Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nico's POV:

The minute I actually got myself to go to sleep, my alarm went off. Great. Just great.

I sighed, switching out my sweatpants for my trusty black jeans and slipping on my old aviator jacket, not bothering to change out of the shirt I used for pajamas. The jacket was ripped in a few places and way too big on me anyway, but it was my dad's, so... It meant a lot to me. When I put it on, it almost felt like he still cared about me.

Almost.

Stop it. Stop moping around, you know he can't help it. He's a grieving man, and you shouldn't resent him for that.

I slipped my shoes on, dark red converse, and stood up, letting my feet carry me to the door that separates us, turning the knob so I could wake her up. She looked so cute sleeping, hugging her pillow, her long golden brown hair sprawled out in a beautiful mess of tangled corkscrews, some darker, some lighter. I hated having to wake her up, but I knew she'd miss the bus if I didn't, and she wouldn't want to be late for her first day of sophomore year, so I gently shook her shoulder. "Hazy, c'mon... It's seven."

"Five more minutes, death breath." She groaned, popping one eye open. "It'll at least give you time to brush your friggin teeth."

My jaw dropped in mock scandal, my hand slapping my chest. "Hazel Levesque diAngelo, language!" I huffed theatrically. "I mean really, have all those years in catholic school taught you nothing? And it's only seven in the morning! You'll be using actual curse words by noon! Go to the bathroom and wash your mouth out with soap post haste, young lady!"

By the end of my teasing session, she was sitting up on the bed and laughing hysterically. "Alright, alright, I'm up, I'm up!" She protested, still rubbing the sleep out of one of her eyes. "And if anyone's mouth needs soaping up between the two of us, it's yours. I'm not just talking about all the cussing either."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine. I'll go brush my friggin teeth." I echoed over my shoulder, opening the door to the bathroom, shared between our rooms. "Oh, by the way? Good morning, love you."

I shut the door and squirted a glob of toothpaste onto my toothbrush, holding it in my mouth while I reached for the deodorant, because hey, why not? I've already gotten this far. I lifted one side of my shirt up and spread the stick under my arm, then the other, all the while trying not to focus much on the gaunt, pathetic body on display in the mirror, though... Of course I did. Thankfully, it was over in seconds, and I could let my shirt hang loosely off of me again, concealing my bones where my skin failed to.

It didn't take long after that for her to join me, brushing her own teeth in parallel with me, trying her best to, I think, ask me a question, despite her voice being muffled by the building foam in her mouth.

I spat in the sink and looked over at her. "What was that again?"

She followed my spit with hers and rinsed her mouth with a paper cup before speaking again. "I was asking if there was any hot water left in the shower."

"Oh, yeah, go ahead. I didn't take one."

She gawked at me. "And you're not... Planning to?"

I shrugged. "Who needs showers when you've got deodorant?"

"Gross. Ugh, boys are disgusting."

"Is Frank disgusting?" I asked, smirking.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Frank is not a boy, Nico, he's a gentleman." She sighed, biting her lip and beginning to fan herself. "Golly, and they say chivalry's dead~"

I sighed. "Well hopefully I'll get to meet him again this year. He's a junior too, right?"

"Uh huh, now get out of the bathroom so I can shower. At least one of us'll be clean."

"Sure thing, love you." I called, stepping out and going down the stairs.

When I got to the bottom, I hurried past my dad's sleeping body on the couch and into the kitchen, pulling out a Tupperware container of leftover lasagna, a plastic fork, and a capri sun, and put it in a paper bag with a sticky note that says 'I love you.' I always want to remind her, every opportunity I get, over and over and over until she gets sick of hearing it.

I tidied up a little too, took the dishes out of the dishwasher and put them back in the cabinets, wiped down the counters, ripped open a bagel and put the two halves in the toaster for her, before peeling the grocery list off of the fridge. I noticed that she wrote down pads and Midol, so I went ahead and stuffed a chocolate bar into her lunch too after folding the list and slipping it in my jacket's pocket, then made some instant coffee. I hate how bitter it is, but it gets me through the day after a sleepless night, which was most of them.

It didn't take long for her to come down the stairs, her backpack slung over her shoulder. Her eyes glanced at dad for a minute, before awkwardly flitting back to the ground, half-jogging past him, a mix of disgust and pity written all over her face like he was just a random wino she passed on the street. She visibly relaxed upon entering the kitchen, and pulled the milk carton from the fridge and a glass from the cabinet before sitting at the kitchen island next to me.

I looked her over. "You look nice." I commented, and she did, in light wash jeans and a lacy lilac shirt, using a deep purple scarf as a headband, dangling over one shoulder while her backpack was slung around the other. She even bothered with jewelry, a little gold locket dangling from her neck, which she had even before she came to live with us.

"Well yeah, I wanna make a good first impression." She explained, pouring herself the last of the milk. "Did you remember to write milk down?"

"Yep. And I noticed your little... Additions." I muttered, my face heating up, fidgeting with my hands. "Sucks, don't it?"

She nodded. "And on the first day of school too..."

I shook my head. "I'd put it all on me if I could."

"You think you could handle it?"

"If it meant you didn't have to."

She gave me a side hug. "You're the best big brother I could ask for." Just then, the toaster popped, and she hopped out of her seat to get it. "... You wanna split it?" She offered over her shoulder.

"Nah, I'll be alright."

She shot me a quizzical look, but shrugged, biting into one of the bagel halves. "If you insist. But... Can I ask you something?"

My eyes widened with panic, but I tried to sound calm. "... Yeah. Anything." I answered, hoping with all my heart her question wasn't-

"Are... You ok?"

Fuck. "I... Yeah. Why?"

Her face scrunched up in skepticism. "I mean... You've been a little distracted these past couple days."

"Oh, yeah, no it's fine. I've just been... Thinking. That's all." I shrugged, putting the coffee cup to my mouth.

"Thinking... About what?" She asked, before her innocent expression was replaced with a knowing one. "... Do you have a crush or something?"

I choked on my coffee. "I-what-no! What? No! What made you think...?"

She shrugged, sitting back next to me. "Well, you're pretty long overdue for one. I don't think I've ever heard you say you love any girls, actually. Well, any girls you're not related to anyway."

"Yeah, well... Romance just isn't my thing."

"Not your thing? Dude, you're the exact type that girls go wild for. Y'know, the dark, brooding loner?" She laughed a bit. "They're probably just intimidated, y'know."

I scoffed. "Look, that may be how things work in teen movies, but not here. Besides, it's not like having a girl like me is any kind of guarantee that I'm gonna like her."

She sighed. "Well, if it's not a crush, what is it?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's nothing for you to worry your precious little head about, ok? I'm a big boy, I'll be fine."

"Well... If you say so." Just then, the bus pulled up, and she pulled me into a very tight and very sudden hug before grabbing her lunch and rushing outside as I followed to see her off. She smiled up at one of the windows, offering someone, I'm assuming Frank, a shy wave before turning to me. "Are you sure you don't wanna come with me?" She asked. "I find it hard to believe you'd rather walk to school than ride in an air conditioned bus."

Just then, I felt something heavy and sticky on my back, likely thrown from one of the hooligans on the bus, and sighed. "I think I'll pass, Sorrellina." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss her forehead. "You go ahead, I'm gonna have to change." I excused, walking back to the front door. When I turned back, she was already on the bus. "... Love you." I muttered, waving up at her, before going back inside.

When I took my jacket off and laid it on the kitchen island, I found an entire sandwich stuck to its back, sopping wet and smelling like peanut butter and... Ketchup?

Well, that's today's appetite brutally murdered.

I peeled the disgusting wasted lunch off of my clothes, trying and failing not to get it on my bandages, put it in the trash, took the list out of my pocket, and threw my jacket in the washing machine, along with a few things I really couldn't ignore anymore. When all that was said and done, I went to the bathroom, the downstairs bathroom this time, and braced myself as I peeled the gauze off of my skin, turned on the faucet, and washed the wounds from last night, unable to look my reflection in the eye.

It's not like I'm going to heaven anyway, if there was such a thing to begin with.

When I walked back out of the bathroom, I slipped on a black hoodie and risked a glance at my father, an almost-empty bottle of red wine in hand, his obsidian eyes unfocused, glazed over with drunkenness and grief, staring at the TV. It hurts my heart to see him like this, day in, day out, from the minute he left for work or church to the minute he came back home. He doesn't even sleep in his bedroom anymore, just camps out on the couch, every night. He doesn't notice me staring at him, and he won't notice when I leave. I'm... Invisible to him. We both are.

He barely speaks now, to either of us at least, but he cries sometimes, sobbing out the names of his wife and daughter, screaming out in pain and torment so loudly I can hear him from my bedroom. I've bought us both phones and earbuds, both to drown him out and to communicate, but... Last night, my battery died, and I was forced to listen. He sounded... Like he was being tortured. Part of me wanted to go downstairs and comfort him, but... I didn't. It was too overwhelming where I was, so much so that I silently paralleled him, releasing drips of red from my veins while he chugged it from a bottle, indulging in pain as my own guilty pleasure. Does that make me selfish? Maybe.

Yes.

I'm sorry, dad, for not being there for you.

-

Percy's POV:

I opened my eyes to find that I'd slept past my alarm, and... Well, I'm not surprised. I really shouldn't've been playing video games until three in the morning again, I just get so wrapped up in whatever it is I'm doing and lose track of time and... I mean, it's the first day, gimme a break! It's not like anyone's gonna really care that I'm late anyway.

I sat up on the bed and grabbed my phone, knocking something else over in the process. Luckily, though, my lightning-fast reflexes let me catch it before it fell onto the floor. In fact, it was only when I had it in my hand that I realized what it was.

Looking down at the figurine I held, I felt my heart sink into my stomach, and I returned it to its proper place with a heavy sigh before checking the time. 6:43, hopefully I'm able to squeeze a shower in there.

Letting the hot water run over me, I kept... Thinking. Usually, my mind goes in a million different directions, but right now, it kept coming back to... Well, to that figurine. Who found it and where, and what happened after she did. I... Wonder how her family is right now. Especially...

Why am I so worried about that little twerp? The last time I saw him was three and a half years ago, and he was screaming at the top of his lungs that he hated my guts and that I wasn't welcome anywhere near his property ever again. And then, to add insult to injury, he slammed my fingers in the door! Well... I guess it's the other way around, actually, adding injury to insult. In any case, he clearly wanted nothing to do with me. So why was I so focused on him?

Because... He was a kid. A little twelve-year-old boy, wouldn't even be thirteen until a month or so later. And I mean... I remember being twelve.

God, do I wish I could forget.

I shook my thoughts out of my head and turned the water off, rushing to dry off and put some clothes on, jeans, blue sneakers, my shark week shirt, just whatever I had lying around really.

The minute I came out, I was greeted by my mom giving me a hug. "There he is... Oh, my little high school senior! I can't believe it, you managed to stay here all four years! I'm so proud of you I could just... God, I can remember when you were born like it was yesterday. I can remember when I could hold you with only one arm, and... Now you're taller than I am!" She squealed, her arms tightening around me. "Where did all of this extra Percy come from!?"

I laughed and hugged her back. "From you, you and your amazing cooking!"

"You're so sweet." She kissed my cheek and took my hand. "Speaking of, come get your breakfast! I made your favorite~"

My mouth pulled into a grin, and I hurried over to the breakfast table, sitting in front of a plate stacked with blue waffles, which I dug into as soon as I sat down, though she seemed much less... Enthusiastic.

"... Sweetheart?"

I straightened a little, my mouth still full. "Yeah, mom?"

Her fingers began combing through her hair, one of her nervous habits. "I need to... Tell you something. But I don't want you to freak out."

"Um... Ok?"

"Can you promise me you'll... At least try not to freak out?"

"I promise, what is it?"

She sucked in a deep breath, bracing herself. "I've... Started dating again."

I dropped my fork. "... You... You what?"

"I've been talking to this one guy for a few months now, and he seems... Really sweet. And... Last night, he... He said he wanted to take me out to dinner this Saturday. I... Think I'm gonna go. But if you have any objections-"

"No, no, I'm... I'm good. This is good, this is great!" I laughed nervously. "I mean, you're happy, and if you're happy then... Then I'm happy."

She raised a brow. "You seem... Nervous."

"Me? Nervous? No, I'm not nervous, you're nervous." I took the last of my waffles and stood. "I'm just gonna put these in the fridge for later. Bye mom, love you!" I shut the fridge and hurried out to the hall, but before I could close the front door, she poked her head out of it. "... Yeah? What is it, mom?"

"This conversation isn't over, you know that right?"

I sighed. "... I know. Bye. Love you."

"I love you too. Have a good day at school! And keep yourself out of trouble, will you?"

"I'll try my best." With that, I went over to the elevator and pushed the button. It was always the worst, waiting and waiting and waiting for the elevator to get up to your floor, and knowing that once you were done, you'd just have to wait and wait and wait to get dropped off again. It was torture, especially with ADHD, and especially especially when you're already nervous about something. I kept rapidly clicking my pen in and out, my thoughts racing.

This is a good thing. Remember that, this is a good thing.

Is it? Is it really?

Of course it is. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

You know very well the worst that could happen. You've lived it. You both have.

Exactly, which means she can spot the warning signs now. And if she hasn't found any... It should be fine, right? I should trust her. I should trust her judgement. She's smart.

Smart doesn't mean shit when they're dead set on lying to you.

Finally, the elevator door opened, and I stepped in, pushing the ground floor button before succumbing to the panic completely, my back sliding down the wall. I could feel my breath getting tighter, like he was still choking me out from beyond the grave.

Hands around my neck, squeezing until I couldn't breathe, black spots growing in the corners of my eyes until they shut for what I thought would be forever. The last thing I remember hearing was a gunshot before everything melted into sleep.

When I next came to, I was in the hospital, my mother holding my hand, her eyes bloodshot and tired. "I'm so sorry, baby. I shouldn't have left you alone with him for so long." She broke down into tears. "This is all my fault."

I couldn't speak for months after that. The only reason I have my voice back is because of all the sacrifices she made for me. Even now, it's got an ugly, raspy edge to it. I hate it. I hate what he's turned me into.

*ding*

The elevator opened. I stood up, walked out, and tried to ground myself in the present as I went through the lobby and out to the bus stop. My name is Percy Jackson, I'm almost 18 years old, and I refuse to be afraid.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV:

I hurried into my first class, trying desperately to leave this morning's incident behind me, and sat down at a random desk, which just so happened to be a window seat.

"Well, you're early, mister...?" Asked the man behind the desk, decked out in a bunch of ceramic blowfish.

"Jackson." I answered confidently. "Percy Jackson... This is the right class, right? Mr. Blofis, first period English?"

"Yep, thought you'd be able to guess from my little collection. I've heard quite a lot about you."

I laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, I've got a reputation for being... Quite the handful." I admitted. "But I'll be on my best behavior, I promise."

"I figured. After all, you're the first one in my class, you're clearly a very eager student."

I laughed. "Yeah, don't get used to it." I then noticed a fish bowl full of strips of black paper. "What's that?" I asked, pointing to it.

He smiled. "Oh, that's a little game for later."

"Oh, fun!" I cleared my throat. "... Um... Y-you got my 504, right?" I asked. "Just... Checking."

"Oh, yeah, don't even worry about it." He waved his hand nonchalantly. "I've got it all under control."

I sighed in relief. "That's great."

After a little while, I saw other students file in one by one, sitting wherever they wanted. And apparently, none of them wanted to sit next to me.

Once everyone was in, the bell rang, and the pledge of allegiance started to play. I never stood for it, and I wasn't about to start now. I always found it creepy, almost dystopian. And now that I was in high school, nobody could force me.

Suddenly, the door slammed open, and I saw a kid in a black hoodie panting like a dying animal. "So... Sorry I'm... Late." He wheezed between heavy, labored breaths. "I... I had to change, and... And I... Missed the bus, and-"

"Relax, relax, you don't need to explain yourself. Just take a seat."

He nodded and turned to me, his expression whipping around from dazed to shocked when he saw my face. "Um, am I in the right room?" He asked, turning back to Mr. Blofis. "I mean, of course I'm in the right room. Is he in the right room?"

He nodded. "Both of you are exactly where you're supposed to be."

He groaned and turned back to me, and suddenly, I recognized him.

Oh no.

Nico diAngelo begrudgingly sat next to me, seeing as that was the closest seat to where he was standing, refusing to even look at me.

"Right, where were we?" Mr. Blofis stood. "I guess we should start with some icebreakers. How about... Two truths and a lie?"

"Ugh, what is this? Summer camp?" A voice complained from the back, belonging to none other than Clarisse laRue, the face of fear at Goode high. "Hard pass."

Mr. Blofis rolled his eyes, completely unfazed at her antics. "Fine, I'll go first then. My name is Paul Blofis, I've had to kill a snake before, I used to be a boy scout, and my girlfriend and I met online."

"Oh, dude." Clarisse cut in. "I knew you were desperate, but come on!"

He looked confused. "Desperate? What made you think that?"

She laughed. "You know she's probably catfishing you, right?"

"Well, I just asked her out last night, so I guess we'll see." He answered. "But we've Skyped before, so I'm not sure how she'd pull that off. In any case, if you're feeling chatty, how about you take your shot? Which one am I lying about?"

"Uh, the snake, obviously."

He laughed a bit. "I've never been a Boy Scout."

My mouth was on the floor, and I instantly had a lot of respect for the guy.

His eyes locked onto the small boy next to me. "Nico, would you like to go next?" He shook his head, all too quickly, and the teacher shrugged. "Alrighty, how about you, Percy?"

I nodded and stood up in front of the class. "Right... So, my name is Percy Jackson, I've been to a grand total of 8 schools in my life, I kicked a cop in the nuts when I was ten, and..." I paused, wondering what I could say for the third statement. "... And I want to be a marine biologist." I decided.

After waiting a bit for people to start making guesses, most of them aimed at the last one thanks to my grades, I smirked. "I was nine."

I didn't pay attention to the rest of them, either I didn't know them and didn't care, or I knew them, and already knew which one was the lie. It was senior year, after all, my friend group is pretty much set in stone.

But when everyone else was finished, Nico still refused, and he didn't seem to be paying attention either, doodling in his sketchbook, his arm defensively positioned so I couldn't see what he was working on.

"Ok, I guess that's all of us, excusing two. I'm glad we've all gotten to know each other a little bit. Now, I like to play the first week or so kinda laid-back, so we're starting off with something relatively easy, just challenging enough to warm your brains up a little bit. Basically, I want you to read one of Shakespeare's plays, and then write down your thoughts, y'know, how you relate to it. I've got a bowl full of titles here, and I'd like you to come up here, one by one, to draw one at random. No peeking!" He scolded playfully. "Now, I don't want you to be intimidated. You've got the whole week to figure it out, and in the meantime, we're basically just gonna be watching movies and such. There's no word limit, or really any other requirements aside from basic spelling and grammar. I trust that you'll be able to find a PDF online, but if you ever need me to hook you up with a physical copy, you just come to me. However, unlike two truths and a lie, Clarisse, this isn't optional."

She rolled her eyes and stood up. "Guess I better get it over with, then." She trudged over to the bowl, jammed her hand in it, and pulled out a strip of paper. "... Well, at least there's murder in it." She muttered under her breath, before sitting back down, her legs crossed, feet resting on her desk.

I watched them all pick from the bowl, making little comments on occasion, until it was my turn. As I reached in there, picking up one of the three left, since apparently someone was absent, and looked down at the words scratched on with white gel pen. "Taming of the shrew, huh?" I mumbled to myself. "Never heard of it. Let's hope it's funny." As I stuffed it into my pocket and sat down, I realized something.

He used black paper, and white ink.

Specifically so it would be easier for me to read.

How did he know that would work?

"Alright, Nico, c'mon. It's your turn." Mr. Blofis beckoned.

The hooded boy beside me groaned, but obeyed, sitting down as quickly as he could, and we spent the rest of the period basically doing whatever until the bell rang. Nico took off like a racehorse, even forgetting his notebook, leaving it splayed open next to me.

Now, I'm not a particularly nosy person, but... Ok that's a lie, I'm nosy as fuck.

It was a boy, with a halo, holding a rosary. The entire upper half of his face was just a tangle of ink, scribbled out like he couldn't get the eyes right and threw a hissy fit over it. As for the mouth, there was a thumb and forefinger sprawled out under it, forcing its corners into a smile, the other hand holding up a tag, the string wrapped around the angel's neck, with writing on it, though I closed it before I bothered trying to read it. I already felt as though I'd gotten a lot more intimate with this boy than I had bargained for, and we haven't even spoken a word to each other.

I stuffed it in my own bag and rushed out of my seat to my locker, to find Annabeth opening hers, right next to me.

"Well hey there, seaweed brain." She pecked me on the cheek. "Miss me?"

I smirked. "Of course I did. Where were you?"

"Honors math."

I grimaced. "Sheesh, all those numbers? This early in the morning?"

She shrugged. "I'll manage. What about you?"

"English, and I'm about to head to biology. After that, there's regular math, which... Ew."

She laughed. "Did you get second lunch too?"

"Yeah!" I smiled. "What's your last class?"

"History, Mr. Brunner. You?"

"Same as you, Wise Girl." I slipped my hand into hers, her medium-dark brown skin contrasting with mine, like a bay horse's coat against a palomino's. "Glad we've got history together, how about chemistry?"

She sighed. "I'm not taking chemistry this year. I have to do the whole foreign language thing sooner or later."

I pouted. "Whyyyyyy? Don't you already speak sarcasm?" I joked.

Her quicksilver eyes rolled into the back of her head. "Sarcasm would be classified as a dialect at best, Percy. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to study hall." She gave me a peck on the lips before turning around, her honey-blonde ponytail swishing behind her, a collection of miniature braids curled into corkscrews at the very ends.

God, I love her.

-

Nico's POV:

I couldn't stand to be in that seat any longer than I had to, so as soon as the bell rang, I was out the door. I'd have to ask to switch seats with someone else tomorrow, because I cannot, really cannot, sit next to him.

Thankfully, toxicology and art weren't nearly as eventful. In fact, even with Hazel sharing the latter with me, I didn't really feel like talking that much. I was starting to get... Tired, and kinda dizzy. By the time lunch came around, I honestly wanted to throw up, which scared me a little, seeing as gym class was right after this, and I didn't want to puke in the changing room on my first day. But right now, as I sat at the table, I wasn't thinking about gym class. I was staring, instead, at the table in front of me. Unlike the one that I was sitting at, this one was full of life, full of people. And one of those people just so happened to be Percy.

I couldn't help but stare at him, at that snarky, smug little smirk he wore, that just made me want to slap him in the face.

No. I didn't want to slap him in the face. I wanted to do something much, much worse with his face. Something not only confusing, but also evil. Unforgivable, unnatural, unspeakable.

I wanted to kiss it.

Why, out of everyone here, did he have to be who enticed me the most? The one I not only couldn't have, but could never even admit to wanting? Every time I looked at him, I felt like I was drowning. But I couldn't bring myself to look away.

"... You're not eating." A voice pointed out from behind me. "Too busy drooling over Piper like every other guy in the school?"

I turned around to glare at him. "Who I am and am not drooling over is none of your business, Valdez."

He rolled his eyes and sat next to me. "Fine, fine. Can I have yours, then?" He asked, sitting next to me.

I pushed my tray over to him. "Knock yourself out." I mumbled, my eyes returning to their original subject. I basically only buy them for you anyway.

"Hey, wanna see how many nuggets I can fit in my mouth?" He asked excitedly.

I scoffed. "Fine, if it'll get you to shut up. God, I can't believe my little sister used to have a crush on you."

"Me either. I look like a burnt chicken nugget." He laughed to himself. "Speaking of, how much are you willing to bet I can't do all five?"

I shrugged. "I'll see how much cash I've got on me." I answered, staring off into space again. You don't actually think that, do you? Some part of me wanted to ask. I always wanted to ask things like that when it came to him, but it never seemed to be the right time. He was always so jokey and upbeat, and I was scared of being a downer.

He tapped me on the shoulder, showing off his swollen cheeks. "Tada! Now gimme money!" He demanded. I rolled my eyes and reached into my pocket, pulling out a crumpled dollar bill and a couple coins. He counted it and slumped in disappointment, struggling to swallow all that chicken at once. "All that for a dollar sixty-nine?" He asked himself, still cracking a smile. "Nice."

"Yeah, well, it's not like I keep a wallet." I defended. "Maybe I should, since you're always asking me for a bet."

He shrugged, opening the milk carton. "It's a full time gig, baby. After all, stuff costs money. And there's a lot of important stuff out there."

I sighed, knowing that by stuff, he probably didn't just mean the latest gadget. Knowing why he asked for my lunch tray instead of getting his own. Again, I wanted to say something. You know all you have to do is ask, right? And again, I don't want to ruin the moment.

After lunch ended, we all had to shuffle in for gym, which... Ew.

I ducked into the changing room, making a beeline for the stalls, which is where all the losers change, to find Frank, sitting on the bench, in the standard gym shorts and an archery team shirt. Athletes always got to wear their own merch in gym, lucky bastards.

"... Hey." I started.

He looked up. "Oh, hi. Nico, was it?"

"Um, yeah. So, are you gonna be hanging around, or...?"

"Oh, well I was about to leave, but I can like, stay on the other side, just to make sure none of the other guys try and open your stall."

"You... You'd actually-"

"Yeah. I mean, it's no cost to me, right?"

I sighed. "I guess not. Thanks, Frank."

Once I was in I silently slipped off my shirt, hoodie and jeans, hanging them over the door. "So, you're on the archery team, are you?" I asked, very aware of how uncharacteristically sociable I was being. If he was gonna be dating my little sister, I may as well get to know him.

"Uh, yeah."

"Why'd you pick it?"

He hesitated. "... I dunno. My sister and I were sent to this, like, troubled kids camp over the summer, and for some reason, they offered archery. And... Something just clicked. I'm not sure what."

"Troubled kids, huh?" I slipped on the short, loose gym shorts, which showed off my gangly, short, blindingly pale legs. "Well, what did you do, exactly, that made you so troubled?"

"I didn't do anything." He insisted.

I was very skeptical. "If you didn't do anything, then how did you end up in that summer camp?"

A heavy sigh came from the other side of the door. "My dad's just really on my case about 'becoming a man', which basically just means becoming exactly like him. Y'know how dads are."

"... Yeah..."

He sighed again. "And my sister's filling his shoes just fine, I guess one out of two just isn't enough according to him."

"What's her name?" I asked.

"... Clarisse."

"Yikes." I responded, before slipping on on my white uniform shirt, the school mascot printed right in the middle of my chest. I don't know much about fashion, but I do know that white is most certainly not my color. It made my teeth look yellow, made my skin look sickly and dead and grey, almost green. I looked even more like a zombie than I do now. "... Wait, then how were you at that carnival the night we met? Did you sneak out or something?"

"Yeah, it was her idea. Then she ditched me to go terrorize some smaller kids, and... Well, you know how the rest of the story goes." He paused for a moment. "Wait... Is this a Mythomagic shirt!?" I heard from the other side.

I laughed nervously, taking down my black hoodie and pulling it back over my body. "Um... Yeah, I uh... I used to be really into it when I was a kid."

"... Right... When you were a kid... Why'd you stop?"

"Oh... I just... Lost interest, I guess. Y'know how kids are." I then collected my clothes, stuffed them in my bag, and opened the door. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "I... I-I was just wondering, that's it."

"Do... You still play?" I found myself asking.

His entire face began to turn red. "Um, I mean... Well, maybe-occasionally, not-y'know-not that often, just..." He spluttered out.

I shook my head. "I'm taking that as a yes."

He nodded shyly, still beet red. "Just don't make a big deal out of it, ok? I know it's dorky and immature, but it's fun."

"... Yeah." I smiled to myself and headed out to the track, where I was greeted by Coach Hedge glaring up at me. My eyes rolled into the back of my head. "What is it?"

"Are you wearing your gym shirt?" He asked, stern, hairy arms crossed on his chest.

"Uh, yeah."

"Prove it, cupcake."

I grabbed the hem of my hoodie and pulled it up enough to show him that I was telling the truth. "Happy now?"

He sighed. "You're dismissed. Now get on that track and start running. Five laps, got it?"

"Ugh, fine." I stalked off to the starting line and started running, but after only one and a half, I was winded and drenched in sweat, everything hurt, and as I saw black spots form in my periphery, I knew it was too late. I was gonna crash.

And I did. I crashed right into the gravel track, slipping out of consciousness.

-

When I came to, I was in the nurse's office, laying on a cot, a bag of ice under my neck. I looked over at the clock, 2:48. Damn it, I missed Italian class. That was supposed to be my easy A, and now I was absent the first day, Miss Hartmann was gonna be so pissed. Not only that, I was about to be super late for history, if I could even get there before the bell rang. I sat up a little too suddenly, and felt like my brain was a big bowl of punch getting sloshed around in my head, little drips of it escaping my head. My eyes were unable to focus on what was right in front of me at first, but eventually, I settled in, and looked over to my right to find a paper cup filled with water, and an aspirin, which I took.

"You're awake." The nurse noted, her thick southern drawl coating her voice like molasses. "I was a little worried we'd have send you to the hospital."

"Ugh... Fuck, ok. I've gotta get to Mr. Brunner's class."

She looked over, her bright blue eyes cold and stern. "Absolutely not, I've told both your teachers about what happened. We have to do a little checkup first."

I grimaced. "Nurse Solace, I really don't think that's-"

"Oh it's necessary alright, and mandatory." She insisted. "First of all, we've gotta take your height and weight, check for a fever, and then we're gonna ask you some questions."

5'4, 98, no fever.

Do I have any medical conditions that I'm aware of? No.

Am I sexually active? No.

Am I, or have I ever been, homeless? No.

Have I ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? No.

Have I ever suffered any traumatic events? No.

Do I, or have I ever, struggled with self-harm or suicidal ideation? No.

Do I, or have I ever, struggled with disordered eating? No.

Do I, or have I ever had substance abuse issues? No.

Has anyone in my family? No.

Am I being abused? No.

Am I being neglected? No.

Whatever would get her off of my case.

"Hmm... I just don't understand what would cause something like this to happen. Maybe I should check for injuries. Would you mind taking some of your clothes off so I can-"

"Nope, nope, not gonna happen."

She sighed in exasperation. "Well, I can't legally force you to disrobe in front of me. Maybe I'll just write down heat exhaustion for the diagnosis part."

I looked over at the clock again, which now read 3:02. I was about to stand up and leave, when I noticed a certain someone in the doorframe. "And what are you doing here, Jackson?"

"Well, hello to you too." He smirked. "I was the one to carry you here, I may as well check up on you."

"You... What?" I asked, my face heating up. "Why, out of all people, was it you?"

His hand flew to his heart. "You wound me!"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. As you can see, I'm totally fine, so you can leave now."

"Well... There's actually two other reasons I came. First off..." He unzipped his backpack and handed me a notebook.

My notebook.

"You, uh... You left this in Mr. Blofis's class." He explained.

I held it to my chest. "... You didn't look through it, did you?"

"Uh, no." He answered, making me wonder if he was lying to me. "... Oh, and there's... Something else of yours, that I need to return. And... Well, it's at home. So... If you want, you can swing by and get it. I have to go to swim practice soon, but... Do you want the address?"

I sighed. "... Sure."

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

I looked back down at the address I had scribbled out on my hand, smudged from the sweat on my palms, but still readable. Once I had double, triple, quadruple-checked, I felt confident enough to knock on the door, and was surprised when an oddly familiar woman answered the door, with long, curly brown hair pulled up into a messy bun, and smile lines just barely starting to show. I wonder if I'll get those when I'm old. Probably not. "Oh, hey kid. What brings you here?"

My hand reached up to the back of my neck. "Um, I-is this Percy's house?"

"M-hm. Are you a friend of his?"

"Well, I-I wouldn't exactly say friend, but-" My stomach interrupted, very loudly, before I could finish my sentence. I crossed my arms over the area in shame, trying to muffle the sound, but it didn't make a difference. So that's why I've been feeling like shit all day.

"Oh, sweetie... Come on in." She ushered, turning to open the cupboard as I sat down at the kitchen table. "Here." She held out a pack of cheesy crackers.

My face heated up in embarrassment, but I still took it, not wanting to be rude. "Thanks." I opened it up and putting one into my mouth.

"No trouble, kid. You got a name?"

"Um, Nico."

"Alrighty, Nico. Lemme go get you something to drink, is gatorade ok?"

"Yes ma'am. Thank you." I swallowed and bit into a second one, watching her go to the fridge. I noticed some pretty nasty-looking scars on her back. "Those look painful." I mumbled.

She turned back around, a bottle of blue gatorade in hand. "What?"

My eyes widened. "Uh, nothing."

"Are you sure?" She asked, placing the bottle in front of me. "Because I think I heard the word 'painful' in there somewhere."

"Oh, I was just... Talking about your back." I admitted.

She tensed up. "... Oh. Yeah, workplace accident." She explained. "Not sure why the boss insisted on keeping the candy in those huge glass jars, but..." She shrugged.

"Jeez, that sucks. I... Hope you got worker's comp." I unscrewed the lid and began to drink. "... Wait... That's where I know you from, you were the candy lady!"

She laughed. "That, I am. You came often?"

"Yeah, when I was little... My sister and I." A smile slipped off of my face, that I didn't even realize I had on. I shook the thoughts out of my head and took another drink. I can't afford to think about that right now.

She sat next to me. "I think I remember, you two were always so excited to be there, especially you. You were always talking so fast, I could barely understand what you were saying, and she'd have to order for you."

"Yeah... It's probably for the best you couldn't understand me. I was probably rattling off some morbid 'fun fact' I picked up from bring your kid to work day."

She smiled. "I wouldn't be scared off so easily, especially since you were always so sweet and polite. You both were, and... You reminded me a little of my son." She admitted.

"Is that why you dropped him off at our house that one time?" I asked.

"I... Well... I was gonna be... Out of town, for a few days. But I didn't want to leave him home alone."

"Oh... It was always just you and him, then?"

"... Yeah." She sighed. "Anyway, um... Were you looking for him? Because he's at swim practice right now."

"It's fine, I can just... Do you mind if I wait here?"

"Of course not. You just make yourself at home."

I smiled a bit. "Thanks, again."

I spent about an hour waiting, at the table first, then on the couch. I finished off the gatorade, but not the crackers. I normally only eat when it becomes painful not to, otherwise I just... Forget. Constantly.

As I was sitting on the couch, getting lost in my own thoughts, I heard the door open. "Hey, mom! I'm home!"

I watched her arms wrap around him, and his around her in response. "I'm so glad you got home safe. I just popped a pizza in the oven, and..." Her head turned to me. "Oh, I almost forgot! You have a friend over."

He let go of his mom and walked up to me, leaning over the back of the couch. "I didn't think you'd actually come, ghost boy." I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but he didn't seem to notice. "Guess you don't hate my guts anymore, then. C'mon, let's get to my room." I stood and let him lead the way, which wasn't far considering how cramped the apartment is, and open the door to his bedroom. Dear god, his bedroom. There were candy wrappers and dirty clothes and... Whatever else, haphazardly strewn around on the floor. "Sorry, it's a bit of a mess."

"A bit?" I asked, kicking an empty coke can out of the way. "God, were you raised in a barn?"

He laughed. "There are no barns in New York."

I rolled my eyes, shutting the door behind me. "... Um... So, I guess I should... Thank you. Y'know, for carrying me to the nurse."

He waved his hand dismissively. "Don't mention it. You were super light, by the way. Do you even eat?" He joked.

I held up the cracker pack in my hand. "I'm literally eating right now, what more do you want from me?"

He sat at his desk. "For you to do it when nobody's there to make you."

"I'm sorry, are you a doctor? No. You're just some random jock. And you don't know me. You don't know how much I eat, and it's none of your business. I could be perfectly healthy for all you know."

"Yeah, and that's why you passed out on the track." He remarked, swiveling away from me.

"Would you shut up about my weight!?" I snapped, sitting down on his bed. "Not everyone can be as hot as you, y'know." My hand flew to my mouth a split second too late. Oh god. Oh no. No, no, no...

"Oh?" He turned to face me, one eyebrow raised. "You think I'm hot, do you?"

I froze. "I mean... Obviously, you are. You're like, objectively attractive. You look like a god."

He laughed. "Well, for the record, you're not too bad to look at yourself. I mean, sure, your hair's a mess, and your undereyes are super dark, but hey. In sickness and in health, right?"

My face started heating up, and I wasn't sure how to respond.

Luckily, I didn't have to. Because Percy burst out into laughter before I could say anything. "Dude, obviously I'm joking. I mean, not about your looks, I do think you're... Y'know, I think you look nice. But I'm not, like, trying to flirt with you or anything. I have a girlfriend for crying out loud!"

I cleared my throat. "Yeah... Right, no, I wasn't even thinking like that! I just... Whatever. You should probably get started on your homework."

"Wow. You're a real nag, aren't you?" He asked. "Fine, fine. I guess I'll look up that play, what was it? Taming of the... Mule?"

"Shrew." I corrected. "How did you get mule from shrew?"

He shrugged, before opening up the laptop. Looking over at it, I could see white text on a black background, instead of the other way around.

I tilted my head. "I didn't know google had a dark mode."

"Oh, it doesn't."

"Then... How does it look like that?"

"Well... If you go to the settings, you can turn on 'photonegative display', and that's what makes it look like that."

"Oh... But why would you go through all that trouble?"

He paused. "Well, I'm dyslexic, and... It... Makes things easier."

"... Oh. I... I didn't know that." I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "Why didn't I know that?" I asked myself. "Why don't I know hardly anything about you?"

He paused. "Oh, well... What's there to know, really?"

I shrugged, only just now noticing the Hades statuette on his bedside table, and picking it up. "... That you used to play Mythomagic, for example."

"What made you think I...?" He turned around to see me holding it. "... Oh. No, that, um... That's actually what I wanted to return to you."

My brows knit together. "What are you talking about? I've never owned this."

He sighed, a deep, long, heavy sigh, like he was getting ready to have a conversation he didn't want to be having. "... Bia found it, in the junkyard. It... It was meant to be her Christmas gift to you. But..."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "... Oh." Was all I could bring myself to say.

"Yeah... I was gonna give it to you that morning, y'know. But then you blew up at me, and I could barely get a word in before you slammed my fingers in the door."

I leaned against the wall. "... And... You held onto it for me? All these years?"

He sat next to me on the bed. "Of course I did, what else would I do with it?"

I shrugged, popping the last cracker into my mouth. "I dunno, sell it? I mean it's a pretty rare collectable, and... You could obviously use the money."

He seemed shocked that I would even suggest something like that. "Dude... I'm not just gonna sell something like that off to a random basement dweller over the internet."

"Why not?" I asked. "I mean, you weren't using it. It was just... Sitting there, collecting dust, for years. Why do you care so much about..." I bit my lip, feeling a sudden urge to cry, though I refused to let it show on my face. "... About a piece of plastic?" I finished, barely above a whisper.

"... Because I care about you."

Fuck. I really was about to cry. Shit. I stood up suddenly, stuffing the figurine into my pocket, and left the room without saying a word. I reached for the doorknob when I heard Sally's voice behind me. "You're not staying for dinner?" She asked.

I took a moment to compose myself. "I... I-I really have to go home."

"Oh... Well, do you want me to drive you?"

"No, no, that's ok. I can make it on my own. Besides, you've already done so much, I... I really couldn't."

Her brows furrowed in concern. "Are you sure? Because it can be pretty dangerous out there."

"Well... Yeah, but I mean, the store's right around the corner."

"I thought you were going home."

"I am, I am, I just have to pick a few things up first."

"Oh... Why are you doing the shopping?" She asked softly. "Shouldn't that be your father's job?"

I sighed. "I'm sixteen, not five. I'll be ok."

She tilted her head. "... Ok. Just know, if you ever need a ride, or anything else... I'm here."

I smiled a bit, opening the door. "Thanks, for everything." I then shut it and continued on my way, numbly picking up the items, putting them in the cart, pulling out dad's credit card. That was one good thing about him being a mortician, we never had to worry about money. I mean, it's the most stable job imaginable when you think about it. There are always gonna be dead people.

The sun was just barely starting to set when I opened the door to my father sitting at the kitchen counter, hunched over a wine bottle, fruitlessly trying to stab it open with a corkscrew. When I put the groceries down, he looked up at me. "... Can you...?" He slurred out, holding the corkscrew and the wine bottle out to me, like he was a little kid asking his mom to fix a broken toy.

I rolled my eyes and took them from him, twisting the corkscrew before popping it off and handing him the bottle. I felt guilt and disgust settle in the pit of my stomach. It's my fault he's like this. How could I possibly expect him to sober up if I didn't have the guts to tell him no?

I began to put up the groceries, when I heard him begin to cry right behind me. "God, I'm pathetic." He sobbed, making me freeze up. "I can't do anything right! I can't even open my own fucking bottles anymore. Why, God? Why did you take them instead of me!? You've ruined me! God, Satan, anyone, stop fucking around and put me out of my goddamn misery! I have nothing to live for!" He was screaming now, and I ran up the stairs as fast as I could, pads and midol in my arms. At least I got everything in the fridge or freezer that had to be kept cold.

I knocked softly on Hazel's door, resulting in a soft 'come in', prompting me to turn the knob. She looked so sad, curled up in bed with a heating pad.

I laid everything out on her nightstand, offering her a comforting smile. "I hate seeing you in pain, carissima. I'd do anything to make it go away." I knelt down to press a kiss to her forehead. "Sorry I couldn't cook anything tonight, I got a little... Held up. You still had dinner, right?"

She smiled up at me. "Yeah, I just heated up some leftovers." She answered. "... Did you-"

"Yeah, I'm good..." I sat next to her on the bed. "So, how was your first day? Aside from your... Y'know, monthly appointment."

She rolled her eyes. "You can just say 'period', y'know. It's not a dirty word."

I sighed. "Well, aside from your period, did you have a good day?"

She shrugged. "Mostly. I mean, the teachers are all nice enough, but..."

"But what?"

"... Well... You had second lunch, and I had third, and Frank had first. So... I didn't have anyone to sit with."

I took her hand. "Oh, you poor dear."

She pouted up at me, squeezing my fingers. "Yeah... Maybe I could ask for a different period or something."

"That wouldn't be such a bad idea." I stood up and let go of her hand. "For tonight, though..." I then stepped back, still nervously lingering in the doorway. "Is there... Anything you need?"

"No, I'm good. Just tired, is all." She moved to lay on her back. "G'night."

"Good night, take care. Love you." I then closed the door and walked over to my desk, taking out the little slip of paper. Romeo and Juliet. I'm sure I could find something to say, if I tried hard enough. The problem is not saying too much. Leaving just enough unsaid that you don't expose any vulnerable spots of yours.

I used to read it all the time, but I figured I should read it through, just one more time. As I did, I scribbled down my thoughts, mostly just basic observations, though one thing in my notes stuck out to me, which I didn't even think twice about before.

They're catholic

My god, they're both catholic.

And they kill themselves.

I think that's enough schoolwork for today.

I laid in bed and put my earbuds in, letting the music fill my head, making me forget everything surrounding me, if only for just under two minutes.

Make me love myself so that I might love you

Don't make me a liar, cuz I swear to god, when I said it I thought it was true

-

Percy's POV)

I sat on the bed for a while, stunned.

What the fuck was that!?

I was so relieved to finally hear a knock on the door. "Perce?"

"C'mon in." I invited.

She opened the door and sat down beside me on the bed. "Hey, sweetheart. So... About this morning..."

"Ok, look, I may have overreacted a little-"

"No, baby. It's ok, I understand. I shouldn't've dumped all of that on you at one time, I should've told you months ago, I just... I knew you might... React this way. Which is totally normal, ok? It's normal to be scared when it comes to... Something like this. So I just kept putting it off, and then he asked me out, and I couldn't put it off anymore, and... I'm sorry."

I nodded. "It's ok. I just... Hope I don't ruin this for you."

She gently hugged my shoulders, the kind of gentleness you learn after years of pain. "Percy..."

"Mom, you deserve to be happy. And if he makes you happy, then I don't wanna be the thing that holds you back."

"Percy, no. You're the most important thing to me, ok? And if he doesn't understand that, he's got no place in either of our lives, ok?" She kissed me on the temple. "I love you."

I hugged her back. "Love you too, mom."

"... Say... Maybe you could come with me. Just, y'know, to get used to him. Think you'd be up for that?"

"Yeah... That'd be good. Thanks, mom."

"Anything for my baby boy." Then, the pizza ding-ed, and she led me out of my room for dinner.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

Well, the taming of the shrew isn't as funny as I hoped. I didn't find it funny at all, in fact, even though it's supposed to be a comedy. Now, I can appreciate a dark sense of humor, in fact I have a pretty dark sense of humor myself. But watching Katherine, this outspoken, independent woman be continually punished, be humiliated and tortured and deprived of sleep and food until she turns into the perfect passive wife that society expects her to be, and hangs off of some random dickwad's every word, who only married her so his best friend could marry her sister because their father is a very strange man with some very strange rules... And to have that be labelled as a comedy, rather than psychological horror, to expect us to root for Katherine's abuse... It makes me feel sick to my stomach.

After English, I caught him at his locker, staring at a tall, chubby asian guy, and a black girl who was much shorter than him, acting all lovey-dovey together. When I turned to see his face, I noticed his lower lip was completely hidden inside of his mouth in worry. I wanted to talk to him again, and although part of me wanted to know what the deal was yesterday, I decided that it was better if I ignore it for now. "What's the matter?" I asked from behind, causing him to jump.

"Christ, you scared me!" He squeaked, his hand migrating to his chest.

I laughed a little. "I do have the tendency to sneak up on people, y'know."

He huffed in annoyance. "Well, don't. You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Aren't you like, sixteen?" I asked. "I wouldn't be too worried about that at your age."

"You say that like you're an old man."

I laughed again. "Oh god, I do sound old. Fuck, is this what adulthood does to you?"

He rolled his eyes. "You consider yourself an adult?" He asked. "You're not old enough to drink yet."

I tensed up a little at that, but quickly shook it off. "Yeah, well I don't exactly plan on drinking anyway, so... What difference does that make?"

He looked skeptical. "... Really? Not even once, just to see what it feels like?"

"Uh, no." I answered, trying to avoid the topic.

"Huh... Are you mormon or something?"

"No, I just..." I clenched my teeth. "... It's none of your business."

He opened his mouth to ask a question, but chose not to. "... Fine. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Well, I don't. So... What should we talk about instead?"

He shrugged. "How about... What class you're going to?"

"Oh, biology, miss Andrews. You?"

"Toxicology, Mathers."

"Really? Her class is like, right by mine."

His eyes rolled into the back of his head. "Oh, goodie. More time with you."

"Don't you like spending time with me?" I asked jokingly.

"Not really." And with that, he started walking away.

I smirked, trailing behind him. "Well, too bad."

He sighed, but didn't say anything.

"Don't wanna talk? That's fine. I can play all the parts." I joked.

"Yeah, you never shut up."

That stung a bit, but I pressed on. "So, did you know them?"

"Who?" He asked.

"That couple you were staring at."

"Oh, yeah. That was Hazel, my... My kid sister."

My brows shot up in surprise. "Oh, I didn't know. I thought it was just you and your dad and..." I trailed off. "... Just you and your dad."

He sighed. "... Yeah. Well... It was, for a while. But... She came to live with us, in May of last year."

I nodded. "... Where was she before?"

"Boarding school."

"Huh... I went to a boarding school one year, when I was nine. Would I have known her?"

He looked over to me. "Was it a catholic school?"

"Nope, just a boring old regular boarding school."

"Then no."

I slumped in disappointment. "Oh well. So... She's dating someone."

"... Yeah..."

"You don't seem too happy about that."

He sighed. "It's just... I don't know. I don't have any good reason not to trust him. He's been a total sweetheart ever since we met him, but... I don't know. He's so... Big. And she's so small. And I... I just- I don't know."

I looked down at him, amused. "Y'know, you're talking about her less like she's your sister, and more like she's your daughter." I teased, before slipping into biology, as if I had any room to talk.

It's not just that I didn't want to be hurt again... I didn't want her to be hurt again. She's been through so much, too much. Probably more than she's told me. And she's finally gotten herself back, started writing again, and going back to college, and going to therapy. She's happy now, and she deserves to be. And if this random guy comes along and ruins that for her... I'm not sure how long it'll take for her to heal again.

Class was pretty uneventful, but later that day, I noticed him sitting by himself at lunch, wrapped up in a tattered dark brown bomber jacket, and decided to walk over, setting my lunch tray down. "Hey, shortstack. Didn't know you wore colors besides black."

He glared up at me. "Shut up."

"No, I don't think I will. So, what'cha doin' over here by yourself?"

"Waiting for Leo, if you must know."

"Who's Leo?"

"Yo rang?" Asked a voice from behind me before he sat next to me. "I'm back, baby!"

Nico rolled his eyes, again. "Was that an emperor's new groove ref... Oh my god, what happened to your lip?"

The boy, Leo, shrugged, and I looked over to see his lip had been split and cracked, barely scabbed over. "Another run-in with the bodega guy." He explained. "At least I got my Oreos."

He laughed a little, though it sounded a bit... Forced. "Yeah, I can see why he's not a big fan of you."

"Oh, shut up." Leo complained. I've noticed that he looks quite a bit like Nico. At least... From a distance. They were the same build, the same height, and they similar dark, shaggy hair, though Leo's was brown rather than black, the same big, expressive dark brown eyes, though Leo's were lighter. The most obvious physical difference, minus the injury, was Leo's deep tan, contrasting sharply with the sickly pale skin of his friend.

But looking closer, Leo's features were... Sharp, and jagged, and... Impish, I guess. Whereas Nico's were... Softer somehow. More innocent. I could easily picture them floating above my shoulders, Nico the angel, and Leo the demon.

"Aaaaanywho, can I...?"

He didn't even have to finish his sentence before Nico pushed his lunch away from himself, and towards Leo, who instantly started scarfing it down. My brows started to knit in concern, for the both of them. I looked over at Nico. "... Do you... Do that often?"

"What?"

"Give other people your lunch." I elaborated. "Leo in particular."

"Uh... Yeah. Why?"

"You shouldn't do that, you need to eat."

"He n-" He stopped himself, staying silent for a few seconds before shaking his head. "... Well, y'know. It's not exactly appetizing anyway."

"So that's why you're so skinny."

He sighed. "Are you really still on my case about that?"

"Of course I am. Like I said, I care about you." I pulled out a plastic baggie full of my mom's special blue cookies. "Here. Have a cookie, at least." I pulled one out and held it out to him.

He took it. "You really take after your mom, y'know." He remarked, smiling a bit before he began to pull little bits of it off and pop them into his mouth. "... Did you make these?"

I laughed a little at the thought of me cooking. "Nah, my mom. I'd burn the complex down if I tried to. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was gonna ask for the recipe, because they're really good."

"Oh, you bake?"

He shrugged. "Whenever it's called for, yeah."

I smirked. "And when, exactly, is it 'called for'?"

"Eh, not a lot. Basically whenever there's a special occasion, or if Hazy's just had a good day, or a really crappy one. Or if we got in a fight, and I have to find a way to make it up to her... Ok, so kind of a lot."

I smiled. "You really love her, don't you?"

"Of course I do." He smiled a little. "I'd do anything for her. She's the only-"

There it was again. The silence, like he was about to say something he shouldn't have said.

I went back to my food, before looking over to see Leo had already finished his. I felt sorry for him, he must've been really hungry if he was eating so fast. I pulled out a second cookie from my bag and silently placed it next to him.

He didn't say anything, but wrapped it in a napkin for later and avoided eye contact the rest of the period, like I had embarrassed him.

Nico didn't seem to want to talk either, and when I looked over at my regular table, I saw Annabeth staring at me from across the room, her face scrunched in confusion.

I turned back to Nico. "... Anyway. So, I was wondering if maybe tomorrow, you'd like to... I dunno. Maybe come to my regular table?"

He looked back up at me, his eyes widened with shock. "Really?"

"Yeah. We've got two empty seats, Leo could come over too."

The elfish boy beside me perked his head up. "Your table? As in, the one with you and Annabeth, and... Piper? And Jason?" He seemed to be getting more and more excited with every person he named.

"You know any of us?" I asked.

"I... I used to know Jason. We both lived in LA for a while, and we were pretty close. Closer than..." He stopped, perking back up, his smile losing its softness and intimacy, becoming sharp and witty like the rest of him. "Well, most importantly, Piper." He bit his lip, wiggling his brows. "Oh, I'm gonna snatch her up right from under him."

Nico scoffed. "As if you'd have a chance with her."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm not the prettiest thing to look at. But I'm funny. And the ladies love a good laugh. Y'know, if you weren't so dry, maybe you could get some."

"You say that like you've gotten any."

"I've gotten plenty." He defended.

"Yeah, plenty of one-night stands, but nothing that lasts. I mean, have you even ever been on a proper date before?"

He crossed his arms in front of him. "Who needs dates when you can cut to the chase?"

I looked over at him in disgust, rage boiling in my chest. I'd... Heard people talk like that before as a kid, not just about women in general either, but even specifically my mother. "So that's what you think of women." I spat through grit teeth.

His brows shot up in surprise, before he laughed. The nerve of this kid. "It's not what I think of women that matters, it's what women think of me. And apparently, they think I'm hot stuff!"

I looked to Nico for his reaction. He just shook his head in silent disapproval of his antics.

"... So you just use women to inflate your own ego?"

"I use sex to inflate my ego." He corrected.

"Right, sex with women. In case you forgot that they're people too."

"So... You think I'm some kind of womanizing prick just because I sleep around, do you?" He asked, before laughing a little. "Jesus, you've got some weird hangups about sex. You and him both. Though, he's catholic, so he's at least got an excuse."

"I'm not catholic anymore." Nico insisted.

Leo shrugged again. "You may have taken the cross off your neck, but you still haven't taken that wooden spoon out of your ass."

He glared at him. "I don't have anything up my ass."

He smirked. "Maybe you'd be a little happier if you did."

Nico's face and neck flushed red with blood. "Fuck you, Leo!" He scolded. "God, you're like, the most obnoxiously, flamboyantly gay straight guy I've ever met."

Leo laughed just a bit at that. "Tell me about it."

When the bell rang, I stood up and started walking to the gym, but Annabeth caught up to me. "Hey, Perce?"

"Yeah?"

"Why weren't you with us at lunch?" She asked, grabbing for my hand. "I missed you. We all did."

I sighed, stopping to talk. "I just... I saw someone sitting by himself, and I... Felt bad."

She pouted. "So you'd rather hang out with a stranger than me?" She asked, her hands moving to my shoulders. "Because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

I froze up. "He wasn't exactly a stranger-"

"Relax, I'm kidding!" She teasingly pushed me away. "So who was he?"

"Nico." I answered.

She suddenly went silent. "... Like... That Nico? Y'know, as in... Baby brother?" Her voice was barely audible at those last two words.

I nodded.

"... You actually got him to talk to you? After... Everything that happened between you two?"

"I know, I can't believe it either!" I answer, my mouth curling into a smile.

"Was this the first time?"

I was grinning now. "I'm proud to say, no. I actually got him to come to my apartment yesterday, to... Y'know, give him that doll. He took it a lot better than I expected." My smile began to melt off of my face when I recalled how that conversation ended. "... But he did still run off."

She sighed. "Crying and screaming?"

"No, he just... Got up and started walking out, and didn't say another word to me until we met up again."

She nodded, leaning against the lockers. "What did you say?"

"Huh?"

"What did you say right before he left?"

I thought back to the conversation we'd been having before. "... I... I told him I cared about him."

"... Huh. That's weird. Why would that scare him off?"

I shrugged. "Beats me." Just then, the bell rang. "Shit, I'm late. See you in history!" I excused, making a mad dash for the gym, knowing Coach Hedge would pop a vein if I was more than five minutes late.

-

Nico's POV)

As I walked out of the school with Hazel, I expected her and I to walk along our usual route, but she pulled away from me. I looked over at her in question.

She noticed. "Oh, Frank's offered me a ride home."

"Really? That's great! Um, can I come with you too?"

She hissed through her teeth. "Sorry, but... There's only room for four people, and his dad's gonna be driving us and Clarisse home. So... No."

I tilted my head. "Does Frank not have a driver's license?"

"Oh, he does." A voice answered from behind. "Our dad's just a control freak. Now get out of my way, dweebs."

I nodded and watched from the shadows as she walked up to the car.

A very muscular man rolled down the window. "And who, exactly, is this?"

"Th-that's my g-girlfriend, sir." Frank answered from the back as Clarisse took shotgun.

He took off his sunglasses, revealing cold, cruel black eyes which scanned my little sister's body, and scoffed. "I'll be honest, Frank, I never thought I'd see the day when you'd come home with a girl on your arm. And you're a pretty one too, ain'cha?"

"Dad!" Frank scolded from the back.

"Relax, I'm just giving her a compliment."

She laughed nervously, standing dangerously close to his window. "Um, well thank you, sir."

He put on a wicked smile, reaching to wrap a finger around a strand of her hair. "I tell ya, you two are gonna make me some gorgeous grandchildren one day."

Without thinking, I smacked his hand away. "Hey! Hands. Off. My. Sister!" I punctuated each word by stepping closer between them, until I was leaning my face into his car door.

One of his eyebrows quirked up. "Excuse me, that's... Your sister?" He asked. "Her?"

"Yeah. And with all due respect, which is none, I don't appreciate the way you're treating her."

He scoffed. "Jesus, you two are sensitive."

I gripped the bottom of the open window until my knuckles ached, and turned back to face Hazel, who had started backing away like she didn't want to be involved. "Hazy, I suggest you cover your ears, because I'm about to use some very unsavory language." She nodded, covering her ears with her hands, and I turned back to the driver. "Now you listen here, you piece of shit. She's fifteen, do you hear me!? Fif-fucking-teen! Your comments are wildly inappropriate and frankly? Disgusting."

"Oh really? And what, exactly, are you gonna do about it?"

I grabbed his shirt collar. "You don't wanna know. Trust me, you don't wanna know what I'm willing to do to you if you ever put her in this kind of uncomfortable situation ever again. Let's just say, you won't be able to hurt her, or anyone, for that matter. Capiche, fuckface?" His mouth was hung open as he nodded, and from the shotgun seat, I could see Clarisse staring at me with... Admiration? I dropped him and turned to Hazel, taking her wrists in my hands and gently lowering them to signal that I'm done chewing him out. "Now, do you still want to ride with them? Because I can still walk you home like usual if you want."

She thought for a moment, looking behind me, before giving her answer. "I'll be alright in the car. Frank's got my back." She then went to sit next to him in the back, his arm wrapping around her shoulders. "... Thanks, by the way."

"No problem, just... Be safe. And Frank?"

His head popped up, eyes wide like a deer who's just spotted a hunter. "Yes sir?"

I smiled a little at that. I'm six months younger than him and he's calling me sir. "That threat hanging over your father's head? It's hanging over yours too."

He gulped. "Y-yes sir."

-

When I got home, she was already there, working on her homework at the island, and I immediately started working on dinner, boiling some bowtie pasta and getting out a jar of Alfredo sauce. I know it's not the best, or the most authentic, but it's cheap, and I rarely have the energy to make the real thing anyway.

When I sat down to eat, I noticed she was barely picking at hers. "... What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm just... I've just lost my appetite, that's all."

I sighed. "You're a horrible liar, Hazy. I can tell when you're upset." I stabbed a bowtie with my fork. "Why are you trying to deny it anyway? That's not like you, y'know? You're usually so.. Open. Do you feel like... Like you can't talk to me about it?"

She took a forkful into her mouth. "... You wouldn't understand. Things like this don't really... Happen to boys."

"... Things like...?"

"Like... What happened today, I just..." She shook her head. "... I feel gross. And it's making me... Rethink some stuff."

"Like what?"

"Like... Our relationship." She sighed. "I... I mean, he's the best boyfriend I could ask for, but... His sister's a jerk, his dad's an even bigger jerk, and... I dunno. I'm not sure I want to marry into that kind of family."

"Woah, woah, wait, marry!?" I stood up. "You're fifteen! You should not be thinking like that so soon."

She crossed her arms in front of her. "Nico, that's what people do when they're in love! They get married, eventually."

"Not necessarily! I mean, you've only known him since July, don't you think you're taking this a little too fast?"

"You're not even listening to what I'm saying! You're just getting all hung up on the whole marriage thing-"

"I am listening! And I'm trying to tell you that you're making this way more complicated than it needs to be. I mean, this is your first love for christ's sake! It's probably not gonna survive past his graduation anyw-..."

The look of betrayal on her face made my heart drop to the floor. I don't think I'd ever seen her that upset. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides before she stood to run up the stairs, leaving me alone in the kitchen.

I sighed and put our leftovers up before beginning to look in the cabinets for flour and sugar, having decided to make her strawberry shortcake, as an apology, trying not to let the... Urge... Get to me.

You hurt her.

She's the only reason you're still alive. And you hurt her.

And now you're gonna try and bribe her with food so she won't be mad at you, as if that makes it ok. As if doing one nice thing for her will erase the damage you've done.

You are a horrible person, you know that right?

You're a horrible person, and you deserve to feel pain.

You need to feel pain.

You need pain like you need water.

I considered neglecting the oven mitts for a second, just to take the edge off so I won't bleed again. I hate it, so much. I hate the stinging that flares up when water hits the wounds, and the fact that it's driving me away from the shower. I hate the way the scars form, the raised web of crosshatching they've formed into. I hate not being able to control my emotions enough to stop, even though I know I should.

Ultimately though, I decided against it. I would scream if I burned myself. And dad was behind me on the couch. I wouldn't want to aggravate any potential hangover he could have. In fact, I made a note to set some pain pills and water on his table after this. For now, though, I was headed up to Hazel's room, a plate in one hand the other focused on knocking. "Go away." She pleaded, her voice audibly raw from crying.

"I made you something." I offered.

She paused. "... C'mon in."

I turned the knob and set the plate on her nightstand. "... I'm sorry about what I said. I never should've let those words slip out of my-"

"No, you..." She sniffed. "You're right. I don't know why it was a g-good idea to..." She burst into tears again, tightly hugging her pillow to her chest. "... W-what if he... What if he goes b-back to Canada for college, a-and then just... F-forgets about me!?"

"Hazy, no!" I sat next to her on the bed. "Nobody could ever forget about you. You're the sweetest, most earnest, most amazing girl I've ever met, and everyone around you is extremely lucky to have you in their lives." I put a hand on her back as she buried her face into her pillow. "Look, I can't see into the future. I can't say for sure if you two are gonna work out, and it's not my place to guess. I... I'm so, so sorry for putting the thought into your mind that you won't. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

Her eyes slowly lifted from her pillow to look at me, scleras pink and tender. "... Yeah."

I hugged her shoulders. "Thank you. Look, no matter what happens, you love him now, don't you?"

She nodded.

"Then you won't need to worry about his family, ok?" My arm relaxed away from her back. "He can't choose the blood in his veins, but he can choose who has his heart. If he truly loves you, he'll put you first, even if it means cutting those jerks out of his life."

"... And if he doesn't?"

I gave her a sad smile. "Then he's not worth your time, sorellina." I stood up. "Alright, is this gonna be enough to eat?"

She grabbed the plate beside her, stabbing it with the fork. "Yeah, thanks."

"No problem, Hazy. I... I think I'm gonna go to bed soon."

"Wait... Can you stay in mine tonight?" She asked.

"Of course I can, I just have to go get changed." I slipped into my room and took off my clothes, hanging up my dad's jacket in my closet and slipping on some navy blue sweatpants and a black sweater that hung off my shoulder a little, and went back to find that she had finished her dessert. "You want me to put that in the sink?"

She smiled a little. "Yeah, thanks."

I did as she asked before grabbing a cup, going to the downstairs bathroom and filling it up with tap water while I looked in the medicine cabinet for some aspirin. Once I found it, I pulled it out and took both to my father, setting them down on the coffee table in front of him.

He didn't say anything. He didn't even look up at me. He just kept staring blankly at the TV. I let out a heavy sigh, walking back up the stairs, cursing myself for the stinging in my chest. Of course he didn't thank me, what did I expect?

I slipped in bed next to her and let her cuddle up to me, pulling the thick light pink comforter over us and relaxing at the heat radiating from her body. It didn't take long for her to go to sleep, but I had taken my phone, so I silently played random phone games for hours, until my eyelids were too heavy to keep open, until none of the objectives made sense to me anymore, and I crashed with her, hoping I wouldn't be sent back to the realm of nightmares. I wouldn't want to wake her up, after all.

"I love you." I whispered, before closing my eyes.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

As I sat down in my usual seat, I noticed there were two beautiful black-haired girls standing in the doorway, one with her head down, mascara running down her face. The other girl looked fed up, like she'd been bawling her eyes out all day and it was getting on her nerves, which immediately made me dislike her. That's the last reaction you should have to someone having an emotional breakdown. Then again, was I really any better with my father? No. So did I have a right to judge this random girl I've never actually spoken to? Obviously not. That's not even a question.

Mr. Blofis turned to face them both. "Silena, you were absent for the first two days, and you missed out on all the fun we had!" He didn't sound angry, more... Concerned. "What happened?"

The taller one answered for her. "She's just been moping around all summer, and I guess she wasn't quite done by the time school came around."

He got up from his desk to get closer to the shorter one, Silena. "What happened over the summer?" She just shook her head and sat at her desk, right behind me. "... Well, ok, if you don't wanna talk about it, you don't have to. But I'll need to keep you a little after so you can catch up. There's not much to catch up on though, just one little assignment, so don't worry."

She nodded, not looking up from her desk.

I almost wanted to ask her what was going on, but... I didn't want to pry, so I just left it alone. Though, I did notice Clarisse staring at her, almost... Sympathetic. Wow, I didn't expect that. I also noticed that she had a black eye, probably from a fight.

That was when the taller girl sat next to me, making my head swim in a pool of lavender perfume. "Heya, name's Drew." She smiled, her teeth perfectly straight and perfectly white, canines sanded down. "Heard you were single."

"Uh, yeah."

"Mhm... I also heard your daddy's got some money." She laid her hand on my arm.

I jerked it away. "Yeah, why? Do you... Need something?"

She scoffed. "Are you accusing me of being poor?"

"Woah, hey, nobody said anything about-"

"You listen here, my mother is a fucking supermodel. She's not poor."

"Um, ok. Then why were you asking about money?"

She shrugged. "I just don't like associating with... Well, y'know."

"Hey, fuck you!" Percy interrupted. "You think you're so much better than everyone else here, don't you?"

"This isn't your conversation, pissy." She snarled, before turning back to me, sweet as saccharine, or antifreeze. "So, is it true?"

I sighed, turning my face away from her. "I mean, we're not like, the richest people alive. But he's a mortician, so it's not like we'll run out of business any time soon."

"Sorry, a what now?" She asked, her voice and face having lost all sly, conniving sensuality, replaced only with shock.

"A mortic-"

"Ew!" She jerked away from me, wiping her hands on her shirt. "I can't believe I was about to... Ugh!" She then stood up and raised her hand. "Mr. Blofis, I need to go to the bathroom and wash my hands, just to make sure I don't have the plague..." She looked me up and down, the pink heart drawn on her cheek in lip liner glinting in the stark white lights of the classroom. "... Or AIDS." She added, cruelly smirking.

Mr. Blofis looked up from his paperwork. "... Try to be back in five minutes." She hurried over to the door, but before she could leave, he spoke again. "One more thing, I'll need to see you in my office after school."

She tensed up and mumbled out a 'yes sir' before going to the bathroom. She kept to herself the rest of class, but other than that, nothing was out of the ordinary.

As soon as I got out of class, though, Clarisse surprised me again. This time, by yanking me by my wrist into the broom closet. I yelped in shock and pain, and as soon as the doors were shut, I looked up at her coal-black eyes, normally harsh and intimidating, now... Slightly less so. I still glared up at them in the dark, holding my wrist with my other hand. I think I felt a few of my wounds open back up. "What the hell!? You're gonna make me miss class!"

"Which means I'll be missing class too. So..." She started. "Listen, I don't usually do this-"

"Don't usually do what? Yank random people into the broom closet with you!?"

"Oh, no I do that all the time. But never... For this reason." She sighed. "You... What you did yesterday... That took guts. And... I respect you for that. I mean, I'm a full foot taller than you and twice your weight in pure muscle, and I'm still scared shitless of my father."

Her words rang in my head, and my eyes slowly made their way towards her black eye. "... Oh." Was all I said, barely breathing it out.

"What do you mean, 'Oh'?"

I chewed my lip, looking down at my shoes. "... So that's why you're such a jerk."

She shook her head. "What?"

I sighed. "Was he the one that did... That... To you?"

She turned away and didn't answer.

"Christ, I... I'm so sorry. I... I had no idea he was... I mean, I knew he was a jerk, but... Fuck."

She rolled her eyes. "Look, I was just trying to... Commend you, I guess, and here you are, getting all up in my business."

"You can't just make it seem like you're in danger and expect me not to have questions!"

"Danger? Kid, I'm not five. I can handle myself out there. I'm the girl everyone's scared of, the girl that shoves people in lockers and gives them swirlies in the toilet. I'm the bully. So why do you care so much about what's happening between me and my dad? You must have a savior complex or something."

I grit my teeth. "Try basic empathy. First of all... Do you need me to call someone?"

"Like who?"

I shrugged. "I dunno... The cops?"

She smirked. "Oh, you innocent thing. The cops won't do anything. I mean, he's one of them after all."

"Well, there has to be someone that can help!"

"Kid... You don't need to get all worked up about it. Any day now, I'll get enough money scraped up to get an apartment, and I'll never have to face that pig again. This conversation is over." She swung open the door, only to run into her rival: Octavian.

See, the thing with those two is, Clarisse just wants to hurt people. She just needs someone to take her anger out on, and if you happen to get in her way, you'll be a target. But Octavian... He's worse, because he wants to control you. He wants to make you act with complete reverence towards him, and he'll use gossip, blackmail, and general humiliation to punish you when you don't. I'm sure if he could find some way to declare himself the pope, he would.

He snarled up at her. "And just what were you two doing in the broom closet?"

Her hands curled up into fists. "None of your business, pipsqueak."

"Oh, I think it's all of my business. Were you two swapping spit or not?"

I gagged at the euphemism, but she was unfazed. "I swear to fuck, Octopussy, if you don't lay off me, I'll make you relive that night at the carnival."

"Wait, the carnival?" I cut in. "As in... That carnival?"

They both looked over at me. "How did you-?"

"Frank told me. Well... He didn't tell me everything. He told me you went to beat up some smaller kids and left him alone."

Octavian's face scrunched in confusion at that. "Frank...? Oh, you must mean the fat one."

She punched him in the gut at that, causing him to crumple to the floor. "Don't talk shit about my little brother. I'm the only one allowed to do that."

He glared up at her, clutching his stomach. "Maybe you should pick on someone your own size, bitch." He grabbed at her hips and pulled her down with him, and I scampered off to toxicology, not wanting to see how this ends. Probably not well, for either of them. Especially Clarisse, considering the freak brings a pocket knife to school.

-

Percy's POV)

When I sat down at my usual lunch table, I noticed Leo dragging Nico by the elbow towards us. I'd honestly forgotten about yesterday's offer, but I didn't mind. Well, I didn't mind Nico being there, but I wasn't sure how to feel about Leo anymore. In any case, they sat down without objection, Nico pushing his tray towards Leo. I had packed a grilled cheese for him this time, because damn it, I was worried about him, and he took it without saying a word. Though, I noticed Leo straining himself to eat at a slower pace, like he didn't want anyone to get suspicious. He may be a womanizer, but... My heart still went out to him. There was clearly something going on with him after school that nobody knew about, and I dreaded to find out what that was.

I turned towards Annabeth, who was dejectedly poking at her meatloaf. "How's it going, wise girl?"

She groaned and turned to me. "Three days down, one hundred seventy-seven more to go."

"Wait, I thought you liked school!" Jason commented.

Annabeth glared at him. "Just because someone's a very skilled plumber doesn't mean they like having to deal with clogged toilets all day."

"Well, okay sure," Leo spoke up, his mouth full of tater tots. "you may not like the thing itself, but don't you at least like the fact that you're good at something?"

Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "Yeah... Well I used to feel that way. But now I'm barely scraping by in French, so even that consolation prize has gone out the window. And don't talk with your mouth full. Christ, didn't your mother teach you any manners?"

For a split second, sadness flashed in his eyes, but he was back before my girlfriend seemed to register it, and were it not for Nico shooting me a look, I would've just assumed I'd imagined it. "So, enough about me. Jason, we've got a lot of catching up to do!"

Jason looked down quizzically at the boy. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on, dude!" Leo whined. "You don't remember? I was seven, you were eight, we were best friends back in LA!"

Jason stared at him blankly through his glasses. "No, my best friend was Reyna."

"... Reyna?" He asked. "Never heard of her."

"Yeah, I don't think you ever would've, she's still in LA. Look, dude, I have... No idea who you are."

"Leo! Leo Valdez! Remember, I went to your house a couple times? Even stayed over once or twice?"

He seemed to search through the filing cabinets in his brain, Leo, Leo, Leo, where do I know a Leo...? "... Oh! You were the kid that bit me after I gave you my chips!"

"Yeah! You were my best friend, even if I wasn't yours."

Jason snorted. "And yet, you bit me."

Leo rolled his eyes. "I was seven. Back then, if I liked you, I bit you."

"And you're still hung up on this friendship from like, ten years ago... Why exactly?"

"Well... Because I never thought I'd see you again when I moved away. And ever since I found out that you went to the same high school, I... I've been trying to find a way to talk with you again without seeming like a total creep. I guess I blew my chance, huh?"

Jason sighed. "... I guess if you're that desperate for friends-"

"I'm not desperate! Who said anything about desperate?" The way he was acting now though seemed... Unnatural. Fervent and forced and almost manic. "I have the ladies, right?"

I groaned, but Jason leaned in. "Hold on, you're a playboy now?"

He laughed. "Yeah, I know. A face like this, with a body count in the double digits? You'd think it was Opposite Day all year round. But you'd be surprised what a skillful tongue can do." He wiggled his brows. "And I mean both ways you could take that."

I cringed at how horny this guy is, and turned to Annabeth. "So... Anyway, you said you were 'barely scraping by' in French?"

"Yeah, there was a pop quiz today, and... I got a B!" She cupped her face in her hands. "A fucking B!"

I laughed. "Hey, I'm happy to get a B."

She pouted. "You don't understand. This is the first B that I've ever gotten. Like... Ever."

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but it probably won't be your last. I wouldn't worry about it, though."

"Of course you wouldn't."

I rolled my eyes. "Look, it's only day three, and it was only a pop quiz. I'm sure you'll be fine!"

"I don't wanna be fine, I wanna be great! And it's not just about the grade itself. It's like... What if this sets a precedent? What if this is some kind of bad omen for how my senior year plays out?"

Piper laughed. "It's just this one class, y'know. If you want, I could tutor you."

Her head whipped around to face her. "Excuse me, tutor?"

"Yeah, I know French."

"I... No, I don't need a tutor! I'm not some kind of juvenile delinquent!"

My arms crossed in front of me in defense. "There's no shame in needing a tutor..."

She turned to me. "Well not for you, obviously. You can't help that you've got the attention span of a goldfish. But me? I'm supposed to be the role model! I'm supposed to be perfect!"

I smiled. "You can't be perfect all the time, y'know." I kissed her on the cheek.

Nico turned away from me at that, like he couldn't bear to see us being affectionate towards each other, but he spoke up a second or two after. "... So what's your worst class?"

"Huh?"

"The class you're doing the worst in. What is it?"

I shrugged. "Math. It's always been math. And I've got Mr. Wortham's class too, which isn't exactly known for being hard."

He perked up. "Oh, I took his class last year. I could help you out... Y'know, if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean... You've been really nice to me so far, despite... Well, the last time we talked. And I... I wanna return the favor."

Leo snapped his fingers. "Return the favor, exactly! That's what I meant! You were nice to me even after I bit you, and I've gotta pay you back for that. See? I'm not desperate! I just-"

Jason held his hand up. "Leo, don't. You're lonely, don't deny it. I can tell."

Everyone at the table was silent for a second or two, until Leo's laugh bubbled up again, this time forced and awkward, trying to sound casual. "I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, besides the ladies, I've got Nico!" He jabbed the pale boy in the ribs. "Right, buddy?"

"Ow!" He turned to his friend. "I mean... Yeah. You've got me. But... There are some... Things... That I've wanted to talk to you about, for a long time."

Leo stood up abruptly, a smile plastered on his face. "Ok, enough of all this touchy-feely bullshit, who wants to see me do a cartwheel!?"

"Leo-" Nico started, interrupted by Leo's foot slamming on the table.

"On the table!" He finished.

Piper stuffed her salad back into her bag. "I'm not letting you get floor germs all over my food, you maniac."

He laughed again, a little more genuine this time. "Oh, you don't want my grubby mitts on your stuff, do you?" He stepped off the table and pulled something out of his pocket. "Well, I bet you won't like that I stole your phone, then!"

Her jaw dropped, and she stood to try grabbing it out of his hand. Key word: Try. Being on opposite ends of the table didn't make it easy. "Hey, no fair! At least when I steal things, I give them back!"

"Probably because you don't actually need them, and you just do it for attention." Jason calmly pointed out.

"Yes, exactly! You've got the attention you wanted, now give me back my phone."

