environment. He noticed them shiver a little. Perhaps they were claustrophobic as well.

"Which way is it? Down there?" REC clarified.

"Down the hall." He confirmed. "The living room. The one with a couch on it. I left it slightly open."

They nodded. "Thank... you."

The two parted ways. Dale closed REC's door, and continued through the hallways. REC was a little weird. They mostly stayed in their room, unless something big was happening. Like Expunged temporarily dying, or that kid who wandered down one day, or the Lord of the 3D Realm visiting. Dale remembered meeting the Lord. She was very old, but sweet and caring. She came to collect REC, actually, if he remembered correctly.

And now you're in a guest room, and you're dying, Dale thought as his smile faded. She arrived at the front door of the House of Madness around a week ago. She had retired because of her age and lingering illness, and instead of going to a hospital like a normal person, she ventured to the most dangerous part of the known Realm. For some reason, Expunged had a great affection for the Lord. Dale suspected she fell in love. Why else would The Red Chaos spare such easy prey? Either way, the ex-Lord was now bedridden in this very house. If Dale remembered correctly, Badtrix was keeping her company.

The sounds of skittering and squeaking made Dale come to a halt in the hallway. He recognized those sounds anywhere. "Hello? Minions?" He called.

From the doors surrounding him, tiny figures emerged at each convenience. Due to their small size, and the limited access of the hallway, the minions stood both on the floor and ceiling. Dale chuckled gently upon seeing them, and they smiled back at him. He never told anyone in the House of Madness about Santa hats, and yet these tiny beings were wearing them. Each and every one, all in different colors.

"Yes?" One of the minions peeped.

"Hi..." Dale murmured. "Can... you guys do me a favor? Please?"

"Of course!" Chirped a second.

"How may we help?" Asked a third, who was simultaneously playing a game of jacks.

It's not like you have a choice whether to say yes or no. His finger tapped on the floor as he thought of how to word his request. "Expunged's family is in the living room. Can some of you get them some meaty snacks? The rest of you can help me with something different later."

Around half of the minions gave him firm nods, then ran off ahead to do their task. The other half stood around, and moved out of the way as Dale stepped forward. Snacks were only part of the plans he had for today. He still needed to make a meal for everyone at dinner, but considering how fast food could be made in the 3D Realm, he decided to wait on that. He hopped and skipped, giggling to himself. This is going pretty well! I hope it stays this way!

His joy came to a pause when he suddenly, and abruptly, reached the very end of the hall. He didn't remember the end being this close before. He stole a glance behind himself, but the minions were gone. In their place was that same doll, sitting up, staring at him with its button eye. He shivered. Is there something you want..? Dale thought.

The doll did nothing. He blinked, and he flinched when it vanished into nothingness. "Oooook..." he muttered, turning back to the door. "That was weird."

It was almost as weird as this door's symbol being a clock. He didn't remember any of the doors having this symbol, nor did he remember Expunged telling him about a clock room. Or anything related to time. Maybe that one torture room dedicated to exposing cheaters to deadly rays counted as one, but he wasn't sure. Curiosity urged him to turn the knob, but the door was locked.

"Whatcha doin'?"

Now that Dale heard this voice, he recognized it. He turned to meet Brobgonal. The cigar was still in his hand, his sharp golden teeth flashing like daggers. Yet his tail was missing, as if it never existed. Dale exhaled, and slumped.

"Just trying t-to get this open." He mumbled. "You have a k-key?"

Brobgonal snorted. "Do I look like the kind 'f person to have keys to every room in this damned home?"

"Uh-"

"Nope. Don't have any keys. If you wanna enter a room, just break in. Also make sure there isn't a brick wall on the other side, cuz it might just be for nothing." He continued. "Why are you tryin' to bother that guy anyway? They've been sleepin' for thousands of years. Let 'em rest, kiddo."

Dale glanced back at the mysterious door. He sighed. "Ok..."

When Brobgonal turned heel to walk back, Dale followed. His legs trembled with every step. Wanting to ease off the pressure, he decided to float instead. Floating was freeing in a way he couldn't explain, as if it was mystifying. It was something his human mind was still struggling to comprehend, just as he was still getting used to his new body. If he knew the words, he could write something about his experiences and disguise it as a poem.

"You know..." said Brobgonal. "You go through all this effort to get us cramped up in this house for a party."

Dale smiled awkwardly. "Yeah... I'm starting to think it's a bad idea..."

"Oh, no, no. It's a splendid idea. I've been meaning to contact Hellsy for a little bit but I'm old, y'know, so I forget easily. This thing you pulled off helped me remember, so thank you very sincerely." Brobgonal chuckled. "What I mean is... you corral all of us in a room, expecting us to celebrate something most of us have never heard of, and then vanish? It's not that polite if you ask me, kid."

"But I was just leaving to get some snacks for you all!" Dale protested.

"Y'still abandoned us. We're your family now, aren't we?" He said, his tone on the edge of teasing and shaming. "The least you could've done was warn us first."

He could've, but he didn't. Dale suspected it had to do with his past life. He frowned, but did not dip his head. "I'm sorry. I can... stay."

