Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Get up 

 He needed to get up. He was going to be late, but his body felt like lead

He stared at the popcorn ceiling, looking for patterns but he couldn't find anything.

"MK WHERE ARE YOU?"

He somehow managed to drag himself out of bed and throw on his work uniform, though the thought of looking at his body made him physically recoil. 

Mk hauled himself down the stairs and mentally prepared himself for the verbal attack he knew was inevitably going to happen.

"QI XIAOTIAN WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? THIS IS YOUR THIRD TIME LATE TO WORK THIS WEEK,"

Mk stared at his scuffed converse.

"HONESTLY I DON'T KNOW WHY I CONTINUE EMPLOYING YOU AT THIS POINT IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA SLACK OFF AND LAY AROUND ALL DAY!"

Mk dug his nails into his palms, leaving crescent shaped marks.

"I SWEAR TO GOD YOU'VE JUST BEEN SO LAZY LATELY I-"

Mk couldn't hear the rest of what Pigsy said, his ears started ringing and that one word started resonating in his head.

Lazy.

He ignored the way it stuck to his brain like a fly to a glue trap.

"I- I'm sorry sir."

With those word Pigsy's glare softened and he finally relented.

Pigsy let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes, "It's alright kid, I got some orders I need you to deliver, M'kay? Can you do that?"

Mk nodded. 

"Alright I need to go grab them. Stay there."

Pigsy walked into the kitchen leaving Mk alone, until Tang walked in.

"Oh my dear sweet Pigsy~" he called out, not noticing Mk standing in the corner, picking his cuticles. 

"It's just so cold outside and I a need a free fresh bowl of- Oh. Hello Mk!" He explained, cheeks flushing.

"Hey Mr. Tang," he replied, not bothering to look up.

"Shouldn't you be out delivering orders right now? Although I suppose you have been lazier than normal lately."

There it was.

That word again.

Lazy.

By the time he tuned back into the real world he noticed three things.

1. His finger was bleeding.

2. Tang was fussing over him and looking at him worried.

3. Pigsy was back with the orders.

"Sorry for worrying you Tang but I got some orders to deliver," he said while running up to snatch the orders out of Pigsy's hands, "Bye!"

He promptly ran out into the street and hopped up onto the Tuk Tuk, leaving the couple in the dust and confused.

"Do you know what's going on with him Tang?"

"I have no idea."

He felt the wind nip and his cheeks and nose as he sped to deliver his next order before it got cold.

He was blasting Melanie Martinez in his wireless headphones.

Mei introduced her music to him in middle school, and it helped him through a lot of hard times, it was a source of comfort for him.

He sped through the rest of the orders until he came to the final one. 

He instantly recognized the address, knowing only one person lived on flower fruit mountain.

"HEY MONKEY KING!" 

"Ah kid, nice to see you, do you have my noodles?" Wukong said, smiling at him.

Mk smiled, "You betcha."

"Thanks kid, anyways, are you up for some training tomorrow?" 

Mk felt dread seep into his bones.

"I-I-I don't know about that, it's just been kinda hard t-"

"Ahhh same lazy old Mk!" Wukong laughed.

Mk tried to ignore how that word made him feel like he had been hit with a ton of bricks.

"Yeah... Lazy old me." Mk muttered, trying not to let his emotions be revealed with his voice.

"I really need to go work on some other orders now, really nice to see you. Bye!" Mk yelled as he rushed off.

Mk had finally clocked off and was just about ready to curl up into a ball and cry.

Why couldn't they see he was trying?

He didn't want to be lazy he just... couldn't.

It was just so hard to get out of bed and keep going.

He really is lazy isn't he?

He just needs to try harder.

He had to be better. 

He couldn't be a failure all his life.

He had to be a hero.

Chapter Text

Mk's ribs ached.

He couldn't stop. He had to keep going.

He was not a failure.

Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead.

Wukong looked concerned. "We can take a break if you need Mk."

Mk's brow furrowed "I'm fine Monkey King. Let's keep going."

Wukong was hesitant but he still continued.

Mk was struggling. 

He hadn't slept in two days and he kept his binder on for 17 hours.

He wasn't going to be able to win this fight.

Staggering, he took a swing at his mentor.

He couldn't comprehend what had happened. 

He was on the ground, wasn't he just standing up?

This must be a dream.

When did he fall asleep then? 