"I don't think so, princess."

"Ugh, fine. I'll just buy a new one."

His brow raised. "You say that so... Casually. I don't think I've ever actually had a phone, and you make it sound like you get a new one every week."

She shrugged. "Yeah, well, I'm filthy fucking rich, so... The most I'll have to worry about is my contacts. Well, and burning through the first thousand or so levels in candy crush before it starts getting hard."

He stared at her in admiration. "... How filthy fucking rich, exactly?"

She smirked at him dead on. "My dad's a movie star and my mother is a model."

"Well, fuck." He sat back down. "So, you could be my sugar mommy then?" He purred.

"Ew, no!"

He pouted. "... Right. Because of him." He pointed at Jason, who strangely, didn't seem that uncomfortable with someone who called himself his best friend openly hitting on his girlfriend right in front of him. If I were in his position, I'd be furious. But he's always been more levelheaded than me, so there's that to consider.

"However," His girlfriend piped up. "I would like to give you a proposal. How about we just cut out the middle man, and I buy you a phone?"

"That'd be great! And then... What do I have to do?"

She shot him a quizzical look. "Uh, just do whatever I guess. Hang around, be funny."

"Well, I was gonna do that any-... Yeah! Sounds perfect!"

"I'll take you after school."

"... Speaking of after school..." Nico mumbled, looking to me. "... Are you up for my help or not?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, sure. I honestly forgot you offered for a while, we got so off-topic. Should I come over to your place this time? Or is the ban still in effect?"

He sighed. "Yeah. Not because I hate you, though. Because I don't anymore. But... It's a mess."

"So my place again, then?"

"Until further notice, Jackson."

-

"... And you forgot to carry the one again. You want me to just do this for you?"

I laughed. "I thought you'd never ask."

He rolled his eyes and took the pencil from the desk, sitting on the bed with my math binder. "Ok, let's see..." A silence filled the room, interrupted only by the soft scribbling of the pencil. Once he was done, I... Realized something.

"... You said you took his class last year, yeah?"

"Um... Yeah, why?"

I turned around in my swivel chair to face him. "So, you would've been a sophomore. Assuming you didn't get held back, of course."

"Well, I didn't. So yeah, I was a sophomore when I took his class. Why does that matter to you?"

"Because it's a senior class."

He shrugged. "Yeah, well I took all the math classes I needed to graduate in my first two years."

"Wow... You must be some kind of math wizard, then."

"Nah. I just wanted to get them out of the way so I could focus on the fun stuff."

"Fun stuff? Like what?"

"Eh, history, art, English. The humanities."

"Wait, English is fun for you?" I asked.

He looked confused. "Well... Yeah. Sure, it's not the most... Practical subject. But you basically just get to read stories all day. You don't like that?" He asked, before realizing something. "Oh, right... Well, but you've got that display on."

I sighed. "That's not the only reason I don't like English. It... There are only certain kinds of stories that you read, y'know? The classics. Like Huck Finn and The Great Gatsby and... Taming of the Goddamn Shrew."

He laughed. "I don't think 'goddamn' was in the original title."

I loved hearing him laugh, seeing those overly-bitten pink lips of his curl into a smile. It was rare, but... No, it's because he was normally so sullen, so cynical, that it was so breathtaking whenever he was visibly happy. Like a thunderstorm in a desert. And his voice... His voice was barely accented enough for me to notice if I'm really paying attention, and a little higher pitched than mine, soft and vulnerable and... Pure.

It was everything I wished mine could be.

But it can't.

Because of him.

Because of what he's done to me.

He's left me damaged, broken, and no matter how hard I try, no matter how badly I want to, I'll never escape that. I'll never be normal. I'll never be whole. I'm Percy Jackson, and there's no cure for that.

Images flashed through my mind and I felt my heart pound against my ribcage, felt my hands clench into fists, and I couldn't breathe. I hate this. I hate feeling so powerless, so weak. I'm stronger than this, I know I am. I have to be. I've had to be all my life.

Two small hands laid on my shoulders, cold but gentle, and I looked up to see Nico worriedly hovering over me. "What did I say?" Looking up at him, I felt my heartbeat slowing down, and I could breathe again. With his big, brown eyes and his slightly parted lips, and the ceiling light shining right behind his head, he really did look like an angel. And right now, he was acting like one. He made me feel... Safe.

I pulled him close, and though he let out a squeak of surprise, he didn't step away. One of his hands rested on my back, the other still hanging by his side. I felt tears prick at my eyes, and let out a sob, then more as he started to rub my back, that beautiful, perfect voice speaking again. "Hey, big guy. It's ok. You don't have to tell me if you don't want, but if I did something to upset you-"

"No, it... It wasn't you. I just..." Part of me wanted to tell him everything. Tell him about what I've been through, but another part of me knew that the words would feel like acid on my tongue, another wanted me to move past this already, and still another knew that I couldn't ruin him, someone so perfect, so unscarred. "... I need my mom." I choked out. She's the one person that understands, the one person I let understand. And that's only because she was in it with me. If I had any choice in the matter, she wouldn't.

He sighed. "Are you gonna let me go so I can get her?"

I nodded into him and relaxed my arms, looking up at him as he walked out the door, leaving me to hold myself while he fetched my mom.

As soon as she saw me, she knew exactly what happened. "Oh, baby..." One of her hands cupped my cheek, her thumb wiping away my tears before she led me to my bed, both of us moving to sit down.

I curled up into a ball on her lap, the way I did when I was smaller. It must've looked ridiculous from the outside looking in, an 18 year old boy cuddling with his mom as if he were still 8, but it's normal for us. Well, not normal. But... It happens, and there's no shame in it. Never has been, never will be.

She turned to Nico, who was still lingering awkwardly in the doorway. "I, um... I think it's best if you just... Come back tomorrow, okay? These kinds of... Episodes tend to take a lot out of him."

"Sure." Nico responded, slipping out of the room. "See you tomorrow, then."

She sighed, turning to me. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. You deserve so much better than this." She pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "You wanna just lay down for a bit?"

I nodded, not finding the energy to speak, and she stood up, pulling the sheet over me as I laid down on the bed.

"Ok. I love you, Percy."

She ran her fingers through my hair and left to close the bedroom door, and I hugged the Blahaj Annabeth got me for our first anniversary tightly to my chest.

I was nine the first time he hit me.

"... Percy?" She started, wiping my busted lip with hydrogen peroxide. It stung, but I grit my teeth. "What you just did was very brave, and very selfless, and I never want you to do it again."

I tilted my head in confusion. "Why not? If it's such a good thing, why don't you want me to do it?"

"Baby, I'm your mother. I'm supposed to be the one protecting you, not the other way around."

"But then... What do I do next time?"

Her arms wrapped around me, and she started crying, laying with me on my bed. "Sweetheart, there's not gonna be a next time. First thing tomorrow morning, we're going to the police, and they're gonna handle this."

She kept her word.

But they didn't.

And there was a next time.

But he's dead, he's been dead for 6 years. All of that's behind us now, right?

Clearly not.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

I was a wreck.

I didn't look like it. I wasn't crying, or screaming, or hyperventilating. I wasn't doing... Anything.

I had shut down completely.

Normally, I would feel angry. I'd feel pissed, I'd want to swim to Hart Island myself with a baseball bat, dig up his body, and bash his rotting, maggot-infested head in just to say I got my revenge. But right now?

The only thing I felt was exhausted.

I never wanted to get out from the covers again. I wanted to stay right here, in my blanket burrito, staring off into space. I always have this instinct to lock myself in my room and wait for the storm to pass. My bedroom was my sanctuary. My asylum.

Nothing can get to you here.

You're safe.

And yet... He still found a way to get to me.

To haunt me.

Now, I felt the emotions swelling in me again.

Anxiety.

Betrayal.

Violation.

A knock on the door make me jump out of my skin. "Sweetheart? It's just me, baby."

My heartbeat slowed down again. "Yeah?"

"Dinner's ready. Are you ready to come out?"

I sighed, sitting up on the bed. "... No."

"Oh, honey. This one must've really shaken you up, huh?"

I felt my throat start to knot up. "M-hm..."

She sighed. "Do you need me to come back in?"

"... Yeah."

She opened the door and sat down next to me. I laid my head in her lap and felt myself begin to cry again. "I... I don't know why I'm crying so much..."

"Because you're upset, sweetie." Her fingers ran through my hair, sliding down onto her back. "It's ok. You've been through a lot. Just let it out, baby."

I held her close to me and started to cry into her chest as she repeated words of comfort. She really is the best mom I could ask for.

After I was calm, she spoke again. "Baby... If this is about the date-"

"It's not that, It..." I sighed. "... I just... I started getting insecure, and... It all just spiraled out from there."

"Insecure? About what?"

"About... My voice." I admitted. "I... I sound ugly... I'm never gonna be normal, because of... Him. And every time I open my mouth..."

She held me close. "Oh, sweetie... Y'know, I feel like that too sometimes."

I looked up at her. "... You do?"

"M-hm. You wanna know how I make myself feel better?"

I nodded into her chest.

"Well, I try to remind myself that... That's what he'd want me to think. He'd want me to feel ugly, to feel dirty, to feel unlovable. So when I start to tell myself that I am, I'm letting him win. And I don't wanna let him win." Her hand started stroking my back. "Your voice... It's not just a reminder of what's happened to you, it's proof that you've survived, that you've put in the time and the effort to heal. And I'm so proud of you for doing that, don't you ever forget it."

I smiled. "I won't. Thanks, mom." I yawned.

"Tired already?"

I nodded again.

She sighed. "Alright. I'll have to put dinner in the fridge, then. But I can stay with you for a few more minutes if you want."

"Um... I think I'll be ok. You go ahead."

"Alright." She sat back up, sliding her legs off of the bed. "Call for me if you need anything."

"I will. Love you."

"I love you too." She stood up and walked out of my room, and my eyes slipped closed as I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up next, it was ten at night, and I was a little disoriented, but I did remember that I hadn't had dinner yet, so I got out of bed and went to the kitchen to microwave some. She'd made pork chops and gravy tonight, and when I sat to eat, I heard a ping from my phone and picked it up, finding a text message from a number not in my contacts. I normally didn't have a problem with texts thanks to dark mode, but it was a long one, so I used the text-to-speech option on my phone.

'Hey, Nico here. Sorry for texting out of the blue, and also for potentially waking you up or otherwise disturbing you. I know it's late, but I was just wondering if you're ok. I know your mom has probably handled it already, but I wanted to check in on you myself, just to be sure. In case you're wondering how I got your number, you have each other's written out on the fridge as your emergency contacts. By the way, why do you do that? Are you scared you'll forget or something? You don't have to answer that question if it's too personal, I was just wondering.'

I felt... Something warm in my chest. Not even the soulless voice of the text-to-speech robot could hide the pure-hearted, tender concern behind his words, and again... He made me feel safe. I could feel a certain... Connection with him. But no, not that kind of connection. It couldn't be. He was just... A friend. Even being his friend was exciting, considering our rocky past. And that was all I needed, it had to be.

I sighed, smiling before I sent a reply:

'aww, u care abt me <3'

-

Nico's POV)

As soon as I got through the door, my eyes locked onto Hazel as she sat at the kitchen table, eating that leftover bowtie pasta, eyes glued to the phone in her hands. "Hey, sorry I was late again."

"It's ok, just text me next time. Where were you, by the way?"

"I was actually at a friend's house."

She looked up at me. "Wait, really? Who?"

"Percy." I answered, sitting next to her. "What'cha doing on your phone? Texting someone?"

She moved it away from me. "Yes, now stop trying to peek! Also... Since when are you on a first name basis with Percy Freaking Jackson!?"

I sighed. "Since... A long time." That name hasn't always been uttered in love, either. But she didn't need to know about that long-dead grudge match. "They used to live in the house across the street, actually."

She dropped her fork. "... Really?"

"... Yeah, why?"

"I... I heard someone got shot in that house."

I did a double take. "... How... How do you know that?"

She shrugged. "Leo told me a couple years back, y'know back when I still..." She sighed. "... He didn't die quickly either, forensic analysts said he'd been bleeding out on the floor for hours before he croaked, and it took weeks before his body was discovered. Six years later, and they still haven't found the gun. They didn't look that hard, really. I guess they figured that, since nobody claimed the body, nobody would be that torn up if the case went cold. So they just... Let it go cold."

"I don't think he should've told you all these gruesome details."

"Well, he didn't tell me everything. But what I didn't get from Leo, I got from the Stolls."

"I honestly don't care who it was that told you. You really shouldn't be exposed to that at such a young age."

"Nico, technically speaking, I'm not even a year younger. Just... Ten and a half months." She put the phone down. "If it makes you feel any better, they may have just been messing with me. Then again, they're the ones that moved in, so if anyone in our circle would know..." She stood up, putting the empty plate in the sink before walking to the base of the stairs. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Alright, love you." I waited until she was up the stairs before I stood to do the dishes, rolling my sleeves up. I always hated it, the soap would always seep into the bandages and irritate my cuts, and I'd have to scrub it off, which would undo the scabbing, meaning I'd be bleeding again. But somebody had to do it, and I didn't want it to be her. I want to be the one to take care of everything, so she can be a kid for as long as possible. Besides, that's what I deserve. The stress and exhaustion and stinging pain in my wrists, I deserve it all. And I try to take it with grace.

Once the dishes were done, I went over to the downstairs bathroom to replace my bandages. I always used the downstairs bathroom, for anything that wasn't the toilet. I couldn't risk her walking in on me and seeing what a mess I am. Looking over at the tub, though, I figured I may as well just bathe for once in my miserable life. I dumped all my clothes on the floor, looking over at the full-body mirror.

God, I'm disgusting.

Oh, you haven't showered in how long again? A week? And you're just now figuring that out.

I turned on the faucet and waited for it to fill up, bracing myself for the pain as I stepped into the tub, dunking my head in the water. And as I did, part of me wondered, what if I just... Stayed here? And never came back out? It would be so easy, just let go of the air in your lungs, replace it with water, and...

Hazel would be sad. And she wouldn't have me to take care of her, to do the dishes and the laundry and make dinner and ask about her boyfriend and tell her I love her. She'd be alone.

I came back up for air and reached for the shampoo bottle, then the conditioner, and finally unplugged the drain, letting the water out before I dried off with a towel, wrapped more bandages around my arms again, and slipped my shirt back on. I'd need to get more bandages soon, these were the last ones.

When I stepped out, I grabbed another hoodie and slipped it on, this time one of the zippered ones, and very big on me. Must be one of dad's. I climbed up the stairs, put my clothes up, and laid on the bed, playing on the phone for a while before suddenly remembering what I meant to do when I got home.

I almost wanted to call him, just to hear his voice, that... Deep, gravelly, sexy voice. Whoah, brain, let's not go there!

He'd probably just think I'm a scammer. So I texted him instead.

'Hey, Nico here. Sorry for texting out of the blue, and also for potentially waking you up or otherwise disturbing you. I know it's late, but I was just wondering if you're ok. I know your mom has probably handled it already, but I wanted to check in on you myself, just to be sure. In case you're wondering how I got your number, you have each other's written out on the fridge as your emergency contacts. By the way, why do you do that? Are you scared you'll forget or something? You don't have to answer that question if it's too personal, I was just wondering.'

It wasn't meant to be that long, but I kept thinking of new disclaimers I had to add so he wouldn't think badly of me. Of course, he probably does think badly of me, and he just doesn't want me to know it.

'aww, u care abt me <3'

I rolled my eyes at his teasing tone. 'Just answer the question, jackass-son.'

'meanie >:c'

I cracked a smile, rolling over onto my belly. 'so are you okay or not?'

'ye'

'That's good.'

'wat wld u do if I said no tho?'

I rolled my eyes. He texted like a caveman. Though, I imagine it's probably harder for him than it is for me. 'I would say that I'm sorry to hear that, and ask what I could do to make you feel better. Why?'

'JC'

'JC? What's that supposed to stand for?'

'just curious'

'Oh, so you actually can type like a normal person, you just choose not to.'

'shut up, ur being mean agn :c i just had a rlly shitty day yknow'

'Well, you told me you were ok, didn't you?'

'well yea but still, its mean 2b mean'

'Thank you, captain obvious. So... Is there anything I should know in case this happens again?' I typed out, chewing my lip, before erasing the second half and sending this instead: 'Thank you, captain obvious. Goodnight.'

'wait, one more thing'

I huffed in annoyance, looking over at the alarm clock. 10:12 'What is it, Percy?'

'y did u run off when u first came over?'

I froze.

He sent another text. 'like, i told u I care about u, and u just stood up n left? wat was that?'

I sighed, trying to figure out what I was gonna say. Oh, because I was about to cry, and I didn't want you to see me cry. Did I mention that I'm a total basket case? No? Because I totally am! I'm way too sensitive and will break down into tears at a moment's notice. Do with that information as you will.

'Oh I just remembered I had to go to the store and pick up some Nunya.'

'Nunya?'

'Nunya business.'

'alright then, keep your secrets. GN ghost boy'

'Goodnight.'

I turned my phone off and closed my eyes, burrowed in my covers.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

I was being stabbed in every part of my body with white hot knives, by a collection of demons that had strapped me down to a medical table. My throat was so raw from screaming that I had given up long ago. It wasn't gonna do anything anyway, I may as well just grit my teeth. I didn't even have any tears left to cry.

Or so I thought.

One of the demons, the most powerful one, started to morph into a human, one that I, unfortunately, recognized. The subject of my love, of my hate, of my shameful late night sessions where I imagine he's in my bed, his tanned, toned body laying on top of mine as he wordlessly, breathlessly fulfilled my darkest desires. He was the only reason I knew I liked men.

"... Percy?" I breathed out, an inexplicable hope swelling in my chest, that maybe it really was him, that he had come to save me.

But as a wicked smile spread across his face, his ocean green eyes glinting with malice, that hope was easily chased away. And as he spoke, fear replaced it. Fear far worse than anything I've ever experienced. "Be careful what you wish for, mortal." His hands grabbed my wrists. "Or you just might get it."

"No..." I whimpered. I felt fresh, hot tears run down my cheeks again. "Not this... Anything but this, please." I begged, knowing it wouldn't mean anything to the demon wearing Percy's face. If anything, it would egg him... It... On.

I guess that's what I get for indulging in my homosexual temptations. After all, that's part of the reason I'm here.

-

I woke up with a start, my heart beating out of my chest. I looked over at the clock, two in the morning. So, doing a little math, from ten to... Two, that's... 2 until midnight, and then 2 more... Four hours.

I got four hours of sleep. Sounds about right.

I shakily stood up from my bed, only wearing my pajama shirt and a pair of black boxers barely clinging to my hip bones, my breaths still irregular and shallow, and went to the downstairs bathroom, grabbing a disposable razor before I sat on the cold tile floor and dismantled it, bleeding out any lingering tendrils of the nightmare, as I usually did. I also usually brought my jacket down. But I could go back upstairs and put it on, and I never had to put as much effort into hiding this from him as I did to hide it from Hazel. There are some perks to being invisible after all.

It gave a strange comfort, the process of turning my pain into something physical, something...

Real.

Something that counts.

Once I was calm, I wrapped them with fresh bandages and headed back out to the kitchen, where I saw dad standing in front of the fridge, the door open, its light illuminating his miserable, unshaven face. "... Hey..." I stepped closer to him. "... What are you...?"

He wordlessly grabbed the orange juice and started chugging it straight from the carton. After a few glugs, he set it back in the fridge and slammed it shut. Well, I guess I'll have to put orange juice on the list. He turned back around and faced me, eyes struggling to stay focused. "... Uh... Hi. Uhhh..." He seemed to look down to my arms. "... What the hell...?" He looked... Disturbed, but blinked hard, shook his head, and tried to walk past me.

He was so drunk, however, that he tripped over his own feet and nearly fell flat on his face. He would've, were I not there to catch him. "Woah, ok, steady..." I helped him over to the couch and sat him down.

He curled up under his blanket again, turning the TV onto some random sitcom. "... You're a real saint, y'know that...?" He slurred out, sending a surge of conflicting emotions through my body. That's the closest he's said to 'thank you' in three and a half years now, and... Sure, the unexpected gratitude felt nice, nice doesn't even begin to cover it. But... I didn't trust it. Something told me that him bothering to tell me, out loud, that he appreciates what I do for him... It meant that something was wrong. And knowing my dad... I feared the worst. "... Why are you staring at me like that?" He asked.

"Um... No reason." I lied, shaking my head. "Sorry, I... I didn't even notice. Th-thanks, by the way."

He just nodded, silently watching the TV. I decided to watch with him for a little bit, my arms crossed and resting on the back, like I used to when I was younger. Not because the shows he watches are actually any good, but... Just to feel close to him.

This one is just like the others, a mom and a dad, and their children. A teenage daughter, a tween son, and a little girl they adopted in the pilot. They get into the usual shenanigans and misunderstandings, the awkward crushes, the harebrained schemes that always go awry, and I know he's thinking exactly what I'm thinking:

Why can't that be us?

The weight of my eyelids snaps me out of my jealous thoughts, and I go make myself a cup of instant coffee, the hot, bitter liquid perking me up just enough not to fall asleep again.

I climbed the stairs into my room, and the first thing I did was slip on my jacket. The second thing I did was turn on the banker's lamp I had on my desk and force myself to write. I haven't written anything since, what, Tuesday? It's Thursday now. I need to step it up if I'm gonna make it through junior year.

So I've read Romeo and Juliet many times over as a kid, I don't know why they were so fascinating to me back then. Maybe because it was a love story that ended in tragedy, and that was such a novel concept to me as a kid. Or maybe because the last part of it takes place in a tomb, and since my dad's a mortician and even runs a funeral home with his business partner... I don't know. That could be something I connect to, right? In a way not many people do? I mean... Like, I've never been scared of dead bodies, not like most kids are. In fact, that's always made me a social pariah, since I was super morbid, and they were put off by it, and I can't blame them since they were only children, and I was really pushy about it too, so I kind of deserve being the outcast, but it still hurt. Maybe that's something too. Maybe the part where Romeo gets banished could be something I can relate to... But that feels like a stretch. Anyway, I'm rambling, and I know I'm rambling, but I can't seem to stop (FIX THIS LATER) also why am I saying 'as a kid' so much? I need to fix that too. But also, hey, they're both catholic! Let's talk about that! So, fun fact about me, I'm also catholic, well not anymore, but like, I used to be. Ever since I was little, and now it's always gonna be a part of me, and it's really hard to let go of some of the things I've been taught, even though I really want to. And I feel like the whole catholicism aspect isn't talked about enough, since they kill themselves at the end. And, y'know, that's basically catholicism's most unforgivable sin, is suicide, self harm, shit like that. So in their minds, they were gonna go to hell for that, no doubt. And... Hell is... One of those things that I find hard to leave behind. But we're not here to talk about that, we're here to talk Shakespeare. (lol that rhymed) Anyway, so a lot of people would probably say that's a pretty downer ending, and I would agree. But I'd also say that makes the story more romantic, not less. Because like, they still choose to kill themselves, because they would rather be in hell together than go to a heaven where they'd have to be apart.

I sighed, standing up, not completely satisfied with my work. But it was at least something to give him on Friday.

Oh, who am I kidding? I can't send him this! I'm not just gonna let some random guy pilfer through the deepest layers of my psyche, who do I look like, some kind of attention whore?

Yeah, that's exactly what you are. You're an attention whore. You act like you want to be left alone, but secretly, all you want is for someone to come swooping in to save you. Preferably that Jackson boy. It's pathetic, honestly. You're pathetic.

I sigh, swallowing the lump in my throat and going downstairs.

Don't you dare cry. Don't you dare let anyone know how much of a fuckup you are. You don't have the right to play with their emotions like that.

After a while, I go back downstairs and start working on a few household chores, still nodding off a little, but not as bad as before. As I was packing her lunch, I could see the sun beginning to rise through the kitchen window, and I sigh, Sally's words popping into my mind:

Shouldn't that be your father's job?

Yeah, I thought bitterly. It should.

Hey, don't blame him. He can't help it, it's not his fault that he is the way he is.

I shook the thoughts out of my head and scrambled some eggs, laying a plate out on the counter with a glass of milk and a fork before I went to knock on her door. "... Hazy? I made breakfast, c'mon out."

After a little bit, she opened the door, still in her pajamas, her hair messy. "Hey, dude. You good? It's only 6:15 and you're already up."

I shrugged. "I just wanted to spend a little extra time on breakfast, guess I overshot it. Sorry I woke you up... Did you get enough sleep?"

"Well, I was up until midnight texting someone, so... No, not really."

"Oh, you poor thing... Well, I can put your breakfast in the fridge and let you sleep a little longer, if you want."

"Aww, you're so sweet." She pulled me into a bone-crushing hug, letting go as quickly as she held on. "But I wanna talk to you. Really talk to you." She went downstairs and I followed her, sitting next to her on the barstool.

I looked over. "So, who were you talking to?" I asked.

"I don't have to tell you!" She answered playfully.

"It was Frank, wasn't it?"

She rolled her eyes. "Ok fine, you got me."

I stood up to make myself a second cup of coffee, just to be safe. "Why were you two lovebirds on the phone so late anyway?" I asked, picking up a mug that said 'world's #1 dad' on it. "Were you doing that thing teen couples do in movies where you're like 'you hang up first' and they're like 'no you hang up first' and then you just... Keep doing that for hours on end?"

She laughed. "Kinda, yeah. Also sending cute sappy memes to each other."

"Aww..." I filled the cup with steaming hot water. "... I didn't know Frank had a phone."

"Well, technically, he doesn't. But... His sister lets him use hers."

I smiled a bit at that, setting the cup down and reaching for the coffee. "See? She's not so bad."

"Ehh... I mean, I guess. It's still a little nerve-wracking, not gonna lie. Knowing she could scroll through our texts whenever she wants."

"Yeah... What's his number?" I asked, pulling out a pen and turning to her, leaving the water unflavored for the moment. "Just in case I wanna reach him somehow."

She looked up at me skeptically. "... What if Clarisse answers?"

I shrugged. "I'll just hang up." I assured her.

She considered for a moment, before holding her hand out for the pen and pulling off a sticky note from the stack on the island. Once I handed it to her, she wrote it down in the perfect practiced cursive she no doubt had drilled into her from Saint Helena's School for Girls, then handed it to me.

"Thanks." I turned back around, grabbed a packet of instant coffee, tore it open, and poured it in, stirring it with a spoon before turning back and sitting next to her, to find that she had started staring at the TV.

"Brianna!" Whined the little sister on the TV. "You can't put your clothes on my side of the closet!"

Brianna rolled her eyes. "Haley, you were the one that pushed them aside to look for Mr. Mustache." She held up a stuffed rabbit with a paper mustache glued on. "He was under my bed, by the way. What are boys gonna think if they come over and see stuffed animals on my side of the room?"

"It's not my fault!" Haley insisted. "I gave it to Rocket to play with, I don't tell him where to put the things he plays with!"

They kept on bickering like that, and eventually, it cut to a shot of the father, shaking his head. "Oh, brother..."

"Hey!" Piped up the little boy. "What did I do?" He protested, resulting in yet another use of canned laughter.

I looked over at her. She was silent for a long time, watching the episode play out. As it turns out, this one happened to be one of those 'very special episodes', where Haley gets so upset at her older sister that she tries to run away and find her birth parents, before her dad stops her and tell her that this is her home, and these are her family, no matter what.

I put a hand on hers. "... Nocciola?"

She looked over at me. "Yeah?"

I sighed. "... Do you remember when you first came to live with us?"

"I..." She stabbed at her eggs with her fork. "... I do, yeah. My mom, she'd given me one of his business cards, with his home address written on the back, when I was little. I'd just graduated 8th grade, and they didn't do high school, so... They just kicked me out onto the street, essentially."

"Yeah, some servants of god they are." I sighed again. "I... I asked what you were doing out by yourself on such a hot day, and you were like... 'oh you think this is hot? Try Louisiana!' And... I remember, you had this whole speech prepared on these little index cards."

"I was nervous, ok?" She laughed. "And I was pretty miffed that I wasn't able to use them, since I wrote them under the assumption that..." Her smile started to fade. "... That I'd be talking to him instead of you." She shoved a forkful of egg into her mouth.

I looked over at him, totally unaware of our conversation. "... I'm sorry, Hazel. For his... Issues."

"It's fine." Her shoulder leaned on mine. "You make up for it."

I take the last swig of my coffee. "Well, someone has to take care of you."

She gently nudged me. "Just take the compliment, knucklehead."

"Ok, ok. Thank you." I stood up and put the mug in the sink, checking the time. It was almost seven now. "So, we've got a little over half an hour before the bus gets here. You should probably get ready before you lose track of time, though."

"I will, but before I do... Are you seriously ok?"

I turned back to her. "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugged. "You... Haven't been eating much lately."

"Oh, really?" I tried to sound casual. "I haven't noticed."

"Nico-"

"Look, it's sweet that you care about me. But you don't need to worry, I'll be alright. Trust me."

She sighed. "... Ok. If you insist. Oh, by the way, I've talked to the counsellor, and I got moved to first lunch, so I'll be able to sit with Frank."

"Oh, that's great!"

"Yeah! But... That also means we won't be seeing each other in art class anymore." She slumped. "Sorry."

I put a hand on her back. "It's ok. We'll still see each other here."

She smiled up at me. "Yeah. Oh, shoot. I need to get dressed." She abruptly stood up and ran up the stairs while I tossed her dishes in the sink. After a commercial break and a few channels flipped, she came back down, in a floral dress this time, and hurried out the door, leaving me to walk to school on my own again.

-

While I was walking to my first class, I spotted Clarisse, smirking, disheveled, and splattered with just a little blood on her cheek. "Oh my god, what happened to you?"

She looked over at me, confused. "What?"

"... You..." I gestured to her cheek.

"Oh, that. I had just banged up Drew's car with a baseball bat in the parking lot... And then she came out to confront me, so I smacked her in the face."

My mouth gaped open. "You what!?"

"She was being a homophobic little bitch yesterday." She excused. "I had to do something."

"... Homophobic?"

"Oh, come on!" She shouted. "That little AIDS jab at the end of her spiel? You can't tell me that wasn't-"

"But I'm not gay!" I insisted.

She looked me up and down. "Uh huh. Sure."

"I... I-I'm not, I'm really not!" I stuttered out. "I love... Women... And... And kissing them."

"And again, I say, sure."

I clenched my jaw, my face heating up. "Fuck you. You don't know anything about my life."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Look, it doesn't matter if you're actually gay or not. The point is that everyone thinks you are. And she used that to attack you. That's homophobia, babe. So I did the right thing and busted her nice shiny car up in retaliation. And... Sure, I went a little overboard when I started aiming for her face, but still."

I sigh. "Clarisse... The teacher had already handled it, ok? You didn't have to beat her up."

She shrugged. "Whatever. I try to do something nice for you, and-"

"What made you think I'd want you to beat her up on my behalf?"

"What can I say? My love language is violence." She then turned around and started walking into the classroom, and I followed, taking my usual seat next to Percy. Looking over at him, he seemed... Surprisingly calm, compared to the last time I saw him. I'm glad he's found a way to deal with... Whatever that was.

And with that thought, I turned my attention to the movie Mr. Blofis had put on.

After English, toxicology, and a very lonely art class, it was time for lunch. Again, I gave Leo mine, and again, Percy packed a sandwich for me, and even a cookie. He's so sweet for doing this... For trying to take care of me. I haven't had anyone in my life taking care of me in a really long time.

I sighed, turning to him as I tried to think of something to say, so I could take my mind off of how sad that is. "So... Why blue, anyway?"

"Huh?"

"Like... Your cookies are always blue. Why?"

He shrugs, a nostalgic smile forming on his face. "... Family tradition. Besides," he continued, perking back up. "it's my favorite color!"

I look him over, in a blue tie-dye shirt, blue jeans, blue sneakers, blue watch and even a shark-tooth necklace with two blue glass beads on either side. "Yeah, that checks out."

He laughed a bit, and suddenly, Jason chimed in. "Dude, blue's my favorite too! Hold on, light blue or dark blue? I'm more on the light blue side."

Percy thought for a bit. "I dunno... I guess all of them?"

"Really?" Piper asked. "All of them? Even the kind that's like, light blue, but not turquoise? So it's just dark blue with a bunch of white added to it, so it looks like the world's shittiest shade of purple? Even that one?"

Percy laughs a bit. "Well jeez, I didn't think about every possible shade of blue in existence before I chose it, excuse me!"

"Well, I have." Piper replied.

"Well, you're weird."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, growing up in close proximity to the fashion industry will do that to you. And that's why, every time someone asks me my favorite color, I never know how to respond! Because if I answer with a general color category like a normal person, like pink, or green, or red, then there's ultimately gonna be some shades of that color that are ugly, and what if they think I mean one of those shades, and they judge me? But then, if I choose a specific shade, people might think that I'm picky and high maintenance!"

"News flash, Miss America," Percy interrupted. "they already do. So why do you care?"

She huffed. "I dunno. I just... Don't want to be the stereotypical spoiled little rich girl, y'know? I feel like I've always been expected to be a diva, just because my mom and sister and brother are, and that's not fair! I may not be perfect, but... I still like to think that I'm a good person."

I sighed, grimacing at the mention of her brother. His real name was Eros, but we all called him Cupid. There are quite a number of openly gay students at Goode High, but with the exception of Will Solace, the nurse's son, they never chose to be open. It was always him that did the choosing for them. I'm honestly terrified of him, he's so... Thorough. Like he makes a sport out of it. It's only a matter of time before he exposes me.

"... Anyway, well my favorite color is glitter!" Leo announced.

Annabeth looked over at him. "Glitter is a material, not a color."

He pouted. "Fine, what's yours?"

"Silver." She answered easily.

"Also a material, not a color." Leo argued. "So I guess we're both wrong."

"Ok, but silver has a very specific color to it." She insisted. "Glitter can be any color. So it doesn't actually answer the question. What color of glitter is your favorite?"

He shrugged. "Hmm... I guess red. But like, glow in the dark red! And holographic!"

Her brows creased. "That's... The most obnoxiously migraine-inducing answer to that question possible."

"Haha! Obnoxious and migraine inducing, just like me!"

Piper shrugs. "I actually think that would look pretty cool. Does that exist? Oh my god, it needs to exist!"

Leo bites his lip, winking at Piper. "So you like loud, obnoxious, in-your-face stuff, do you?"

She rolled her eyes. "In small doses, yes."

"Well, I can do small doses~"

"Leo!" I scold, speaking up for the first time in this conversation. "Behave yourself!"

Everyone seemed to turn to me, like they were surprised I could speak. Finally, Jason cleared his throat. "Um... Sorry, we just kinda... Forgot you were here. How about yours?" He asks. "Wait, no, let me guess: Black."

I sighed. "No, actually. I..." I looked up at Percy, at his beautiful sea-green eyes. Despite the nightmare I had last night, they still made my heart hiccup in my chest, and it was hard to tear my attention away from them. In fact, it was hard to tear my attention away from him, period. His deeply tanned skin, which looked like it would be warm to the touch even in the deepest winter, stretched taut over broad shoulders and muscular arms. His smile was lazy and lopsided, just like his hair, messy and curly and deep black. It looked so soft. It looked perfect. Everything about him was perfect. Especially those gorgeous eyes. "... I'd have to say green. Bluish green, especially." I shake my head and clear my throat. "Anyway, um... I need to go to the bathroom."

"Ooh, me too!" Leo shoots up from the bench and grabs my wrist, dragging me to the bathroom as I try and fail not to visibly wince.

Once we're inside, I start to rub the spot where he grabbed me, before looking up at him, who seemed confused, and I put both my hands down by my sides. "... What?"

"Uh... Nothing, nothing." He bites his lip again. "Anyway, I need to tell you about Piper."

As I look past him, I notice Jason peeking into the bathroom, looking over at us. "What about Piper?" He asked.

Leo turned to look at him, totally unfazed, before turning back to me. "Anyway, y'know how she bought me a phone?"

"Uh huh...?"

"Well... She put her number in it too!" He pulled the phone out to show me her name in his contacts. "I think she likes me~" He jabbed me in the ribs, like he sometimes did, seemingly unaware of how much it hurt, despite how many times I tell him.

"Ow!" I protested, turning to Jason. "... Why do you just let him do that?"

"Do what?"

"Uh, y'know, blatantly hit on your girlfriend? Like... Genuine, honest-to-god flirting, with your girlfriend? How are you ok with that?"

He shrugged. "Well, it's not like he actually has a chance..."

My mouth gaped open. "... Number one, that's cocky as shit, especially considering the kind of reputation he has. Number two, you're just gonna say that right in front of him? I don't expect you to know him the way I do, but how do you think it feels to hear something like that when you're already super insecure? And from a trusted friend, no less?"

"Au contraire, mon frère!" Leo interrupted. "Wow, that's the most French I've ever spoken. Let's keep it that way, shall we?" He asked to an imaginary audience. "Right, I'm not insecure ok? Insecure would imply unhappy, and I'm anything but!" He insisted, with the flourish of a showman. "Trust me, I am perfectly content with being the ugly friend. Someone's gotta do it, and I'm the best man for the job!"

"Leo-..." I sighed. I really hated when he talked like that about himself. But now wasn't really the time for a big lecture about self esteem. So I just let Jason handle it.

Which he did, and with impressive grace. Ha. Grace.

"Dude, it's not that you're ugly. It's just... She's got a certain type. Tall, smart, blonde, levelheaded. And you're only one of those things."

He looked up at him in confusion. "... You think I'm smart?"

He ruffled the smaller boy's hair. "Of course I do! I've seen you in engineering, you're way better than most students."

"Not better than Annabeth..."

"Leo, nobody's better than Annabeth, at anything." He seemed to reconsider. "... Except French. Good god, she's the worst at French."

"And I'm the worst at everything else!" He insisted. "It's fine, really. I don't mind being bad at everything."

Jason rolls his eyes. "Leo-"

"Jason, you don't have to say nice things about me to make me feel better. I know I generally suck at life, and I'm ok with that. I'm ok with being a loser!"

"You don't, and you're not. Not really. I can tell."

"You don't know anything about me!" He snapped, uncharacteristically angry. "... Nobody does, except Nico." He turned to me. "Go on, tell him he's overreacting. Tell him that I'm right, and that I'm fine, since he won't believe either from my mouth."

I don't know what to say. I know that he's not, and I've known that for a long time. But I still hesitate. After a bit of deliberation, I decide on my answer. "Let's just... Go back to the table and forget this conversation ever happened."

The two boys look at each other, Leo glaring at him, Jason chewing his lip in anxiety. The latter is the first to nod, but Leo turns back before he does, leaving both of us in the bathroom. "... What are you waiting for?" I ask.

He sighs, leaning against the doorframe. "... You worry about him, don't you?"

"I..." I sigh. "... I have to admit, yes."

"Why don't you say something?"

I shrug. "I... I'm scared." I admit.

"Of what?"

"I know that he wants everyone around him to think that he's ok, and... I'm afraid of scaring him off if I don't play along. And I'm already his closest friend, he trusts me. In ways that... He doesn't trust anyone else. If he pushes me away, he won't have anyone to trust like that."

He nods. "... What's your name again? Nico?"

I nodded.

"I like you, Nico. You're a sweet kid."

I raise my eyebrow. "Kid? Sweet? Dude, I'm a walking halloween decoration."

"I know you try to act all scary, but it's just that: An act." He insisted, putting a hand on my shoulder, which I jerked away from. He looked surprised, even concerned.

I chewed my lip. "Sorry, I... I just don't like strangers touching me." I sighed, feeling my face heat up, and I pushed past him, walking back to the table. The rest of the day was a blur of routine, and soon, I wound up walking to his place again. Suddenly, I remembered what she told me yesterday, and I pulled out my phone.

'Sorry, I'm going over to Percy's place again, helping him with homework. Hope you'll be ok by yourself.'

After a while, she replied. 'I'll be fine, I'm not a baby. Have fun lol'

I smiled down at the message. 'will do' I rushed out, before walking into the lobby and waiting for the elevator.

-

Percy's POV)

After helping me along with everything else, he asked the inevitable question: "So how's that blurb coming along?"

I sighed, deciding to answer honestly. "Terribly. I only just finished reading tots, and I still haven't written anything down. It's just... Such a slog to get through."

"Uh... Tots?"

I shrugged. "I figured it'd be faster than saying 'taming of the shrew' every single time."

He laughed, clear as a silver bell. "I like it. Like it's a fandom or something."

"Yeah... But I'm anything but a fan."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Why the hell are we expected to root for that asshole!? He's a terrible person. He only married Katherine so his friend could marry her sister, and then he turns around and treats her like garbage! Even worse is that he's intentionally trying to break her down! He's not the protagonist, he doesn't deserve that! And this doesn't deserve to be labelled a comedy! Why the fuck is it a comedy?"

He shrugged. "It ends in a wedding instead of a funeral, that's how you can tell."

"Well, sure, but that doesn't make all the shit that went down in it ok! And I'm expected to somehow find something in there that I relate to, and then write it down. I don't relate to him, I could never relate to him. I just... Maybe... Maybe I'm just not getting it. Wouldn't be the first time I didn't get something, I'm not the smartest cookie in the jar."

"Or maybe there's nothing to get." He suggested. "Maybe this play really is about a certified dickface brainwashing his wife. Maybe it really is a tragedy."

I sighed again. "Well, Shakespeare didn't seem to think so."

"Well... Maybe he was wrong."

"What?"

He stood up and walked a little closer to me. "You heard me. Maybe he thought Petruccio was a hero, a cunning, clever genius. Maybe he thought it was a happy ending. But maybe he was wrong. Maybe he didn't consider that, hundreds of years in the future, someone like you would read it and think 'wow, this guy's a dick!' So maybe he was wrong to label it a comedy, and he's just gotten away with it for so long because when people first acted it out, nobody questioned the category, or the tone, or the morality of the protagonist. Because at the time, this was considered fun, and light, and socially acceptable. They were wrong too. And now, because he's got such a great track record, because he's old and dead and famous, nobody ever questions him. But maybe... You don't fall into that crowd, and you're willing to call him out for the first time in hundreds of years. Think about it: If I could do a little necromancy and bring him back from the grave, just so you could call him out, and he could hear it, and understand what you meant, what would you want to say?"

I bit my lip, turning back to my computer, opening the word document back up, the words flowing through my fingers before I could stop to ask him to leave the room.

How dare you. How dare you make us sympathize with a monster like this? He's just barely charming enough to get past your defenses, and then BAM! He's the shittiest, cruelest, most repulsive sonofabitch to be around! He tortures this poor young woman all because she doesn't bend to his every whim, god forbid she gets pregnant by him because that child is gonna grow up with some serious issues, believe me. I feel so dirty for ever trying to put myself into his shoes, for ever trying to look at things from his point of view, for not seeing the red flags when I first started reading. Because I've had to deal with people like Petruccio before. My mother and I have had to deal with someone like him for twelve god damn years! They're like vampires, honestly. They put all this effort into luring you in, into looking so enticing, so charming, because they know that they can't come in without your permission. But once they've convinced you to do that, the mask drops, because they know they can suck you dry all they want, and there's nothing you can do about it. But of course, there is. There are wooden stakes and silver bullets. And at some point, you get sick of pretending that they're human, and you use them. You protect yourself and the people you love, because that's what love is, Billy. Love is so much deeper than a wedding and a happily ever after, it's deeper than two teenagers killing themselves over some ancient family feud. Love, true love, means protecting someone when they're in danger. Even when it means risking your own life. Even when it means making a decision you know nobody else will understand. And the fact that you've written this garbage means that you don't actually understand it. You never will. Because you're dead. So suck on that, g

My finger hovers over the A button.

I'm frozen in place. I can't move. I can barely think.

"... You're crying." Nico points out, startling me.

Suddenly, I feel my joints loosen back up, and I touch a hand to my face. "Shit, I am. Sorry, I-"

"Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong." He sat back on the bed. "I... I didn't read everything by the way. I looked away at 'I've had to deal with people like Petruccio before' in case it got personal."

I sighed. "... Thanks."

He shifted uncomfortably on the bed. "... Look, I don't want a repeat of yesterday, so I'm not gonna push you on it. But if you want, you can tell me."

I shook my head, standing up. "I just... I'm trying to move past it. And before you say anything, yes, I know it's ironic to say that after unleashing... That. But I probably won't send that in."

He scoots just a little closer. "Then what will you send in?"

I shrug. "Nothing. Just... Take the zero. I've done it before."

He sighed. "But you've already got something written down."

"It's too personal."

"Percy... It's meant to be personal." He seemed to realize something as he spoke to me, as if whatever he was saying to me, he was also saying to himself. "The whole point is for him to get to know his students, y'know? It's meant to... Be a way to connect with him. And I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I know what I'd do."

"What would you do?"

He bit his lip. "... I'd read over it, and... Try to tweak it a little, reword it until it's up to my standards. And then I'd send it." He stood up. "No matter how personal it got. No matter what he might think of me afterwards. I'd send it, before I got a zero. Before I missed my chance to say what I really felt." He then turned away from me and went towards the bedroom door.

"... Nico, wait." I stood up, reaching for his hand before my fingers curled away, second-guessing themselves.

He looked up at me, his eyes still wide and dark brown, almost black, like polished obsidian marbles. His lips were thin and pink and slightly parted, just enough to see his teeth glinting underneath. He was so... Perfect. Everything about him was perfect. "... What is it?" He asked innocently.

I sighed. "... Thank you. For... Helping me write this damn thing."

One of those rare smiles played at his lips, and he cleared his throat. "Right, well... I should be going. It's no trouble, by the way." He turned the knob and just like that, I was alone.

I laid on my bed, releasing a long, heavy sigh. I don't understand what's wrong with me, I'm straight! Or... So I thought. And even if I'm not... I have a girlfriend. One that I love, genuinely love, and genuinely find attractive. So I'm at least bi.

I shouldn't be feeling like this.

But I do.

And I hate it.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

I bite my lip, my foot tapping nervously against the yellow linoleum floor as I hovered over the printer, the hems of my too-long Cookie Monster pajama bottoms getting stuck under my right foot, my right hand holding a can of redbull and my left safely tucked into my hoodie pocket, suddenly second-guessing myself. I don't know why I let him talk me into this, I don't know why I still thought this was a good idea. It's not. And I know that it's not.

Then there's the simple fact that it's 4:00 AM on Friday morning, and I've stayed up all night working on this thing. Ok, I've mostly been playing video games, but in my defense, the process of writing this thing has been exhausting, both physically and emotionally, and the only reason I'm this awake is because I'm on my fourth can of redbull right now, so I clearly deserved time to decompress with a little Subnautica. Also, why am I so bundled up? I've got a T-shirt on under this hoodie, and I even have on my fuzzy slippers. Not that I'm complaining, they're super comfortable, but usually, I just wear boxers to bed, maybe a T-shirt if I'm really cold, and it's summer! I shouldn't have to dress like this in summer! But I've been down in the copy room enough times to know that it's always super cold for some reason, and I wanted to be prepared. I'm just glad we even have this communal copy room, it's super convenient, even if it hasn't been redecorated since the 70's. Probably why the rent is so damn high, though.

Actually no, the rent is so damn high for one reason and one reason only: Because our landlord is a dick. We've had that pair of pliers as a makeshift faucet handle in the bathroom for how many years now? Not to mention the garbage disposal doesn't work, and the sliding lock on the front door was broken ever since we moved in, like 4 years ago. I know it serves no literal function most of the time, but it still scares me that it doesn't latch.

I shouldn't even have to be down here, Mr. Blofis is pretty laid-back from what I can tell, I'm sure he wouldn't be too mad if I e-mailed the essay instead. But I don't know his e-mail address, and I feel like it's too late to ask. Of course, it's probably his first name, last name, year he was born, @ something-or-other.com, because he's old, and old people tend to have pretty boring email addresses. But I don't know the year he was born, or his first name, or the something-or-other, so that doesn't help at all!

Oh, one more thing, before I get distracted, it's Friday. Meaning tomorrow is Saturday, and on Saturday, which, might I reiterate, is tomorrow, my mother and I are supposed to go to Olive Garden to meet a man that neither one of us have met in person, but who is supposedly meant to be her boyfriend and my future stepfather. And of course I have some hangups about the prospect of this random man inserting himself into my life, anyone would, and my hangups are especially justified. But then I feel so guilty for that because she says he makes her happy, and if anyone in this world deserves a happy ending, it's her. And I know she'd understand, I know she already does, because my mind is a broken record, and I can't get the thought out of my mind: Something bad is going to happen to us, and it's going to be his fault.

Plus, there's just the regular anxieties you have with any kind of formal event. Like, for example, what am I supposed to wear? The nicest thing I own is this black and blue Hawaiian shirt, and the only reason it's nice is because it's got a collar. It used to be huge on me when I first bought it, because I was ten and looked like a human stick bug (note to self, don't think about how sad that is), but now I can barely button it across my upper chest because I'm all buff now, yay me. My only other option is just a regular T-shirt, which I'd have to wear underneath anyway, because I'm not wearing anything that tight in public, and I don't wanna let my chest hang out in a nice place like that! Normally, I'd just wear my Sunday best, but I don't have a Sunday best, neither one of us do. Because A: We don't go to church anymore, and B: We're broke as a joke. And for some reason, we're going to Olive Fucking Garden! All I can do is hope and pray that he's gonna pay for it. Please mystery man, who I've never met before and who may or may not be a total asshole, please pay our bill instead of going dutch. My mom works at a candy store and I'm a waiter at Hog Heaven on the weekends, we can't afford to split the bill at a place like this. I'm sorry, but we can't.

Oh god, Hog Heaven! I completely forgot about that! Who's gonna cover my shift? Clarisse and I are the only two servers there, and I'm terrified of her. How am I gonna ask her to cover for me? What happens if she says no? What will she do to me? What will my boss do to me? Am I gonna get fired? I've been working for them for 3 years, and I've never missed a day, but he's really temperamental, and we've gotten into some serious shouting matches on more than one occasion, so it's not impossible. Maybe I should quit. I definitely should. I have to, I need to. I can't let him treat me like shit anymore. But she works the weekdays already, she'd kill me if I left her with the weekend shift too. Literally kill me. Hell, she'd kill me over a snickers.

Did my eye just twitch?

I look down at the can of redbull in my hand, which was shaking wildly. Yeah... I've had too much caffeine. Why do I let myself have caffeine? I know what it does to me, but I still keep a six pack of redbull under my bed at all times, for some goddamn reason.

Ugh.

My head is pounding.

I sighed, dropping the half-empty can into the trash, and knelt to pick up my papers, slipping them into a folder. Once I had it gathered in my arms, I walked out of the copy room and into the lobby, the harsh white of the fluorescent lights sending sharp pangs of additional pain into my head, like white-hot needles being jabbed through my eyes and into my brain. And again I ask myself, why do I let myself have caffeine?

I stop and set the essay back on the ground before drinking out of a water fountain. It's not the most sanitary thing in the world, I know, but it's helping dull the pain. Guess I was dehydrated too, on top of all the caffeine.

Once I had my fill, I bent down to pick up my essay and went over to the elevator. Once I pressed the button, it took very little time to come down for me, thankfully, because I felt like if I had to wait one more second, I'd combust. I pressed the button for our floor before I sat down on the ground, letting out a heavy sigh. My head still hurt, I was exhausted, and I could really use a snack right now... Not sure what kind, though. Maybe like, a churro.

Oh man, I know it's late, and the street vendors are all sleeping, but if I could have anything in the world right now, it would be one of those churros that one lady makes, what's her name? I think it's... Vera? Or Valentina? This sweet older hispanic woman, she set up shop like right around the corner, and she always makes the best fucking churros. I love them so much, am I drooling right now? I touch my fingers to the corner of my mouth. Oh god, I am. Well, this would be embarrassing if I weren't alone, but I am, so it's just nostalgic. Turns out I don't just drool in my sleep, I also drool while thinking about churros. Her churros, specifically, the ones from Taco Bell can suck my dick. Actually, I don't think they're called churros, they're just called cinnamon twists. But obviously, they're meant to be churros, or churro stand-ins. But nothing could ever replace the churro lady. I wish I could get them like every day, but yet again, we're broke. I mean, not as broke as we used to be, but still pretty broke. Maybe I'll get one later in the morning, though, as a reward for being such a brave little boy.

Actually, I haven't seen her cart in a while. Is she ok? I kinda wanna check on her, but how would I do that? I don't even know the poor woman's name! And now I feel bad for not knowing her name, because she knows mine, and come to think of it, she feels weirdly close to me, as if I knew her from somewhere other than her churro stand. She's always been so nice to me every time I stopped by, she even went through the trouble of making an extra long churro for Annabeth and I to share on our first date, since I could only afford one, which we ended up trying to eat from opposite ends and then kiss like in Lady and the Tramp. It almost worked, but she ended up biting my tongue by accident and we had to stop.

Well, ok. That technically wasn't our first date, that was just the first date we were on where we both knew it was a date. Our actual first date, in my opinion, was when Luke and Thalia snuck us into the theater to see The Shape of Water. I never told my mom that I saw an R-rated movie at 13, with my now-girlfriend, or that that was the actual first time I spoke, since... The incident. To this day, she still believes my first words after almost a year of silence were 'Morning, mom' and not 'I love you'. For all she knew, it was a totally uneventful trip to see whatever hot new kids movie was out back then. For all she knew, all four of us paid.

He used to not be so bad, y'know. He used to be nice, he used to be cool. I used to look up to him, idolize him even, and then... He got addicted to drugs. Of course, I didn't know that at the time. All I knew was that, the next month or so, he started turning selfish, and mean, and reminded me a little too much of...

I kept my distance the first time around, but she gave him a second chance, and a third, and a fourth, and a fifth, and so on. He'd get better, then he'd get worse, then better again, and then even worse than before. It's like he was two different people in one body. Only last year, when he relapsed and nearly killed someone, did she do the right thing and cut him out of her life. Even then, she feels guilty about it, and even says she doesn't blame him. I can almost see her point if I squint, I mean, the guy did out his boyfriend. Ethan's mom was already abusive, she gouged one of his eyes out for gods' sake. But as much of an asshole as Cupid is, he didn't deserve to fear for his life. And it wasn't even the only messed up thing he did, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

We used to butt heads about that, a lot. I think we're stronger as a couple for having gone through those hardships, but for a while, I was scared that he'd be the reason we broke up. I tried to be understanding with her, after all, it made sense that she'd hope for his redemption. When she was a defenseless little girl, he picked her up off the streets and took care of her, to the best of his ability anyway, and often at his own expense. He was only 13 when he became a surrogate father to her. But that understanding never went the other way.

Then again, and how could it? I never told her what happened to me, why I couldn't speak for almost a year, why my mom and I were in that shelter when we first met. How could I even begin to explain the kind of fear I'd developed, pulsating and writhing and squirming in the back of my mind, ready to lash out at the most unexpected of times, without telling her what planted it there? And I couldn't tell her. It would be too painful to recount the things that have happened to me, the things I've seen happen to my mother, that I've heard from the other room. No, I'd rather just leave it all behind, the best I can. And what I couldn't leave behind, I would hide from her, from everyone. Only my mom can know how I'm really doing, everyone else gets a 'fine, you?' if they're my friend, a 'none of your business' if they're not. How I'm gonna keep that up into my adult life, even as we inevitably grow apart, even when she inevitably dies, I have no idea. I just hope that one day, a switch inside of me will be flipped, and all of the horrifying shit that's happened to us will be a distant memory. That way, I can settle down and marry Annabeth, and we can live together in the present, without having to worry about the past intruding on our future.

I looked up to see the elevator doors open, and started walking the halls to get to our apartment, now totally dark, a relief for my eyes and my head, but still light enough to make my way to the fridge and pull out a hot dog to eat cold and naked. As I was chowing down, I noticed something written on the magnetized chalkboard on the fridge. A to-do list, and one of the items on that list was 'call Victoria from women's support group'.

Victoria! That's her name, Victoria! Wait, are they the same Victoria? I... Yeah, I think they are. Why didn't I remember that? Why didn't I connect 'mom's friend from her support group' and 'the churro lady'? That's really weird. It also just makes me sad, because what in the hell has this sweet old lady been through that she'd need to be in a support group? I mean, I don't quite remember if it's just a general women's support group, or one more specific to... What she's been through. Either way... Poor, poor Victoria.

In any case, I'm glad my mom's gonna check on her soon. My mom is the best, she really is, I think to myself, popping the very last stump of hot dog into my mouth. I'm so lucky to be her son.

I also took a bottle of blue gatorade and went to the bathroom for some aspirin, because my head is killing me. Wait, are aspirin and caffeine safe to take together? I pulled out my phone to check. Isn't that how some famous celebrity died? Like, they used some kind of drug and then drank a coffee, and their body produced so much adrenaline they went into shock and died? Or maybe it was the blood pressure that got them. Yeah, like maybe they had a heart attack. Who was it? Was it... Kim Kardashian? No, she's still alive. Tupac? No, he got shot. Michael Jackson? I also think he's still alive... No. It was Marylin Monroe, wasn't it?

That's what I ended up typing into the search bar: 'Marylin Monroe Death Caffeine Heart Attack?'

Nope. Barbiturates.

What are barbiturates? Those sound like a plastic surgery procedure. Well, I've got the phone here, may as well look it up. 'What are barbiturates?'

Ok... 'any of a class of drugs derived from barbituric acid, used as a central nervous system depressant.'

Depressant? Ok, but who would want to be depressed?

'what does 'central nervous system depressant' mean?'

Ok so quite a lot of the replies are talking about neurotransmitters, not very helpful since I don't know what that is, oh here we go! 'Depressants make you feel calm and relaxed, which is why they're called downers, in contrast to uppers, like ecstasy and cocaine, which give the user a rush of energy and euphoria'

I sighed, putting the phone down and looking at myself in the mirror. Wow, I learned a lot about drugs tonight. I never knew much about drugs, other than that they scare me. The way alcohol scares me, the way cigarettes scare me, the way my own anger sometimes scares me. Even though it's usually in defense of someone else, it still scares me, the sheer magnitude of it, the power I feel when I'm staring down at Octavian, and I can tell he's scared of me.

What if I'm ultimately just like... Him? Just as violent, selfish, and repulsive, deep down? What if I've lived with his poison clouding the air for so long that it's infected me too? What if, underneath all the scars, and all the damage, and all the pain, is someone who deserves it?

No. Shut up. You're letting him win.

But what other option is there? Just to assume that I can do no wrong and don't have the capacity to hurt people? Because I do, I know I do. We all do.

But you never would, not like that. Because you know how it feels, and you could never bring yourself to do it to other people.

Oh, so you're saying that my trauma makes me special and better than everyone else? Conceited, much? If anything, it makes you worse. It makes you more likely to lash out. They call it the cycle of abuse for a reason, after all. Hey, maybe he was abused as a kid too, and that's why he turned out the way he did. Does that thought disturb you? Make you uncomfortable? Take a second to think about why. If he was just as wounded as you are, then that means one day, you'll be just as big of an asshole as he was.

That's not true!

Yes it is, jackass. Have you ever thought to ask yourself why you'll never be able to drink, why you can't stomach the thought? Why your instinct is to run away from Annabeth whenever you two are in a spat? Because deep down, you know you won't be able to control yourself, and you are going to hurt her. You're gonna hurt her, the second best thing that ever happened to you, the first being your mom. What if you hurt your mom? Oh yeah, that's gonna be a real kick in the nuts for her if it ever happens, her very own son, making her relive what were, without a doubt, the worst 12 years of her life. She killed a man for you, y'know, when you were a little boy. But you're not a little boy anymore, you're a man. A big, strong, scary man that's doomed to hurt all the women around him. Doomed to be a monster.

I didn't even realize I'd been hyperventilating before I took a deep breath and started gripping the sink.

Remember, none of this has happened yet, and it doesn't have to either. Sure, there's a general trend of victims becoming perpetrators, but I am more than a product of my environment, I'm more than a helpless little domino in one long chain of cause and effect. I am a human being. "... Why do I let myself have caffeine?" I mutter to myself in the mirror.

It's times like this where I wish I was a girl. Not in a genuinely trans way, but just... So I wouldn't have to deal with this. And then I feel guilty for having those thoughts, because it's objectively harder for women out there, and I know that. I know that, had I been born a girl, I would've become infinitely more scared of the outside world growing up.

But... At least I wouldn't be scared of myself.

And I know that women can hurt people too. I've heard enough about Ethan's mom, hell, even about Jason's mom, and step-mom for that matter, to know that. They were both so horrible in such extremely different ways, it's kind of mind-blowing. I don't have anything to say to that. I'm terrible for thinking women are always docile little victims, and I know that I'm terrible, and I know that doesn't make me any less terrible.

I took a pill into my mouth, chugged the bottle of gatorade, and slipped my phone into my hoodie pocket before going to my bedroom and putting my essay in my backpack. Although... My head still really hurts, and I've gotten zero sleep.

I pulled my phone back out of my pocket and started typing out a text to my mother. 'can't do school, head too hurty :c'

I copied it before sending it to her, before sending the same text to Annabeth, and then to Nico. I wanted to give him a little heads up so he wouldn't be stranded at lunch tomorrow, since I usually pack something for him. Yeah, that's the only reason.

-

Nico's POV)

As soon as I got home, I went up to my room and grabbed my pencil, tearing out a page in my notebook as I scrawled out my title. All I was thinking about was the words appearing on the page so easily before my very eyes.

Catholicism in Romeo and Juliet

Most people would agree that referring to oneself in the first person, in an essay, is unprofessional and distasteful. However, this isn't supposed to be a formal essay, more of a journal entry, so with that said, I won't be following that rule.

Now, a fun fact about me is that, as a kid, I loved Romeo and Juliet. Ever since I was little, I've always loved to read books that were well above my grade level, and this was my favorite one. I'm not entirely sure why, but I'm lucky that this was the play I pulled out, because I have a genuine connection to the material that goes beyond just liking it. It was a formative part of my childhood, in a way that most people can't really relate to. For this reason, among others, I was always labelled creepy and weird by other kids, which only made me more isolated, and turn more and more to books for comfort, even and especially this one.

Another thing that I turned to for comfort, though, was the Catholic Church. I don't believe in it anymore, but it's been a part of my life for so long that there will always be things that, no matter how harmful, I still find hard to sever myself from. Most important to this discussion is their stance on suicide. In case you didn't know, Catholics believe, by and large, that suicide is the gravest, most unforgivable sin possible, and that you would go to hell, not purgatory, but hell, where there wasn't even any possibility for redemption, if you committed it. Romeo and Juliet are also both catholic, evidenced by the setting being medieval Italy, where you were either catholic or had a death wish, and undoubtedly had this very same lesson drilled into their heads as children. For them, I assume, it was just an indisputable fact of reality. Water is wet, fire is hot, and you'll go to hell if you kill yourself.

And yet, in the climax of the play, that's exactly what they do. They're so desperately, hopelessly in love, that they would rather kill themselves and go to hell than spend a life apart from each other, which I think is very romantic and poetic, and that aspect doesn't get talked about enough in my opinion. Although, maybe part of the reason my brain has latched onto that particular detail is because any romance involving me will inevitably be a forbidden one, just like theirs, condemned by God himself. Another fun fact about me is that I'm

My pencil froze in place.

Come on, you coward. It's three little letters, why are you so scared of writing them down? You're not supposed to feel this way anymore, you have no good reason to. There's no reason to feel the shame bubbling up inside of you while you stare at the blank spot on the page where those three little letters are meant to be.

But I do. I feel ashamed. I don't know why, but something inside of me keeps telling me that I have to keep myself hidden, shrink back from the light. I feel afraid, too. I don't know how Mr. Blofis is gonna react, I don't know if he'll be ok with it. Even if he is, will he really be able to keep his mouth shut? There's so many things that could go wrong, I don't want to risk it. And I feel alone. I don't have any friends like this, and even if I did, they wouldn't understand me. They'd be just as bad, thinking that because of how I was raised, that dictates how I'll behave. They'd think that I hate them, that I'd hurt them, and who could blame them? Maybe I would, without meaning to. Maybe I wouldn't even know what I did wrong before they kicked me to the curb. And again, who could blame them? How do you know when someone means to hurt you versus when they don't? Do you just assume that everyone's out to get you, or do you assume that nobody means anything by it, and let yourself be wounded and humiliated whenever you're proven wrong? What do you really lose when you lose your faith in people? Nothing. But the people that want to hurt you lose any opportunity to, because in order for you to hurt someone, they have to let you.

So why do I let myself be hurt? Why did I do this to myself, why do I keep doing this to myself, every single day? It's my own fault that I feel like this. My own fault that I have to close my eyes as I write the word out. But I do.

gay.

I sighed, continuing on with my work.

So as I read it, over and over, as I watched these two people fall in love and be torn apart through circumstances far beyond their control, watch them struggle to be together every chance they could, to be told, over and over again, that their union is an affront to all that is moral and decent, and to ultimately decide that eternal damnation is worth it if it means they can stay together... It was bittersweet, but ultimately, I thought they won. The threat of hell that had been looming over them, over me, was robbed of its power. They went there willingly, at least in their minds. And I couldn't help but be happy for them, even though they were dead. Because at least now, nobody can tell them who they can and can't love.

I sighed, deciding to go over it with pen and erase the pencil underneath so he wouldn't have to deal with all the smudged graphite clouding up the page.

Sometimes I really hate being left-handed.

As I was in the middle of this riveting task, my phone pinged on my desk. Ah, what the hell, I have time.

It was from Percy.

'can't do school, head too hurty :c'

I softly groaned in sympathy, and was about to type out something totally different when I noticed the time. My mouth hung open, and my thumbs went to type out 'PERCEVAL JACKSON, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AWAKE AT 4:30 IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!?'

He replied, rather quickly, '1: not my name, and 2: y r u neeks?"

I rolled my eyes. 'I thought your name was Percy?'

'Yea, Percy, not Perceval. What do I look like? A British naval officer from 1902?'

'That's oddly specific, and for you, oddly competently written. So, on your birth certificate, it just says 'Percy'? Like it's not short for anything...?'

'Perseus'

I paused, blinking in surprise before typing out 'Like the hero, from greek mythology?'

'ye'

I bit my lip, unsure of how to react. The annoying, dorky little kid I used to be would've messaged 'THAT'S SO FREAKIN COOL!!!!1!11!', squealing and bouncing in my seat, smiling so wide for so long that it made my cheeks hurt. But... I'm not that kid anymore. And it's good that I'm not, it's good that I don't freak out over imaginary people the way I did when I was eleven. It just sucks what it took to make that happen. How far the universe had to go to force me to mature.

I looked over at the figurine on my desk and let out a heavy sigh. Push it down, push it down, just cram all those ugly feelings deep inside of you, who cares what gets broken along the way? Just take all your emotions and shove them in and then crush them down inside of your body, like Wall-E.

I shook my head and turned my attention back to my phone, deciding on 'so at least one of your parents was a huge nerd huh'

Seeing as he didn't respond in the first few seconds, I turned back to trace a little more on my paper. I was almost done, actually, before my phone pinged again. 'Both, actually. That's how they met, from the way my mom tells it. Never met him, though, so I can't say either way'

I chewed my lip. 'Wow, I'm sorry. That must really suck.' I then went back to tracing the letters, and actually managed to finish before he messaged again.

'not rlly. I don't wanna meet him tbh, bc what if hes an asshole?'

I flopped down belly-first onto the bed. 'That doesn't have to mean anything for you. It can just mean you met an asshole.'

'but that asshole is my dad. I'll find out that I have his asshole juice inside of me, and always will.'

I laughed a bit. 'Asshole juice sounds like an even more vulgar alternative to diarrhea.'

'lol' He responded. 'no but srsly, this way I can imagine him the way my mom tells me he is, and to hear her tell it, he was perfect for her'

I crack a smile. 'That's really sweet... So, Perseus, huh?'

'uh huh'

'Any middle names, perchance?'

'nah'

'Well then, let me start this conversation over. PERSEUS JACKSON, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU AWAKE AT 4:30 IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!? Actually no, it's closer to 5 now. WTF'

'well, y r u?'

I sighed. 'I've been writing my essay. What's your excuse?'

'saaaaameeeee'

'One 'a' and 'e', respectively, would've sufficed.'

'also playing subnautica'

My brows furrowed in confusion. 'What's Subnautica?'

'dude u gotta play it, you basically go around in a submarine in an alien world that's completely flooded so its all 1 big ocean wrapping around the planet'

I had to admit, I was intrigued. 'I have always wondered what would happen if life never stepped out of the ocean. Would we have civilization still? How would our technology change? What kinds of religions would we invent if we never went on land?'

'oh this isnt about any of that'

I slumped in disappointment. 'Well, what's the fun then?'

'big ole fucktup creachers'

'And there it is again.'

'wut'

'You, typing like a caveman that just got thawed out 5 minutes ago.'

'meanie >:c head fuckin hurty remember? u got no right 2 b mean 2 me'

'Sorry.' I sent, before following it up with 'Why are you texting me though? You got a headache, shouldn't you be laying down?'

'I am laying down'

'With your eyes closed, dipshit.'

'I took aspirin what more do u want from me?'

'To go to sleep, or at least turn off your phone. All that light is probably making it worse.'

'its on dark mode fyi'

'I don't care. It's still giving off a bunch of unnatural light, which is bad for your eyes anyway. Go. To. Bed.'

'fiiiiineeeeee' he sent. 'but u gotta promise me u will 2 k?'

I rolled my eyes. 'Once again, one 'i' and one 'e' would've done the trick.'

'ur no fun :c do u promise or nah?'

I sighed. 'OK, I'm going to bed.' I lied. 'You need to do the same. Good night.'

'nite-nite neeks' I read, before shutting off my phone. I was exhausted, honestly. I wanted to go to bed. But it was so late it was early, and I knew I'd sleep all day if I went to bed now. So I had to keep myself awake somehow...

Ultimately, I decided to go downstairs for a while, sitting on the floor, leaning my head against the armrest of the couch as I watched my dad flip through the channels on TV. Ever since this morning, I've been scared for him.

It's not just the alcohol. No, that would be too simple.

The best I've ever been was 'happy, most of the time'. And the best he's ever been was 'ok, most of the time.' Even then, note 'most of the time'. Because there would always be a few days a month where he'd just be unable to do anything but sit in bed, eat ice cream straight out of the tub, and watch Columbo. And as a kid... I'm a bit ashamed to say... I used to look forward to those days, which I realize now were his lowest, darkest moments. Because it meant that I could just grab a spoon and cuddle with him all day, and I wouldn't have to do my homework, or go to church, sometimes I could even skip school altogether. I didn't feel welcome in those places, I never did. I still don't. And he was always so busy at work, probably making up for those days he lost to his depression. Ironic, isn't it?

But those times were the closest I ever felt to my father. We didn't have much in common, even before he became this empty husk, but we both shared this... Understanding, that the outside world is exhausting, and some days, you just can't do it, and that's ok. I wish we could still bond like that. But now he's traded out Pistachio for Pinot Noir, and I've got a little sister to take care of.

It's funny... I used to be the one who needed taking care of, the baby brother with a sister for a mother. If she could see me now... Would she be proud of me? I can only hope so. All I know for sure is, she'd definitely be saying 'now you understand what I had to go through'.

I look over at my dad. I've lost so much of him already, I don't want to lose him completely. And if I'm unable to stop him, I want to at least get closer to him beforehand. Who knows what he has planned? Who knows how much time I have left? He could get up any moment now, and go to the bathroom, and never come back out. I can't say I'd blame him if he did, if I were in his shoes, I would've a long time ago. I would've thrown myself on top of her grave and let them bury me alive.

But I'd be leaving a 12 year old boy, my own son, without a father, right after he's lost his sister. And if I were in his shoes, I'd look behind me, right as I was about to jump, and I'd see that sad little 12 year old boy, look right into his big, pleading eyes, and I'd think... I can't.

And I'd turn around, and walk back to him, and I'd give him the tightest hug I could muster, and... I'd tell him that everything was gonna be ok.

From then on, if I were in his shoes, I'd keep myself alive, because I know his heart couldn't take it if I left too. I'd try to bury it down and plaster on a smile and act like everything was ok, for his sake, just like I do now for hers. And I'd do my best to shield him from my demons, make sure they never became his own. I'd never let him see me cry or hear me scream, and any habits I developed, any vices I fell prey to, which I inevitably would, because how else do you make it stop hurting...? I'd keep them safely hidden, to make sure he never knew how torn up I am inside, because I wouldn't want my son to be scared of losing me. I'd make sure to tell him, every chance I got, that I loved him, and that I'm always gonna be here for him, and if he was ever in any kind of trouble, if he ever needed advice, or even just a shoulder to cry on, that he can come to me.

"... How long have you been here?" He slurred out, like he just noticed me sitting right next to him.

All of a sudden, reality came crashing down on me. I'm never gonna have the kind of father I would be to myself. The one I have barely remembers I exist, and soon enough, even he could be gone.

Before I can stop myself, I start to cry. Loud, ugly sobbing, the kind I have to bury my face in his jacket for, to stop my tears from dropping down onto my neck, the kind where I can barely catch my breath. The kind I heard from him last Sunday night, the first time I had cut that month.

"... Hello?" He shook my shoulder. "Buddy, uh... Did you hear me?"

I shook my head.

He could barely look at me. "... What's got you turnin' on the water works?"

I looked up at him, and tried to tame my breaths just enough that I could speak. "Dad... Are you ok?"

He blinked in surprise. "Uh... I mean, yeah. Why?"

I started chewing the inside of my lip. "... I'm scared." I admit. "I... I don't wanna lose you, daddy. Don't make me lose you." I begged.

"Uhh... Ok? I... I'm not gonna."

I let out a shuddering sigh of relief and shakily stood, silent tears still streaming down my face as I desperately scrubbed them away.

When I looked back down at him, he seemed... Guilty. He took the last swig of wine from his bottle, looked back up at me, and sighed, lifting his blanket off of himself. "... You wanna lay with me?"

I could feel my lower lip start to tremble again, and held it in place with my teeth, nodding silently before I slipped on top of his body, now a bit larger and better cushioned from staying on the couch all day, certainly more than mine. He pulled the blanket back over the two of us, and I felt like a little kid again, snuggling up next to him in bed all those years ago. I thought I'd lost that version of my father years ago, but as a few more tears roll down my cheeks, now sideways and into his shirt, I dare to hope that I'm starting to get him back.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

I opened my eyes to see Hazel standing over me, shaking me awake. I don't even remember falling asleep. "What the... Hazel, you're up! Holy shit, I'm so sorry I didn't wake you up in time." I lifted myself up from the couch, ignoring the tug at my heart when I separated from my father. "Actually, what time is it?"

"7:25, and don't worry. Frank actually called to wake me up instead."

"Oh, that was sweet of him." I walked over to the kitchen and pulled out a mug before turning back to her. "You had breakfast, right?"

She nodded. "I just ate some poptarts."

"Good, now get out onto the bus before you miss it!" I nagged, turning the hot tap on and filling my cup. "I love you, by the way."

She turned to face me for a second, leaving the door open. "I love you too! Bye!"

I cracked a little smile as she closed the door behind her. "Bye." I muttered, my water still unflavored. I sighed, the smile slipping off my face just as easily as it formed, and tore open the coffee powder and dumped it in, stirring it with a spoon and chugging it as fast as I could before I bolted out the door and walked to school.

-

As I walked to English, I heard a wicked laugh come up from behind me, and a rough hand yanking my collar back. "Oh hey there, Nico Freak-o." I looked back to find the tall, tan, pink-haired jock who called himself Cupid. "What'cha got there?"

"Uh... Homework." I answered. "Now leave me alone!"

"Homework, huh...? Mind if I read over it real quick, then? I could use a cheat sheet."

"Hey, no!" I held it close to my chest. "No way in hell am I letting you-"

He grabbed the binder out of my arms, holding it over my head, just out of reach, a shit-eating grin plastered onto his face as I became more and more frustrated. "C'mon, loser. Sprout some legs already!" He chuckled. "Or... Do you like this?" He asked, realization dripping from his voice. He stepped closer, making my back slam against the wall. "Oh, you like it when a bigger, stronger guy has power over you, don't you? Oh, this better not be turning you on, you little f-" Just then, his expression changed to one of shock and pain, and he dropped down to his knees, clutching his crotch as he tried desperately to keep his composure. Behind him was Clarisse, her arms crossed on her chest as she smirked down at him triumphantly, her lip split and trickling blood. To most, she was a demon, but to me? She was my guardian angel.

She silently snatched my binder up from the floor and handed it out to me, and I shot her a grateful look as we walked into class together.

"Hold it right there, missy!" Mr. Blofis scolded. "What in the H-E-double hockey sticks is that?" He asked, pointing to her injury. "You're going to the nurse's office."

"But-"

"Pronto, La Rue. No ifs, ands, or buts about it." He insisted, pressing the hall pass into her hand.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever old man."

I let out a sigh of relief as I sat at my desk, hoping that this would mean the truth would get out, until I remembered my own visit to the nurse's office, how easily and flagrantly I lied.... And I knew she'd do the same.

He went around to collect our papers, and although I froze up for a moment, I still handed it to him, realizing the gravity of what I was confessing. Looking over at Percy's empty desk, I wondered if I pushed him too hard. Maybe he was lying about the headache, and he just didn't want to turn his assignment in. I couldn't say I'd blame him.

Things were mostly okay for the rest of the day, though that run-in with Cupid really shook me up. Not only that, I started to get nauseous again, right around art class. But that was pretty normal for me, I'll admit. Maybe I should've brought some cash with me, to get myself a granola bar or something.