Brobgonal laughed. "After all that? You better! How are we supposed to entertain ourselves? I hope you have some of the minions preparing something for us, because sooner or later that ant guy is going to be eaten alive."

"But I'm family, and so is she!" Dale cried.

"Does it matter? We aren't exactly goody-goody super wonder pals with each other." Brobgonal deadpanned.

He pushed open the door and headed inside, with Dale following close. The living room hadn't really changed. Sure, REC and some minions were now there, but the atmosphere remained the same. Brobgonal joined his partner on the couch. In fact, everyone was suddenly on the couch, even Antonio as she was sniffed by Butchatrix. Hadie was fiddling with a giant remote. Perhaps they all wanted to watch something? Dale floated up, traveling against the corners of the couch, and went across until he was perched on its lower arm.

"Hello." Said Hadie, not batting an eye.

"Hi..." Dale responded. His nails dug into the soft sleeve of the being's arm. "Do you n-need help?"

Cherry pupils glanced at him. "Help? No, I got this."

With the press of a button, the TV flickered on. The screen showed a black and white film featuring two maimen, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other resembling some kind of carnivorous plant. They were caught in an argument of some kind. Hadie sighed heavily and clicked a different button, which changed the channel to a horror movie. Dale only got to see a brief moment of it before the TV showed a cartoon about a blue, Australian dog.

"So what's this Christmas thing we're invited here for about?" It asked.

"Yeah." Agreed a minion. "I'd like an explanation. It sounds important."

The arm he sat on began to lower, but Dale refused to move places. Hadie was being so, so gentle, and careful. The opposite of what he was told its nature would be. He was still high enough to see most of everyone, but not enough to get a good view.

The question lingered in Dale's mind, and pressed on when he noticed literally everyone staring at him, waiting for answers. Everyone, except for REC, who seemed unsure. How the fuck was Dale supposed to explain an Earth holiday? Christmas had too much behind it, but all he wanted to focus on was the family and being together part.

And then, REC spoke. Its voice was hollow and cold. "Christmas is what you make of it, which in this case, is us all reuniting and having fun."

"But this is just a party." Barbu stated.

"Yeah, a-and Expunged made us wear these silly hats!" Chirped a chubby, black-eyed minion. "I think it's fun!"

Expressions of amusement spread across the beings. Kirby Dave made himself known, despite being here the entire time. "So what is this, then?" He peeped.

Dale glanced at the TV, then back. "Partying."

"Christmasing." Brobgonal added.

"That sounds terrifying." Kirby Dave said. He smiled. "I love it! But why the weird hats and the cartoon? And isn't Hel-"

Everyone else, in unison, all shushed the puffball at once. It caused Kirby Dave to go silent about his questions, but not completely quiet. Over the course of what was probably a few hours, the group moved about in the living room. Conversations started and ended, a competition for wrestling was held, and the channels kept being changed. At some point a bunch of cheaters ran into the room, but Dale suspected they were shepherded in.

As much as seeing and hearing the screams of humans should've unsettled him, it didn't. Or, not as much as he thought it would. In the time of him being a resident of this house, he had many opportunities to witness this exact thing. The two available Trixes hunted a cheater with coordination. Brobgonal kept stabbing someone in the skull with a screwdriver. Hadie just... picked some up and ate them in a single bite. The only ones not hunting were Antonio, REC, and Kirby Dave, which said a lot about the beings celebrating a random party they were dragged to.

Dale was no exception. If he was still human, and didn't fall through the events turning him into a monster, he would absolutely say no to an offering of flesh. But Dale wasn't human anymore. He may resemble such, but he was now a bunch of shapes with an appetite for blood. He was, in simplicity, something very, very unholy. He gnawed on a chunk of human flesh, his teeth struggling to tear out a sensible bite. A savory, metallic taste hit his tongue, and he couldn't help but want more.

"You know, I never got the entire story about the guy that almost ended the realm." Barbu said, slurping up tea from a mug. "It must've been really weird for him. Some kind of surreal horror in his eyes, meanwhile some of us believed we'd never live."

"Because the Realm imploded?" Dale guessed. This doesn't make sense. Shouldn't everything be dead if this happened? I'm missing the context for this event.

He noticed that REC was more still than usual, even refusing to react when Algy poked it in the side. A minion with glasses spoke up. "Sort of. Reality was crumbling around that poor soul, but the sky was fairly stable in comparison. From what I heard, the boss was making sure the dimension didn't collapse, which kept her from tearing that piece of shit to shreds."

"I see..." Barbu nodded. "I'm thankful that the 3D Realm is still intact. Who knows what would've happened if it did collapse. We'd all be gone..."

Antonio shook her head. "Collapse does not always mean destruction." She stated. "The 3D Realm actually sort of shrunk in on itself a million or so years ago. Things were crushed together and remixed into something new, yet still very typical for the dimension. That's why we have the Very Big District, among other places."

"Oh, oh! I remember that!" Brobgonal shouted.

"And how do you know this, ant guy?" Barbu asked, not commenting on his partner's addition. "Are you a time traveler?"