All of a sudden he felt the dull pain in the back of his head intensify and shoot throughout the rest of his body.

Noise also, slowly filtered back into his ears.

"-ID? KID???"

Mk let out a groan.

"HOLY SHIT KID, ARE YOU OKAY?"

Mk tried to focus his eyes onto his mentor, who was barraging him with questions, but his vision was swimming.

"It's fine, what happened?"

A look of relief immediately swept across Wukong face

"You passed out. I think you should head home."

"Wha- No I can still train, I just need a minute!"

"Buddy, it's already getting dark out. Just go and get some rest."

Mk's eyes stung with tears, but he blinked them away.

What kind of hero cried like a baby whenever they felt weak?

What kind of hero was weak...

"Okay. Bye Monkey King, see you around."

He turned around and started the walk back to- Shit.

He has to catch the bus today.

The Tuk-Tuk was in the shop.

He needs to run.

He was out of breath and a sweaty mess, but he was on the bus.

He could really go for an energy drink right now, there was a gas station a couple blocks away from his stop.

He could just swing by and grab some dinner and a monster.

Mk looked out the window.

The sun was almost gone, the only evidence of it was a faint pink sliver of light, overshadowed by the blue and purple of the night sky. 

It was beautiful, but he remembered he had almost failed to save it.

Mk looked away in shame.

He noticed the bus slowing to a stop and walked to the front, knowing it was his stop.

As soon as he hopped off, he bolted to the store.

He knew that if he hurried he would avoid Pigsy and Tang.

He loved them, but he couldn't deal with all the questions they would surely ask.

"How was training?"

"What did you do?"

"Do you need some water?"

He would just get overwhelmed, it would be better to just avoid Pigsy and Tang all together.

Mk was running as fast as he could.

Unfortunately he didn't notice that dark clouds had been gathering in the sky until a water droplet fell on his head.

"Are you fucking with me right now?? WHAT THE FUCK DID I FUCKING DO????"

He didn't notice that somebody was right behind him.

"Hey, could you maybe move a bit? Sorry 'bout your existential crisis right now man." 

Whipping around, Mk noticed a guy with a blue wolf cut, as well as stubble and a "good vibes" t-shirt.

His heart dropped to his stomach.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry sir. I didn't notice you were there." 

The stranger seemed amused.

"Man don't even worry about it. I need to clock in, but I want to keep talking. Follow me in"

Mk wasn't really sure where he was following this rando on the street but, he needed to get out of the rain.

"YO MICHEAL! I'M CLOCKING IN. YOU CAN GO NOW DUDE."

A tired looking middle aged man come walking out of a back room.

Mk was observing his surroundings.

Jello Shots, Beer, Vodka, and of course wine.

He was in a liquor store.

Cool cool.

He then noticed the blue haired guy attempt to jump over the counter.

It was honestly more like a scoot... Or a crawl.

Micheal then sighed.

"Casey, if Dee saw you do that... What would she say?"

The stranger, presumably Casey, rolled his eyes.

"That's a sanitation violation! I'm the manager listen to me- blah blah blah."

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Casey just do your job."

He then walked out.

Mk turned to look at Casey.

"Soooo... You work in a liquor store?"

They smile, "Well I like vodka, so now I sell it."

"That's cool."

"I know, Anyways, what's your name?"

"Oh! Um- Mk. That's me... The monkey kid!"

"You're the monkey kid?" He looked shocked.

"Uhhh who did you think he was?"

"I thought he would be taller, more muscly, maybe some abs? Not a twink having an existential crisis in the middle of the sidewalk."

"Man, I'm not a mother fucking twink." 

Mk looked exasperated.

"Are you sure?"

After about an hour of talking they exchanged numbers and went their respective ways.

Mk was lying in his bed, waiting for Casey to call him.

His phone started buzzing.

He didn't even spare a glance at the caller id.

"Hello?'

"MK YOU STUPID MONKEY MAN!"

"Hi Mei."

"Don't 'hi Mei' me. We were supposed to hangout tonight. You just keep blowing me off. I'm tired of it."

"Mei I'm sorry! I'm just s-"

"I'm sorry but, I'm too mad right now. I'll listen to your explanation tomorrow. Goodnight Mk."

She didn't even listen.

Damn.

He really was a shitty friend.

Chapter Text

Mk couldn't deal with this right now.