-

Percy's POV)

When I woke up, I looked over to find a few things: It was 11:20, my headache was gone, and I had gotten a couple of texts from my mom.

'Poor baby 3'

'Need me to get you anything?'

'Oh, you're probably asleep. Sorry!'

'Text me if you need anything bb'

'I'm coming over to check on you when my lunch hour rolls around, ok?'

Just as I read that last one, I heard a gentle knock at my door. "... Percy, baby? Are you alright?"

I looked up. "Yeah, I'm ok. It's gone now."

"Good. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

She opened the door, light shining behind her and turning her into a silhouette. "You got my texts, right?"

"Yeah. Did you have lunch yet?"

She sighed. "Well... No. Did you?"

"I just woke up, so no... You wanna go to McDonalds? I'll pay."

"Baby, you don't have to-"

"I was the one that suggested we go." I pointed out. "Besides, I'm a grown man, I can do this one thing."

"Mhhh.... Ok, fine." She relented. "If you insist."

"Yay!" I practically jumped out of bed, leaning down to access my sock drawer, and pulled out a 20 dollar bill before standing back up and trying to get out of the door.

She, however, blocked the door, a playful smirk on her face. "Um, mister? Are you sure you wanna go to school in your pajamas?"

I let out a sheepish laugh. "Right. Close the door for a minute, would'ja?"

"Of course." She did as I asked, leaving me to change into yet another t'shirt and pair of jeans, along with my trusty blue sneakers.

Once I was changed, I opened the door, money in hand. "Ta-dah!"

She laughed and gestured for me to hurry up, and soon enough, I was beside her in the car. Her finger was tapping along to 'Brandy, you're a fine girl', which she had on her personal mixtape, along with a lot of jimmy buffet, some ABBA, and a surprising amount of third eye blind. Well, not surprising to me, I've listened to this mixtape over and over for years. But most people, when they first meet my mother, are surprised to find that she's a fan of third eye blind. That's the great thing about us, we already know everything there is to know about each other.

Well... Guess there's one thing she doesn't know about me. But I'll tell her soon.

"... Are you alright, sweetie? You're being awfully quiet."

"Yeah. Just... Lost in thought, I guess." I answered as we pulled up to the McDonald's drive through. "Ok, let's see..." I started, peering over the menu.

After a little deliberation, I ordered a chicken sandwich and a Diet Coke, and she ordered a quarter pounder and a sprite.

"Oh, and a happy meal." I tacked on, causing her to look over at me in concern. I shrugged. "It's for a friend."

She nodded, and once we paid and got our food, we drove off to school.

"Hey, mom?" I started, fully intending to come out, but I chickened out at the last minute. "I, um... Did you call Victoria yet?"

"Um, yeah. Turns out, she's just been pretty busy moving in with her girlfriend. She also just bought an actual storefront, so... Big changes all around! I'll have to ask her where she's setting up shop, because those churros are to die for."

I laughed. "Ditto. Well, good for her!"

"Yeah. Good for her... Well, we're here." The car slowed to a stop. "Have a nice rest of your day!"

"You too, mom. Love you!" I stepped out of the car and started heading for the door.

"Love you too, sweetie!" She called out, before driving away.

As soon as I walked through the door, Annabeth ran up to greet me. "Percy, you're here!"

"Yeah, yeah, the prodigal boyfriend returneth." I sat down and pecked her on the cheek. "Oh! And I got Neeks a little treat~" I smirked, the happy meal dangling precariously on my finger.

"A happy meal? Really?" He asked, cocking a brow. "I'm not five."

I shrugged. "Well, you're such a sourpuss all the time, I've gotta find some way to make you smile~"

He rolled his eyes, but accepted my gift and dug in. "You don't have to baby me, y'know."

"I'm not babying you, I'm just doing you a favor."

"Whatever... Thanks, I guess."

"You guess?" I pouted. "Ok, mr. grumpy pants."

-

After school, I made sure to catch Mr. Blofis before he got in his car. "Wait up!"

He turned to face me. "Yes?"

"I, uh..." I sighed, handing my essay to him. "... I know it's late, but-"

"Hey, it's ok." He took it. "Y'know, I could've given you extra time if you asked."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well... Too late for that now, huh?"

He smiled at me. "I guess you know for next time, at least." He opened the car door. "Take care."

"I will, see you Monday." I waved goodbye and went back to the bus stop, just in time to get on my own bus before it took off.

Apparently, Clarisse had the same one, and I was suddenly reminded of my job again. I sighed, knowing this could very well end in disaster, and going for it anyway. I noticed that her lower lip had a bandage on it, which was pretty strange. She doesn't usually get her wounds dressed, maybe it was just especially bad.

In any case, I approached her. "... Hey, so... I don't usually do this, but like... I can't go to work tomorrow, I have somewhere I need to be. So..." I shrugged.

She glared up at me. "Are you joking?"

"Dead serious. I need you to cover my shift."

She huffed. "... Fine. But you owe me one."

I blinked in surprise. "Wow... Didn't think it would be that easy."

"Whatever. Just get away from me."

I backed off, sitting in my usual spot next to Annabeth, who automatically wrapped her arms around my waist. "So, where do you have to be?"

"I'm actually going out to dinner with my mom, there's this guy she's been talking to online and they wanna meet up."

"Oh, sweet. So it's just gonna be the three of you?"

I nodded.

She pouted. "Aww man, I was hoping I could come along with you. We never do anything fun together!"

"I know, I know. Hey, maybe I could take you over to my place and we could play some video games?"

"Well... Ok, but I have to be back by six. Mr. Brunner's a little overprotective."

I cracked a smile. "Is that why I get in trouble for PDA so often, and nobody else seems to?"

She jabbed my side. "Maybe it's just because we can barely keep our hands off of each other." She suggested, before planting a peck on my cheek. "But what do I know?"

"Everything." I answered. "You know everything."

"I don't know everything, it's impossible for someone to know everything."

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and kiss me, would you?"

A blush crawled onto my face. "Really? With all these people here?" I asked. "Maybe we should wait until we're at my place."

She sighed. "Fine, you win this round." Her hand slipped into mine. "I love you."

I squeezed a little. "I love you too."

Let's just hope I keep loving you...

Chapter Text

This entire chapter is gonna be in Percy's perspective. hehe. PERCEspective)

When I first woke up, it was 11:00. I roused myself from bed and sighed, trying not to freak out. After all, it was only a lunch date, nothing too serious. It wasn't even my date!

I showered, brushed my teeth, and got dressed in my Hawaiian shirt, with a white t-shirt under it, I put my shark tooth on and everything. Looking in the mirror... Yeah, I kinda looked like a fuckboy. But like... Not that much, right? My hair kept falling in my face, maybe I should get it cut? No, I liked it... It was just inconvenient.

Ok, you're ok. You look great!

"Sweetheart? Are you dressed?" I heard her call from her bedroom. "I need a little help picking out my clothes."

"Coming!"

I went over there and knocked before opening the door, finding two dresses splayed out on her bed, one white and one in a swirling black and blue pattern. "These are my nicest ones... Which one do you think I should put on?"

I shrugged. "You'll look great either way, you always do. I don't know much about clothes, just pick whichever one you want."

"Well... I mean, the white one is more of a formal thing, don't you think?"

"I dunno, I guess."

She sighed, waiting for a moment before grabbing the blue sundress and rushing over to the closet. "Whaddya think?"

"I think you look beautiful!"

She smiled. "Thanks, honey." She looked in the mirror before turning around, trying to get a good look at her back. "It... Doesn't cover everything, though." She muttered, before grabbing a white button-down and pulling it over herself.

I chewed the inside of my mouth. "... They're nothing to be ashamed of, y'know."

She let out a heavy sigh as she checked on her back once again in the mirror. "I know, I just... I know he'd ask about them if he saw them, and I don't want to lie to him."

"Then don't." I offered. "You know you'll have to tell him the truth at some point, right?"

She shrugged. "I don't wanna think about it tonight, and I don't want him to know how messed up I really am anyway. Not so soon, not on the first in-person date. It could... Scare him off." She shook her head. "Oh, hey! We're matching!" She noticed.

Once she got her purse and her keys, I followed her out to the car. I was still really fidgety, constantly bouncing my leg or tapping my fingers, trying to calm myself down. Deep breaths, deep breaths, it's just one date. And if anything's off, she'll know, and she'll cut contact. I know she will.

-

As we walked into the restaurant, checked the reservations and everything, we went over to our table, where her date was waiting. She shyly waved, a smile growing on her face. "Hi, Paul."

However, my brain short-circuited. I didn't know how to react. I was just standing there, for about 10 seconds, my mouth agape, before I finally spoke. "... Oh shit."

"Well, hello to you too." Mr. Blofis responded.

She looked over at me, concerned. "What is it?"

I sighed. "Sorry for the profanity, I just, uh... That's my teacher."

"Oh! Well isn't that nice?" She sat down with him. "He's a good one, right?"

"Well, yeah. He's... Better than most I've had, honestly." I sat next to her. The server came soon after that and asked about drinks. Him and I both got a Diet Coke, and mom got an iced tea. "... So, um..." I tried to find some way to break the ice. "... On the first day of school, you told us you killed a snake once. What was that about?"

"Well, I had to. It was about to bite my wife-"

"Your what!?"

"At the time, jeez! My wife at the time."

"What happened to her? Did she die? Did she leave?" Did you kill her? Was she scared of you?

He put his hands up, laughing. "Jeez, I feel like a teenager again, getting grilled by her dad. We just weren't compatible, that's all. So... We got a divorce."

I sighed, my face heating up. "... Oh."

My mom shot me a sympathetic look, her hand reaching for mine, then turned to him. "Well, that sucks... Any specific reasons?"

"It was a lot, but... Mostly, she kept on pestering me for kids."

Her expression changed to confusion. "Well, why did you start dating me then? I mean, if you don't want kids-"

"I never said I don't want kids, I just... I wasn't ready. That was years ago, we were barely in our 20s. Y'know how it goes."

She nodded. "... I get it. I mean, I was 18 when I first got pregnant, and like... It's not that I regret having him, I don't, I'm so glad I chose to keep him, but I just- I was completely unprepared, and there's so much I wish I'd known beforehand, that I didn't even think of. So... I'm glad you chose what was right for you, I guess is what I'm trying to get at."

"Yeah... Me too." He paused to thank the server as they set our drinks and menus down. "Especially since I ended up meeting you."

Her face went red. "Wow... Gosh, I never thought I'd fall in love like this again, at 37. I was honestly kinda scared that it's just... Too late for me."

He put a hand on hers. "Hey, it's not too late. It's never too late. I mean, I'm 42."

"42, huh?" She smirked. "So that means you're the answer to life, the universe, and everything."

His eyes widened behind his glasses. "Wow, so you're a fan of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?"

"Well, I wouldn't say an avid fan, never watched the movie or anything, but I did enjoy reading it a lot more than I expected to. Sci-fi has never really been my thing, but it was just so funny I fell in love with it anyway."

"What's so bad about sci-fi?"

She shrugged. "It's just so focused on the nitty-gritty, I guess. The technology, and how it works, and how cool it looks. And I get that some people really like it, but to me, it feels... Mechanical, almost. Not quite human. Then again, maybe that's just the movies. Movies aren't usually as good as books."

"Huh... Why'd you decide to pick it up then?"

"Oh, one of my old professors had this thing where, every month, he made us read a book that was outside our comfort zone. I'm glad I chose that one, and that I had that professor too, even if I didn't learn very much from him."

He seemed impressed. "Really? Where'd you graduate from?"

Her shoulders dropped. "Oh, I uh... Never actually graduated. I took the first year and, well... Then I got pregnant. I figured, babies are expensive, and college is expensive, and..." She shrugged. "... I'm taking online classes now, though. Hopefully, I can get a better job and help put this little ragamuffin through college too." She reached up to mess with my hair.

I rolled my eyes and gently pushed her away. "Yeah, like any of them would have me."

"Oh, don't be like that! You're much smarter than you give yourself credit for, I'm sure we'll find something."

"Well, you better." He cut in. "Otherwise, you'll be stuck working at McDonalds."

I shrugged. "At least I'll get free chicken nuggets."

He laughed a little. "Well, you're quite the optimist, aren't you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Out of all the words to describe me, I never thought 'optimist' would be one of them." I smirked. "In any case, you probably won't need to go looking for a job once you graduate, assuming you'll have your book published by then."

His mouth gaped open. "You're writing a book!?"

"Oh, I, um..." Her face started to turn red, and she slipped her hand into mine again. "... Well, it's not Ibsen. I mean, I'm a little rusty after all, I started on this whole thing a few months ago, and before that I hadn't written anything since I was a teenager."

"Oh..." His face dropped. "Why'd you stop?"

Her eyes went wide, and she squeezed my hand a little tighter. "Oh, just... Y'know. Writer's block." She shrugged. "I'm glad it's over, at least."

"Well, good for you! Y'know, I'm glad to find someone that's so passionate about this kind of stuff. I don't have many friends my age, so I'm mostly interacting with my students, and they tend to think literature is boring and stuffy. And it can be, but... It doesn't have to be." He started listing off authors and books that he didn't consider boring or stuffy, and at that point, I tuned out. They seemed so happy together, and my fears started subsiding.

Fears he didn't even know about.

Yet.

But sometime tomorrow, or maybe even later today, he's gonna go home, and he's gonna read that assignment, with all that personal shit in it. And he's gonna realize that this woman... Who seems so so normal, so easygoing and well-adjusted... Has been through something. Something vague, but easy enough to guess. And he'll never look at her quite the same way. He'll never look at me quite the same way either, his potential step-son.

How's he gonna react to that? Will she have been right, that it could scare him off, and he won't want to be with her? Or worse, what if it attracts him? What if he's happy when he finds out, because he figures that she has lower standards now, and he can treat her badly without her leaving, as long as he's marginally better than... Him?

Fuck, I never should've said anything, I should've just taken the zero. Why, Nico, why did you talk me into this? No, no, I shouldn't be blaming him. He didn't know. I was the one that should've pushed back, resisted the urge to spill my guts to someone I didn't know and who's currently in love with my mom.

Christ, I've ruined everything. I've fucked it all up, her one chance at happiness, at finding love, and I blew it!

I could feel it coming on, the panic attack. Apparently, my mom could sense it too, because she put her hand on my arm. "Baby, are you alright?"

"Um... Yeah, I just..." I looked over at Paul. "... I gotta go to the bathroom." I stood up, going to the men's room in a daze, just trying to hold myself together until I could lock myself in a stall and let myself fall apart.

One of the things most people don't know about panic attacks, because most people don't have to deal with panic attacks, is how much they feel like heart attacks. The first time I had one, I thought that's what it was. Even now, it's taking me everything I have within me not to call an ambulance.

Maybe I should. Maybe I really am dying. I feel like I'm dying.

You're not dying, you overdramatic dickhead! This could've been fun, this could've just been a normal-ass date, but no! You had to get all defensive and weird, and make it about you! You're so selfish for this, and after all she's done for you, really? All the horrors she's endured, all the sacrifices she's made, for your sorry ass to come in and ruin the one good thing she has going for her? You don't deserve her. You don't deserve to have someone like her as a mother. You're a weakling, a pathetic little crybaby, a parasite, and she only puts up with you because you're her son. She probably hates you, deep down, and why wouldn't she? She only married that asshole in the first place because of you, because she needed to support you. And she stayed with him for you, even after everything he did to her. She killed him to protect you. And she had to dip into her emergency fund to pay for your speech therapy. And throughout all of that, you've done nothing but take and take and take, maybe felt a little bad about it, but never enough to try to make it up to her. If she doesn't hate you by now, at least a little bit, then she's not human. She's some kind of angel, she has to be, to still love someone as fucked up and terrible as you are. Because you are, quite literally, the worst.

Y'know... If she could hear how I'm talking to myself right now, it would break her heart.

I felt a lump form in my throat, my fingernails digging into my biceps as I started to cry, not even trying to hold it in anymore. It's ok, it's ok to cry, don't feel bad about it. Don't let him win.

Is this just my life now? Am I just doomed for this to happen to me every couple days? It never used to be this often. What's gotten into me? I'm supposed to be getting better, not worse. I don't understand...

Eventually, I stopped crying. My breathing evened out, and the storm had passed. But another thing most people don't know about panic attacks, again, because most people don't have to deal with panic attacks, is how... Tiring they are. I wanted to go back out there and continue with the rest of the date, because I don't think we've ordered food yet, and call me R-rated Garfield because I want some goddamn lasagna. But... I just couldn't. I knew I couldn't just act like everything was normal after... That. I couldn't even get my legs to work. I just kept staring at the floor, numb and barely awake, totally drained, until I heard a knock at the door.

The stall door.

"... Um, Percy? You've been in here for over half an hour, and... Your mom just sent me in to check on you, make sure you're ok."

"Oh, um..." Shit, he can tell I've been crying. "... Yeah, lemme just... Uh..." I forced my legs to stand up and opened the door. Fuck. I never wanted him to see me like this. "... Hi." I mumbled, trying to sound casual.

"Uh... Hey."

I sighed and walked past him to wash my hands and my face.

He followed behind me. "... So, I don't mean to pry, but... What the hell was that?"

"What was what?" I asked, more monotone than I expected.

"I... That. Y'know, you going all quiet for a while, with this... Shell-shocked look on your face, and then you just went to the bathroom and stayed there for nearly an hour. What was that? Did I say something, or...?"

"No. You just..." I shook my head, wiping my hands on my shirt. "... You'll find out soon enough." I walked past him and opened the door to find my mother standing there. "... Hey."

"Hey..." She took my hand again. "... Are you gonna be ok here, or should I take you home?"

I considered lying to her, but she'd be able to tell, so I just nodded.

"Ok. Paul, baby, I think... We'll have to find some other time to meet."

"Aww shucks, wish I could've spent a little more time with you."

She shrugged. "There's always next time."

"Yeah... There's always next time." He looked up at me. "Well, I hope you feel better soon, whatever that was. Do you get sick like that often?"

"Uh, no, I just... I guess they didn't clean out their glasses very well." I forced a laugh. "Anyway, um... I'll just, uh..." I start walking out to the car.

Once she got in, she looked over at me. "Oh, sweetheart... I wish you didn't have to deal with this."

"Me too, mom." I took her hand. "... I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I don't know what I'd do without you."

She squeezed it. "I love you too, baby. My little hero..." She smiled and let go, driving back to our apartment.

Chapter Text

This one is all gonna be in Nico's perspective, sorry there's no cute little pun this time)

It's Sunday. Dad's at church. Hazel and I, however, aren't. That doesn't mean Sunday mornings aren't special for us, though. Usually, we'd be cuddling on the couch, finally able to watch whatever we wanted on TV. Today, though, she's in her room, on the phone with Frank. She's so in love, and it's so endearing to watch, but... That's all I can do, is watch. Watch her slowly become more and more distant. And I guess it makes sense, there was alway gonna come a time when she needed to grow up and leave the nest. And it's good to know she's not gonna need me forever. But... Where does that leave me? Once she doesn't need me anymore, what purpose will I serve? What will be my reason for staying alive?

I shook the thoughts out of my head and kept flipping through the channels, unsure of what to watch. I never knew what to watch when she wasn't around, since I always just let her pick, and I was alone this time. I don't know what I like when it comes to TV, to be honest. Nothing really seems to appeal to me. Does that make me weird? Is there something wrong with me?

Eventually, I stopped, only to find that I'd accidentally started watching a televangelist. "...- And to that, I say: Suck it up!"

I shut the TV off the minute he said that. Even years later, the sting of those words never quite... Left.

-

It was a month after Bianca's death, and I had gone into the confessional. "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."

"What was your transgression, my child?"

"I... I stole something from my dad."

"I see... What was it that you stole?"

"... Y'know those, uhh... Thingies that you use to shave? Not the handle, but... The sharp part?"

"The... Razorblade?"

"Yeah. One of those."

"I see... And what did you intend to do with that razorblade?"

"I..." I sighed. "... I used it to hurt myself."

"You what!?" His volume made me flinch. "Young man, self-mutilation is a far worse offense to the Lord than petty theft! Why didn't you think to tell me that first!?"

"I-I didn't know it was that big of a deal. I... I'm sorry."

"How did you not know that!? Everybody knows that! What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"Y-you're scaring me. I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I promise."

"You better not. Even now, you're neck-deep in trouble with the big man upstairs. Self-mutilation is barely a step above suicide. Your body belongs to God, so anytime you inflict harm on that body, whether that's through addiction, recklessness, or intentional self-mutilation, you're damaging God's property. And he takes that kind of thing very seriously. Do I make myself clear?"

I felt a lump form in my throat, and tried to say yes, but nothing came out except a sob.

"Oh, for the love of-... Stop it. Stop crying. Y'know who else cries? Babies. Are you a baby?"

I sniffed. "N-no... I'm almost th-thirteen, that's not a baby..."

"Then you need to act like it."

I let out a shuddering breath and tried to compose myself. "O-ok... I'm not crying anymore."

"Good boy... Now, just keep that up, would you?"

"Ok, I... I'll try." I sighed. "But... What do I do then? If I can't cry, and I can't hurt myself, then what do I do when I get upset?"

"... You suck it up, kid. You suck it up and be strong for your daddy. Five Acts of Contrition, tell your father the truth, and all shall be forgiven. But remember, you're on thin ice."

"I understand, Father Minos." I stood up to leave, not even bothering to thank him as I walked back out to the pews to sit next to my dad. I sat through the rest of the sermon in silence, and followed my dad out to the car, still without saying a word. Once we got home, I considered telling him, like he told me to, but... I just couldn't. Not after how miserable he'd been. I couldn't bring myself to let him know that I was cutting myself. 'That would only make him sadder' I thought. 'It's better if I just keep this a secret.'
-

That night, I went to bed in his room, like I used to do when I was especially upset, trying and failing to hold in my tears. I don't think I'd ever felt more ashamed of myself.

I didn't go to church the next Sunday. Or the one after that, or the one after that. I was too embarrassed. And eventually, it stopped being about shame, and it started being about resentment. There are a lot of shitty things I deserve, but I just can't convince myself that I deserved... That. To be bullied, berated, humiliated, as an almost-13-year-old, in the one place I thought I'd be safe.

A few months later, I come to find out that's not even the worst thing he's done to boys my age in the confession booth. I still try not to think about how close I'd been to being one more charge added to his case. The worst part is, he was found not guilty, and didn't even lose his job.

I could look past how callous he'd been when I told him about my habit as just being him. I could even do the same with the fact that when I found out about Bianca, and I tried to comfort myself by saying at least she's in heaven, he told me she wasn't. Not with the way she was found with Zoë in that broken fridge. All of that, that was just him. Just his cruelty, his insensitivity. But to know that they still put him in a tight, confined space, alone with kids, and somehow trusted him not to do anything, disgusted me. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, that finally pushed me to denounce the religion altogether.

Of course, easier said than done. Hell, I still have my old rosary stashed away somewhere. If I wanted to, I could tag along with dad next week and take it all back and be the good little catholic boy I used to be. But... I don't want to. Especially not with knowing he's still there, waiting for me, the one that slipped through his fingers.

He's never tried to make me either.

That's the best thing I can say about him, honestly. Drunk or sober, close or distant, he never made me do anything I didn't want to.

I curled up a little tighter on the couch, staring at the black screen, knowing full-well that I'd have to get up when he got back home. I just felt so... Tired. I was always tired. And I couldn't find the willpower to fight through it this time.

At least I wasn't crying, right?

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

Well, this week went better than expected. He didn't say anything about my assignment on Monday, just handed it back. And with a 100, even in spite of all the cursing! I'm pretty sure he gave everyone a 100, excluding Clarisse, who didn't do it. But still, it felt nice to get a perfect score. I'm pretty sure the last time I got one of those was... I wanna say second grade? So I felt pretty accomplished. As for the rest of my classes, most of them I did pretty average in, but I did get a B on a pop quiz in biology earlier today. And that's pretty good for me! Maybe it's good luck from my birthday... Oh yeah, by the way, as of today, August 18, 2022, I am 18 years old! Go me!

And right now, I'm making a batch of cupcakes with my mom. Well, waiting for them to ding in the oven. I didn't really do much except handle the mixer and get a bunch of flour in my face, which I did my best to wash off in the kitchen sink. Though, some of it made its way into my hair, so I kinda looked like an old man.

"So..." Mom started. "... Have you thought about a party?"

I shrugged. "I guess like, a movie night or something, maybe order a pizza. Nothing too elaborate. Just my friends, my girlfriend, maybe your boyfriend."

She smiled. "I'm glad to know you've... Y'know, warmed up to him."

"Yeah, me too."

"... So, should we go out to the theatre, or just use the DVD player here?"

I shrugged. "I think we should just have it here, like we do every year."

Her hand laid on top of mine. "Yeah, that'll be nice. What movie were you thinking? Disney, superheroes, maybe one of those cheesy 90's rom-coms?"

"Well, actually... Um, there's this one movie..." I shook my head. "Nevermind, it's probably too scary for you."

"Oh, c'mon, don't be like that! It's your party, after all."

I smiled. "Well... Ok." I stood up and reached down to the entertainment console, pulling out Annabeth's 5th anniversary gift. "Ta-da!"

Her eyes went wide, and she stood up, calmly approaching me. "Honey... You know I love you. And if this is really what you want, then I'll let you have it. But..." She leaned in to get a better look. "... Isn't this R rated?" She asked. "Where did you even get this?"

"Oh, Annabeth got it for me, as a gift." I explained. "Y'know how her birthday's in July, so there's this little window of opportunity where she's a year older than me? That's basically what happened here." It's not, she's just got a fake ID. But I couldn't tell her that, it would scare her too much.

She sighed in relief. "Ok, good to know there's nothing shady going on. So... Why this movie?"

I shrugged. "She said it's like an adult version of The Little Mermaid, basically."

"Oh, how cute! You did use to love that movie as a little kid."

"I still do." I laughed a bit. "So... Tomorrow?"

She smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good... But if this thing gives you nightmares, you can't say I didn't warn you." Just then, the oven ding'd. "Ooh! They're ready!" She took my hand and pulled me into the kitchen.

Once they were out, we gave them a little time to cool down before frosting them. We both ended up getting quite a bit on ourselves, but they were still good, and between the two of us, we both ate half of them.

-

I brought the other half to lunch the next day, one for each of my friends, including myself. "So... My mom's hosting a birthday party tonight. We're gonna order pizza and-"

"Aww hell yeah!" Leo interrupted. "I'm always down for free pizza!"

I laughed. "Ok, ok. I was gonna say, we're gonna watch a movie too. Not just... Stand around and eat pizza."

"Which movie?" Annabeth asked.

"The Shape of Water."

Her arm slid around my waist. "How sweet~" She pecked me on the cheek. "So is it gonna be all of us?"

"Oh, yeah. That is, unless there's anyone that can't come." I looked around the table.

Jason shrugged. "I'll have to ask Hera, and considering how strict she can be, she'll probably say no."

"Oh... Bummer, man." Piper picked at her lunch. "Well, if you're not coming, I don't think I will either."

"Oh, c'mon!" Annabeth begged. "You're always the life of the party!"

"Well, yeah. Because he's always there to make sure I don't fly off the handle. I know I look like I've got my shit together, but I can be super impulsive and unhinged if you let me."

"I could take you~" Leo offered.

"Mmh... Pass."

He pouted. "Aww, really?"

She shrugged. "I think you're even worse than me on the impulsive front."

"Well, I do try." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Guess I'll have to look for some other fine maiden to chaperone, then."

She cracked up. "Are you trying to sound seductive? Because it's not working."

I laughed a bit. "Well, are you still coming?"

"Oh, fuck yeah! Like I said, always down for free pizza. And cake. There's gonna be cake, right?"

"Of course there's gonna be cake. It's a birthday party!" I sighed, looking over to Nico, who didn't seem to be paying attention. "... So, what about you?"

He snapped his head up. "Hmm?"

"Were you listening to me?"

"Oh... No, sorry. I just kinda zoned out after hearing the word 'party'. I didn't think..." He shrugged.

I raised a brow. "You thought we were just gonna make plans right in front of you and not invite you to come along? Dude... I'm not that big of a dick."

His face started turning pink. "Oh... You, uh... You were...?"

"Yeah. Leo's coming, Annabeth's coming... Are you coming with us?"

He sighed. "Well, I don't really know anyone here that well... I mean, except for Leo, and he'll probably be too preoccupied with causing as much trouble as he can. Would you mind if I asked my little sister along, and also potentially her boyfriend?"

"Oh, no that's cool."

He took his phone out of his pocket and started texting her. After a while, he came back with an answer. "Yep, they're coming!"

"Great!"

Annabeth nodded. "So including your mom, that's... Six people coming, not including yourself. Or eight, if, by some miracle, Jason is allowed to go."

"Hopefully, mom's new boyfriend shows up and bumps it up to seven."

Her face scrunched in skepticism. "That's quite a lot of people, are you sure the floor's gonna be able to handle it?"

I laughed. "I'm sure it'll be fine, stop being a worrywart."

She sighed, annoyed. "... Ok. If you insist... So, you could have a step-dad soon."

"Well, I sure hope so. You're gonna love him, he's a real nerd."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Well, I wouldn't exactly say I'm worthy of the title of 'nerd' anymore. I haven't gotten a single 100 in French class yet, and I'm already two weeks in! I actually got an 80 on the daily assignment! I'm such a fuckup!"

"You're not a fuckup."

"Oh, shut up. I know you still think I'm great, and you're so sweet for thinking that. You're wrong, but you're sweet."

"... Y'know..." Piper started. "... My offer still stands, if you need me to-"

"No. I can do this on my own, I just need to work hard and apply myself. That's what they always tell you. I just have to realize that I suck, and then stop sucking."

"You don't suck!" I countered.

She glared at me. "Percy, hon, I know you think you're helping by trying to artificially inflate my ego. But the fact of the matter is that I can't grow as a person until I acknowledge the fact that I'm a total failure."

I sighed, trying to ignore the nagging feeling in my chest that all this venom was somehow directed at me. It's not. I know it's not. It's only meant for herself. I need to push aside my own ego and focus on her. "... Hey, maybe this party'll help you decompress."

"I... Yeah. Hopefully, anyway."

-

I took her to my house after school, and as the crowd began to shuffle in, I squeezed her hand. "Hey, um... Can you meet me in my bedroom? We... Need to talk."

She blinked in surprise. "Oh... Yeah, sure." She followed me to my room and sat on my bed. "What's the matter?"

I sat down next to her, looking up at the ceiling. "... So, at lunch... You went on this whole big tangent, and-"

"Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to get all down on your birthday and suck all the attention away from you, it's just... I don't know. Once you start, it's hard to stop."

"No, that's not... I mean, sure, I'm a little miffed about that, but most importantly..." I considered telling her everything. Asking her, directly, if an 80 makes her a failure, then what am I? But... I didn't. I couldn't. I had to remember, this isn't about me. "... I'm concerned."

She gave me a quizzical look. "Concerned?"

"Well... Yeah. I mean, you're getting all stressed out about this one little thing-"

"It's not little. Your grades determine the course of your life, ok? If I can't pull myself out of this hole, there's no way I can get into one of the Ivys. And if I get into one of the Ivys-"

"Then you won't get into one of the Ivys." I finished. "You'll have to go to a regular-ass college like everyone else, and you'll crush it, because you always do. And you'll get a decent paying job in some real estate firm or wherever it is that architects work, and you'll settle down with me. And we'll build our future together." I took her hand. "... It's not the end of the world."

She blushed. "... Y'know, it's funny you say 'build' our future."

I raised a brow. "Oh? And why is that, exactly?"

"Well, because when I imagine our adult lives, I mostly circle back to fantasizing about our future house."

"You do?"

"Yeah! I've always wanted to find some old fixer-upper and really go to town on it, do all the cool things I want to do to it."

I smiled. "Well, I've got the perfect fixer-upper in mind."

"Really?"

"Yeah..." I sighed, fidgeting with my hands. "... Back when I was little... My mom actually used to own a house. I still remember where it is, actually."

"Well, what happened?"

I bit my lip. "... Well, long story short, we had to sell it. And at a super low price too, so it's not like we could just buy a new one with the money. But ever since then, I've wanted to make a lot of money and... Buy it back. So It'll be ours, and ours alone, and nobody can-..." I stopped myself from saying too much and laid down on the bed. "... So, what are you thinking?"

"Hmm?"

For the house."

"Hmm... Well, I don't exactly have blueprints, I'd need to know the floor plan. But I do have quite a few loose ideas, milled wood, a spiral staircase, funky-shaped windows. Hell, maybe even a cute little loft bedroom for the kids."

"Wait a minute... Kids?"

She cocked her head. "Well... Yeah. I always figured we would have kids."

"I... I don't think I want kids."

"Well, not right this second, obviously. But in five to ten years, I'm sure we'll be ready."

I groaned. "No, I mean... I don't think I'll ever-" I heard a knock on the door, and when I answered it, I was surprised to find Jason and Piper.

"Surprise, she said yes!" He laughed. "For once."

Piper handed me a gift card for some fancy restaurant I've never been to. "Since you're so hard to shop for... It's got like, 150 bucks on it."

"Holy crap! Well, now I know where to have my next date." I smirked over at Annabeth.

She rolled her eyes. "You're such a dork." She kissed me on the cheek.

After them came Leo, then Paul, and then Nico, Hazel, and Frank, all at once. "Oh crap, were we supposed to bring a gift?" Nico asked. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's fine. I really didn't expect that. C'mon in!"

We all had a great time, ate cake and pizza until we couldn't eat anymore, and eventually, we all sat on the couch together, or in Nico and Leo's case, cross-legged on the floor, as the movie started. I had my mom on one side, my girlfriend on the other, Paul was on my mom's other side, and Piper was sitting in Jason's lap.

I had all my friends surrounding me, and that's a much more meaningful present than a gift card.

Although... As I looked over at her, remembering our conversation, on the doors I nearly opened up in it, one thought came to my mind.

You know you'll have to tell her the truth at some point, right?

-

Nico's POV)

Once the movie was over, I would've left, were it not for Leo's head leaning on my shoulder as he slept, like he had been for the entire movie. I normally don't do physical contact unless it's with my little sister, but... He just looked so comfortable that I didn't complain. I'll admit it, I've got a soft spot for the guy.

Honestly, I wasn't sure about coming in the first place. Parties are... Weird for me.

Don't get me wrong, I was glad to be invited, but... I don't know. I never know what to do with my hands, or what to say when someone approaches me. I'm just not good at... Being around people. For some reason, social situations really intimidate me, and I always get so nervous whenever I have to attend. My dad was always the same way, even before... Everything. So maybe it's genetic, somehow. Maybe I have some kind of disorder that prevents me from being a normal person.

Of course, maybe it's just because I don't get much practice. I haven't had a proper birthday party since I was a little kid, and... I don't think I've ever been invited to anyone else's. In fact, none of the neighborhood kids used to come to mine, except Percy, and he only stuck around for the cake. He was the only reason we kept throwing them at all.

I think that might be part of why I can't get him out of my head now. He was the only kid on my street, aside from my sister, that wasn't... Disgusted by me. And I mistook that for love. God, I'm pathetic.

I finished my drink and set the cup on the table before shaking Leo awake. "Ok, hot stuff. Party's over, let's get you home."

He didn't respond.

After a few more tries, I eventually gave up. I had to get Hazel home anyway. So I just hoisted him up onto the couch, leaving Ms. Jackson to deal with him, and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, um... It's getting dark. We need to get home."

She looked over at me. "Oh, dang. Sorry, I was just so preoccupied with my big fluffy teddy bear~" She squeezed him a little tighter. "Must've lost track of time."

"It's alright, don't worry about it."

She stood up, and so did Frank, who spoke up. "Hey, so I really wish I could walk you home, but it's getting late, and Clarisse is gonna be really mad at me if I'm late." He rummaged around in his pockets, eventually coming up with a 20 dollar bill. "If you want, you can use this for a taxi."

She smiled and reached up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. "Aww, you're so sweet~"

He laughed. "Oh, stop it. You'll make me blush~"

They went back and forth like that for a little, like they'd been doing all night, and I eventually went over to the door. "Alright, are you two lovebirds coming or what?"

She rolled her eyes and followed me, still holding Frank's hand. As it turns out, Frank lives only a few floors down, and after he got off, we went down to the lobby and out to the street, catching a taxi as soon as we could.

-

The minute she got home, she ran up the stairs and up to her room, presumably to talk to Frank even more on the phone. I, on the other hand, stayed in the doorway for a little while, taking in how big, and empty, and... Quiet this house is, which I never noticed until now.

Eventually, I got my legs working again, and walked over to the couch, checking to see if my dad was still there. Thank goodness, he was. "... Hey." I started.

He didn't respond.

Disappointed, I walked up to my room, plopped myself on the bed, and went to sleep. Today was... Tiring. But most days are. At least this one left me happy.

But I do kind of wonder, now, if last week was a fluke. If there really was no going back to how things were with him.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

When I woke up next, I got up and knocked on the bathroom door. A sing-song "Just a minute!" Rang from the other side. After a little bit of waiting, I could hear her groan. "Oh fiddlesticks, why did I think I could do a cat's eye? I look like a clown!" And then later, "I need to look up a tutorial. Let's see..."

At that point, I just went to the downstairs bathroom. Once I was done, I washed my hands and stepped out to find her in a light purple dress, heels, even a bracelet, and... Gold shimmery eyelids? "Woah! You're... Um, wow. Ok..."

She smiled. "What?"

"I just- you... You're wearing makeup. I've never seen you do that before."

"Well, I am going out on a date."

My jaw dropped. "... Excuse me, what? And you didn't tell me?"

"Well, he only asked me out this morning."

"And you were just gonna leave? Again, without telling me?" I asked.

She sighed. "I was about to write a note for you, jeez! Y'know, this whole 'overprotective brother' shtick is usually cute, and sometimes actually helpful, but right now, it's getting pretty annoying."

"Ok, ok, I'll back off. Where are you gonna be?"

"Hog Heaven, for lunch. That's why I'm not wearing lipstick." She laughed. "What's the point, right?"

I cracked a smile. "Alright... Do you want me to walk you over there, or-"

"He's picking me up."

"Oh... Well, good. So, should I go and pick you up afterwards, then?"

"Yeah, about that. Piper, Annabeth, and I were actually gonna spend the rest of the day together after this, like as a girls day. Y'know, go shopping, maybe watch a movie, get some ice cream, just hanging out. But they'll take me home when I'm ready."

"Well, I guess I should go ahead and get started on dinner."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. We'll probably just go for pizza or something."

I bit my lip. "... You're really gonna be out that long?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"With Annabeth and Piper? Do you even know them?"

"We met at the party." She explained. Just then, there was a knock at the door. "Oh! He's here!" She sped away to answer the door, and before I knew it, it was closed again, and I was alone. I watched them from the window, talking and laughing, unable to keep their hands off each other. It made me happy to see them so in love, but a nervous... Pit formed in my stomach.

You be good to her, Frank.

I sighed and turned away before starting to clean up. I don't know why, I just didn't know what else to do. I had all this nervous energy, and nowhere to put it. Which is a first for me, since I normally had very little energy.

This is her first time going out without me, and sure, she's going out with Frank, and I trust him, but there's some part of me that... Doesn't. That can't. That's always going to doubt him, like it does with everyone. Even her. Not that I think she'd ever do anything bad, quite the opposite actually. She's so... Innocent. And I love that about her, I wouldn't change her for the world.

But this city wasn't built for innocent people. It was built for cynics, for crooks. For people that understand trust as weakness, whose hearts are chained up with a combination lock.

And now she's going out with people I barely know, that she barely knows. Not only do I have to trust them not to do anything malicious, but also to protect her from the dangerous men I'm usually tasked with warding off, whenever I walk her home from school.

She's the most important thing to me. Every time I need to remind myself that I have it better than most, I point to the same three things: House, food, Hazel. So if something happens to her while I'm not there to protect her, I'll never forgive myself. And if something happens to her on his watch, on their watch, I'll never forgive them either. God forbid if he's the one to do it. I'll be in jail faster than you can say aggravated assault.

This is how it happened before, y'know. She went out with her friends, and she never came back.

I shouldn't be like this. I should just shut up and be happy for her. But... I can't lose anyone else. I can't. I feel so fragile already.

I hate it. I wish I could just get over myself.

Suck it up.

The door opened, and I whipped my head around, thinking, for a split second, that it was her. But instead, it was my father. "Oh... You're back."

He just nodded, falling onto the couch again.

"... I didn't even realize you were gone."

Still no response.

I sighed. "... I put your blanket in the wash. Just in case you were wondering where it was."

He turned on the TV.

I stopped talking, looking over at the clock. 7:00... How long have I been cleaning?

How long has she been out?

I went up to my room and laid down, my thoughts kept getting clouded by anxieties and memories.

-

The next morning was Christmas, and when I woke up, I was... Confused. Why wasn't she in her room? Maybe she just lost track of time, hopefully she'd be back in time to open my present to her. It was only a card, but I made it myself, and I was very proud of it.

When I went downstairs, though, I noticed my dad getting a phone call. I didn't hear what the other person was saying, but I did see the expression on his face, his hand laying on top of his heart, his monotone, monosyllabic responses. It was supposed to be such a happy time, and yet, he looked so sad.

He hung up and I asked him what was going on, but he just started to cry. I tried to comfort him, but that only made him worse. He was hysterical, completely breaking down, sobbing and screaming in pain. He was beginning to scare me. What could he possibly have been told that would make him react like this?

There was a knock on the door.

-

Just as I remembered that, there really was one. I got out of bed to answer it, relieved to find Hazel standing at the door. "Hey, you're finally home!"

"Yep!" She smiled up and me before it dropped, her head tilting to the side in confusion. "Um... What happened?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"... Your eyes are all red. Are you ok?"

I sighed in exasperation. "Yes! God, why are you always asking me that?"

She shrugged. "Well, if you say so..." She walked past me, up the stairs.

I followed her up. "So... I take it you had a good time?"

"Uh huh." She opened the door to her room and stepped inside.

I was a little freaked out. She's usually more talkative than this. I tried to prompt her. "Well... Is there anything in particular that you... Remember? Anything good, anything bad...?"

"Why are you asking so many questions?" She asked, sitting on her bed.

I sat beside her, but she scooted away. "... I just want to know how you're doing."

"Well, I'm doing good. Is that enough of an answer for you?" She asked. "Look, I know you wanna be around me every second of the day, but there are some things you can only really do with other girls."

I crossed my arms. "Like what?"

"Like getting manicures, or going clothes shopping, or... Talking about boys." She blushed. "I just... I need time away from you. And you can be as jealous as you want, but it's not going to change that."

I sighed, standing back up and opening the door between us. "... Ok. I love you, and... I'm sorry." I slipped out and went to lay down on my bed, thoughts once again swirling through my mind.

Talking about boys...

You've never had a girlfriend. Why is that?

Oh, no dear boy, not with how they were found pressed up against each other...

This better not be turning you on...

Only dead boys wear makeup.

After... Hours of enduring that, I heard my phone ring.

-

Percy's POV)

I woke up at ten, immediately remembered I had to go to work, and shot up from my bed, hastily getting dressed, brushing my teeth, the whole shebang. Well, half the shebang, but the half that really matters. Grabbed a redbull from under my bed and chugged it before starting on my way to work, barely able to wave hi and bye to my mom.

I was the only server, so I was already stressed. A the lunch rush was coming up, which didn't exactly help. When it came, there must've been a total of like, 30 people there... One of which happened to be Annabeth.

After what seemed like hours, I finally got to her table. She smiled up at me. "Hey there, handsome~"

I blushed. "Oh, hey... Fancy seeing you here." I looked over at Piper. "Oh, and you. What's Princess Piper doing out of her ivory penthouse?" I teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up. I'm just hanging out, with my gal-pal."

"So, how's it going?" Annabeth asked.

"Honestly, terrible. All I want to do right now is sit with you and eat my weight in ribs."

She laughed. "Wouldn't that be expensive?"

I smiled. "Actually, no. Employees eat free."

"Seriously? Why don't you take me out here all the time, then?"

I laughed. "They'd still have to charge you, though."

She shrugged. "You could just order everything for me."

"I'm pretty sure my boss would get susp-" Just then, I felt someone grab me from behind, and panicked. "Get the fuck off of me!" I turned to shove off my assailant... Speak of the devil.

He stumbled back a little. "What the hell!?"

My stomach dropped. "I... I'm so sorry sir, I just-... You scared me."

"First you start socializing on the clock, now this!?"

"I said I was sorry, I didn't men to-"

"No, you listen here, you worthless little ingrate! You could've gotten me seriously injured, and the only reason you're not fired is because you're my only weekend server. If you ever, and I mean ever do that again, you're out! Do I make myself clear, brat!?"

I grit my teeth, my hands clenching into fists, rage swirling and crashing inside of me like a stormy sea. His harsh words stung, and it took everything in me not to flinch. I hated it. I hated him. He had no right to talk to me like that, no right to grab me without warning, no right to chew me out in front of my girlfriend. "... Fuck you, I quit."

His face paled at that. "You... What?"

"I quit." I took off my apron and tossed it into his arms, before starting to walk towards the door.

He followed me. "Wait, kid! You can't do this to me-"

"I can and I will, fuckface." Just as I turned back, I saw Hazel and frank, their eyes wide in shock and scandal. My own face drained itself of blood. "Uh... Hi."

Frank sighed. "I'm... Not even gonna ask."

"Alright, well... Bye. See ya." I walked past them, not worrying about who they'd replace me with.

That should've felt good. It should've felt freeing, knowing that I never have to work for that dickhead again. But I couldn't let go of the anger, the humiliation, the panic... It felt like my blood was replaced with pure liquid adrenaline.

Just then, my phone rang.

It was Annabeth.

Oh fuck. No. I can't face her right now.

I sat on a nearby bench and declined her call. It's not that I didn't want to talk to her, it's just... I knew she'd have questions. And I don't want to have to answer them.

I played a few phone games to calm down, just some mindless fun to keep my thoughts at bay. Eventually, though, I got a text.

'Going to Paul's house for a movie, do u wanna come with?'

I sighed. 'Pass, have fun'

Soon after, she replied. 'U sure you'll be ok home alone? Could be gone for a while...'

'Yea, dont worry'

'Ok. Love you <3'

'Love u too mom'

Suddenly, my attention was pulled away from my screen. "Hey, bitchboy."

I looked up. "... Clarisse?"

"Yeah. Just wanted to stop by and tell you how much I hate you."

"I... For?"

"For leaving me with the weekend shift, numbnuts!" She smacked me on the back of my head. "You're one big selfish jerk, you know that right?" Before I could even dispute it, she stalked off on her way to work.

I sighed and started walking back home. I didn't have nearly the energy I had when I started the day, so it took me a while to get there. In fact, when I checked the time, it was already 5:30. I put the phone back in my pocket. When I did, I stuffed another package of pop tarts in my mouth for dinner and took a nap.

-

I woke up a little while later. My head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, but for some reason, I felt the need to open my door. I heard... Laughing. From the other side of the room. When I stood up, everything seemed... Lower to the ground. Like I was in a room just slightly bigger than what I was used to.

Things got even stranger when I opened the door, and I was faced with... A set of stairs. I was swaying back and forth, unstable.

I still felt like I had to go downstairs, so... I did. My heart was beating out of my chest, but everything felt like it was in slow motion... Until I saw him. And everything came into sharper focus.

He was... Rotting. Parts of his arms and legs and torso had been stripped of all flesh by the worms and mice and such. I could smell him from a mile away, even more than when he'd been alive. I gagged, stepping away, but he stepped forward. "You really thought this was over? You really thought I'd go down that easy?"

I turned to run back up the stairs, but he grabbed me. "Oh, that's right. Run crying to mommy, like you always do. She spoils you, y'know, always shielding you from me, always taking your punishments for you. It's your fault. Every black eye, every broken bone of hers, it was always your fault."

"I'm not fucking scared of you!" I punched him in the jaw, making it fall off its hinges.

Somehow, he was still able to speak. "Why'd you get yourself fired, then?"

I grabbed him by the neck, throwing him against the wall. "Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" I squeezed tighter. "Let's see how you like it, motherfucker!"

He laughed. This bastard had the nerve to laugh. "You think you can do anything to me? I'm already dead. Your mother is a murderer, and I won't stop until I get my revenge. But she's not here to save you this time... I guess I'll settle for you, for now."

-

I woke up, for real this time, with a jolt. Breathe, breathe. You can breathe. It was just a dream. It was all just a dream.

When I stood up, everything was normal. I opened the door, no stairs. I looked in mom's room... Nothing.

It was dark out.

Fuck. It's times like this where the broken sliding lock really freaks me out. I looked around frantically for my phone, my breath getting faster and shallower with every passing second. Eventually, finally, I found it, and sat down before opening texts.

'Change of plans, staying @ Paul's 4 2nite. take care of urself while im gone, okie? goodnight, luv u <3333333333333'

I sighed in relief, typing back a 'lv u too' and putting the phone down on the coffee table. Y'know what... I'm not really that hungry, but maybe some of that leftover pizza and cake would make me feel better.

I ended up eating all the leftover pizza and cake. Not that there was that much, but there was enough to stuff me like a thanksgiving turkey.

When I laid back in my bed, though, I just... Couldn't sleep. I was... Too scared.

I pulled my phone out and considered calling mom, but... No. She's probably asleep right now. It's... Looking at the clock, I read 1:24.

Annabeth stays up late like me, but... No. She'd want to know what happened.

I don't know Paul... There's only one real option.

After a ring or two, he answered. "Hey..."

"... Hey... I know we don't know each other that well, but... Do you have time to talk?" I rushed out, before I could stop myself.

"Yeah, sure. What's going on?"

I sighed. "... I can't sleep." I explained.

"Oh... Why? What happened?"

Oh god, what didn't happen? "I just... A lot. I can't seem to turn my brain off."

"Well... What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know..." I whined. "... I guess just... Talk, until I fall asleep. I'm... Home alone. And... I don't like being alone."

A silence passed on the other line. "... Well, lucky for you, you don't have to be. So... What should we talk about?"

I sighed again. "I don't know." I repeated. "... How was your day?"

"Mine?"

"Yeah, yours."

"Um... Ok, I guess. What about yours?"

"I... I don't wanna think about how my day went."

I heard him whine a little in sympathy. "Was it bad?"

"... Yeah." I admitted. "But... Like I said, I really don't want to think about it. What happened with you?"

"Oh, well... Nothing really. There usually isn't anything going on with me."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean, everyone's got something going on. Even if it's nothing big or dramatic, it's still... Something. Nobody just goes through life without conflict."

"I... Guess not. But really, it's nothing out of the ordinary."

"Well... Ok. I won't pry. Then, I guess... What's your favorite food?"

"Huh... I don't know. I've never put that much thought into it. There's a lot to pick from. Maybe lasagna, or baked ziti. I mean, you don't have to stand over a pot the whole time and watch the pasta boil, you can just... Put it in an oven and wait."

I smiled. "Is that the only reason?"

"Obviously not. I mean, it's delicious, seriously. And it gets all crisped up around the edges, so I usually go for the corners, and... Dang it, you've got me thinking about food!"

I laughed. "Well, that was the idea. What's got you so upset? Did you get enough to eat today?"

He didn't answer. I could almost see his face scrunching up in embarrassment, arms crossing over his stomach.

"Nico." I started, stern. "Go to the kitchen and feed yourself. Now."

"Ugh, fine." Another silence, longer this time. Eventually, he came back, and I could hear the crinkling of a plastic bag. "I'm back. Hope you don't mind the... Y'know, the chewing and all."

"Oh, it's no problem. What'cha got?"

"Oatmeal cream pie." He answered.

I smiled again. "You've got a bit of a sweet tooth, don't you?"

"Oh, shut up. Who doesn't? Sugar's in everything." He paused for a minute. "So... How about you? You doing ok?"

"Oh yeah, I just binged on pizza. So... You cook?"

"Well... Yeah. It's hard at first, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. I've... Had a lot of practice with that."

"Oh? When did you start?"

He paused, as if thinking back. "I think... A little over a year ago, when she first came to live with us. We got in a fight over something... I don't remember what. But I felt bad, so I tried to make her apology brownies. I made the rookie mistake of doubling the temperature and halving the time... They didn't turn out well. Luckily, she still accepted the apology, and now... I'm usually the one that makes dinner."

"Wait, really?" I asked. "Not... Y'know, your dad?"

Everything stopped for a few seconds. "... I... He, um... Well... I like to."

"Oh... Why?"

He sighed. "It's... Meditative, I guess. Calming. But... The best part is that you get to let someone know you care about them in a really physical, tangible way. A way that's... Hard to dismiss, hard to doubt. You can just say it, over and over again, but... You'll never really know if they believe it. And sometimes, it's hard to say it. Sometimes, it's hard to be so... Sincere with people. So open. Sometimes, it's easier to just... Silently, subtly let them know that... Y'know, that you want them to be taken care of. And that you're willing to be the one to do it." He sighed again. "I know, I know, I'm a sap. Just don't tell anyone."

"I won't." I yawned. "Hey... Nico?"

"Mhh... Yeah?" He breathed out, barely audible.

"... Thanks. For everything." I closed my eyes, not finding the energy to hang up. Apparently, he had fallen asleep too, because I didn't hear him hang up either.

Damn, it's hard not to fall in love with someone like that.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

Weeks passed, and soon, I woke up on an early October morning to pouring rain outside my window. To say it'd been raining like cats and dogs these past few days was an understatement. More like lions and dire wolves. The sound made me have to take a leak, so I went to the bathroom and relieved myself, only to look over and find something odd on the bathroom counter while washing my hands.

A pregnancy test.

A... Positive pregnancy test.

I tried to ignore it when we sat down for breakfast, but... It was just too awkward. I had to bring it up. "So... I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom."

"Was it... Positive?"

"Uhh... Yeah."

"... Shit." Her fingers started combing through her hair again, and her breaths started getting shaky. "Ok... Ok, stay calm..." She told herself. "Shit, shit, shit! What do I do?"

My mouth hang open like a door with broken hinges. I'd never heard her curse before, she must be really upset. "Woah, hey... What's got you so freaked out?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm pregnant, that's what's freaking me out! I..." She stopped. "... Sorry for snapping at you like that, honey. I know you're just worried, I... I'm sorry." She paused for a moment. "... I... What do I do? Should I tell him? Should I get an abortion and pretend this never happened? No... I can't do that, it wouldn't be fair for him not to know. I have to tell him at some point, and we'll discuss this like adults. I just... A baby? This soon? I mean, we've only been offline for like, two months! I know, I know, I should've used protection, but... I'm almost 40! I didn't think something like this could still happen to me!" She didn't seem to be talking to me anymore, more to herself. "What if he runs away like last time? I can't go through this alone, not again..." She looked up at me, before letting out a long, heavy sigh. "Ok... It's ok. It's gonna be ok." She told herself. "It's gonna be ok... Everything's gonna be ok." Her voice was a little bit shaky, but she was clearly trying to keep her composure.

For my sake, probably.

I felt a little guilty, knowing that she's putting on a front for me. But she's got a therapist, she's got a place to openly freak out. She'll be ok.

Mostly I just felt useless. I wish I could... Erase it somehow. All her pent-up anxiety. But I can't. The most I could do at that moment was give her hand a squeeze. "... Yeah. It will be."

She smiled. "Thank you, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you... Annabeth's quite the lucky girl."

I blushed a little. "Mooom..." I whined.

"Alrighty." She seemed to calm down quite a bit. "Now, I'm gonna go get ready for work. You have a good day at school, ok?"

I sighed. "Alright. You too, mom."

-

Not gonna lie, it was pretty awkward facing Paul that morning. But otherwise, it was a pretty normal day. At least... Until lunch.

When I sat down next to Annabeth, I noticed that her hair wasn't in its usual braided style, but slicked back and tied into a big, puffy ponytail. I also noticed that ponytail was streaked with silver, matching her eyes. "Woah, didn't realize I was dating an old lady." I joked. "You look like Frankenstein's Bride."

She glared at me, and for a split second, I wondered if I would make it home for dinner. "Not in the mood, Perce."

"What happened?"

She sighed. "Nothing."

"She had a mental breakdown." Piper supplied. "She called me up, at two in the fucking morning Saturday night, and she was sobbing her eyes out because she failed a test, you guessed it, in French. So I did what any good friend would do, went over to her place to have a little sleepover. I even made a pit stop for snacks and hair dye."

"Hair dye?"

"Uh, duh! That's what us girls do when we flip out, we screw around with our hair! Cut it, shave it, dye it over the bathroom sink. And doing it with other girls is the ultimate sign of friendship and trust."

I cracked a smile. "Never knew that. My mom never did that."

Annabeth spoke up. "Maybe she's worried you won't recognize her." She jabbed.

I rolled my eyes. "Very funny, Annie."

Piper, however, was cracking up. "It was, actually. Anywho... I actually did it too, in solidarity." She held up her hair to reveal the underside was dyed a bright sky blue. "And she finally caved and let me tutor her."

"This better work." Annabeth piped up.

Jason seemed a little anxious, and I shot him a look.

He returned it. "Um... Can we maybe talk later? Leo's coming over."

"Oh, uh... Ok."

-

Once lunch ended and gym was about to begin, he stepped into a corner of the locker room with me. "Ok... Normally, I wouldn't tell anyone this. But you're my best friend, and I trust you, and it's important. Piper and I... We, um..." He took a deep breath. "... We're not... Actually together."

I shook my head. "... What?"

"We just... Look, we're both wealthy, and popular, and attractive-"

"Ok, you don't have to rub it in-"

"So everyone was expecting us to date each other, and we figured... Hey, why not just give the people what they want? But the fact of the matter is... We're not attracted to each other. In the slightest."

"Wow... Rude."

"No, it's... We're both gay."

Stunned silence was all I could come up with. Until I realized where I was. "... Well, this is a pretty awkward place to say that. What with us all being in our tighty-whities."

He sighed. "Don't... Don't be weird about it. Please don't be weird about it."

"No, no I just... I didn't expect that. You just... Don't seem like the type." I laughed. "Then again, neither do I."

He tilted his head. "Excuse me?"

I felt my eyes widen in shock, like a small animal faced with the wrong end of a hunting rifle. "I... Well, I... I think... I might be... Bisexual." Well, my my voice got quieter and quieter with every pause, so by the time I got around to that last word, it came out more like 'baseshul'. But I'm sure he understood what I meant.

"Oh. Cool... Have you told anyone else?"

I shook my head. "It's not like I think she's gonna stop loving me or anything. I just... Haven't found a good time to tell her."

"Your girlfriend?"

"No... My mom. As for Annabeth, I don't think I'll ever tell her."

His brows furrowed in concern. "Why not?"

I shrug. "... I don't want her to think I'm... More likely to cheat."

"Oh, dude. No."

"Well, it would make sense to her, right? in her weird math-brain? Y'know, double the options, double the odds. But I never would, not in a million years." I tell myself. Though, with my growing attraction towards Nico, even I wasn't so sure. And I hated myself for that. I hated that not even my genuine love and respect for her was enough to keep these feelings at bay. Maybe I really would cheat on her. Maybe I already am. She thinks I'm hers, totally and completely. But... There's a small piece of my heart that's held by another. And that piece keeps growing, day by day, minute by minute. One day, it could get to a point where I'm not hers at all, I just pretend to be out of some sense of obligation to her. She deserves better than that. Why can't I stop feeding my desires, why can't I just ignore them until they wither and die? I'm a horrible boyfriend. Maybe I should just break up with her right now, save her the betrayal. She's been betrayed too much already. But I won't, I can't. Because I'm also a coward.

He snapped his fingers in front of me. "Hello? Earth to Percy?"

"Agh!" I snapped out of my spiraling thoughts. "Oh, hey. Anyway, yeah. I can keep your secret for you. No problem."

"No, that's not my point. Look... Piper's getting really close to your girlfriend. And... She's really attractive. And she's told me, point blank, that she likes her. I'm not saying anything about Annabeth. But... I'm a little worried about how this is gonna go down. So I'm giving you a warning beforehand, things might get a little... Sticky, between the two of them."

I cracked up at his choice of words.

"Oh, for Pete's sake! Get your mind out of the gutter, would you?"

I sighed, stifling a laugh. "Ok, ok. Well... Thanks." I turned back and slipped on my gym clothes.

I kind of wished I knew French. Just so I could be the one she called, instead of Piper. As it is... I'm dead weight, essentially. I can't help her. Not the way she's helped me.

I shook the thoughts out of my head. "Ready to race?" I asked. "You better run like the wind, because I've been gearing up to leave you in the dust."

"In your dreams, Jackson. I don't give up that easy."

-

Nico's POV)

When I sat down for lunch, I noticed Leo was already at the table. And... He wasn't looking too hot. He was unusually quiet, kind of spacey too. When I sat down next to him, he didn't react. I nudged him a little, and he jumped. "Oh, hey! How's ya... How... How's it hangin'...?" He slurred out.

"Um... Ok, I guess. Are you alright?" I asked, pushing my tray towards him.

He picked up the fork and started stabbing at his food. "Yeah. Why?"

I chewed my lip. He usually has such a big appetite. "You just... Seem really tired."

"Oh, yeah don't worry about it. It's... Fine." He shoved some mashed potatoes into his mouth. "Don't worry about it."

"You said that twice."

He shrugged. "Because you shouldn't."

A few minutes later, he suddenly stood up to go to the bathroom. Something nagged at me to follow him... "... Dude? Are you even listening to me?" Percy asked. "I was asking you a question."

"Oh, sorry. What was it?"

"Favorite movie?"

I shrugged. "I dunno... Maybe that one you showed us at your birthday party? It... Looked really cool."

"Wait, really? I was a little worried that you all would... I don't know. Think I'm weird. Well," He turned to Annabeth. "I wasn't worried about you." He kissed her on the lips.

I felt a pang of jealousy in my heart. Not just for him, but... For a love like theirs. They always seem so affectionate, so in sync, so... Perfect for each other. I'd give anything to have that. I guess the word pang is rather apt, then. My heart, just like a stomach, had been empty far too long, and though it still demanded, angrily, to be filled, it had begun to shrink, so less and less would be able to satisfy it. But nobody could, nobody would. Even Hazel was on bad terms with me at the moment, at least from the standards of our usual relationship. She barely spends any time with me anymore. I'm alone.

I stood up to head to the bathroom, unable to watch another second of this. I had to find Leo anyway.

And I did find him... Writing on the wall in orange sharpie. Looking closer, I could see it was a phone number, and he had prefaced it with 'for a good time call'. "Uh... Leo?"

"Yeah?"

"Whose number is that?" I asked.

He smiled. "Mine."

I wordlessly raised a brow.

He laughed nervously. "As a jooooke, obviously. Guys are gonna call me, expecting some hot chick with a hot voice, and then they get me! King of the dorks."

I sighed, looking down to find... "... Is that... Vomit? In the urinal?"

"Also mine."

I thought for a moment. He was spacey, nauseous, slurring his words... "Leo, are you drunk or something?"

He stumbled over to me. "Drunk, me? Nooo..." His eyes rolled in the back of his head, and he collapsed onto the floor. Well, he would've, if I hadn't been around to catch him. I wrapped my arms around him, his face in my chest, which felt... Strangely warm. I pulled one of my hands up to feel his forehead. Oh... Well, I guess he really isn't drunk.

I hoisted him up onto myself and carried him to the nurse's office.

-

After finishing Mr. Brunner's class, my last class of the day, I tried to hurry over to Leo. "Woah, hey. What's got you in such a hurry?" Percy asked. "Why not stay and chat?"

I sighed. "I'd love to, really. But... I should go check on Leo."

"Oh... Oh, yeah! I meant to ask you about that. Neither one of you came back to lunch after that. What happened?"

"Well... He's in the nurse's office. And by the time that I got back, lunch was over."

He laughed. "Slowpoke."

"Oh, shut up."

He seemed to realize something. "... Oh shit, you never ended up eating what I packed for you!"

I blushed a little. "Yeah... It's fine. I'll be ok."

"You sure? Because I can pull it out-"

"No, don't bother. I really should be going to the nurse. It was nice bumping into you, though."

He groaned. "So, I guess I'm all on my own for my homework this time, then?"

I rolled my eyes. "Why are you using me for that anyway? Your girlfriend's probably in MENSA."

"I.Q Doesn't count for shit, and I'm swamped enough already!" She objected. "I'm in so many honors classes, AP, all that. I don't have the time, nor the energy, to help him out. Sorry about it."

"Ok, ok, I get the point. Anyhow... I really do have to leave." I sprinted off to the nurse's office to find him laying down in a cot, out like a light. I turned to Nurse Solace. "... So, anything new?"

"His temperature's at 101. He's been coughing a lot, for the little time he's been awake. Between this and how you found him, I think it's safe to say he's got the flu. So, I gave him some Pepto and Tylenol, hopefully he'll be well enough to come to school again by tomorrow."

I hissed through my teeth. "Yikes... Poor guy."

She shook her head. "It's a shame, really."

"Well... What do we do?" I asked, sitting on his bed.

I heard him whine below me. "Mhh... What's going on...?" He sat up on the bed. "Oh, right. Nurse."

She walked over there. "Alright, sugar. Let's just wait for your friend to leave, and then I'll ask you some questions, ok?" She looked pointedly at me. "Give us some privacy, would'ja?" She asked.

I stood up. "Right, of course." I went to wait in the hall and closed the door behind me, staring at the clock. I'm not sure why she kept asking those questions, really. Surely, she must know that they're not always being answered honestly. The kids who have the problems she's looking for, they don't tell just anyone. They hide it, they deny it, they're ashamed of it. They shouldn't be, but they are. Then again, she probably has to, for her job. And besides, she's at least giving them the option to be honest, to tell their story. It just sucks that this is a requirement in the first place, that these horrible situations are so common. It's not right. I understand children being cruel to other children, and I understand adults being cruel to other adults. I don't like it, but I understand it. But I'll never understand adults being cruel to children. And I don't want to.

Soon enough, the door opened, and Leo walked out. "Hiiii..." He trailed off. "... How you doin?"

"I'm not the one that passed out in the bathroom." I remind him.

"Hey, I'm just being polite..." He slurred. "... Hope you didn't get plunged into a pit of depression by the comedy void I left behind."

I rolled my eyes. "I was fine. I was worried about you, but... y'know. I was fine. Do you want me to walk you home?" I asked. There was at least one upside to Hazel becoming distant, though I wished she knew what she was getting into every time she took a ride with Frank's dad. But no, Clarisse has made it very clear that I'm not to tell anyone about her father, and I don't want to get on her bad side.

"Let's just walk around for a bit, huh?" His mouth adopted a crooked smile.

"Normally, I'd only decline because I don't like people in general, but... Seriously? You just got out of the nurse's office and you don't just wanna go straight home? You've got the flu."

He shrugged. "I like hanging out with you."

I sighed. "Well, we can hang out when you're well. For now, you need bed rest, pronto."

"Can we at least stop and get food on the way?" He pouted. "Pleeeeeaaasssseee?"

"Ok, ok." I caved in.

"Yay!" He leaned on me as I walked him out of the building. Normally, I would object to this. Only Hazel gets to touch me, unless under extreme circumstances. But Leo was notorious for breaking that rule, so often that I gave up on trying to enforce it. I opened the umbrella I had carried with me, since it had been raining so much these past few days, and realized that he didn't bring one. He didn't have on a raincoat either, not even a jacket, even though it had gotten pretty cold too. No wonder he'd gotten sick.

-

As soon as he sat down, he folded his arms on the table and put his head down. "Ugh... Walking... Walking sucks."

Despite the situation, I actually laughed. "You can say that again." I went silent, waiting for our server to come to our table. Eventually, she did, and I was surprised to find that I knew her already. "... Clarisse?"

"No, I'm the goddamn tooth fairy." She sassed back. "Alright, order?"

I shook him. "Leo, what do you want?"

He woke up with a start, before looking up at Clarisse, his eyes widening in fear. "Oh shit, what are you doing here?"

"I work here, shithead."

"Be nice." I scolded. "Now, it was your idea to come here. What do you want?"

He groaned. "Um... Let's just start out with some curly fries. Do you have curly fries?"

"Yeah, sure. Do you just want that for yourself, or do you two wanna split it?"

"If I say split, does that mean more fries?"

She sighed. "Yeah."

"Then yes."

She nodded. "You done?"

"Um, you should probably get a drink." I suggested.

He laughed. "Thanks, almost forgot about that. Y'all got root beer, right?"

Clarisse seemed just as surprised as I was, to hear him say 'y'all'. "Uh... Yeah. Ok, is that it?"

"Yep. Onward!" He laughed, before looking back to me, grinning like a pothead. "... Your hair's sticking up, it looks like you've got little baby bat wings on your head~" He teased.

I scoffed. "Oh, shut up."

"What's got your panties in a twist?" He asked innocently. "Was I interrupting your brooding, oh lord of darkness?"

"Again, I reiterate: Shut up." I sighed, going silent as I got lost in thought. "... Right, so after this, I'm taking you home, right?" I checked.

He thought about it for a bit. "Uh... No."

My head tilted in confusion. "Why not?" I asked.

He crossed his arms against his chest. "I uh... I don't exactly..." He sighed.

"What? What is it?"

"... I don't have one." He admitted. "There, you happy?"

I stared at him, shocked, and yet... Well, it all makes a lot more sense now, doesn't it? "... No, why would I be happy about that? I..." I sighed. "Ok, I can't, in good conscience, let you fend for yourself. Not now that I... Know about you."

"It's not a big deal." He insisted, coughing a little. "... Really. I've been on my own for a few years now, I can figure it out."

I looked over at him, this sickly, scrawny teenage boy. How many years, exactly? How young was he when he was first robbed by fate of a family, or worse, rejected, cast out into the street? Had nobody thought to take him in? Or had he not trusted them enough, thanks to some painful memory?

"Oh, don't look at me like that." He complained, shaking me out of my thoughts. "Your pity's not gonna help."

"It's not pity, it's-" Our conversation got interrupted by Clarisse setting down his drink and fries. As he started shoveling them into his mouth, I looked up at her, noticing one arm had stayed limp at her side the entire time I saw her today. "Hey... What happened?"

Her face scrunched in confusion, maybe a little offense. "What do you mean what happened?"

"You... Your arm." I vaguely explained.

Her expression softened just a bit. "Oh, that... I dunno. Broken, probably. Just... Stay out of it, would you? I told you before, I don't need you to be my fucking white knight."

I sighed, disappointed. "Fine, have it your way." I turned back to Leo, who was ignoring me, having eaten about half of the basket already and was still going strong. "... Look, you've helped me. You may not think you have, but... You have. When I first met you, I'd never met anyone that wasn't christian before. You're the only reason I had the courage to... If I had never met you, I'd still be a catholic, even though it was really hurting me. Because I wouldn't think I had any other option." I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. "... But more than that, I just... Wanna help you out. Because... You're my best friend."

He looked up, a curly fry hanging fro his mouth. "... Really?"

I blushed a little, embarrassed that I'd just admitted something like that out loud. "... Really. For so long, you were the only friend I had. I missed you so much when you left. And when you came back... I mean, most people avoid me, but you... You sought me out. So just let me do this one thing."

"That's sweet, but really, it's... Ok. Don't worry about it, I can take care of myself."

Saddened, I hesitantly put my hand on his. "Don't be like that, Leo. I..." I sighed. "... I care about you."

He smiled. "... Well, where'd you take me?"

I shrugged. "A hospital, I guess."

His smile melted off his face. "... No. I can't do that. I... No. They'll put me in foster care, I can't do that again."

"Again?"

He sucked in a shaky breath, standing up abruptly. "... I'm sorry." He turned to leave. "I've already said too much."

I stood with him. "Wait..." I reached a hand out. "... I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but... At least take this." I handed him my umbrella and a 20 dollar bill. "Good luck. I... I wish you'd let me take care of you..."

He gave me one of his lopsided smiles. "You already have, querido." And with that, he left. I paid for his fries, and gave Clarisse a sizable tip too, before heading home.

-

"Hey... You're late." Hazel noticed. "And soaking wet, what happened?"

I shrugged. "Lost my umbrella." I lied. "I'll have to go get it tomorrow."

"Oh... Well, you could borrow mine if you want-"

"No, no, that's ok. I'll be ok... You had dinner, right?"

"Yeah, I just got some pop tarts."

"That's not a meal, Hazel."

"Oh, you're one to talk." She sassed back. "... I'll be in my room, talking to my friends. Ok?"

I sighed. "... Ok. I'll be in mine."

I trudged back up to my room and changed into some dry clothes, hanging up my jacket to dry. It's barely stitched together at this point...

After laying down in bed, I pulled out my phone, and the number I had asked for months ago. Well.. Here goes nothing.

I dialed the number, but...

Hey, loser. If you're hearing this, it means I don't wanna talk to you. So don't bother leaving a message at the beep, or do. I don't care. I'm probably just gonna delete it. *beep*

I sighed. "... Hey, Clarisse? It's... It's Nico. I was just calling to try and find out if you had gone to the hospital or anything. I'm not trying to be your white knight or whatever, I just... Want you to be safe. And I want your brother to be safe too. And if there's anything I can do to help..."

I was painfully aware of how desperate I sounded, and hung up before I could finish my sentence. But I couldn't help it. I have this... Emptiness now. In my heart, in my time, in my life. She used to fill it, all my time, all my energy, it used to be set aside for her. For taking care of her, keeping her company. But now, she's got other people to rely on. Her friends, her boyfriend. And I know it's for the best, she'd be lonely if she only had me, but it still... Hurts. It hurts to know she doesn't need me anymore. That nobody needs me. Well... That's not entirely true. Leo needs me, Clarisse needs me, but they're still pushing me away, and I hate it. I feel frustrated, and anxious, but most of all... Useless.

They all hate me. Everyone hates me. They may not look like it, but secretly, they do. That's why they refuse my help, even when they clearly need it. And who wouldn't? I was just a freak. What did I expect? For everyone to accept me, to like me? I'm not owed anyone's acceptance, nobody's obligated to like me!

I don't even like me.

As I stared up at the ceiling, lost in the twisting labyrinth that was my mind, I wanted to cry. But I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me.

Chapter Text

Surprise! Leo's POV)

As I walked the familiar streets of New York, I was left alone with my thoughts, clutching the umbrella in my hand, which still didn't shield me from the stinging cold. Even the rain was somehow able to sneak up under it, everything from the waist down was drenched in freezing rain. At least he tried to help, I thought, shivering. How am I so cold and so hot at the same time?

One of my hands shoved in my pocket against my phone.

Maybe I should call him, take him up on his offer. He seems nice, maybe he'd let me stay forever... I'd like that. I'd like to stay somewhere, forever.

But what if I wear out my welcome? Just like I have with everyone else? Surely, if he knew how many times I was sent back, he'd have second thoughts too. There was something wrong with me. There had to be, why else couldn't I find anyone who could put up with me for more than a few months? Why did I spend so long between families, in foster homes or boot camps, even juvie one year, or just on the run? Mostly that last one... Why else would I only be good for a laugh or a quick fuck? Why else would Theresa-...

I stopped myself and looked around.

Somehow, I wound up on the rich side of town, right as the sun was starting to come up. I was exhausted, but I couldn't miss school. Any chance I got to eat for free, I couldn't afford to turn down. I should've saved some of those curly fries for later, not just gorged them all at once... But I couldn't help myself, I hadn't eaten all through that weekend, and I threw up my lunch before it could even start getting digested. Anything I ate now would meet the same fate anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Well, I'd throw up either way. I feel like throwing up now. So I may as well ease my pain for a little bit. My hand closed around the money in my pocket. Maybe...

... No. I better not. I need to save this, especially now that I'm so close to my next meal. I could wait it out. It would be hell, but I could do it. I've done it before.

Eventually, I started to feel dizzy, and weak, and I had to stop for a while. I found a house with a porch, and walked up the stairs, the wind still ripping through my shirt, and sat on the floor, watching the storm. Stay awake, Leo... Stay awake... You're so close, stay awake... Just until the bus comes, you can take the bus and then fall asleep on the bus, just... Stay... Awake... Oh god... I'm so tired... Can't... Think... Straight...

I relented and curled up on the welcome mat, falling asleep almost immediately, despite how cold and wet and utterly miserable I was.

-

When I woke up... I was warm. I felt something soft, I assume a blanket, wrapped tightly around my body like a cocoon. I felt a cool hand resting against my forehead, and heard a soft, anxious groan, I assume from the owner of the hand. When I opened my eyes, I felt something I don't think I'd ever felt before. Something... I'm not even sure how to describe. Because they were met with the icy blue irises of Jason fucking Grace.

"... Dios mio..." I breathed out. He was... Breathtaking. Even now, as his hair fell in his face, his glasses crooked.

He smiled, making me notice the scar on his lip. "Leo, you're awake... You're burning up." His smile faded, his brows knitted in worry. "What happened? Why did you show up at my door?"

"Slow down, Jase." I whined, laughing weakly, though it turned into a coughing fit. I hated this, I hated feeling so... Drained. So pathetic.

He tenderly ran his fingers through my hair, a gesture that made the wires in my brain short-circuit. "Ok, ok. I'll lay off for now." His voice was soft and soothing. "Do you need help sitting up?"

Normally, to admit something like that would feel like pulling teeth. But something about him compelled me to silently nod. A little shame still flared up in me at being incapable of such a simple thing, but as his strong arms wrapped gently around my body, I felt it dissipate into nothing.