"No, it's just in the written documentation of this dimension." Antonio deadpanned. "I believe the 3D Realm collapsed again one or two thousand years ago, but why is unknown. It's particularly odd because nothing seems to have changed at all..."

REC was still behaving strangely. Dale decided not to question it, as it was either asleep or trying to remain as normal as possible. Aren't you the one who did this? That's why the ex-Lord came to collect you that one day, he thought. You almost ended the 3D Realm, but you didn't mean it, surely. You're too nice!

Instead of REC confessing to its crimes, Hadie spoke in its place. "Um. Something did change." They chittered.

Antonio's antennae stood on end. Eris produced around thirty question marks, which got the message across. Hadie rotated their head on their neck, scanning the room. As if making sure nothing else was watching, or listening in. Dale looked away, not wanting to watch.

"I changed." Hadie whispered, but it more so felt like a normal amount of volume than a whisper. "That day, that moment, it wasn't anything random. Something shoved its way into our home. Something... massive. Something I can't explain."

"Sounds like a skill issue to me." Kirby Dave mumbled.

Hadie did not growl or retort. "This... this thing, its very presence made the 3D Realm go silver. It dwarfed me and Expunged, and Bandu was no more a speck to it." They continued. "Expunged actually coaxed me into helping her fight it, as it was more powerful than her and Bandu, and Bambi wasn't there."

The way Hadie was telling the story made Dale imagine some grand battle. Just three beings versus an antagonist none of them could exactly describe. Just what did they fight? Was it another god? One ruling over order than chaos? Something truly incomprehensible, like an eldritch being? An Earth angel? It left him eager for more, which couldn't be said about his snack. He tossed it over to Butchatrix, and the creature caught the chunk of flesh in its jaws.

"Long story short, it was eated to death." Hadie deadpanned. "I don't know how, but after I touched it, it suddenly burned and screamed whenever Expunged or Bandu took a swipe at it. Even the minions were deadly to it. But me? I was still useless."

Antonio was busy typing away on a laptop, which was suddenly here. "Is this that change you described? You tainting this creature and making it vulnerable to The Red Chaos?" She clarified.

Hadie managed a shrug. "I... guess. This wasn't the change I was talking about." They chittered. "After whatever the fuck that thing was died, the gray Realm collapsed around us. Bandu didn't want Expunged to be subjected to the collapse, so he got me to haul her comatose ass out. I threw her through the portal to safety, but I wasn't so lucky..." A growl slipped through their teeth. "I saved her life. I saved HER FUCKING LIFE! And what do I get once she wakes up, and I just want to ask her for help? Screamed and shamed! Treated like a monster, even though NEW FLASH! I helped you fight something much more worthy of this! I saved you!"

Heavy breaths escaped Hadie, their eyes were pricked with little tears. Dale instinctively pet them, even if it was just their arm. He only got Expunged's perspective on most things. Never did he get any input from Hadie, the very being Expunged slandered most of the time.

"I'm... sorry?" Antonio peeped.

"No, you're fine. You're fine." Hadie blinked away their tears. "The... worst part is that I still don't know why I'm here. I'm powerful, practically indestructible. I'm immortal all things considered. And yet I'm treated as the scum of the world." They sighed through their teeth. "What am I in this hell for? To be a random antagonist? An experiment? If Expunged wanted me to be her successor, she sure has a fucked up way of showing it."

Dale didn't have the answers to this, so he didn't say anything... even if he wanted to. From his experience, all he really needed to do was listen and make sure whoever was venting was heard. Hadie seemed to appreciate getting it all out of their system. Their previous bored, angry, and sad postures were relaxed, almost glad. REC even came back to life to float over, and rest a hand on their leg.

And then Brobgonal ruined it.

"Ok but you're still alive, what about you changed? You don't look any different." He said.

Hadie glared down at him. "Remember when I wandered through the Realm unattended, destroyed cities, and created scars in the sky? I can't do that anymore. I can't bring myself to willingly hurt people, even if I really want to." They snarled. "That's what changed. I'm cursed."

"Lies. You just killed some people." Brobgonal pointed out. "And you still do that if something gets caught in your house."

"Like I said: skill issue." Kirby Dave chimed.

"Whatever!" Hadie grumbled. "I can no longer cause property damage. You happy?"

Brobgonal said nothing. He just sat there and smiled, and Hadie huffed in annoyance. Then, slowly, Dale watched Brobgonal's smug expression fade. In fact, everyone else but Dale, Hadie, and REC suddenly seemed unnerved. Almost afraid. Antonio was the biggest example, shaking in place and clinging to Eris. Hadie didn't catch it, but Dale did, and his head spun around to the other side.

Bandu and Expunged were there, both in their true forms, both huge in comparison to everyone else. Both were wearing winter coats. Bandu had on a deep green, puffy vest, and his sleeves had tiny spikes to give the vision of 3D fur. Expunged wore what looked to be leather with a fluffy hood, and a zipper. The coat was held together by a huge brass button. Neither of the siblings were smiling.

"Um. You might wanna turn around..." Barbu advised.