He knew Mei was coming in to talk to him during his break.

He didn't want to face her.

Goddamn he was the worst.

At this point he should just make sure he didn't hurt her anymore.

He needed to go somewhere she didn't know about.

He shuffled through his contacts.

Oh my God.

It was so obvious.

He sent Casey a message.

Hey man!!! We should hangout rn!

sounds fun but i dont clock out for two more hours 

Dw. I'll just hang with you during your shift!

Kay

"Hey Mk, what's up with you?" Casey raised his eyebrow.

"I don't know what you mean, man."

"You look like you got hit by a bus. Did you need to beat somebody up on your way here?"

Mk realized he was right. His jeans were torn and he hadn't washed this hoodie in a week.

To put it in short, he looked like a mess.

"I've been having a shitty week."

A sympathetic look crossed Casey's face.

"Same man, my girlfriend is mad because I had to work on our anniversary. I feel bad but that's such bullshit!"

"That sucks."

Mk didn't really know a lot about relationship troubles. He had never really liked anybody and any relationships he was in barely lasted a week.

Casey sighed.

"Women, can't ever please one. But more importantly what's up with you, my guy? Do you also have any lady troubles?"

Mk rolled his eyes, "No- well technically, kinda but not really."

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"So... I don't know what's wrong with me lately! I keep accidentally blowing off people and skipping things I normally love, so last night I blew off my best friend Mei, I wasn't even hanging out with anybody else. I just lied in bed and stared at the wall."

"Oh damn, you're really going through it."

"Yeah. I just need something to take my mind off it."

Casey looked at him.

"You realize that you're in a store full of alcohol?"

"Yeah but I don't drink, Casey."

"That doesn't mean you can't drink. Besides there's plenty of worse things you can do."

Mk looked skeptical.

"What do you mean by that?"

Casey smirked and leaned into Mk.

"You wanna hear a secret?"

Mk nodded

"I'm high right now."

Mk jumped back.

"What the actual fuck Casey, AT WORK!"

"Man, chill out. It's just these neat nicotine pouches. Not patches though, there's a difference. Besides, it's not weed.But If you ever want weed I buy from this emo demon dude."

Mk couldn't keep up with all the information being dumped on him.

"I don't know what to say."

"Sorry Mk, I'm not trying to push you into anything or make you uncomfortable. It was just my first thought."

"It's fine... What kind of alcohol do you recommend?"

Mk went home with a couple canned mai-tai's.

According to Casey 'the alcohol percent in here is high as fuck, it can really fuck some shit up'

Mk felt excited.

He also felt like he was about to throw up.

He had promised himself that he would never drink.

And he was going to break that promise tonight.

When he walked back into the noodle shop Mei was still there.

He was so fucking screwed.

"Hey Mk. Can we go up to your apartment to talk?"

Shit

"Mhm, I need to go put these away first."

"What even are those?"

Man what was he supposed to say. Looking at the logistical side of it, he was 19.

It didn't matter that he was drinking.

But the doubt choked him and his mind.

If they found out they would be disappointed.

They would give up on him.

They would hate him.

Tang and Pigsy would give him back.

They wouldn't want him, nobody would ever want something that's broken.

He couldn't tell Mei.

She would tell Sandy, or Pigsy, or Tang, or God forbid his mentor.

His idol.

All he ever wanted to be.

Maybe Wukong wouldn't care.

But what would he think about his successor being so weak he would have to rely on a drug?

He couldn't just make it through a bad week.

Or month.

It doesn't matter.

He just needed to lie.

Just a little white lie.

"Just some new soda I wanted to try!"

Chapter Text

Mk slammed his head into the wall.

How could he ruin the best thing in his miserable fucking life

"Mk why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you."

"Bull. Shit. YOU'RE AVOIDING EVERYBODY. SANDY HASN'T SEEN YOU IN MONTHS. I BET YOU WOULDN'T EVEN SEE YOUR DADS IF YOU DIDN'T WORK FOR THEM!"

"I've just been busy. That's all."

"NO YOU HAVEN'T. YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING US. I'VE BEEN THE ONLY ONE REACHING OUT AND TRYING!"

He muttered something only he could hear.

"Speak up."

"Well I didn't ask you to reach out. I didn't even ask you to try."

"Well I shouldn't have. Being the Monkey Kings successor got to your head. You're just some two-bit hero."

"Nice talking to you Mei."