He sighed and gave me some sweatpants and a sweater, then left for the bathroom. I changed as quickly as I could with my aching muscles, but when I was done, I felt dizzy again... And nauseous. I grabbed the trash can beside me and hurled up the acid churning in my stomach. Out of he corner of my eye, I watched him step back in the bathroom before coming back out with a bottle of Pepto. He handed me a pill. "This is for your fever."

"What? Trying to smother the flames of love~?" I joked. There I am, back at it again.

He rolled his eyes. "Just take it before your brain starts melting out of your ears."

"Fine..." I took the pill into my mouth and drank some of the water he set next to me. Next, I watched him pour out a portion of pink liquid and whined. "Do I have to?"

"If you want to eat dinner without throwing it back up five minutes later, yes."

Just then, my stomach let out a growl. I groaned, but knocked it back. "Ugh... At least it smelled nice."

He messed up my hair. "Good. I'll go get you some soup, ok?"

I smiled a bit, feeling myself blush. "Ok."

I watched him leave, giving me one last worried glance before shutting the door behind him.

-

Jason's POV! Wow I really am on a roll with the unconventional POVs here huh?)

As soon as I closed the door, I noticed my stepmother glowering at me in disapproval. "I can't believe you let him in. You don't know where he's been!"

I scoffed. "He's not some wild animal, y'know. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm getting him some dinner." I walked off and went to the kitchen, grabbing a bowl. I was so confused, I wanted him to tell me everything. But... That could wait. I ladled some out of the pot carried it back to Leo, who didn't even bother with the spoon, just drank it out of the bowl like it was a cup.

As I sat next to him on the bed, he looked up at me in admiration, brown eyes half-lidded. "... You're so good to me." He cooed, before unleashing another coughing fit, making my heart feel like it got locked in an Iron Maiden.

"You're not gonna like me for much longer." I teased, picking up the nyquil and shaking it up.

"Oh come on! Again?"

"Again." I poured out a dose and gave it to him. "It's the last one, I promise."

He huffed, but drank it too, shuddering as he did, reaching for the water on the nightstand and chugging it all. "I hate you."

"Of course you do." I gently pushed him back down into a laying position. "Alright, now don't you dare leave that bed. Unless you have to go to the toilet or something, but that's it."

He wordlessly whined in response, his eyes squeezed shut. He looked so sad like this, so helpless. I tried to stand up, but he wrapped his arms around my waist. "No..." He protested, clinging to me. I sighed and shifted my position so that I had my back against the headboard, letting him use me as his own personal teddy bear. He needed some comfort right now. Plus... It felt really nice to be in bed with him. To have his arms around me, his body curled up against mine, his head resting gently on my lap, using my thighs as a pillow. My fingers combed through his hair, and I felt so... Warm. I wanted to protect him, nurse him, dote on him.

I have a reputation for that, y'know. I've always been known as the mom friend, which is ironic, because I've had three mother figures in my life, and none of them were... Well, perfect. The best one was my big sister Thalia, and she ran away from home when I still needed her. I don't blame her for that, there's no way I could withstand everything she went through. And she did tell me she wished she could take me with her, but I was too little to make it out there, and it's safer for me if I stay home. I just... Miss her. I wonder where she is right now, how she's doing.

Hera's not too bad, she meets my physical needs at least, and isn't intentionally mean. But she's so wrapped up in this fantasy of being the perfect 50's housewife that she doesn't actually try to connect with me. She mostly just cares about making me her prodigy, her golden child. Her... Champion. I play football because she wanted me to, I get perfect grades because of all the pressure she puts on me. She never approves of any of my friends, doesn't even give them a chance. And if she knew I was gay... Well, to be honest, I'm not sure.

And then... There was Beryl. Beryl Grace, Beryl 'who would consider casting me now' Grace, Beryl 'I used to be beautiful' Grace, Beryl 'you ruined me, Jason' Grace.

We don't talk about her.

So maybe I'm trying to make up for my own childhood, making sure everyone's taken care of, that everyone's safe, that everyone's loved. Maybe it's because I didn't have the mother I needed that I ended up becoming one. But... I didn't feel the same way about him as I did with everyone else. He was... Special. Maybe he was just extra sad, and that's why he made me feel... I'm not sure how he made me feel.

I must've stayed like this for hours, just admiring him. He talks in his sleep, I noticed, and in Spanish too, so I couldn't understand him. Most of it seemed light and nonsensical enough, he even started laughing at some points. But... Then he gripped me tighter, whimpering. "No... Para, por favor, lo siento... No me hagas daño..." His breathing sped up, and I felt his fingernails through my sweater.

"Shhh, hush... It's ok. I'm right here. Nothing's gonna get you." I started stroking his hair. "It's ok, you're safe."

"Mh... Mama?" He muttered, his voice soft and cautious. "... Te amo, mama. Te extraño..." When he opened his eyes and looked up at me, his eyes started to shine with tears, but he wiped them away and sat up, using my body for extra support. "... Hey." His head leaned on my shoulder.

"Hey..." I snaked an arm around his waist. "... Are you alright?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, just disappointed is all. It's... Nothing I'm not used to." He drew his knees up to his chest. "It just... Sucks to know that all of that... It really did happen. I wish it was all just a bad dream, and that at any moment, I could pinch myself, and I'd wake up." He burrowed closer to me, pulling the blanket over us. "But... Then, you wouldn't be real either. And I like that you're real. I like that you're... Here."

My head tilted to the side. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Hmm?"

"... What do you wish was all a dream? Why did you show up at my doorstep? What's going on?" I didn't mean to overwhelm him, but the questions just flew out of me before I could stop them.

He shook his head. "I can't. You'd..." He went silent, for a long time, and then sighed. "... I... I've been on my own. For... A long time."

"What do you...?" I suddenly realized what he meant, and I felt my heart begin to crack. "... Oh." My arm wrapped around his waist, his tiny waist. "Oh Leo... Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you out, y'know. Made sure you were cared for. If I'd just known-"

"What? You'd call the cops or something, and they'd ship me off with some random family, and then I'd get sent back or run away first. I'm not letting you do that to me."

"Hey, hey, slow down. I'm not gonna call anyone if you don't want me to, ok? I just... I could've let you crash here. Or gotten you set up in one of dad's hotels. Something, anything but... This." I squeezed a little. "How are you so certain?"

He shrugged. "It's happened before. A lot... I don't even bother counting. But hey, Marylin Monroe was in like, eleven. And look at how she turned out, she's a sex symbol."

"She also never made it past 40." I pointed out, wriggling my arm free so I could pour him another dose of Nyquil. "Here, take this." He knocked it back, and I handed him my water bottle, which he drank from before handing back to me. "Now go back to sleep."

"... I don't wanna. What if that happens again?"

"Then I'll help you again."

He smiled, laying down. "... Why do you care so much anyway?" How long have you been up?"

I shrugged and took my glasses off, setting them on the nightstand before laying down with him. "... I don't know." I admitted, closing my eyes. "But I do. So stay with me. Please?"

He sighed. "... Ok." His eyes slid closed, and he drifted off to sleep.

As my arms enveloped the smaller boy, I took note of how warm he'd become. One of his hands slid over my shoulder, making the muscles underneath relax. I hadn't even realized how tense they were until he did that.

I slid my eyes open, to admire the blurry boy at the end of my nose, and a realization hit me like a brick to the face.

I'm in love.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

I woke up like usual, showered, got dressed, walked out to the kitchen for breakfast... Only to find myself alone. That's weird. Normally, she's up earlier than I am, in time to make breakfast and all. I poured myself some cereal, a little disappointed, but... I can take care of myself.

Once I was done eating, I threw the dishes in the sink, went into her bed, and gently shook her awake. "Mom? Are you alright?"

She woke up with a start, sitting up on the bed. "Oh, hi! Yeah, I'm ok. Why?"

"You, uh... You're usually up a lot earlier than this. Are you sick or something?"

"Oh, honey, no I'm ok... I was just up a lot later than usual last night."

"It's ok, what were you doing?" I asked. "Working on your book?"

She shrugged. "Yeah. Well, that and talking to Paul."

"Oh..." I bit my lip. "... So... Did you tell him? About... Y'know, yesterday?"

"No." She admitted. "We talked about... Anything and everything else." She stood up. "I'm just so nervous, I don't know how he's gonna take it."

"Yeah... I get that."

She sighed. "... I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For... Dumping all of this on you. These are really adult problems-"

"And I'm an adult." I reminded her.

Her fingers started running through her hair. "I mean... Technically, but... Well, you do still sleep with a stuffed animal. Two, actually." She pointed out. "And that's ok. It's ok if you're not ready to grow up, I don't blame you. It only makes sense that you'd cling to your childhood, considering..."

I sighed. "... Yeah. But that doesn't mean I can't-"

"That's not what I'm saying. All I'm saying is, you shouldn't have to." She opened her arms for a hug, and I gave it to her. "I'm gonna get ready, ok? He's gonna swing by the candy store at lunch, so I ought to try and doll myself up a little."

I retracted my arms from her body. "Ok, ok. Bye." I walked over to the door, but just as I was about to close it, I peeked my head out. "Y'know... If you really don't want to tell him, you don't have to."

"No, I... I do. For his sake, and yours, and my own. I need to be honest with him, about..." She trailed off, seemingly lost in thought as her face adopted a haunted expression, and her hand reached up to stroke her left forearm, the shoulder of which held a portrait of Medusa. "... Everything." Her eyes were blank, mouth screaming in anguish, head tilted up slightly to show the stump of her neck still dripping with red ink while the rest of the tattoo was penned in black, as were the mouths of the snakes she had in place of hair, woven and coiled around the length of her arm, fangs bared, angry and ready to bite.

I sighed, my eyes clued to the carpet under our feet. I remember asking about it one day, and she just said 'my therapist thought it would be good for me'. Even though she was smiling, her eyes looked so sad that I never mentioned it again. "... Everything, huh?"

She bit her lip. "Yeah. Even about things... I haven't even told you. And... That I never will."

I nodded. "... Ok. Good morning, and... Good luck."

Waiting for the elevator, one thought kept reverberating in my mind.

She thinks I don't know. And at the time, I didn't.

But now I do.

I remember hearing them through the wall my room shared with theirs when I was little, she'd fight and scream, but he would overpower her. And as time's arrow marched forward, I could hear her get quieter and quieter. And at the time... I was actually happy for that. Because I thought it meant they stopped fighting, that he stopped being so mean to her.

He didn't.

She just gave up.

I wanted to throw up whenever I thought back to that, but I kept my breakfast, pushed the memory down to the very back of my mind, and stepped in the elevator, the doors now open.

-

When I walked into school, it was actually before classes started, so I was just walking around aimlessly, waiting for the first bell. It was then that I noticed Silena, kneeling at Charlie's tribute and crying her eyes out again, cursing god and begging him to strike her down so they might be together. Just a normal Tuesday morning at Goode high.

At this point, you're probably wondering how I felt about all this. And the truth is... I'm just kind of numb. Like, it doesn't feel real to me. We were friends, and now he's dead, and that's sad, but... I don't know. I wasn't nearly as torn up about it as Silena. Maybe I'm just more used to heartbreak and tragedy than she is, I mean I've lived through things... That most people can't even imagine. And then there's her, rich and famous without a care in the world, as far as I'm aware at least... Well, aside from having that brat, Cupid, for a brother. And then all of a sudden, she was plunged into the deep end of the river of despair. What's it called again? Cockatoos? That can't be right. Point being, this is the literal worst thing that's ever happened to her. Is it any wonder she's so devastated?

Then, there was her sister, Drew, shaking her head. "You really do need to get over him, hon. Look, the homecoming dance is coming up, I'm sure could set you up with someone. You need some kind of rebound to take your mind off of him."

"No!" She screamed. "I don't want my mind to be taken off of him. I don't want him to be so easily replaced."

"Look... I know you think I'm insensitive, but all this moping around isn't gonna bring him back. You need to move on."

"Don't tell me when to move on!" She stood up, jabbing a long, sharp, hot pink nail in her older sister's face. "I'll decide when to move on, not you, not mom, nobody else!"

She sighed. "Fine. But don't come crying to me when you end up alone because you turned down your shot at love."

"He was my shot at love, don't you get it? He was... My soulmate." She fell to her knees again, sniffling.

Just then, the bell rang, and Drew scurried off, leaving her sister alone. Ah, what the hell, I'm sure Paul can wait a few minutes. I kneeled down to her level and gently, tentatively placed my hand on her shoulder. I didn't always know how to comfort people, but... I tried my best. "... She sure is a jerk, huh?"

Her head snapped up, blue eyes rimmed with red, black eyeliner streaking her face. "Oh... Hi, Percy. You knew him?"

I nodded. "We weren't all that close. But... I did." Just saying that made guilt flare up inside of me. Because we should've been closer, I should've gotten to know him better, this should hurt for me like it does for her. But it doesn't. "He... Was a good guy."

"He really was... He had so much potential, y'know. Got a free ride to his first choice. I mean, he was seventeen. He had just graduated."

"... Graduated?" I asked numbly. Wow, I really didn't know anything about him, did I?

She leaned on me a little. "Yeah. They let him skip freshman year... It should've been me!"

"No, Silena, don't think like that."

"But it's true! He was... Everything. Smart, and strong, and sweet... And I'm just the ditz, the klutz, the airhead."

"You're not an airhead. You don't need to be good at school to be smart, ok? So don't feel bad about it when you're not." Shit, I really should listen to my own advice, shouldn't I?

She sighed. "... Well... He fell in love with me for a reason, I guess."

I smiled a little. "Yeah."

She wiped her tears with her wrist, smudging her already ruined eyeliner. "... Maybe she's got a point."

"No she doesn't." I hurried out. "She's just being an insensitive little fucknugget."

She laughed a little, before her face shifted into shock, her sharp blue eyes piercing into mine. "You... Made me laugh. That's... The first time I've laughed since..." The silence was enough to understand.

"I'm... Glad I could help, at least a little."

She nodded. "... Really, though. I don't think he'd wanna see me so miserable."

I shrugged. "That's true... But it doesn't mean you should try and force yourself to be happy either. You need time to move on."

"I know... And I'm trying to give myself that time, even with my sister hounding me. But I need to... Y'know, actually move on. At least... Try to. It's not gonna be easy, but... I think I'm gonna go to the dance. Alone, but... I'll go."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I... I deserve to be happy. And this... Is something that's gonna make me happy." She turned to me. "Thanks... For everything. I don't even think we've been formally introduced, and yet... You've helped me so much more than my own sister. I guess... I just needed someone to listen to me. Really listen. The way... He used to." She started tearing up again, but wiped it away and sighed. "He... Left a hole in my heart, when he died. And I don't know if it's ever gonna get filled. But... At least I can try and build something beautiful around it."

I smiled. "That's a really nice way to look at it, Silena." I helped her stand up, and walked her to class, which was right across the way.

Paul looked over at us. "Oh, hey. You two are a little late."

My face heated up. "Oh, uh-"

"Relax, you're not in trouble. I... I saw everything. And... I'm proud of you." I smiled a little. He reached up to mess up my hair, but for some reason... I flinched away. For a split second, it's like... I forgot where I was. I don't think that's ever happened before.

But the split second was over, and I was stuck looking at his face, confused, concerned, and I felt my own heat up. "Uh... Yeah, thanks, Mist-... Uh... Paul? Da-no. We're not there yet." I laughed nervously, trying to push past the... I don't even know what you'd call that. "... I guess... Sir?"

He sighed. "That'll do, Percy. That'll do."

I hurried over to my desk and sat down, nervously tapping my fingers on the desk. What the shit was that, brain? I'm not the one who recoils from touch. That's my mom. "... Percy?"

My head snapped to my right. "Oh, uh... Hey Nico."

"Are you ok?" He asked, his brown eyes dark and sad, but warm. Like the smoldering remains of firewood that's long since lost its spark, but still strives to share its heat with the outstretched fingers of those huddled around it. I almost wanted to give into that warmth, to tell him what was going on inside my head. The only problem is, I wasn't entirely sure what was going on inside my head.

Shit, how long have I just been staring at him? Focus! You have a girlfriend who you love very much, now answer the question. "Yeah, I'm... I'm fine." I turned away from him, my cheeks burning. "Let's just... Move on."

He nodded, but seemed to know that I wasn't. I tried not to let it bother me.

-

Sally's POV)

When he left the room, I went to my closet and pulled out my uniform, the red and white striped button down, the dark blue denim pants and matching star-spangled apron. But underneath, I slipped on my 'Mother by Choice, For Choice' T-shirt. It was big on me, since I got it while I was pregnant with him, as a way to spite my at-the-time boyfriend. 'No feminist bullshit around my buddies,' he kept whining. 'you're embarrassing me!'

There was a time when I didn't pay him any mind. When I would unabashedly tell him I was only with him to house and feed my baby. There was a time when he didn't scare me.

But... Then he started to scare me.

I let out a shuddering breath, my hand going back up to the tattoo as I slipped it on.

I think he knows. I don't want him to know. I wish he could stay an oblivious child forever, and never be exposed to the cruelty of men. I wish he at least had the chance to be an oblivious child at all, that his childhood innocence hadn't been cut so short.

I remember, he was seven years old, when he asked me what an abortion was.

"Um... Well, do you remember when I told you that you were built inside of my belly, and then you came out? And that's where babies come from?"

He nodded.

"Well... There's a word for when you're building a baby inside of you. It's called being pregnant. But sometimes... People get pregnant when they don't want to. So... They go to a special doctor, and they keep the baby from being built. And that's what an abortion is."

He took a few seconds to process what I was saying, before bursting into tears.

I scooped him up and held him close to me. "Hey, hey, it's ok. I know it seems scary... Most medical stuff does. But it's necessary sometimes, ok?"

That didn't help much. "So... That's what Gabe meant."

I blinked in surprise. "Huh? What did he say?"

"H-he..." He started bawling his eyes out. "... He k-keeps telling me you sh-should've had one!"

Oh, that rat bastard. "Oh, you poor thing..."

"M-maybe he's right."

"No! Oh, sweetie, no..." I hugged him tighter. "No, he's just a big stinky bully that's wrong about everything, ok?"

"But... I'm so loud and clumsy and I can't sit still and... A-and I can't read... And if I was never born, then you wouldn't have to marry him. And momma, he's so mean to you."

I sighed. "He is. But that's not your fault, baby. None of what you said is your fault, and none of it means you shouldn't have been born. I'm so glad you were, no matter what it costs me. It's all worth it. Because I love you more than anything in the world."

He sniffed, having calmed down a little. "... Even candy?"

"Yes, more than all the candy and cookies in the world." I kissed the top of his head. "Even the blue ones."

He wiped his eyes and smiled a little. "That's a lot." His tiny arms tried fruitlessly to reach around my waist, but I appreciated the gesture all the same. "I love you that much too, momma. And I'm happy you kept me."

Although I was smiling, I still felt a lump in my throat. Because in that moment, I knew that no matter how well I shielded my son from his blows, his slaps and kicks and yanks, I could never fully shield him from his words. His vicious, poisonous words, that burrow deep within you and convince you that you deserve it all. Convince you that you're useless, talentless, worthless. That you'd be better off dead.

The most I could do was be his antidote.

I like to think I accomplished that at least. But... I worry sometimes. Even after that talk, he still used to blame himself whenever I got hit. And of course, I did the best I could to nip it in the bud, but maybe he never actually stopped feeling that way. Maybe he just learned not to tell me. After all, he did say he didn't want to 'hold me back from happiness' as recently as August. He needs therapy, I know he does, for more reasons than this. But he doesn't trust most authority figures, which... I can't really blame him for.

I shook myself into the present and finished getting dressed.

-

Finally, lunch rolled around, and I saw Paul walk in... With another woman.

I got off of my stool and went over to greet them. "Hey, Paul, and... This is?"

He set our lunches on a nearby table. "Oh, this is Christine, my sister." He explained, pulling up an extra chair and sitting at it.

She extended a hand, and I took it. "So this is the infamous Sally Jackson you keep rambling on about? It's so nice to finally put a face to a name. So, is this all you do for a living?"

I let go of her hand and sat down on the table. "Oh... Well, for the time being, yes. But I'm actually an aspiring author." I readied myself for the condescension I usually got when I told people that. But... I didn't get it.

Her eyes lit up with opportunity. "Oh, well I actually started my own publishing company! Y'know Zeal Inc, right?"

My jaw dropped. "That's you!?"

"M-hmm. What a cowinkey-dink. So, tell me more." She sat down and unwrapped her sub sandwich. "What genre is it? Children's educational, fantasy, romance, teen dystopian?"

"Oh, none. Murder mystery." I answered. "Why does everyone automatically think I'm doing stuff for kids when I tell them I'm a writer?"

Paul shrugged. "Maybe because you're a mother." He suggested, his mouth already full of sandwich.

"Or because you're a woman." Christine cut in. "And when women choose to have a career, people expect it to be oriented around children. They hear female doctor, they think pediatrician. They hear government job, they think social worker. They hear author... You get the point. Of course, you being a mother doesn't exactly help."

I cleared my throat, trying to ease the tension in the room. 'Doesn't exactly help'? Really? And what do you suggest I do about that? "Anyway... So, for now, the title is 'Scales of Justice', but I have a few others. It's about this detective, Brandy. She's one of the best private detectives in the world, a real Sherlock Holmes type, but a more... Bohemian version. She travels the world, both for work and for pleasure, but one day, she has to go back to the place she grew up: Salt Lake City, Utah. Because she's been brought on the investigation of Earl Garavito's murder, having been promised his place in his mother's will if she solves it. Now, fun fact about his mother, Judith, she's filthy rich. The entire family is, they're like, old money mormon, so quite conservative too."

"This already sounds like a bestseller."

I grinned. "I l know, right? But it gets better. So Judith, she's old and barely remembers anything, but she's convinced it was one of her family members. There are quite a few colorful characters in the family, all with good reason to want him dead, and enough resources at their disposal to make it happen. But eventually, Brandy, with her impeccable powers of deduction, concludes that it was, in fact, Judith! So she has her arrested, taken to court, y'know, yada yada yada, now she's in prison for her twilight years. Seems like an open and shut case, right?"

She nods. "But?"

I bit my lip. "But as it turns out, it was actually the detective herself! See, long ago, years ago, they used to be a married couple, and... He was a drug addict, used to hit her. She tried running away, he caught her and broke her leg. Tried telling the cops, they didn't believe her. As a last resort, she tried telling Judith, not only did she not believe her, she got angry and told her that if she ever spoke out, she would tell the entire family she was cheating on him. That was the day she lost any hope for herself. For years after, she would lay down and let it happen, but one night, something snapped within her. She picked up her pet rattlesnake, Morgan, out of her cage, and got her to bite him while he was sleeping. She covered her tracks well, chopped up his dead body so it could fit into a duffel bag, put it in the trunk and locked it before driving it to a lake, getting out, and pushing it in. She even returned the snake to the pet shop so suspicion wouldn't be aroused, and called him in absent to work, saying he'd gone on a bender and may never return. And now that the case has been quote-unquote 'solved', she's free to settle down, stop running from the truth, because it's never gonna catch up to her."

"Ooh, a twist villain as the protagonist! I like it!"

I had to take a minute to process what she just said. That one little well-meaning comment had me feeling... Deflated. Betrayed, even. "... She's not a villain."

She tilted her head like a confused puppy. "But.. She murdered someone. She's a criminal."

Before I could stop myself, I stood up, my hands slamming flat down on the table. "You have no idea what he had put her through, you have no idea what he was capable of. And the reason she decided to become a detective is so that other women wouldn't be driven to the desperate measures she was, because there would be at least one person among the authorities who believed them, who took them and their situation seriously. She is not a villain, she is a reasonable woman in an unreasonable situation, and she did what she did to protect herself and her son!" That last part slipped out before I could stop it, surprising me.

"Oh, she has a son?" She asked, seemingly unfazed. Then again, she deals with writers on a daily, if not hourly basis, as her job. This is probably nothing compared to the temper tantrums our ilk are capable of.

I sat back down, my face as red as the marinara sauce on my meatball sub, which I hadn't even touched. I just... Don't get it. I'm not the one who has the big emotional outbursts, that's my son. "... Yeah, I mean... I was considering it, but... I didn't know if it was a good idea, so I haven't written it in yet." I lied, finally taking a bite. I lie pretty easily, and come up with them quickly. I have to. But it's actually a pretty good idea now that I think about it. It gives an answer to the question I'd been asking myself for weeks now: What pushed her over the edge? What was her 'come to Jesus' moment, that made her realize murder was her only option? Finding out she's pregnant is one hell of a better reason than 'something snapped inside of her'.

She squealed, snapping me out of my thoughts. "This book really does seem incredible! Hey, maybe we could get a movie adaptation out of this. I wonder if Fox would buy the rights?"

I shrugged. "I dunno, the movies are never as good as the books. And with Fox's reputation..."

She laughed. "Well, either way, I'd love to have my hands on your manuscript. Hold on, I'll write down my E-mail, and when you're ready, send it to me."

I sighed. "Thanks... You do that. But, um... I need to talk to your brother about something." I reached for his hand. "In private."

He seemed surprised. "Oh, uh... Ok."

I herded him to the back and closed the door, sighing.

"Oh, would you look at that? They're in plastic tubs now, as per your suggestion." He commented behind me.

I turned to look at him funny. "What are?"

"The candies. They're not in the glass jars anymore."

I bit my lip. "They never were."

Now it was time for him to look at me funny. "But... You told me..."

"... Well..." I sighed. "... I lied. It wasn't a work accident. It wasn't an accident at all."

He stepped closer to me. "I... I know it's none of my business, but... Does this have anything to do with that assignment from back in August?"

I looked up at him. "What assignment?"

He sighed. "Your son, he... Well, on the first day of school, I had all my students pull one of Shakespeare's plays out of a fishbowl. The point of the exercise was to read whatever you had pulled out, and then try and see how you personally relate to it. I would've let them choose like I usually did, but I also usually just got a bajillion Romeo and Juliets, because teenage hormones, so I wanted to try something different this year. Anyhow, He pulled out Taming of the Shrew, and... Got really intense with it. A lot of students did, one even came out in theirs. I'm not gonna say who, or as what, and I'm not gonna repeat what exactly your son said, since it's kind of personal, but it did make me concerned. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. Because you're not just his mom, you're also... My girlfriend."

I took a minute to process everything he told me. Taming of the Shrew... I've read that before, in college. Tried to read it again, but... It was too upsetting for me to finish. "... Yeah. It has... Something to do with that. As you know, I've been married before. But what you don't know is... Why I'm not anymore."

"Well, go on. Tell me." He nudged. "If you want to, that is."

"... Because he..." I took a deep breath. "... He abused me. Both of us, actually."

His eyes widened. "Oh... Well, that explains a lot."

"Really? That's what you're going with? 'That explains a lot'?"

"I'm sorry! I... Now that I've said it out loud, I realize how dismissive it sounds, but I didn't mean it like that, ok? It's just... I didn't really know what to say, so I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind, and... I'm sorry."

I sighed. "It's fine. I mean, it's not like, fine, but... It's fine. I forgive you. Let's just... Start over."

He cleared his throat. "Right... That's horrible. I genuinely am sorry to hear that happened to you. I... Can't even imagine going through something like that. Do you... Need me to call the police?"

"No." I answered, just a little too quickly. "We've escaped, the police wouldn't do any good."

"But what if he comes back?"

"He's not coming back!" I snapped, making him step away from me. I turned away from him in embarrassment. "Sorry, I just..."

"It's ok. But... Why are you so sure?"

I sat down on the concrete floor. "... You don't have to keep loving me after this. If you're scared of me after I tell you what I did to get my son and I out of there, I don't blame you. And I don't blame you if you want to pack up and never see me again." I looked up at him. "But... Do me one favor at least, if not for my sake, then for Percy's?"

"Yeah?"

"... Don't tell anyone. If this gets out to the wrong people... It could ruin both our lives."

He sat down next to me. "Your secret is safe with me. I swear it on the styx."

I cracked a smile. "You really are a dork." I sighed. "... Percy was twelve. I had gotten home late from work, even later than usual. I always felt bad about staying so long, but... We really needed the overtime money. Anyhow... When I got home..." I felt myself start to shake. This is the first time I've ever told anyone about that night, the first time I really let myself think about it since it happened. My throat began to knot up. "... I saw Gabe strangling him. Before I could even think, I grabbed the gun, the loaded gun he kept on the coffee table, and I shot him in the gut. Oh, he got his hands off my son, alright. He was on the floor, cursing and bleeding and shouting out in pain, but he got his hands off my son. He could've survived, y'know, if I'd taken him to the hospital. But of course, I didn't. I took my son. Poor thing was out like a light, and I had never been more afraid for him in my life than on the drive to the hospital." I realized, by now, that I was crying, and leaned on his shoulder. "... Once he was being treated, I went back there and got everything I could carry with me, and I never went to that house again." He tentatively put a hand on my back, and I tensed up, but let him. Paul would never hurt me. I know that.

He was always so patient with me, so understanding. "Hey... You did the right thing, ok?"

I nodded. "I just... Don't want you to be afraid of me. To think that I could ever... Be violent like that to you."

"Hey, no. I'm not scared of you. Y'know why?" I lifted my head up to meet his eyes, those gorgeous blue-green eyes that I never thought I'd find again, that I was convinced, for so long, that only two people in the whole world had, a father and a son. "Because I would never hurt you, or Percy, the way he has. And I know that's the only way to provoke you to do what you've done again. You're an incredible woman, and you're so brave for trusting me with this, for trusting me at all. I love you, Sally."

I smiled a little, tearing up for a whole new reason now. "I love you too, Paul... Can I get a little kiss?"

"I thought you'd never ask." He pecked me on the lips, making me blush a little. He really did make me feel young again. "So, is that, uh... What you wanted to tell me?"

"Funnily enough, no. Well, one thing, yes. But not the only thing."

"Oh?"

"Yeah..." I put a hand on my belly. "... Y'know that one night, back on the 20th? Well... Turns out, you kinda preggo'd my eggo."

His jaw was on the floor. "I'm sorry, what? How? I mean, you panicked and pushed me off before I could... Y'know." He seemed to realize something. "And... Now I know why."

I nodded, flushing for a moment at the memory of his nails down my back... Scratching at the scars Gabe had left there, when he slammed my back against a picture frame on the wall and shattered it. Why can't I just have one good night? Why does every touch poke at the ghosts of bruises long since faded, long since healed? I shook myself into the present again. "Yeah, well... I guess you've got a leaky faucet, if you'll pardon the visual."

He laughed. I loved making him laugh. "Yeah, guess so."

"Y'know, I didn't think I could get pregnant anymore either. Not since the abortion." I clapped my hand over my mouth. Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit shit sh-

"You've had an abortion?"

"I... Yeah." I admitted. "I have. But I..." I started rubbing my arm again, feeling my eye twitching.

-

"Let's make a baby."

"I thought you hated kids."

"I like them better when they're mine. Now come over here and make a baby with me."

"... No."

"Who said I needed your permission?"

-

I swallowed again. "I really don't wanna think about it." I stood back up. "If I'd known I could still get pregnant, I would've told you a lot sooner, because I would've gotten tested a lot sooner. Look, I wanted to tell you so we could discuss this together. But it's ultimately gonna be my decision, ok?"

"Ok." He answered easily. "Look, if you wanna have another abortion, you go ahead and have another abortion. And if you want, I'll walk you into the clinic, hold your hand, pay for it, whatever you need me to do. And if you wanna have another baby, then... I'll do anything you need me to do for that too. But no matter what you decide... You're not gonna have to go it alone this time. I'm here, ok?"

I smiled. "... Ok." I turned to face him and took his hands, my decision made. "Now let's go back out and finish lunch. After all, I'm eating for two."

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

After waking up and getting dressed, I went to her room and gently shook her. "Hazy... It's time to wake up, dear." Her eyes popped open for a minute before closing again as she stretched awake. "Oh, by the way, today's your dentist appointment. You gotta be there by nine."

She groaned. "Really? Can't you cancel it?" She whined. "I hate the dentist. What if they take my teeth out and sell them on the black market while I'm all hopped up on laughing gas, and then I have to use dentures for the rest of my life?"

I smiled a bit, sitting down next to her. "That probably won't happen, and if it does, we'll sue them for medical malpractice."

"No amount of lawsuit money is gonna un-steal my teeth. I just... I wish they could get their act together, and I didn't have to constantly take care of them. You don't have to do that with your other bones."

"Because your other bones are protected by flesh."

"Yours aren't." She sassed back, sitting up. "... I don't wanna go, Nico." She reiterated, her golden eyes sad and pleading. "Don't make me go."

"You have to. Look, if you need me to come with you, hold your hand, I can come with you."

"Just because I'm taking time off doesn't mean you get to piggyback on it." She teased, making me nostalgic. She sounded so much like Bia sometimes... I really miss her. "Besides, I'll be with Frank. He's driving me there and everything." Snapped me back to the present, and I scolded myself for getting distracted. She then stood and walked over to her vanity table, brushing the tangles out of her messy brunette locks, ranging from dark burnished auburn to shiny brass. She was so beautiful, Frank was lucky to have even laid his eyes on her. To be her boyfriend? He needs to go out and buy a scratch off or something. "... Get out of my room, I'm about to get dressed."

My face heated up. "Alright, alright. Bye." I closed the door between us and sighed, going downstairs to make breakfast for us. Well, for her. I don't tend to eat like I should, and I don't know why. I never had much of an appetite, not since...

Is that normal? I mean, sure, grief does that, but to this extent? Years later?

Well, I'm handling it better than him, anyway. So I'm ok.

Once I had her plate set up, I chugged my coffee, set the mug in the sink, and looked over at dad's TV. Surprisingly enough, he was watching the news, which he almost never did. "Officer LaRue was last seen by his partner, Officer Nicholson, who we've brought on here today to repeat what he's told us back to you."

The man still looked like he was in shock, but took a deep breath. "Right. So, he left me in the car and got out, running straight into the bank, screaming 'I am the law, motherfuckers! I am the goddamn law!' And I knew, even then, he wasn't gonna make it. He was a real hothead, y'know, watched too many Nick Cage movies-"

I sighed and reached for the remote, clicking off the TV. She didn't need to see that kind of news about her boyfriend's dad, especially not so early in the morning. And especially especially not when she's already nervous. But I was glad to see him go down, at least.

Once she ate her breakfast, I walked her out to the street, noticing that the rain seemed to have cleared up, at least for today. It was only then that I actually took in Frank's, or I guess his dad's, car. I wasn't that familiar with cars, but it was a convertible, sleek and sporty and bright red. It looked expensive, almost as expensive as my dad's old black Mercedes. He looked so out of place driving it, with his young, friendly face and unassuming posture. I could even hear the car radio playing some trashy pop song I didn't recognize as he slowed to a stop, waving over to Hazel, watching her slide into the passenger seat before he looked up to me. "Um... hi." He bit his lip, clearly nervous to be around me, which, as horrible as this may sound, felt really good. I liked that I intimidated him, because it meant he would be extra careful to treat her right, and that was the most important thing to me. "U-uh... Do you want a r-ride?"

"Oh, uh... No thanks. That's ok. Hey, where's Clarisse?"

He sighed, his stutter miraculously vanishing as his anxiety was replaced with annoyance. "Left a note saying she was at the hospital. And she took the phone, too."

"Really?" I was actually glad to hear that she had heeded my advice last night, but I didn't let him know that. I don't wanna look like a sadist or anything. "Well... I hope she's doing ok."

He shrugged. "She's tough, I'm sure she will be."

"Yeah, if anything, I'd be worried about the nurses." Hazel chimed in. "Are you sure you don't wanna ride with us? There's enough room."

"I'm sure, you go ahead."

"Ok," She replied. "if you insist."

As I started down the street, though, I started to regret my decision. Even more so as I barely made it to class on time, hurriedly sitting at my desk. After catching my breath for a moment, I looked over to find that Percy wasn't here yet. I shrugged, not thinking much of it. He seems like the type of person to skip first period.

After a few minutes, though, he came in, along with a girl I'd heard people call Silena.

Mr. Blofis looked up from his paperwork to greet them. "Oh, hey. You two are a little late."

"Oh, uh-" Percy stuttered out, before the teacher interrupted him.

"Relax, you're not in trouble. I... I saw everything. And... I'm proud of you." He tried to tussle his hair, but I saw him flinch and back away, like he was afraid of him, causing him to knit his brows in concern.

He shook it off as Silena sat at her desk. "Uh... Yeah, thanks, Mist-... Uh... Paul? Da-no. We're not there yet." He laughed, but I could tell it was forced. "... I guess... Sir?" Huh... So I guess he's a stepfather, then?

He sighed. "That'll do, Percy. That'll do."

I watched him practically sprint to his desk and sit down, tapping his fingers on the desk. I stared at him for a second, concerned, before deciding to speak up. "... Percy?"

His head whipped around to face me. "Oh, uh... Hey Nico."

"Are you ok?" I asked, looking straight into his eyes. To most people, they looked like gentle waves lapping the shore, but not for me. For me, they were a riptide, ready to pull me under any time I get too close. I was already too close, and now I'm completely adrift, drowning and thrashing under the tsunami of emotions he always summoned within me.

He waited so long to answer that I was starting to forget what my question was. "Yeah, I'm... I'm fine." He insisted, but I saw his face grow tinged with red. "Let's just... Move on."

The lie only piqued my concern even more, but I just nodded, not wanting to pry.

-

Frank's POV)

Once I drove away from Nico, I sighed. "... I'm scared, Hazel." I admitted.

"Why?"

"Well... My dad had to leave last night, for work, and he... Hasn't come back yet."

"Oh... Well, that sucks. I... Hope he comes back soon."

"Me too... You wanna know the worst part?" I asked. "The worst part is that my dad and I aren't actually that close. Normally, I don't really care about him that much. But for some reason... I do now. I dunno. I guess it's because he's in danger, and it's like the way he treats me has been erased from my mind. Not literally, I can still remember. But it's... In spite of all that."

"Well... How does he treat you?"

I shrugged. "Not that great, if I'm being honest. I get that his generation is obsessed with the idea of tough love, but he's putting a little too much emphasis on the tough, if you ask me."

"Oh, dear..." I felt her hand on my shoulder, and smiled a little. "... You wanna talk about it?"

I sighed. "... Yeah. Y'know, sometimes I wonder what I'd be like if he had raised me instead of my mom and grandma. I'm really glad that didn't happen, because he's really hard on me. I mean, my self-esteem is already in the toilet, but it would be down in the sewer if I heard the way my own dad talks about me as a little kid. And he's not hard on my sister like that. He doesn't call her a weakling, a disappointment, a disgrace to the bloodline. Because she's exactly like him, and that's all he cares about. And I'm not. I'm not tough, or mean, or even particularly brave. And honestly, I shouldn't care. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't. I just wanna be kind, y'know? My biggest goal in life is to just be a good person. But because of them, and the example they set, I feel..." I sighed, unsure how to put it into words how exactly I felt.

"... Inadequate? She guessed.

I nodded, glad she understood me despite my ineloquence.

She kissed my cheek, making me blush. "... Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think being kind is one of the bravest things a person can do. To look around at all the cruelty of the world, and go against it, it's scary. It... Costs you, it makes you an easy target, but it's the right thing to do, so... You do it." After a while, she sighed. "Sorry, did that make sense?"

"Yeah. that... That makes perfect sense."

"It does?" She asked. "Because sometimes, I'm not even sure if I believe all that."

"Well... I do." I smiled. "... Thanks for that, by the way. Although, I kind of wonder now... If you've ever had to deal with that."

She shrugged. "I guess... Back home, and... Back at my old school, nobody liked me. Looking back, that was obvious, but back then, I thought they did. I thought they were my friends, but... They were just making fun of me, and found it even funnier that I didn't realize it, and that's the only reason they kept me around. Well, that and I would go run errands for them, because again, I thought they were my friends. And that's what you do for friends."

"Jeez... That blows."

"Yeah. If I were someone else, someone weaker, I would've held a grudge, and not just against them. Against... The world at large. But I'm me, and I'm strong. So I did the right thing, forgave and forgot. Well... Not forgot, I'm not sure if I could ever really forget, but y'know what I mean." She sighed. "Sometimes, I wonder if I'm just being a pushover. If I haven't learned to think for myself like I like to think I have, because I am scared. I'm scared that I'll put my trust in the wrong people again. But... What's that saying? It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? It's... Like that."

I nodded in silence, wishing I knew what to say. I rarely know what to say. Sooner than I anticipated, we pulled up at the dentist, I parked my car, and we both stepped out so I could escort her through the doors of the dentist's office.

Unfortunately, she and I came across our, or at least, my least favorite person, that person being Octavian. He didn't seem to hold any personal vendettas against me, but that didn't matter, he insulted me every chance he got all the same. I don't think I've ever heard a kind word fall out of his mouth, and from the description I got from my older sister, I wasn't sure he even knew how to form them. He was just another spoiled rich kid, with the politics of a grisly old man and the looks of an anaemic twelve year old. I still don't think she should've beat him up, nobody deserves to get beat up by Clarisse, but knowing what she heard him say made me feel a little less sorry for him. If she was yelling the truth, anyway. She's not known to lie, but you never really know anymore.

And even more unfortunately, he saw me, dull blue eyes locking onto mine, a malicious smile forming on his face. "Why hello there, Mr. Staypuft." Well, at least it was fresh.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not bothering with displaying my offense.

"Bring your kid to work day." He explained.

At that, a cranky old man spoke up. "You're not my kid, you're my ward. Get it right."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever..." They then darted over to Hazel. "Oh, why hello there."

She tensed up. "Leave me alone." She pleaded, seeming to know it was futile.

He smirked. "Now why on earth would I do something like that?"

"Because I say so." I interrupted, looking over her tormentor. I'm told I can be very intimidating when I want to be. I never want to be, but now, it seemed like a useful skill.

He, however, wasn't buying it. "And what are you gonna do? Sit on me?"

You'd think his words wouldn't sting anymore, considering what I hear from my dad, but I still found myself shrinking back.

He laughed, a vicious, grating sound. "Why would you care about her anyway? You know her mom was one of those voodoo priestess, right?"

She looked shocked. "... How did you-"

"I didn't until just now. You've got a bit of an accent, y'know."

"I-I do?" She asked, her fingers laid on her throat. "I thought it had faded away."

I rolled my eyes. "So what if she was? That has nothing to do with her. I love her, she loves me, and that's all I care about."

"Oh, she may love you now. But be warned, you two ever get in a fight, she may just curse your bloodline or turn you into a black cat." He teased. "Aaaaaanywhooo, I'll be off, but this was such a nice chat." It wasn't, and he was reveling in that fact. "See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya."

Hazel, visibly shaken, sat on the waiting room chair, and I sat down with her, hoping to give her some comfort. "Hey... It's ok."

"He's gonna tell everyone."

I nodded. "Probably. Just... Try not to let him bother you." I put my arm around her. "I think your accent is cute, by the way."

She smiled a little, leaning on me. "You do?"

"I do."

She laughed. "You've got one too, y'know? It's not that noticeable, but... It pops out sometimes."

"It does, eh?"

She playfully pushed my chest away, before her face fell a little. "... She wasn't really... Well, not exactly. I mean, she read tarot and stuff, but like, he's gonna make it seem like she was doing necromancy and mind control and all that junk they put in horror movies. But she wasn't, I swear!"

"Hey, don't stress it." I held her closer. "I actually think witchy stuff is pretty cool."

"You do?"

"Yeah! I wasn't raised like that, but you were. And it's honestly fascinating."

She smiled. "Well, what were you raised like?"

I sighed. Usually, I didn't talk about my past all that much. Not that people didn't ask, I'd just give pretty vague answers. "I mean, my grandma's a big believer in the traditional Chinese, uh... Not sure if you'd call it religion, or philosophy, or mythology, or superstition, or-" I stopped myself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get all hung up on labels. Anyway, it was always really important to her that I grew up with that stuff, that I knew all the folktales and all the holidays. But mom was an atheist, as were most people that I grew up with. Canada's not quite as... Obnoxious about religion, eh?"

That earned a laugh from her. "I bet they really came to blows over that a few times, huh?"

"Surprisingly enough, no. They just sort of... Agreed to disagree, and let me decide."

"Huh... So, what did you decide?"

I sighed. "That's the thing... I don't think I did. I'm just kind of open to anything, really. Sure, maybe grandma was right, or maybe my mom was. But maybe it was the christians, or even the witches." I smiled over at her. "So, what about you?"

She shrugged. "I mean... It's complicated. Back home, dang near everyone was Catholic, but... It was different. It wasn't the clean, constricted Catholicism everyone thinks of when they think Catholic. There was that side to it, yeah, there was also a side that was... Messy. It's like, on paper, they were Catholic, but nobody took it all that seriously. They were just there for the festivals and the saints and all the fun stuff. I guess that's because there were so many kinds of people washing up on the riverbanks, adding their own little spin on everything. In a weird way... It was like the south's New York."

She and I ended up talking about quite a bit, I assumed about an hour, but nothing that deep or important, just our homes. How different they were, not just from each other, but from where we were. Even in the little things, like the traffic, the wildlife, the weather. She and I were... I don't know if I'd use the word soulmates, since the whole idea of soulmates, the whole idea of destiny in general, it freaks me out a little. But... Kindred spirits, I'd say. Wounded and homesick, but stubbornly optimistic.

I was tempted to brag that my grandma's house is all the way up in the tundra, out in the wilderness, and that I've seen the northern lights a couple times. But then she'd wanna come up for Christmas and see for herself, and meet my grandma while she's at it, and I'd have to tell her she may not make it to Christmas. I don't like thinking about that, thinking that she could trip down the stairs at any moment and hit her head and die before I got a chance to come up and say goodbye. And if I said it out loud, I may just burst into tears. Because even though she, like my dad, is big into the whole 'tough love' thing, at least she, unlike my dad, has the decency to tell me when she's proud of me. The one thing I could bring myself to be angry at her about was that she was too proud to let me stay and take care of her when she got too old to take care of me.

So, I didn't mention the northern lights.

I was glad to be able to get her mind off of Octavian. But I still couldn't help but feel a little guilty. I should've stood up to him. I mean... I did. But I shouldn't've surrendered so soon, shouldn't've ceded him any ground. I should've been ready to die on that hill.

I was a coward.

And in my family, that's the worst thing you can be.

"Hazel?" A dentist called. "Dr. Canine is here to see you."

She stood up, shooting me one last nervous glance. "Well... See ya."

-

She was out of there at ten, and I couldn't help but wonder what could've taken so long. Considering that she also stumbled out of there stoned out of her mind, giggling like a hyena, I guessed that whatever it was, it was pretty extensive. She was stumbling and slurring her words, and I didn't think just taking her to school like that would be a good idea. I didn't want anyone to think she was on drugs or something.

So, I'm a little embarrassed to say, we played hooky for a bit, mostly driving around in the car, stopping at a drive-through smoothie place since for lunch, as per her suggestion, since, well, her mouth was totally numb. She was scared that, if she had to chew her meal, she may just bite her tongue in half and not notice. I tried to assure her that wouldn't happen, but better safe than sorry.

After lunch, though, it was time for us to go back to school and finish our days, which I was sad to see end, but I asked her out to dinner later tonight, and she said yes. Nothing too fancy, just some pizza by the slice, and maybe we get ice cream after. Well... OK, she will, I'll figure something else out. Lactose intolerance can be a pain In the butt sometimes, literally. She had art, and I had zoology, my favorite class. It's honestly amazing, the range of courses this school has to offer. I feel like I'm in college, but at seventeen.

After zoology, I had gym, and went to change in the stall. Usually, I'm done by the time Nico comes in, but this time I'm not. We usually don't talk much either, unless it's important, mainly because he's creepy. I don't mean that in a gross, pervy way, he just gives me, and pretty much everyone else, the heebie-jeebies. But I get it worse than most people, because I'm dating his sister, and he seems to think I'm gonna hurt her somehow, that I'm secretly a horrible person or something. But... "... Where's Jason?" I asked, not really expecting an answer. Him and Jason didn't really know each other all that well, at least to my knowledge. Then again, I didn't know him all that well either, so who knows? I just assumed they didn't because, well, Nico doesn't seem like the type to hang around people like Jason. He doesn't seem like the type to hang around people in general.

A sigh from the other end of the stall. "Not sure, I think he's absent, but... That doesn't seem like him."

I was a little surprised to hear him talk about him like they knew each other, but had to agree. "Yeah, the only reason he's ever been absent is that one time he got sick and didn't want to spread it to everyone else." I felt my mouth curl into a smile. Jason was... Perfect. And I know everyone says 'nobody's perfect', but they haven't met Jason Grace. He's the golden boy, the poster child for Goode High. Rich, popular, handsome, quarterback and future salutatorian (the only reason he can't be valedictorian is because he's running against Annabeth, and it would take a miracle to best her at anything related to academics), but he doesn't let any of that get to his head. He's humble, but not self-deprecating, nice, but not a pushover, assertive, but not aggressive, never lets his emotions get ahead of him, but doesn't cut himself off from them either. He's... Literally perfect. The most well-adjusted person I know, teenager or adult. And I'm glad to be his friend.

I just wish I could be him, too.

And I'm no fool. I know he's been through stuff, everyone has. I don't know what that stuff is, or why it hasn't affected him the way everyone else's stuff has affected them, but I know his life hasn't been perfect. Nobody's life is perfect. That's what people should say instead of nobody's perfect, nobody's life is perfect.

"Hm... Well, he was at the table with Leo yesterday, and he was sick. So maybe he got it from him?" Nico suggested, snapping me out of my thoughts. "But by that logic, shouldn't I be sick too? I mean, I was in super close contact with him that day. He's absent too, I noticed. I hope he's ok."

"Uh... Yeah. I'm sure he's fine." I responded, wincing a little at the mention of Leo. Not because I think he's a bad person, or even because we have bad blood together. But the way Hazel told me, she used to have a thing for him last year, but she waited until those feelings faded to even tell him they were there once, just to get them off her chest. And then he told her he kinda knew, but didn't wanna get his hopes up, so he told himself he was just imagining it, even though he liked her too, so now there's this awkward 'we almost dated' tension. And now that she has a boyfriend, and that boyfriend is me, that tension is even worse, and I'm caught in the crossfire. Oh, and he came over to my apartment once back in September for a project in algebra, flirted with my sister, which earned him a right hook in the jaw, spent the whole time we were supposed to be working doing unsolicited stand-up comedy that neither Clarisse nor I found funny, called my lactose-free milk 'basically water' and after she told him, and I quote 'he can't have the real thing or he'll be spending all day on the toilet' (thanks for that by the way, sis), he started heckling me about it while laughing like a hyena. Then he proceeded to drink the last of it anyway, and eat the last of the free donuts dad's always taking home from the precinct (who then thought it was me and still won't stop calling me a 'fatass' and a 'greedy little pig'), then passed out on my couch. In short, he made a... Well... 'Donkey...' Of himself. At least he had the decency to leave a thank you note when he left, so he's not intentionally malicious, but he's still an insensitive, inconsiderate little gremlin, with a weird habit of passing out on random people's couches. He did it at Percy's birthday party too, so it's not just me. That guy is... Something else.

By now, I was finished changing, so I got out of the stall and let him use it, sitting on the bench on the other side. After a while, I cleared my throat. "... So, uh... How about... Um, your family?"

"Oh, Hazel's been doing pretty well lately." Was all he responded with.

"And... The rest of your family?"

He stopped. "Um... Like, my dad?"

"Uh, yeah. How about him?"

"Um... Ok. I... I guess."

"You guess?"

"It's not important, ok? He's doing fine." His voice seemed a little snappy, and I didn't wanna get on his bad side.

I shrunk back, wanting to change the subject, but not knowing what to change it to.

His tone softened. "How about yours?"

"Hmm?"

"Your, uh... Family, I mean."

I sighed, confessing the one thing that had been running through the back of my mind all day. "Well... Dad's still missing."

"Oh... You didn't watch the news, did you?" He asked, and I could almost see the grimace forming on his face.

That triggered the alarm bell inside of me. "... What news?"

"He's dead."

My mouth hung open. "Oh my god... My dad... Is dead?"

He hissed through his teeth. "Yeah... Apparently, he got shot a bajillion times."

I didn't know what to say, so didn't say anything.

"Well, was a dick anyways, so I wouldn't be too sad about it."

"Dude! I... Look, he may not've been the best dad in the world, but... Come on! It's not like he ever hit me or anything..."

A long silence passed between us. That's not good. Then slowly, dangerously, he said four words that turned my life upside down. "... He hit your sister."

"He did what!?"

"Wait..." He opened the stall door, brown eyes wide and horrified. "... You didn't know?"

"No, of course I didn't! How would I...?" But thinking about it for even a second, how could I not know? I lived with her, with him, in a tiny, confined apartment, how could I have missed it? Am I really that oblivious?

After the initial shock, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. This whole time, I thought she was his favorite, that he liked her better, all the while, he's put her through hell, and hasn't laid a finger on me. I resented her ever since I met her, but I didn't know the half of what she was going through. And I've enabled him, made excuses for him, I used to want to make him proud. Some small part of me still does, even knowing how horrible he was to her.

And looking down at him, I couldn't help but wonder if that's why he's so worried about me mistreating Hazel. Does he think I'm gonna turn out like my dad? How long has he known, anyway?

He sighed, looking down at the floor. "Do me a favor, when you get home, don't let her know I told you. Don't even let her know you know, because if she knows that you know, she's gonna figure out that I told you, because I'm the only one that knows, and she told me not to tell anyone, and I thought you already knew, but you didn't. So just act like you don't know, ok?"

I shook my head. "I... I don't think I can do that. I can't just... Ignore everything you just said."

"... I understand. At least... Don't implicate me. I don't wanna end up stuffed and mounted on a wall."

Seeing him so nervous... Felt wrong. He's the one that made other people nervous, me included. But I suppose everyone gets nervous sometimes. "... Ok. I'll try and make it seem like I just... Figured it out myself." I was still in shock, really. And I stayed that way for the rest of the day. None of it felt... Real. I went to the apartment and set an alarm for five, so I could remember to get ready and be out the door for our pizza date, and even as I was winding the alarm clock on my dad's nightstand, it didn't really sink in that he'd never sleep there again.

It was only when I read the note over, saying she'd be at the hospital, that it actually hit me.

He's the reason she had to go.

Because he hit her. Constantly.

But this time, it was so bad, she had to go to the hospital.

Her limp arm... Oh gosh, did he break it?

She always acted so tough, like she wasn't scared of anything. But she must've been terrified.

I mean... He's dead now. He can't hurt her anymore.

But what if he wasn't? What if he came walking right through that door, like everything was normal, what would I do? Would I say anything? Would I do anything? Part of me wants to say 'of course I would, who wouldn't?'

But then, I remember who I am. I'd try to stick up for her, for myself, but the minute he bit back, I would back down.

'Pussy.' He'd spit. His most common insult.

Am I... Crying?

Holy macaroni, I totally am.

And that's ok. I've had a lot of things to cry about lately. I had to read Flowers for Algernon for school over the weekend, and yesterday I got some chicken nuggets and then I saw a stray cat, but by the time I saw the stray cat, I had already eaten all my chicken nuggets, so I didn't have anything to give to the cat and that made me really guilty. And my dad has never said a single positive thing to or about me in the short time I knew him, and I shouldn't've been seeking his approval anyway because he's a jerk, and this whole time I thought my sister was just as bad, but now I kinda feel like the jerk for not trying to see things from her perspective. And my mom is dead, and she died a long time ago but I still miss her and wish she was here because she'd know what to say, because she always did. And now my grandma's dying too, and I haven't seen her since she and dad agreed to send me to that dang troubled kids camp. And I'm thousands of miles away from home, the place I always thought I'd spend the rest of my life, the place I thought I'd settle down and marry the girl I love, but the girl I love is here now, so I guess it's a good thing. Because if either one of us had stayed in our hometowns, we never would've met each other, and I'm so glad I got to meet her because she's incredible, and my dad was terrible to her too, that one day in the car, and I'm just glad her brother was there, because I'm not sure I would've been able to stand up to him, and who knows what would've happened to her if he hadn't scared my dad straight? And now he's dead, and he died in a super gruesome, public way, and she's in the hospital, so I'm totally alone, which is the only reason I'm even able to cry without being called a wimp, and that's really screwed up.

I'm just glad my mom was around long enough to teach me the opposite, or else, I'd be joining Fight Club right now.

After having a good cry, my head shot up to the alarm I'd forgotten I had set, and I rushed to get ready, hoping the redness in my eyes would dissipate by the time I got there.

-

Hazel's POV (wow 3 povs in one chapter im getting real wild with this one huh?))

As soon as I got home, I rushed up to my room and started getting ready. It may just be a pizza date, but I still wanted to look nice, so I wanted to video call Piper and Annabeth on my phone for advice. Well, and just for some girl chat. It was so nice to finally have people I could girl-bond with, after years of being alone. The closest thing my mom ever did to that for me was pass me down her collection of earrings. She even got my ears pierced as a baby specifically so I could wear them, which I was actually grateful for, since I'm too much of a wuss to get them done myself. But of course, they closed up during catholic school, since I wasn't allowed to wear them on campus, and I also wasn't allowed off campus without a parent or guardian, and since my mom is dead and my dad is a deadbeat, I was SOL.

I decided to prop it up against my mom's urn on my nightstand so I could free my hands. I took a moment to admire it, encrusted in moonstone and onyx and gold. She always did have a champagne taste.

Really backfired when they told me I couldn't display it in my own dorm, because 'Here at St Agnes, we try to foster values such as humility, meekness, and poverty of spirit. We can't allow you to grow boastful or proud inside of these walls, for it reflects badly on the church and the lord himself. You may either donate it or keep it packed away in your suitcase.' Screw you, Mother Minchin. Never said anything when the other girls had designer brand backpacks. Never said anything when the other girls showed up with diamond studs after their summer break, when year after year, I had to stay behind because nobody picked me up, and I was too scared to go walking in the street by myself, so I was cooped up for 5 years on campus, totally secluded from the outside world. No, because if you had said anything, their rich daddies and worrywart mommies would've gone down there and tore you a new one. You were dealing with gaggle upon gaggle of spoiled, entitled little rich girls who scream off with their heads at the slightest inconvenience, and you took all that frustration out on me. Because you could treat me any way you wanted, and I didn't have anyone I could complain to.

I shook the bitter thoughts out of my head and hit the call button. "Hey, girls!" I greeted. "So, I need your advice, dinner date with Frank. First off, makeup or no?"

"Nope." Annabeth decided.

I rolled my eyes. "I haven't even told you where we're going."

"Doesn't matter. You never need makeup, and if you're not totally sure you want it on, don't bother with the hassle. It feels weird on your face anyway."

"I'm on the same page as you, Beth." Piper joined in. "Besides, everyone knows the makeup industry is a huge dumpster fire, it's rife with hazardous materials, animal testing, worker exploitation. And the fact that it's so ubiquitous is the result of a deeply misogynistic society that teaches women that they're not good enough as they are, no matter how much #girlboss branding you slap on top of it, mom!" She huffed.

Annabeth and I stared in shock for a few seconds before she spoke. "Um... That started out really smart, and then just ended as a rant to your mom."

She shrugged, pulling out a pair of Garfield brand safety scissors. "Mom just got home from another shoot, saw her stuff on Instagram." She held a strand of hair and snipped it short, then tossed it aside. "I get it, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, but still." She sighed, blowing a longer strand out of the way before snipping it short too, much shorter than the last one, making her hair choppy and almost spiky. "Anyhow, how was your day?"

I sighed, walking over to the dresser. "Honestly... Not that great. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the worst day of my life by any means, but... Y'know." I pulled out a pair of pink overalls. "Whaddya think? Too casual?"

"You still haven't told us where you're going." Piper reminded me. "But yeah, I'd say it's a little childish for a date."

"Are you kidding me?" Annabeth asked. "You'd be adorable in that! It's like, nineties."

"Yeah, nineties kindergarten." She strained to look past me. "Why are all your clothes so pink and sparkly? Are you sure you're fifteen and not five?"

I rolled my eyes. "Most of them are purple, actually. Purple's my favorite color."

Piper nodded. "Alright... I guess I can work with that. Where are you going, by the way?"

"Oh, yeah. Pizza parlor."

Annabeth sighed. "Just... Throw on whatever. He'll swoon over you in sweatpants."

I felt my face heat up. "Really?"

Piper laughed. "Oh, hon. You've got him wrapped around your little finger. Plus, pizza's pretty messy. Especially once you put ranch on it."

Annabeth quirked a brow. "Wait, people actually do that?"

"What, you thought it was just a practical joke?" Piper asked.

While they started bickering about their opinions on pizza, I heeded their advice. Normally, I'm not the kind of girl that just throws whatever on, but I did just that. Those purple jeans I haven't worn in months, my old New Orleans Saints sweatshirt, my black flats, and that purple scarf as a headband. I had to keep some class, didn't I?

"Oh... I'm sorry." Piper sighed. "You never told us what happened today that, y'know, made it not too great. And we've just been ignoring that."

I shrugged. "It's not that big a deal. so how do I look?"

"Beautiful." Annabeth answered. "Seriously though, what happened?"

I sat down on the bed. "Well... I had to go to the dentist. That's never fun. And... I ran into someone there."

"Was it Leo?" Piper asked.

"Worse, much worse. Octavian."

She gagged, which made me laugh. "That little twerp?"

"You know him?" Annabeth asked.

"Well, not know know, but my brother and him are thick as thieves. Y'know, it's ironic how homophobic he is, because from the outside, they'd look like boyfriends."

I stifled a laugh. "They do kinda act like a couple, don't they?"

Piper shook her head. "Those two... Anyhow, so what drama went down?"

"Well, not much really. But apparently, he knows about my mom. And knowing him, he'll probably tell everyone else too."

"What about your mom?"

I bit my lip. Did I really wanna tell them? Did I trust them to understand?

Yes.

"Well... Before she died, she did a bunch of witchy junk to make a living. Well, she made more of a killing, but still. Y'know, tarot, astrology, crystal ball-type poppycock. And he's gonna make it seem... Worse than that. And I'm honestly pretty scared."

Just then, I heard Nico from the other side of the door. "Oh hell no!"

"Uh... I'm gonna check on my brother real quick, ok?" I set my phone down, still propped against the urn, and went over to open the door to his room... Which is a lot messier than I remember. "Um... Nico?"

He looked up. "Oh... Hey. What's going on?"

"Why did you... What happened?"

".... Oh. You, uh, heard that?" He laughed nervously, stepping into my room and closing the door behind him. "It... It was just from learning about Octavian, what he said to you."

"You were eavesdropping!?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

He shrugged. "You were much louder than you seem to realize." His face changed to one of concern. "Hazy..." His cold, bony hands grabbed mine. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I rolled my eyes, taking my hands away. "What's to tell? He made fun of me a little, then left me alone, end of story."

"Well, clearly, it was important enough to tell them, but not me."

"Look, it's not a huge deal. I honestly got off easy this time."

His face dropped. "You mean this isn't the first time he did something like this?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Nico-"

"I would've taken care of him a long time ago if I'd known that. All you had to do was say the word the minute he started giving you trouble, I would've fucked him up! I would've catapulted his ass into the sun!"

"Would you relax!?" I sighed, exasperated. "Frank handled it."

"Oh... Well, I'm glad he won't be bothering you anymore at least."

I shrugged. "I mean, he'll probably come back. He always does..." Oh, why did I say that?

"Then it's not handled." He insisted, looking over to where the video call was still on. "Piper, Annabeth, you're watching all this?"

I held my face in my hands. No, no, no, stop, don't embarrass me.

He ignored my silent pleas. "I've been meaning to talk with you for a long time. You've been spending a lot of time with her lately, both of you. Alone, out in the city, with no adult supervision, sometimes even after dark-"

"Why do you care?" Piper interrupted.

He scoffed. "Why do I care? Oh, I dunno, because you're three teenage girls, alone in New Fucking York, a city notorious for being extremely dangerous, with no way to defend yourselves or each other."

"I carry a knife, actually." Annabeth cut in.

He sighed, and when I looked over, I saw relief. "... That's good. But I want you to know, whenever she goes out with you, she's under your protection." Looking over his shoulder, Piper didn't seem too bothered, but Annabeth's eyes were wide with a grim realization. "Anything that happens to her while you three are out there, I'm holding both of you responsible for. So if she ever comes home, with even a single scratch on her-"

"Stop it!" I interrupted. I'd had enough of his antics. I grabbed the phone out of his hands. "I'm so sorry about that, he's just being a little drama queen. Anyhow, thanks for helping me pick this out, and I'm hanging up now. Bye." I didn't wait for them to say bye back, just pushed the end call button and whipped my head around to Nico. "Now what the heck was that!?"

"Hazel-"

"No, y'know what? You don't get to do this to me. And you don't even understand what it is that you're doing, which is so... Frustrating!"

"Then tell me!"

"You're scaring them! You're scaring my friends, you're scaring my boyfriend, and one of these days, you're gonna scare them off completely, and I'll be alone again! Is that what you want? Do you want me to be alone for the rest of my life!?"

"No! God no, I just... I want you to be safe."

"I am safe! I'm as safe as anyone can expect me to be, anyway. What, do you want me to just stay cooped up in this house and not go anywhere? Because I can't do that!"

"I just get nervous, is all."

"I text you when I get there, I text you when I leave, look both ways when I cross the street, stick in groups, I do everything right! What more do you want!?"

"You wanna know what I want? What I really want, but I don't say it because I know it can never happen?"

I sighed. "Go ahead."

"I wanna be with you, every single time you go out. In person. So that if anything happens, I can protect you. That's what I want. I want to protect you. Is that really so wrong?"

"On the surface, no! But you're acting like you're my dad, and you're not my dad! We're brother and sister, we're supposed to be on equal footing, why don't you get that? Why do you constantly hover over me, but whenever I try to return the favor, you shrink away? Why do you always treat me like I can't take care of myself!?"

"Because I can't lose you again, Bi-!" He stopped in his tracks, but I knew exactly what he was gonna say.

My heart felt like it had been scooped out with a melon-baller. I silently stared at him, so shocked I couldn't get my mouth to work. After a few seconds, I finally spoke again. "So that's what this is about." I replied, my voice cold and tight. "You don't care about me, all you care about is her. And you only love me because when you look at me, you see her. Am I wrong?"

"Hazy, no. No, no, that's not-"

"You're still not over her. I know you act like you are, and you may even think you are, but you're not. I know you're not, and I'm sorry, but let's be honest for a second. If she was still alive, I wouldn't be here! You wouldn't have taken me in, because there wouldn't be any room for me. And even still, there isn't any room for me, not really! Because even if you don't mention the elephant in the room, it still takes up space. She's still taking up space. Even now, she's all you can think about! All he can think about! Is it any wonder I'm constantly going out for dinner with the girls, or my boyfriend? I can't be in this house all the time, it's filled with grief like a thick black smoke, and it's smothering me! You're smothering me. But they give me room to breathe. So if you'll excuse me, I'm leaving."

And with that, I stomped out, leaving him behind to stew in his own savior complex. My body was still buzzing with emotion, so on the way, I kicked a trash can, hard, and screamed. "Why me!? Why, why, why!? Just when I thought I had someone on my side, someone who genuinely cared about me... And now, it turns out, I'm just his emotional fucking support dog!"

Yes I am actually capable of cussing, I just don't because it's rude. But I'm alone right now. I'm allowed to cuss.

Immediately after, though, the pain in my foot made me regret it. I sat down on the front steps of some random person's house and massaged it through my shoe, glad that I didn't put on anything fancy.

As I stood back up and started walking, I felt guilt creeping up on me. I mean, he does love me, and I know he does. But he's so... Paranoid. It's like he thinks everyone has it out for me. He doesn't trust my friends or my boyfriend, not completely. Not enough to stop worrying about me. Then again, he was the first person to actually treat me decently, so maybe I should've left well enough alone with him.

Maybe I don't really deserve him.

After all, if it smells like dog crap everywhere you go, you should check the bottom of your shoes, because chances are, you stepped in dog crap at some point and have been tracking it all around town like a disgusting pig all day.

Funny you should say that. Because that's exactly what you are, a disgusting pig. Y'know, maybe if you didn't have such a big sweet tooth, you wouldn't get ogled so much. Because your hips wouldn't be as big as they are, and you would look less like a woman and more like a little girl. It's your own fault, y'know, the way they look at you. The way they talk about you, because you know they do.

I stopped in front of a store window and looked at my reflection. With my round face and big eyes and meager height, I don't look like a woman. And the sweatshirt is loose...

But the jeans are tight.

Is that why I don't wear them? Because they're tight, and they show off the curve of my hips?

Are they even gonna fit once I gorge myself on pizza?

Should my face be that round?

Do I look... Fat?

I shook myself out of it. So what if I look fat? Hell, so what if I am fat? Frank's fat, and I love him. I'm sure he'll love me too, if I get fat.

But I did suddenly regret agreeing to a pizza date.

Why do I care so much?

'Oh well, too late to back out now.' I thought, staring up ahead at the sign and walking in, waiting for him.

-

After a while, he rushed in and sat next to me. "Hazel! Oh, so sorry I'm late. I didn't mean to keep you waiting, I just-"

"It's fine... Why are your eyes all red?" I asked.

He sighed, sitting next to me. "Um... I've been crying."

I put my hand over his. "Oh, dear. What's wrong?"

"Um... A lot. I guess I don't usually think about it, but... There's a lot wrong in my life."

I hugged him. "Well... I'm here."

He hummed and kissed the top of my head. "You're here." He repeated, before perking up to order. He got Canadian bacon and peppers, no cheese, and I just got pepperoni and stuffed crust.

We talked about anything and everything, mostly TV, and we'd each gone through three slices before picking up the check. "Y'know... I didn't expect that to be so expensive. Um... I don't have any more cash on me, but if you want, I can swing by the apartment and get some cash. Oh wait..." He smacked his head. "No doy, there's donuts in the fridge. You wanna go get them?"

My mouth hung open. "You've got donuts?"

"Uh, yeah. That's what I just said."

I squealed and squeezed him tight. "Thank you! Oh... By the way, can I stay at your place?"

He quirked a brow. "Why? Is something wrong with yours?"

"No, it's just... I can't be there right now. I'll explain on the way."

Once we were out of the building, I did explain. I explained everything. The fight, the paranoia, the dead sister. How they were both still in the throes of grief, even if Nico denies it, and I feel expected to grieve with them but I just... Don't. And why should I be expected to? Why should I suffer the loss of the sister I never met, but could never live up to?

Once we got to his apartment, I turned to him. "... You've been really quiet."

"I've been listening." He explained. "I mean... That's really rough."

"Yeah... Say, was I too harsh, do you think?"

He shrugged. "I'd have to be there to know. But from the way you tell it, no. You just... Expressed your feelings."

"Well, yeah. But of course I look like the reasonable one, I'm the one telling the story." I reasoned. "Looking back on it, I put words in his mouth. I know I did. You don't have to tell me I was in the right just because I'm your girlfriend."

He nodded. "I know. But it seems like you really needed to get all that off your chest." He opened the door, and I stepped in, freezing up when I saw Clarisse, stuffing her face with the donut box open, her other arm in a sling.

"Oh, uh... Hi." I waved nervously.

She looked up. "Oh hey. Bringing your girlfriend over already, huh? Moving a little fast."

He rolled his eyes. "Shut up. Tell me you saved some?"

"That's a funny way to pronounce 'get well soon', bro." She handed him the last two, and he gave one to me. "That's honestly the suckiest thing about this whole situation. No more free donuts."

"What situation?" I asked, looking up at her.

The way she glared down at me made me wish I hadn't. "I wasn't talking to you pipsqueak."

"Yeah well, they're not as good as Tim Horton's anyway." I heard from the couch.

"Shut up, loser. Nobody gets your Canada references."

"Then how did you know that was a Canada reference?" He asked, making me laugh. I sat next to him and bit into my donut as he spoke. "Of course... Maybe the only reason I like them so much is because of my mom."

"Hmm?"

He sighed. "Yeah... She used to stop and get me Timbits for breakfast on occasion, on the way to school. Of course, it was always bittersweet, since she only did that when she was about to leave. So whenever we pulled into the drive through, I knew she wouldn't be the one picking me up from school."

I looked up at him, still chewing the bite of donut in my mouth. "Leave?"

"Like... For work. She, um... She was in the military. But she always made the most of her time with me, I guess because she knew, at any moment, it could be cut short."

"Oh... Well, she sounds pretty great. I'd love to meet her."

Sadness washed over his face. "She was. I... Wish you could."

I felt guilt stabbing my heart. "Oh, jeez. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rub it in or an-"

"I know. It's ok, you didn't know. I never really... Talk about her."

I nodded. "... If it makes you feel any better, mine... She's also, well, um... Gone."

He looked over at me. "As in...?" He pointed down.

"Well, I'd like to think she's in heaven." I half-joked.

"Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't... I just-y'know, forgot you, because I don't-"

"It's ok." I sighed. "... I don't think you'd want to meet her, though. Not that she was a bad person, but she... She was never all there. Well, I guess that's not true. She used to be all there. And then... I happened."

His head tilted. He's so cute when he does that. "Whaddya mean?"

I smiled a little, before my face dropped again. "... I think this would be a better conversation to have in private." I stood up from the couch and took his hand, guiding him to his bedroom. Once the door was closed, I sat down on the bed closest to the door. "... Postpartum psychosis."

He hissed through his teeth. "Oh man... That's horrible."

"Yeah, but... That's not even the worst part." I started pulling gently at the pills of lint on the sheets. "... She believed she was connected to a higher power. So she never got help. But she... She scared me. She'd have these... Flashes of mania. I was a little kid, and I didn't know what was going on, so I called the priest instead of the hospital, I told them they had to exorcise my mom." I shrugged. "... They thought they were helping. But they were trying to fix a broken mirror with a hammer and nails."

"That's a really good metaphor. Did you come up with that on the spot?"

I thought about it for a minute. "... I don't think so. I probably heard it from somewhere. I must've..." Ah, there's the old catholic girl training kicking in again. Never take credit for anything, you must've heard it from somewhere else. "... Or maybe I did. Who knows?"

He smiled. "I can't believe I'm dating someone so smart, so creative. How did that happen?"

I blushed. "Well, I kept losing at the ringtoss..."

"... And I was in the right place at the right time..."

"... You bumped into me, and I stumbled back, and we were both apologizing and laughing and just being awkward..."

"And I started helping you out at the ringtoss." He finished.

By now, my face was burning up, and I forgot all about our original conversation. But after a while, I noticed his face was scrunched in thought. He made the cutest expressions. "... What were the last words you remember her saying?"

I froze, not expecting to be blindsided with a question like that.

He grimaced. "It's ok if you don't wanna tell me. Um... I can tell you mine first, if you want."

I cleared my throat. "Um... I think that'd be best."

"Well... Honestly, I didn't think this through, since I don't remember the exact words. They were probably something like... 'Have a good day at school,' or... 'Mind your grandma while I'm gone.' Of course, I probably would've remembered them better if I knew they'd be her last." His voice was shaky now.

Now I felt guilty for making him start with his, and I stood up to sit on his bed. "Hey... It's ok. We can talk about something else if you-"

"No, I... I started this whole thing." He sniffed. "It's... Good to remember what you've lost. Because if you remember it, you can't really lose it, can you? It's... Still there, somehow."

I smiled, putting an arm around his waist. "Yeah... That's true." I paused, the words on my mind, but my mouth unsure how to preface them. "... 'I never wanted you to see me like this.' That's... The last thing she told me."

"Oh... I-I hate to ask, but-"

"I walked in on her when she was..." I sighed. "... I didn't get it, of course I didn't, I was nine, but... She was standing on top of a chair." Any more detail and I would've gotten sucked into the memory, the pure confusion and panic of that moment, all over again.

He put one of his big, soft hands on my shoulders. "I'm... So sorry."

I let out a shaky sigh. "... She sent me away the next morning, left me a business card with my dad's address on it. And a year later..."

"Jeepers."

I leaned on his shoulder. "Jeepers is right. Got her ashes and urn sent in the mail."

He gave me a side-hug, strong and secure, but soft and gentle, just like everything about him. He always gave the best hugs. "... On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate your pain?" He asked, mimicking Baymax's voice.

Despite everything, I laughed a little. He always knew how to cheer me up. But I answered honestly. "Normally... A four. Maybe five. But with you, it's more like two." I kissed his cheek.

His face turned stop-light red. "U-uh... L-let's go to bed, eh? Got a long day ahead of us."

"Alright, alright." I stood up and laid back down in my own bed, technically Clarisse's. "Goodnight, teddy bear~"

"Goodnight, my golden girl."

I reached in my pocket for my phone so I could text Nico goodnight too. We may have just had a big blowup, but he's still my brother, and I still love him.

Oh crap. I left my phone at the house.

Well, I'm getting an earful tomorrow morning, but for now, I just need to close my eyes and go to bed.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

She's dead.

She's dead, she's dead, she's dead.

She's dead, written across my body. All of my body, wrists, thighs, even my stomach.

I think you know by now what color it's in.

Everything hurts. My entire body, my head, my heart, every single part of me is being held captive by the dull, throbbing ache of loss I'm all too familiar with. She was the only reason I kept myself alive.

And now she's dead.

I'm not getting anywhere with this rinky-dinky little razorblade. I could slash somewhere important, like my neck, or the inside of my thigh. That would do it.

