Work Text:
***
*** three letters and a Tao ***
***
Tao:
Charlie!!!
ffs!
Charlie:
Shut uppp
Work is boooooring
Nobody’s gonna stop me from reading a book for my coursework
Not my fault when it’s about
Greek gods and love
And have you seen those statues?
They leave nothing to the imagination
Nothing!
Tao:
you and your obsession with the Greek
like
next level obsession.
Charlie:
TAO!
I’m here to be entertained!
Not for Charlie-slander
Tao:
well then stop gushing about greek gods!
Charlie:
I wasn’t gushing
Tao:
<<His dick must’ve been huge!>>
yeah, you’re right, my words were too kind
you’re more like a horny fuck
Charlie:
Fuck you
*leaves the chat*
Tao:
as if. you’re bored, you don’t have any other options
Charlie:
I hate it when you’re right
Elle?
Isaac?
Isaac:
sorry. I’m back
talk of greek gods and dicks requires popcorn
Charlie:
Isaac!
Oh no.
Oh nonono!
I just conjured him up!
Tao:
what? greek? dick? GOD??
Charlie:
Tao!
Don’t know about his dick
Yet
I’m talking about a Greek GOD, ffs
Just entering the shop
Shit
Elle:
Tell me more!
Tao:
Elle! So now you choose to participate?
Elle:
Sorry. Huge dicks and greek gods seem to be a nice enough combination to join you lot
Charlie:
Gusy!
*Guys!
Ldfkajgzegwofwo!
Hell!
That must be the most beautiful man in existence!
To ever grace the earth
Isaac:
oh god. I think we’ve lost him
Tao:
Charlie?
don’t you have work to do?
like, actually help customers?
Charlie:
He IS a customer!
I DO help him
I observe him carefully
Like they do for observational studies
From afar
Trying to guess what book he might want
So I can captivate him with my suggestions
Obviously
Elle:
Obviously
Isaac:
obviously
Tao:
I hope you can actually FEEL how hard I’m rolling my eyes
it hurt
Charlie:
Oh no, he’s coming over!
Help!
What could he want
Tao:
is he surprised by being approached by a customer?
I can’t deal with him when he’s infatuated
Elle:
Charlie:
False alarm
Agaljlsadjlf
What the fuck just happened
Isaac:
*munching popcorn*
Charlie:
He started to walk towards me
Towards the register
Then he looked up
Stared straight into my eyes
I died just a little
HIS EYES!
Like pools of honey
I could drown in them
He’s so fucking gorgeous!
God of the gays, I love you!
Elle:
Charlie!
Get to the point!
Charlie:
Elle!
Anyway
I guess he doesn’t like me the way I love him
As soon as he saw me his eyes went wide
Like a deer caught in the headlights
It was almost comical
Then he pulled his friend/girlfriend/person he’s with into the next aisle
I mean, what?
Now I hear them giggle
They landed in the adult section
I have no pity for them
Isaac:
I need more popcorn, this is better than any movie!
sorry Tao
Charlie!!
what is happening now?
Elle:
Oh my.
This is so good!
Tao:
You crushing on a straight guy AGAIN?
Elle:
Tao, that’s what you take from this??
I have to re-evaluate our relationship
Charlie ignore him, go on!
Charlie:
Well
I hear them whispering
Or more, she whisper-shouts and he tries to shush her
But I’m too far away to understand anything properly
Should I go to them and ask if I can help?
I’m intrigued!
Elle:
Yes! I like confident Charlie!
Charlie:
Curiosity wins over being flustered
As usual
Isaac:
I’m seriously considering making a casual appearance at the book store.
I have a feeling where this is going to and I REALLY NEED TO SEE THAT
Elle:
Isaac!
I think I know what you’re thinking
meet me there in 5?
Aargh, just kidding, I can’t leave right now, have to finish this coursework
BUT I WANT SO BADLY!
Charlie:
I don’t know what you’re talking about?
What do you mean?
Elle:
Charlie, wait, are you dumb?
Tao:
don’t get his hopes up!
greek god is there WITH A WOMAN!
Isaac:
so? when I’m on the road with Elle I’m ALSO WITH A WOMAN!