Hadie paused. "...Expunged is right behind me, isn't she."

None of the other creations answered. Hadie already knew what they would've said, and yet, refused to confront Expunged. They didn't turn their head around, or move. They just remained as still as possible, like REC earlier. Dale watched Expunged float to the side of the couch, and stand directly in front of Hadie. Her expression wasn't manic, instead being a genuine frown. Guilt, if he had to guess. Perhaps it was why Expunged wanted Dale to invite Hadie to the party. Perhaps she wanted to make amends. Either way, he slid off of the giant's arm, and stood next to REC.

After a few more moments of silence, Expunged spoke, her voice soft. "Hadie..."

"What do you want." Hadie growled, refusing to look her in the eye.

Expunged went quiet again. She let out a heavy sigh. "Walk with me." She said. "We need to talk."

Dale expected them to retort something, or yell, or spurt a monologue about how much she had hurt them. But it didn't happen. Instead, Hadie slowly stood up, causing the couch to rumble as weight shifted. They glared, but did not protest. They followed Expunged to a wall in the living room, and both phased through it like ghosts. Dale exchanged glances with the others. He theorized the two's walk wouldn't go well, if at all.

"I don't think that one's gonna work." Bandu said, inadvertently making Dale's thoughts known. "Anyways, how are you all doin'?"

"Fine." Brobgonal said.

"Could be doing better things right now, honestly, like counting the stocks." Antonio deadpanned sarcastically. Eris just gave a thumbs-up.

Dale didn't say anything, again. Bandu, whose face was just a maw full of sharp teeth, smiled. "Well good! I'm doin' dandy, and for your information, downright fabulous." He purred. "Did Dale tell y'all about the feast we'll be having later?"

Shit. Dale thought he already mentioned that part. He scrunched up as the eyes of everyone in the room fell onto him. Well, he couldn't say it now, as Bandu beat him to it.

"No? Well then yeah, that's happening." Bandu continued. "But later! And if you wanna help in it, feel free to!"

From the frowns on the others, Dale could infer that he'd be doing it solo. Or, with great quantity, considering the minions from earlier would help with no questions asked. Maybe Bandu too, since he brought it up in the first place. Expunged, even if she were available, wouldn't be a viable choice for cooking. Baking, yes, but not cooking for some reason.

Antonio raised her hand. "When exactly is this taking place? I have a meeting in the evening that I can't miss."

"Probably before that." Bandu answered. "Aaaaanyways... want to play some games, or something? Yunno, because you all look really bored, you could use it."

The creations of Expunged plus Antonio and REC all mutually agreed to this. Everyone that could play got into a neat circle on the couch, with Bandu being on the outside to accommodate for his massive size. The game they were all playing seemed to be a combination of Monopoly, Chess, and some secret third game about all thinking as a hive mind. The rules, from what Dale heard, was trying to unify every individual player as one society, but the actions from assimilated cities still thought independently. He wasn't particularly interested in the game, and watched with the Trixes as the session evolved into a complex strategy combined with the screams of the damned.

At some point, Dale didn't know when, Bandu left the game and promptly dragged him to the kitchen. Dale was less than amused at this action, but it left him with a sense of purpose. The 3D Realm had recipes for other holidays, and some items were eerily similar to those of Earth. Dale knew a main dish of meat was needed, and to play it safe, went with an alien bird known as a false strawberry. The creature itself would be enough to sate everyone if distributed correctly, and if Hadie and Expunged weren't included. To solve this issue, Dale also had the minions cook some of the meats from his room, mainly beef and chicken that were stolen from Earth.

For side dishes, the minions made curry. The sauce was spicy and sweet, and instead of rice it was the crushed bodies of small critters known as los. Cornbread was made, steamed veggies were prepared, and Bandu chipped in with a batch of peppermint cookies with no traces of chocolate whatsoever. Dale didn't know what to use for gravy, so he substituted pig's blood. Additional foods were various berries and fruits, and a thing of jello that was found in the back of the fridge. According to the minions, it was delicious.

But all of this wasn't enough, as all of the minions in the House of Madness needed a sizable portion as well. Bandu proposed robbing the local 3Donalds and stealing everything. Dale might've not agreed with this plan, but Bandu was already gone. He couldn't teleport or stop Bandu, so Dale decided to help in a different way. He led the minions and the food to the dining room, and helped set the table for everyone. The minions wouldn't all be able to sit at the table, but they didn't seem to mind anyways. Once it was all put in order, Dale had a few of the minions retrieve everyone.

Sitting at the table, surrounded by bounties he could only dream of in his younger years, Dale let his body relax. "Maybe this will go right after all..."

The door opened, but not to Brobgonal or Bandu. Expunged stepped in, and with her was Hadie. The two immediately took notice of the delicacies on the table, and in turn, Dale. Both smiled, and he smiled back. They look they had a nice time! Not angry at all, or sad.

"Woah..." Hadie chittered. "Did... you... make this?"

Dale nodded. "Mhm. With a lot of help from the minions." He said happily. "And Bandu made the peppermint things. He said he's coming back with 3Donalds."