But I think that's a little too hands-on. I'll probably chicken out at the last minute.

I threw on my sweatpants and hoodie, not bothering to clean up or bandage myself. It burned, the feeling of fabric against naked, open wounds. And as I stood, I saw black spots in the corners of my eyes. I haven't slept all night. I've been waiting for something, anything to tell me that she was ok. A call or a text or... Anything. But it was useless. She's dead, and I know that she's dead. And I'm gonna join her soon.

Once I was decent, I went out of the house and started on my way to the bridge.

After a few minutes of walking, I stopped in my tracks and stared for a moment as I locked eyes with...

Hazel?

"... Um, hi-"

I sprinted forward and wrapped my arms around her. "Hazel! Oh, thank god you're ok!" My arms loosened just enough that I could look her in the face. "... What were you thinking!? Do you have any idea how much danger you were in, going out all by yourself late at night!? And you didn't call me, or text me, or anything! I know you were mad, and you had every right to be, but you can't just fall off the face of the earth like that!"

She held her hands up in surrender. "Ok, everything you're saying is totally reasonable, but the way you're saying it... Is scaring me a little."

"Oh, this is scaring you, is it? How scary do you think it was for me when I couldn't reach you last night!?"

"I left my phone at home, ok? And I was at Frank's, so I physically couldn't access it." She explained slowly, like she was talking to a child, which, despite my deep love for her, made my blood boil. I loathe being talked down to. I'm sure everyone does.

I stomped my foot, which looking back, was very childish of me. "Well, you could've asked for someone else's phone!"

"Didn't you tell me not to talk to strangers?"

I shut my mouth. She had a point. I did tell her that, many, many times. "... Well... What about Clarisse? Was she home?"

She choked on air. "Wha- I-... Yeah, but I'm not gonna go up to her and ask her for her phone! That girl scares the bejesus out of me!" She raised her voice by an octave or two to emphasize her point, which was already a sweet, girlish soprano, so she ended up sounding like a cartoon character.

Despite the argument, my face broke into a grin. "... You're adorable." I went in for another hug. "I love you, so, so, so much. Don't you ever scare me like that again, ok? I was up all night last night, I... I thought you were dead."

Her arms coiled around mine, squeezing the breath out of me. "Ok, ok. I'll be more careful about having my phone on me... What were you doing out here anyway?"

I froze. "... I was... Looking for you." I lied. She didn't need to know how badly I needed her around. She didn't need that kind of pressure. "I'm so glad you're ok... You are ok, aren't you? Nobody tried to mug you or grope you or anything bad like that, did they? Because if they did, I'll kick their ass."

"Please don't." She kissed my cheek. "And I mean it. It scares me to think that you could pick a fight with the wrong person and end up in jail or the hospital or... Or worse... All in my name. I don't want that on my conscience-"

"Oh, sweetheart, no." I began to shepherd her back to the house. "Look, whatever I do... It's not your fault. It's mine. And whatever happens to me as a result... That's my own fault too. So you don't need to feel bad about it."

She sighed, leaning on me a little. "I know. I mean... Most of the time, anyway."

"Whaddya mean?"

"I just mean... I don't know."

I stopped to face her. "Hey... You know you can tell me anything, right? I care about you, and if there's something you're hurting about, I wanna know."

"You wouldn't understand."

Oh no. No, no, no. I can't have my bad habits rubbing off on her too. She doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve to become like me. I suck, and I'm miserable. And I deserve to be miserable, but she doesn't. "Hazy, whatever it is..." I paused. "... I'll try." That's all I can guarantee, and I hate it. I wish I could say that I would, unfailingly. But I can't. We're so different from each other where we don't need to be, because we're treated differently by those around us.

She thought for a minute. "... It's like those old cartoons, y'know? The ones with the angel and the devil on your shoulder? Where the angel is telling you to do the responsible thing, and the devil is trying to tempt you into something bad?"

"Yeah?" I sat down at the front steps of our house.

She sat down with me. "Well, except they don't disappear when you've made your decision. They're still there. And they still whisper in your ears, making commentary about your life. And the angel is the nice, calm, rational one. The one that's like 'things are gonna turn out fine, you're fine, you're pretty, and you're a good person, and people like you!'"

"And... What does the devil say?"

She turned away and didn't answer.

I put a hand on her back. "Oh, hon... Is... Is that where all that came from last night?"

She shrugged. "I guess... I'm sorry, by the way. For blowing up at you like that."

"Oh baby, it's ok. I started you off anyway, you don't have to be sorry about a thing." I sighed. "I was being so thoughtless with my words. I never meant to make you feel interchangeable, like a replacement, or an... 'emotional fucking support dog'. But that's exactly what I did, and I'm deeply sorry."

"I forgi-... Wait. You heard that?"

"Hazel, the whole neighborhood heard it."

She hid her face in the collar of her shirt, clearly embarrassed. "Oh jeepers!"

I laughed a little. "Relax, I won't smack your knuckles or anything."

She laughed too, leaning on me. After a while, though, her face dropped. "... I didn't mean for it to come out so... Accusatory. I just had so much pent-up jealousy, and... I snapped. I ended up putting a lot of words in your mouth. And I'm sorry for that."

"It's ok. I don't know what I did or said to make you feel like you couldn't tell me before, but I wish you had. I wish you felt like you could trust me."

"It's... It's not your fault. I just... I feel like I shouldn't be jealous. Because I know this has to be hard. You try and paper over it, but... I know it is. Losing your sister, never knowing your mom, watching your dad spiral down the rabbit hole... It's gotta suck. But sometimes, I find myself wishing our places were switched. Because at least that way, I would've gotten to know what it's like to have a caring father, even if it didn't last as long as it needed to. That way, I would've had another girl to bond with, to do makeovers and talk about cute guys and all the things that sisters do together. That way, my mom would've been someone to look up to. Someone who, when people said she'd be proud of me, it... It'd mean something." Silent tears streamed down her face, and I hugged her closer, feeling my own eyes getting misty. "And I feel like crap for thinking like that. Because you've spent your whole life having good things ripped away from you. But... I never got to have those good things in the first place." She planted her face in my chest, and I tried my best to comfort her, to wordlessly let her know I was here for her. I feared if I tried to speak, I would burst into tears too, and I had to be strong for her right now. "... But I guess there was nowhere for me to go but up. And... I've gone up. I have a sweet, loving, gentle boyfriend who always knows how to make me feel better, and two wonderful friends that give the best advice, a-and..." She started sobbing. "And most of all, I have a big brother that loves me too much for his own good, who I know only wants the best for me, who took care of me even back when not even my own father would bother giving me so much as a second glance. Nico, you're... You're the best thing that ever happened to me. And I don't want anything to come between us, especially not a fight like this. We both made some mistakes, and we're both very sorry, and we both forgive each other. So let's leave it at that, and not bother with who's to blame for what, ok?"

"... Ok." I blinked away my tears, trying to make my voice as steady as I could, but I couldn't help but gush a little. She really thought that highly of me? That I was the best thing that ever happened to her? It felt so strange to get praise like that, I wasn't used to it. I nearly started crying in earnest. "Ti amo, sorellina." I hugged her as tight as I could. My arms were on fire, but that didn't matter. I love her so much, I have to tell her, I have to show her. "Ti amo tanto."

"Love you too, sha frére." She looked up at me, eyes red and puffy, an appreciative smile on her face.

I tilted her chin up a little. "Are you feeling any better?"

She nodded and hugged me around the neck. "A lot better. Guess I just felt like being a crybaby this morning."

"Hey, it's ok. You seemed to really need it."

"Yeah... I did. Thanks." Her warm hand reached up to cup my cheek, and she pulled away to look me over. "How 'bout you? You holdin' up ok? You look pale."

I rolled my eyes. "I always look pale."

"I know. But you're even paler than usual, so clearly, something's wrong. And you didn't get any sleep last night... Y'know what?" She held my shoulders. "You need to go to bed."

"It's morning."

"I don't give a rat's tail what time it is, you need rest, pronto." She urged.

"Hazy, I can't miss a day of school just because I'm tired."

"You can and you will. Trust me, one absence won't hurt."

I sighed. She was being really stubborn about this. "Fine, if you insist. I can't believe you're the one talking me into playing hooky."

The school bus pulled up, and we both stood. "Sleep tight." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss my forehead.

I stroked her hair lovingly. "I will... I don't know what I'd do without you."

She shrugged. "Die, probably." She joked, skipping up the steps and waving to me through the window.

I waved back to her, smiling as I watched the bus drive away, and went back in the house.

-

I reached to open the bathroom door. Once I opened it, however, I saw the grimy, blood-smeared tile floor, and my heart dropped into my stomach.

What if I hadn't chosen the bridge? What if I'd slit my throat? Or chugged some cleaning supplies? Or drowned myself in the bathtub?

I can see the scene play out like a movie in my head.

She comes home and calls my name. I don't answer, I can't answer.

She opens the door to the bathroom, only to find me lying there, motionless and cold. She tries to wake me up, I don't wake up. I can't wake up.

She's panicking, devastated, bawling her poor little eyes out as she calls 911, hoping to save me. I can't be saved, it's too late.

She reads my wounds. She's dead, written a million times over. Which would be worse? If she knew I meant her or not?

If she knew, she would blame herself, without a doubt in the world. She'd spend the rest of her days beating herself up for walking out, as if she ever could've predicted what I would do while she was away.

But if she didn't know... She'd assume I meant Bianca. And after the fight we had last night, that would've really stung. It would've been the final nail in the coffin, the thing that convinced her that I didn't care about her. That couldn't be further from the truth.

Or a third option, she doesn't read them at all. She can't bring herself to look at me a second longer. And all her life, she wonders what she did wrong. She didn't do anything wrong.

In all three versions, she ends up stuck with a father that barely even exists, and she's left to fend for herself. Who's gonna make sure her laundry's clean? Who's gonna help with her homework when she gets stuck on a math problem? Who's gonna cook her breakfast and dinner, and make sure she eats them? Make sure that she's happy and healthy and protected from any schoolyard bullies or catcallers on the street?

Shame flooded my mind, staring at the puddles of blood.

'You're the best thing that ever happened to me.'

And I was gonna rip myself away from her.

How could I be so selfish?

I took a deep breath and shook my head before getting to work, cleaning the bathroom, erasing any evidence that I was anything but perfectly fine. It took longer than I expected, and it was excruciating, kneeling, scrubbing, every part of my body was on fire, especially my cuts. My vision was blurry at the edges, and I was getting winded fast. My head was throbbing. I was honestly scared I'd pass out and hit my head. Finally, it was over, and I stripped again to clean and bandage my wounds.

I looked in the mirror again, the full length one, watching the last bandage wrap snugly around my waist.

God, I'm ugly. And I'm just making myself uglier when I do this. But hey, you can't put lipstick on a pig anyway. And I'll never show any of this, to anyone, ever.

But what's the point of writing words nobody else will read?

Clearly, that's what you want.

You want people to read them.

You want attention.

You never really thought she was dead, did you? That's ridiculous. Why would anyone in their right mind draw a conclusion like that off of so little evidence?

How could you give up on her so easily? Assume, so quickly, that she was gone? You're an awful person.

Maybe she'd be better off without you anyway.

I sigh, finishing the bandage, and walk out, taking up the bloodied sweats and throwing them into the washer. They were black, so any stains wouldn't show too bad, but I didn't wanna risk exposure, no matter how slim the odds are. I felt weird about walking to the laundry room in only my boxers, but I guess my dad actually decided to go to work today, since he was nowhere to be found. That, or he was at a bar. Although, what time is it...? Ten now. What bar is open by ten in the morning?

I trudged up to my room, still only wearing boxers and bandages. I hope I wake up in time to start on dinner...

-

Percy's POV)

It was kinda hard, facing Paul for class after... What happened. We'd all have to talk about it together at some point, him, my mom, and I. Find out how much he knows. I just... I don't want to. I don't wanna talk about it, I don't wanna think about it. Because the more I think about it, the more anxious I get. I'm already fidgeting a lot more, almost as much as I used to as a kid, clicking my pen so fast it sounded like maracas.

My train of thought is less like a train and more like an airport, dozens of planes all landing and taking off, little people scurrying about, some flights being delayed, some having technical difficulties that make them unable to get off the ground, some crashing in the Bermuda Triangle. Maybe because I'm trying to distract myself from the one thought I can't bring myself to focus on.

Mostly, I'm thinking about food, I packed something special for Nico today, but he's not here, so I guess I'll take it to Leo instead. But he wasn't here yesterday, and neither was Jason. If there's something serious going on, which I wouldn't be surprised about, then they probably won't be here today either. It's the leftover nachos my mom made me for dinner last night. I was really happy about that, so I didn't ask any questions, but I couldn't help but wonder what the occasion was. Maybe she heard about what happened that morning and wanted to make me feel better without saying anything and potentially embarrassing me. Because yes, it's embarrassing what happened. To think that I, as an officially adult man, still slipped into the mindset I had when I was eleven, and in public no less, it's humiliating. Just like that outburst I had when I quit, but even worse, because at least then, I didn't look weak. I fought back, and I was justified in fighting back, because my boss actually was a dick. Paul had been nothing but good to me. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve me being scared of him, even for a second, when he's done nothing wrong.

Ok, let's think about something else. Let's think about, um... Subnautica? Yeah, that's always fun. Can't wait to go back home and get back to that one cavern. Can't wait to go back home period. Home is where my mom is, and my blahaj, and my pillow pet. I can take a nap any time I want. I wanna take a nap right now. Why do they make us get up so early, I hate it, I hate school, I've always hated-

"Percy?" Came from the front of the class.

Shit. I look up at him. "Yeah?"

He cleared his throat. "Um... I noticed you staring out the window a lot. So, just in case you-..." He turned his attention to the entire class. "Just in case anyone here needs a reminder, there's gonna be a test on Friday in the computer lab, so be sure to study, and be sure to bring a cardigan or something, because they keep it real cold in there for some reason."

I laughed a bit, and so did a few of my classmates. "Yeah, what is it with that?"

He shrugged. "I guess it's because it was made for computers first and people second. Computers like it cold."

"But not too cold, or they'll freeze."

He laughed. "You're so funny. You should do standup!"

I rolled my eyes, but took the compliment, and the class resumed. Eventually, class was dismissed, and I got up to leave.

"... Hey, Percy? I, uh... Can you hang back for a bit? I need to talk to you."

I sighed. "Is this about my grades or something?" It's always about my grades.

"Um, no. Not exactly. It's just... I want you to know that if you're struggling, you can always come to me."

"Oh... Ok." I turned to leave, but he kept talking.

"And... It doesn't have to be something to do with class. You know that, right?"

I turned back to look at him, and he looked so... Anxious. So sorry for me. Stop it, don't look at me like that, stop looking at me like that. Stop looking at me like I'm a fragile little baby. I cleared my throat, finding a sudden interest in my blue vans. "Um, yeah. Ok. I'm gonna have to, uh..." I jammed my thumb behind me."

"Yeah, no, sure, go ahead."

As I walked to the next class, as I moved throughout the day, I pushed the incident to the back to my mind. But I was really glad I had swim practice today, so I could get my nervous, angry energy out.

Finally, lunch came. "So he lives!" I yelled to Jason the minute I saw him, sitting right next to him. "Dude, I missed you! Thought you were dead." I joked. "Seriously, though, you never miss school. Where were you yesterday?"

He rolled his eyes and playfully shoved me. "Jeez, can't a guy take a day off?"

"Not without explaining yourself." Piper jumped in. "When you texted me, you just told me you were staying home without telling me why. What happened?"

"I was helping out a friend, if you must know."

I smiled a little. "Classic Jason, always helping out. Who was it? And where's Leo, or do you know?" I didn't know him all that well, since we've never had any one on one time, but he was gone today too. Two days in a row can't be good.

"Yeah, he's home sick."

"Oh, poor dude. Hope he's ok..."

Piper nodded. "I mean, he had to go to the nurse on Monday. Looked like he was gonna pass out. I think he did pass out, actually."

Jason put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, he'll be fine."

"How do you know?" I asked. "Are you a prophet or something?"

He tisked. "I've been checking up on him, dingaling... How about Nico?"

"Hm?"

"He didn't show up today either. Did he tell you why?"

"Oh, no. He didn't tell me at all." I didn't even notice. Fuck, why didn't I notice?

I pulled out my phone and sent a few texts to him.

'hey where r u?'

'what happened?'

'sorry if im being 👃y im just checking in'

'oh btw, jason said leos home sick'

'ik u asked abt him yesterday'

'u seemed real worried abt him but jason's also been checking on him and he said hes gonna b ok'

'so now its ur turn 2 b worried abt'

I put my phone down, disappointed that I didn't get a response, and turned to Annabeth, who was silently reading Animal Farm. I swear, she reads books like they're drinking water. Maybe I would too, if my brain would let me. But not books like that, those are depressing.

I felt kinda bad for not including her in the conversation, but she didn't seem to mind, or even notice. I'm glad she didn't notice. But I did.

I also noticed that she hasn't touched her lunch yet. I nudged her a little. "Hey, blondie. You gonna eat that?"

She looked up from her book. "Oh crap. Kinda forgot it was there for a second." She dog-eared her book, picked up her fork, and started eating. "What were you three talking about?"

"Leo." Piper answered. "He's missing. Well, not missing missing, but he's not here."

"Oh... So that's why there was no screaming in shop today." Was all she said.

I laughed a little. "Care to elaborate?"

"Oh, there's always something. Sometimes he'll hurt himself, sometimes he'll set something on fire, y'know. It's never too bad, but every single day, something happens, and it's somehow his fault. He's more accident prone than you, Percy!"

I couldn't help but crack up. "Ah shit, where'd I put my number 1 klutz trophy? I've gotta give it to him now!"

"How did I not know that? That's hilarious!" Piper cackled. "I kinda regret buying him a phone now, those things are delicate."

"Oh come on, don't make fun of him behind his back like that." Jason scolded. "I'm sure it's embarrassing enough already, and you're supposed to be his friends."

"Jason, it's not a big deal."

"Well, would you still talk like that about him if he was around to hear it?" He asked. He didn't raise his voice, but I could tell he was getting defensive.

"Dude, stop trying to make me feel guilty." I pleaded. "It's just a little light fun. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Why are you so concerned with him anyway?"

Piper smirked at him, but didn't say anything. There was something knowing in those multicolored eyes, something mischievous.

Jason noticed too. "Oh, shut up."

She laughed. "I didn't say anything."

-

I was walking home from swim practice when I got a text back. A very long text. It wasn't too bad, but I had to really stop and concentrate, which isn't easy to do on a city street.

'Hi, I just saw your messages. All seven of them. Why didn't you just put them all into a single message? Anyway, about Leo, is there any way you could send me his number? I just wanna talk to him directly.'

I sighed.

'srry no, idk his nmbr'

'how r u btw? u didnt answer'

I waited a few minutes for a response.

'I'm fine, I just had a headache. Why are you so worried about me anyway?'

'cuz ur my'

I stopped myself. I considered him a friend, but did he feel the same way?

Fuck it.

'cuz ur my fren <3'

I sent it out.

After waiting a little, I realized I wouldn't get a response any time soon, so I put my phone in my pocket and kept walking home.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

Somehow, I lucked out this morning, and arrived super early, meaning I actually got time to myself before the school day officially began. So did a couple of my friends, but before I went over there, someone caught my eye.

Hera, Jason's stepmom. She was wearing a 50's style cocktail dress, patterned with peacock feathers, mostly blue with bits of purple, green, and shimmery copper. I may be biased because my favorite color is blue (if you couldn't tell already), but I thought it was so beautiful it had no business being worn by someone like her. Especially once I overheard what they were talking about. "I'm just saying, Mr. Brunner, I don't want any babies conceived in the bathroom stall."

"For the last time, Hera, we're not splitting them up by sex. This is homecoming, not some rinky-dinky middle school sock hop. If I know anything from my thirty some-odd years of teaching here, it's that high schoolers, number one: Will find a way around whatever rule you have in place, if they want to break it, they will break it. And two: They don't appreciate being treated like twelve year olds! So not only would that be pointless, but humiliating. For god's sake, some of these kids are old enough to vote! Now, if you suggest that one more time, I'm kicking you off the committee."

"Let's just kick her off now." Miss Hestia suggested in between sips of coffee. "She's been nothing but a miserable little pill ever since she joined. And she's not even a teacher or staff member or anything, she's just a stay at home mom-... Scratch that, stay at home step-mom, with too much time on her hands."

"Y'know what? No. You're the one that shouldn't be on the committee. You shouldn't even be a teacher! Because you don't have a child of your own, you don't know how they work. But I do, because I have a son. And if you kick me off, that son won't be allowed to go! Is that what you want, Hestia? Do you really wanna be the reason a student can't go to homecoming?"

She scoffed. "Jason's not gonna blame me, he's gonna blame you. And by the way, he doesn't consider himself to be your son. And I know that because he told me, because he had me for Home Ec last year, and he felt like he could open up to me. I, unlike you, tend to have that effect on people."

"Fine!" Hera then stormed off, fuming, and I scurried off before she could bump into me. She doesn't like me, or my girlfriend, very much. But she especially has it out for me. She says I've ruined her son. Every time he snarks back or gets a b on a test or is anything less than perfect, she somehow finds a way to blame it on me. At least, from what Jason's told me. I've only met her once, and... Well, it didn't go well.

As I walked closer to my friend group, I could hear Frank's voice fading in, as he seemed to be breaking something to Hazel. "-and I told her, you don't need to get a second job, the life insurance policy can cover whatever needs to be covered, but she insisted. Anyway... I know you got a dress picked out, but I'm kind of... In shock, I guess? And now there's all these reporters coming to the house, and... I'm sorry. I just don't think I have it in me."

"Hey, don't be sorry. It's ok." She stroked his back. "It's alright, I get it."

I knew what they were talking about. Honestly, my first reaction was 'who?', until I remembered I kicked him in the nuts. At nine years old.

Hell yeah. I'm glad that pig is dead.

"Yeah," Annabeth chimed in. "we could just make this a girls night out if you want. Me, you, Piper, our boyfriends."

"What'cha talkin' about?" I asked, sitting next to Annabeth on the grass. The outdoor spaces are small here, but they're actually really nice, which I couldn't say of most of my previous schools.

She leaned on my shoulder. "Oh, Frank was just saying he couldn't make it to homecoming."

"And... You offered to take her instead? I thought you didn't wanna come. I thought they were stuffy and boring."

She shrugged. "I didn't, and they are, but if it makes her feel better..."

"But... We were gonna go on a double date. My mom and I, her boyfriend, and you. We were gonna go out to that fancy frozen yogurt place and then the movies. We already had four tickets to The Remedy! How could you betray me like this?" I laughed a little, obviously playing up the hurt for dramatic effect, though I couldn't help but feel a little wounded that she'd abandon our plans so suddenly. I get it though. She's so sweet, so innocent, and considerate too. No wonder Nico's so protective of her, no wonder he dotes on her so much. When you meet someone like that, you can't help but give them whatever they want. Especially when they've got someone like him backing them up.

"Are you still going?" She asked.

I sighed. "It's time with my mom, and it's frozen yogurt. Two of the big things I'm not one to give up easily, and you know that."

She huffed. "Jesus, you two are attached at the hip."

I felt my face turn scarlet red. "What are you even gonna wear?" I asked, hoping desperately to change the subject. It's true though, my mom and I are super close, and even though the context of our bond explains that perfectly, she doesn't have that context. So from the outside looking in, it does seem a little strange. I don't blame her for being annoyed.

"Eh, I'll probably go to a thrift store or something."

"Oh hell no!" Piper interjected. "I'm not letting any friends of mine show up to homecoming in some raggedy 1800s wedding dress someone got murdered in! I'm taking you to my mom's boutique, and we're getting you a proper homecoming dress." She scootched closer to my girlfriend. "I'd like to get to know you better. One on one."

I shot Jason a look. I don't like how close your fake girlfriend is getting to my real girlfriend.

He met my gaze. I warned you this would happen.

"Well," Piper started, interrupting out telepathic conversation. "it looks like I'll be the only one out of all three of us going to homecoming with a boyfriend."

I hissed through my teeth. "Oh, yeah... About that. I just saw Hera get kicked off the committee."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, making his glasses jostle up onto his forehead. "Dang it, I knew the other shoe would drop eventually. Sorry Pipes, guess it's just the girls then."

She waved him off. "That's fine, we three have fun together, right Haze?"

"Yeah... It's really nice not being the kid in the corner anymore, y'know?" She leaned on Frank's chest. "Like, even when there's another kid in the corner with you, you're both still in the corner, and the corner sucks. But now I'm not in the corner, I'm over by the, like... I dunno, the proverbial punch bowl. And..." Her smile dropped. "... And I've left that other kid in the corner behind."

It wasn't hard to figure out just who she was talking about. "Hey..." Frank started. "... You can't drag people out of the corner. If they really wanted to leave, they would."

The words were well intentioned, that much was clear. And they seemed to comfort Hazel. But as for me... I'm not sure why, but I felt like he somehow deserved better than that. Better than being blamed for his own lack of a social life. But who else was there to blame?

I didn't want to make her feel guilty again, didn't want anything I said or did to make her distressed. Especially not after Annabeth told me about that video call. So I kept my big mouth shut and let her have this.

But as we started walking to class, I felt bad for him. And as I sat down next to him, I wasn't sure what to say, or if I should say anything. So... I didn't.

But I did look over at what he was drawing.

It was a sketch of a bridge.

The Manhattan bridge.

-

Nico's POV)

I hung the paint-smeared apron up on the rack and went to the bathroom to wash the remains of color smeared on my hands. While I was scrubbing them, the door opened, and I internally jumped in relief at the sight.

"Leo?"

His eyes locked with mine. "Oh... Hey." He turned away from me, clearly embarrassed. I just realized the last time I talked to him, he'd just told me some very personal things. Why he trusted me with them, I wasn't sure, but I was his closest friend.

I cleared my throat. "You, um, you look good." He did. He looked like he was actually being cared for now, properly washed and fed and put to bed.

"You think I'm hot, do you~?" He joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up... Oh shit, your hand!" I grabbed it by the wrist, looking down at the gushing cut on his finger. "You need to get to the nurse."

He yanked it back and went over to a stall. "No I don't, the shop teacher said I could just wrap it in toilet paper." He ripped some off and started bandaging his finger up. "If I went to the nurse every time something like this happened, I'd be here every day."

I sighed and shook my head. "Culo testardo."

"What did you say about my ass?" He asked.

"I said you're a stubborn ass."

He pouted. "Oh fuck you."

I laughed, stepping closer as he looked over at me, shoving his now bandaged hand in his pocket. "... So, um... I asked around, Percy told me Jason was taking care of you. I just... Wanted to check that he wasn't bullshitting me."

"Oh... Yeah, he has been. Taking care of me, that is. Not bullshitting you."

I smiled. "I'm glad. So..." I asked. I didn't wanna bring up his confession directly, but I needed to know. "... Is that where you've been staying? At Jason's house?"

His face drops a little. "Um... Yeah. He's... Been real good to me." His voice was quiet, soft. So unlike how he usually acts. "But I can't stay much longer. I'm not sick anymore, I've gotta go."

"Wait, what? Why?"

He shrugged silently.

I sighed. "You can't just say something like that and not explain."

"You wouldn't understand anyway."

"Whatever it is... I'll try."

He seemed to consider telling me before deciding against it, walking away from me. "It was nice talking to you." He told me over his shoulder, before walking out. I tried to follow him out, but I felt someone grabbing my arm. I tried not to grimace, especially when I saw who it was.

"Oh, hey Hazy. Shouldn't you be at lunch?"

"I already finished, and I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, good. Speaking of which, what'cha want for dinner? I could bake a lasagna! Or if you're sick of Italian, I can make that one chicken casserole you like."

"You're big into casseroles today, aren't you?" She nudged me with her elbow.

I rolled my eyes. "For the last time, Hazel, lasagna is not a casserole."

"For the last time, Nico, it's made in a casserole dish. Therefore, it is a casserole." She laughed to herself. "... Lasagna sounds great. But I wanted to tell you about homecoming."

"Oh, really?"

She nodded. "... Piper, Annabeth and I are all gonna go. None of our boyfriends can go with us, so... We're all going together instead."

"Oh, great! I, uh... I didn't know you wanted to... I mean, you never went to any last year."

"Well, yeah. Because I didn't wanna go alone."

I felt kinda bad for her when she said that, and guilty for bringing that up in the first place. "... Oh. I thought you just weren't the type to get excited about that kind of thing. But, you just..." I trailed off.

"... Yeah."

"Well... Y'know, you could've asked me to take you. If... If you really wanted to go. It's not like I had anywhere else to be."

She shrugged. "I know, but... We both know how you get in social situations, and-"

"Hey, I would've been fine. You wouldn't need to worry about me. As long as you're happy."

"Neeks, you're not my dad. You're my brother. And that means I have a right to worry about you just as much as you worry about me."

"Oh trust me, you don't wanna worry about anything as much as I worry about you. You'll be hearing voices within a week."

She laughed, but this time, it seemed a little... Forced.

I started getting concerned. "Um, are you ok? I'm sorry if I..." The bell rang just as I was looking for the right way to put it.

"It's fine, I'm fine." She turned away from me and started walking to art class, the same one I just left. I watched her leave, then realized it was time for me to go to lunch, and went to my usual table.

The old one, in the corner.

Leo was with everyone else, laughing and talking, cracking jokes like nothing was wrong. But I knew something was. I knew so much, and yet so little at the same time.

I sighed and pulled out my sketchbook, opening the page up to my unfinished sketch of the Manhattan bridge, adding shading, even pulling the red pen out to add a little color.

Almost, I titled it.

Almost.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

That Friday night, Piper and I were in the bleachers watching Jason play. He was easily the most talented, the strongest on the team, and a great leader. That's the thing that stood out the most about him, he was a natural born leader. Not a tyrant like his dad, but a leader.

And, because Jason is the best, he ended up scoring the winning touchdown. This is, ironically, where things went south.

Y'know how it's customary to dump a bunch of gatorade onto whoever it is that won the game?

Well... This was not gatorade.

The rational side of me knew it was tapioca pudding, but... I couldn't help but crack up a little. I hated giving them the satisfaction, but I'm admittedly very immature.

Cupid and Octavian, hooting and hollering in the stands, were easily found as the culprits. Because they admitted it. "Hell yeah! We got you good, Jason! Or should we say gay-son?"

He stared at them blankly, then took one long look at himself, and sighed. "Well, I'm gonna have to put this in the wash." Was all he said.

The two boys looked at each other, confused. Honestly, I was confused too. Why wasn't he panicking? I thought this was something he wanted hidden. Something he only trusted Piper and I with.

Cupid was the first to speak. "Oh come on. You can't tell me you're not embarrassed, right there in front of your girlfriend too?"

She just shrugged. "I already knew, a long time. Nice to have it out in the open, actually. Not having to fake date makes real dating a lot easier."

"And your teammates?" Octavian explored. "You can't tell me they'll be comfortable showering and changing next to a sodomite."

Some of the team groaned, some cackled. "Dude, we know this guy. He doesn't even hold hands without asking, we're not scared of him. And sodomite? Really? You sound like your hick cousin from Texas!" I assumed they were talking about the nurse's son, since that's the only guy I know that's from Texas. I'm pretty sure, anyway. But I've been wrong about things like that before. Can't believe I still thought Michael Jackson was alive.

They both shared a panicked look, one that I'd shared with my friends or my mother many times over. 'well shit, what do we do now?'

I laughed at them. I just laughed at them. "Wow, you two actually thought you did something, huh? You actually thought he'd be oh so mortified to be found out, that his reputation would be ruined! Dude, everyone loves him! You really think a little thing like being into guys is gonna change that?"

"Oh yeah?" Cupid turned to me, advancing on me. "And what about you, huh? Does your mommy know what a whore you are? Does she know how desperate you are to get laid, you'll do it with anyone?"

"Oh, I'm betting she does." Octavian answered for me, both of them circling like vultures. "After all, she's probably the reason why."

I froze.

If your mother keeps doting on you like this, you'll grow up to be a faggot.

Something snapped in me, but I kept my composure as I looked up at him. "You're just jealous that I have a mom like her and you don't."

I saw a flash of something in his watery blue eyes.

Pain.

Oh, I can use that.

A maniacal grin spread itself across my face, and I stood from my seat, standing tall above him. "Oh, I struck a nerve, did I? Is that what happened? You didn't get enough attention as a child, and now you're taking that out on everyone else? Oh, you probably think of yourself as some poor misunderstood victim, don't you? Well, you're not. You're a pathetic, sniveling brat and a bully who has to force people to kiss his ass with threats and humiliation, because he's so naturally repulsive otherwise that nobody wants to touch him with a 50 foot pole!"

Part of me wondered if I went too far when Octavian refused to look at me, or anyone but his shoes. Cupid slung an arm around his friend's shoulders and glared up at me. "Oh, you're getting something especially nasty for that, Jackson." He then stormed off, taking Octavian with him.

That was what sent me over the edge.

I smirked and turned to face the crowd. "Hey everybody! I'm bi-goddamn-sexual and I'm not afraid to say it! Nobody should be afraid to say it. Do you really wanna be lorded over by two snobby rich kids for all of high school? I don't think so! Now whaddya say we put these losers in their place!?"

I was expecting it to play out like the climax of some cheesy teen movie. Where, one by one, all us queer kids would stand up and shout it from the rooftops that we weren't scared of them anymore.

What happened instead was, I got punched in the face. Pretty hard, too, and by Octavian, of all people. The guy looks like he couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag, and I tasted blood in my mouth.

So y'know what I did? I turned around and spit that blood in his face, grabbing him roughly by the collar. "You think you can hurt me? You really think you can hurt me?" I laughed. "It's gonna take a lot more than that. A Jackson never backs down from a fight." With that, I threw him on the ground.

He pulled out his knife, but to my surprise, Piper pulled out hers, and slashed his hand, making him drop his before he could touch me again, then turned around to face Cupid. "I don't care if you're my brother, you lay a single hand on him, you're dead."

"Alright, alright, break it up, all four of you!" Cut Coach Hedge's voice from the crowd. "Your parents are gonna hear about this in the morning. For now, you need to leave."

"You don't have to tell us twice." Piper shot back, and we both went to wait in his car, while her brother and his accomplice stalked off in the other direction. Jason was supposed to carpool me to my apartment, and then Piper to the subway, where she'd meet up with Annabeth, and the two of them would go dress shopping. I wanted to go along, just so I could see her in a bunch of fancy dresses, but expensive stores like that have always felt really... Unwelcoming to me. Besides, one of these days, we'll be adults. I'll have bought my house back from the bank, she'll have renovated it how she wants, she'll be an architect, I'll be a marine biologist, and we'll both make enough money at our jobs that not only will I be able to see her try on a bunch of fancy dresses, I'll be able to buy them for her, take her out in them. And I'll have nice things of my own too, a proper 3 piece suit and tie. Maybe more than one. We'll have a wedding on the beach, and I'll have Jason as my best man, and either Mr. Brunner walks her down the isle, or we reverse the roles and my mother walks me to her. And she'll become Mrs. Jackson.

Or would I be Mr. Chase?

I like my last name. I'm proud of it. My mom fought to keep hers, and to pass it to me. And when I say fought... I mean fought. As in physically.

But she's just as independent as my mother. I don't wanna try and smother her. Maybe we should hyphenate? But whose would come first? Or maybe we should just keep our maiden names. Well, mine's not really a maiden name, is it? Because I'm not a maiden. I'm a bachelor. So my bachelor name. Yeah, that actually has a nice ring to it-

The car door slamming snapped me out of it, and I looked over to the driver's side. Thankfully, he was clean, but he looked like he was in shock, and his hands were gripping the steering wheel so hard I half-expected indents to form under his fingers, such a different reaction than the one he displayed in public. "Hera." He mouthed, and suddenly, it made sense. "Hera's gonna kill me."

-

Piper's POV)

He must've thought I didn't hear it. But of course, I did.

I didn't comment on it. Neither did Percy. I guess he just didn't know what to say. Neither did I.

He dropped Percy off at his complex, and I went out with him, since the subway was only a block away, and I had a knife if anything went wrong. Never had to use it, though, it was almost decorative. With the exception of tonight, of course. I went down the stairs, paid, and went to meet her.

I never tried to be glamorous, and she didn't seem to either. But she had an effortless beauty that I couldn't help but admire, her long legs elegantly crossed in her tight grey jeans as she sat on the bench reading a book, one I recognized as The Ones who Walk Away from Omelas. The light colored cover contrasted against her baggy, black sweater, which in turn contrasted with the white collared shirt underneath. A bright pink, almost red coral pendant around her neck was the only color in the whole outfit, save for the Tiffany blue shoelaces decorating her beat up white sneakers. My own outfit wasn't nearly that well put together, just brown hiking boots, holey black tights and an oversized, fuzzy multicolored sweater dress cinched with a thin brown leather belt. I didn't bother shaving my legs, I never did. Why should I? If there's hair, there's supposed to be hair. Speaking of hair, the hair on my head was barely even brushed, while her bangs had been painstakingly styled into a collection of braids barely long enough to graze her collarbone, each ending in a perfect princess ringlet, contrasting with the back of her hair, which, if I had to guess, was probably a 4b or 4c, whereas Hazel's was more 3b or maybe even 3a, and mine was just type 1, at least according to the free fashion and beauty magazines laying around the house. It went down to about bust-length when it was braided, but I assume she didn't have time to do that, or just didn't want to, because now it had simply been pulled back in a Tiffany blue ribbon, one that that I only noticed when she snapped her head up from the book she was reading to check her surroundings, quicksilver eyes startled and wary, as if she was a rabbit that just heard a twig snap. She looked like a model, and believe me, I've seen models.

She locked eyes with me and walked over, her warm hand slipping into mine, nails clean but bitten into the quick. "Heya, Pipes."

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. "Oh, hey Beth. Ready to go?" I asked. "The train should be coming soon."

"Yeah." She walked me over to a bench. "... What? Is this your first time taking the subway?"

I blushed. "Um... Yeah. Usually, I carpool, or just walk. I try not to walk places, though. Even in the daylight."

She tilted her head. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "I dunno... I just know someone's gonna see me and freak out."

"Why would they...?" She trailed off. "... Oh. Right. I kinda forget that you're famous sometimes. I mean, you just seem so... Normal."

"I do?" I asked. "I mean... I try to. I try not to let it get to my head. But it's kinda hard when you've been steeped in it all your life, y'know?"

She nodded. "... Well, since you don't know much about the subway, I'll have you know that it's always super boring. So why don't we find a way to pass the time?"

"Like what?"

"Like... Let's say you had to go to a deserted island in the middle of the ocean, and you could only bring three things, but they could be anything you wanted, what three things would you pick?" She asked.

I had to really think about that. "Hmm... I guess... Number one would be a walkie-talkie. Not a pair of them, just one, and the other one I would leave at my house. That way, I could communicate with my family, y'know, tell them where I am. And hopefully, they'd send a search party out to rescue me. Or at least help me figure out which plants are safe to eat, which are medicinal, that kind of thing."

She rolled her eyes. "I doubt they're that smart. Except maybe Silena. Maybe."

I nodded in agreement. "She'd try to help, at least. She's a sweet girl, and surprisingly brave. My mom kept talking shit about her late boyfriend, mostly his looks. While he was still alive, obviously, she's not a total bitch. And every single time, she'd put her foot down. Pretty aggressively too. Takes balls of adamantium to call out someone like her."

"You're a DC fan?" She asked. "My boyfriend's a DC fan. He'll swear up and down that he's more of a Marvel guy, but every time I ask what his favorite Marvel movie is, he always comes up with a different answer, usually just whichever one just came out. Meanwhile, you ask his favorite DC movie, it's always Aquaman. Always, always, always... Sorry, I got off topic. So you're into DC?"

"Eh, not hugely. Superheroes have never been my thing, to be honest. But I've seen enough of the movies. My dad was actually gonna play one of them, but then he turned down the role because one of his would-be costars started getting a little... Gross about me. I'm not gonna say who, or what they said exactly, or even what movie it was. But... Yeah."

"Yeesh." Was all she replied.

I sighed. "Yeah... Yeesh." It's not a huge deal for me, honestly. Maybe it would be if I didn't have strangers scrutinizing every fat crevice and every pimple and every bad hair day I've ever had since I was nine. Maybe it would be if I didn't have to put up with a mother that did exactly the same thing to me, to my sisters, to her coworkers, to herself. If anything, it's a happy memory, because my dad noticed. That's what stood out to me. That he noticed. That he cared enough about my comfort to nope out of the project, and enough about my privacy to never disclose why to the public. Which, by the way, ended up earning him a spot at number four for TMZ's 'celebrities' top ten worst financial decisions' list back in 2015. I miss that dad. I don't like this new dad, the dad that sends me to New York because I stole a car and he doesn't wanna deal with me. I know he misses that daughter too, the daughter that was disappointed, but understanding when he let her down, that would never do anything like steal a car to get his attention. But he's let me down one too many times, and I've crossed a really big line, so I guess we deserve each other.

I still miss him. I miss California. I miss the mild winters. This is autumn, and it's already so much colder than LA ever was. I'm homesick, but I know if I go back home, I'll be reminded of why I didn't fight to stay. At least here, people have learned to keep to themselves.

Suddenly, our train was here, snapping me out of my self pity spiral, and we got on.

"So why'd you say surprisingly?" She asked.

I laughed a little. "Jeez, I forgot what we were talking about for a second... She can't handle horror movies. Like, at all. She watched Coraline once, couldn't even look at sewing supplies for a week. Which especially sucked for her, because she really likes making her own clothes."

She shot me a quizzical look. "Really, now?"

"Yeah. She even made her own homecoming dress. Well, I shouldn't say made, because she's still making it."

She nodded. "... I don't blame her, honestly. Other Mother really used to freak me out. Still does, honestly. Maybe that's part of why I hated my stepmom so much."

"You have a stepmom?" I asked.

She tensed up a little. "Yeah... Anyway, what's the second thing you'd bring?"

I could tell she was trying to avoid the subject, which made me frustrated. I wanted to know everything about her, I didn't like all the attention being on me and what I'm up to and what my whole deal is with my family, just because I'm rich and famous, that doesn't mean I deserve or even want everyone to be obsessed with me.

But I also wanted to earn her. Earn her trust, her friendship, hopefully even her love. All my life, I've been given everything I want. All I had to do was ask nicely, and they'd hand it over, no questions asked. But I didn't want it to be that easy with her. You'd think it would turn me off that she seemed distant and hard to impress, but I liked that she didn't fall for just anyone, that she knew her worth. As bad as it sounds, I liked that she was taken. Because I wanted to prove to myself that I could wrench her away from one of, if not the most popular guy in school. And that started with being patient. Something I, admittedly, don't have much practice with. But it was worth it, to earn her.

So I decided it could wait for now. "I dunno... I guess a first aid kit."

"That doesn't count." She answered, with an air of finality.

"Seriously!? Why not?"

"A first aid kit isn't just one thing. It's a whole bunch of supplies packaged in one convenient bag. That's like saying you'd bring your purse, and then your purse would be full of a whole bunch of other stuff."

I rolled my eyes. "You're making this really hard. Fine, I'd bring a bottle of antibiotics. Or can I only bring one pill?" I asked sarcastically.

"You can bring a whole bottle, just not the entire pharmacy. What else?"

I stopped to think for a minute. "... A harpoon gun." I answered.

She nodded. "Right... For hunting. Smart."

"Oh... I'm actually a vegetarian."

"Really? Then why a harpoon gun?"

"I dunno, in case some big predator tries to eat me and I have to defend myself?"

"So... Would you eat it once it's dead? Or just bury it?"

"Well, obviously, I'd eat it. If it's already dead, why should I waste perfectly good meat?"

She nodded. "Gotcha. So, you just wouldn't go out of your way to hunt?" She asked.

"No. As long as they don't attack me, I won't attack them. They have just as much, no, more of a right to be there than I do!"

Her quicksilver eyes scanned my face. "You seem real heated about this. Are you an environmentalist too?"

My brows furrowed. "... Yes. I mean, I've been in interviews and shit, specifically about like, climate change."

"Oh... I don't watch that stuff." She answers. "It just doesn't seem important to me. Like... Even if they're discussing something really serious, it somehow always turns into a bunch of snobbish rich people getting high off their own farts."

I laughed. "Yeah... It does look that way, doesn't it? But it's hard not to come off as self-obsessed when the world is obsessed with you. Certainly doesn't help that they're heavily edited, or that the interviewers always steer the question back to your daily routine, your friends, personal anecdotes. Because people aren't really interested in the issue itself. They're only interested in how you feel about it. How good of an example you are. You use one disposable cup one time and all of a sudden, you're a hypocrite for saying anyone should do anything to reduce their carbon footprint! That was months ago! I just forgot my cup at home because I'm a human being, and human beings forget things sometimes!" I huffed, satisfied that I let that frustration out... Then a little paranoid. What if someone was recording us, and heard me say that? And they twisted that soundbite beyond all recognition until it sounds like I'm saying that we should all just dump a bunch of toxic waste into the ocean because nothing matters anymore? What if they'd been listening in on us the whole time, and heard me talk about the DC thing? Would they try and figure out which one it was, who said what? I don't want that. I don't want his words to get echoed across talk shows and tabloids until they hold no meaning.

"Well, no matter how many plastic cups you abstain from, it's not gonna save the world." She pointed out. "Businesses have to do better, there's no 'personal responsibility'-ing yourself out of it."

"That's what I keep trying to say, but they all just steer the focus back onto me, as an individual, instead of the institutions we belong to." I sighed. "... I guess that makes sense, though. People like being in control, or at least feeling like they're in control. And maybe when they see me talking about how I bring my own reusable cup to Starbucks, or how I always carpool or walk, or tonight, take the subway, because it's less of a strain on the environment, they'll think 'hey, I can do that too, and that way, I can help save the world.' So... I let them."

"But it's... Fake."

"Yeah, well. It makes them feel better. And who am I to take that away?"

"You're exactly the kind of person to take that away! Are you kidding me? You're oozing with charisma, if there's anyone people will let rip the bandaid off, it's you. And trust me, that bandaid needs to be ripped off, pronto."

I nodded. "... I feel like we're only talking about me here... Say, what would you bring?"

"Hmm?"

"The three things you'd bring to the desert island."

"Oh, right, right. Well... My knife first, obviously. That's a useful tool in any situation. Second, potable drinking water is extremely important, so I'd have to go with some kind of water filter." Her voice rang with authority, as if she'd been up all night deciding on these answers. "Third... Bug spray."

I looked over at her quizzically. "Seriously?"

She shrugs. "I'm scared of bugs. Well, not all bugs. I had to dissect a worm in middle school, didn't even flinch. It's really just... One type of bug in particular."

"What kind?" I asked. "Roaches, wasps, grasshoppers?"

"Nope... Technically, they're not even an insect."

I thought for a second. "... Spiders?"

She flinched at the mere mention of them. "... Yeah. Those things. At this point... I think there's something genuinely, psychologically wrong with me. I haven't gotten it checked out yet, but I'm like, 99% sure."

"Well... Why haven't you?"

"Because... Well, number one, I can't afford it. And number two... I'm ashamed. Normally, I'm so calm, so levelheaded, so... Rational. But every time I see them, I'm reduced to a a shaking, hyperventilating mess. And I hate it. I hate how helpless I become." She seemed surprised at herself. "... I don't think I've told anyone that before." She looked over at me, staring into my eyes. "Any of that."

"Not even your boyfriend?"

She shook her head. "I mean, he knows they freak me out, but... He doesn't know it's this bad. He thinks I just get a mild case of the heebie-jeebies."

I felt my face get hot. She trusts me. Suddenly, the subway train stopped, and inertia sent Annabeth lurching forward onto my body, her nose just slightly touching mine, wide and snub in contrast to my thin aquiline. I wanted to stay in this moment forever, staring into her eyes, the color of moonlight. She smelled like peppermint. She always smells like peppermint.

She cleared her throat and took my hand, standing up and taking me with her, leading me through the open doors of the subway.

-

Once the girl at the register saw me walking in, she rushed over to me. "Hello Piper! Is this your friend?"

"Oh, yeah. Just..." I pulled out my credit card. And yes, I already have a credit card, I've had it since I was twelve. "... Put hers on that too, and go on back to your desk."

"Are you sure?" She asked, shifting her focus to Annabeth. "Because I'm happy to help if you have any questions."

"I'll show her around, don't worry. Just take it easy."

She shrugged, turning on her heel to leave us be. "Alrighty, if you insist."

I remembered that her favorite color was silver, so I showed her that section first. She pulled out a very short, very loose dress, with spaghetti straps and a cowl neck, studded with chunky silver rhinestones. I thought she'd look really hot in it, but after a little deliberation, she put it back. After a while of pulling things out, putting them back, pulling things out, putting them back, I stepped in. "You do realize you don't have to worry about price, right?" I asked. "Like, that card has basically infinite money."

She perked up. "Oh, uh... Yeah. Thanks, by the way." She pulled out something strapless, much tighter than the first, light in color, smooth in texture, with a hot pink sash sewn around the empire waistline. She grabbed the pendant from around her neck and held it to the sash. It matched almost perfectly.

"Oh, you wanna wear that tomorrow night too?"

"Yeah. It's the only jewelry I own, so..." She admitted, taking the dress off the rack and draping it over her arm as she let me guide her to the changing room. "Percy got it for me, actually. Well... Not for me, specifically." She pulled her jeans off and kicked them in the corner before sitting on the bench and pulling off her sweater and shirt in one smooth motion, leaving her in only a soft blue lace camisole and matching panties. I checked her out, but made sure to be subtle about it. "He told me he got it when he was little, on a beach trip with his mom. Like, a two for one deal, that's how he got his shark tooth. And he told her one day he'd give it to someone very special. Ten years later, here we are."

I looked away from her, feeling guilty now, for having checked her out. For wishing to have her, inadvertently wishing a love like theirs to break apart.

But then, I thought back to her arachnophobia. How she only told me the full extent of it. She trusts me, more than she trusts Percy. She lets me see her vulnerabilities. She let me see her while she was having an emotional breakdown. Let me see her room, or lack thereof, seeing as she just sleeps on Mr. Brunner's futon in the living room. And my eyes could overcome their guilt. She was surprisingly muscular, lean and fit with a few chaotic pale lines streaking through her burnt sienna skin, undoubtedly from knife-fights in the street. She had the body of an alley cat that's learned to fight for its next meal. I wanted, so badly, to pamper that body, to soften its harsh lines with breakfast in bed, with vacations to Paris, to Athens, to anywhere she chooses, with delicate pastries hand-fed by yours truly. I want to give her everything her heart desires.

Ok, reel it in, brain. You're just standing there, thinking your thoughts, staring at her like a creep. Say something. Anything. Quick, before she notices that you haven't yet. "That's really cute. Um. I have to warn you, though..." My focus shifted to her bare legs, calves so beautifully defined. She looked like a movie star, and believe me, I've seen movie stars. I shook my head. "... Because it's strapless, you'll have to wear a strapless bra too. And those don't have much support to offer."

She waved me off. "I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm pretty lacking in the bust anyway."

I noticed. "Alright, well, I'm gonna, uh, go let you get changed." I jerked my thumb behind me and went off to try on some things for myself.

After some dresses, a few two pieces, and even a romper, I found that none of them felt right, so I went off to try on a suit. It was my suggestion to include more masculine options in the boutique. It was also my suggestion to only use sustainable materials in the packaging, and avoid the cheap, exploitative labor the fashion industry is infamous for. After all, if there's any company that can afford it, it's ours.

I picked out a black velvet suit, and a paisley tie with all the colors of the rainbow in rich, deep jewel tones. Looking at myself in the half-circle of mirrors, I checked myself out, the clothes hugging my healthy curves just right. Damn, I looked good.

And so did the girl behind me. She was gaping at me in awe, her silver eyes so wide they were about to pop out of their sockets. "Sweet mother I cannot weave..." She muttered.

I smirked, looking over at her. "... Lemme guess. Slender Aphrodite has overcome you with longing for a girl?"

-

Jason's POV)

Perseus Jackson, you have no idea how lucky you are.

That was the thought that kept bouncing around in my head as I drove him to his mother's apartment. His mother, not his stepmother who expects too much of him and just wants a little doll that she can dress up any way she wants and take pictures with him. Not his alcoholic biological mother who shuffled her responsibilities off on another, slightly older child and wasn't afraid to let him know how much she regrets having him and his sister both. No, his mother, who loves him no matter how low his grades get, no matter how bad he screws up. Even when she finds out he got in a fight tonight, she'll believe him when he tells her he didn't start it. And she'll probably be just delighted to find out that her little boy swings both ways.

He is so lucky. So incredibly, tragically lucky.

I pull over to let Percy and Piper out, then start heading home.

As soon as I walked through the door, Hera rushed over. "Jason, where on earth have you been? You're late!"

I sighed. "I was carpooling Percy and Piper."

She tisked. "Carpooling is just a nicer word for mooching. Speaking of moochers, that tub of cool whip somehow magically turned into shaving cream overnight, and I have a feeling your little guest is responsible." I almost laughed, but she wouldn't like that. "So now, I have to go to the store to get another tub, and it's six thirty now, so by the time we've eaten, it'll be seven, and what kind of store is still functional at seven at night!? That's right, Wal-Mart. Do you know what kinds of people that shop at Wal-Mart? What if someone tries to mug me!?"

My eyes rolled into the back of my head at her antics.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, young man!"

"Sorry, Hera."

"That's 'mom' to you."

No it's not, Hera. "Why are you in such a rush to get more cool whip anyway?"

"Because your father's gonna be here tomorrow, and I told him I was making banana cream pie to celebrate."

"For breakfast?" I asked.

"Well, for your father, it'll be more like dinnertime. He's been in Greece for the last few days, so it'll take him a while to adjust to New York time. Speaking of dinner, I've got it right on the table, so why don't you just sit down already?"

I looked down at the table. There were only two plates. She only made enough for two people. Well, she tended to pile my plate a lot more than I actually needed, meaning I'd have leftovers every other night. I'd gotten used to this routine by now, so I reached up to get a plate from the cabinet and made Leo a sandwich, since she hadn't planned on feeding him.

When I opened the door to the guest room, though, I saw him packing his backpack. I could see a few things still strewn around on the bed, hand sanitizer, deodorant, canned food. He had a blank expression on his face, but his eyes were red and bleary, meaning he's been crying. In my shock, I dropped the sandwich I'd made for him. "Leo, what the hell?" I asked, careful to make sure I didn't seem angry. "What are you doing?" On some level, I knew what he was doing. But it didn't register, not really.

He looked over his shoulder. "Oh, Jason... You're back."

"Yeah... I had to leave early." I explain, leaving out the part where Cupid and Octavian tried and failed to publicly humiliate me. "I... I don't get it."

He shrugged. "I'm leaving. What's not to get?"

"Why? Why would you...? I thought I was being good to you."

"You are. And that's the problem. I can't... I can't stay here. I can't get used to this, it's just gonna hurt more when you dump me out. Besides, as long as I keep moving, as long as I stay focused on living another day..." He shook his head. "... I really shouldn't be telling you all this anyway. But it doesn't matter, I'm not staying here much longer."

"Yes you are." I stated, very firmly. "It's gonna be winter soon, I'm not letting you fend for yourself in below-freezing weather. That's just not gonna happen. And I'm never gonna dump you out, I promise."

"Well not you, obviously. You're too nice. But... Your mom." Did she threaten to kick him out? Is that why he was crying earlier?

I stepped closer. "Step-mom." I corrected him. "And I won't let her. I'm gonna stand up for you, ok? I'm gonna fight for you."

He smiled softly at that, his eyes getting a little misty. "... Thanks. A lot. You..." His voice began to thicken. "You've been so good to me, Jason. I don't think I could ever pay you back."

"Hey... You don't need to pay me back, ok? I'm just trying to make you as happy as I can make you." I turned back, suddenly remembering the sandwich I made for him was now on the floor. I sighed and picked it up, throwing it in the trash before going out and picking up my own plate. I got an extra fork and knife, that way, we could share.

Just as I was about to get to his room, a small hand grabbed my shoulder, perfectly manicured nails digging into my flesh. "Really? You'd rather eat dinner holed up in the guest room with that boy, than at the table with your own mother."

I clenched my jaw. I don't have anything more to lose. I've played along with her for so long, and it's gotten me nowhere. Why not be impertinent? Why not be rude? Why not be downright nasty? "... Yeah. I would. Because unlike you, I love him."

The look on her face made me almost expect for her to bawk like a chicken. "... Excuse me, young man?"

"And that's step-mom to you." I spit, opening the door and stepping inside before I closed and locked it, which would enrage her further. She always hated it when I locked the doors.

I sat next to him and offered him a fork, and we both ate off the same plate. "... So... I heard about your little prank."

He smirked. "Genius, huh?"

"You're such an imp. I'd hate to get on your bad side."

"You could never get on my bad side." He laughed.

I laughed with him. "We'll see about that."

He nudged me playfully. "You couldn't hurt a fly."

I sight in contentment, falling silent until we were both done. I took the empty plate and set it on the nightstand, vowing to put it in the wash later, and turned back to him. "Hey... Can we talk? Like... Talk, talk?"

"Uh... Sure." He seemed nervous. I didn't want him to be nervous.

I took my glasses off and laid down, staring at the now blurred out ceiling fan, like it was something dirty that had to be censored in case any kids walked in the room. I felt him follow suit beside me. "Look... My dad's coming home tomorrow from a business trip, and if you really can't deal with Hera, I can ask him about getting us a house. I don't like asking him for things, I really don't, but this isn't about me. This is about you, what you need. So... Whaddya think? Should I?"

"I think that'd be... The best thing anyone's done for me." He hugged me tighter with one arm and laid head right on top of my heart, the other laid flat against my stomach. His eyes fluttered shut. "... Gracias, Jason..." He slurred out. "... Te amo."

Chapter Text

Annabeth's POV)

Before I even knew what was happening, she had me pinned against one of the mirrors, and she had her soft lips on my neck, my face nuzzled in her hair, the scent of rose and lavender clouding my mind. I felt like she could ask for ownership of my immortal soul, and I would give it to her, no questions asked. My own hair was untied now, the ribbon on the floor, along with my dress and her suit, and her fingers intertwined with the leather cord around my neck.

Holding my pendant.

The pendant Percy gave to me.

Percy.

Oh god. Percy.

She craned her neck up at me. "Babe... You went all stiff. Is everything ok?" She asked, her voice husky and breathless, eyes shining up at me like bright copper pennies, only tarnished to green and blue at the very edges.

My hands rose from her hips to her shoulders and pushed her away, keeping her at arms length. "Piper, you have to-" I stopped myself. I can't put all the blame on her. This isn't something she just did to me, this is something she did with me. Something I did with her. Something we did together. And I have to take responsibility for that. "... We have to stop. Before this gets any further. I don't know if you still love your boyfriend or not, but... I love mine."

She nodded, disappointed. "... Are you... Still coming to the dance with me?"

"Yeah. As friends." I emphasized, picking up the discarded clothes and putting them back on their hangers, back on the rack. I didn't let myself look at her, or any of her reflections, every angle of her on display, in her matching emerald green sports bra and boxers.

She handed me my ribbon, nails painted seashell pink and kept short. "And... After that?" She asked.

I made sure my fingers didn't touch hers as I grabbed it back. "After that, we'll keep being friends. Best friends. But not lovers."

"... But we already are." She protested. "So what do we do now? Just act like tonight never happened?"

"Yes!" I snapped at her, finally turning to face her. She stepped back, frightened. I wonder if she's ever been yelled at before. Probably not. I let out a heavy, shaky sigh, looking down at my bare feet. "... Yes. That's exactly what we do."

Neither one of us talked the rest of the night. Not as we both changed back into the clothes we brought with us, not as I picked out the glittery silver sandals I'd wear, not as the woman at the desk scanned our items, not as I walked home, because I walked home alone. Not very smart, I know, but I had a switchblade and I wasn't scared to use it.

Warmth rushed through my body when I remembered who gave it to me and when, followed with sadness, anger, pity, oscillating within me, ripping each other's throats out.
-

"I'm sorry, but there's only one bed available."

He looked down at me. "... You go ahead."

"But-"

"Don't argue with me. It'll start raining soon, I can't have you getting sick." He planted a kiss on top of my head, and pressed his knife into my hand. "In case anyone tries to snatch you." He whispered. "Don't let them know you have it."

I nodded, slipping it into my pocket, and stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. "You'll remember to pick me up in the morning, right?"

He smiled down at me, his fingers carding through my hair. "Of course. How could I forget my little owlet?"

I went in and laid down on the last bed. The one to my left, I noticed, held two people, a mother and her son, who looked to be about my age. She was still awake, tenderly petting his hair as he stuck to her like he sweated superglue. Little did I know, that boy was my soulmate.

At least... I thought he was.

-

When I got through the door, I looked over at the desk, where Mr. Brunner's banker's lamp illuminated his face, scrunched in concentration as his red pen scribbled through his students' assignments. "... You're still up?" I asked. It was ten at night.

"Indeed, my dear. These papers won't grade themselves, and I'd rather the task not take up the whole weekend." He looked up from his desk and wheeled over to me. "What happened to your neck?"

"Oh, I uh, bumped into a streetlight on my way back home." Shit. Guess I'm wearing makeup tomorrow after all.

He sighed. "That looks awfully nasty. You know where the heating pads are, right?"

"Yeah. Thanks, by the way."

"Of course, dear. Oh, you have mail." He held an envelope out to me. "I would've given it to you at dinner, but you were in such a rush."

As I opened it, I realized it was from Stanford University, which made my adrenaline spike all over again. Did I apply too early? Did I miss my chance of being accepted? I shouldn't've banked on the winter graduation. Did I use MLA format? God I must've sounded so unprofessional. No way would they accept me when I spent the first half of my French class cluelessly floundering around and praying to every god I knew for a passing grade... I skimmed over the letters.

Long story short, I got a scholarship.

I stayed frozen in place for a while after that. This is a huge deal, it's what my entire life has been leading up to! And now I've done it, and...

"Annabeth?" He asked. "Are you alright? You've been staring at that letter for a while now and you still haven't told me what it says."

I went with the reaction expected of a girl that got into Stanford. I smiled, laughed in disbelief. "Holy crap! I did it! It... I got accepted."

"Congratulations, Annabeth!" He smiled up at me. "We should celebrate tomorrow. Maybe have lunch delivered?"

"That sounds great. I'm gonna take a shower and get ready for bed." I excused, walking off to the bathroom and slipping on a shower cap before I hopped in. The shower was the size of a tub, but it was just a section of tile floor and some sliding glass doors. He had a shower chair, but I rarely used it. Only on particularly exhausting days.

This was a particularly exhausting day.

Why wasn't I happy? I should be happy. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me, I know my life is forever changed for the better, I have nowhere to go but up. And yet...

I shook my head and focused on getting clean. Once that was accomplished, I dried off, put my camisole and panties back on, as well as a pair of midnight blue drawstring shorts. He always told me I look good in blue. Then again, he'd always add, you look good in everything.

I threw up a little in my mouth at the thought of how I betrayed him tonight. We've been so deeply, profoundly in love, for years, and I cheated on him.

Cheated... That's a big word. It's a heavy word. It's a word you don't just drop into conversation. It could be worse. Nothing sexual had actually happened between us.

Yet.

And now, I'm abandoning him. Abandoning all my friends, abandoning Mr. Brunner. Four years, I've lived with him, still don't know his first name. Does he feel... Slighted, at all? Or maybe hurt would be a better word? He basically adopted me, took me in when I told him I was homeless freshman year, and by December, I'll be all the way in San Francisco.

Homeless, another heavy word. A word I never let sink into my mind.

I braided the remainder of my hair and slipped on my black silk cap, brushed my teeth with extra vigor to wash the taste of bile out of my mouth, and dabbed a few drops of peppermint oil onto my temples to prevent the migraines that have plagued me since childhood, and help ward off spiders too. He was already in bed by the time I got back to the living room, so I turned off the light, went to the couch, and pulled off the cushions, revealing the futon handle. I pull it up and lay down, burrowing under the covers before pulling out my phone, and plug in my earbuds too, selecting my playlist.

History Hates Lovers came on. Normally, I don't have much of a connection to it, but it's catchy and pretty, so I listen to it a lot.

But as I listened to it tonight, staring up at the ceiling, I couldn't help but picture the future we've always wanted. At least, that we've always said we want. I'd get married to Percy and have two kids, a girl named Josephine, but we'll call her Jo for short, and a boy named Oliver. I'd let Percy pick their middle names. No clue what he'd pick for Oliver, but I just know Jo's would be Sally. He's such a mama's boy... I usually find that endearing.

I don't know if Piper actually likes Jason, or boys in general, or if she's just pretending to. But I've always imagined them getting married and living next door to us, having kids of their own. And their kids would play with our kids, we'd go to dinner parties at each other's houses. And now, that picturesque future would be forever tainted by this... Tension between us. This magnetic force, pushing us together. We would never follow it, of course, but there would always be tonight. There would always be the knowledge that we wanted each other. Craved each other. Needed each other. We'd be right in front of each other, but if we took a single step forward, we would crush our boys' hearts underneath our feet. So I would have to selflessly, silently endure the lack of her lips on mine, her soft skin and soft body, her voice like honey... All for the sake of a man.

A man that I love. But still... A man.

And that man, and Jason, and the whole neighborhood will call us...

Close friends.

Besties.

Colleagues.

Anything but lovers.

I blinked the tears out of my eyes and paused my playlist, and soon, I was scrolling through my contacts, when I came across one that made my stomach churn. The number one reason I was so scared Percy would one day ask me for my phone.

DO NOT CALL

For the first time since last year, I'm tempted to. But what could I gain from it? The kind, protective guy I knew was gone, corrupted, ruined. And I was never gonna get him back. But I wanted to. I wanted him so bad. I wanted, so badly, to be his little owlet again.

But before my finger can tap the forbidden number, I got a text. From none other than the very man I'll slowly sacrifice my life for, little by little, day by day.

I entered the conversation and read it in full. 'hi there wise girl <3 just checkin u got home safe'

I smiled. 'yeah u?'

'yep'

'so how was the game?'

'we won obvs but thats not the most interesting part'

'what was?'

'Jason got outed'

My jaw dropped. Holy crap, he's gay too? What a coincidence, so is his girlfriend! Is what I would've said if I didn't know better. 'oh poor dude. I just hope his dad is better about this than Hera...' Is what I went with instead. I didn't know much about him, but I could empathize with him on some level. We're both high achievers held to even higher standards. And now, with this on his plate too, I just know he's stressed out of his mind.

'n e way how did ur shopping go?'

I sighed. 'fine' I lied. 'picked out a real nice dress' That much was true.

'wish I could see u in it lol'

'ill send u pics. goodnight, Percy.'

'night Annabeth <3'

I shut my phone off and sighed, closing my eyes and forcing myself to sleep.

It didn't work. Soon, I was reaching for the phone again.

My boyfriend, my scholarship, the foundations of the future I thought I wanted... I realized, tonight, that it was all empty. None of it mattered, none of it could make me happy. Nothing could make me happy. I feel like I'm in this big, dark hole. But really, it's me. I'm the hole. I'm the hole that good things fall into. And no matter how many good things fall into me, none of them will fill me up. And I just need someone who understands that feeling. I need someone who knows how to fill it, when nothing else will.

If I do what I'm about to do, I could lose my scholarship.

That didn't stop me like it should've. If anything, it egged me on. I don't deserve that scholarship anyway. I don't deserve any of this. I'm a fraud. I only got into Stanford because Piper helped me out with my French, and I only chose Stanford in the first place because I wanted to reconnect with my dad.

Percy would get freaked out. He might break up with me.

Good. I don't deserve him either.

I pressed the call button, hearing it ring for a split second before he picked up. "Hey baby girl, I missed you!" He sounded so happy to be talking to me. So genuinely happy. I was happy too, I was so genuinely happy to hear his voice again, even after everything he's done.

"Hi, Luke." I whispered, hoping not to wake Mr. Brunner.

Mr. Brunner. Oh, God. He'd be so disappointed in me.

"... Bye, Luke."

I hung up.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

"Nico!" I heard Hazel's voice from the bathroom. "Can you help me? This is the first time I've worn earrings since I got sent away, so now my piercings are really tight."

I walked in and tried to help her. "Am I hurting you?" I asked, constantly. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"You're not hurting me, you're fine. Just shove it in already!"

"But what if I hurt you?"

Eventually, I got it in, and stepped back to admire her. Her hair was down, but she had a braid on each temple, fastened in the back with a lilac butterfly clip, matching the lace overlay on her dress, which, underneath that, was dark purple and iridescent. Her sleeves were made only of that lace, and were slipping off her shoulders. They puffed up at the top, and then flowed down to her wrists at the bottom. Her waist was cinched with a dark purple corset, laced with a red ribbon, matching her lipstick, nails, and antique ruby earrings. It was also decorated with subtle gold embroidery, matching her eyeliner, shimmering and swirling like the lines an ice skater leaves behind after a particularly elaborate routine. The skirt went all the way down to the floor, so I couldn't see her shoes, but judging from the fact that she was somehow three inches taller than me now, I guessed they were high heels. In short, she looked like a princess.

And I was her knight, sworn to protect her from harm.

"... I wish Frank could've seen me in this." She sighed. "In person, y'know."

I put a hand on her back. "Hey, there'll always be the next one." I stood on the tips of my toes to kiss her cheek, since I had to do that now thanks to her heels. Just then, I heard the doorbell ring, and dashed downstairs to answer it. Annabeth and Piper were on the other side, both looking very awkwardly away from each other. Piper's hair was pinned up into a messy claw-clip bun, but Annabeth's was down her back instead of her usual ponytail, and she was in a very short, very tight silver dress, with a pink belt, pink coral pendant, and someone's black velvet suit jacket around her shoulders. Piper, on the other hand, seemed to have volunteered hers, leaving her only in a crisp white button up and-oh ok, I see what happened here.

They both looked surprised to see me. "Oh... Hey, Nico. Um..." Annabeth stuttered, looking at me with anxiety and... Guilt, almost. For what, I could guess. That wasn't fair, I didn't blame her boyfriend anymore, and I never blamed her. "... Is Hazel ready?"

As if on cue, she walked down the stairs, the lavish ballgown contrasting with our decrepit house. She smiled brightly at her two best friends. "Piper! Annabeth!" She squealed, running up to them and hugging the both of them tight. She tuned to Piper. "I see you stuck to your guns about not having a favorite color." She teased, gesturing to her tie.

"Well, most of my outfit is black." Piper defended.

"Black is not a color." Annabeth cut in. "Black is the absence of color."

Hazel turned her attention to the blonde. "Your favorite color isn't even a color, it's a metal. So I don't think you have any room to talk."

"Yeah," Piper started. "by that logic, this tie is white, since it's all the colors combined. But it's very obviously not. I'd never pick a white tie. White is probably my least favorite color, honestly."

"So, you have a least favorite, but not a favorite?" Hazel asked.

Piper rolled her eyes. "White is just so... Boring."

"But you look good in white." Annabeth argued.

Piper smirked. "... You'd look good in white too."

Annabeth cleared her throat, visibly flustered. "... Yeah. Whatever. You two ready?"

"Heck yeah!" Hazel cheered. She was so adorable.

I kept my smile plastered on as they piled into the hot pink Lamborghini, which I thought was Cupid's, but I didn't question it. I just waved them goodbye. "Have fun you three! And bring her back by ten, ok?"

"Alright!" Annabeth called to me before closing the car door. As soon as they drove off, my smile dropped. I was happy for her, I really was. But... I missed her. I always did. I hated being alone. I know that doesn't make sense, because I'm always alone. I choose to be alone. But when I'm around most people, I don't... Feel any less alone. I just don't have an excuse for feeling that way anymore. But when I'm with her... I don't feel alone. At least, I used to not. But for some reason, it's like there's a pane of glass between us. The one genuine connection I have, and... She's slipping through my fingers.

I look over at the couch. Dad's gone to the bar again. I know because he's usually home from work by six, when he decides to go, that is. He's so lucky Thanatos is his business partner and not his boss, or he'd be fired by now.

I started the long trek up the stairs back to my room, when suddenly, I received a text.

'hiiii neeks wanna get froyo w/ me? mom n her bf r gonna b there too, and we're watchin' a movie after'

Percy. A jolt of electricity stirred in my stomach at the thought of him. And here he was, asking me if I wanted to get frozen yogurt and a movie? Before I could respond, I got a second text.

'we got four tickets already but Annabeth bailed 2 go out w/ Piper and ur sister'

I swallowed the spit forming in my mouth. What movie? I asked, trying to sound casual.

'some horror flick called The Remedy, it probz wont even b scary'

I perked up at that. I was a fan of horror movies. Whenever I was up for it, I'd go into my dad's room and pop in one of his old dvds from the 90s. 'Well, most horror isn't scary to me anyways lol. So yeah, I think I'll go. Where's the address?'

Well, it's better than spending the night alone.

-

After freshening up a little, I headed out the door and walked down the street, eventually finding my way to the frozen yogurt place. I opened the door to find all three of them standing around. "...-on't have to keep spoiling me like this, y'know." Sally muttered.

"I know. But I like to." He stroked her face tenderly. "I like to see you all giddy." He cooed, pressing a kiss to her lips.

Percy looked away in embarrassment, catching my eye by coincidence. "Dude! Hey, we weren't sure you'd make it. We were waiting on you."

I felt my face get hot. "You didn't have to wait, you could've gone ahead."

He clapped me on the back. "Well, the cashier was out anyway." He gestured to a note that read 'out 4 a smoke, c u l8r'

Just then, Clarisse walked through the door, much to everyone's surprise, wearing a matching uniform apron and baseball cap. As soon as she got sight of Percy, she shot him a glare that could stop nearly anyone's heart with fear. "Oh... It's you. And you brought your mommy with you too?" She mocked.

"So, this is the second job Frank was talking about, huh?" Percy asked.

"Second job?" Paul asked. "How do you have time for homework?"

"Hon," Sally cut in. "you're a teenager! Why are you working so much?"

"Oh, because I like never having any free time and getting screamed at by random people I'll never see again because I told them they have to pay for things. Why do you think? For money, obviously! And don't call me hon. You don't know me. As for your question," Her eyes darted to meet Pauls. "I get other people to do it for me. Are you happy now, Mr. I-have-a-lucky-tie?"

"What's your damage?" Percy asked.

"You abandoned me at Hog Heaven, that's my damage. Now I have to ask the line cooks to cover for me if I wa-"

"Clarisse, there's no need to get aggressive. I know you've got a short temper, and I know you have reasons for that, but can you keep it under control tonight?" I half-pleaded-half-scolded through gritted teeth. "... For me?" I added the last part quietly, looking up at her with my best puppy dog eyes.

She swore under her breath, angry that it worked on her. "... Fine." She silently handed us each a paper bowl. Percy was the first to go, followed shortly by Paul. Sally shot her a lingering look of concern before walking off.

But I stayed behind. "... You didn't tell me you got a second job."

"Yeah, what's there to tell? I got a second job. Whoop-di-doo."

"No, this isn't a whoop-di-doo situation at all! What happened?"

"My dad, remember?"

I sighed. "You mean there wasn't a life insurance policy?"

She shrugged. "There is, but... I want it to go for his college." She grudgingly admitted.

My brows shot up, my voice softening up. "That's... Actually really selfless. I'm proud of you."

"Oh, shut up. Go get your dessert. Maybe it'll finally put some meat on your bones." She teased.

I rolled my eyes and walked off, looking around indecisively. There were so many different options, not to mention combinations between them. I considered the classics, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, a few more out there ones like cheesecake, birthday cake, Piña Colada, even blue cotton candy, which is where I saw Percy. But as soon as I saw the coffee flavor, I immediately went towards it. Coffee was, by far, my favorite flavor of basically anything, even though I wasn't a big fan of the black stuff. I remember one year, Bianca and I were little, and we tried to make dad tiramisu for his birthday, but we didn't know what lady fingers were, so we just used Twinkies. It was a mess, but he appreciated the effort.

I wish he appreciated the effort now. I wish someone, anyone, realized just how hard I'm working to hold everything together. But I don't want Hazel to feel like a burden, I know that feeling, and it's more painful than hell's worst torture. So I plaster on a smile, and don't dare let the cracks show. It's hard, it's so fucking hard, but it's worth it. She's worth it.

"Are you alright?" I hear Paul ask from behind. "You've been staring at that froyo for a while, totally blank expression. Having 'nam flashbacks or somethin' buddy?"

My face felt like it got set on fire. "Oh, uh, I, uh... No. I'm ok." I looked up and watched his brows furrow.

"... Nico, are you crying?"

"Huh? Oh, no, just... Allergies."

I could tell he didn't believe me for a second. "... O... Kay... But if you need to talk, I'm here."

"Yeah, ok." I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. It's fine, you're fine, don't cry. Please don't cry over frozen yogurt. "Um, bye, I guess."

"... Bye." He gave me an awkward little wave before joining his girlfriend. Looking at her and her son side by side, I could see the similarities. He was deeply tanned, just like her, with her pearly white teeth and thick, curly Greek hair. But hers was brown, while his was black, and his canines were still sharp, so he looked kinda like a werewolf.

