Work Text:
Saturday, December 3rd, 2022
“Next you place the dandelion root, crushed, into-”
“I'm a girl!”
Remus bit her lower lip, chewed on it really. She was sitting on a couch in the Room of Requirement with her boyfriend, Severus Snape, who was helping her study for the upcoming test in potions....Now Severus was just sitting there silently, looking at her face, but not her.
“I'm sorry, Sev, but....I'm a girl.” Remus repeated. She hadn't even meant to say it the first time, but there was no going back now.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Well....You sort of surprised me at first, we weren't talking about gender or anything, and you basically just said it out of nowhere, but, okay....I don't mind or anything, and you don't need to be sorry.” Severus explained, sounding a bit confused, but certainly not angry.
Remus felt an odd emotion course through her. Regret....Why did she regret this? Severus was fine with it, and she was happy to not have to keep it to herself anymore....But....It was all sort of anticlimactic.
Remus had spent so much time thinking about this moment. She imagined tears, anxiety, dysphoria and/or euphoria, hatred, loving words. She didn't know what would happen, really, but she definitely never expected 'okay'.
“Okay?” Remus merely repeated, lost to what the correct response right now was.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah....I don't know....”
“I really promise I'm okay with all this. I don't want to say I don't care, because I do, but it's not a negative thing, really. Still, I'm sure it's scary.”
Remus wasn't scared. She had been, for about ten seconds, but now....She just felt sort of confused and numb.
This wasn't supposed happen.
“We should talk....Can I ask you some questions?”
“As many as you want.” Remus finally felt the expected relief. Except it wasn't over being accepted, she was just glad to now have a clear path to follow.
“What's your name? Is it still Remus, or do you want to change it?”
“Well, I've never really liked being named Remus, not only is he the weaker twin because Romulus killed him, but also, after becoming a werewolf, it was just too metaphorical. But, since realizing I was trans....Well, I it feels different being a girl called Remus, than a boy.”
“So, still Remus?” Severus confirmed.
“For now....It might change later, though, if that's okay.”
“Of course it's okay. It's your name, now mine....But, what about your middle name, John? Are you keeping that too?”
“No....I want to change it to Hope, after my mom, but....I want to get her reaction to my gender first, so if she isn't accepting, I don't have a reminder of it.”
“That's a pretty name. Remus Hope Lupin.” Severus assured with a gentle smile. “How about pronouns? Adjectives? Gendered terms?”
“Um....She/They, with a She/Her preference. All feminine stuff like girl, miss, ma'am, girlfriend, etc....Partner is also okay, but only used on occasion....Are we still dating?”
“Why wouldn't we be?”
“You're gay.” Remus reminded.
“Homoflexible.”
“Homoflexible?”
“I'm mostly attracted to men, but occasionally a woman will catch my eye. Usually it's a fictional character or famous person, but not always. For example: you.”
“Then why have you always said you were gay?”
Severus shrugged. “It's easier than explaining every time someone asks. Besides, I wasn't entirely sure before, but I am now.”
“If you were just gay, would be break up?”
“Only if it made you uncomfortable being with a gay guy....Remus, you know I'm not dating you because I thought you were a boy, right? You could be a cis girl and I would still have asked you out, because I like you, not your identity.”
“Oh.” Remus didn't know what else to say, but....The regret was ebbing away, just a little. “I like you too....”
Severus smiled, more humorously now than his last few. “I would hope so.”
“Just thought you deserved a reminder.” Remus, for the first time that day, smiled back.