Their red eyes lit up. "Oh! I've never had 3Donalds before, but I heard they make good milkshakes. Can you tell Bandu to get me one?"

"I'll do it." Said Expunged.

She walked over to one of the massive chairs on the very end of the table, and took a seat. She did not however whip out her phone and text Bandu, nor summon one to call him. Hadie sat next to Expunged. Since Dale was small in comparison, he just sat on the table, with a beanbag to lean against. The other seats he prepared were mostly the same.

"You seem happy... what did you talk about?" Dale asked.

Hadie's smile faded slightly. "We... it... it's none of your business, earwig." They said. "But if you want to know, I'm no longer confined to my house since this stupid curse won't let me kill people."

"It's not a curse. It's an affliction from the 3D Realm itself." Expunged corrected. "It's better than death, or being crushed and molded into a new form, yes?"

Hadie sighed. "I guess, but it still feels like a curse, and I hate it. You know that, bitch. I told you an hour ago."

Expunged chuckled in amusement. The door to the room opened again, this time to the motley of beings that she had created over the course of her life. They all floated up and took their places at the table. Eris and Antonio sat next to Dale, the Trixes and Kirby Dave were next to Expunged, and the minions were all crowded on the opposite side of Dale. Bandu appeared moments after, and proceeded to dump a truck-ton of french fries and chicken nuggets all over the table. He did however politely give Hadie their milkshake, and sat between his brother and the Trixes.

With everyone here, the conversations were silent. Dale could see everyone staring expectantly at him. Oh, right. There's a prayer for this too, he remembered. I could say something, but I don't remember the words, and I don't think it would be too meaningful to any of you...

"Screw the prayer shit, let's eat." Dale announced.

In an instant, everyone rushed for the various foods before them. Yet, despite each and every one of them snagging and clawing at what was available, they didn't fight each other for scraps. It was a very interesting dance that Dale was somehow a part of, and the same could be said about Antonio, who was very confused. And yet, once everyone got what they wanted, they all ate at their own leisure in the most peaceful way possible. Sure, the Trixes ate like animals, but even they were tame. Dale in particular had portions of each meal, with some fries on the side.

"Well?" He asked. "Do you like it?"

The others all had smiles on their faces, and those that did hear him nodded. Whatever conversations they paused were now back. Expunged even took her time eating her meal, delicately using a fork and her claws to separate the meat. The minions were probably the most ravenous of them, despite mostly eating 3Donalds. And through the day? And in this moment? Dale was happy.

Hadie popped off the lid on their milkshake, and tossed the contents in their mouth. "Hmmm..." they hummed. "This tastes like prion disea-"

And then, suddenly, Hadie's eyes went wide. Their whole body froze up, a shocked expression adorned their face. They let out a quiet whimper. Their eyes shut tightly, baring their teeth. It instantly sent a wave of dread through Dale. It made everyone fall silent, as the attention was shifted to the spider-like being whimpering in pain.

Hadie let out one last yowl, before falling into Expunged. Arms quickly wrapped around their body as Expunged hugged her creation. She took off their hat and pet their head, brushing the fur they hid underneath. Her expression was sad. Dale was trembling. Is Hadie...

But Dale's question was answered before he could finish thinking of it. Hadie's eyes became X's, like a cartoon character dying. Suddenly, their shapes separated from their body with a loud pop. Their arms and hands scattered everywhere, falling underneath the table and rolling onto the floor. All Expunged held now was their head.

The House of Madness was as silent as ever.

Chapter Text

Expunged:
Can't go back to the past!

Bandu:
Hello!

Expunged:
Hi! I don't know how that text got there. These new modular devices are really something. They got 'em in both dimensions!

Bandu:
I know! Now we have physical evidence of the insane shit we tell each other!

Expunged:
I don't like that

Bandu:
Neither do I! Neososabsbej

Expunged:
What is that?

Bandu:
ofdlwnsido? Keysmash!

Expunged:
Dioxsjwjwosnfbfisowkw

Bandu:
Tshsykrharbrukd mathfyjathafkufistjfhmhsgjyrofuksyjstndgbafuyroryndggqejdyoeynsgn

Expunged:
WJWNDIDOSNWBEHFOCPSLWJEBRHFIWPWNDBFHFOENFHCIWNWLAPFUFBRBWALXPGJRNTBCOWMPZVIRNCUOXLZCBRKPWNEGJIDQPNRGJOCENFBTBTVTENRBTVEJWPWIRUDOQPSKXNZKAPWIFBRNSLDOFJRNWKDOGJDNGBEJQPEOFIVUNGVUFOAPQLWKBRVTCUCCYRBWNQMPAXICYBTNTBUOX

Bandu:
Woah there horsey

Expunged:
I LOVE THIS THING!!!! COMPUTER'S BETTER THOUGH SINCE IT HAS VIDEO GAMES.

Bandu:
I can see that! :3

Expunged:
HOLY SHIT THERE ARE EMOTICONS TOO??