I quickly turned back to the machine, pulling down the lever for the coffee flavor. I watched it slowly squeeze out into my cup like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

I was the last to get to the toppings, and I just got three. Hot fudge, caramel, and pretzel bits. As we weighed them on the counter, though, one of Percy's plentiful cookie dough chunks fell into mine. "Whoops." He laughed. "May have gone a little overboard on the toppings."

"A little?" I asked. His serving was taller than the tower of babel, piled high with, in addition to cookie dough, every blue topping they had to offer. Blue m&ms, blue marshmallows, blueberries, blue gummy worms, blue raspberry sauce, even blue star-shaped sprinkles. You name it, if it's blue, it's there. I know it's his favorite color, but this is just ridiculous.

Sally pulled out her card, but Paul shook his head. "I've got this one."

She blushed. "Thanks..."

"Oh, no problem babe." He put the credit card down and paid, and we all sat in a semicircle booth. I was on Percy's left, his mother on his right, and to her right sat Paul.

Sally nudged her boyfriend. "You wanna try some of mine?"

He laughed nervously. "I dunno, I'm a little scared. Your cravings have been out of control lately."

She laughed. "Hey, the baby gets what the baby wants."

"Baby?" I asked.

She smiled brightly. "Yeah! About seven weeks along now. I'm hoping for a girl, but as long as they're healthy, I don't really care."

"Whaddya think you'll name them?" Percy asked.

"I'm not sure... If they're a boy, I'm thinking of going historical this time, like Alexander, but I'm really not sure. I know exactly what I want for a little girl, though."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yep. I'll name her Estelle. It's... It was my mother's name." She got quiet when she mentioned that. "... Anyway, it's very graceful, don't you think Paul?"

He smiled. "It sounds perfect. Speaking of the baby... Do you ever worry that your apartment might be a little too small for another kid?" He asked.

She looked over at him quizzically. "Well... I mean, obviously that's crossed my mind, but I don't think I could afford to buy a house right now."

"No, that's the thing... I was gonna ask you to move in with me."

Her mouth hung open. "Really?"

"Don't you live in a studio apartment?" Percy asked.

"Well, yeah. But, see... My mom actually passed a few months back. And that sucked, but... Y'know. It was her time. And one of the things she left to me was a house. A really big, expensive one too, mortgage paid off and everything. Three stories."

"Wow..." Percy's eyes widened. "That's big. The biggest house I've ever lived in was a split level."

"The problem is... It's up in Ithaca."

Sally's face dropped. "... Ithaca? That's nearly four hours away!"

"I know. That's kinda why I wanted to talk to you about it. If you want, we could sell it, get something closer. But I was hoping, y'know, to be closer to my family...?"

She sighed, her eyes darting between her son and her boyfriend. "... I'll have to think about it." She concluded.

Just then, I heard the bell jingle, and loud, ugly sobbing coming from the most beautiful girl. Silena. Her black hair was tangled and her makeup was smudged, but her dress was untorn, pinkish-orange and flowing down to her knees. "I thought I could handle it, I really did."

"Woah, hey," As Clarisse handed her a paper bowl, her voice was a lot more gentle than I'd ever heard it. "what happened?"

She sniffed. "They started playing our song. Y'know, I want it that way?"

"Backstreet Boys, I'm familiar."

She calmed down a little. "Was that a Brooklyn 99 reference?" She asked, vulnerable, hopeful. "He and I watched it all the time. That scene was our favorite... That's how it became our song, y'know, it started out ironic, and then we started getting feelings for each other, and then..." She sobbed, and Clarisse touched her back. "Don't touch me!" She snapped. "... I'm sorry. Hold me."

"Uhh... Ok." She put her arms around the smaller girl as she sobbed into her apron, clearly uncomfortable. 'I was just about to close' She mouthed to me across the room.

I sighed, looking over at the other three people in my booth. Sally had her hand on her heart, chewing her lip. "Oh, that poor girl. Breakups are never easy."

"It's even worse than that, mom."

"Really?"

He hissed through his teeth. "Y'know that guy I told you about, Charlie?"

"That boy from your shop class?" She asked. "Poor guy. His poor mother..."

"Yeah... She was his girlfriend."

Her eyes widened. "Oh, dear. Paul, babe." She lightly smacked his arm, causing his head to perk up. "Let me out so I can help."

"I've got this." Clarisse protested, having heard us. "Ok sweetie, let's get you some froyo, on the house."

I smiled a little at the sight. She was normally begrudging in her kindness, which itself was reserved for a lucky few. So seeing her be openly, unabashedly nice to her seemed to mean something.

Paul checked his watch. "Oh crabcakes, if we don't leave soon, we could miss the movie!"

-

Percy's POV)

As we walked in with our popcorn buckets, things seemed pretty normal. They seemed to be pulling all their punches, though. There was a tense scene here or there, but nothing that could justify its title as a horror movie.

That is, until half way through the movie, when her hands flew over my eyes suddenly, and I heard Paul whimpering into my mom's shirt. "Mom, I'm not a baby!" I complained, taking her wrists and pulling them away from my face, stopping midway as I froze in horror.

I'm gonna spare you the details of the vegetable peeler scene, let's just say that by the time it was over, my popcorn was completely inedible.

I retched one last time before wiping the bile from my mouth with my sleeve and standing up. "I'm just gonna..." I took my trashed popcorn to the garbage can and tossed it. When I went back, I washed the taste out of my mouth with my cherry coke, and looked over at Nico, who seemed weirdly unfazed.

He just sat there, nose wrinkled in mild disgust, like he was watching a roach get smashed and not a human being getting their skin peeled off. Even with his face twisted into such an expression, he was a much prettier sight than the movie, so I kept staring at him, his strong roman nose, his silky black hair falling into those big doe eyes, his delicate, long almost skeletal fingers rummaging around in his popcorn. "Gnarly..." He mumbled to himself, his mouth full.

I cracked up, causing him to turn his head to me. "What?"

"Oh, sorry, I just never thought I'd hear you say 'gnarly', you don't seem like the type."

"Well, I don't mean gnarly like cool, I mean gnarly like gross."

"Gotcha... How are you not like, throwing up at this?"

He shrugged. "I've built up a bit of a tolerance to it." He checked his phone and started texting someone, as I leaned over, I could see the contact name: Hazy 💜 🐎👸🏿. Once he put it down, he seemed to notice I didn't have my popcorn, "... Do you wanna share mine?" He asked.

I nodded, before realizing he could probably barely see me. "Yeah, sure." I shoved my hand in there, and after a while, we settled into a rhythm.

He was so pale, it was easy to notice his nose and cheeks ripening to the soft pink of a lotus flower as his hand brushed mine, and his small, delicate mouth hung open just a bit as those soft, dark brown eyes bore into mine. God, he's adorable.

Stop it, you have a girlfriend.

And he's probably straight. Most people are.

Then again, he's never had a girlfriend, from what I can remember.

You were absent from his life for 3 and a half years, he could've gotten a girlfriend and then broken up.

But why wouldn't he tell me?

He doesn't have to tell you everything! Besides, even if he doesn't like girls, that doesn't mean he likes guys. He could be one of those people that just doesn't like anyone. He certainly acts like it.

Except now. Now he's acting like he really likes you.

He turned back to the movie, leaving me confused with a handful of popcorn. The rest of the movie was a blur, because all I could focus on was trying and failing to tamp down the feelings that kept rising in my chest every time I so much as looked at him.

-

As we walked out of the theatre, I looked down at him. Poor guy looked more tired than anything. "What time is it?" He yawned, desperately trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"Ten thirty." I answered. "You want a ride home?"

He looked up at me. "Oh, um... Sure. Thanks."

"It's no problem." I laid my hand on his back as I led him to Paul's car and told him the address. Now, it seems that Nico's sleepiness had rubbed off on me, because I closed my eyes, and the next time I opened them, it was to Nico sleeping on my chest. He looked adorable sleeping, his soft puffs of air barely audible his long eyelashes laying against his cheeks. He looked so much more vulnerable. Normally, he was so guarded, so closed off, like he was trying to make himself look strong. But in his sleep, it was like I got to see who he really was underneath all that. A soft, vulnerable, needy little kitten, who just wants to be cuddled and reassured and loved. And I wanted to do that for him, so badly. My fingers ran through his soft black hair, there was no denying it now. I had a crush on Nico diAngelo.

The brake startled him enough for his eyes open, and he immediately shoved himself off of me, blushing beet red before opening his door. "... Thank you. All three of you. For tonight." He shut the door and walked away, but as soon as he turned around and saw his dad, rocking back and forth on his feet, trying to jam the car keys into the front door lock, his face soured, and I felt those walls of his fly back up. I watched him jog up to the stairs through the open window to grab the keys from his hand and opened the door. "What am I gonna do with you?"

As we drove away, I felt my eyes close again, but I heard one last thing before I went completely under. My mom's voice.

"Something's not right between that boy and his father."

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

As I sat at the breakfast table, my mouth stuffed with french toast, I look over at my mom, who'd already finished hers. "... Do you think I should call the cops?"

I choked on my food. "What?"

She sighed. "I just... I'm worried about that boy, Nico? Something's not right at home. I just know it."

"Well... I mean, he doesn't seem... Scared of his dad at all." I argued, shrugging. "I dunno. He doesn't seem like a bad guy. He let me stay in his house, remember? Back when we still lived across the street from him."

"I know. But... Well, you never really know. That's the scary thing, they can be really nice to most people, and then..." She trailed off.

I nodded. "... Well, if we call the cops, they could end up making the situation worse, so we need to be careful. I'll have to ask him about it soon."

"Do you think he trusts you enough? To tell you something like that?"

"I don't know. But I have to try."

-

When I walked out to the street, I saw a beat up white Prius on the sidewalk. The driver was honking out shave and a haircut to get my attention, and when I looked closer, I realized it was Paul. He rolled down the window. "Hey sport, you want a ride to school? I've got an extra iced coffee with your name on it!"

Without a second thought, I hopped into the passenger's seat and grabbed the extra cup of coffee. "Thanks, da-... Dude. Paul." My face started getting warm.

"No problem, champ."

I immediately started slurping it down. I may keep a six pack of Red Bull under my bed, but I wasn't technically allowed to have caffeine, so I always relished the opportunity. I got the feeling that Paul would be getting in trouble with my mom later today.

"... So..." He cleared his throat. As I looked over, I saw that he was... Awkward around me. He had been since that fateful Tuesday morning. "... Look, I'm gonna cut right to the chase here, and tell you that... I know."

I nearly did a spittake. "... Know what?" I asked.

He sighed. "Everything. Your mother, she... Told me some things. Things that... Helped me make sense of your behavior last week. I..." He looked over at me, and I swallowed the mouthful of coffee that had been lingering in my mouth. "... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry that you've had to go through all that. And that I... Reminded you of that. I didn't mean to, I promise."

"It's... Ok. You're good." I replied awkwardly, wishing desperately that he'd change the subject. I don't wanna be talking about this, not on the way to school. It's gonna get all emotional, and then I'll show up to school looking like I've been crying, and all my friends are gonna flock around me asking what's wrong and if I'm ok, and I'll have to lie and say I'm fine.

"I... I went too fast. If I'd known everything beforehand, I would've..." He sighed again. "... I dunno. I would've been more cautious."

"It's ok. You don't have to feel sorry for me, and you don't have to treat me like I'm delicate. I'm not."

"I know you're not, Friday night was proof enough of that. Congratulations on your coming out, by the way." He paused. "I just... I want you to feel safe around me."

I felt guilty. I know that's unreasonable, but I still felt guilty. I felt guilty for not trusting him, even if it was only for a second. I know what it's like to lose someone's trust. And unlike Paul, that actually was my fault. I shouldn't've made so much noise, and then Atlas never would've woken up. It was a miracle that he forgave me. That he wasn't angry anymore. That he even considered me his friend. And now I'm stuck wanting more of him, his trust, his heart. I want what I can't have, everything I've ever wanted is something I can't have. Nico, a marine biology degree, a Maserati Spyder. There's no way I'm smart enough for something like that. Why can't I be happy with what I have already? Why can't I be content with Annabeth, and community college, and a used minivan? And now I'm not even thinking about Paul, even though he's right next to me. "... I do trust you." I say. "It's just... I don't know. I don't know what happened. I'm usually not like that."

"I know. But it's ok, y'know? I understand. It's ok to be scared."

I felt my throat tighten up. Why this is such a big deal, I'm not sure. I think I just really needed to hear that. "I-I know."

He looked over at me. "... Y'know, for once I'm actually grateful for the traffic. Because it means I can afford to give you my undivided attention."

I couldn't stop smiling, grateful tears stinging the corners of my eyes. "Thanks, dad." I croaked out.

His face lit up like a Christmas tree. "You mean that?"

I just nodded, not knowing if I could hold my tears back any longer if I spoke.

He broke out into a grin, his eyes gentle, the same color as my own. Eyes that I got from someone I never met. "So, Percy. How's it feel to have a dad?"

I felt the tears roll down my face, and let them. "Pretty damn good." I sighed, wiping them off of my face. "... Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"... I've got a... Bit of a crush." I confessed. "On someone who... Isn't my girlfriend. And I feel really guilty about it."

"Oh... Well, don't, weird crushes are totally normal at your age. I mean, when I was in high school, I had a crush on Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears at the same time. But it didn't mean anything. I still ended up marrying my wife. Well, my wife at the time, anyway."

I felt my cheeks burning. "Right... But that's the problem, he's not... A celebrity. He's so close, he's right within reach. And I'm scared that I'll do something."

He sighed. "... Well, have you?"

"No. I could never, not when I've got Annabeth."

"Then it's fine! As long as you love her, that should be enough to stop you. You do... Love her, don't you?"

"Of course I do!" I answered, with a certainty I didn't have. It was a question I've never allowed myself to ask. Of course I loved her, that was out of the question.

He reached over to my side, but stopped himself. "... Can I... Touch you?" I nodded, and he put his hand on my shoulder. "Percy... It's ok if you don't. Y'know that, right?"

"I do, though." I repeated. "... Looks like it's about to rain." I mumbled, desperately trying to wriggle out of the conversation.

"Oh, it does. Well, lucky I brought the umbrella then."

I smiled, grateful that he moved on from the subject as we pulled up to the school. He shared his umbrella with me, and we walked into class together, assuming our roles as teacher and student. Nico sat next to me, like usual. The poor guy looked exhausted, and I found myself wondering if he ate breakfast, or anything since Saturday night. I wanted to just ask, y'know? Ask if everything was ok at home. But if I did, he'd probably push me away, no matter what the truth is. So I'd try and build up to it.

His lesson was about trust. About characters that trusted the wrong people, or who refused to trust the right ones. How authors build trust, through trial by fire, common bonds, witty banter. How the reader has no choice but to trust the author, the narrator, and sometimes, that narrator betrays you, lies to you. How, even when they're truthful, the truth is painted with their colors, which don't always conclude in a full picture. A few examples from the class, but none from me, or from the boy next to me. Because trust is more complicated than all those authors let on, and we both know that firsthand.

As soon as I got out of class, Annabeth met up with me, kissing me on the cheek. "Hey seaweed brain... You ok?" Here we go. "Your eyes are all red. Have you been crying?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah." I answered easily, noticing her form-fitting white turtleneck, layered under a sky blue dress. "You look nice." She does. She looks beautiful, perfect. Why am I not satisfied with that? 'it's ok if you don't love her', his words rang in my head. No, it wasn't. How could I not love this? How could I not love the beautiful girl in front of me? "You look so nice in blue."

"Oh... Thanks." She answered awkwardly, rubbing her neck.

I tilted my head. "... Did you get hurt?" I asked. "You're rubbing your neck like you got hurt."

"Oh, yeah... Ran into a light pole."

"Is it bad?"

"It's fine, I've gotten worse."

I sighed. Part of me wishes I could've been there for her, back when she was a kid. She shouldn't've been in such brutal fights so young. Then again, I was dealing with my own shit that I shouldn't've been dealing with. But still, I can't help but wish I could've been the one protecting her, instead of Luke. I was jealous of him, of the time he spent with her. Of how suave he is. Of his scar. I know that's weird, but at least he had something to show for his pain. Something to point to and say, 'yes this really happened, and no, I'm not making it up or exaggerating. Look, I have proof right here, written on my skin.'

I heard the bell ring. "Right, uh... I'm gonna go to Biology. See you at lunch."

-

Annabeth normally sat between Nico and I. And Normally, Piper was on Jason's other side. But today, Leo took Piper's spot, and Nico stuck by Leo, forcing Piper to sit next to Annabeth. I didn't like that. I didn't like how close they were getting. But neither one of them seemed to like it much either, so I didn't complain. It made it so that Nico and I were sitting across from each other, giving us a full view of each other. He refused to look me in the eye, and I guessed our cuddling in the backseat last Saturday had something to do with that. Annabeth leaned closer to me than she normally would. "Hey... Wanna see the pictures from Saturday?"

"Yeah, sure!"

She pulled out her phone, and we all looked over them, admiring how dressed up the three of them were. They all looked so different, but they worked together, bounced off of each other. If I'd seen Annabeth in person, I would've been drooling. Yeah. Because I love her. I know that I love her.

"So, about Friday..." Jason started. Oh my god, I totally forgot about that. "... Did either of you get in trouble?"

"Trouble?" Leo asked. "What happened?"

Jason sighed. "Cupid and Octavian outed me, and I guess Percy wanted to show solidarity, because the next thing I remember was him yelling out that he's bi, and then a fight broke out, him and Piper both were in on it, but Coach Hedge broke it up before it could get too bad. That's all I remember, but I could have some things wrong, because they were all the way up in the bleachers, and I was down on the field."

Leo's amber eyes sparked with... Something. "Oh... So, you're gay."

He sighed. "Yes, Leo. Anyway, did either of you get in trouble?"

"I didn't." I answered. "I explained everything to mom, and dad backed me up."

"... Dad?" Annabeth asked.

"Paul." I clarified.

She hugged my shoulders. "Hey, congrats!" She kissed my cheek, leaving me warm. Yeah, I love her. "And by the way... Congrats on coming out too."

I smiled. "You're... Taking this a lot better than expected."

She furrowed her brows. "How did you expect me to react?"

"I dunno... I thought you'd be scared of me cheating on you or something."

"Percy... I know you. You're loyal to a fault, you'd rather die than cheat on me. And besides, I am too, and I'd never..." She trailed off, shaking her head before turning it to face Piper. "How about you?" She asked. "Was yours mad?"

"Oh, no. She was mad at Cupid though. Took away his license for a month." She snickered. "And we took his car!"

Soon, we were all laughing like a pack of hyenas. Well, except for Nico, who just sat there, barely nibbling on the lunch I'd brought him. He pushed it back to me silently, only about a third of the way finished, and when our fingertips brushed together, he flinched away like they were dipped into cold pool water, stood up, and went to the bathroom.

Jerk.

-

Nico's POV)

Shit, shit, shit. He's bi. Fuck. He's bi. He likes dudes, and I like dudes, and I'm a dude, and I like him, and oh god, why am I even thinking like that, he has a girlfriend and they're in love and everybody knows it and I'm a horrible person for even wanting someone who's taken! What do I do? And he doesn't know! He's totally oblivious to that tension, to the fact that I die a little inside every time we touch, every time I hear his voice or even look at him, how he's right there and I can't get to him and I want him so bad but I hate that I want him because it isn't right. And now I'm hiding out in the bathroom like a coward, and what if they think I'm homophobic? What if they think I'm in here because I hate them, or I'm scared of them, or something like that? Shit! I fucking hate myself, I really do.

Ok, calm down. Splash some water on your face, take a deep breath. What are you gonna do? You have two people, best friends, one of which you have a big shameful gay crush on, and one you don't. Both of them are into boys, you know that now, and now you're scared they think you're homophobic. Obviously, you need to talk to one of them and clear that up. Not too much, obviously, they can't find out that your gay, nobody can. Because word could get around to Hazel, and who knows how she could react? She's unbelievably kind, but she's also a southerner, so hearing that I'm gay, for her, could be like hearing that I'm a pedophile. Who would blame her for rejecting me? For being ashamed of me, for thinking that I'm disgusting? I am disgusting...

But they're not.

Great. Now I'm a hypocrite too.

You have to talk to Jason, the one you don't have a crush on. If you try to tell Percy you're cool with him being bi, you may end up saying something you regret.

Then that's what I'll do.

-

Once I'm done in the bathroom, the bell rings, and I meet up with Frank in the hall. But right after we waved to each other, Coach hedge reached up and grabbed him by the ear, which he had to stand on his toes to do. "Alright cupcake, in my office. We've gotta talk." He dragged him off, leaving me alone. Great. Just great. Now I don't have anyone to make sure nobody busts down the door while I'm changing.

I walk into the changing room, trying to ignore Percy's shirtless body, but that wasn't easy when I needed to talk to the guy next to him. "Hey... Jason?" I asked, looking up at him. "Um, can we... Talk? While I'm in the stall?" Kill two birds with one stone. Great thinking. Don't let it get to your head, though, you're still more worthless than a dead clam.

He looked over at Percy, who nudged him a little. "Go ahead, bro. I'll miss you, though." He pouted playfully.

He followed me to the stall, leaning against the wall, next to the bench as I walked in. "So... Jason... Look, I just wanted to say that I'm not upset with you. Ok? I'm not... Scared, or grossed out, or angry. I'm sorry for not saying anything before at the lunch table, I just... Froze up. But it doesn't mean that I don't... I dunno, support you, I guess? Because I do."

"I know." He answered easily. "... Can I... Tell you something?"

I laughed nervously. "Well, that depends, what are you gonna tell me?"

He sighed. "Well... They, uh, wanted to go after you first."

I stopped dead in my tracks, staring into space. Shit. They knew? How? I was so careful!

He seemed to be reading my mind. "They approached me with your essay from English class. Told me they hired the best lockpick they know. Anyway, they came to me, wanting me to help them print out a bunch of copies and paste them all over the school. I refused, obviously, and they tried to blackmail me. They told me it was either you or me. And judging from last Friday night's events... You can guess what I chose."

I slipped on my shorts and opened the door, staring up at him in amazement. This guy is my own personal Christ figure, letting himself be publicly humiliated, which for a teenager is worse than death, for my sins. "Why? I mean, thank you, but why? You didn't have to do that. You didn't have to sacrifice your reputation, your girlfriend... For me."

"It was about time I came out anyway." Oh, so he actually is gay. "Besides... I know your dad is catholic. And... I could never let them do something like that to... Well, to anyone, really. But especially not to you. Not after Ethan."

I clenched my fists. How dare he try to compare my father to Ethan's mother? I know he's irresponsible and flaky and has emotional outbursts sometimes, but underneath all that, deep down, I love him, and I know he loves me too. "He's not evil, Jason, he's just... In a dark place. And he doesn't need you running around, making accusations." I looked over to Percy, who was staring at us with wide eyes. Shit, how much did he hear?

My attention turned back to Jason, who just stared at me through his thick glass lenses, totally speechless. For a while, at least. "Accusations? Nico, I was just trying to protect you. I wasn't gonna go after him or anything, I just figured... Y'know, better safe than sorry."

My face burned scarlet from shame. "... I know. And... Thanks. Again. You really took a bullet for me."

"Hey, no biggie. I mean, I know we don't know much about each other, but... You're like a little brother to me." He clapped me on the back and walked out at the whistle, leaving me to process his words.

A little brother.

I haven't been a little brother in a long time.

Ok, don't cry. Whatever you do, don't cry. Don't let everyone know what a crybaby you really are.

I walked out, lost in thought, self-consciously pulling down my shorts, which I wished he wouldn't make us wear now that we're in October. I wish I had stuck to my arms that one night. I wish that night never happened, that we'd never had that argument. But it was important. She needed to get those things off her chest. And I'll never forget our reconciliation the next morning. When she told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her.

I couldn't believe it. Did she still think that? I doubt it. I doubt that she ever did. Even if she really does, she's wrong. I'm not the best thing that ever happened to her, I'm not the best thing that ever happened to anyone. I'm never gonna be anyone's favorite thing about life. I'll never be anyone's favorite person. I accepted that. Why did she feel like she had to lie to me? To make me feel better? She shouldn't have to do that. She shouldn't be so worried about me. She deserves so much better than me, so much better than my dad. Which is why I'm so glad she has Frank, even if there's some lingering anxiety.

I thought about the only time I told anyone about that anxiety. 'He's so big', I said, 'and she's so small.' What did that make him think of me? Did he think I was fat-shaming him? Because I wasn't, or, I wasn't trying to. But he's strong underneath that fat, like... Freakishly strong. And he's tall, and she's short, and delicate, and if he wanted to, he could pick her up and throw her around like a ragdoll. That's the problem. That's what scares me.

I looked ahead at the class, girls included. One girl in particular, Clarisse, was intentionally slowing down, trying to beckon me into conversation. "Hey... Kid?"

"What is it?" I asked.

She sighed. "... I need advice." She confessed. "There's this... Girl. And... I hardly know her, but she... She makes me... Feel things. Things I'm not used to feeling."

My brows shot up. Jeez, between Percy, Jason, Annabeth, Clarisse, and myself, was there anyone in my circle that was straight? I mean... Leo had to be. Right? I mean, he kept shamelessly flirting with every girl he came across, including Hazel. Not anymore, but last year. "Oh... You like girls?"

She scoffed. "It took you that long to figure it out? I'm probably the butchest bitch you've ever laid eyes on."

"I just... Didn't wanna assume anything."

"Well aren't you just a pure little lamb?" She teased. "Anyhow... The problem is, she's grieving. I mean, really heavily. And... I don't know if it's right to try to start dating her while she's all vulnerable like that. It... Feels a little predatory, y'know?"

I sighed, trying to think of something good to say. But... "... I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. I guess I'm not the right person to ask, y'know?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, who would be, mr. Smartypants?"

"... I guess... Silena." I answer.

"That's the problem... She's the girl I'm talking about."

"Exactly."

She stopped in her tracks, processing what I was saying. "... Huh. I mean... I guess you're right. Thanks." She sped up, signaling that the conversation had ended.

Shit, did I actually say something smart? It was an accident, don't let it get to your head.

I tapped out after three out of five laps, which was an improvement over my usual score. Though, I wished he would count the time I spend walking to school every morning, and home every afternoon. Because if he did that, I would never be expected to run a single lap throughout the rest of my high school career.

Once I was in the stall, I quickly changed, relieved to be back in my skinny jeans. I was so fast, in fact, that only then did Frank walk in, wordlessly taking my place in the stall. I sat on the bench, looking out for him like we do for each other every day now, when I decided I'd try and make conversation. "... So, what did Coach Hedge wanna talk to you about?"

He sighed. "He basically just told me I'm not doing as well as I used to, and I need to work on that. He didn't chew me out or anything. And he's right, I do. It's just... Sometimes I get scared, y'know? That I could... Hurt people, without meaning to. People I love. That I could literally hug someone to death. And now that I know what a jerk my dad was... I'm more anxious about that than ever. I feel like a bull in a china shop. But I mean, I've always been like that to some extent. Always handled everyone with kid gloves, even bullies. Even when they got physical, I never fought back."

"You get bullied?"

He scoffed, opening the door to reveal him fully changed. "I'm the fat kid, of course I get bullied. But I don't wanna send them to the hospital."

I stare at my shoes for a bit, letting myself process everything he was saying, before looking up at him. "Frank?" I asked. "I... I know this isn't my place, traditionally. But... I just wanna tell you, you officially... Have my blessing."

His face broke out into a grin. "You mean it?"

"With everything."

"I... Thank you. I-I could just hug you! Could I? Can I?" He held out his arms. Normally I'm not one to accept physical contact from anyone who isn't Hazel, but... I couldn't deny him. Hazel was right, he gives the best hugs. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you!"

I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't mean much, materially. I mean... It's not like you weren't allowed to date before."

"I know. It's just... It means a lot to me." He released me from his grasp. "Thanks, again. For... For trusting me."

"Hey, you've earned that trust. I know you're gonna treat her right." I patted him on the back. "Now let's get out of here."

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

"Hey, Nico?" Percy ran up to me just as I was about to part with my sister and walk home. "Um... I know this is a little sudden, but... Would you... Both of you, actually... Would you like to come over for dinner at my mom's tonight?"

I choked on my spit. "Would we like to what now?"

He laughed nervously. "Don't worry, I called ahead. I just, um... She's making cookies. So I thought, y'know, maybe you'd wanna get some?"

Hazel perked up at the mention of cookies. "Well, I'm not one to pass up a free cookie. You wanna come with me?"

I shrugged, trying to seem indifferent. "Um, yeah, sure. Let's go. Are you coming with us?"

Percy sighed. "I've gotta get to swim practice. You two go ahead."

-

When we got there, we were greeted by his mother with open arms. "Hi, Nico! So nice to see you again, and who's this?"

She put her and forward. "Hi, I'm Hazel, his little sister."

"Oh, nice to meet you!" She took her hand. "I didn't know he had a sister. Well... A younger sister, that is." She trailed off, before clearing her throat. "Come on in, you two. I'm making waffle paninis! Because I don't have a panini press, but I have a waffle press." She ushered us to the couch. "Do either of you need a snack or a drink, or anything? I can make you some chocolate milk if you want."

I was about to turn her offers down, but Hazel spoke up. "That sounds wonderful, Miss Jackson. Oh, and get some for him too, please? He's bad at asking for things."

She smiled. "Sure thing, sweetheart." She walked off to the kitchen, leaving us alone.

I huffed and turned to her. "Don't embarrass me like that."

"Oh hush, you know it's true."

She came back with two glasses of chocolate milk. "Here. So... Hazel, right?"

"Yes ma'am."

"So, how old are you?"

"Fifteen, going on sixteen."

"Oh, when's your birthday?"

"December 17th."

She clicked her tongue. "Poor little lamb. Probably get cheated out of quite a few Christmas presents, don't you?"

She shrugged. "Well, we don't really do Christmas anyway. I mean, we do the gifts, but we don't decorate or anything. Just watch movies together, gorging ourselves on cinnamon rolls. He makes really good cinnamon rolls, by the way."

"Oh... Well, what did you get?"

She smiled over at me. "He got me these really fancy watercolors, and a DVD of Secretariat too."

"They weren't that fancy. They were only like, 25 bucks."

"They're a step up from Crayola."

"And... Your dad?" Sally cut in. "What did he get you?"

She went quiet. "He, uh... Just gave me cash." He didn't even give her that, and I knew it. That made me angry, really angry. I can forgive him for how he treats me, but not how he treats her. She deserves so much better. And I try the best I can to give it to her, but I know it's not good enough. At least Frank can succeed where I've failed.

"Does he only ever give you cash?"

"Well, I've only had one Christmas with him so far, the rest were either in Saint Agnes or New Orleans. That's... Where I was born actually."

"So that's where the accent came from. I couldn't quite put my finger on it."

They kept talking to each other, and I kinda zoned out for a while. After all, I wasn't part of the conversation really.

-

Percy's POV)

When dad and I finally got home, Nico and Hazel were already waiting for me on the couch. We made our paninis, started eating. Hazel and mom were really hitting it off, but Nico was just kinda... In the corner, not talking to anyone, barely nibbling at his food. I almost expected him to melt into the shadow behind him, though if he did, that'd be really freaky. And really rude, you don't just leave in the middle of a meal.

I cleared my throat, having finished my sandwich a while ago. "So... Nico, I, uh... Can you join me in my room? We, uh... We need to have a talk."

He choked on his food. His face was flushed, eyes blown wide open. "Alone?"

I raised a brow. "Um, yes. Alone. Are you... Are you ok?"

"Just f-..." He looked over at Hazel. "...reaking peachy." He stood up. "Yeah, ok, let's, uh... Be cool about this..." He muttered to himself. I didn't get it. What was the big deal? Was he scared I would attack him? I'd never do that.

I went back to my room, and he followed behind me. I was nervous too, honestly. I'd just done this as a bit of a spur of the moment thing. I figured if we fed them, they'd trust us enough to be honest about anything going on at their house that shouldn't be, rather than just jumping right into that conversation with no warning. All of this was speculation, sure, but not totally unfounded. Even excluding Saturday night's concerns, that house looked like it was about to fall apart. And looking at the boy in question, sitting on my bed, he was skin and bones. His hair was flat and shiny like it hadn't been washed in a while, and the circles under his eyes were so dark that I wondered if he even knew what a good night's sleep felt like. His jacket was falling apart at the seams, jeans ripped to shreds. I'm surprised her alarm bells didn't set off sooner, honestly. It all seemed so obvious looking back.

I sat next to him. "... So... How are... Things?" I asked, trying to be as general as I could be at first.

He bit his lip. "Uh... Ok, I guess. My classes are alright, Hazel's happy. So things are good."

"And... Your dad?" I ventured.

"None of your business." He snapped.

I blinked in surprise. "... Ok, sore subject." I cleared my throat. "Nico, last Saturday, I... We, uh... We saw him. And, well, he... He looked...." The word felt slimy on my tongue, but I had to spit it out. "... Drunk. I'm just wondering... Does that, uh... Happen often?"

"No." He answered, all too quickly.

"Really? Because you didn't seem surprised at all. You... Looked used to it."

He looked down at his shoes, not responding.

I took a deep breath. "Look, I know this is gonna seem brash, maybe insensitive. But... It's an important question and I need you to not freak out. Or, do your best not to freak out. It's ok if you freak out a little, I under-"

"What is it?"

I swallowed my spit. This was gonna be hard. "... Does he..." My voice wavered a little, but after a few deep breaths, I was able to steady it. I was scared, no, terrified, of the answer. But I had to stay calm in front of him. I had to focus on his feelings instead of my own, I could tend to myself later. For now, I had to be strong. "Does your dad hit you?"

A flurry of emotions flashed across his eyes, too quick for me, or probably even him, to process, before settling on insult. "... What the fuck, Percy?" He stood up.

"I'm just worried about you." I stood to face him and held my hands out in front of me, making sure my voice was as gentle as possible. "My mom is too. Dad doesn't know, but... Look, we won't call anyone you don't want us to call. But if you two aren't safe, you need to let us know. We can get some sleeping bags, let you stay here for a while. Just tell us what you need."

"The only thing I need from you, either of you, is to trust me when I tell you that everything is perfectly fine." He insisted, his back now to the door.

"How do I know you're not just saying that because you're ashamed?"

"Are you kidding me? I love her too much to let her stay anywhere near someone that could hurt her."

"And if she weren't in the picture?"

He stayed silent, looking down at his beat up red converse. Did he even own any other shoes?

"Look, I care about you." I tilted his chin up with my fingertips. "And I don't want you running away this time." It was only then that I realized how close we were. He was looking up at me in shock, back flush against the door, and I was standing over him, one hand pressed against the door, above his head.

"Well, too bad." He glared up at me and opened the door behind him, before politely facing my mom, a complete 180 to how he was before. "Thank you for dinner, but I think it's about time we go home."

"Really? You didn't finish your panini." She tilted her head, concerned. He just shrugged. "Ok, well... I packed you two some cookies to take home."

He took the plastic bag in his hand. "Thanks, Miss Jackson."

He left, and she turned to face me. "So... How did it go?"

"Well... He said everything was fine, but..."

She nodded. "I understand. You wanna go to bed early? I know this was probably a lot for you."

I nodded and shut the door, leaving me in darkness and a guilty calm as I laid down.

Going into this, I was kinda scared that he'd just break down crying and admit to everything, because I wasn't sure I could handle it emotionally. I didn't wanna start crying in front of him or anything, and that was bound to happen if my suspicions were outright confirmed. But now, I kinda wish that did happen, because at least now, I'd have an answer. I wasn't convinced for a second that everything was 'perfectly fine', as he put it. But I wasn't sure how bad it was. Either it wasn't bad enough that he thought it warranted anyone's attention, or so bad that sending in the cops could make things worse. They show up, look around, not find anything they think is worth investigating, and then leave. And that's when shit really hits the fan. Shit, a lot of them tend to be abusers themselves too. I've heard about 2 out of 5.

Officer LaRue seemed the type. He was the guy my mom went to after I got hit for the first time. Far from the last. It would've been the last, had he believed us. Had he taken us seriously. But he didn't.

That's why I kicked him in the nuts.

In any case, I specifically said I wouldn't call anyone he didn't want called, and he clearly didn't want me to call anyone. So if I called the cops now, I'd be going against my word, and I don't wanna give him any more reason not to trust me, so there was nothing more I could do about it. I just had to be patient and wait for him to tell me himself.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

When I got to school the next day, I found it hard to look him in the eye. Not that I was upset at him, it's just... Hard to go from a heavy subject like that to talking about the weather. Or, not the weather. Why would we talk about the weather? Nobody cool talks about the weather. Just look outside, is it raining? No? Great, didn't need me to tell you that.

But the fog of awkwardness was cut shortly by my two favorite freshman, Travis and Connor, the stereotypically mischievous identical twins. Well, almost identical, considering only one of them was gay. Openly too, from day one, which is pretty impressive. Even more impressive that he snagged Will of all people, the goody two-shoes who still sounded like Hank Hill even after months of living in New York. I guess opposites really do attract, soft-spoken and outspoken, country bumpkin and city slicker, future nurse and class clown...

"Hey hey hey party people!" The other one, Travis, shouted right beside my ear, making me wince. They're both super loud and... What's that word Annabeth keeps using? Boisterous? I think that's it. "So, anyone wanna hear our big plans for Halloween?"

"We're throwing a house party!" Connor blurted out.

Travis crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You just had to spoil it, didn't you?"

"Hold on," Jason interrupted. "on Halloween? Because that's landing on a Monday this year."

They both nodded like maniacs. They'd make a good tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum.

"Have you two eaten Ergot or something?" Annabeth chided. "Nobody's gonna show up on a Monday! We've got shit to do!"

"Ugh, fine. We'll do it on Saturday, like normal people. But it's still gonna be wild."

I cleared my throat. "Um, there won't be any, uh... Alcohol, right?" I asked shyly. I wanted to go, I really did, but I wasn't sure if I could handle it if there were a bunch of drunk people hanging around.

Connor shrugged. "Nah, we're not that kind of people." Was all he said. I was relieved that nobody thought I was a pussy for that.

"And no bug decorations, right?" Annabeth asked. I was surprised at her. I thought her fear of insects only extended to the things themselves, not rubber replicas. She seemed to notice my confusion, because she rushed to explain. "I mean, it'll be hard to tell in the dark." She justified, and I nodded. That made sense to me.

Travis waved her off. "We'll be careful not to set you off either, Murder Barbie."

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up before you both end up as his and hers bathrobes."

That got them both laughing. "Yeah, because I'm hers, and he's his!"

Piper shook her head. "Whatever. I'm going. Beth, Perce?"

"Oh, definitely. I've got this great costume idea, you've seen Legally Blonde right?"

"Well, I wouldn't check if I wasn't interested. Hell yeah I'm coming!"

Leo shrugged. "What's the point of a party with no booze? May as well just go to Wednesday night youth group." He laughed. "You three have fun sober, but I'm opting out."

Jason sighed. "I'd love to, but... There's no way she'd let me. Not after asking dad about a house."

"Woah, dude, you asked him for a house!?" I asked. "I thought you didn't like asking him for things."

"I don't, but it's not for me. Well, not just for me."

"We're moving in together." Leo smirked. "Hera's a bitch."

Everyone laughed at that. Well, except for Nico. But if he heard the way she talked about him, he'd be laughing too. Or maybe not. He's not really the laughing type.

And he definitely isn't the party type. He shrugged. "I mean... It's a lot of people-"

"Oh come on!" Leo whined. "It's Halloween! If there's any kind of party you'd wanna go to, surely it's a halloween party."

"Dude, don't pressure him if he doesn't want to." I jumped in. "But... Yeah. I mean, your house used to be super decked out for halloween. The scariest decorations, the biggest candy bars. And he'd leave a take one bowl instead of answering the door, so you didn't even need a costume, so that was the only house on the block I got candy from."

"You actually went up and got the candy?" He asked. "I always assumed it was raccoons or something, because every other kid on the block was too scared of the decorations to get them. And yours was almost as bad for them."

"I actually remember going one year!" Annabeth piped up. "I heard these horrible rumors about both your houses, so I called them Scilla and Charybdis." She laughed. "And you darted between them like a madman."

"Yeah, well, I was a brave kid." I sighed, reminiscing about every year's halloween. I'd sneak out through the window with a pillowcase and raid their take one bowl. And.... and then I'd hide it all under my bed so I'd... So I had a stash of food, just in case she had to work late and I got hungry, and I couldn't go downstairs to the kitchen, because... He was there, and he'd hurt me if he saw me. I cleared my throat. "Anyway, um... Yeah. I never found them scary, honestly. Just... Super impressive."

"Yeah... He used to really care about things like that." He sighed, wistfully chewing the food I'd brought him. Leftovers from dinner last night.

I looked around. so, three of us that are coming, three that aren't.

Who was I gonna dress up as? Honestly, I was thinking Aquaman. The one played by Jason Momoa. I'm not normally one to go for DC characters, but he's my favorite of the lot, though my ultimate favorite is Spiderman, because I relate to him, and I don't really relate to any other superheroes. He's just a broke teenage boy who fucking loves New York, trying to make sure people are safe. Just like me, except without the spider thing. I don't bring it up around Annabeth, because I know she gets squicked out by bugs. Every time she asks, I go with my second favorite instead, Aquaman. But he's still a close second. He's so hot, I still have this absurd fantasy that I'm his secret lovechild or brother or something, because I wanted to look just like him when I grew up. Now I'm pretty much grown up, and... I didn't turn out like Jason Momoa. I mean... I'm still like, muscular, but I'm not... Meaty like he is. I don't have the sheer bulk that he does. I'm more compact, width-wise anyway. Compared to him, even compared to the Jason sitting next to me, I was... Well, a little scrawny. Not nearly as scrawny as Nico or Leo, though. That made me feel a little better. But now I felt guilty. Nico wasn't scrawny, he was... Beautiful. He was light, and ethereal, and small, probably super easy to pick up and carry over the threshold of our new house on our wedding day-wait what!? No! Bad brain! Stop romanticizing him being underweight, and stop fantasizing about getting married to anyone other than your girlfriend! What's wrong with you!?

The lunch bell rang, and I went to gym. This was gonna be one long rest of the day.

-

Nico's POV)

I was walking home from school with Hazel, like usual. For once, I was actually feeling ok. I told her about the party, she wanted to go, I was gonna hang back again.

When I got to the front door, however I noticed a familiar face, one I wasn't looking forward to seeing. "Oh... Hey, Alecto."

My father's secretary glared down at me, cigarette loosely hanging from her shriveled lips, which implied this one is far from her first. I never liked her, honestly, she scared me as a child. Reminded me of Yzma from the Emporor's New Groove. I instinctively stepped in front of Hazel, trying to protect her. "So apparently, he's still too quote-unquote 'depressed' to even answer the door." She huffed, handing me a brown paper grocery bag. "Just take these to him, and pray to whatever bullshit god your communion-pickled brain still believes in that you don't get like him... Honey." She sneered, as if that one word would be enough to stop her words from stinging. No, she knows they hurt. She wants them to hurt. She just wants to make you feel guilty for getting mad at her.

I looked down at my shoes and pressed my lips into a line. "Yes ma'am." I've learned not to talk back, even when she was talking shit about my dad. Why she'd dare to do so when he's her employer is honestly beyond me.

Her acrylic nails, long and sharp and painted an unflattering yellow, made all the worse with her bony, gnarled, crone-like hands, lifted up my chin, her other hand now holding her cigarette as she blew the smoke directly into my face. I held my breath in a vain attempt to not get lung cancer. "No mumbling, honey. It's disrespectful. Honestly, kids these days don't know the first thing about respect."

"You just blew smoke directly into someone's face, and you wanna complain about disrespect?" Hazel cut in.

I winced. "No, Hazy, don't-"

"This is exactly what I'm talking about! Back when I was a teacher, the kids would just get on my very last nerve, every single day. And then they'd act surprised when I disciplined them. It's not my fault they were so irritating! And this one, especially, he'd constantly misbehave, always fidgeting, and he couldn't shut up. At least for a while, and then magically, he couldn't talk at all! I preferred him like that, to be honest, he was less trouble after that too, almost like he wasn't there. But then it was like... He can't talk, he can't read, he can't pay attention, what am I supposed to do with that? Do you have any clue how hard it is being a teacher in general, when all your kids are normal? And having to give some students special treatment on top of all that? It's too much! And kids are little assholes, y'know that? Every single one. There's not a single child I've met that wasn't a big old pain in the keister."

"Well, if you hate children so much, why did you become a teacher?" She asked.

She snorted. "Oh, those words are familiar. His mother actually said that, along with some other very choice words, after she got called down to the school because I told her son I wish teachers could still hit their students, which made him cry." She laughed. The nerve of this woman. "Sometimes, the parents are even worse than the kids. I mean, it was about to get physical, and then the former principal wolf whistled at us and started chanting 'cat fight, cat fight, cat fight' while pounding his fists on the desk. And that made us both stop in disgust." This was the only part of her story that I sympathized with her at all. I'm pretty sure that counts as sexual harassment. "But when she said that, 'if you hate children so much, why did you become a teacher?' I was like... 'Y'know what? You're right. I quit. Fuck this bullshit, I'm leaving someone else to deal with it.' And I never looked back." She concluded, after an entire rant comprised of nothing but looking back.

"I'm sorry, ma'am." I try to raise my voice appropriately, despite how terrifying she is, once again putting myself between her and Hazel. "She just met you, she doesn't know any better... Ma'am."

She took another drag of her cigarette. "And what do we say when we receive a gift?" She asked, a condescending, artificial smile plastered on her face as one of her nails now scratched the underside of my throat. I wondered if she even knew how to form a genuine one.

I looked down, just as I suspected. Half a dozen bottles of red wine. "It's not for me."

She flicked my ear, which normally wouldn't be painful, were it not for her hawkish talons. I found myself wondering if she drew blood. "Wrong answer. Try again."

"Thank you." I recited through gritted teeth.

"Thank you... What?"

"... Ma'am."

"And you put those together, right?"

I sighed. "Thank you, ma'am."

"There. Now was that so hard?"

"No ma'am." She stalked off, leaving the two of us on the front steep, and I put down the booze for a minute. It was heavy, and my arms were still incredibly sore.

Hazel kicked a can to the side. "She's really mean." She muttered, before bending down to pick it up and put it in one of the open trash cans on our sidewalk. "I almost expected her to put her cigarette out on me."

"If she did anything like that, I would've throttled her. Here, wash your hands." I urged, reaching into my backpack for hand sanitizer.

"Thanks." She pumped some out and spread it on her hands, her gold eyes settling on the brown paper bag. "... What is it?"

I sighed. "... The only thing I can't buy myself."

She nodded, but didn't comment beyond that, so I just picked up the paper bag and opened the door.

The TV was off, the house was trashed, and my dad was staring off into space. "... Someone robbed us." He mumbled, in a monotone voice. "I heard Zeus is in town again, it had to be him. He was so angry at me for settling down with your mother, for abandoning the frat. He was the one to kick me out, but the truth never mattered to that spoiled brat. This must be his sick revenge."

My mouth hung open for a while. He said it with such certainty, like it was a concrete fact. Hazel ran up to her room in fear, she's probably never seen him like this.

But I have.

So I stepped closer. "... What makes you think we got robbed?"

"There was a glass on the coffee table when I fell asleep. And when I woke up, it wasn't there. I went to check if anything else was off, and..." He grabbed my shoulders. "Her ring, Nico." His voice was shaking. "It's gone. I can't find it anywhere, I spent all day looking for it. I can't-"

"You mean this one?" I asked, pulling out Bianca's old skull ring I kept tied around my neck with a leather cord, tucked under my shirt. "The one you gave to me for safekeeping?"

He stared at it silently, seemingly in shock. "... What about the glass?"

"I took it up while you were sleeping, so I could clean it. Dad, we didn't get robbed." I sighed. "... You were out again, weren't you?" I asked. That's the only explanation for why he'd act like this. He's normally so out of it he wouldn't notice if the house was on fire.

He didn't answer, he just let me go.

I walked past him, up to my room, and plugged my earphones in, cuddling under my thick black duvet as I listened to Francis Forever by Mitski. I feel sorry for him. And I'm angry that anyone could think he would harm me. The worst he does is ignore me. Which he does, constantly, even though he depends on me. But I can't blame him. I would ignore me too. I'm not particularly interesting, especially not compared to Bianca. I'm quiet, and don't have any skills. I mean, I can draw, but it won't win any awards. She was into archery, and she won basically every competition she entered. I remember sitting with him in the stands as we watched her, and he'd say 'that's my girl, that's my girl'! One of the very few times I would see him get excited.

She was social too, or tried to be, but it couldn't've been easy with me trailing behind her. I ruin everything, without having to do anything. And yet, she put up with me.

I feel bad for missing her, but I still miss her.

I miss her more than anything.

I fell asleep listening to her. I've had a long day, after all.

Chapter Text

Again, all Percy's POV)

After trying and failing to find a suitable Aquaman costume, I decided that gladiator costume from last year would just have to do. I was half-way through donning the pathetic bronze-painted styrofoam armor when I heard the cheerful little ding-dong of the doorbell. Now, believe it or not, Annabeth's just as bad about being on time as I am, though for her, I suspect that's got a lot to do with relying on the subway, since it's pretty hard to memorize. Then again, it's hard for me to memorize anything, so maybe she's got it down cold and just has poor time management. Either way, it's pretty early on, so it's probably just some kids. If she's not here in twenty minutes, though, I'll just drive over to her place myself.

Once I was dressed, I walked out of my room and bumped into my mom, who, in case you're curious, was dressed as the statue of liberty, prop tome and all. It even had the 'give me your huddled masses' quote written on it, which I only knew because she told me, because she was proud of it. I wish I were able to remember the exact words, but if you ask me, that sentiment describes her to the letter. "Hey sweetie! You're all ready for the party, huh?"

"Yep, gonna help you answer the door while I'm waiting though."

"Oh honey, you don't have to." She reached up to cradle my face in her hands. "I don't mind handing out candy to little kids. It's my job! Though, it may not be for long..."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just sent the manuscript to Zeal Inc, and we're hoping to get it published by Thanksgiving. So once the royalties start coming in... If they're enough, that is." She shrugged. "I can't stop thinking about how I'll have one of my own soon." She put a hand on her baby bump, which was just barely starting to show. "Again, I mean. And I'll be able to dress them up in costumes and take cute little family photos and make a scrapbook and do all the things that I..." Her eyes started watering. "... That I wish I got the chance to do with you."

I felt my heart squeeze a little. It was true. For the first twelve years of my life... We were those huddled masses. We were so focused on survival that all those normal childhood things seemed out of the question. And I don't blame her for that one bit, but it still hurts. And I know it hurts her too. I'm glad she'll at least get that with the new baby, and that said baby is gonna have all the best parts of my childhood, with none of the worst.

She took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds, before looking back up at me. "I love you. Just remember, hands at ten and two, and if you ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe-"

"I know, I know, get out of there and come home. I'll be fine, and I love you too." I took the candy bowl out of her hand and opened the door to greet the kids, only to find Annabeth and Piper looking back at me. It was only when she stood next to Piper that I really took in how tall she is. She's taller even than me by an inch or two, and I'm six foot straight. Piper's only five nine, if I had to guess, so Annabeth towers over her.

I also noticed that her hair was styled... Differently. And not just because it was down rather than in the high ponytail she usually kept it in. It looked almost like her usual braids, but rounder, and I couldn't find the pattern that braiding left. I couldn't put my finger on the style's name exactly, but it was very pretty. There was one strand on each side, both of which had light pink ribbons crisscrossed around them, matching the ribbon tied in a bow around her neck. In fact, pink seemed to be the whole theme with her, with her pink heart-shaped sunglasses propped up on top of her head, her glittery pink high heeled sandals and matching bikini top, which showed off so much skin it made my face glow with heat, and the hot pink fur coat layered over it. The only part of her outfit that wasn't pink, khaki pants, still had a bright pink belt threaded through the loops. "Oh, hey! Didn't expect you to be here so soon... Or with Piper."

"Hey, I said I was coming with, didn't I?" She asked. She was the complete opposite of Annabeth, dressed in a brown tweed jacket and matching knee-length skirt, light blue turtleneck, a matching headband, black tights, brown men's loafers, pearls, even a diamond ring. More bits of her hair had been freshly cut, but its length was more uniform now, an ear-length bob and bangs. Looking closely at the blue section of her hair, you could see the dark brown roots peeking through, but not Annabeth's streak. I guess she got a touch up at some point.

"Well yeah, I just... Thought we'd meet you at the party." I turned my attention back to my girlfriend. "You look nice. I don't think I've ever seen you in so much pink before."

"Thanks. You like my butterfly locs? Piper took me out to get them done."

"Yeah, they're really pretty..." So that's what they're called. "... You're really pretty. So... Who are you supposed to be? Barbie?"

"Ew, no!" She answered. "I'm Elle Woods, duh. Piper tried to get me to do her bunny costume, but I thought it'd be a bit too scant, so we decided on the sunbathing outfit."

My expression blanked.

She rolled her eyes. "From Legally Blonde? One of my all-time favorite movies!?"

"Oh..." I chuckled awkwardly. "... I really need to watch that."

"You really, really do." Piper agreed. "It's so funny! By the way, I'm Vivian Kensington, also from Legally Blonde."

That earned another awkward "Oh..." from me. "... So you're doing a..." I almost wanted to say couple's costume, but I didn't. Surely, they didn't mean it like that, did they? "... You've got matching costumes... And, uh... We don't." I added, my face flushing.

Her steely grey eyes rolled in response. "What's the big deal, Perce? We've never been the type of couple to match on Halloween anyway, why does it matter that I'm doing it with someone else this year?"

"It doesn't, it's just..." I shook my head. "... I just noticed that."

Piper gave me a look. "Sure."

I sighed. "Look, I'm not jealous, ok? It's not like I'm scared you two are gonna shack up or something."

"And again, I say, sure."

"... Whatever! Let's just fetch Frank and Hazel. They should still be at the apartment a few floors below us."

The three of us stepped into the elevator, punched the number, and found our way to Clarisse's apartment, which she owns now because her dad got called to a bank robbery and was promptly turned into Swiss cheese, and she's technically an adult now. Weird to think you can legally own your own place while still in high school, but I was glad her and Frank didn't get separated at least. I haven't talked to him much, but he's alright by me. A little awkward and shy and has a serious case of butterfingers, but he's really sweet. And Hazel seems to bring him out of his shell, too, being so energetic and bubbly.

Speaking of Hazel, she was waiting outside his door, dressed up like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, down to the pigtails and picnic basket. "Come on, Frankie! We're gonna be late!" She huffed, before turning around. "Agh! Um, hi! We're, uh, he's not..."

"Just a minute!" His muffled voice answered. "I'm just having a little trouble with the zipper. Clarisse, can you lend me a hand?"

"Ugh, you are such a little... There. Now go out with your little girlfriend and stop interrupting us!" Us? Who's us?

He opened the door a second or two later, in a lion costume for some reason. For a split second, I can see Clarisse on the couch, watching Nightmare on Elm Street with... Is that Silena? He closed the door before I could get a better look. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek, and he laid his arm around her waist. They truly were adorable together. "Do I look alright?"

"You look perfect, baby." She reassured him, before turning back to us. "Alright, are y'all ready?"

"Yep!" Annabeth piped up. "Let's pile in. Percy, you drive, I'll navigate, so I'm taking shotgun. The rest of you can pile into the backseat."

After a minute of staring at them as we stood in the elevator, something clicked in my brain. "Oh!" I blurted out. "Like, the cowardly lion! How did I not get that?"

I'm pretty sure everyone in that elevator was smacking their foreheads.

-

As my hands kept turning the steering wheel one way, and then the other, guided by the voice of my girlfriend in the passenger seat, the streets started to become more familiar to me, and I felt a pit forming in my stomach, growing and hardening into a stone as she said "Alright, we're here." I stepped on the brakes and stared up at the split level house I used to live in, trying to mask the flood of emotions I felt welling up inside of me as I opened my door, watching the other three walk across the front yard, oblivious to the significance of me stepping foot in there for the first time in 6 years. But soon after, she appeared in front of my open door, one of her barely-visible eyebrows lifted in concern. "Y'know, if you don't wanna be here-"

"No. I..." I sighed. Come on, get it together. This was supposed to be fun, don't let him ruin that for you. Weren't you supposed to buy this place anyway, to reclaim it?

Yeah. And now I can't.

I felt anger flare in my chest at the Stolls, but it fizzled it out as soon as I noticed. It's not their fault. "... I just, um... Just a little nervous, is all." I stepped out.

"You? Nervous?" She slipped her hand into mine. "What is this, The Twilight Zone?" She laughed and pulled me out of the car. She dragged me across the lawn, her hand so small in mine, but stopped on the front porch. "Hey... Can I... Tell you something?" She asked, sitting down on the porch swing.

I sat down next to her and smiled at the thought of her getting all old and wrinkled with me, and we'd stay out here, leaning on each other, on a porch swing just like this. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing, the Stolls moving in. I always wished I was closer to Montauk anyway, going down to the beach every day. And when I get too old to take care of myself, I'll just let the riptide take me under. Walking into the ocean, probably the most peaceful way to die. Unless you get the attention of a shark, but they're not as bad as they seem. Just wanna be left alone. I'm rambling, I shouldn't be. I should be paying attention to my girlfriend. "I'm all ears, wise girl."

She let out a deep, heavy sigh, and put both her hands on mine. And she got this intense look in her eyes, like she had just seen into the future, and was about to tell me how I die. Already, I start to fear the worst. "Percy... I'm on track to graduate this winter." She stated matter-of-factly, letting go of one of my hands. "And... I got offered a scholarship to Stanford."

I start to smile. "Oh, wow! Congratulations!"

She held her hand up, signaling for me to shut up. "I wasn't finished. Do you know where Stanford is?"

"Uh... No. Somewhere cool, I bet. Hopefully not too far from here."

"It's in San Francisco."

I felt like I'd gotten the wind knocked out of me. "... San... San Francisco. As in... San Francisco, California?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, as in San Francisco, Ohio."

"Ok, well... What's the big deal?"

"I'll be all the way across the country, that's what the big deal is!"

"Hey, it's fine. We'll just go long distance. You're coming back anyway, right? I can handle four years."

She shrugged.

I bit my lip. "... Right?"

"I mean... My bio dad's a professor there. I was kinda hoping to, y'know... Meet him. And maybe we can... I dunno, try again?" She shrugged again. "Look... I hate to ask this of you, because I know you and your mom are really close, and I know New York is your home, but... It's not mine. Mine is in San Franc-"

Suddenly, Frank interrupted us. "You guys coming in or what? There's snacks."

I shot up to my feet and sprinted through the dark at the mention of free food, Annabeth's hand still in mine as she yelped in protest. Eventually, I found the snack bar, and Piper beside it, who held a deviled egg in each hand. Only then did she let go of my hand, to accept one from her. They started talking for a bit as I stuffed my face with pigs in a blanket and brownies, but after a while, she froze up, and I looked where she was looking, to find out why. That was when I saw... "... Luke." She spat his name like a wad of gum that had long ago lost its flavor.

His hand reached out to hold her face. "Well hey there, baby girl-"

She smacked it away. "I'm not your baby girl..." She growled. "... Anymore..." Her voice softened just a little bit. "... What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, come on! It's my little brothers' first house party, there's no way I'd miss it. I may be pissed that dad stayed for them and not for me, but I'm not gonna take it out on them. Brought the good shit too, that'll show 'em a good time. Look, I'm dressed up as Dr. Who! Even got my car painted blue to match the TARDIS. And no, I didn't get an actual paint job for a Halloween party, I'm too broke for that. I just got a bucket of paint from Lowe's and... Yeah, that's gonna fuck it up. But it was a real shitter anyway, so who cares?"

"Get out." She pointed to the door. "I don't wanna talk to you, I don't wanna think about you."

"I know you don't mean that."

"Yes I do. You may have been my hero, once upon a time, but you've devolved into a mind-blowingly self-centered, childish, irresponsible, apathetic backstabber, and I want nothing to do with you!"

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, I have no idea what I'm talking about, do I? I got a scholarship to Stanford, and I don't know what I'm talking about!?"

He froze in place, slack-jawed, his hand laying on top of his heart. "And... You didn't tell me. The greatest achievement of your life so far, and you didn't even think to tell me?"

She bit the inside of her cheek. "... I did. I did think to tell you. That's what that call was about, a few weeks ago."

"Hold on," I butted in. "you called him!?"

She glared at me. "Yes. And then I hung up five seconds later, because I realized it was a bad idea."

"And a few weeks ago? Did you call him the day you found out or something?"

She looked down at her shoes, refusing me an answer.

I felt my heart sink. "You did, didn't you? And I texted you that night. You could've brought it up, but you didn't. Even though I would've loved to celebrate that with you, you turned to him instead!"

"Oh trust me, I wasn't gonna do any celebrating."

I cocked my head to the side.

She shrugged. "I... Felt like a fraud. So I called him, because I wanted to vent. And then I realized he'd probably invite me on a bender, and I hung up."

I crossed my arms. "... Why would you go to him over me? Do you not trust me with this sort of thing?"

"It's not that, it's just... People don't really expect things from you, the way they expect things from me."

My nails dug into my biceps. "... You think that's a good thing?"

"Yeah! It is! Because you impress people with 'slightly above average'. Meanwhile, I disappoint people with 'almost perfect'. As much as I love you, we're held to two wildly different standards, pushed into two wildly different roles. And there's no way you could understand the pressures that come with mine."

"And he would?" I asked. "He's even more of a delinquent than I am! Why do you even have him in your contacts?"

"Because he knows me inside out, he knows me better than anyone! Better than my bio dad, better than Mr. Brunner, better than Piper, and yes, better than you. We've been through some really rough shit together, hell, he's saved my life on multiple occasions. Has he done some terrible things? Yes. Am I mad at him? Absolutely. But that can't undo the ten years he's been in my life, or the one year we spent apart, missing each other with everything, all because you hate his guts and refuse to tell me why. So how do you think you have any right to tell me to act like that doesn't matter? To ask of me never to contact him again?"

Here we go again. I thought this was over last year, when she...

Wait.

I thought...

Oh my god.

I shot her a glare back. "I thought you blocked his number. You told me you blocked his number."

"Yeah, well... I lied! I kept a secret! And guess what? That's not even the biggest secret I've kept."

"Beth," Piper warned, her hands outstretched, as though she were approaching a wild animal. "I really don't think this is a good idea."

"No, you say whatever you wanna say." Luke insisted. "Don't hold back, hit him where it hurts!"

Her hands were balled into fists, shaking from rage or anxiety or some mix of both, her eyes screwed shut. "... I cheated on you." She blurted out. "With Piper. And y'know what else?" She asked. "I love her."

I froze, slack-jawed. People moved around me, talked around me, I tuned them out. All except for Annabeth. Her eyes were wide, and she wore a grimace, like she regretted saying that. She grabbed my hand, and I jerked it away. I couldn't bear to look at her. I couldn't bear to be anywhere near her. I wordlessly headed upstairs, to my room.

The bed was in a different place. In fact, they were bunk beds, one for each of them. New sheets, new wallpaper. New everything. They have no clue what happened here, do they? What really happened. How would they? Nobody could. I never told anyone. But it still hurt. I was still jealous, still angry. I never should've come here.

I grabbed a pillow from one of them and just screamed into it. Screamed like I had never screamed before, feeling all the anger and tension leave my body. All the emotion draining from my mouth into the soft cotton sheets and stuffing underneath.

When I was done, I was panting like I'd just run a marathon, and I looked up to the window. Someone else had propped a chair up there, so on a whim, I clamored up onto it, opening the window and wriggling onto the roof, hoping to clear my thoughts. I used to come up here as a little kid, whenever I heard... Bad things happening to her. I even slept on the roof once or twice. It was a place of comfort, a place of solitude. Sometimes, I'd stare at the moon, and remember that I was 70% water, and she was too, and I'd fantasize about that other thirty percent being stripped away from our bodies, and about being pulled up to the moon to live the rest of our days as watery silhouettes of ourselves, like the ebb and flow of the tide.

This time, though, someone else was up here. The short, impish boy I'd come to know as Leo Valdez. His hands were abnormally still, his brown eyes abnormally dull, staring down the neck of the beer bottle he held in his hand.

Part of me wanted to back away, but... He just looked so sad. And I couldn't help but ask something. "... Leo?"

His head shot up. "Yeah?"

"Is... Everything ok?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah." He perked up, put on his happy mask.

I sighed. "... Why are you here?" I meant to say 'why are you on the roof,' but I guess he thought I meant 'why are you at this party.'

He shrugged. "I wanted to get out. I have all this... Nervous energy, nowhere to put it. I should be happy, getting moved in with Jason. And for the most part, I am. But there's part of me that still can't accept it. It doesn't feel real, after being on my own for so long."

I nodded understandingly. He'd been a little more open about his past in the last few weeks, so I understood where he was coming from. I'd felt the same way when mom and I first got settled into our apartment. That one day, I'd just wake up, and it'd all be a dream. And I'd still be back in the shelter, or in that house. But there was something I've been meaning to ask him. "... Hey... Leo?"

"Yeah?"

I bit my lip. "... Do you... Actually like it?"

"Like what?"

"Sex. Y'know, with women. Or, girls I should say, since we're all, y'know... High schoolers. Unless... But that's not right. That shouldn't be happening to you."

He sighed. "I don't know if it's the sex part, or the girls part, but... No."

"Then why do you do it?"

He shrugged. "I'm good at it. And when you're good at something, you just wanna keep doing it, over and over, even though you hate it. Because... You just like being good at something. I mean... What else would I do? I suck at everything else. I mean... I'm getting better at school, but I'm still bad. And comedy's not enough to keep people around. I'm scrawny and ugly and just... No good for anything. Except that one thing I'm good at."

I nodded, silent. I understood that feeling too. But whenever I felt like that, I would come to my mom, and she'd comfort me, and... "... So you don't like girls at all? What about Hazel? I heard you had a thing for her."

He shrugged. "I dunno. I think I was just in love with the idea of loving her. I was so lost in the facade that it felt real, even though it wasn't."

That's... Surprisingly similar to my feelings towards Annabeth. I like her as a friend, and I like the story we've made together, meeting in a homeless shelter, the most unlikely place to find love, and finding it. But I've grown apart from her a lot recently, especially now that I know what I know about her. "... Y'know, when I first met you, I couldn't help but think about how similar you looked to Nico. But... Now that I've gotten to know you better, you remind me more of myself. Or... Who I would've become if... If I didn't have her."

"Annabeth?"

"No..." I don't have her anymore. "... My mom."

He sighed. "... Yeah."

I held a hand out. "You ready to go home?"

"Yeah... I'm tired."

I take him downstairs, and I'm greeted with the sight of a second unexpected guest, one who, like Leo, didn't have a costume. "... Nico!?"

He grinned at me, holding a red solo cup. "Heyy *hic* Percy. Leo, I *hic* thought you weren't coming." He stumbled over to me. "How you doin? Liking the *hic* party?"

I stepped away from him. "You... You're... Drunk, aren't you?" My voice wavered.

He giggled, his face flushed red, and downed the last of his drink. "Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" He grabbed my arm and held it up. "You just *hic* won the million dollar prize!"

I tensed up when he grabbed me and jerked away.

He looked hurt, and I felt bad, but you don't just grab people like that. "I'm sorry..." He slurred out.

I sighed. "It's ok, you just... Took me by surprise." I lied.

He smiled again. He's smiling a lot now that he's drunk. I like seeing this side of him, all giggly and carefree, instead of depressed and exhausted. That made me ease up a little, even if I was still tense every time I caught a whiff of his breath. "'S not my fault... I think the spike's punched..."

"No kidding." God damn it, Luke. "Well, let's get you onto the couch, get you some water." I know a lot about hangover prevention and treatment, mostly from watching my mom do it for... Him. Because he was worse when he was hungover. Much worse.

But I'm not scared of him. I just don't want him to be in pain. "Oh, um... No. No to the couch, yes to the water."

"Oh, ok. But where are you gonna-" He plopped himself onto the floor. "... Ok."

He shrugged. "My sister's over there. I can't let her see me like this. There's only room enough for one drunk in this household."

I froze. "... I'm sorry, what?"

"Oh, yeah. Dad's a real wino. Doesn't even use glasses, just chugs straight out of the bottle." He laughs, like this is somehow funny. "Anyhow, water?"

I nodded and walked to the kitchen, thinking. I can't let him go back home to that... Who knows what kind of shit he'll have to deal with? I need to get him somewhere safe, and his sister too. When I got back, he was laying on the floor, clutching his stomach. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"My liver is trying to kill me!" He moaned, grabbing a trash can and throwing up into it. "I made it sick and now it's taking its revenge..."

I sighed, kneeling down to give him his bottle of water. I happened to notice his vomit looked really watery. Gross, I know, but I'm looking out for my friend. "... Did you eat anything today?"

"I had coffee." He grinned up at me like he was proud of himself.

I smacked myself in the face. "Nico, there's a snack bar right over- Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there myself."

I walked over and saw Frank chowing down on some onion rings. "Oh hey dude, where were you?"

I sighed. "On the roof." I looked over to the couch, Annabeth, Piper, and Hazel all sitting on it, and Connor and travis both chewing out Luke in front of them. "... Frank, I'm gonna leave early. And I'm gonna take Nico with me. Because... I don't feel safe leaving him with his dad tonight."

His face paled, and he looked over to the couch. "... I'm taking her with me too, then."

I smiled, glad he got the hint. "Thanks, bud." I clapped him on the back and walked back to Nico, with a plate full of pizza and brownies. He was very clumsy with his hands right now, so I had to essentially feed him like a baby. I didn't mind though, he's...

He's cute when he's drunk.

I blushed a little before shaking my head. You have a girlfri-

... Well, I'm not sure if I do anymore. It's kinda up in the air. Did she break up with me? Or were we still...

I shook my head, feeling my throat catch, but I ignored it as he finished his last brownie. "You full now?"

He nodded, looking up at me with his beautiful dark brown eyes, nearly black like the night sky. I swear, I could almost see stars in them. He's so beautiful, I'm surprised he doesn't have a girlfriend.

I smiled. "Good. Now..." I held his hands and pulled him up off the floor, causing him to stumble into my chest. I got him in shotgun, and had Leo, Frank, and Hazel in the backseat, Hazel snoozing away on Frank's lap as he held her nurturingly in his arms. Piper and Annabeth would have to find their own way home.

I started driving to Jason's place first, since it was closer than the complex Frank and I lived in. I didn't hear anything from Jason, since the windows were rolled up, but he seemed relieved to know where Leo was. I saw them kiss, and my face heated up. "I get the feeling I wasn't supposed to see that."

"I don't think I was either." Frank commented, and as I got off their driveway, he gasped. "Oh crud, I forgot to call my grandma!"

"What?" I asked.

"I call my grandma every night, to make sure she's still alive." He quickly dialed a number and held it to his ear. "Hey, Nainai Zhang... Just checking in. Happy Halloween!" He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know you don't celebrate it, but I do. I always have. Mom did..." He sighed. "I know you miss her too, don't lie to me. I know you miss your daughter. Um... Speaking of holidays you don't celebrate, I was kinda wondering if you'd like to, uh... If you'd like me to come up there for Christmas. And maybe... Bring my girlfriend?" He asked, hopeful. "Yes, I have a girlfriend! And I'd like you to meet her very much. Oh, she's here, but she's not awake. No, I'm not in her bedroom. She's not in mine either, we, uh... She's just taking a nap in the car. Her name is Hazel, Hazel Levesque. She's fifteen... Well, she's said she wants to be an artist." He winced. "Yes, yes, I know. But she has a plan, I promise." A pause, then, he hissed through his teeth. "Her parents? Oh, well... Her mom's, uh... Dead. But before that, she ran a fairly successful jewelry store in New Orleans. So she's technically an heiress." Another pause. "Oh, no, she's far from lazy. She signed up for an apprenticeship at a horsemanship camp up in Ithaca."

Nico looked shocked. "You did what!?"

She snorted awake. "Whastha?" Unfocused golden eyes eventually locked onto Nico. "Nico, are you drunk?"

"Would everyone shut up!? I'm on the phone with my grandma!" Frank screeched frantically, his voice cracking up an octave or two. It promptly went down to its natural depth once he held his phone to his face again. "No, no, that wasn't her father. That was her brother. And no, he's not drunk. He's just, uh... Sick. And he's taken a lot of cough medicine, so it's making him a little loopy." He lied. "Dad? Well, he's alive. Not in very good health I've heard, but alive. And he's..." He sighed. "... He's a mortician. Look, I know. You're a very superstitious woman. But she's great! Once you meet her face to face, you'll understand why I fell in love with her."

She smiled wider than I've seen anyone smile before, and even though you couldn't see it on her skin, I could tell she was blushing.

He continued. "Not sure how we'd afford the tickets, unless I went to my sister's girlfriend, she's loaded." He sighed. "Yes, girlfriend. Would you stop using that word? I know, I know, you're trying... Oh, you'll pay? Oh, thank you nainai. I promise, you won't regret meeting her. We can all discuss the details in the morning, ok? Goodnight." He hung up and let out a heavy sigh. "... I'm so lucky I'm straight." He looked down at Hazel. "And not just because of her. But because I get to fall in love with a beautiful creature like you." He kissed her nose. "I love you. And I have to warn you, my grandma... She's a hard woman. Not mean, but... Hard."

She nodded. "... What was it you kept calling her? Nainai?"

"Yeah, it means grandma. It's Chinese."

Her eyes widen. "You know Chinese?"

He shrugged. "A little, mostly family terms, pet names. And no, before you ask, I don't know any Chinese curse words. I couldn't order at a restaurant, but I could ask where the bathroom is. Couldn't understand their answer, but I could ask!" He deflated a little. "Yeah, not very helpful. My grandma tried to teach me, but... I just couldn't get the hang of it."

I stopped the car. "Alright, we're here."

Frank and Hazel both piled out, and I was about to follow them, but Nico stayed behind, smiling at me. "I love you." He slurred out.

I stopped, clicking off the seatbelt. "Oh, uh... Love you too, man."

"No," He put his hand on top of mine. "I love you."

"... What?"

He started laughing. "I've always had a huge crush on you. I never wanted to admit it, but... I did. Even when I hated you, some small part of me still loved you. Maybe that's why I hated you so much, for so long, because I hated myself for loving you. I still kinda do sometimes. But I love you, and I feel like if I don't say it now, I'll never be able to say it again, so I'm telling you now that I love you." He lifted my hand up to his face, and held it to his cheek. "I love you, I love you, I love you..."

I slipped my hand out of his and reached for the door handle. "I-I have to go." I excused, opening the door and stepping out of the car before I took one last look at him, which I instantly regretted, because the expression on his face broke my heart. His big, dark brown eyes looked up at me, filled with disappointment and loneliness and desperation, his delicate pink lips slightly open, his hand reaching out for me before it slowly, longingly retreated into his lap, his lips pressed into a line, his eyes refusing to meet mine, shielded by the hair falling into his face. "... I'll be back soon." I added, hoping it would comfort him a little.

"Ok." He mumbled, his voice soft and vulnerable, like one wrong move and he'd break.

I closed the door and jogged up to the lobby, then the elevator, then home, to find mom waiting at the kitchen table. "Sweetheart..." She began. "I thought you'd be at the party longer, what happened?"

"I... I don't know. A lot happened. I met Nico at the party, and he was really drunk-"

"You said there wasn't gonna be alcohol." She noted, her voice uncharacteristically stern.

"There wasn't supposed to be! But then Luke showed up, and spiked the punch, and..." I sighed. "... Point is, I had to help him out."

Her fingers started combing through her hair again. "You didn't have any, did you?"

"Nope, sober as daylight."

She sighed in relief and hugged me, squeezing me a bit before letting go enough to look up at me. "You didn't have any trouble getting home safe, did you?"

"Nope."

"That's good, that's good. As long as you're safe, that's all that matters." She reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "My precious boy. Are you gonna be ok? I can tell something's wrong."

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll talk about it in the morning. There's just one thing I need to ask you about tonight." I sat down at the table, and she followed. "So, about Nico... Well, he's in my car right now. I was gonna walk him home, but... Well, I found out that..." I sighed. "... That his dad's an alcoholic."

Her hand rested on her heart. "I knew it. I just knew it. Oh god..."

I nodded. "... I told him I wasn't gonna take him back to that house, and... I came here to ask if he could spend the night here instead."

"Of course." She answered almost immediately.

I stood back up and put a hand on her back. "We'll figure this out, ok?"

She nodded. "Alright, are you going back out there?"

I nodded. "I'll be back." With that, I opened the front door and went back down for him. When I opened his door, he stepped out and immediately stumbled into my arms. "Woah, hey there buddy. You good?"

"I'm drunk." He slurred out. "God, I'm soooooo drunk. Why am I so drunk?"

"Because you had a lot of punch, I'm guessing. Now let's get you home, it's freezing out here."

Once he was inside, I laid him on the couch, making sure to lay out aspirin, water, and some crackers on the coffee table, and draped a nice thick blanket over him. I even gave him the stuffed shark off of my bed, just in case he needed something to cuddle. He just looked so sad and helpless, and I just wanted to take care of him the way my mother used to take care of me, when I was a little kid, and I got sick. Or... Hurt.

Even though she'd still have to leave for work, she always made sure there were snacks and drinks and medicine and anything else I might need, all in reach from my bed, so I wouldn't have to get up for anything but the bathroom.

And before she left, she always locked my bedroom door.