"Goodbye Mk."

Goddamn it.

He screwed it all up.

What in the actual fuck is wrong with him.

He couldn't do anything.

He just fucks it all up.

He's the reason people get hurt.

He was the reason that Lady Bone Demon could take over.

He was a terrible fucking person.

He didn't deserve anything he had.

He should've just rotted away.

Sank into the earth and become part of it.

When he lay in his bed he could feel the rot setting in his bone.

Seeping into his core.

His core.

Maybe that's why he's so disgusting.

He walked to his fridge.

He pulled out a can.

The alcohol burned.

His throat was on fire.

But there was a sweet aftertaste on his tongue.

The liquid settled in his stomach and left it feeling warm.

He should grab another.

Just to make sure he couldn't feel the rot.

The second time there was less of a burn.

He could feel how filthy he was.

How shitty of a hero he was.

He needed to fix it.

To put himself back in line.

He had promised Mei he would stop.

But with the friendship shattered and his mind clouded he couldn't bring himself to care.

He walked to the bathroom.

He opened a drawer.

He was glad he hadn't gotten rid of the pocket knife.

His knife.

He contemplated just digging into a vein right then and there but, that went against everything he was trying to do.

He wasn't about to take the easy way out.

When has life ever been easy for him.

He pressed the knife against his forearm.

The cool metal stung.

He pushed harder.

Deeper.

Dragging it across his arm, a white line appeared.

It wasn't bleeding yet, but you could clearly see that the skin was pulled apart there.

Slowly but surely, a red, sticky liquid seeped into the wound.

It stung, but it felt familiar.

Like home.

Pain was the constant.

It was his home.

As much as he loved the noodle shop, he would never click.

He was the stray that Tang and Pigsy took in.

The gullible foster fuck-up who really thinks he can be loved.

Thought.

He thought he could be a part of it.

This place wasn't home.

Home was back with him.

He slashed across his arm again.

Harder.

The pain wasn't enough.

It wasn't working.

Before he knew it, his apartment had a metallic scent to it.

The kitchen sink was red tinged.

Why was he in the kitchen?

He didn't want to be in the kitchen.

His mouth felt like cotton.

He stumbled over to his bed.

His head hurt.

He felt stupid.

But, he still felt better than he had in a long time.

Mk felt like absolute shit.

His head hurt, he felt like he was going to throw up, every light was too bright and his arm stung.

To make it worse, there was nobody he could go to.

He felt like such an idiot.

He couldn't even talk to Casey.

He had warned Mk to be careful but Mk just ignored him like that?

Everything was his own fault and he needed to power through it

He somehow managed to drag himself out of bed and throw on his work uniform, though he felt like he was about to throw up all over the floor.

Mk hauled himself down the stairs.

For some reason he felt like Pigsy knew.

But, there was no logical way he could know?

It just felt like he was going to be screamed at as soon as he was in the restaurant.

To his surprise, Pigsy's face had a look of concern.

"Hey kiddo, are you okay? I heard what happened with Mei?"

Mk stared at his scuffed converse.

"I want you to know that you can talk with me whenever about whatever, I may not know much about this monkey kid business, but I still know about other struggles with... Mental health?"

Pigsy looked like he was struggling to find the right words.

Mk dug his nails into his palms.

"I just want you to know that me and Tang will always be there for you, even if-"

Mk's head started throbbing.

He couldn't hear anything.

His blood was rushing in his ears.

He wanted to get out this place with it's much too bright lights.

"I- Thanks... Dadsy"

Pigsy looked both shocked and delighted.

Mk hadn't called him that in months.

He has been such a selfish son these last few months.

He could change with his new system.

He would make himself better, while keeping his shameful secrets confined to his blood soaked apartment.

Chapter Text

Mk was exhausted.

He had been working all day.

When it was time for his break he decided to train.

He couldn't stay weak.

He needed to protect the people he loved.

They were all that mattered.

He knew somewhere in the back of his mind he couldn't keep this up, but he would sure fucking try.

He had just clocked off, and he needed something to do, so he decided to bother  Casey.

Besides, the walk was one of the only things he could even bring himself to enjoy.

Once he got to the liquor store, he couldn't find Casey inside.

He decided to head around to the back entrance.

"Casey?"

He heard a faint 'shit' and coughing.

"Just a sec."

Mk stepped closer.