Tao:
now I’m rolling my eyes at YOU, Isaac
you know what I mean
Isaac:
Charlie??
don’t leave us hanging here!
you know what?
I’m coming over
Charlie:
Isaac!
No, you’re not!
I’ll stop your discount on books if you do!
Isaac:
I’m pretty certain it'll be worth it
Charlie:
ISAAC!
I swear to god if you do that-
I’m thinking about a proper punishment
But until then
Should I go over?
Elle:
YES!
Charlie:
So
I started to walk over to them
Couldn’t help but eavesdrop as I approached them
So now I’m hiding
Literally behind some spy novels
Oh the irony!
But
GUYS!!!
He has the most beautiful voice! Such a warm timbre, like honey, soothing my poor gay soul
Isaac:
for the love of god, stop waxing poetic!
Charlie:
I’m still standing there!
Still processing!
Elle:
I’m WAITING
Charlie:
Jesus fucking christ, guys!
So, his name is apparently Nick
Nick!
Could he be more perfect?
Anyway
I haven’t talked to them yet
Just listening to his sweet, sweet voice
Tao:
OK CHARLIE WE GET IT YOU FANCY HIM! jesus
but what are they talking about?
Isaac:
Charlie, you’re a fucking menace
just tell already!
Charlie:
Ok
This is fun!
Elle:
You tease!
Charlie:
…
So…
She just told him to get his shit together
He’s like ‘I know but I can’t! how am I even supposed to?’
Now he just moaned
And my poor gay heart stopped for a second
Had to lean on a shelf
I almost fainted and had to fan myself like one of those Jane-Austen-Ladies
Elle:
fafjghalfai
Charlie! Stop! I’m wheezing here!
Tao:
oh god, she is
went to check
thank you for that!
but please, for the love of greek gods, GO ON
Charlie:
Elle!
Tao!
It’s not funny!
This Greek god is killing me
Tao:
and you haven’t even seen his dick
urgh
what the fuck is wrong with me
Charlie:
Tao!
I don’t need those images right now!
I need to keep my cool!
Don’t make me blush
ffs
Isaac:
Tao, Elle, shut up!
Charlie, keep on telling this fucking story!
Charlie:
Well
There’s no ‘fucking’ happening just now
But
They just laughed
And his laugh!
Let me tell you..
The sweetest sound on earth.
Forget children’s laugh or birds.
His laugh is the new standard
...
Nick
Tao:
I think we’ve lost him again.
I swear to god, it’s like when my little cousin tells a story
getting distracted after every sentence
Charlie:
Tao!
Ok
So they’re still laughing
Oh
I just heard a thud
I think she hit him somehow
Because he’s whining
My poor baby
She’s just hissed at him to ‘take this and ask him about it!’
Now there’s a silence
Hahaa, oh my god
He just said ‘Darcy, that’s basically porn!’
And she’s like ‘sounds perfect to me’
Shit
I don’t think I can hold back my laughter any longer
I can’t
Elle:
Charlie?
Don’t leave us hanging. What’s happening now?
Charlie:
So
I left my hiding spot
The urge to laugh became too strong
And I'm back at the counter again
I didn’t dare to approach them
I really don’t know what they’re up to
Isaac:
oh Charlie
Elle:
Oh Charlie
Aghaasdhj Isaac
Charlie:
What?
Elle:
…
Charlie, they were talking about you!
Sounds like your greek god is trying to find a reason to talk to you
Charlie:
No
You think so?
Elle:
Yes.
Isaac:
yes.
Tao:
unfortunately, yes.
Charlie:
Now I’m rolling my eyes at YOU
All of you
Hmm
But
Hmm
Tao:
we got him thinking
Isaac:
can’t believe how oblivious he can be
Charlie:
Shut up Tao
Shut up Isaac
They’re still hiding
Maybe I should go and check on them
Oh fuck
Here goes nothing
Wish me luck!
Elle:
And here I sit and act like I’m trying to get my coursework done
But I really don’t want to
I want to know what is happening SO BADLY
Isaac:
guys
I’m at the store now
oh
Charlie is right
Nick IS handsome
and I say that with all my ace heart
Elle:
ISAAC HENDERSON
You actually went there?
