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The mission was meant to be simple.
“No…no, no, no, no…”
It was grab and go.
“Simon…please…”
It was the four of them what could go wrong.
“NOOO! Simon this isn’t funny c’mon…”
The mission was going well.
“SIMON!”
Until it wasn’t.
“please…”
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It has now been 5 hours since the infamous Ghost passed away. The flight back home from the mission was rough to say the least. Johnny cradled Simon’s corpse sobbing. When they landed Johnny was a mess not letting anyone near him or take Simon away. Price had to physically restrain Johnny, soon after landing the tarmac was getting busier with rookies wanting to see the 141 after a mission. But were shown the sight of Ghost being put in a body bag with Johnny screaming and crying along with the 141 in tears.
Word spread fast around base that Ghost died. Training stopped; missions stopped. Everything stopped. Everyone was shocked, Ale and Rudy were on the first flight over, Laswell was overseas and making her way back as well with something for Johnny.
It was now 10 hours since Simon Passed. Johnny hadn’t left Simon’s room, cuddling up in his bed with his clothes breathing in his scent, he hadn’t stopped crying. The utter heartbreak was something hard for them all.
A quiet knock on the door brought back Johnny from his dissociation. The door slowly opened and Laswell appeared stepping in slowly making her way over to the bed. She sat down and rubbed a hand over Johnny’s face like a motherly touch.
“I know this is hard, but Simon wrote this for you, incase he ever…passed. He told me to give it to you as soon as I could and to not read it so its all yours…take your time.” Laswell carefully placed a letter beside Johnny's head. “Also these.” She muttered, a small jingle echoed through the room which caught Johnny’s attention sitting up. She placed the object in his hand and closed his fist, she got up and left.
Johnny was once again alone, he looked down at his fist and slowly opened it. Tears rapidly swelled and left, running down his cheek. He carefully lifted the tags and thumbed over the name. ‘Simon Riley’. Sobs filled the room once again as he held Simon’s tags close to his heart.
It was now 24 hours since Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley had passed away. Johnny hadn’t slept, hadn’t eaten, hadn’t done anything but lay in bed. He had the tags around his neck and was constantly rubbing over the markings. His eyes gazed around landing on the letter next to his head. He carefully picked it up and sat up looking at his. ‘Johnny’ was what was on the front, he slowly opened the letter and pulled out the pages.
Tears fell from his swollen eyes as he read.
Dear Johnny.
If you’re reading this, then I’m dead, I was buried again and this time I’m not making it out. I’m writing this on our 6th month anniversary, not a very romantic way to spend the day. I wanted to write this, a letter to you, so when I inevitably die you will have this part of me, I wrote this because you are the one for me, I realised it. I was never good at expressing my feelings as verbal words, so this letter is full those feelings I could never express to you.
You Johnny MacTavish are the best thing that has ever happened to me. The night we met, when you came up to me for the first time, with your stupid cute little mohawk, and your stupid cute little grin, and when you punched my shoulder as if we had known each other our whole lives, as if you saw me, Simon, and not just Ghost. When you said, ‘Let’s get us a win L.t’ and when you did in fact save me a seat. That night my heart let go of the cold surrounding it, you managed to punch a tiny little crack helping it feel again, me feel again.
You, Johnny MacTavish, were so stupid, when you said you would go into that mansion, I was so worried. When I watched them put that bag over your head and took you in, at least Ale could help make sure you were safe. When we successfully caught Valeria and Questioned her. I was just glad that you were safe and close to me.
You Johnny MacTavish. When I called for you over the comms, the first time I’ve felt suffocating fear when you didn’t respond, when I didn’t know where you were, if you were safe, if you were alive. All alone in the streets of Las Almas. And when you finally responded I had never been more relieved in my entire life, hearing your stupid cute accent telling me you were solid. Might I add even though you WERENT! That night was tough stupid Graves so glad he’s dead. I was so happy when I saw you, when we made it out, when we made it to Ale’s safehouse and saw Rudy, when we made out plans and got revenge. Together.