He noticed Casey waving away smoke with one hand. In the other, a cigarette was placed between two fingers.

"Hey Mk! Um, how's my favorite twink?"

"I told you to stop calling me a twink," Mk replied, giving him a look.

"Please don't tell Michael that I'm smoking on my break."

"Why would I even talk to him?"

Casey sighed, "I don't even know, he says if he catches me one more time he's gonna tell Dee and I cannot deal with that right now."

"Nah dude, I get it. One time my boss threatened to fire me cause I was late to work."

"What? Dude, isn't he your Dad?"

"Yeah. Everybody knows that all his threats are empty though," Mk explained with a wave of his hand.

Casey nodded, and took a drag of his cig.

"Hey dude... Could I have one?" Mk asked hesitantly, hands shaking.

He couldn't fucking believe what he just said, but it was too late to take it back.

Casey had a look of disbelief, but he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of Newport Menthol 100's.

He used to have a preference for Marlboro Gold's, but at this point a cigarette was a cigarette.

Casey held out a cig and a Zippo lighter towards Mk.

The lighter had a tarot card on it.

Mk wasn't sure which one, but it had two skeleton's embracing each other on it.

He took a deep breath.

He flipped open the lighter.

He lit the cig.

He pressed it to his lips.

He inhaled.

"Wow. I cannot believe that the high and mighty Monkie Kid smokes!" Casey shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

"Shut up," Mk shoved Casey to the side.

"Whatever, you wanna come hang at my place?" 

There it was. The question Mk had been dreading. He liked Casey but, he wasn't sure he could deal right now.

He had been trying to keep him at arms length but, if he gave in and hung out with Casey they would officially be friends. Not just friendly strangers.

And then he would let down another person.

He couldn't do that to Casey.

"It's kinda late, how about next Monday?"

"Fine. But I'm holding you to it," Casey said, nudging me.

Damnit. He really couldn't get out of this. He took a deep breath and smiled, trying not to cry.

"OH MY GOD! You need to meet my girlfriend she's literally the best. S-"

Mk tuned out Casey. Everything that just happened had just hit him.

He had just relapsed.

He felt sick, and it wasn't just the nicotine. He should've known that drinking would lead to other shit.

He was such an idiot. He could feel his breath getting tighter, his chest getting heavier, his throat closing. He could vaguely hear Casey saying something.

Mk stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk. He couldn't breathe.

The smoke was choking him, but there wasn't any. He was hyperventilating. He tried to pump air into his lungs, but there wasn't any.

He jolted when he felt a cold hand on his shoulder.

Cold.

Ice.

He screwed his eyes shut. All of a sudden he was back there. With her.

The only thing he could hear was the blood rushing to his ears, and someone talking in the distance. What were they saying?

"-UDE DUDE????"

Mk opened his eyes. There were black spots lining his vision. He could see the lights of the city. It was too bright. He tried to close his eyes again but he heard someone yell.

"SHIT. No no no. Don't close your eyes."

Mk opened them again. His vision was blurry, but he saw blue hair. He tried to talk, but his throat was dry and it hurt. His head also hurt.

He tried to lift his arms but they were too heavy.

"Uhhh shit. I can't fucking remember what to when someone has a panic attack," Casey started tugging on his hair.

Mk decided to interrupt before Casey also started panicking.

"T's not a panic attack."

Casey dropped his hands to his side, "are you fucking with me right now?"

Mk extended his arm, feeling the rough concrete wall.

"No really, are you okay?"

Gripping the wall, Mk pulled himself up.

"Man, if you need to talk to someone I'm always here."

Balancing on the wall, his savior, he pulled out his staff.

"And if you can't talk to me what about that blue guy you talk about? Or one of your Dads."

"I gotta to go now, nice talking with you!" Mk yelled, before extending his staff, and shooting into the distance.

As much as his body begged to head straight home he had to stop somewhere else first.

He landed right in front of the closest gas station to his house and walked up to the register.

He was already a shitty person anyway. As much as he pretended to be a good one, he was born a failure.

What did a broken promise, on top of all the other misdeeds from his past matter?

"Can I get a pack of Marlboro Gold's please?"

Chapter Text

Mei regretted what she said to Mk 

She was just so mad, and she got caught up in the heat of the moment.

She needed to make things right, they had known each other since they were nine.

Mei couldn't lose him like that.