As I laid in my own bed, I stared up at the ceiling. The phone ring made me jump, and when I saw who it was, I got sick to my stomach.

I sighed. I knew I had to do this soon anyway.

I answered the phone. "Annabeth?"

"Percy, look, I'm sorry. And I know, ok? I know, sorry doesn't cut it. Sorry doesn't make it better. But... Look, I wasn't gonna tell you. I promise. It just slipped out in the heat of the moment."

I nearly laughed. "And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yes! I love her, ok? I love her so much. But I love you too, and I care about you, and I didn't want you to hurt. So I was gonna carry that secret to my grave, giving you a normal house and normal kids and a normal life, and slowly die inside, all for you! All to spare your feelings! It's a noble sacrifice."

"You never tell me the truth, never face any consequences, get off scot fucking free, and you call that a noble sacrifice? That doesn't sound like a sacrifice to me. It sounds like an easy out. It sounds like you dodging accountability."

"Yes, and I realized that at that party! Look, I'm sorry. Can you forgive me? Please, it was a mistake."

"A mistake? A fucking mistake!? What, did you just slip and fall, and suddenly your mouth was on her-"

"We didn't go that far! I stopped it before it got sexual."

I stopped. "... Sexual? I was gonna say mouth."

She sighed. "Oh... I thought you were thinking cunnilingus."

"Cunni-what now?" I shook my head. "Nevermind. It was about to get sexual!?"

"Well, we were in our underwear, so... Yeah. But we didn't go far, I swear we didn't!"

"How far did you go?"

"Well... She gave me a hickey."

"And you don't consider that far!? I've never given you a hickey! And now, I never will. Because we're done."

She froze. "... Percy-"

"Don't try to argue with me. Look... Loyalty is very important to me, ok? It's my weakness. Which makes this even harder, because I've loved you for six years. But it's also the reason I have to. You were disloyal to me, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for that. All I know is that you've damaged our relationship too much to go back to the way it was before, there will always be that scar, that crack, even if it's mended. And I think we'll both be happier if I let you go so you can go after who you truly love, because clearly, it's not me."

With that, I hung up and cried myself to sleep.

Annabeth was no longer my girlfriend.

She was my ex.

And that hurt.

Chapter Text

All Nico's POV)

Every single part of my body was on fire.

I knew where I was.

I always knew, after the first few dreams I had like this.

I jolted awake, my breath catching in my throat, shaking and hyperventilating and curling up into the fetal position. I hated this, I hated how tight of a grip it still had on me. I don't even believe in hell anymore, so why is the prospect still so terrifying?

Because what if you're wrong? What if it's real? What if it doesn't matter what you do, because your very existence is an affront to god? What then?

My eyes opened enough to focus on... Something else. Anything else.

The window.

It was still dark out.

They're both probably asleep.

Oh god, last night!

I told him everything, didn't I!?

Shit.

I start to panic, but I still can't wake them up. I have to calm down somehow.

My thin, unstable legs carried me to the kitchen, my shaky hands rooting around in the drawers for something sharp enough. Finally, a small knife was in my hands, and as I pressed the blade to my thumb, I felt my warm, sticky blood coat the smooth, cold metal. I stuffed it into my pocket, and was about to hurry off to the bathroom.

"Nico?" Asked a husky, half-asleep voice. "What are you doing?"

I froze. "N... N-nothing." I lied, damn my stutter, and the buckling of my voice.

He knows.

Suddenly, he hugged me from behind, his strong arms wrapping gently around my waist. He didn't say a word. He didn't need to. That one simple gesture was enough to make the tears begin to flow again, a slow and steady trickle at first, then a flash flood. I hated it, I hated crying, especially in front of other people, but I just couldn't control myself. "I-I don't know what's w-wrong with me..." I sobbed out, my hair falling into my face as he kept holding me.

"Hey, it's gonna be ok." I could feel his chin resting on the top of my head. "I'm not gonna pretend to know what's going on, but... It gets better. Trust me, whatever it is, it's gonna get better... You wanna go to the couch?"

I nodded, as soon as I sat down with him, his arms fell away, which made my heart begin to pang, but I still tried to keep it together. "Oh god... I'm sorry, this is... Fucking embarrassing."

He took my hand. "No, no. There's no shame in crying, ok?" He then looked it over. "... You're hurt." He noticed. "What happened?"

"I... I just had a little accident in the kitchen..." I couldn't stand to look him in the eyes.

He sighed. "Were you trying to make yourself something to eat?"

"Um, yeah." Sure, let's go with that.

"Well, I can make you something if you're hungry." He stood up. "Well, not make. I can pop some frozen waffles in the toaster. They're not blue, but..."

Despite everything, I laughed. "Seriously, who on earth is this obsessed with the color blue?"

"I am, what kind of a question is that?"

I roll my eyes. "Whatever... And... Thanks. You're, um... Being really nice."

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

My face went red. "... No reason. Just an observation."

He gets up and goes to the kitchen. "I should get you a drink too, you're probably dehydrated. Whaddya want? Coffee? Mom just bought this fancy blueberry creamer, maybe you'll like it."

I smiled. "That would be wonderful, thank you."

He made me the frozen waffles, but I only had room for one. The coffee was really good too, much better than the instant stuff I always drank. Maybe because of the creamer. Suddenly, my phone buzzed, and the message it displayed turned my bones into icicles.

'Dad's in the hospital'

I immediately stood up, sending her a text. 'I'll be right over, where are you?'

'@ Frank's, u?'

'I'm at Percy's, I'll go get you. Why are you at Frank's?'

'spent the night, y r u @ Percy's?'

'I'm not sure, I guess I did too. Last night was a blur. My head doesn't hurt at least. You didn't drink any of the punch, did you?'

'nope, just got really tired out. how much did u have?'

'I don't know, like six cups? Anyway, you didn't do anything inappropriate, did you?'

'gosh, no! just get down here already lol i miss u'

I sighed. 'Will do, sorellina.'

I hurried out of Percy's apartment, but he put his hand on my shoulder. "What happened?"

Another sigh. "... My dad's in the hospital."

-

Frank insisted he drive this time, and all four of us piled into his car. Frank and Percy waited in said car, and my sister and I went to my dad's hospital room. Apparently, he'd been in an accident, drunk driving, ran into a light pole. His arm was broken, and he'd have to stay for at least another week. I could only thank our lucky stars he didn't hit another car, possibly with kids or pets in the back.

As soon as I opened the door, seeing a nurse administering something to him, I felt a rush of pity and protectiveness for my dad. "What is that?" I asked the nurse.

He turned to me, his nametag reading Nurse Solace. "Morphine."

I choked on air. "Morphine!?" Oh no, oh dio. I can't have him getting addicted to that too. "Do you really think that's necessary?"

He sighed. "Who's the professional here, me or you?"

I swallowed. "You."

"Exactly."

I bit my lip. "... He must be in a lot of pain."

"Well duh, he wrecked his car. The doofus wasn't even wearing a seatbelt. Must've had a death wish."

"Don't talk about my dad like that!" I snapped. "... Sorry."

"No, you're right. Trash talking your patients is pretty darn gauche, ain't it?"

I scoffed. "That's one way to put it." I sat in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs by his bed, Hazel sitting on his other side, and took his hand. "Hey, papa."

"Hey..." He slurred out, his head lolling back to face Hazel. "... Who's this? Your girlfriend?"

I stopped in my tracks, and she gagged. "Ew, I'm his sister!"

"His... Sister? No, no, his sister's dead."

She clenched her fists at her sides. "His other sister, remember? Marie's daughter?"

"Marie... I've heard Maria... Marie, Marie, Marie... Oh! That lady I hooked up with a month or two after my wife died. Ugh, never should've done that. Biggest mistake of my life... What was I thinking? I guess I just missed her so much, I had to fill the void with something. She died giving birth to you, y'know." He pointed to me. "She spent her final trimester in hospice, knowing she wouldn't survive labor. But it was you or her, and she chose you. She declined treatment because it would hurt you. She loved you so much, before she even got to see your face." He turned back to her. "... Sorry, I went off on a tangent, who are you again?"

She didn't like that answer one bit, I could tell. "... The biggest mistake of your life." She answered bitterly.

I reached out to cup her face. "Hey, it's not his fault he's out of it. I mean, it usually is, but it's not this time. He's all doped up, ok?"

"He didn't recognize me. He recognized you, but he didn't recognize me. He doesn't even know my name! It's like he's never seen me before in his life!"

"That's not true, I've seen you at the house a couple times."

"Uh, yeah. Because I live there. Because I'm your daughter! What's my name?"

"Uh... I dunno, something old fashioned. Clementine, I think? Something to do with food."

She sighed. "Hazel."

"Oh... Man, I was way off, wasn't I?"

"I don't understand! Am I just... Harder to see? Is that it? Am I a ghost, and I just don't know I'm dead yet?" Her voice wavered, and I realized she was about to cry.

I stood up, my blood boiling with anger. "That's it. You made her cry. And when you make her cry, you make me very angry."

"Hey, you can't blame me for being out of it all those years! I was wasted out of my mind like, 99% of the time."

"Uh, yeah, that's a fucking problem, you worthless alcoholic!" You're just as worthless as him. "That's it, I hate you! I hate you with all my heart, and I will never forgive you for how shitty you made her feel." You make her feel worse. You know it's true, deep down. You make everyone feel like shit, all the time. Because you feel like shit, and it rubs off on them.

He looked hurt. Genuinely hurt. Good, he deserves to hurt. You do too, jackass. Then, he got angry. "... How can you dare hate me when you're just like me?"

"What? What are you talking about? I'm nothing like you!" He's right, you piece of shit. "I am nothing like you!" You're exactly like him.

"You're exactly like me! The only difference is that I drink," He yanked me closer by my sleeve, causing it to rip along the armhole almost all the way off. "while you do this!" He grabbed the cuff and shoved it up to my elbow, exposing my scars.

I was frozen in shock, and could only watch as her hands flew up to her mouth, her eyes trained on my exposed arm. "... I... I think I'm gonna be sick." She muttered, her voice thick with tears, before she sped out of the room.

"Hazy, wait-!" I tried to stop her, but she was already gone. I yanked down my sleeve and turned to my father. "Oh, now look what you did!"

"What I did? What I did!?" He screamed from his hospital bed. "You're really trying to blame all of this on me!?"

"Y'know what? Maybe I am! Maybe all of this," I slipped off my jacket, splaying my arms out like I was being crucified, "maybe every single one of these is your goddamn fault. Because you constantly repeat it, over and over, that you lost everything. That you have nothing to live for. I know you've never given a shit about her, but... For fuck's sake, you have me! Why isn't that good enough!? Why am I not good enough!? I-..." I looked over my shoulder at the door. "... Y'know what? I'm not gonna wait for an answer, I need to go clean up your mess. Just like I always do."

With that, I headed to the ladies' room, gently creaking open the door, just enough to peek my head out, finding her hunched over a toilet seat, retching and sobbing, one of her hands gripping her hair in a makeshift ponytail, her other arm laid on top of the seat, hiding her face from me.

"... Hazy?" I asked. As soon as she saw me, she ran to give me another one of her infamous bone-crushing hugs, making me stumble back a little into the wall. But this time, she didn't let go a split second later. She didn't even loosen her grip. She just started bawling her eyes out, almost screaming. "Woah, hey, don't cry..." I stroked her hair, fighting back tears of my own. "... It's gonna be ok. Please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry..."

She looked up at me, still holding onto me like I'd disappear the moment her arms dropped. "Nico, you bozo, of course I'm gonna cry! I just found out you've been... I-I can't even say it. I... Oh god..." She buried her face in my chest again. "... I love you. You know that, right? You know that I love you, don't you? Tell me you do. Please, tell me you know that I love you, and I don't ever wanna lose you. You have to know."

The desperation in her voice broke my heart, and I started crying as I wrapped my arms around her. "I... I know. And I'm sorry. I never wanted you to see me like this."

That only seemed to make her worse, she was crying so much, part of my brain wondered if she would shrivel up like a a raisin.

"I... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I repeated. "Never again, ok? I promise."

She stepped away and sighed. "... Ok." I almost didn't hear her, her voice was so strained from crying.

"I love you too. I'm sorry dad's been such a jerk." I lifted her chin up to face me. "Do you wanna wait here while I get our stuff, so you don't have to go into his room?"

She nodded, and gave me one last hug before I left.

When I got back into his hospital room, I glared over at him, collecting my torn jacket from the hospital floor. "... Well?" I asked. "Aren't you gonna apologize?"

"For... What?"

I gestured to my scars before slipping my jacket back on. At this point, it was totally unwearable, but I needed to cover them with something, lest the entire hospital find me out.

He sighed. "Right... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight. I'm still not."

"Yeah, because you're drunk."

"No... Because of the morphine. Y'know, because I got in a car crash."

"Yeah. Because you got drunk."

He didn't have anything to say to that.

I sat down next to him. "... How long have you known?"

"... Do you remember that one morning, we ran into each other in the kitchen, you had your arms all bandaged up?"

I shook my head.

"Well... I did. And I knew exactly what was under there."

"And you didn't say anything?" I asked.

"What was I supposed to say!?" He asked, getting defensive.

"Anything! You could've said anything, to at least let me know that you gave a shit about me, that you wanted me to be okay! But I guess that was too much to ask. Because you don't. I'm sick of this, I'm sick of making excuses for you when you so obviously don't care about me."

"But I do. I... I love you. I love you so much it hurts. And I have to numb myself somehow. I've already lost one child, I can't lose another, especially not by his own hand."

"Then why didn't you try to make sure you didn't lose me?"

"Because I don't know how. If I did, I would. But I don't. I don't know how to help you. And I'm sorry."

I didn't dignify that with a response.

He sighed. "Look, I get it, ok? I know you hate me. Because that's what teenage boys do, they hate their fathers. Even though they end up just like them."

"I'm not gonna end up like you! I'm never gonna let myself end up like you, y'know how? Y'know why?" I asked. "Because I don't put my pain on display like you do, putting on a show for everyone to see. I try to hide it, I try to deny it, I try to convince everyone around me that I'm okay, and that they don't need to worry about me, because I don't wanna be a burden, because I'm not selfish!"

He grimaced at my harsh tone. Serves him right. "My point is... Can you just do one little favor for me, when you get home?"

"What? What is the newest edition to the laundry list of things I have to do for you?"

"I... I want you to gather up all my booze, and pour it down the kitchen sink."

I felt the wind get knocked out of me, my anger melting like snow on the first warm day of spring. "... You mean you're...?" I put my hand over my heart. "... You'll stop?"

"Never again, I promise." He gave me a smile.

I sighed. "... I will. Goodbye, get well soon. I'm still mad at you, though."

"I understand."

I slipped on the ripped jacket and collected her purse before I went back out to get her. Surprisingly, though, she was already out, looking sullen as ever. "I heard your little tangent... You're not a burden. You could never be a burden, ok?" She spread her arms out, giving me her best puppy dog eyes. "C'mere. Lemme give you a hug." I obliged, letting her surprisingly strong arms wrap around me again. "It's ok, it's gonna be ok. We're gonna get through this."

"You're saying that like I'm the one that needs reassurance."

"You do. We both do... But I've got a support system, even if my dad's not part of it. I've got Piper, and Annabeth, and Frank. And... You don't have anyone but me. So I'm gonna be there for you, ok? It's only fair, after how well you've taken care of me."

"Hazy, you don't-"

"Just let me do this for you. You're my only family, I don't wanna lose you too."

I sighed and hugged her back. "... Ok. Thank you so, so much." I felt myself start to cry. "I love you."

"I love you too... Let's go home."

I nodded and wiped my eyes, taking her hand as we went out to the parking lot.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

Once we were both in the car, her in the front seat, clinging to Frank, me in the back, my body pressed against the car as I tried to avoid looking at Percy, I sighed. "Well... That was a lot."

"What happened to your jacket?" He asked.

I tensed. "I... I don't wanna talk about it."

"Ok... It was really ratty before, anyway. How long have you had this thing?"

"Since I was like, twelve."

"And you still have it? It's so big on you too."

"I like things big on me, now leave me alone." I snapped. I didn't want him to know it was sentimental. For some reason, that was... Embarrassing now.

"Ok, damn. Excuse me for not wanting you to turn into a cannibal's freezy pop."

I felt my face heat up and turned back to the window. "... Why do you care?"

"Because..." He bit his lip. "... You're my... Friend."

He's never hesitated like that before.

Oh no, it's probably because of my little confession, isn't it?

Suddenly, I felt big, warm fingers brush the back of my neck, and whipped my head back around to face him. "What are you doing!?"

"Checking your tag. That way, I know what size to look for."

I was confused for a second, before realizing what he meant. "Oh, no, you don't have to-"

He put his finger on my lips to shush me. "Hey, it's ok. I don't mind." He took his finger off of my mouth. "Mom and I have to go to the thrift store today anyway, for baby stuff. We don't have any hand me downs, except my old baby blanket."

"Oh... Did something happen to them?"

"Yeah... She sold basically everything once I outgrew it."

I was shocked. "How could she do that? And here, I thought she was the perfect mother..."

"She is. As perfect a mother as humanly possible. But... We needed the money."

I made a noise in the back of my throat that I'm not sure how to describe. "... I'm sorry. I shouldn't've assumed... I should've considered... I... I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I get it. I wish she'd been able to save my stuff too. But at least I've got the opportunity to do a little shopping for you."

My face heated up as Frank stopped the car. "Alright, we're here. Are you sure you'll be ok by yourself, amour?"

"Hold on, you know French too?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm much more fluent in French, actually. Canadian French, specifically. Anyhow... If you need to stay at my place, I can just ask my sister, and-"

"No, I... I think it's best if I stay with my brother."

"Well... Ok."

I stepped out of the car, and took her hand, leading her into the house. Once I was in, the first thing I did was empty all his liquor into the kitchen sink, just like he asked. It took a while, there were a lot of them. Once I was finally done, I called up Alecto, my dad's secretary. It went to voicemail, but I was glad for that. I didn't want to hear her voice. "Hey, um... First off, he won't be in for a while. Got in a car crash. Another thing... Y'know how you deliver his alcohol every week? Well... Can you, like, not do that anymore? He's..." I smiled a little. "... He's trying to go sober, so... Thanks." I hung up after that, and went back into my room, to find Hazel going through my stuff. "Um... What are you...?"

She sighed. "I found your..." She sniffed. "... Your tools." She picked up a garbage bag. "And I put them in here, with all your other trash. And I'm gonna take it out to the dumpster."

"Oh... No, I can-"

"No. Because I don't want you digging through it and getting them back. Where else have you been hiding them?"

"... Hazy-"

"Where else?" Her eyes were stubborn, determined, feisty. It's very rare to catch her like this, so you know when it happens, you better do what she says.

I sighed in defeat. "... Downstairs bathroom, medicine cabinet."

She smiled. "Thank you." She then picked up the trash bag and went out. I sat on my bed and waited for her, and eventually, she came back. "... Hey... So, about last night."

Here we go.

She sighed. "I didn't wanna tell you until I got accepted, partly so I wouldn't jinx it, and partly because I didn't want you to panic over nothing. It's for the whole summer, and there's no wifi. I'll be living at the ranch itself. And I was gonna be ok with sending letters, but... Knowing what I know about you now... I need to do the right thing and cancel. And the Canada trip too."

"Absolutely not."

"But you'll be all alone, for a whole week. You won't have anyone to stop you if you-"

"Don't you dare." I took both her hands in mine. "Don't you dare put your life on hold for me. You need this, ok? You need time alone with your boyfriend, you need to meet his grandma while she's still alive, while she can still remember who she is, and try to win her over. And you need time away from New York, time away from me, from dad, from all this melodrama. You're a teenage girl, now's not the time to be selfless."

She smiled. "That's sweet, really. But I don't know if I'll be able to have a good time if I'm worried about you."

"You won't have to. Look, a lot can change in two months. By the time you have to go, I'm gonna be ok."

Her hands cupped my cheeks. "I'm holding you to that, skull boy." She tilted my head down and kissed the top of it. "I'm gonna go to my room and paint after this, but you're welcome to come in if you need anything."

"Thanks... You wanna order a pizza for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah... Sounds good." She stood up. "I mean it, don't hesitate to knock."

"I won't. And thank you again, mia cara."

-

Percy's POV)

As soon as I got in my own car, my mom was ready with the questions. "Where were you this morning?"

"I was out with Nico, sorry I forgot to text you."

"It's ok, it happens to the best of us. Where'd you go?"

I sighed. "The hospital."

She gasped. "Oh goodness, is he ok? Is his sister ok?"

"Yeah, he and his sister are both fine, physically at least. I mean, she was crying, and he seemed really distant. Got his jacket torn real bad too."

"Oh dear. Well, if they were ok, then why were they at the hospital?"

"Their dad, he, uh... Got into a car accident."

"Holy guacamole!" Dad piped up from the backseat. "Is he ok?"

"I didn't go in there myself, I'm assuming he is. Also, why are you here?"

He seemed insulted by the question. "Well of course I'm here! I wanna help pick out stuff for the baby."

The baby... "Oh, the baby. Right."

"So... Is he?"

"As far as I know, yeah. Well... As ok as you can be after you got into a wreck."

We stopped at the thrift shop and got out, but my mom held my arm as my dad walked in. "Hon, did you take this little trip to avoid talking about last night?"

"Nothing happened last night."

"Clearly something did."

"I don't wanna talk about it, ok!?"

Her eyes widened. "... Ok." Her voice came out like a squeak.

I bit my lip. "Sorry for snapping at you like that. I didn't mean for that to come out so harshly."

"It's ok. Just know that I'm here if you ever do wanna talk about it."

I smiled. "Thanks, mom."

-

When I walked in, I was surprised to find Hestia manning the shop. "Oh hey, miss Hestia."

"Hello. Percy, I believe?"

"Oh, yeah."

"You know her?" Mom asked.

I nodded. "She's a teacher. Not one of mine, but-"

"Hestia!" Dad yelled. "How are you? Good to see you. Didn't know you had a second job."

"I do, indeed. Is this your girlfriend and her son?"

"Sure are!"

"It's so nice to meet you in person, Sally. I've heard a lot about you." She held out her hand.

She took it. "Good things, I hope."

"Oh, the best things. Congratulations on the mini Blofis by the way."

Her face broke into a grin. "I'm so excited! That's, um, why we're here, actually."

"I see... Do you know the sex yet?"

"No, we'll find out next week. But I don't see the need to let our baby's junk dictate the stuff we buy for them, y'know?"

"It does sound kind of ridiculous when you put it like that... Alright, let me lead you over to the baby stuff."

she walked over to one corner of the shop, and my parents and I followed her. After a while of looking around, I heard my mother gasp. "Oh honey, look... It's your old cradle!"

My jaw dropped, and I rushed over, putting a hand on it. It was light blue, with swirling ocean waves carved into the headboard. "Oh man... We've gotta buy this."

A spark of recognition glinted in Hestia's amber eyes. "You... You're that girl that kept selling baby stuff. And here I was, thinking you'd suffered a miscarriage or something. You were always crying when you came in... How didn't I recognize you?"

She shrugged. "I was... A completely different person back then. We'll take this one."

We bought quite a few things, baby clothes, rattles, a mobile, a horde of stuffed animals. I went off to get some stuff for Nico too, though I didn't know his size for pants or shoes, so I was kind of limited. I'd try and get those sizes later somehow, and focus on what I could get him for now. I could wait until Christmas to give these to him, just so it won't be weird, but... No. He needs them now. I'll just give them to him tomorrow morning.

I got him a black trenchcoat that's supposed to go down to your knees, but considering how short he is, it'll probably go down to mid-shin. I was actually glad for that, since his pants are so ripped up, and hopefully this'll keep his legs warm too. I also got him a sweater. A dark blue-ish green one, since that's his favorite color, knit out of this really soft velvety yarn. I hope he likes it, he probably will.

Once I got my gifts for him picked out, my dad tapped me on the shoulder, holding out his phone. "Hey, champ. Can you record something for me?"

"Oh, sure."

"Thanks, Perce." He went off, and I started recording, pointed at him and my mom. "Hey, hon?"

"Yes?"

"I was thinking, once we've gotten all our things for the baby, we could look for some dresses."

"Dresses?"

"Yeah... Wedding dresses, specifically."

She laughed. "Oh stop it, you dork."

"I'm serious." He suddenly got down on one knee. "I've already got the ring."

She gasped, hands covering her mouth, and began to cry. "Oh my god..."

"Sally, I... I know I'm going fast, but... I love you. And I love this family. And I don't care where we end up, if we go to Ithaca, or stay in Manhattan, or move all the way to New Mexico, I don't care. As long as I'm with you, and Percy, and the baby... I'm happy. So..." He pulled out a blue velvet box. "... Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" She didn't even hesitate. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Oh my god... This is really happening!"

He stood up and slipped the ring on her finger. I couldn't contain my excitement anymore. "Holy crap! Mom, you're getting married!"

"I know!" She turned to me. "... You were recording it?" She pressed her hand to her heart. "Oh, I can't wait to show them that tape." She ran over and hugged me. I stopped recording at that point, and got a better look at the ring on her finger. It was simple, thin gold with a single pink pearl in the middle. It was beautiful, and perfect for her. She's always loved the beach, for one. And she always said, if I had been born a girl, she would've named me Pearl. And when I asked why, she'd tell me the same story: Pearls are made when a grain of sand gets inside an oyster's mouth and causes it distress. The oyster secretes nacre to soothe itself, to coat the irritant and turn it into something smooth, something comfortable and beautiful. Pearls are the tangible result of healing.

Once we got all our stuff in the car, she drove home and made cookies to celebrate. Dad helped, but she still let me lick the spoon instead of him. I teased him a little about it, claiming she loves me more than him, but I didn't mean it.

Once they were in the oven, there was nothing, really, for me to do, so I went out onto the fire escape, watching the silver sliver of moon slowly rise above the skyline.

Silver was her favorite color... After a while, I pulled out my phone. I've never called him before, only texted. But...

"Hey... Sorry if i woke you up, but can we talk?"

"Sure. Whaddya wanna talk about?"

"I dunno... I just needed to hear your voice. So... How was your day?"

"Good..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... My day was good."

"Did you win the lottery or something?"

"Very funny, Perseus."

"Thanks, think i should do standup?"

He huffed out a dry laugh. "You would get so many tomatoes thrown at you that opening an Olive Garden right there on stage would be a smarter business decision than continuing your performance."

I let out a laugh that sounded like a manatee giving birth. "OK, OK, maybe you should be the one to do standup."

"Oh no, I have really bad stage fright."

"I figured. Anyway... What's made your day so good?"

"Well..." He sighed. "My dad promised to quit drinking. Even told me to pour it all down the sink."

I was shocked. "Oh wow, that's great! I'm seriously happy for you."

"Thanks... So how about you?"

"My day was good too. Dad proposed, and mom said yes, so he's gonna be, y'know... Officially my dad! And that's really exciting."

"Holy shit, that's awesome! But... Is there something bothering you? I mean... You told me you needed to hear my voice, are you... Lonely?"

"Lonely?" I sighed, watching my breath puff up into white steam in front of me. "I... I guess you could say that."

"Oh... I'm sorry. Why?"

I paused. "Why... What?"

"Why did you call me, in particular? Instead of, say... Your girlfriend?"

I tensed. "Well... We, um... We're not together anymore."

"Oh, that sucks. She dumped you?"

"Not exactly. She... She cheated on me. And then hid it from me. And only told me last night. And she told me she blocked someone's number, but she didn't really, and she called him, but she hung up like five seconds later, and she was gonna ask me to move to San Francisco, Nico! She's moving to San Francisco because she's graduating this winter, and she's going to Stanford, and she was about to ask me to move to San Francisco with her at that party, and then she got interrupted, so I didn't realize it until now, but fuck! She was gonna ask me to fucking move all the fucking way across the fucking country with her, right in the middle of the school year, and fucking uproot myself with no friends and no family except for her, and the worst part? I would've agreed to it! I would've done it for her, because I was in love, Nico! I was so deeply, madly, ridiculously in love, for six years! And I will never get to feel that kind of love again. Never again will I love anyone so much that it hurts. She was my soulmate. And now I've thrown her away, all because my feelings got hurt."

"Percy... She betrayed you."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? Just run at the first sign of trouble? Obviously, as horrible as what she did was, she did it for a reason. She never does anything without a reason. And she wanted me! Over the phone, she sounded like she wanted me. And... Deep down, I wanted her too. But I was just so angry, and that got in the way of everything, and... It's not to late is it? To patch things up with her? Please, tell me it's not too late." I was begging now. "Please, please... Tell me it's not too late to win her back."

I heard a deep, heavy sigh over the phone. "... It's not too late. I'm sure, if you just tell her all of this, she'll take you back. But... Percy?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you want her back? I mean, after all she's done to you..."

I smiled. "I'm sure. I'm more sure of it than I am sure that water is wet."

I heard his laugh, light and pure and almost glittery, and I felt my heart clench. "Ok..." He cleared his throat. "... I'm kinda glad you called actually, because we, uh... Need to talk."

"About... What?"

"About last night." He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry if I freaked you out."

"Hey, why would I be freaked out? I mean, yeah you're gay, big deal. Half the school already kinda knew that. I was just surprised. You must've been pissed-out drunk though. You were flirting with me, remember? Probably confused me for some big celebrity."

An awkward laugh from the other line. "Um... Yeah."

"Which one?"

"Uh... Logan Lerman."

I paused. "... What's he from?"

"Not much, really. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children."

"You watched it too?" I asked. "Man, that movie sucked!"

"Definitely not accurate to the book."

"You read the book?"

"Oh yeah! Man, what is it with that guy and getting involved in terrible adaptations of beloved YA books?"

"No clue, some actors just have really bad luck. Y'know Tristan McLean was about to play the villain in Funhouse Mirror?" I laughed. "Sure dodged a bullet there."

"Wait... McLean? As in... Piper McLean?"

"Yeah! You didn't know?"

"I just... Never put that together until now. Holy shit, that's awesome!" He paused. "So... Are you feeling better about Annabeth?"

"Much better. Goodnight, Nico."

"Goodnight." He hung up, and I went back to the kitchen, hoping to save a cookie or two for Nico tomorrow, and one for Annabeth too. I hope she takes me back.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

The next morning, I met him in the bathroom right before class. "Hey! I got you some things. They're in my backpack." I slipped it off of my back and reached in to get the sweater and jacket.

He blushed. "Wow, you... Were serious about that, huh?" He asked, picking at the tattered cuffs of his black sweatshirt.

"Of course I was. Why would I joke about it?"

He shrugged. "I just... Thought you'd realize I don't need you to do that. I mean, I clearly have stuff to wear, so why did you bother?"

"But they're so ripped and... Worn. And old looking. When was the last time you went shopping for clothes?"

"Um... I dunno. I don't think I've ever gone by myself, I just wear what I already have. And dad's stuff... A lot of dad's stuff."

I smirk. "Is that why the jacket's so big on you?"

He sighed, crossing his arms in front of him. "... Yeah."

I raised a brow, handing the clothes to him. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no... Nothing's wrong."

"Clearly, something's wrong." I sat down on a toilet. "Talk to me."

"It's really nothing you have to worry about." He insisted, stuffing my gifts into his backpack. "Stop trying to take care of me."

"Well, somebody needs to."

He rolled his eyes. "I can take care of myself."

"I know, but... You shouldn't be the only one taking care of you. It's not healthy for anyone to be a hundred percent independent, that's just not human nature. Everyone needs someone."

"Well I don't."

I sighed. "Y'know what, fine. Be that way. I clearly can't stop you." I stood up and went to my dad's classroom, while he followed close behind. He sat next to me like always, and soon, dad came in dressed all old timey. I forgot today was technically Halloween.

"Hey class! So, since I'm gonna be a father, I've done something special for Halloween and dressed up as one of the most famous fathers in classic literature. Anyone who can guess who it is gets a pass on the pop quiz! Who wants to go first?"

Nico leaned over. "Atticus Finch." He guessed, quietly so only I could hear.

I smiled and repeated his answer. He seemed pleasantly surprised. "Correct! You came up with that really fast."

"Uh, thanks. I just guessed."

He passed the papers out, and I was glad not to have to take it, all thanks to Nico. I looked over at him, who was already almost done after only a few minutes. "... Hey... Why did you help me?" I asked him.

He shrugged, filling the last bubble in. "Well... You did something nice for me. So, y'know... I wanted to return the favor." He stood up and turned in the test, before returning back to his seat. "Besides, I knew I'd ace it."

-

When lunch came around, I pulled Annabeth into a broom closet to talk. "So... About last weekend. I... I said some really harsh words the last time we talked. I dumped you, basically. But... I regret it. Deeply, deeply regret it. You're the love of my life, and... I'd be lost without you. I... I need you. Please. I'll do anything to get on your good side again, and we can just... Pretend all this soap opera bullshit never happened."

"Soap opera bullshit? Is that what you're calling my relationship with Piper?"

"You already have a relationship with Piper?"

"Uh... Yeah."

"You... Moved on that quick? I thought you loved me!"

"Well, I don't! And I'm not gonna apologize for that."

"Oh, so you just decided waking up this morning?"

"Percy..." She sighed. "I've been out of love with you for a while. I just... Didn't realize it until now. You wanna know how I know?"

"Spare me."

"No, I'm gonna tell you. When we were on that dress shopping trip-"

"The shopping trip!? That's when this happened? That was almost a month ago! You kept it from me for a whole month!?"

"Will you let me finish!?" She huffed. "... The thing is, I had to be manually reminded of you. Of... Your existence. Your presence in my life as my boyfriend. You don't... Occupy my mind the way I must occupy yours. And you have every right to be angry, but I wasn't happy. I didn't know why at the time, but now I do. It was you, my relationship with you. I hate that it took me this long to figure out what the problem was, I guess I've just been disconnected from my own emotions for so long, from growing up in a permanent state of survival mode, that it's hard for me to take account of them. I'm not used to treating feelings like they matter, like they're anything other than messy and inconvenient and judgement-clouding. So I ignored them, and they got all tangled up, and... This happened."

I stood up from my seat. "Y'know what? I don't care what excuses you come up with. I trusted you, and you betrayed me. I loved you, and you strung me along. I put you on a pedestal, and you tossed me aside like a broken toy. Screw you, Chase. I hope that name never gets replaced or conjoined or shared with anyone else. I hope she breaks your heart like you've broken mine, and you spend the rest of your life alone." I walked out of the broom closet and went to eat lunch alone in the gym, not wanting to be anywhere near her. I was gonna give her a cookie, but y'know what? She doesn't deserve a cookie. I deserve the fucking cookie. I'm this close to having a nervous breakdown.

-

I avoided everyone for the rest of the day, and when I finally got home, I lost it. Sobbing and screaming and kicking over my trash and tearing my hair out and more screaming and more sobbing and listening to sad music and yelling 'why god, why me? Why are you piling all this pain on me, specifically? I know you give your toughest battles to your strongest soldiers, but at this point, I'm starting to think you just hate me!'

"Sweetheart?"

"What!?" I whipped my head around, hair falling in my face, and my eyes connected with hers, blue and horrified.

"Baby... What's got you so upset?"

I immediately relaxed and let out a heavy sigh, sitting on the bed, picking up my pillow pet and hugging it to my chest, having fallen silent.

She sat next to me. "Sweetheart, talk to me. Did... Did something happen with your girlfriend?"

I clutched my stuffy tighter. "... Ex."

"What?"

I broke down and explained everything, the secrets, the cheating, the regret, the move, the rejection, the heartbreak, blubbering and sobbing into my mom's chest like I was eight again.

"Ok... Let me get this straight. She was about to ask you to move all the way to California in the middle of the school year, after she cheated on you and kept it from you for almost a whole month, and also lied to you about cutting contact with someone you'd told her over and over again that you didn't feel comfortable around, and yet you're the one that tried to win her back?"

I laughed bitterly. "It... Does sound pretty ridiculous when you put it like that, doesn't it?"

"That doesn't sound ridiculous, that sounds... Toxic. Look, sweetie, I know you're upset, but if you ask me, I think this breakup was for the best. You deserve someone that truly loves you, and isn't secretly miserable and just playing along to spare your feelings. That's no good for anyone."

I sighed. "... You're right. But you don't just... Leave. I mean, six years. We were together for six years. And it's hard to move on from something like that. Especially when I'm gonna be seeing her every day at school."

She started rubbing my back. "I know. I'm here if you ever need to talk, ok?"

"Ok... Thanks, mom."

She have me a side hug. "Anything for my little boy." She kissed my cheek. "I'm gonna get started on dinner, ok? Paul's coming over tonight."

I smiled. "Ok. Love you." I laid down and took a nap before dinner. Today was... Exhausting.

-

Nico's POV)

Hazel was out shopping, and I was cooking dinner for us, hoping it would be done by the time she got back. I'd only just finished straining the pasta, it's rigatoni tonight.

I felt horrible. I gave him bad advice, and I knew it was bad advice at the time. I never actually believed it when I said he had a chance, I just told him what he wanted to hear. I didn't wanna seem like the bad guy, y'know? I thought he knew I had feelings for him, and if I told him what I really thought, told him that he did the right thing in leaving her and that he shouldn't try to win her back, he'd think I was just trying to get in his pants! But I underestimated how oblivious he truly is, so all that was for naught, and now, who knows what he's gotten himself into? Did she reject him? Or worse, take him back, and now he's stuck in that terrible relationship again? Either outcome was my fault.

I wanted to punish myself.

The stovetop was glowing bright red, on the highest setting.

I bit my lip, spreading my fingers out, and closed my eyes before-

"Neeks! I'm back!"

I turned the stovetop off. "Hey sweetheart, how are you back so soon?"

"Took a shortcut through an alley."

"Nothing happened to you, right?"

She laughed. "No, no. The most interesting thing that happened on my little trip was finding this." She pulled out a box of something called meat pies. "I don't think you've ever tried them before, so I was hoping I could make them for dinner tomorrow."

I smiled a bit. "Well, aren't you thoughtful?"

"Thanks... I wanted to do something nice for you, since... Y'know. The hospital."

I sighed. "... Yeah... Hey, look on the bright side, we have the couch all to ourselves."

She laughed again. "We can watch whatever TV we want."

"That's the spirit." I turned back to the pasta and put it in the tomato sauce, being sure to add a little extra chili flake. She likes it spicy.

I love her so much.

And I love Percy.

And yet, I fucked him over.

Why?

Why do I screw everything up?

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

I stayed up all night, contemplating texting Percy, but ultimately deciding against it. If he needed help, he'd reach out to me first... Right?

I still couldn't stop staring at the contact name.

Maybe I should.

No... It's three in the morning, he needs rest.

But what if he's bawling his eyes out? I should at least check up on him. He doesn't have to respond if he doesn't want to.

I sent a text.

Hey... How did it go?

5 minutes: No response.

10 minutes: No response.

30 minutes: No response.

1 hour: No response.

He's probably asleep. Or just doesn't wanna talk to me. I don't blame him.

I need to go to bed too.

-

When I woke up, I slipped on my usual jeans and black T-shirt, and my new black trenchcoat too. I wanted to show him that I appreciated his gift.

Once I was ready, I went downstairs to start on breakfast, only to find that Hazel was already up and in the kitchen. "Morning death breath."

"I brushed my teeth today, actually."

"Oh, good for you." She chirped, pushing a plate of french toast towards me. "Now eat up."

I smiled a bit. "You made me breakfast..."

"Well yeah, I was up first. I also packed us both lunch. I... Hope it's ok, I've never actually cooked before."

I took a bite, and it was a little undercooked, but I didn't complain. I appreciated the gesture too much to do that. "Thank you. For lunch too."

"Well, I've gotta make sure you're taken care of." She went over to kiss my cheek.

I gave her a side hug. "I love you so much. I really don't des-" I was cut off by a forkful of french toast forcefully shoved into my mouth.

"Don't you even go there, grim."

I swallowed. "Grim?"

She shrugged. "Like the grim reaper... I dunno. I'm trying to be creative." She mussed up my hair and sat down to eat with me.

Once we were finished, she and I both went to school like usual. Percy was late though, like... Weirdly late. Maybe he slept in?

I also noticed he wasn't acting like his usual self. He was very... Withdrawn. He seemed depressed. He seemed totally tuned out. He seemed... Like me.

I wanted to ask him about it, but by the time I plucked up the courage to, the bell rang, and he went to his locker. I went to retrieve my books, watching him from afar. I saw Annabeth come to her locker, right beside his. Knowing what I know about her now, I really didn't like her, but as I saw her steely grey eyes softened to mercury upon seeing him upset, I found it a little harder to hold a grudge against her. She was clearly feeling guilty about what she did, and clearly cared about him even if she didn't always act like it. "Percy... Are you ok?"

He took a deep breath, I assume trying to curb his rage. "What do you think, Chase?"

She hissed through her teeth. "... Perce-"

"Get the fuck away from me!" He screamed.

Her eyes widened in fear. "Ok, ok, jeez, I'm going..." She hurriedly gathered her books and left, shaking her head and muttering to herself.

Suddenly, he ran off to the bathroom, and I decided to just move on to my next class.

-

Percy's POV)

I wanna slam her fingers in the locker door.

... What? No! I would never do that! What's wrong with me?

Oh... I guess I'm... Not that different from him after all.

My breathing got faster.

I darted off to the bathroom.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

I'm a monster.

I can't breathe.

Serves me right.

I felt a sickly feeling gather in my stomach, and puked in one of the toilets.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

How did I get this bad?

The bell rang, and although I was still shaky, I still went to class.

-

Lunch came, and I sat alone in the corner, watching Annabeth talk with her friends.

She looked so pretty in her tight black jeans, her Rosie the Riveter T-shirt, on her new girlfriend's arm. She still wore her coral necklace, and that single fact stabbed me in the heart like nothing else ever had. The necklace I gave her, that I bought when I was little to give to someone special, and I thought I found her. And she still had the gall to wear it to school after she cheated on me and then dumped me for the girl she cheated on me with. I know I should let her go, let her be happy, be happy for her. But I'm not happy. I'm angry, and hurt. My heart has been shattered into pieces, and I honestly don't see the point in trying to repair it.

I don't understand. What does Piper have that I don't? Money? Fame? A criminal record?

"Percy?"

I didn't respond, or even bother to guess who said it. I just kept staring at her, bitterly cursing myself for falling in love with her.

A hand pushed me. "Percy, what's wrong?"

I forced myself to look over. "Oh... Hey, Nico."

"Hey... Did you get my text?"

I huffed. "Yeah. I got your text."

He bit his lip. He does that a lot. "... So I'm guessing it didn't go very well, huh?"

"Nope."

He nodded, his greasy raven hair falling into his eyes. "... You wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

"... Are you ok?" He asked.

I sighed. "... Nope."

I didn't talk for the rest of the period, just ate in silence. That was how the rest of my day went, exempting the conversation my coach had to have with me after swim practice. "Jackson, you're usually the best out of everyone. But today, you came in last. And you didn't even show up yesterday. What happened?"

I shrugged. "Nothing, just a few off days, I guess." Because what else do you say to something like that?

"Well, we're about to go to the finals, you really can't afford to be having many more off days. We're depending on you, Jackson. Everyone here is depending on you."

I sighed. "I know. I'll try harder, I promise."

"Do or do not," he reminded me. "there is no try."

"Then I'll do better."

"Good. We've only got another month before the season's over. That's one month to whip everyone into shape, and we're already behind schedule. Now, hit the showers, be sure to dry off completely before going outside." He clapped me on the back, and it took everything in me not to flinch. Not to let him know how fucked up I am.

And when I finally got home... I went catatonic. I stared up at the ceiling, feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing.

And nothing, for some reason, hurt.

How is it that I could survive everything else I've survived, but I can't handle this? How does the common teenage heartbreak feel so much worse than the first twelve years of my life?

How did I get so weak?

I dug my nails into my skin, dragging them down, clawing at my forearms.

It hurt.

But for some reason, the pain soothed me.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

I've gotten worse over the past few weeks. I tried to keep up with the rest of my swim team, but I'm so lethargic now that I got kicked off today, which felt like an extra punch in the gut, because it's one of my favorite things, and it's being taken away from me because I'm not good enough at it anymore. And I feel guilty about it too, because as the coach has stressed, they all depended on me to pull through and lead them to victory, so now they'll surely lose, and it's my fault for dropping the ball last minute. It actually triggered a panic attack, the second one today. I have one pretty much every day now. I don't even tell my mom about them, I don't want her to worry about me. Besides, it's embarrassing to say that every time I see my ex girlfriend, I start to feel nauseous. I love her, I hate her, I miss her. And just thinking about her makes me wanna cry.

And it's not just her, it's Piper. And it's not just those two, it's my whole friend group now. Because Leo and Jason are both so damn happy for them, and I wish I could be. But it still hurts. It hurts so fucking much. And they don't seem to understand that. Maybe they would if they knew the whole story, but... They don't. And that's good, I wouldn't want her exposed like that. But still, it hurts. So I push them away, I push everyone away. But one girl, on the other hand, won't leave me alone. And I don't particularly enjoy her company. Drew Ta-fucking-naka. I swear, she was put on this earth to flirt with every single guy she can. If I didn't know any better, I'd say her and Leo were a match made in heaven. And deep down, I know there's something deeper going on there, but honestly, I can't bring myself to care. I can't bring myself to care about anything anymore.

My grades are slipping too, and my teachers have taken notice. Aside from dad, they haven't been particularly understanding or kind. Sternly disappointed at best, and outright cruel at worst. I feel like a little kid again, being berated by Ms. Dodds' shrieking voice, lamenting the loss of teachers' spanking privileges. Dad himself... I know he wants to help, but he doesn't understand what the problem is. Hell, I don't understand what the problem is. How can you be too sad to take a test? It doesn't make sense to me, and I'm the one experiencing it. How can I expect it to make sense to him?

I claw at my arms, my legs too. Not deep enough to leave scars behind, thank god. I don't know how I'd explain those to my mother.

Laying in bed before dinner, however, I overheard a conversation I'd never forget.

"Paul, honey?"

"Yeah?"

"I... I'm really worried about Percy."

"Oh, me too. I mean, I've seen kids go through emo phases all the time over the years, but they're usually over it by now."

A long silence passed between them.

"... What? What did I say?"

"This isn't an emo phase, ok? I know an emo phase when I see one, and this isn't it." She snapped. "This could be serious!"

"Hey, he's probably fine. Look, I know you think of him as your baby, but he's eighteen! He's an adult, he can figure this out on his own. You need to stop overthinking things."

"Overthinking things? Paul, he barely talks to me, spends all his free time in his room, he doesn't even eat much anymore! He got kicked off the freaking swim team, you don't think that means anything!? This has been going on for two entire weeks, it... It's starting to look like depression."

"Well, of course it looks like depression, but... Is it depression depression or just breakup depression?"

"It's not just the breakup. It's... Everything. Every single one of his big stressors are being piled on him right now, and... School's one of them."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that, well... I think he needs a break."

"He gets a break every weekend. Look, I've been working with teenagers for twelve years, they're kind of my specialty. And a weekend is usually enough."

"But he's not your specialty! He's mine! I've known him for his entire life, and I know it's not for him, especially not right now. Why can't you just accept that I know something better than you!?"

"This isn't about ego, ok? Yours or mine. All I'm trying to do is calm you down before you make a rash decision."

"A rash decision?"

"Yes! Pulling him out of school is a rash decision. I know you wanna help, but I'm thinking about his future. If he takes too much time off, he might have to repeat a grade! And sure, you know the whole story, and I know the whole story, but the college admission boards don't. And they're not going to be very forgiving. I may not know Percy inside and out like you do, but I know he wants to be a marine biologist. That's his dream job. And if he can't get into college because he's not strong enough to push through this, then he's never gonna get his dream job. He's gonna be stuck working in retail and fast food and amazon warehouses that make you piss in bottles for the rest of his life! Do you want that for him? No! Nobody wants that for him." He sighed. "Look... I know you've always been a mama bear. And I know that from where you're standing, this looks cruel-"

"No, it is cruel! It's cruel to make him jump through a bunch of academic hoops while he's already going through a crisis! And if you don't understand that, then... Then maybe you're not quite ready to be a father."

Another long, nerve-racking silence. "... Sally-"

"Get out of my house."

-

Nico's POV)

Percy's been really absentminded lately. He even left his backpack in his history class. I texted Hazel where I was heading and when I could be expected to come back, then started on my way. One thing I didn't expect was seeing Mr. Blofis leave his apartment just as I was about to get in. "Woah, hey there little dude. Uh... Fancy seeing you here."

I stared up at him in question, before deciding not to ask. "... Ditto."

He stepped aside to let me in, and I saw something else I wasn't prepared to see: Percy's mother laying on the floor with her back to her son's bedroom door. "Oh... Hi Nico." She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

I stepped in. "Um... Can I get to his room for a minute? I need to give him his backpack."

She stood up and stepped aside. "Sure." She knocked on the door. "Sweetheart, one of your friends is here to give you your backpack. And... I wanna talk with him."

A scratchy, broken voice responded "Ok. It's open."

I turned the knob to find another unpleasant surprise. Percy lay there curled up in bed, hugging his panda pillow pet and watching Finding Nemo on his phone, tears streaming down his face. She carded her fingers through his hair and sat next to his head.

"Hey mom." He sounded so sad, so vulnerable. He paused the movie and laid his head in her lap. "What's up?"

"I just wanna make sure you're ok." I sat down on the bed too, setting the backpack down on the floor. "I'm really worried about you sweetheart. And I think he is too."

I nodded. "I... Haven't been the best at showing it, but yeah."

He sighed, hugging his mom's waist with one hand and clutching his arm with the other, his nails digging into his flesh.

I took his hand in mine. "Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself!" I scolded, and immediately regretted. "... Sorry, I didn't mean to yell." I rubbed circles into the back of his hand. "... Do you do that often?" I ask, terrified of the answer. I started out with clawing before I graduated to cutting. I've gone back to it once or twice since Hazel threw out my razorblades. I don't want him going down the same path.

He gave us a tiny, almost imperceptible nod, and Sally and I shared a worried glance. "Oh honey..." She spoke first, picking him up and holding him tight. "... I think it's time I take you to my therapist, ok? I know you don't wanna trust anyone else with your life story, but... You need to open up to more people. I'd love to be there for you for the rest of your life, but... There's gonna come a day when I can't be anymore."

"... Ok." He looked to his mom. "... I heard your fight, by the way. Are you breaking up?"

Oh no. There was a fight.

She sighed. "I... I don't know. I'm hoping we can patch things up, but..." She shrugged. "... I'm so sorry you had to hear that. Look... Do you think it would help? It could be a week, a month... Just however long you need."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" I asked.

"Well, I'm considering taking him out of school for a bit."

"Oh... Yeah, I think that'd be good for him. I've been meaning to talk to him about how bad he seems to have gotten, but... He just pushes everyone away."

"I'm right here, y'know." He mumbled. "... Yeah, I think that'd help. But are you sure-"

"Of course I am. Look, if it's your grades you're worried about, we can arrange something with your teachers, ok?"

"Ok... Thanks, mom." He reached up to kiss her cheek. "I love you. But... Can you leave us to talk?"

"Ok, sweetie." She petted his hair one more time and stood to leave the room. "Just call for me if you need me, ok baby?"

He took me into his lap, holding me to his chest like I was a stuffed animal, his big green eyes staring down at me, rimmed red with tears. The ocean within those eyes was now stormy and tumultuous. "Hey... What's wrong?"

"What's not wrong? I got kicked off the swim team, Drew's trying to get in my pants, my dad might be walking out of my life forever right as I was starting to get used to having one, I'm in love with a girl that doesn't love me back anymore, and all my friends have abandoned me... Except for you." He squeezed me tight around my waist, which had thickened a little thanks to Hazel's stubborn insistence that I eat. "You've still tried to talk to me. You went here to give me my bag, you didn't have to do that. But you did, because you're... My friend. And you're a good friend." His chin rested on top of my head. "And I pushed you away." He sniffled, and I felt the top of my head grow damp with his tears. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, I understand. I've done it before. I've done... A lot of this before." I laid a hand on his heart, feeling it beat through his skin and shirt, feeling the warmth of his chest.

"... How much?" He asked.

I sighed. "... More than I'd like to admit. But listen... You're gonna be ok again, ok? I don't know how long it's gonna take, or what it's gonna take for you to get there, but you'll get back to that happy, funny Percy I know. Because this isn't you."

He shrugged. "It's not you either, but here we both are. I don't... Really know if I've ever been ok. I think I just faked it most of the time, so convincingly that I fooled myself. But... I don't have the energy to do that anymore." He tilted my head up. "... Y'know... I've never been a big christian, but... I'm starting to think heaven must be real. Because where else would someone like you come from? But... If you really were an angel, surely... You'd wanna go home." He started tearing up again. "Don't go home, Nico. Please, I... I need you. I know it's selfish, but I need you. I don't know why, but something about you makes me feel calm, and warm, and... Safe." His voice cracked on 'safe.' "Completely and totally safe, like nothing bad could possibly happen to me. I... Don't feel that way often. I get so scared so often, at such inconvenient times. So please don't rip it away from me. Please. Promise me you won't."

"Percy, what are you..." I realized what he meant by 'go home'. "... Oh." I swallowed. "I... That's a really big thing to promise, Percy." The look of devastation on his face made my blood run cold. "But I do." I blurted out. "I promise, I won't."

He let out a sigh of relief, squeezing me tight. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're my new best friend, Jason can suck it."

"Best friend, huh?" I smiled. That's probably the highest title he'll ever award me. "I'm honored. Now... You're probably really tired after all that, so let's lay you down for a nap."

He nodded and laid his head on my lap, hugging his pillow pet and looking up at me through half-lidded eyes. "Thank you, again. For coming here, and... And cuddling me and everything. It means a lot."

I smiled, combing my fingers through his curly, jet-black hair before I gently lifted it up to slip a pillow under it, since my still-bony thighs would obviously be uncomfortable. "Of course. Anything for a... A friend." I sighed, the smile slipping off of my face.

"Is... Something wrong?" He asked.

"Oh no, nothing's wrong. Nothing at all. You just worry about you, ok?"

"Ok..." His eyes closed again, and he was asleep in a matter of seconds. I sat there for a few more minutes, watching him sleep, afraid to disturb him. Turns out the legends are true, and he really does drool in his sleep. I smiled to myself a little before receiving a text from Hazel.

'Hey, where are u?'

'I got a little hung up at Percy's, don't worry. I'm just about to leave.' I typed out. Once I sent it, I removed his head from my lap and stood up, going down on one knee so I was face to face with him, letting out one last heavy, longing sigh before I pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Be not afraid, mi amore." I whispered, before standing up to leave.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

He spent all of yesterday talking with teachers and getting everything set up. From what I heard from his mom, she really had to fight to get them to let him off. In the end, they decided on two weeks where he didn't have to physically go to school, but his teachers would still send him classwork. They swore to go easy on him though, and I agreed to deliver it, and help him out too, if need be. It was the least I could do for him when he's done so much for me, and in such intense, familiar pain.

Today was Friday, and I was walking to his place from school with my sister, her boyfriend, Leo, Jason, Piper, and Annabeth. The last two weren't shy at all about their newfound love for each other, and Jason, Leo, and Frank weren't phased by it.

Hazel, though... She looked visibly uncomfortable. And that put me on edge. It made me wonder if she was a safe person to come out to. Just as I was starting to put my full trust in her...

Though, it wasn't fair to assume anything about her when it also kinda squicked me out to see. But like, I had a good reason to be uncomfortable with it, I knew the full story. So I can confidently say that it wasn't seeing a woman in love with another woman tat made me uncomfortable. It was knowing that she fucked Percy over, and in such a major way that he had to start going to therapy, that was what rubbed me the wrong way. That made me angry. So angry I wanted to yank that curly blonde ponytail right off of her head.

Eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore. "You know she cheated on him right?"

Everyone stopped. Annabeth's face was unusually pale, and everyone was staring at her. "Jeepers..." Hazel put her hand on her chest. "Annabeth, is that true?"

"No..." Leo refused. "She'd never! Dude, what the hell are you thinking, spreading a rumor like that?"

Luckily, Hazel defended me. "He wouldn't say something like that if he didn't think it was true!"

"Nico, where did you hear that from?" Jason asked me.

I bit my lip. "Percy told me. He told me everything. So are you gonna cheat on Piper too?"

Piper scoffed. "Oh please, it was with me!"

"What!?" Jason finally lost his cool. "Pipes, how could you go after someone that was taken?"

"You keep her out of this." Annabeth stepped in front of her new squeeze. "Let me set the record straight. I did. We were in the dressing room, we got down to our underwear, and we made out a little bit. So what?"

"So what?" Hazel asked. "You cheated on him!"

"Yeah, Hazel. I did."

"And you don't feel bad?"

"Well of course I feel bad, that's why I didn't tell him about it right away! But I already apologized, there's nothing more I can do. So let's just put this all behind us, ok?"

My hands clenched into fists. "I don't know about everyone else, but I don't tend to just put things behind me."

Frank, who up until this point had been watching the conflict play out in shock, put a hand on my shoulder. "Nico, maybe she's right. She did a bad thing, and she tried to make amends for it. Maybe a little forgiveness is in order."

I shrugged his hand off. "No, she needs to be held accountable. And since nobody else is willing to do it-"

"Don't you dare." Piper stood in front of her girlfriend.

I stopped. "... What?" I looked down at my hands. "Did you... Did you think I was gonna hit her?" I looked around at my friends. "Nobody else actually thought that, right?"

"Well, you did have that murderous look in your eyes..." Leo muttered.

"Damn... Do I really scare you all so bad?"

"When you're mad, yeah." Annabeth piped up, still hiding behind her lover.

"I was honestly scared that I would have to call the cops." Jason admitted.

"I was scared that someone else would call the cops, I don't want you in jail!" Hazel took my hand. "'Specially not right as dad's about to come back home from the hospital."

"Wait, his dad was in the hospital?" Annabeth asked, pushing Piper aside.

"It's none of your business." I glared up at her.

She tisked. "Well, you've made my relationship with Percy your business. Why do you even care so much anyway?"

"Because I care about him. More deeply than you do, apparently. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take this up to him." I turned to Hazel and put my hands on her shoulders, standing on my toes to kiss her head, trying to ignore the lingering anxiety I felt about what she'd think of me if she knew. "Get home safe, will you?"

"Of course. You too, when you're done there."

-

Percy's POV)

I had just woken up from my, let's check... Four hour nap. Damn, I slept through lunch?

It's not my fault though, I just had my first therapy session, and it was exhausting. Good, but... Exhausting. It was over the phone, because I haven't had the energy to change out of my pajamas for a while now. Even the act of talking has gotten harder, and that's basically all therapy is.

It didn't help that I had another nightmare after. Yeah, those have been getting worse. Everything's been getting worse. Well... Not everything. Mom's been a big help. Speaking of... "Sweetheart? Nico's here."

"Ok." Was all I said, dragging myself up to open the door. He looked up at me, his big brown eyes concerned, which made sense, since I probably looked like a mess. "Hi." He whispered, still smiling at the sight of me. I was glad that sight was becoming more frequent, because it's so beautiful.

"Hey..." He let himself in, closing the door behind him and turning on the light. "Let's get started, yeah?"

I sat down on one side of the bed, and he sat down on the other. "Yeah."

"Ok... How do you wanna to do this? Do you... Want me to read you the questions, and then write them in for you?"

I nodded. "That'd be good."

"Ok then, you don't have anything for English... let's start with history first, since that's what you have the most in."

I groaned. "What's the point of staying at home if I still have to use my brain?"

"Hey, I'll help you. You wanna do the vocabulary first, or the true or false questions?"

"Let's just get the vocabulary over with. So what's the first question?"

He pulled out a sheet of paper. "Let's see... First off, 'engagement in or the activities involved in a war fought by small groups of irregular soldiers against typically larger regular forces'. What's that word?"

"Uh... Um..."

"I'll give you a hint, it's actually two words."

I rolled my eyes. "Great, that helps a lot."

He sighed. "Ok, ok. Second hint... One of those words sounds like the name of an animal."

I thought for a moment... "... Geurilla warfare?"

"Yeah! Ok, next one..."

Once we were done with history, I had to take a break, so I went to play Subnautica for 20 minutes. He was looking over my shoulder the whole time, watching me explore and gather resources before my time was up. It worked like that for a while, until I was done. But I didn't have much, just like they agreed on. I was glad for that.

By the time everything was finished, it was five thirty. There was a knock on the door. "Sweetie? It's time for dinner."

"Oh crap," Nico muttered. "I didn't realize I'd stayed so long. I should probably get going."

"Oh no, no. I made enough for all three of us, I'd really appreciate it if you stayed over."

His face turned pink when he realized she heard him. "Um... Thanks." He opened the door, and I followed after him. It was ramen noodles tonight, and I suspected it would be for a while. After all, I didn't have a job anymore, and now both of us were going to therapy. I felt guilty about that, about how much this is costing her. I should start looking for work soon.

Dinner was eaten in relative silence, and once we were done, we all sat on the couch for a movie, both of us insisting Nico stay for just a little longer. I picked out The Little Mermaid this time. I've always loved it, though I had a hard time watching it for a while thanks to her voice plot.

But now, that holds a second, more ephemeral meaning. Not a painful reminder of my past, but one of my present. As my head laid on his chest and slid my eyes closed, a single thought kept dominating my mind:

There's so much I can't tell him.

I can't tell him all the things that make him beautiful to me, the way his body seems to have been made specifically to fit mine, the full extent of what he means to me. He's somewhere I can go when the rest of the world is dark and cold and wet and terrifying, the one source of hope, a beacon of light despite the darkness radiating off of him. His fingers running through my hair anchor me to the present, and his green velvet sweater is so soft against my weary head, the rising and falling of his chest lulling me into a trance like the rocking of a ship or a cradle. He's my softness and stability and calm.

He's my lighthouse.

And there's no platonic way to say that.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

It was two weeks later. Well, a little over two weeks, since it was Saturday. After a lot of cookies and movies and therapy, I was ready to go back to school. Well, as ready as I'd ever be. I was in my room, watching the first snow of winter from my bedroom window, huddled up with my blanket over my shoulders and a cup of blue hot chocolate in my hand. Don't ask me how she did it, I'm not entirely sure.

My stuffed shark was in my lap, even though for a few days, I couldn't stand to look at it. It twisted the knife, but now, that knife is gone, and my wound's been bandaged over. Now all that's left to do is wait until it turns into a scar, try not to agitate it too much.

Do I forgive her? I don't know. But do I feel better? Absolutely.

But... I almost feel bad about feeling better. Should I not have moved on so quickly? Does this mean I never really loved her? Or did I take too long, should I have tried to push through it like da-... Like Paul had suggested? Sure, it would've made me worse, but was I really bad enough to warrant a break like this? I've gone to school with broken ribs before (don't ask, I think you already know) but I can't go to school with a broken heart?

Was she as upset as I was? Sure, she seemed happy, she seemed unscathed. But... Maybe she just hid it better than me. She didn't love me the way I loved her, for quite some time, and she stayed with me anyway. But here I am, acting like I'm the victim. Like I wasn't the reason she was miserable. It's only fair, I guess, that she made me miserable in return. and now I'm not quite so miserable anymore, and... That feels wrong.

But... She cheated on me. She lied to me. She deserves to feel at least a little upset about that.

I sighed, grabbing the shark and tossing it in the corner. So much for being over it, I guess.

A knock on the door drew my attention away from my thoughts. "C'mon in."

I watched her open the door, my dark room flooding with light. "Hey hon. I've got some good news."

I perked up. "Finally!"

She laughed. "I just published Scales of Justice. Took a little longer than we both expected, but I finally did it!"

My face broke out into a grin. "Oh, wow! That's great! Congratulations!" I put my drink down, stood up, and went in for a hug.

"There's more."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I, uh... I wanted to wait until you were in a better headspace. Basically, um... Paul left me a voicemail apologizing for, y'know... What happened. He wants to give it another shot, and... I kinda do too. But... I wanted to ask your input, since... We were basically fighting about you."

"Oh, um... Wow. Ok..." I mean... I did miss him. I missed him so, so badly. But... Did I really want him in my life? Maybe my fears about him were justified.

Then again... She was so fucking happy with him. And she was about to have his baby. And that baby would him in their life. And she would too. Sure, she's got me. And I'll be willing to help out with anything either of them need. But... I don't think she'd like the idea of her baby helping her raise her other baby. Even thinking about it for a second, it kinda reminds me of that buddy system bullshit the Duggars use. And my mother and I both have very strong opinions about the Duggars. I'm getting off topic again, sorry.

Is it really fair for me to be afraid of him after one little mistake? To revoke my trust the minute he steps out of line?

"Sweetie? You've been awfully quiet."

I shrug. "I just need some time to think about it. Let's just celebrate for now, yeah?" For once, I actually felt like going out. I felt like taking her out for pizza, she's definitely earned it. But... Well, our budget was pretty tight.

Suddenly, I got a call.

-

Nico's POV)

"I got accepted, I got accepted, I got freaking accepted!" She squealed, jumping up and down.

"Accepted to what, exactly?" Dad asked from the couch. The change has been hard on him, so he's still kinda out of it, especially since he's been taking these super intense pain pills. But he's trying, and that's what matters.

"Oh, she's going up to Ithaca in the summer," I explained. "to a horsemanship camp."

"So... You like horses, huh kiddo?"

She smiled a bit. "Yeah, they're like, my favorite animal."

"Welp, I think this warrants a celebration, waddya say we go out for dinner tonight? I'll drive."

I hissed through my teeth. "Dad, the label says you shouldn't be driving while you're on the pills."

"You read the label?"

"Um, yeah. Maybe we should have something delivered instead. Oh man... I really wanna tell someone, can I, Hazy?"

"Of course! Hold on, I'm gonna video chat with Frank." As she went into the other room, I noticed she didn't mention Piper or Annabeth, but didn't comment.

I called Percy up and told him everything. My heart was pounding, I was so excited... And nervous. A whole summer without her here? And without internet? Well... I'll just be sure to write her every single day.

"Oh, wow! That's amazing. Y'know... My mom just got her book published, maybe we should all get together!"

I smiled. "Yeah... You two wanna meet at our house?" I was surprised at myself, honestly. Almost four years ago, I banished him from this place forever. And now I was inviting him over for dinner? "I mean, only if you want to. And I'm gonna have to ask my family if you can."

"I'll have to ask my mom, but I'd love to! Hold on, I'll just ask while you're asking, if that makes sense."

I laughed. "Ok, ok. It does."

-

Him, his mom, and Frank all came over, and we ordered pizza. Percy teased Frank a little about having to get his own mini pizza so it wouldn't have cheese, but it was all in good fun. Percy and Sally seemed a lot more relaxed around my dad, which I was really happy about. I know he can be a little hard to love, but I do love him, and I want the people around him to as well. I wanted things to go smoothly. And surprisingly enough, they did.

"So, wait a minute..." Percy started. "... Both of you draw?"

Hazel shrugged. "I'm more of a painter, but... Y'know."

"Oh, wow! I think I've seen a few of your assignments hanging up in the hall. You're really good. But... I don't think I've seen yours."

I bit my lip. "Yeah well... I'm not that great. I guess they just don't wanna show mine off."

"Well, maybe they're just not giving you assignments that you're good at. Do you... Do art in your free time?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"If you don't mind... Can I, uh... Can you show me?"

I felt my face flood with heat. "Um... I, uh, I've... I've never shown anyone before... But, uh... I mean..." I cleared my throat. "... I-I guess. Just... Don't be weird about it." I stood up from the couch. "Follow me."

We went up to my room, which, along with the rest of the house, had been tidied up significantly with Hazel's help. It made me immeasurably happy to know that she cared about me so deeply, that she was willing to help me with the household duties. And that dad would be too, once he's recovered.

Percy sat on the bed, and I pulled out the drawer in the desk, flipping through the pages, trying to find something that wasn't too angsty. But even seeing some of the stuff I used to draw made me cringe. I was so obsessed with my own pain back then... I felt like ripping the pages up. I'm better now, I don't need this. I never should've made this, I should've just moved on with my life. And now I'm finally moving on like I should've years ago... I think. I'm not cutting anymore, at least. So I'm happy. I'm fine. I should be, at least.

"Uh... Nico? You've been staring at that for a while now."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just... Um... Trying to find the best one to show you." I furiously started flipping through the pages, eventually finding my sketch of the manhattan bridge. My... Destination.

Why was I so dramatic back then? Why couldn't I just... Be happy? I had no reason not to be, I have it pretty good all things considered. I have enough to eat, my dad's never hit me... I'm not homeless or dying of cancer. I'm just glad to be over that phase. I shook the thoughts out of my head. Well, he wouldn't know anything about it. It would just be a regular drawing to him, and that was for the best.

I sat next to him on the bed and tried to ignore the fact that my thigh was brushing up against his. "Ok... This is... One of them. I'm not showing you anything else, but..." I leaned closer so he could get a better look without touching it. "... There. That's it, that's... That's mine." I cleared my throat again.

He stared at it for a while. "Wow... This is amazing."

I shrugged. "It'd be better if I was actually, y'know... There while I made it. I think that's why the perspective is so wonky."

"You mean you drew this from memory? Man... I wish I could do something like that."

I smiled a little. "Like... You wanna learn how to draw?"

"I dunno. I just wish I could... Make something I'm proud of."

"You think I'm proud of this?"

He looked up at me. "You should be. I would be, if this was mine."

"Well jeez, I, um... Th-thanks."

"No problem." His lips curved into a lopsided smile, fuller and softer-looking than mine. And his jawline... He looked like he'd been carved out of marble. But no, marble didn't hold the depth or warmth that his skin tone did. Or the tiny, almost imperceptible beauty mark on the underside of his jaw, just above his neck, or the way his chest gently rose and fell as he breathed. He was strong, but he wasn't hard. He was firm and resilient, but soft, warm, welcoming. I was the opposite, small and sharp and angry, but delicate and brittle. "Um... You, uh... You've been staring at me for a while."

Heat rushed into my face, and I turned away from him, hugging the book to my chest and standing up in one smooth motion. "S-sorry, I, um... I was just spacing out, I guess."

He cleared his throat. "Oh... Yeah, ok. That, uh... That makes sense."

I bit my lip, looking back at him. "Anyway, um... It's getting late. Maybe you and your mom should go home."

He slumped in disappointment. "Yeah, you're right. We should." He stood up. "Thanks for the pizza."

"Oh, don't thank me, thank dad. He's the one that paid for it."

"Well, I know, but... You invited us over. So... Thank you for that." He put his hands on my shoulders, which made me tense up. "Really, I had a lot of fun. I'm glad to have finally met him again too, I was still really worried about you two for a while. But I'm glad you're safe."

I took his hands in mine and lifted them off of my shoulders, holding them out between us. "Yeah... It's good you two get along, at least better than before." I then let go of his hands, letting them swing limply down to his thighs. "Really now, you should go. Don't worry about cleanup, I'll take care of it."

"Yeah... Ok. Bye Nico. See you on Monday."

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

I showed up early to school Monday morning, and he did too. He seemed so happy, so bright. Back to his normal self for the most part.

"Hey!" He sat next to me. "How ya doin?"

I shrugged. "Alright, I guess. Had a bit of a weird dream. I was in this like, tacky casino arcade type thing, and it was fun at first, but then I couldn't get out, and I started panicking. I woke up before I could find out what the deal was." I'd become a lot more open, I noticed, ever since everything that happened a month ago. "How about you?"

He blushed a little. "Um... Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Pretty weird. Not scary though, just... Anyway, I'm glad to be back. I feel a lot more calm now, I guess. Thanks, by the way. For... Helping me get through that."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well... You're my friend." And that's all you'll ever want to be. "That's what you do when your friend is sad."

"Yeah... Y'know, if you ever start having a hard time, you can ask the same of me. I'll be there."

"I know... Thanks." It's not that I didn't believe him, but... I could never take him up on that offer. We can't both be broken, after all. One of us has to be ok.

Mr. Blofis walked by, and saw us. "Oh, uh... Hey, Percy."

Suddenly, it was like he flipped a switch in his brain. His smile faded, and he turned away from his teacher without saying a word. At least, for a bit. "I heard everything."

The elder cringed. "Um... About that. Can I... Sit with you for a minute? I've been meaning to talk to you."

He shrugged. Sure."

He sat down next to Percy as I remained on his other side. "Hey... Look, about what happened two weeks ago... I'm sorry. I... First of all, I don't think you're weak. I never thought you were weak, I just... I've been in academia for a long time, and I know that a lot of us can be very... Callous and judgmental, especially when it comes to mental health, and I didn't want you subject to that judgement. I thought the best way to prevent that was to push you to resemble the model student as much as possible, but I was just perpetuating the exact thing I wanted to protect you from. And... I'm sorry. That really sucked of me. Your mother was right, I can't imagine the dark place you'd be in now if I had gotten my way."

He smiled a little, but his expression soured into anxiety. "I... How do I know I can trust you?"

Mr. Blofis winced. "Kid, I... I wish I knew what to say. Look, I get it, it's been just you and your mom for so long, and then I come into the picture, and now there's a baby on the way, and I left, but now I wanna come back, but I don't know if I should because maybe the both of you would be better off without me. But again, Estelle's coming, it would be wrong to leave a girl without her father. But... Y'know, if I'm screwing up this bad with you, maybe I'd do more harm than good with her. Maybe she was right. Maybe I'm still not ready. Maybe I never will be... And I've gotten off topic, and I'm sorry for that too, because this is supposed to be about your problems, not mine. My point is, I'm not the most informed person when it comes to, y'know... This sort of thing. But I know it can't be easy dealing with all of that at your age. Especially on top of everything else. So it's ok if you need time. I just hope you don't... Y'know, hate my guts. Not that I wouldn't understand, but I generally don't like it when people hate my guts. Especially if they're my students."

Percy let out a long, exhausted sigh, before nodding a bit. "... Y'know what? I get it. Relationships are... Hard. And messy. And complicated."

His face broke into a smile. "So... Does this mean...?"

"Yeah. We're good. And as for my mom... Go for it, y'know?"

"Thanks, kid. I'll try not to let you down." The bell rang. "Well, see you in class. Oh, and you too, Nico."

I followed him to class and sat next to him, dutifully writing notes and such. And though I had the strangest urge to follow him to his next class instead of my own, I obviously didn't. Not because I'm in love with him, of course not, I thought, sitting down for toxicology and letting the time tick by. A crush, sure. But... Love? No, we're nowhere near close enough for that.

It's just... He's finally happy again. And I wanna make sure he stays that way. I wanna... Protect him. Although he's older and stronger and can obviously protect himself. He's displayed a more vulnerable side to himself, and it can't help but change the way I see him. Not that I think less of him now, if anything it makes me admire him more. Because the only reason this breakup could cause him so much heartache is that his love was genuine, and deeply felt, and unconditional. I have no doubt that he would've died for her, walked through hell for her, with her, to protect her.

And the fact that she betrayed him in such a huge way made my blood boil.

Of course, as the day goes on, I start to wonder if maybe Frank's right. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh on the girl. After all, it could be that she's only after women, and just didn't realize it until they were already established as an item and at that point, well... It's hard enough to come out when you're single, I can only imagine how much worse it would be when you have to break the news to your partner too, especially since they may not react all that well. But even then, once he came out as bisexual, there'd be no reason for her to keep dating him for cover. Well, without him knowing that's what she's doing, anyway. Why would she fear his reaction to learning she's not straight when he isn't even straight himself? And as for the potential guilt about breaking his heart, well... It would be much better than this!

She's supposedly so smart, so rational, so incapable of making mistakes. But she made a big mistake cheating on such a rare specimen of a man, that so many claim to be and so few actually are. Big. Huge.

I could never hurt him the way she has.

Well, of course I couldn't. To hurt someone like that requires that they love you, and he could never love me the way he used to love her.

The way he seems to love her even now, judging by the way he's staring at her across the cafeteria, frozen in a trance.

-

Percy's POV)

I thought I could handle it. I was handling it, for the most part. And I was so proud of how I'd been handling it so well, all day. They were being romantic with each other again, and I was smiling at them. Even I had to admit, they were perfect together, the heart and mind in perfect sync.

And then... I saw Annabeth's hand on the small of Piper's back.

The exact same way she used to do with me. For me, that simple gesture has always meant so much. It means... 'I've got you. You're safe.'

And she'll never do that to me again.

And somehow, I felt my heart start to break again. I thought it had grown back stronger, tougher, more calloused. I thought it was safe. I've done my healing, I've done my moving on. Hell, I'm the one that broke up with her first, she should be the one doing the moving on! It's not fair. It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair, it-

"Percy?" A small, cold hand on my wrist. "Percy, look at me." Two big, babyish eyes looking up at me as his nimble fingers tightened their grip. "You were, uh..."

I looked down, and sure enough, a collection of crescent-shaped indents had imprinted onto my skin. "Oh... I-I didn't even notice until you said that."

"Hey, it's ok. Let's just sit down, ok?" He led me to the lunch table by the arm, but I bumped into her shoulder.

Our eyes connected, and something curdled in my stomach. She bit her lip. "... Percy-"

"Don't." Nico growled. "Whatever you're about to say, it's not gonna help."

"I wasn't talking to you, Nico." She stated blankly, looking down at him before honing her attention back onto me. I opened my mouth to speak, but she put her hand up. "Just let me say it... I'm sorry."

"I know you're sorry. You told me you're sorry."