Bandu:
Yes!!! :) :0 :p

Expunged:
>:D

Bandu:
We're gonna have so much fun

—

Bandu:
WaW

Bandu:
WoW

Bandu
WeW

Expunged:
SuS

Bandu:
Don't say that ever again.

Expunged:
I'M GOING BY INTERNET MEME LAW!

—

Bandu:
We really should use these things more often

Expunged:
NOT MY FAULT SOMEONE CUT OFF ALL CONTACT AFTER SO AND SO DIED. ALSO TELEPATHY IS JUST BETTER.

Bandu:
:(

—

Expunged:
HERE ARE SOME CAT VIDEOS I FOUND THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE.

—

Bandu:
Hey! I have some very important information to relay to your twisted heart.

Expunged:
WHAT.

Bandu:
That fat fuck is cheating again!

Expunged:
SAY NO MORE. HE WILL REGRET HIS ACTIONS!

Bandu:
Get his ass.

—

Bandu:
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down

Letting the days go by, water flowing underground

Into the blue again, after the money's gone

Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

Expunged:
WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME SONG LYRICS? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. SURE I KNOW THE CONTEXT OF SOME, BUT OTHERS I DON'T. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS? IT'S NOT FUNNY. IT'S NOT CUTE. IT'S INCREDIBLY ANNOYING AND MAKES ME WANT TO THROW YOU INTO A CONCRETE WALL IMBEDDED WITH GLASS AND SHARP PIECES OF METAL. I'D RATHER COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND WATCH YOU SING ALONG TO TUNES IN YOUR HEAD THAN HAVE THIS GARBAGE SENT TO ME WHILE I'M MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS.

Bandu:
Never knew that. Thanks for letting me know!

—

Bandu:
Pizza pie

—

Bandu:
Banana

Banasnss

Expunged:
NOT AGAIN! WHO TRICKED YOU THIS TIME?

Actually scratch that i'm coming over

—

Bandu:
Oh no

Bandu:
Nonono

Expunged:
ARE WE ROLEPLAYING A DESCENT INTO INSANITY AGAIN?

Bandu:
No! Something very bad is going to happen today. I can feel it.

Expunged:
AREN'T WE CLAIRVOYANT?

Bandu:
I'm serious dude! Some shit's gonna go down today and I'm scared!

Expunged:
I'LL GO LOOK AT THE SECURITY THINGY. USUALLY IT CAN PREDICT ONCOMING FLUXES OF ENERGY. MAYBE YOU'RE JUST FEELING THE APPROACH OF A STORM OR SOMETHING.

Bandu:
I'M NOT A BUCKET-HEAD!!!

Expunged:
I'M JOKING! FFS

Expunged:
REMEMBER THAT GUY WE MOCKED? THAT'S HIS SIGNATURE. HE'S OPENING A RIFT BUT HE ISN'T IN CONTROL OF IT.

Bandu:
Well damn.

—

Expunged:
FOR THE RECORD I AM TOTALLY GOING TO KILL THIS GUY.

Bandu:
But first we must get to know him! For real this time. No spying. We go in person, like we talked about.

Expunged:
I'M STILL GOING TO SCARE THE EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM.

Bandu:
Hahaahaha ok. Just don't let him know how much you hate him.

Expunged:
HEY YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY? HOW ABOUT WE ACT LIKE IDIOTS AND TURN OFF OUR BRAINS. YOU CAN PRETEND TO ADORE ME AND I CAN JUST PUNT YOU WHENEVER I CHOOSE. WE GIVE THIS GUY ALL THE WRONG CLUES ABOUT WHO WE REALLY ARE.

Bandu:
Doesn't that seem a little biased? Why am I being abused??

Expunged:
THIS IS REVENGE FOR FILLING MY HOUSE WITH VANILLA EXTRACT. YES I'M STILL MAD YOU DID THAT. THIS ISN'T JANUARY 15 1919!

Bandu:
Just like we talked about, ok.

—

Bandu:
So did you like that show I sent you?

Expunged:
No. What is this.

Bandu:
Birds :)

Expunged:
YEAH I KNOW THAT.

I GUESS YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT?

Bandu:
Lmao. You are honey ham.

Expunged:
NO I AM NOT???

Bandu:
I'd also say you are a wild wave foaming up shame but I don't think you'd understand that one.

Expunged:
CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE? YOU'RE SCARING ME.

Bandu:
Yeah. I'm exciting to come over to your house later this evening. Will there be dinner?

Expunged:
OF COURSE.

Bandu:
A salad?

Expunged:
ONLY IF YOU WANT IT.

Bandu:
I hope we get to have beef stroganoff soup soon. I miss having it with you.

Expunged:
ME TOO.

—

Expunged:
I'M FOOLING AROUND ON YOUR MINECRAFT SERVER TODAY. THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW.

—

Bandu:
What is it like?

Expunged:
SPECIFY.

Bandu:
The people in that limbo that somehow exists as a result of your weirdness... what do you think it's like for them?

Expunged:
AN INTERESTING QUESTION.

PLENTY OF THEM BELIEVED THEY HAD AN AFTERLIFE TO GO TO, LIKE HEAVEN OR HELL.