She decided to go to his apartment, she wouldn't let her emotions get the best of her and they could just talk.

She pulled herself onto the fire escape and knocked on his window. While she waited for him she looked around the balcony.

His plants were dead.

Mei furrowed her eyebrows at this new information. As irresponsible Mk could be at times, he never forgot to water his plants.

She was growing more concerned by the second. Eventually she decided to stop waiting and pushed open his window.

After she climbed in, she had come to the conclusion that Mk wasn't here.

She should've left then and there, but she decided to start poking around, when they made up, she could apologize about this too.

His apartment was in the normal amount of disarray. She couldn't spot anything abnormal until she got to the bathroom.

There was a razor blade sitting on the sink counter.

Her heart dropped to her stomach.

He couldn't. He had promised.

This was her fault, how had she not known? How could she let it get this bad, How could she cut him out.

God, she needed to find him and fix things.

Mei decided to start walking around the area his apartment was in. If he wasn't there he might be somewhere around here.

She was just surprised he even left his apartment.

She pushed the bitter thoughts away, That didn't matter right now.

They could talk about that later, Once they had made up and once Mk was in a better mindset.

She looked across the street, she saw some blue haired guy staggering in the opposite direction.

He seemed to be holding someone up.

Mind racing, she put off finding Mk till later.

Mk wasn't the only person that need help.

"Hey, are you two alright?"

A panicked look fell across the stranger's face. He attempted to shuffle the other man away from her point of view.

That raised multiple questions and put her on edge

"Um... we're just a little drunk Miss, sorry to concern you"

Mei was on high alert, what was he trying to hide? She placed a hand on the hilt of her sword, And was about to ask him to turn around when the other person spoke up.

"Casey, my maaaan. w-whats are you talking to?""

Mei was frozen with realization.

"Mk?"

The other man looked extremely uncomfortable. Muttering to himself, he rested his head in his hands.

"I really don't want to get caught up in any drama, especially the Monkey Kid's drama. Please don't kill me, scary dragon lady."

Mk pushed him away away

"Mei? what're you doin' here? I thought you hated me?"

Those words felt like a punch in the gut.

"Mk please, I was wrong. I know I was. I need to make it up to you"

"You were right. m'a failure!" He shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

"Mk, you're drunk. let's get you home and when you're sober, talk this over with Pigsy later,"

Mei tried to grab his shoulders, but as soon as she mentioned Pigsy, Mk flinched and curled in on himself.

"NO no no no no, he's gonna be so maaad, he's gonna send me back."

"Mk what? what are you talking about?"

"I can't let him know, I can't, I-" 

Mei couldn't tell what else he said because he broke into sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Mk come on, whatever happened we can fix it!"

at this point Mei didn't even try to hold back her tears. How could she let it get this bad.

"J-Just go!"

She couldn't move, was this going to play out like the last time they had an argument? Were they going to be trapped in an endless cycle of tears and words dripping in malice.

Running through everything that had happened in her head she realized she had been selfish.

Refusing to listen was an obvious one, reaching out over and over was for her benefit, even looking for him to mend their friendship was selfish. Maybe he didn't want to fix it, but she didn't even think about that.

Selfish

 Mk had obviously felt safer confiding with the man he had been walking with earlier than her, and that was on her. She should've just listened.

That didn't matter, it was his choice. She reached a conclusion, their friendship wasn't what was important. It was Mk's well-being.

Rubbing away the stinging in her eyes, she slowly placed a hang on Mk's shoulder. He flinched, and she instantly retracted it.

"Mk I will leave you alone if you promise you will get better, maybe you could talk to your friend. Just... Promise me?"

He looked up, electric green eyes meeting watery espresso colored ones.

Mk slowly nodded, almost seeming reluctant.

She wouldn't let herself linger on that fact, instead choosing to turn away and nod back.

She saw the other man help Mk up.

She saw him start walking Mk home.

She saw the duo having to stop to let Mk throw up in the street.

After that Mei couldn't bear to watch any longer, she ran. 

There was nobody to hold her tears back for, but she still rubbed at her eyes until they were raw.

What she didn't see was Mk's hands shaking.

She didn't see him insist on pushing onwards alone.

She didn't see him start sobbing as soon as he crossed the threshold of his apartment, mourning the loss of his best friend for the second time.

Chapter Text

Mk didn't realize how lonely he was getting.