You Johnny MacTavish, made me almost have a heart attack when you were being led to that window by Hassan, the adrenaline ran through me like crazy. Watching him fall instead of you was such a relief. I remember when we were going back home you fell asleep on my shoulder and I could never be happier, to have you so close to me safe and sound.
You, Johnny MacTavish, were so flustered the night you blurted out those three words. I remember that night every time I go to sleep, I burned it into my memory. Even though we were at that stupid little bar, and you were a bit tipsy I still believed you. The way my heart skipped a beat, I loved you so much in that moment, the way you looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes. God, I love you so much. I remember our first kiss, it was so soft, sweet and passionate. The way you touched me so softly so gently. I never understood how you could love someone like me, a stone-cold killer, how you could touch me so gently and kiss me so dearly.
You, Johnny MacTavish, are the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on. I love you so fucking much, and I would do literally anything for you. The love you showered me in every day, the way you put up with all of my nightmares, all my mood swings, my ptsd, my challenges. Just everything about me you put up with. And I love you so much for it, I love you everyday more and more. I’m so glad that I was worthy of your love. Of you. And I’m so sorry that you did have to put up with me through my worst. I’m so sorry if I never got to meet your family, I know you were so excited for me to meet them, I hope I did I really do, the way you talked about your sisters, and your mum. It made me so envious to have such a sweet loving family.
You, Johnny MacTavish, are the sweetest thing in this world, the way your smile would light up any room instantly. The rookies always loved you; you were so carefree and sweet. Gaz loved you, you were best friends, and when you two would walk in a room with shitty cheeky grins. You still made me fall in love all over again. When we would have game nights with the boys, you and Rudy would dance around drunk and be so chaotic poor Price getting grey hairs. When you and Ale would be last in poker, and he would get so upset thinking you were cheating. Or when you would get upset with Price thinking he was cheating. Which love, he is cheating, sly bastard.
You Johnny MacTavish were the sweetest with me, when we would spend each night cuddled up together, falling asleep, although usually I never told you but most nights, I would stay awake watching you sleep soundly, worried that something would happen, and I would never get that feeling again. I loved when you would annoy me all day wanting to spar and then not even get one win in. I loved when you would kiss me gently, kiss away the tears after a shitty nightmare and hold me softly. I loved when you would banter with me over comms, although it was mostly flirting. I loved when you would tease me when I was watching you through my scope, God Johnny you got such a fat ass. I loved when we got back from a mission and we’d go straight to one of our rooms and I’d pin you down and you would become a crying mess, you were so beautiful, still are, I’m sure. I loved when you would softly hum that Scottish lullaby. I loved when you would call me those Gaelic names. I loved when you would speak those stupid Gaelic phrases. I loved when you would draw in your book. I loved when you would blush when I looked at you in a certain way. I loved when you would trace each scar on my face. I loved when you would kiss each scar. I loved when you would take care of me after a mission. I loved when you would patch me up. I loved when you would wear my hoodie that was too big for you.
Johnny MacTavish, I love you more than anything in this world, and even in the grave I will love you forever. You are the most beautiful, sweetest, cutest, man ever. I love you so so so so fucking much. I am so sorry that you have to read this. I am so sorry I failed to make it back home with you. I am so sorry you have to sleep alone tonight. I am so sorry you have to live without me. I love you so much I love you, I love you, I love you. Please live a good life. Live a healthy life. Let Gaz listen to you and take care of you when you cry, Let Price get you food and take care of you, Let Ale and Rudy try their best to cheer you up. I know how hard it must feel I couldn’t even begin to imagine loosing you. But fuck Johnny, I love you so much okay, I love you so fucking much and I’m sorry I hardly told you.
I wish we could go back to the night we met. Just take me back to the night we met. To see your cute mohawk, to see your cute smile.
I’m sorry Johnny. I love you so much.
Love your dearest Boyfriend Simon Riley.