THEY BELIEVED THEY WOULD FADE INTO AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE FEELING.

THEY WERE WRONG.

THEIR EYES FLUTTERED OPEN, BUT IT WASN'T CLOUDS OR BRIMSTONE. IT WASN'T PARADISE OR OBLIVION.

IT WAS AN ENDLESS PLANE OF DARKNESS, BARRICADED BY RUSTED CAGE BARS.

THE FRIGID COLD OF DEATH IS THE ONLY SOURCE OF WARMTH THEY CAN FEEL.

THEY BLEED FOREVER, INDEFINITELY IN ETERNAL PAIN AND BLISS AT ONCE.

THEY CHEATED, AND SO THEY PAID THE ULTIMATE PRICE.

Bandu:
Damn.

I'm confused about the darkness bit though. How do you know what it's like in there? Or is this because you are a victim of yourself?

Expunged:
I DON'T KNOW. SOMETIMES I WAKE UP AND IT'S ALL BLACK, AND I CAN HEAR THEM SCREAMING AND CRYING. SOMETIMES I CAN'T TELL IF I'M THE ONE THAT'S SCREAMING AND CRYING.

Bandu:
Skill issue.

Expunged:
Fuck you.

Bandu:
Will they ever be free?

Expunged:
THERE IS A REASON WHY THE BUTTERFLIES LIVE HERE. THERE IS A REASON WHY SOMEONE SPEAKS WHERE OTHERS CAN'T. THERE IS A REASON WHY I NAMED MY MOST POWERFUL CREATION "HELLBREAKER."

Bandu:
I just thought you didn't have any ideas. Also I don't follow.

Expunged:
UGH.

Bandu:
Boop bap bop beep

Expunged:
???????????????????

—

Bandu:
I'm sad.

Expunged:
OH.

Bandu:
Thanks a lot. /s

Expunged:
...DO YOU WANT A HUG?

Bandu:
That'd be nice, but it's too good to be true, isn't it?

Expunged:
ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT TRUE ACTUALLY. I'M NOT WHO I WAS BEFORE.

I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY.

I'M COMING OVER.

Bandu:
Really?

Expunged:
YES. I HAVE THAT BLANKET YOU LIKE TOO.

Bandu:
And I thought you didn't love me...

Expunged:
WHY WOULD I NOT LOVE YOU? WE'RE FAMILY. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH. I KNOW IT'S HARD AND I KNOW WE BOTH HAVE OUR SEVERE ISSUES BUT WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS. YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS.

Bandu:
Thank you...

Expunged:
NO PROBLEM. WE'LL TALK MORE, BUT CAN YOU PLEASE UNLOCK YOUR DOOR. I'M OUTSIDE AND IT'S COLD.

—

Expunged:
HEY. IF YOU DON'T GET READY SOON THEN I'M GIVING YOU A BIG HUG.

Bandu:
Ok ok we're on our way. But promise me that when you kill this guy you won't tell the kids. They may be used to your "tame" shenanigans but I don't think they can handle the news of a human's death, even more so one they have grown to know.

Expunged:
I DON'T PLAN ON TELLING THEM.

—

Bandu:
Between you and me this is some spooky shit

—

Expunged:
DID YOU HAVE FUN WITH HIM TODAY? WAS IT WORTH IT?

Bandu:
Yeah. Kind of sad to see him go for real (unless you bring him back to fuck with him forever, because you seem to like doing that).

Expunged:
I WANT HIM DEAD. BRING HIM BACK IN HALF AN HOUR.

Bandu:
Okay

—

Bandu:
Would it be rude if we told Dave we saw REC before he knew it existed? What will happen when the others find out? Bambi?

Expunged:
HE'D BE PISSED OFF FOR SURE. IF HE EVER TELLS ANYONE ELSE THEY'LL THINK HE'S CRAZY, UNLESS REC IS THERE TOO. BUT REC'S MEMORY IS FADING SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT TOO MUCH.

Bandu:
I still don't understand why you did all this...

Expunged:
HE HAD POWER, BUT NO MEANS OF CONTROLLING IT. IF I HADN'T STEPPED IN, THE ONES IN CHARGE WOULD HAVE DONE FAR WORSE THINGS THAN WHAT I HAVE INFLICTED ON HIM... OR PERHAPS, EVEN THE ONES WE DON'T SPEAK OF WOULD'VE DONE SOMETHING.

HIS POWER IS GONE NOW, BUT HIS AMBITIOUS AND PATHETIC AURA STILL REMAINS. YOU RESENT DAVID WITH SIMILAR REASONS AND FEELINGS, DESPITE NOT HAVING A FRACTION OF WHAT MAKES DAVE, DAVE. YOU PETTY, PETTY MAN. IF GIVEN THE CHANCE, WOULD YOU NOT DO THE SAME?

Bandu:
Good point actually, but I am not petty. David is awful and needs to learn his place.

Expunged:
ALSO, AND THIS MAY COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU, BUT NOTHING WE DO MATTERS. WE'VE LIVED FOREVER. THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE WE NO LONGER REMEMBER. THIS IS WHY HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF, AND WHY I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PRESERVE IT IN ITS MOST INTEGRAL STATE.