At first, when he cut everyone off he still talked to them, he just didn't see them very often. Then, when he and Mei's friendship started falling apart he just talked to Casey a bit more, he could even pretend that everything was fine.

Now that Mei had ended their friendship officially, it hurt. He would lurk on the edges of other friendships and relationships, watching, but never interacting.

It hurt the most watching his old friends. Laughing and having fun, he knew it was his own choice but he couldn't bring himself to go back to them. They deserved better than him anyway.

The worst part was Mk ended his and Mei's friendship on a lie, he couldn't even be transparent with her when he wouldn't ever talk to her again.

He kept up small talk with Casey and their girlfriend, if only for his own sanity. Even then he managed to avoid them a large portion of the time.

Maybe he did realize how lonely he was. Maybe he didn't want to admit it.

The days kept on passing by, everyone kept moving but Mk. He felt like he was standing still, partially in a drug induced haze.

After Mei left, his convictions also left. I mean, whatever works to get him out of his own head for once. 

As long as he wasn't thinking about them.

He guessed that was how he ended up at this party, as juvenile as it seems. He wasn't some crazy college student, the kind you think of when you hear about drug infested get togethers like the one he was at right now.

Mk didn't even want to be here, as much as he loved a good distraction, he actually had plans tonight.

Even if those plans were chain-smoking on a roof with his sketchbook. Maybe he would've walked around the city, looking for villains to stop.

Instead he was stuck in a stuffy apartment that smelled of sweat, weed, and cheep booze.

He guessed he could make the best of the situation if he really had to. Go down some shots, smoke a little weed, then he might have a socially acceptable amount of 'fun'. At least, enough to be able to leave without getting harassed.

He really didn't want to be here, there were too many people and it was much too hot in here, and he could feel all the people pressing against him. Sweaty, sticky skin making contact with his own skin. It was all too much, he couldn't breathe in here, with so many other people restraining him, crushing him, the air was choking him. He needed to get out.

His eyes darted around the room, frantically searching for an exit. A person was approaching him, what did she want? He couldn't breathe.

She was getting closer, he opened his mouth to say something, to push the sounds out of his mouth. It was so simple. Why couldn't he just do it? Was there something in his lungs? 

God, something must be crushing him, holding him back, holding his lungs, his words, his will. He couldn't even move his mouth to shape the words. He felt like he was stranded, suspended where he was stuck.

She was here, she was saying something. He couldn't hear it, he didn't recognize her. Why was she talking to him? Would someone come save him? Where was Mei? She could help him. He couldn't hear what this other girl was saying, but he could see her laughing. What was funny? She moved her hand, Was she going to pull him away from where he was stuck?

She was touching him, she had her hand up his shirt. She was leaning in. Was she going to hurt him? Why was she coming closer? He didn't like feeling the skin against his skin.

She pulled away for a second when she felt what was under his shirt, she faltered for a moment before she smiled again. Her mouth was moving, she was saying something. She leaned back in again, his chest was heaving. He couldn't breathe anymore, he couldn't. He was moving his chest, but he couldn't. Why couldn't he? What was happening? He felt skin pressing against his lips, then against everything else. It burned and it clung to his skin like melting wax, but he was also made of wax, and when he tried to push up, to get it off of him, he just went through. His skin was too hot and soft and malleable and he wasn't in control. 

He needed to leave now.

He stumbled through the people, he could hear the girl calling out for him, but her words were just a buzz in the back of his head. He just needed to get out, he would suffocate if he was here any longer.

He pushed his way through the people, where was the door he had come through? He found himself walking straight into someone, he tried to push an apology out of his chest, but he just couldn't. He thinks he vaguely recognizes this person, but he can't figure out who they are.

They place a gentle hand on his shoulder and he fan hear their low concerned tone, but he can't focus on them. Their touch hurts, he doesn't want anything touching him, he just wants to leave. He never wanted to be here anyway, and now he was trapped. 

His eyes are hazy and unfocused, but he thinks he sees the door, it has to be the door. He shakily brings his hand up to his shoulder to push off the other person. He runs away, not seeing the hurt in their eyes, not even registering who it was.

That's a problem for once he gets out.

He reaches the door, and his hands are almost shaking too much to open it, but he wrapped his fingers around the doorknob and slips out into the cool night air. The pressure in his chest lifts, and he finds enough energy in himself to climb up onto a rooftop.