Isaac:
well, yes. I said I would!
Elle:
Yeah but..
Isaac I love you so much!
TELL. US. EVERYTHING!
Tao:
Isaac! You’re a fucking hero
I can’t with you!
Isaac:
so, I’m hiding behind the shelves
because what else
this is SO GOOD!
I just saw how that Darcy person pushed Nick towards Charlie
saying ‘my Nicky boy has a question he’d like to ask you’
our Charlie and Nicky boy both blushed HARD
then they looked at each other with dreamy eyes and smitten smiles
my poor heart
I think I just witnessed love at first sight
Elle
AWWWWWWW CHARLIE!!!!
Please, go on Isaac
Isaac:
anyway
Darcy just cackled and pushed Nick some more
causing him to trip and fall towards Charlie
he propped his arms against a shelf to stop himself from falling on him
arms left and right of Charlie’s head
literally caging him in!
now they’re staring into each other’s eyes
oh. my. god.
JUST KISS ALREADY!
Elle:
WHAAAAT????
Tao:
oh my fucking god!!!
are you recording that??
Isaac:
Tao!!
of course not!
Elle:
Pity
Could be used as blackmail material or at their wedding
Or both
NOW KEEP ON TALKING!
Isaac:
Charlie was right
this IS fun
Elle:
ISAAC HENDERSON!
Isaac:
Elle Argent?
well
they didn’t kiss
Nick pulled back
very slowly
flexing his muscles
our Charlie is transfixed
this is hilarious!!
I don’t want it to end
like never
Charlie’s now smiling at Nick
up through his lashes
showing dimples
now it’s Nick’s turn to be transfixed
asldklfjasldkj
I like those dorks already
I hear Darcy snicker
I'd too if I didn't have to give up my hiding place to do it
now we’re back to blushing and clearing throats
oh sweet lord have mercy!
this is too good to be true
Darcy has just whispered ‘Nick you’re such a bi-disaster, just ask him for his number already!’
to which Nick hissed back ‘You don’t know if he’s into men!’
and she practically screeches ‘I saw the way he looked at you!’
all this whilst Charlie is standing right NEXT TO THEM
Elle:
No way!!
Poor Charlie
Poor Nick
But also
Isaac:
Nick and Charlie are both so red now it’s not even funny anymore
unless
it is
oh Charlie my love
he just said ‘I am into men and I’d love to give you my number’ while looking deep into Nick's eyes
Elle:
CHARLIE!!!!
Go for it!
Isaac:
oh ffs
sdkafhdsda
you should see Nick’s smile
I’m blind now
you were right
I SHOULD HAVE RECORDED THAT
Tao:
…
Isaac:
Nick tried to be suave
I guess
since I don’t really know him
maybe that’s his usual way of flirting
but
HE’S JUST ASKED CHARLIE OUT ON A DATE!
for fucking tonight!
oh hell
now I’m twice as blind
I haven’t seen Charlie beam like that in like
forever I guess
he almost shouted his ‘yes’
I LOVE THOSE DORKS
ohmigod
Darcy’s started to clap hands
I can’t anymore
oh shit
Charlie:
ISAAC!!!
***
*** four letters and a Tao ***
***
Charlie:
I need entertaining AGAIN!
This is so boring
Why is nobody buying books today?
Tao:
wait, I thought Nick’s going to hang out with you today?
Charlie:
Nooo, he couldn’t, he had to help Sarah
Boo
I mean that he’s not here with me
Not boo Sarah
Tao:
So, you’d like to talk about greek dicks again?
Charlie:
TAO
Tao:
Nick’s dick?
Urgh no, I'd rather not
Charlie:
TAO ffs!!!!
Shut up!!!
Nick:
You guys know I’m part of this group chat now?
Charlie:
Of course love
Ignore Tao
I’m just glad you’re not able to see the messages that were sent before you were invited to it
Nick:
…
Charlie:
?
Tao:
…
Charlie:
???
Nick:
I don’t know how to break the news to you, love
But.
Tao kinda showed them to me the other day…
Charlie:
TAO!!!!!!!