Bandu:
Well you suck at that clearly.

Expunged:
I'M DOING MY BEST! THE RANDOM CLAIRVOYANCE DOES NOT HELP.

TBH I MISS THE OLD BAMBI WHO KNEW EVERYTHING AND KNEW WHAT TO DO.

Bandu:
Yeah, killing his vegetative state over and over again clearly doesn't have the same ring, does it?

—

Bandu:
I just noticed this. The sussy man doesn't smell like himself anymore.

Expunged:
THAT'S BECAUSE HE ISN'T.

Bandu:
Whag?

Expunged:
YOU THOUGHT I BROUGHT THAT USELESS LITTLE CLONE BACK TO LIFE? YOU THOUGHT I SAVED HIM OUT OF THE GOODNESS IN MY HEART? I CREATED AN ENTIRELY NEW BEING MADE TO REPLICATE HIM, MEMORIES AND ALL! AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT! I DID IT TO SCREW THINGS UP EVEN MORE!

Bandu:
What the fuck

Expunged:
I ALSO GAVE HIM CANCER.

Bandu:
The human kind or the one that all the minions get after seeing too much of your shit?

Expunged:
:)

Bandu:
D:

Expunged:
THAT ISN'T ALL BUT I'M GONNA LET YOU FIGURE OUT THE REST. LET'S JUST SAY THAT IF HE LETS HIS EMOTIONS OVERCOME HIM LIKE A GOOD VICTIM OF MINE, THEN SOME SPOOKIER SHIT IS GONNA HAPPEN.

Bandu:
Cheese and rice, Moony. Either way I love it.

Expunged:
THANK YOU. BUT MY NAME IS EXPUNGED???

—

Bandu:
Hey um I know you're taking a bubbly bath rn but I saw a weird younger version of Dave in a forest and according to him he's from another timeline should I do something?

Never mind. He got torn to pieces by a mimifly and fed to her pups.

Expunged:
GOOD FOR HER!

—

Bandu:
How

Expunged:
PLOT HOLES, MY FRIEND.

—

Expunged:
SO I HEARD YOU'RE HAVING A BEACH EPISODE. WHO ALL IS THERE?

Bandu:
Dave Bambi Tristan Ringi Bambom Bendu and some other people I don't know

Expunged:
COOL. ALSO I'M GOING. IN CIRNO COSPLAY.

Bandu:
Sick

Expunged:
ALSO UM. MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THIS AT AN ACTUAL BEACH AND NOT THE LAKE BUBBLES BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME NEFARIOUS CREATURES OVER THERE THAT MAY BE HOSTILE

—

Expunged:
GUESS WHO WATCHED THE LAST EPISODE OF THAT SHOW YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT?

Bandu:
Dale?

Expunged:
YES BUT ALSO ME.

Expunged:
I'm not sure if I want to cry or not. I didn't expect it to end like that.

Bandu:
Oh wow, if you're feeling this way then Dale certainly isn't doing any better!

Expunged:
He hasn't left my side.

Bandu:
You're not using all caps are you ok? /gen

Expunged:
I don't know, but I do know this. I'm going to go see Bambi. Hopefully it will take my mind off of this revelation.

Bandu:
What revelation?

Bandu:
Hello?

—

Bandu:
All he wanted was to see your face, and you murdered him!

Expunged:
He shouldn't have showed up if he wanted to live.

Bandu:
Man you are killing everyone off these days

Expunged:
You sound surprised. I do this all the time.

Bandu:
But I thought it would work out for you this time!

Expunged:
No. Never. I... can't. Never again. You know this. Remember?

Bandu:
You love Elsen for some reason. I also thought you had an affection for Bendu.

Expunged:
Fuck off

—

Bandu:
Dude they're so gay

Expunged:
ALL THE BETTER TO LET THEM DIE TOGETHER!

Bandu:
Are you gonna

Expunged:
Dunno yet

—

Expunged:
He's dead for good.

Bandu:
Who is?

Expunged:
You know who. I can't find his soul. It happened again.

Bandu:
Oh... ooooh.......

Did you want to hold a funeral for him?

Expunged:
It's the only way we can properly honor him now.

Bandu:
I'll get the phones, you get the corn. Have the minions go get his belongings in storage.

Expunged:
Done and done.

—

Expunged:
Hit the ground
The yard, I found something
I could taste your mouth
Shut the door
Now in the sun tanning

You were so just
Looking across the sky

Can't remember
I can't recall, no
I can't remember anything at all

He skipped the sunrise
Looking across the grass
Said he wanted
And not that I'm "every"
It's the same, I could mean you were right

Everyone else
Hasn't a chance, don't
Fail me now
Open arms, rest

Let's run under
Cursing myself at night
Slow it was seven
I wish it was seven all night

Tell me when
Tell me when is this over?
Chewed you out
Chew me out when I'm stupid
I don't wanna
Everyone else pales
Send in the owl
Tell me I'm not a child

You summon
Forget about everyone else
Fall away somehow

To figure it out