He sits on the edge, if his thoughts were a bit more coherent he would contemplate what would happen if he fell, but at the moment the only thing he can focus on is bringing his cigs out of his pocket, and hoping his fingers were calm enough to light it.

When he brings it up to his mouth and inhales the nicotine and tar, letting it seep into his lungs, he can breathe for the first time all night.

Chapter Text

The night air nipped at Mk's cheeks. He looked down to the ground from the roof and wondered what would happen if he just... let go.

Would anybody notice, if they did would they even care? Had he made a difference in anybody's life? Had he made enough of an impact to be remembered? What had he done with his miserable little life?

He helped some people, but he had hurt more people with his negligence than he had saved.

God, if he had just done more, listened better, been a better hero, if he had been anyone but himself. 

He took another drag of his cigarette, shame squirming under his skin. He could feel hot tears building up and burning behind his eyes. He shed his jacket, carefully placing it beside him, lightly running his hands along his arms, trying to keep the chill out of his bones.

Craving some sense of warmth, he put the cigarette stub out on his wrist, reveling in the white hot pain lighting up his nervous system. 

Looking down at the passers-by, legs dangling over the edge, he thought about what would happen if he just... slipped. He wouldn't need to be Mk anymore, he wouldn't need to be Wukongs successor, or The Monkie Kid, or the Hero or the Warrior.

He would be nothing more than a stain an the pavement. 

It really would be better for everyone if he just wasn't here anymore. Wukong could find a new, better, successor. His friends could continue on without him, and probably be better for it.

His fathers...  they might be sad at first, but they would get over it eventually, realize that this was the best way he could've gone. Rather than dying a violent, abrupt, death with no warning against DBK or some random villain of the week.

This was Mk's choice, his choice wasn't particularly glamorous or honorable, but at least it was his.

As soon as he came to this conclusion he could've sworn he felt almost warmer, though, he didn't feel any lighter, like something had been lifted from his shoulders. He just felt tired, like he was ready to finally rest.

It's funny, for something that feels so much like letting go, it takes a push to get him off the ledge.

A push.

He's finally ready to rest. 

He feels sorry he didn't leave a note. 

He extends his arms behind him.

Slowly sliding off.

His heart is pounding out of his chest. 

He gives that final push.

For just a moment he feels a rush of exilleration and relief he's never felt before in his life,

Before he feels a pair of hands grab him by his underarms. He's been caught, and he's being pulled back up. He can't breathe for a second as he's thrown back onto the roof. He tries to get the air back in his lungs, and hears somebody talking.

"Why the fuck would you do that? Huh?"

Mk opens his mouth to answer, but they don't give him the chance. As his brain is catching up on the situation, he starts to recognize that voice. He can feel his heart sinking, he was so fucked.

"You have a family! What if I hadn't been around to save you, what would you have done then, noodle boy?"

Mk sits up and sees Redson pacing back and forth, waving his hands in increasingly more animated gestures. He looks stressed, his hair flaming behind him. Mk really couldn't imagine why he was reacting like this.

"No, seriously, what the fuck do you have to say for yourself? What could you possibly say to- to fix this?"

Mk finally finds the words to speak up, "Don't know why you even care, isn't your entire goal to defeat me? Should've let me fall." He lets out a dry, self deprecating laugh, before resting his head on his knees.

Redson stops for a moment, turning around to look at Mk. He rubs his eyes, then he reaches out his hand towards Mk and makes a little gesture.

"Okay, hand me your phone."

Mk makes a face, confused and annoyed. "Why? What do you need it for?" 

Redson lets out a long suffering sigh, and visibly restrains himself from snapping at Mk. "I need to call someone for you, obviously."

"What? No- no! Why?"

Redson looks disgusted just at the question.

"You obviously can't be alone right now! You need someone to help you through this! Whatever 'this' is."

Mk looked up at him, hands trembling. "Please, you can't tell them, I- I let them down time and time again, I can't- this- I can't face them after this."

A look of recognition came over Redson's face and his features softened. He sits down next to Mk, staring out at the night sky. And for just a while, they sit, and they exist. Mk knows that Redson will end up dragging him back to Pigsy's soon enough, and he'll have to tell his friends and family what happened, and what's been going on.

He knows he has a problem. He has multiple problems. But he doesn't have to think about any of that right now. He can just exist for this moment.