"Well what else am I supposed to say, Percy? What else am I supposed to do, to make this right? I fucked up, sure. But I did one admittedly fucked up thing and now everyone's treating me like an irredeemable monster! I mean, Hazel doesn't wanna hang out with me anymore-"

"She has every right to choose who she does and doesn't hang out with." Nico snapped.

"But it's not just her! It's her, her boyfriend, Jason, Leo, even Mr. Brunner's giving me shit. Yeah, he heard about everything, and went on this big spiel about how he was 'greatly disappointed in me' and he 'thought I was better than this' and like... He's right. And I know that he's right. But like, I already know! And I don't think he understands how hard this is for me. I'm the one who has to live this down. I'm the one that has to feel the guilt all day, every day!"

I felt my fingers curl into fists. "You didn't seem all that guilty when you were with her."

"I hide my emotions very well, in case you haven't noticed. And I have to now, to make space for hers. She's been super anxious as of late thanks to her brother threatening to taddle to the press about me, which shouldn't even be a blow against her in the first place, but you know how TMZ is." She sighed. "If you genuinely thought, even for a second, that I could do something like this without even feeling bad about it, you don't actually know me at all. Because I do... Care about you. And I know that I haven't been showing it right now, but if you could see things from my perspective, you would understand. Probably. Maybe. I mean, maybe you'd still hate me-"

"I don't hate you!"

"Good! So can we please just go back to normal? I'll do anything. I'll give back the necklace, I'll write your essays, I'll pay you back for all the dates you took me on. Whatever it takes for you to forgive me."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I would never ask you to do any of those things, ok? I don't regret the time I spent with you, and I sure as hell don't need any transactional little consolation prizes. Look, I know that you hate feeling powerless, but... It's not up to you. This isn't some video game where you can run a couple side quests and get the 'civil breakup' achievement. I'm not some NPC you can use to heal your 'guilty conscience' debuff. I'm a real person, and it's gonna take a while before I can say, with certainty, that I forgive you." I sighed. "I... I'm gonna go eat." I sat down with Leo, Jason, and Nico, and didn't say much. But I could at least keep up with everyone else, laugh at Leo's jokes, and generally forget about my ex girlfriend.

Chapter Text

Hazel's POV)

Math was probably my least favorite class, which made me glad that it was the last. And even that dreaded hour of the day was made more tolerable by the fact that Frank was there too. Still, even though he finally gave us an easy day with a few seasonal puzzles to keep us busy, I found myself watching the clock tick down, antsy and unable to focus on anything but how much time was left until the last bell. After all, today was the last day before Christmas break, and the day before my birthday.

The minute class was over, I hopped out of my seat, and so did Frank. We started walking together, but he had to stop by the bathroom and told me to go ahead. So... I was alone when I heard what I heard.

"-.... and you should be thankful that I'm even bothering to warn you, diAngelo."

"Warn me?" My brother asked. "About what?"

"By the time you come back, everyone's gonna know your little secret."

"No..." His voice shook, and as I rounded the corner, I could see he was pinned to the wall by his collar, by none other than Octavian. "No, no, you made a deal with Jason-"

"Oh you simpleton... You actually thought a little thing like a promise would stop me?" His voice made my blood run cold.

But the fear in Nico's eyes made it boil again.

"Get your hands off my brother." I demanded, jaw clenched, hands furled into fists. "Now."

He turned to me, and though he sneered down at me like I was a chewed up piece of gum on the sidewalk, I didn't fear him anymore. I couldn't afford to fear him. Fear is the mindkiller. "Or what, little girl? You'll put some kind of spell on me?"

An idea sparked in my mind, and confidence surged through my body. A confidence I was only known for as a little girl, before it had been scrubbed away with the taste of soap. "Y'know what? I think I will."

He scoffed, which only fueled my fire. "Yeah right. What, you'll wave your magic wand at me and I'll bust out in hives or something? This isn't Harry Potter, y'know."

I smirked. "Harry Potter aint shit. You wanna know what real magic is?" I reached into my back for my craft scissors.

"I'm not scared of you, little girl."

"Fine." I pulled them out. "If you're so brave, give me a lock of your hair."

His face went even paler than it normally was. "What?"

"Did I stutter?" I snipped the scissors threateningly. "I said give me a lock of your hair. Or are you too chicken?"

"Get away from me you little maniac!" He yelped, before sprinting in the other direction. Laughter bubbled up from my throat so intense that it squeezed my eyes shut, a howling, cackling laughter that I almost didn't recognize as my own. Once I'd calmed down, I opened them back up to find Frank and Nico both staring at me shocked, Frank's face red as a cherry. "Wow..." He breathed. "... I, uh... I don't think I've ever... Seen you like that before."

"Me either." Nico joined in. "I... Thank you! Thank you so much. I thought you were terrified of the guy."

"Well you are too, apparently." I mussed up his hair. "I had to protect you somehow."

"Oh shut up. I can handle myself."

"You didn't seem to be handling yourself very well." I teased. I was so happy to see him like this. He was still quiet, asocial even, but he seemed happier. More... At peace. And I was also happy to know that I'm part of the reason why. Because I'm trying to show him that I care about him, taking on more responsibility, offering a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on if things get hard, though he still hasn't really opened up like I was hoping him to. I'm not too upset, I can be patient. "Let's get home. Frank, you wanna come with us for dinner?"

"Sure! I'll get Clarisse to drive us to your place, and once you've finished up and gotten your luggage, we'll swing by my place and get mine, and then we'll head to the airport."

-

Just as we were getting out, Nico turned back. "Um... Hey, Clarisse? Would you, uh... Would you like to join us tonight?"

I was surprised at him. I didn't think he liked her all that much, that anyone did. She seemed surprised too. "... Why?" She asked.

He shrugged. "I dunno. It just seems rude not to offer."

She shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

As soon as we walked in, however, I saw fairy lights, a Christmas tree, and... My dad, pulling a cake out of the oven. Well, that's what I assume he'd been doing, but now he was muttering curse words under his breath as one of his fingers was kept securely in his mouth.

I'll admit, I cracked up at the sight, which made his head snap towards me. "Hazel, hi! I, uh... I wanted to surprise you. I didn't know you'd be home this early. And who are these two?"

Frank was the first to step forward. "H-hi. I'm Frank Zhang, and I, uh... I'm dating your daughter." He laughed nervously.

My father put his hand forward, before suddenly retracting it. "Sorry, that one has saliva on it. Speaking of, Nico, could you go get the potholders? I've been looking for them everywhere."

"Did you look in the drier?"

"No, why would they be in the drier?"

Nico pinched the bridge of his nose. "Because they needed to be washed, and then they got washed, so they needed to be dried. Am I missing anything?"

Dad just stood there in silence for a bit. "... You're supposed to wash potholders?"

Clarisse cackled at that. "Holy crap, dude, your dad's a riot."

"Oh, he's not doing this to be funny, this is just... How he normally is." Nico explained. A little sadness washed over his face, and I could tell what he was thinking. 'When he's sober, anyway.' "Anyway, I'm gonna get the potholders, you all sit tight."

I sat at the counter, my legs swaying back and forth, as I watched my boyfriend and his sister plop onto the couch. It was there, on the kitchen counter, that I noticed a gift, wrapped and everything.

"I didn't know what you wanted, so... I just picked them up at the dollar store." He slid the package out to me, and I opened it to reveal a pack of colored pencils. They're not my medium, and haven't been in a long time, but it's the thought that counts. I was just glad he even bothered with anything. "By the way, happy early birthday."

I looked up. "You... Remembered?" I smiled. "Oh, daddy..."

He grimaced. "I hate to disappoint you, but I... Well, I asked your brother. He's the one that told me what cake you'd like best, the one that helped plan all of this."

"... Oh." Of course, I couldn't get my hopes up. How would he know? "But you... You still thought of me. That... That counts for something." I tried to stay positive.

Nico came downstairs with the oven mitts, and dad pulled it out of the oven. He got out a tub of cream cheese frosting too, pink and red sprinkles, even a pack of candles. Once it was finished, he called everyone over and they all sang happy birthday. Well... Except Clarisse, she just sort of gruffly mumbled the words.

I was over the moon to finally get the kind of dad I used to fantasize about as a little girl. I'd built him up in my mind as a perfect father, someone who would dote on me and comfort me whenever I was upset. I was so excited to meet him, a year and a half ago, only to walk in on the disappointment of a lifetime. But he's finally here, and I couldn't be happier!

But I'll admit... I was nervous too.

Not that I'm being ungrateful, but part of me can't help but wonder if he's just doing this to win me over, and once he feels he's accomplished that, he'll go back to being the way he was. But even if he does, I should probably just stop overthinking it and cherish this while it lasts.

So when I blew out the candles, I wished it would last a very long time.

-

Frank couldn't have any, because it had dairy, but we found him some peanut brittle. Once I got my bags out from my room, we all piled in the car. Even dad, since he insisted on seeing me off and thanks to the Vicodin he was on, he still wasn't allowed to drive.

"Ok, I'm just gonna get my stuff. It's kind of a lot, I tend to over pack, would either of you mind helping me?"

I got out of the car and followed him into the apartment, noticing a cactus wrapped in Christmas lights in the corner. Curious, I looked questioningly at him.

He shrugged. "It's an Arizona thing. That's what Clarisse told me, anyway. I'm gonna go get some stuff from my medicine cabinet."

"Ok." I sat on the bed and waited for him to come back, which he eventually did, with toothpaste, a toothbrush, a comb, a bottle of advil, and...

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to a plastic bag containing a syringe and bottle of clear fluid. "Is it... Insulin?"

His face flushed red as he opened one of his three bags. "No. Why would you assume that?"

I shrugged. "That's what insulin looks like."

"It's what a lot of medication looks like." He shot back, visibly uncomfortable.

"Ok, ok, no need to get defensive. But... What is it? If you don't mind me asking."

He sucked in a breath. "... It's... It's T."

"Tea? Why would you inject tea instead of drinking it?"

"No, not... Not tea. Like... Testosterone."

"Oh... Does your body have trouble making its own?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah... You could say that."

I sat on the bed, thinking it over for a bit. "... Oh."

"Yeah. I wasn't sure how to tell you, or even if I should. I mean, I'd have to eventually, if you ever, y'know, wanted children."

"I mean, I could always use a donor, or adopt. But that's not what matters right now." I bit my lip. "Does... Anyone else know?"

"Um... My sister, and... My grandma. But that's it."

"Oh... And they both... Like... They're both cool with it?"

"For the most part. I mean, Clarisse was never mean to me about that, specifically."

"She seems to have warmed up to you a lot since, um..." Oh jeepers. It was so long ago, and I still hadn't found a proper way to talk about it. "... Anyway, um, good for you. And your grandma?"

He shrugged. "Her relationship with the community is... Complicated. She's not malicious or cruel, just... Proud. Doesn't like to be corrected."

I tisked. "I get it. I mean, she's old, right?"

"Obviously." He laughed a bit. "Now let's get to the airport.

-

Oh no. Why is she here?

I was happy for her at first, for both of them. But I couldn't help but feel that something fishy was going on with how fast the two got together. I tried to ignore it, though, up until my brother told everyone the truth, and I promptly ditched them both out of principle.

I was so relieved that my apprehension was justified, and at the same time, I was incredibly angry that my only female friends, the people I had come to relate to the most deeply, had both been revealed to be so horrible.

And I also felt guilty for leaving them behind like everyone else, and for getting Frank to do the same. She showed obvious remorse for her actions, after all, and clearly wanted to make things right. Besides, him and Annabeth seemed to get along quite well, who was I to take that away from him?

I was also lonely, because even though Jason, Leo, and Percy all consider me their friends, none of them clicked with me the way us three had.

I wasn't sure when Piper would be coming back, but I knew that Annabeth would be gone indefinitely. And life is unpredictable, their plane could crash and burn, and they could both die without knowing I wasn't really all that mad at them anymore. I was mostly disappointed.

I need to go over there and tell them, before it's too late.

-

Annabeth's POV)

I was pacing back and forth, my brain going a hundred miles a minute and my mouth struggling to keep up. What if there's a spider on the plane? I'll be trapped, on a plane, with a spider, for a 6 hour flight! And I won't be able to kill it because that would mean getting close to it, and I'll be incapacitated anyway because I'll probably have a panic attack, and where am I supposed to go? I can't just have a panic attack out in the open, but I also can't take up the bathroom when there are people that actually need to pee. What am I gonna do if-

"Babe, they've got some of the highest-reviewed pest control in the industry. I doubt we'll encounter any spiders."

I stopped in my tracks, staring at her. Just taking a good look at her made me calm down. She's been growing her hair out since Halloween in the hopes of styling it in a mullet, and now it dangled just a little past her jaw. She still neglected to touch up her roots on the blue underside, though, as evidenced by the short, sickly green transition into her natural chestnut brown hair, both colors contrasting beautifully against her glowing bronze skin. "Ok, did you read my mind, or did I say some of that out loud?"

"Neither, you smell like there was an incident at the toothpaste factory. Look, I can tell you're nervous, but it's fine. There won't even be a lot of people."

"Wait, really? How did you get that sorted?"

She shrugged. "First class, baby."

I gasped. "Wait, really!? Oh thank you!"

She laughed. "It's not really that big of a deal, I've got 'fuck you' money." Her eyes drifted past me. "... Uh oh."

"What?"

"Don't look now, but Hazel's here." She hissed through her teeth. "And she saw us." I started to turn around, but she grabbed my shoulders. "I said don't look now! Oh crap, she's coming over here." She sighed. "I guess there's no point in not looking now."

I turned around for real this time and looked down at her. She was so short. "Um, hey..."

She sighed. "Hey. Um, I just, uh... I just wanted you to know... I'm not mad at you anymore."

"Oh thank god, I was worried you'd never wanna talk to me again." It was true, but I probably came off as clingy. "Um, not that I wouldn't've understood, just, y'know... You're fun, and bright, and I like talking to you. So... I'm glad you're not mad at me. I know we probably won't talk to each other much once I get on that flight, since I'll be so busy with school, but... Y'know."

"Yeah... Best of luck, by the way. Um... Are you leaving with her, or are you just seeing her off?" She asked my girlfriend.

"Oh, I'm coming with her, just to help her get settled into her dorm. Maybe mix and mingle a little while I'm in the state."

She nodded. "... Send me pictures, once you get there?"

She smiled and reached down to tousle Hazel's hair. "Of course."

"Flight 16 boarding, flight 16 boarding."

"Oh crap, we gotta go!" I sighed. "Anyway, um... Bye. And... I guess good luck without me." I took Piper's hand, and together, we boarded our flight.

Thankfully, I was right, and it was totally spider-free. I'm also thankful that none of the flight attendants had an allergic reaction to all the peppermint scented lotion, deodorant, perfume, and straight essential oil i'd slathered onto myself.

I settled in pretty quickly, gorging myself on pastries and watching movies. They had Legally Blonde, apparently they had pretty much everything, so obviously I watched it. Then I had 4 and a half hours to kill, so next was Mean Girls, then Jawbreaker, which is basically Mean Girls for adults, and lastly, something I've never watched before, called But I'm a Cheerleader. It was, in some ways, exactly like what I usually went for, and in others, totally different. It was still kitschy and saturated in bright candy colors, at least for the majority of it, but there a sense of irony to it now that made it... I guess what you'd consider camp. And some pretty nice color symbolism too.

I know most people don't think of a movie's symbolism as their watching it, or even at all, but I do. I just can't turn my brain off while watching movies or TV, unless it's something I've watched a bajillion times like the first three. It's just the kind of person I am.

I was totally hooked, and once it had ended, I was absolutely sure that I'd found a new comfort movie.

She'd booked a very nice hotel too, room service and everything, but I was so jet-lagged I didn't really get to enjoy it much.

-

The next morning, I looked over at her as the taxi pulled up to the dorm. "I can't believe it's finally happening!" I reached over for one of my bags, but she grabbed it before I could. She grabbed all of them, in fact, which made me roll my eyes. "I can carry my own stuff, y'know."

"Oh, I know. But I wanna treat you like a lady." She pecked me on the cheek.

As I stepped out and headed across campus, letting the taxi drive off in the background, I marveled at how... Warm it was. And suddenly, I was glad I went with the white button up instead of the turtleneck, since I could take off the sweater-vest if it started giving me trouble. I was so glad she'd gotten it for me, it was very expensive and delicate, soft angora wool dyed into a beautiful argyle pattern of rich orange, cream, and cranberry, even a little copper tinsel thread for the wispy criss-crosses. I looked back at her, her arms laden with bags. "Are you sure you don't want my help?" I asked.

"Nope. Glad to see you in layers, by the way. But really? Khakis?" She set my bags down for a moment to tie her own green camo jacket around her waist, blending in with her matching mini skirt, making it look like the white thigh-high cat socks she wore were in a tent. "Surely you had something more interesting than that in your closet." It revealed more of the black lace tights that she turned into an undershirt, layered under a Hello Kitty crop top, but obscured her thick black eyelet belt almost completely. Though, if you looked closely, you could see the heart locket, which I got her for our month-a-versary, dangling on it like a belt chain. Well, we were shopping together, but we got matching ones. Hers was rose gold, and mine was silver, each holding a lock of the other's hair.

I reached up to hold my own, but I missed, and grabbed my coral pendant instead. And I felt white hot shame shoot through me all over again.

"Hon?" She asked, her head tilted to the side, the loose ends of the pink satin ribbon holding one of her short, low pigtails in place now brushing her shoulder. "You... You know I don't mean anything by it, right?"

By what? I'm about to ask, but then I remembered her comments concerning my pants. I rolled my eyes and pushed the guilt aside for a moment. "Yeah, I know. But what's wrong with khakis? They're understated, practical, professional-"

"Exactly. They're boring. Very school-uniform-core."

I scoffed. "You're one to talk about fashion. Your shoelaces have letter beads that spell out 'fuck the cops'." It was true, looking down at her bubblegum pink converse, you could see the message spelled out on plastic pastel hearts and stars.

"It's a statement piece!" She defended.

"The whole outfit is a statement piece." I held it in for a moment before giving in and cracking up. "Jeez, how did you get me caring about something like this?"

She shrugged. "I dunno, I guess I'm just that good." She picked up my bags again, and although I offered a few more times, she always declined. She's so stubborn.

-

Once we got to the front door, she plopped them down on the floor. "Ok, sorry. I can't do any more. Um... You just go get settled, and I'm gonna go out to bring us some lunch." She pecked me on the cheek, leaving my face glowing.

As I walked into my dorm, I was greeted by someone even taller than me, which is quite a feat. Well, not so much greeted as I saw her, standing on her bed and pinning up a demisexual flag, imprinted with a labrys. The shade of her skin was about as deep as Percy's, but with a cooler undertone in contrast to his sunny tint. Her body was strong and lithe like mine, but with broader shoulders. Her hair had a slight wave to it, and although she was a brunette like Piper, hers was a darker brown, almost black against the red university sweatshirt, styled in a single loose dark braid over her shoulder.

I set my bags down and cleared my throat to catch her attention, but as she turned to face me, her fierce black eyes gave me the kind of deja vu that made my heart twist.

I grabbed my coral pendant again, on purpose this time.

Bianca.

Dear god, when was the last time I thought about Bianca? Probably on that video call, when Nico reminded me of my place as Hazel's protector.

When Percy came back from his house four years ago, I was the first person he went to, and he told me everything. He was racked with guilt, and wouldn't stop crying. I remember thinking... This isn't fair.

I was there that night too, in the junkyard.

I was the one to grab his hand and drag him away.

He wanted to save her, to save both of them, he really did. But I knew he would get himself killed if I let him stay even a second longer. So I left them both behind.

He never should've blamed him, he should've blamed me. If I had let him run back... Either both of them would've lived or all three would've died. And I wasn't willing to take that chance.

"Um, are you just gonna keep staring at me, or are you gonna tell me who you are and why you're here?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, just lost in thought." I stuck my hand out. "Annabeth Chase, Architecture major. I'm your new roommate."

She quirked one of her brows up, but still shook my hand. "Reyna Arellano. Political science."

"Ooh, nice. So, you're trying to be a politician, huh?"

"Yep. With any luck, I'm hoping to run for governor." She cleared her throat. "So, this is how it's gonna work. You see this line of painter's tape?"

I nodded.

"This," She continued, pointing at her bed. "is my side. And this," She pointed to my bed. "is your side. Your stuff doesn't go onto my side, my stuff doesn't go onto your side. You don't cross this line without asking me first. I won't cross it without asking you. As for the place the tape splits off," She pointed to a little triangle of space which included a little kitchenette next to the front door. "that's the common area. Either of us can go there any time we want, and I'll let you use my silverware and china, because I'm assuming, as a newcomer, you don't have any. But if you use a dish, I expect that dish to be washed, or at least soaking in the sink, before you leave the common area."

I whistled. "Wow, ok."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing, those are all very reasonable boundaries to have. It's just, with the tape and everything... It comes off as a bit anal-retentive. I feel like I'm getting told off by a drill sergeant at room inspection because she found a sock on the floor."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, I've been told stuff like that before. That I'm a control freak, that I'm unlikable. Too uninviting, too serious, too stoic, too intimidating. That I have a resting bitch face." She deadpanned. "That people are scared of me."

"Oh, I've been told that too! ... I... I mean..." I laughed nervously. "I mean, about myself, not you. I didn't hear anything about you before meeting you, good or bad. But what a cowinky-dink!" I sat on the bed. "Maybe it's because we're both tall as shit."

"It's not because we're tall, you dope. It's because we're both smart, talented, ambitious young women who don't have the time, energy, or inclination to coddle men like they're babies."

I wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that, so I changed the subject. "... So... What are you plans for Christmas?"

She shrugged. "Mostly just staying home, watching movies. You?"

"Well, I'm hoping to meet up with my dad. He's a professor here... Do you have any family on campus?"

She bristled at that. "No. No I don't."

I sighed. "... Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine, you didn't do anything wrong. Just go ahead and get set up. If you need me, I'll be over here."

I sat back up and got started on putting everything where it belonged, dressing the bed, hanging up my clothes, all that.

This would be good for me. Hard, undoubtedly, but good.

Chapter Text

Octavian's POV, dun dun dun)

That little witch girl is gonna be the death of me, I thought as I caught my breath, walking the halls.

My uncle, which I hate calling him such because we're the same age, eventually came up behind me. "Howdy there, Octie! Tavie? We've gotta find you a nickname. Octavian's a real mouthful."

I grit my teeth. "William Solace, I don't need a nickname. What I need is for you to shut your trap so I don't have to listen to that god forsaken dialect of yours."

"What's wrong with my voice?"

I rolled my eyes. "It, shall we say... Doesn't suit your guitar. You sound like you should be playing the banjo, or the washboard, or-..." I stopped dead in my tracks.

Drew.

Oh, Drew... She's so beautiful, powerful yet delicate, cutthroat yet graceful. Like a wild swan. And I'm determined to hunt her down.

She's the only reason I sought Cupid's friendship in the first place. And then we discovered both of us were enamored with the old ways, the old standards for men and women, before everything got shot to hell by the sexual revolution. Our bond only grew deeper from there, but it all started because I wanted to get closer to his sister.

I shoved William away from me, not wanting to be associated with such filth, and walked up to where she stood in the parking lot, adjusting my tie and my sweater. I may have gotten expelled from my old boarding school, Jupiter High, but I still wore bits from my old uniform. Not because I'm poor mind you, heavens no. It's simply a matter of... Comfort, I suppose. As embarrassing as that is. I don't want to be here.

But I might as well take advantage of my surroundings. I cleared my throat. "My lady." I puffed out my chest, pushing the anxiety away. No, men aren't supposed to be nervous around women. That's not how you land yourself a wife, you have to be strong, confident. You have to dominate her.

She glanced down at me. Damn, she wore high heels today. I'm sure she'd be shorter than me if she were barefoot. "Hey." She breathed out, blowing smoke into my face. Her black eyes glittered like the diamonds on her leather jacket, which I had no doubt were real. "What's the problem, shortstack? Cat got your tongue?"

I blinked. "I'm simply... Enamored. By your beauty."

She rolled her eyes, as though she'd heard that a million times before. She probably has. "Yeah, ok. You want a cigarette?"

"I..." I wasn't sure what to do. I wouldn't want to offend her. But I also wouldn't want to appear weak. A real man never stoops so low as to bum a cigarette off of someone else, especially not a woman. And especially not the same woman he plans to wed. "... I don't need to beg off of you." That came out harsher than intended. "I have my own money." I clarified, trying to soften my previous words.

She snorted. "But do you have your own cigarettes?" She asked, pulling one out of her carton and lighting it with the tip of her own, before holding it out to me.

I sighed. "If you insist, my dear." I took the cigarette from her hands, cold from the winter winds, her nails sharpened into hot pink claws. Her neck scarf was hot pink too, which made me think of Rizzo from Grease. "... You're a fan of the classics, aren't you?"

"I guess you could say that. Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Godfather, American Beauty, Jennifer's Body, American Psycho. I've watched them all a thousand times."

I'd only watched about three of those, but I wasn't about to let her know that. "A woman of culture... Quite a rare specimen, especially these days."

She just hummed in response, seeming utterly disinterested in me.

I sighed, my eyes scanning the area for something to comment on.

They caught on a pair of women, one with mannish brown hair and the other cascading to her waist in black shiny waves, kissing with tongue on the hood of a dark pink Lexus. "Ugh... What an offensive display."

"Right on the hood of my car too." She huffed. "Silena! Get off of my car!"

The ravenette perked up with a sheepish grin. "Sorry, sis!"

I looked to her. "That's your sister?"

"What, you couldn't recognize her?"

I shrugged. "Her face was..." Getting eaten by a dyke, I would say, but I was in polite company, and wanted to impress her. "... Obstructed." That much was true, though I doubt a clear view would've helped from so far away. I technically needed glasses, but I only ever wore them once, when I was eleven. Never. Again. "Hold on, is she the one that used to trail behind you weeping?"

"Yep."

I tisked. "And now she's doing this. I feel terribly sorry for you, dear, having to share your genes with such an embarrassment. I can sympathize."

She smirked. "You're Will's cousin, huh? The one he's always talking about?"

"You two have spoken?"

"Mhm." She started checking her nails. "We, uh, dated actually. Freshman year, I was his beard."

I smirked. "Well, rest assured, Drew, I'm no wolf. And I won't use you as sheeps clothing." I winked, before dropping the cigarette and grinding it down with my foot. Smoking is bad for your teeth. My fath-... Guardian... Asclepius, he's a dentist. He'd know that.

She scoffed. "Whatever... Y'know, I'm glad she's happy for once. I mean, after Beckendorf died, she was a total mess. It took practically nothing to set her off. And it's not like I'm not sad about the crash too, but honestly, I'm kind of relieved she didn't end up marrying him." She took another drag of her cigarette. "I mean, what kind of a last name is Beckendorf? Sounds like a Lord of The Rings character. At least LaRue has a nice ring to it, it's french after all. But first him, now her... She's gonna put the whole family to shame if she doesn't settle down with someone more... Similar to her."

I scoffed. "If you ask me, they're quite similar already. Just in all the wrong ways."

She looked down at me. "Similar in... What ways, exactly?"

"Well, they're both women." I started. "They're both dykes." Suddenly, I felt something hot jabbing me in my neck. "Ow!" I squealed before I could stop myself. I quickly realized she put her cigarette out on me.

She leaned down and got face to face with me. "Don't you ever fucking call her that again."

She started towards her car, and I huffed in annoyance. One day, I told myself, one day she'll be mine. I just have to be persistent.

I went back inside to meet up with my uncle and his mother, who was packing up for the day. Neither of us were allowed to leave until she was finished, so he spent his time practicing guitar.

I cleared my throat, and his head shot up. "Oh no, what happened to your neck?"

"I got a hickey. That Tanaka girl and I, we started getting frisky." I lied. I wish that was what had happened to my neck. Maybe if I say it enough times, it'll happen.

"Let's get you patched up, nephew." I grumbled in annoyance. "Ma! Over here. He burned his neck and he needs some ice." He winked at me. "Just saving you an earful."

I sighed and took the ice pack she held out to me, putting it on my neck. Not that I'd need it for long, as cold as it is.

I got a text from Luke. I've added him to our group chat temporarily, purely as an extra set of hands. 'meet me in the cemetery, now. Both of you.'

I rolled my eyes. He might've been older, but neither of us took him seriously. Still, I wanted to see what he had to say.

I looked up at Naomi. "I need you to drop me off at the cemetery."

"Why?"

"I'm meeting a friend."

She nodded. "It's good that you're finally making friends." She cooed, and mussed up my hair.

I patted it town so it would look smooth again. "Just take me."

-

Finally, her car pulled up to the black, wrought iron gates, and I stepped out. "Have fun, we'll be back in an hour!"

I shook my head and walked down the path, my eyes scanning for blonde and pink hair. But apparently, Cupid wasn't here yet.

I eventually sat down next to Luke, who was sitting on top of someone's grave. I looked past him, and read the headstone. 'Ethan Nakamura, 2003-2021' No comment, no epitaph, just a name and two dates. Whoever he was, the people that buried him must not have given two shits about him.

Looking up at Luke himself, he couldn't take his eyes off of that same tombstone. "... I clean it." He started. "I go here, every chance I get, and I scrub off the dirt and pull the weeds and yank up the vines." He sighed. "Do you recognize this name?"

I shook my head no.

An unreadable expression spread across his face. "... He must not've told you. Must not've been remarkable. Not the first kid he's done this to, and certainly not the last."

"Pardon?"

He chewed his lip. "I wish he came with you. But I guess he was too much of a coward. Knew where it was going."

Cupid, then. He must've been talking about Cupid. "What are you trying to do?"

"Ethan was..." He sighed. "... Dear to me. Let's leave it at that. And your little friend killed him. Not with knives or guns or even alcohol, no. With rumors. Do you have any idea what kind of hell his mother put him through when word got around?"

The dots in my head began to connect, and I realized what he meant. "... Oh, I see... He was a queer, wasn't he?"

He sneered at me. "... Fuck you, man. Do you even care? Do you even give a single shit what happens to people after you humiliate them like that?"

"You say that like you weren't the one to pick the-"

"You don't think I feel guilty about that!?" He grabbed me by the shirt. "Because I do. I feel so fucking dirty about what I helped you two do. And the only reason I did it is because you both promised to pay me, which you never did by the way. So I'm giving you a warning, and you pass it along to Cupid too: Either you call off the burn book bullshit, or you finally pay up."

"And if we do neither?" I asked.

I suddenly realized that wasn't a smart thing to say when I saw a smirk glide across his lips. "Consider this your warning shot."

His fist reeled back, and everything went black.

-

"...tavian... Octavian...?"

I heard my uncle whine.

I shot my eyes open. "Octavian! Thank goodness you're ok... What happened?"

I groaned. "Get your grubby mitts off of me."

He pouted. "Y'know, maybe you wouldn't be so lonely if you stopped being so stuck up about ma and me."

"As if. I do have some dignity, after all. Why are you pursuing me so doggedly anyway, if I'm so stuck up?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "... You may not be the nicest, most likable guy on the planet, but you're my kin. And as your kin, it's kinda my obligation to put up with all your poppycock, and to... To look after you."

"I don't need looking after." I stood up, but it was a bit too quick, because my eyes rolled into the back of my head, and I stumbled a bit.

He shook his head, standing with me and once again, towering over me. "You really oughta get checked out, you probably have anemia."

"Like you'd know."

"I'll have you know I'm on track to becoming a doctor."

I rolled my eyes and pulled out my phone, texting Cupid and only Cupid. 'we need to give Luke the 5k right now, he's PISSED'

I didn't get an immediate reply, and decided I'd wait until I got home to check again.

Home, with Asclepius.

Asclepius, who gave me access to all his money and none of his time. Asclepius, who only let me stay in his house because my mother dropped me off at his doorstep when I was four, with a note pinned to my shirt that I couldn't even read. Asclepius, who didn't love or even respect me, and never would.

But I was fine with that. After all, the kids at school worshipped me.

They had to.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

My mom sat on my bed and took a deep breath. "Ok, sweetheart. I need you to listen to me, because... This is important."

I perked up. "Yeah?"

"Well... Paul and I, we're uh... Giving this another shot. And, another thing... His extended family is throwing a house party on Christmas Eve at the house he's inherited. Y'know, the one in Ithaca. So he's, uh... Invited me over. He wanted to show off the house, get me to make a decision. Of course, we won't need to until sometime late June, since that's the due date. But that's not the point. Are you... Gonna be ok? If I decide to go? I'll get back on the road first thing in the morning, and we can have a proper Christmas, just you and me. But I wanna get to know his side of the family too. So... Will you be ok by yourself, on Christmas Eve?"

I thought for a bit. "Yeah. I'll be ok."

"Are you sure? Because I mean, I can stay here. Or I could take you with me, if you want."

I shook my head. "I don't know if I'm really up for, y'know... So many people..."

She sighed. "... You used to love parties."

I sighed. It was true. I used to be more confident too. More extroverted. But it's gonna be a while before I can go back to who I was pre-breakup.

She seemed to read my mind. "... I know. All of this has been... Really hard on you, I get it if you're not ready to put yourself out there like you had before. Another time?"

"Yeah... Another time. You go have fun."

She smiled at that and ruffled my hair. "I'm not leaving until tomorrow, silly. We still have the rest of tonight. Wanna go out and buy a new movie to watch?"

"... Yeah. That'll be fun." I stood up and reached into my sock drawer, pulling out my last 50 dollars. I really should get a new job... Maybe I should see if the arcade is hiring. I've always liked video games, it'd be perfect.

We went out and ended up picking up a Spiderman movie, as well as some snacks. As hard as Annabeth's absence has been, I had to admit, it was nice that I didn't have to worry about her seeing the dvd and potentially getting freaked out. Not that I'm mad at her for it, but it did kinda suck not being able to talk about my favorite superhero.

-

The next morning, we had a quick breakfast, and then she was off to the races, leaving me home alone. "Text me if you need anything, I'll be right there."

"I will, I will... Love you." I kissed her cheek. I was gonna miss her, but... It would be ok. I'd be ok.

I just hope I can say the same for Nico, and his family. I know Christmas is hard for him. And I know exactly why. But hey, I'd try to enjoy my time home alone, binging on cereal and watching nature documentaries dubbed with sassy commentary on the internet. Yep, honey badger really don't give a fuck.

Dinner was... Interesting. I just microwaved some stuff she'd stored in the fridge. I tried to make cookies too, but I was still scared of the oven after all these years, so I used the microwave. They were very soft, I'll give myself that, but raw in the middle. At least they were blue.

I took a shower after dinner, then played some subnautica as a reward for remembering to take a shower, and I was right about to go to bed when... Something came over me. I grabbed my phone and called Nico, just to make sure he was doing ok.

-

Nico's POV)

Christmas Eve dinner went better than expected, even though it's only the two of us, and neither of us particularly like Christmas anymore. I'm glad that we can go back to how things were, at least in some sense, and to silently comfort each other in times like this.

I still had to do a lot of the chores because of his injuries, which he still hasn't fully healed from nearly two months after the fact. A broken arm, bruised ribs, a herniated disc... It all seemed like a lot. I felt sorry for him, having to endure so much pain. Sure, he shouldn't've been driving drunk in the first place, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve sympathy.

One of the chores was dishes, which I was doing now. Strangely enough, I looked forward to it now that I wasn't cutting anymore. The sting was gone, the bandages off, and I could roll my sleeves up too now, without fear of unveiling my dirty little secret.

Because it's not a secret anymore.

I didn't choose that, but in hindsight, I learned to be grateful he ripped the bandaid off. I was too much of a coward to open up about it myself, and if I hid it for too long, he could've lost me altogether. And I know he can't handle that. Hazel couldn't handle that. So it's best, for everyone, that I stay alive. Even if it means I had to feel exposed, humiliated, and ashamed for a little bit. After all, feelings are temporary, death is permanent.

After washing the dishes, I sat in front of the TV and went to turn my brain off. I wasn't sure how long I stayed like that before I started to doze off. I still had trouble sleeping sometimes, but white noise, a few soft blankets, and a belly full of pasta seemed to do the trick.

-

"Nicooo! Can I have another pill?" He asked from the bedroom. "I left them on the kitchen table, and I don't wanna have to go all the way back there."

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and checked the clock. It was 8, and dad had one right after dinner, around six o'clock. "Um... No. You'll have to wait about 4 hours."

"But I wanna go to bed now. I can't wait until midnight."

"You can go to bed without taking one."

"No, I can't. I won't be able to sleep without... Just give me the bottle."

As I stood, I felt something sour in my stomach. Something... Wasn't right. "... No."

A moment of silence fell between us. "... Nico, I'm trying to be patient here. But I'm in pain, and I need those pills."

"You shouldn't be. I mean, it was only two hours ago, it should still be in your system."

"It is, but I... It's not enough. It's not enough to get me to sleep."

"Dad, these aren't supposed to be sleeping pills, they're supposed to be pain pills." I felt harshness rise in my voice, but I didn't care. I grabbed the bottle off of the kitchen counter. It was light. "Have you done this before?"

"Done what before?"

"Taken a pill before the 6 hours are over." I peeked into his bedroom, still holding the pill bottle. "You must've. These things are supposed to last until new years, and you only have five more."

"It's fine, I'll just go to the doctor to write me another prescription."

"How long are you supposed to be on these things anyway?"

He sat up. "Y'know what, I'm done answering all your questions, so I'm asking one of my own. Why are you being so difficult? Is this your way of punishing me?"

I was taken aback, honestly kind of hurt. "... Punishing you? No... Dad, I... I care about you."

"So you withhold the one thing that could give me enough relief that I'm able to sleep tonight, on Christmas Eve of all nights, which you know is a hard night for me? Yeah, I feel really cared about right now."

I looked down at the pill bottle in my hand. It would be so easy to just give in, just give him whatever he wants. Especially now that he's laying on the guilt. But I had to stick to my guns. "You're gonna thank me later. I don't want you relapsing."

"Relapsing?" He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, which surprised me. He'd never acted anything like this before. "I haven't had a single drop of alcohol, just like I swore. I haven't kept it in the house, not even the medical stuff, not even hand sanitizer! And I've basically been under house arrest because you keep reminding me it's not safe for me to drive after taking these things, so how the hell could I possibly relapse!?" He dropped me, and I was lucky to have landed on my feet. He started walking towards the door. Y'know what? I'll show you what a relapse looks like."

I grabbed his arm. " Wait! No, no, please..." I felt my throat knotting up. "... Please papa. You've worked so hard to get here, you're really gonna throw it all away?"

"Yes!" He yanked his arm away from me and made his way to the front door. "Because if you're gonna overreact like this over every little slip up that I have, what's even the point in trying to quit!?"

He turned and slammed the door in my face.

I dropped to my knees, tears streaming down my face, and looked down at the bottle of Vicodin.

He promised.

I started crying harder.

He... He promised!

I couldn't breathe.

He was going back on his word. How was Hazel gonna react, having to go back to the way things were before? It was gonna break her! It wasn't fair, none of it was. At least I got to know the real him before his addiction took over. She had nobody! All her life, she's never had anybody. And now she's gonna have to go back to that, but worse, because on top of everything, she'll have to deal with all my bullshit too.

And what's gonna happen to our relationship when Octavian...

... I can see him now, him and Cupid hanging out in the copy room, beer in hand, toasting to my demise.

They'll both be disgusted. Hazel, she might understand. Maybe. But my dad? He'll probably ship me off somewhere, or just kick me out.

What if Hazel protests? What if she tries to defend me? Will he hurt her, somehow? Or worse, cast her out as well? I'd have to take care of her, protect her, provide for her. What if I slip up, and she gets hurt or sick? I could never forgive myself!

And what if she doesn't? If she just watches as I'm thrown onto the street? What a betrayal that would be. But I understand completely. It's my own fault. If I could just control myself...

I looked at all the futures laid out before me, and I didn't like any of them.

But I wouldn't have to face them if...

Half-blind from the tears in my eyes, I scrambled for a kitchen knife before locking myself in the downstairs bathroom. I turned the faucet on and waited for the tub to fill up with water, stepping into it before I let the grief and the guilt and the shame control my hands, tightly gripping the kitchen knife and watching as every part of my body began to bleed, and bleed, and bleed, tinging the water pink as it soaked into the shirt I didn't even bother taking off. Finally, I downed all five of the pills he left for me. If this doesn't kill me, I might as well be a cockroach.

Yeah, that's pretty appropriate. Hard to kill, small, disgusting, hated.

It was only when I looked down at the inside of the now-empty bottle that I fully realized what I was about to do to myself, what I was about to do to her.

I knew what it felt like, to lose someone. To lose a sister. And now, I was gonna make her lose her brother.

I tried to convince myself this is the right thing to do. I'm like an old, cancer-ridden family dog to her, one that desperately needs to be put down. It's gonna hurt at first, but this was always gonna happen, better get it over with now, right? I'm not getting better, I know I won't, I'm damaged beyond repair. All I'm going to do is drag her down with me, and she doesn't deserve that. She deserves to live, truly live, and for her to live, I must die.

But... I promised.

Guilt swallowed me whole, and the worst part? It was too late.

I was barely cognizant enough to answer the phone when it rang. "... Hello...?"

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

"Hey... I'm just calling to check on you." It was Percy.

"Check on me?" I asked. "Why would you-"

"Because... It's Christmas. And I know that you... Haven't had the best, uh..." He sighed. "... I know this is the night you lost someone. And I want to make sure that you're ok."

I don't know if it was the pills or the blood loss or both, but I suddenly couldn't keep it in anymore. I burst into tears, distantly scolding myself for being so pathetic, but completely unable to stop. He... He wanted to make sure I was ok. He wanted me to be ok. He... He cared about me. How could I do this, not just to her, but to him? "I'm s-sorry, I... I don't know what's... W-what's wrong with m-me." I spluttered out. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise."

"Your... Promise?"

I sniffled. "... Remember when you begged me not to go home yet?"

Something seemed to click for him. "... Oh my god. Nico... I'm so sorry, I just... I'm so, so sorry. Do you need me to come over?" His voice, though rough and low and husky, was warm and comforting as summer rain on a tin roof.

"Percy... It's four in the morning. You need to go back to bed."

"I can't. Not until I know you're gonna be ok."

I let out a shaky breath. "The doors are unlocked."

"I'll be right there, just... Hang in there. Please." He hung up, and I crawled out of the tub. The first thing I did, the very first thing, was stick my fingers down my throat. My body shook with every heave, but once my stomach was empty again, I sighed in relief before flushing it.

I unplugged the tub, stood on my shaky legs, and reached in the medicine cabinet for ace bandages. It took three layers, on each arm, but I got the bleeding to stop.

I didn't even bother changing out of my clothes, soaked with blood water. I just wrapped a towel around my shoulders to shield myself from the inevitable gust of cold wind when I opened the door.

-

Percy's POV)

When he answered the door, I noticed how badly he was shaking. He had a towel wrapped around himself, save for one outstretched arm holding the door open, which was tightly wrapped in a bandage, and his black hair was sopping wet. His eyes were bloodshot and refused to turn to me, and he wouldn't speak, he just went over to the couch and sat down, leaving me to close the door behind me.

Once I did, I sat next to him, and he began to lean on me, his head resting on my chest. My eyes caught on his bandages, the stains glossy and fresh. "Do you... Need to go to a hospital?"

He shook his head.

"Are you sure? Because I can-"

"No." He cut me off, his tone completely emotionless.

I sighed. "Ok, then... Do you want me to hold you?"

He nodded, and I took his tired, bony body into my arms. He was so... Small. I could feel his ribcage expanding and contracting with each breath, and my chin rested easily on top of his head. Part of me scolded myself for having teased him for his weight. I should've known something was wrong. I did know something was wrong. I just didn't know what, and didn't want to figure it out.

We sat in silence for a while, my arms wrapped around him. "... So, should we talk about it?"

He nodded again, his bottom lip beginning to tremble before he bit down on it. "I... I don't know what to say. Dad was gone, I was panicking. Everything was so... Terrifying. And I didn't see a way out..." He sniffed. "... Then you called. Just hearing your voice, it's such a comfort, and... That's all I needed. That's all I've ever needed." He sobbed into my chest. "... So thank you. Thank you so much."

I stroked his back as he cried, holding him close as his screaming bawls ripped through his throat, reverberating painfully in my chest. "Shh, it's okay..." I cooed, my own throat knotting up a bit. It kills me to see him in such raw agony, and it kills me even more to know he's been like this the entire time, and he's only now letting himself show it. "Hey, just let it out, it's ok. It's ok not to be ok. The important thing is, you will be." I was trying to convince myself just as much as him. "One day, you'll be ok. You'll be better than ok, you'll be better than you could possibly imagine. It's not gonna be tomorrow, or anytime soon, but it'll come. Just trust me. Please, trust me. I know it's hard for you to trust people, and I know I'm partly to blame for that, and I'm so sorry that I let you down. But I'm begging you, if you never trust anything else that comes out of my mouth, at least believe me when I tell you that it's gonna be ok. Because it will be. It's gonna be ok... It's gonna be ok, it's gonna be ok, it's gonna be ok..." I repeated, doing my best to soothe him as his sobs slowly dissipated into silent tears, and eventually, even those became less frequent, until eventually, he wasn't crying at all anymore. "... Do you need anything to eat or drink?"

He thought for a little, and then shrugged.

"Well, better safe than sorry." I didn't wanna stand up. I didn't wanna go to the kitchen and leave him alone, for even a second. But I knew, from experience, that your feelings get really out of whack when you're hungry or dehydrated. So got him some water and an oatmeal cream pie, and set them down in front of him.

He seemed hesitant, tearing off the smallest bites and slowly chewing them. He didn't even touch the water.

"If you don't mind me asking... What happened?"

"... My dad... H-he was taking more pills than he should've been. It wasn't by a lot, I... He was right. I really was overreacting. And now he's out, and I don't know where, but I can probably fucking guess." He sighed. "... I shouldn't've said anything. If I had just given him what he wanted, he would've been sober for two whole months, he was so close and I just had to go and fuck everything up-"

"Nico, no." I felt defensive anger flare in my chest, which I welcomed like an old friend, my arms wrapping tighter around him, trying to protect him. From what, exactly, I couldn't tell you. "Your father is a grown ass man. You're a teenager. This is his fucking problem, not yours."

"But-"

"No. Listen to me, whatever he does, it's not your fault. It is never your fault. Do you hear me? Never."

He nodded. "... Ok." He whispered timidly. "... It just... Hurts. I-I was hurting, even back then, but... She was always there for me, whenever I needed her. A-and now she's not, and she never will be again, and... Th-there's no one left. Nobody's left for me to need, but I still... Need someone. Anyone."

"You have me."

I saw the ghost of a smile make its way onto his face. "... I have you." He repeated.

He was silent for a while, a long while. "... I don't understand how she put up with this. With me."

I bit my lip. "... She?"

He looked up at me and nodded, and I internally cursed myself for not realizing who he meant. "... Oh."

"Yeah. If... If I could tell her one thing.... It'd be how sorry I am, for being such a selfish, whiny brat. I didn't used to understand why she always seemed so on edge, but I get it now. She never asked to have to take care of me, have me follow her everywhere she went, and be all weird and annoying and embarrass her in front of all her friends. She never asked for this dorky little brother ruining any chance she had at a somewhat normal childhood. But that's what she got, and she couldn't do anything about it. And I had the gall to complain when she made me go to school in the morning."

"That's... A really harsh way to talk about your younger self, y'know."

He shrugged. "It's not like it's not true. I mean... You saw for yourself, right? You saw how hyper I was, how I could barely talk about anything other than Mythomagic for five minutes?"

"Well... Yeah, I remember. I remember how happy it made you. I remember, when I finally agreed to play with you, you were so excited that you grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me into your room. How you'd talk so fast that you tripped over your words, and you'd get your languages all mixed up, and you could barely tell me the instructions. You used to be so... Alive, Nico. I'd do anything to have that back."

He was silent for a long time, and when he finally did speak, it was barely above a whisper. "... Oh, stop it. You're gonna make me cry all over again."

"Then go ahead and cry, it's ok. I'm not gonna try to stop you."

He hugged me tighter and buried his face in my shirt, which I could feel growing wet with fresh, hot tears. I gently pet his hair as he cried, my arms still wrapped around his entire body, trying to reassure him, to comfort him. "It's ok, I'm right here. I'm always, always gonna be here. So... If you ever feel yourself getting worse, if you ever... God forbid, feel like this again... Tell me. Trust me, I'd rather stay up and comfort you like this every night for the rest of my life than let you leave it early."

He looked up at me, sweet brown eyes holding so much pain, so much damage, that I swear I could see cracks forming in them, as though they were made of glass. His arms wrapped around my neck. "... Ok." He mouthed.

My fingers ran through his hair. "Promise me you'll tell me? It doesn't have to be anywhere near this bad. Even if you've just had a shitty day, I want you to tell me, so I can make you feel better."

"I..." He let out a shaky breath. "... I promise. But that has to go both ways, ok?"

"It will, don't worry. I'm not making the same mistake again." I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. I just wanted to wrap the poor thing up in a million soft, warm blankets and bake him a big batch of cookies and never let anyone say a single unkind thing to him again. "You are so... Unbelievably precious to me. And I know you find that hard to believe that, I know you hate yourself... But I love you, ok?" The words slipped out so easily, I was sure none I had ever said before, or will say again, would hold so much certainty. It didn't even register as a confession.

He looked up at me. God, he was beautiful, even with tear tracks marring his face. Beautiful and loving and strong and overall perfect. How could he hate that? How could anyone? "... Percy, I... You what?" He looked... For some reason, betrayed.

I gaped at his reaction. "... I love you." I repeated.

"Stop." He pushed me away from him. "Stop it, don't do this to me. What the hell is wrong with you!? You think now's the time to pull a sick joke like that?"

"A... Joke? No!" I grabbed his hand. "Nico, why would I joke about something like this? I... How could you even think like that?"

"You don't love me. You don't, you can't!"

"I can, and I do." I sighed, my free hand reaching up to cup his face. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. How many times do I have to say it before you believe me?" His eyes met mine again, and I smiled a little. "I love you. Everything about you. At your worst, at your best, and everything in-between. I love you. I've loved you ever since we met again."

He looked at me like I hung the moon, even though I was still in my pajamas and hadn't brushed my hair. Of course, he looked even worse, and I still thought he was the most beautiful boy in the world. So I understand.

Suddenly, he pressed his lips to mine. My heart stuttered, and I felt so giddy. The moment was over too soon as he stared at me, panicked. "... Percy, I-I'm so sor-"

I shut him up with another kiss. "Never apologize for kissing me." I leaned in and pressed my lips to his again. He was so beautiful, he was so perfect. His soft hum as he relaxed into the kiss, the slight flavor of oatmeal cream pie, his frail, delicate body. Everything about him was so... Intoxicating. Eventually, I broke away, leaving us both gasping for air. "... You good there?"

He looked up at me through thick, dark lashes, and nodded. "I... I've been feeling so cold and so numb for so long, but right now, I feel... Alive. For the first time in years, I feel alive! And it's because of you..." He pressed his lips to mine again, quick and sweet. "... Thank you, Percy. For making me feel alive."

I smiled to myself, but it faded a little. I didn't wanna break his bubble, that this wouldn't last, that there should be a more permanent solution, but all of that was true. I eventually decided just to let him be for now. "... Do you wanna come home with me?" I asked. "Sorry if it's sudden, but... I don't wanna leave you alone right now, not when you're so... I dunno, vulnerable."

He sighed. "I'd love to. But are you sure your mom's not gonna be mad?"

"She'd never be mad at me for something like this. And she's not home tonight anyway. She's coming home in the morning."

"Oh... Well, ok. I just, um, need to change." He stood on shaky legs and made his way into his father's room. Eventually, he came out wearing oversized black pajamas, and he slipped on his green sweater and trenchcoat at the door before I opened it, walking him out to the car. He still shivered the second he was exposed to cold air, and I pressed him up against me, hoping to transfer some of my heat to his body.

-

Once we finally got out of the car and into the lobby, he slipped his trenchcoat off and leaned on me more and more, until eventually, I decided I'd just carry him. "Do you wanna just go to bed right away?"

He yawned and snuggled into my chest. "Mhm..."

"Ok, hon." It almost felt weird, calling him hon. But I didn't mind, and he didn't seem to either.

Once we were inside, I opened the door to my room. I laid him down in my bed and was about to leave before I felt him tugging at my sleeve. "... Stay?"

I smiled and laid down next to him. "Of course." It was a tight fit, but I didn't mind. He was practically on top of me anyway.

He yawned again. He was the cutest little thing, small and scruffy like a stray kitten. "... What are we, Percy?"

I smiled. "We're in love." I kissed his temple. "We can work out the details in the morning, doll."

He snuggled tighter under the covers. "va bene, carissimo."

And he was out like a light. Didn't even bother taking off his slippers.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

When first I woke up, I desperately had to pee. I was very careful not to wake Nico as I got up to go to the bathroom, but somehow, he was awake when I was finished. "... Percy?" His voice sounded so sad, so desperate, like a stray kitten mewling for its mother.

I sat next to him. "I'm right here baby. What is it?"

He shrugged, plopping his head on my lap. "I woke up, and you were gone. I got scared, I don't know why, but-"

"Hey, it's ok. It's ok, I'm here now." I slid back down to cuddle with him. "I'm right here..."

He relaxed again. "Can we just... Stay like this? Forever?"

I smiled. "I wish it could be forever." I kissed the top of his head, and he purred a little. "But just for a little while, yes."

He kissed my jaw. "It's so... Surreal. I've wanted you so badly for so long, and now I have you."

I blushed. "You have?"

"Yeah. For years, I..." He shrugged. "... I would agonize over it. I mean... Look at you. You're... You're perfect."

I rolled my eyes. "No I'm not."

He scoffed. "I know that, I know you're not literally perfect. Nobody is. But... You are to me."

I shook my head. "I can't believe you."

"What?"

"I can't believe you'd say something so sappy."

He gently pushed me. "Yeah, yeah. I know, but it's true. And I mean, considering your popularity, I'm obviously not alone. Really, who wouldn't be in awe of you when they first see you?"

I blushed. "... Yeah. And then I open my mouth, and, well..."

"... And what? We all fall in love with you even more?" He kissed my cheek. "Sorry. What are you gonna say?"

I shrugged. "I dunno." I do know, but I don't wanna sound attention-seeking.

He shifted a little so he was laying on his belly, on top of me. "Really, what is it?"

"I... I don't like talking about it. But I guess... I guess I need to at some point." I sat up on the bed, and he clung to me like a wet shirt, sitting in my lap. "I... I didn't always used to sound like this."

"Well, duh. I always just assumed puberty happened." His face dropped. "But... The way you said that makes me think something else did too."

I sighed. "Yeah. See... There was this... Guy." I took a deep breath. "He... He choked me." Even saying it made it feel so... Real. "I..." I felt myself getting choked up. "... I lost my voice entirely for a while there. Had to go to speech therapy to get it back."

His mouth was open in shock. "... It was really that bad?"

"Yeah, I had to go to the hospital. The doctor said I'm lucky to be alive."

His hand laid on my heart. "I'm so sorry. Why would someone do something like that?"

I shrugged. "He resented me, because I wasn't his. It wasn't the first time he hurt me, or mom for that matter."

"Your... Your mom?" He asked. "How old was he?"

"Older than her, I think. Age gap always grossed me out, even before I.... Knew..."

Something seemed to click in his mind. "So that's what you meant... When you said you weren't his."

I swallowed, unable to look him in the eye, unable to get enough air into my lungs, which felt as though they were constricted by rubber bands. "I..."

He cupped my face, wiping my tears with his thumb. I hadn't even realized I was crying. "I'm so sorry, Percy." He whispered again. "So, so sorry."

I sniffed. "Hey, he's gone now. Has been for years, it... It's ok."

"No it isn't. It's not ok, nothing about this is ok. You never should've gone through what you did." He crawled out of my lap and next to me, arms gently wrapped around my waist. "... I don't... Think any less of you, by the way. In case you're scared that I do."

I leaned on his shoulder and let out a shuddering breath. "I... I really should be over it by now."

"But... You're not." He hugged me a little tighter. "And that's ok. It's ok if you're still upset, if you still need to cry."

I scooted down and buried my face in his stomach as I did. I didn't want him to see my crying face, it's not pretty.

He stroked my hair, his thin, cold fingers ghosting over my scalp. "It's ok..." His voice was thick. "It's gonna be ok. You just let it out." I looked up, and he was crying too. I wiped my tears and tried to comfort him, but he stopped me. "It's ok, don't worry about me. It's just... It's just sympathy."

"You sure?" I asked. "Because, I mean..." I shrugged, unsure how to bring up last night.

He sighed, wiping his tears. "... Ok, maybe not entirely." He admitted.

"Seems like we both need a good cry, huh?"

He nodded, laying back down with me. "Seems both of us are fucked up."

"Yeah. But... That's ok. We've got each other." I stroked his hair. "I love you so much, sweetheart."

He smiled a bit and hugged me. "I love you too, mi anchora." I kissed him, and he kissed me back. "Is... Is that why you assumed the things you did? About... About my dad?"

I sighed. "... Yeah."

He kissed me again. "... I love you."

"You already said that."

He smiled. "I know, I just like saying it."

I kissed his forehead. "I love you too."

We cuddled and cried and poured our hearts out to each other, naked and vulnerable. It was better than sex, or at least, how I imagine sex feels like.

After a while, our tears were all dried up, and we were just holding each other. The bed was so... Warm... And my head was so fuzzy, in a nice way.

-

I woke up again to the sound of a door slamming. "Percy, I'm home!" jumped out of my bed to greet her, tackling her in a hug. "Hey, mom!"

"Hi there, honey." She hugged me back for a little before releasing me. "Oh, I missed you." She kissed my cheek and pulled away. When her eyes landed on Nico, however, she jumped back, letting out a little shriek of surprise. "Um... Hi! Sorry, I didn't see you."

"Oh, it's fine." He insisted from the kitchen. "I'm making french toast, by the way. To thank your son for letting me stay over."

"He stayed over?" She asked me. "Well, I hope you were at least safe."

"Mom!" I scolded. "It wasn't anything like that. He was just, uh..." I looked past her to see him self-consciously tugging at his sleeves. "... Having a bad night."

She looked to him. "Oh dear, what happened?"

He grimaced and went silent. "Mom, I don't think he wants to talk about it."

She nodded. "I'm sorry. Whatever it is, I hope you're feeling better now. And if you ever do wanna talk to me about it, you're always welcome to."

"Thanks, Miss Jackson." He turned back to the frying pan, seeming relieved.

"Oh, I forgot! His family got you some presents, they're still in the car."

I perked up. "Oh, nice! I'll go out and get them." I shrugged on my coat, slid on my shoes, and hugged Nico from behind. "I'll go out to the car, ok?" I kissed him on the cheek. It felt so... Natural now. Like we were magnets, or two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Just before I headed out, I caught my mom smiling at me. "Good job on landing him, sweetheart."

I laughed and shook my head before heading out to the car.

-

Nico's POV)

He ended up getting quite a bit. Most of it was clothes and blue candy, but he did get this fancy cologne too. His mom got him a subnautica poster, and even thought to get Hazel and I gloves, which I thanked her profusely for. After the three of us had eaten, it was starting to get dark, and I needed to get home, no matter how much I dreaded it.

His mother dropped me off, and when I went into the house, the very first think I heard was vomiting. I sat on the couch and waited for a bit, watching my dad stumble out of the bathroom, clutching his forehead. His eyes went wide when he saw me. "Nico... Hi." He wasn't drunk, I could tell. Just hungover. "I was scared you ran away from home, or... Or worse." He sighed and sat next to me on the couch. "Look, I... I made a real ass of myself last night, I'm not even gonna try to deny that. But you can't blame me for having a hard time staying sober this year, ok? I mean, it's bad enough that I lost one child, that's the reason I started drinking in the first place. And now I was at risk of losing another-"

"And all you did was turn it around and make it about you."

"Hey, no, that's not fair."

"Oh, it's not fair, is it? It's not fair for me to tell you that you've fucked up, that you've ignored me, that you've been so laser-focused on your own pain that you can't see mine?" I knew I shouldn't be so angry at him, but I was, and I was sick of hiding it. "Well I don't care if it's not fair! I don't care about whether or not you think it's fair for me to say that, because it's true! You might act like this nice, loving dad, you might act like you've changed, but deep down, you are the most selfish man I've ever met!" I was crying now, these loud, gasping, sputtering sobs. I'd lost all composure, all dignity.

"Then you have no idea how selfish people can be." He winced a little. "... Fuck. Where's the pills?" He looked over at me. "Did you... Did you flush them or something?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. "... I had to throw them up first." I looked down at the floor, and after a while, felt a hand on my back, and looked up to find that my dad had moved closer to me. He took me up in his arms and held me close to his chest.

"... You're right. You were right before too, you were right to withhold the pills, I'm sorry for fighting you on it, for not listening to you. And I'm so, so sorry... I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. When you tried to... Oh god!" He held me tighter, like I would disappear if he let go, and began to cry. "God, I can't even say it... It would've been my fault, if you'd been successful. It would've all been my fault. I knew what I was doing to you, that's the awful thing. I knew I was hurting you, but I just... Couldn't stop. I still can't stop, I don't know why I thought I could. All I can do is tell you that I'm sorry, and that I love you, and I know that's not enough. I'm sorry for that, too." He sniffed. "... You can do anything you want, scream, cry, hate my guts, whatever. But... Stay alive. Whatever you do, stay alive. I know it feels like a lot to ask, I know it feels hopeless, I know how much energy this horrid thing is sucking out of you, and there's nothing you'd rather do than let it take you under completely. But I'm begging you, stay alive."

"... You do?" I asked timidly.

He squeezed me tight. "... You didn't think I drove into that light pole by accident, did you?"

His words took a second to sink in. "... Papa, no..."

"I'm sorry, bambino."

I started crying again, clutching at his shirt like a lifeline. Neither one of us could stop. After a while, I looked up at him and felt his hand cup my face, leaning into his touch. Although I was devastated, I never felt as close to him as I do right now. I was relieved to know that someone out there understood what I was going through, and that he was right here, ready to catch me when I fall. As I thought back to that morning in the hospital, I felt a stab of guilt. I moved my arms from his waist to his neck, pulling our foreheads closer together. "... I'm sorry for chewing you out the next morning. It must've felt horrible to be berated like that after... After..." My voice cracked, and I had to stop.

"It's alright, I understand. You were angry, and you had been for a long time, and you were never able to express it. It was bound to boil over at some point."

I nodded, still clinging to him. "... I love you, dad."

"I love you too. And I'm sorry, for everything."

I almost felt like I was a child again, watching Columbo with him on his down days. As I leaned on his chest, rising and falling so slowly I thought he was asleep, he suddenly spoke up. "... I'm going to rehab."

"You... What?"

"First thing tomorrow morning, I'm gonna pick Hazel up from the airport, and... And start looking for places online. And hopefully, by the end of the day, I'll have found a place and contacted them."

I didn't know how to respond to that.

He continued. "I know it's gonna be hard, being separated from me for six weeks, especially now that you're in... The state you're in. But I'm doing this for you, ok? Both of you. I'm hoping that when I come back, I'll be better. And we can be... Y'know, a family. For real this time."

I nodded. "... Thank you."

"Hey, it's the least I could do after all I've put you through."

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

As soon as we got in the car, my dad sighed. "... So, about... What happened."

"Your relapse?"

He flinched. "Um... Yeah, that. I wanna make you a deal."

I was immediately skeptical. "... What kind of deal?"

"An... 'I won't tell if you don't' kind of deal."

"Tell... What? To who?"

"About what we did last night, either of us. To Hazel."

I bit my lip. "You... Want me to lie to her?"

"No, just... Don't bring it up. Let her assume that everything was normal. Look, I may not know her like you do, but I know she'll probably be... Really upset, if she found out. So don't let her find out."

I sighed. "And... If I do tell?"

"Then I will. I mean, what's the point of keeping secrets for you if you won't do the same for me?"

My jaw dropped. "You're... Threatening me."

"Threatening you? No, no, of course not! I'm just saying... A deal is a deal." The car stopped suddenly. "Oh crap, I didn't get her anything. Jeez... Um, you got her something though, right? Those leather boots, those are for her, right? Can you just say they were from both of us?"

I gave him my best death glare.

"... Yeah, that's what I thought." He steered himself into a department store. "Girls like spa day shit, right?"

I hopped out of the car, knowing immediately that he'd need help picking something out for her. We left that store about 30 dollars lighter for only a bottle of perfume and a candle, but it was worth it. For me, at least. And even though I was the one to pick them out, I'd tell her they were from him.

And no, I wouldn't tell her what happened on Christmas eve. I couldn't bear to tell her that I broke my promise to her, and I knew he felt the same way. Just one more thing about him that I can empathize with.

-

As soon as we spotted each other, she ran over to tackle me in a hug. "I missed you!"

I hugged her back. "I missed you too."

She let me go, and my father held his arms out. She hesitated for a little before hugging him, and the sight made my stomach drop. She didn't know, I didn't want her to know, and I was gonna have to lie my ass off. "So, how was Christmas? Wish I could've been there. Or that you two could've come with me."

"Pretty good, considering everything." Dad answered. We'd tried to keep things general. As Frank silently waved, she caught his eye and blew him a kiss before turning back to us. "Oh, I got you something."

She looked in the bag, and her face lit up. "Aww, thank you daddy." She kissed his cheek.

"And, uh... I've got a sort of announcement." He cleared his throat. "Um... Sometime soon, as in, a couple days soon, I'm going to rehab."

Her mouth dropped open. "Oh... Oh, um... Ok, that-that's great!"

She sat shotgun when we got into the car, and I carried her bags in. I was a little bitter, sure, but she deserved her time in the spotlight.

-

Percy's POV)

The next day, Paul came over. Mom baked a batch of cookies, and he sat next to me. "Heya, sport."

"Hey, Paul." I watched his face deflate in disappointment. We may have made up, but it would certainly be a while before I started calling him dad again. But he donned a bashful grin as my mom sat between us and kissed his cheek.

I took a cookie from the coffee table and started eating. "So... About the house."

I nearly spit out my cookie. I'd totally forgotten about that.

She sighed. "I... I do want to move in there. It's huge, and beautiful, and the mortgage is already paid off. It'll be much less expensive than rent, and away from all the noise and crime of the city. But..." She looked to me. "I don't want you to get uprooted. You've made a lot of friends, even gotten together with someone. I don't want you to have to leave all of that behind."

"Well... Maybe I don't. You said the baby wasn't due until like, June or July right?"

"Um... Yeah."

I shrugged. "I graduate in May. I can stay behind while you two move. Maybe apply to community college."

Mom blinked in surprise. "... Honey, are you sure? I mean... We've always been close, and I'll miss you, and I know you'll miss me. Besides, I want you to be there when she's born."

"Hey, I have my driver's license, I can take a little road trip. Besides, we weren't gonna live together for the rest of our lives."

She seemed to think it over. "... I... I'm not sure. I know it's for the best, but... I just need some time to get used to the idea. I was really hoping to get a decision made today, but..." She shrugged. "... Anyway. Do you two wanna play a board game or something? Just to lighten the mood?"

"Um... Sure."

He ended up beating me at checkers. Twice. But I won the third time. Though, I think he may have just felt sorry for me.

We had fun, though. He stayed for dinner, and even a little after that. And once the two finally parted ways, her expression dropped. "Sweetie... Are you sure you'll be ok on your own? I mean... I'm not trying to shame you, I know better than to demand perfection from you. I know you're only human, one who has to deal with trauma and ADHD and probably anxiety on top of all that, and it's hard for you to remember to take care of yourself and your surroundings, and that it always will because of those things. But... You also never really learned how either. And I don't wanna leave you alone until you do."

"Hey, it's fine. I'll survive, I always have."

She gave me that look, that terribly sad look she used to give me when I proudly told her I was fast enough to escape or small enough to slip through his fingers as though it was a game. "I don't want you to survive anymore. You've done enough surviving. We've... Done enough surviving." She sighed and tugged at her hair. "So... Let's make a deal. I'll move out and let you have the place to yourself, but only if you take Home Ec this last semester."

I nodded. "... Deal."

She hugged my side. "I love you, baby. Get ready for bed soon."

"Oh crap, it's that late already?"

She nodded.

After my shower, I laid in my bed, and was pretty much out like a light.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

It was New Year's Eve, and we were all at Jason's place, tuned into the new year's countdown, even though it was just a few minutes shy of 11. Well, all except Hazel, Piper, and Frank... And right as I say that, Frank comes in through the door. "Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late, had to wait until Clarisse was asleep and then sneak out."

"No problem, dude!" I chimed in. "I'm glad you're here. Where's Hazel?"

He shrugged. "Wanted to spend New Years with her brother."

"Really?" I asked as he sat to my left. "Even with her dad in the house?"

"Oh, he actually checked into rehab earlier today. Called me up all excited..." I could make out a faint blush on his face. "... Told me to tell anyone I wanted."

I nodded. "Good for him, it's about damn time."

Piper walked in an hour later, and as she hung her black puffer jacket on the coat rack and sat to my right, I could just barely make out 'Mr. Steal yo Girl' on her T-shirt, with a hot pink 'S' turning the 'Mr.' into a 'Mrs.' She looked miserable, which made sense considering she had just gotten off a six hour flight. I'd never gone on a plane, but the whole concept of Jetlag turned me off of the whole idea, not to mention airsickness. Then again, I never got carsick, like... Never.

I used to brag about that, that I had never, not once in my life, thrown up in the car. Well... Except that one time, on the drive back home from Montauk, but I'm sure that had more to do with all the seawater I accidentally drank.

She sighed and looked down at her phone, her thumb hovering over the facetime button. "... I shouldn't. She's probably asleep already. I just... Miss her so much." Her eyes flicked over to me. "I get why you had to take off school now."

I just nodded, I didn't know what else to say.

"... So... We're cool, right?" She asked.

I didn't know how to answer. Part of me wanted to say no, actually, we're not cool. You shacked up with my girlfriend, and now you're wearing a whole-ass T-shirt about it!

But... For some reason, I wasn't mad at her anymore. I mean, I have Nico now, and more importantly... I was happy for her. I was happy that my ex-girlfriend is happy.

I shrugged. "She's a real catch... Treat her right, or you're dead."

Piper's eyes widened, and she slowly nodded, as though she was afraid my empty threat wasn't so empty. Even I wasn't sure. "I will, don't worry. You have my word."

I turned my attention to the TV as it started counting down.

Ten... This doesn't mean anything.

Nine... This should mean something.

Eight... It means something to everyone else.

Seven... This is the night people vow to change their lives.

Six... To work out more.

Five... To study harder.

Four... To be more patient, more kind, more forgiving.

Three... To get sober.

Two... The night lovers kiss for good luck and shout their love to the rooftops.

One... I wish Nico was here.

I was the only one that didn't shout 'happy new year!'

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

As I walked into school on my first day after the break, I feared the worst. And the worst did, in fact, happen.

My assignment, from all the way back in August, had been stolen, copied a million times, and glued all around the school. It was like the climax of mean girls, except it was all targeted at one person: Me.

Everyone was reading it, some were smirking, some were slack-jawed, some were even laughing and sharing with their friends. I just wanted to turn around and walk back out that door, skip class today, skip class every day after that, drop out, start a new life somewhere far away, possibly in Michigan. I was just about to open the door when Hazel's hand caught my wrist. "Where are you going?"

I let out a strangled noise that I'm not sure how to describe. Oh shit. She's gonna hate me, I'm sure of it. Beyond the shadow of a doubt. "I... I can't-I..."

She shushed me and put her hand on my shoulder, gently corralling me outside, to a private-ish place, secluded and dark and blanketed with snow. "Ok, just breathe." I sucked in as deep of a breath as I could, rocking myself on the ground. "There we go, just like that. What happened? What was so bad back there? Was it all those papers?"

I looked over at her and nodded, not trusting my voice. I'm so pathetic, having to lean on her like this. I'm supposed to take care of her.

She sighed, looking so incredibly sad. "Were they about you?"

I nodded again, and she started rubbing my back. "Whatever those things say, it's not gonna change how much I love you. You know that, right?"

I leaned on her and sniffled, tears starting to stream down my face. "I don't want you to be afraid of me. I don't want you to think I'm... Wrong."

"Wrong? Why would I think that?"

I shrugged. I didn't want to, but I knew I'd have to tell her the truth. It was posted everywhere, covering the walls like black mold. "... Because I'm..." Oh god. Out with it already, don't make her wait. "... I'm gay."

Her eyes widened in shock for a moment, a second, a few seconds. Please don't hate me, please don't hate me, please do-

"Is that what those posters were about?"

"Um... Y-yeah-"

"Who did it?" Her voice turned murderous. "Do you know?"

I shook my head, even though I did. I didn't want her to get in trouble, or worse, hurt.

"I'm gonna find out who did, and I'm gonna make them pay."

I shook my head again. "Please, don't. You don't have to-"

She shoved her finger over my mouth. "Yes I do." She insisted, with such ferocity in her voice that I didn't dare argue. She stood up and offered me her hand, and after a while, I took it, and we walked back into the school in silence. She never told me she supported or approved of my sexuality, but she never said she didn't. And she was angry at the people that outed me, so that must mean she's ok with it. Still, I never got confirmation, and until I did, I couldn't be certain.

-

When I entered the school again, I made a beeline for the bathroom so I could wash myself up. I splashed water on my face and dried off with a paper towel, and when I opened my eyes again, Percy was there. "Hey... I saw the, um... Essay. And I, um... I was wondering if you were ok."

I hesitated for a moment, before I wrapped my arms around him and started crying again. Why was I crying so much today? Oh wait, my life just got ruined, that's why.

His big hand gently stroked my hair, his other arm around my waist. "That's about what I expected." He kissed my head. "I'm very sorry... Do you want me to walk you to class?"

I nodded, and tried, furiously, to wipe the tears from my face as I sat back in the same desk as before. Clarisse caught my eye from across the room, shaking her head and visibly angry, but I knew it wasn't at me. Maybe she'd get to Octavian and Cupid before Hazel could.

Mr. Blofis looked pissed too. "Class... I don't know who's behind all of this, but I'm very angry with them. And with anyone in this room who thinks something like this is funny. It's not. This is a disgusting, inexcusable violation of privacy, and if anyone in this room was involved, I'd advise you to come forward before somebody else points the finger at you. Because sure, if you fess up, you'll be in trouble. But if I hear it from someone else? And I can confirm that they're telling the truth? Then you'll really be in trouble."

A long bout of silence passed, and after a while, he sighed.

"Okay, then. Since none of you said anything, I'm assuming none of you know anything. Because I really don't like to do this, y'know? I know a lot of teachers will just power-trip for no reason and treat their students like criminals, and I don't wanna be another example of that. I want you guys to trust me, to know that I'm not trying to be the bad guy. But I'm not just gonna sit back and let one of my students be humiliated to keep the peace." He took a deep breath. "Now, let's try and take our minds off that whole debacle, whaddya say we watch a movie? How does Home Alone sound?"

It sounded ironic, considering my situation. But I went along with it, because it also sounded fun. And it was fun, I was able to... Forget. Snuggling up to my boyfriend in the dark.

My boyfriend.

I have a boyfriend.

And it was... Weird, having his step-dad make that speech. It felt nice to have an adult stand up for me. The only other adult that seemed to care about my wellbeing at all was Percy's mom. And yeah, I did feel a little... Put on the spot by it all. But he didn't call me by name or even specify what exactly he was calling out, though we all knew. He was clearly making an effort not to call attention to me.

Even though I was lost in my own thoughts, I noticed Drew standing from her seat to tell Mr. Blofis something. I couldn't hear it or see their expressions in the dark, but I couldn't imagine what she'd want to tell him. Was it about my essay? She was almost as homophobic as her brother, what could she have to add? That it wasn't a big deal? That it serves me right?

Oh well. I don't need to worry about that.

Because I have a boyfriend.

-

As I walked out of class, Drew held me back. Oh, great. "What do you want?" I spat.

She huffed. "I just ratted my brother out for you, maybe you should be a little more grateful."

I did a double take. "You... You? Seriously?"

She shrugged. "Silena started dating a girl, and I, uh... Had a change of heart."

"... Oh." I wasn't sure what to say, so I just... Stood there.

"What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know... An apology, maybe?" I asked, surprised at my sudden burst of confidence.

She scoffed, like I was ridiculous for asking such a thing of her. "That was my apology, dipshit. Now scoot."

I glared at her, but didn't say another word, just turned around for my next class. English, science, history, math, all of those were year-round classes. But my Italian class was upgraded to Italian II, and my art class was replaced with Home Ec. Which, surprisingly enough, Percy was also in.

The teacher, Miss Hestia, made it very clear that she didn't do written tests or anything like that. Instead, we'd do things in class with her guidance, and then at home too, and bring the results so she could grade them. It was pretty simple, and the first thing we did was make hot chocolate. It was the easiest thing to do, seeing as the only thing she even had to demonstrate was how to use a coffee pot to boil water.

I had really good luck, even finding out that this semester, Hazel and Frank both got the same lunch period as I did, which meant we'd all get to sit together. Things really seemed to look up for once... As long as I kept my eyes averted from the essay plastered all over the walls.

There was a crackly voice on the intercom, calling Cupid, by his real name, to the front office. Judging by the yelling, cursing, and wet 'thwap' of something covering my back, I assumed he was right behind me. Luckily, it only got on my overcoat, but I still stood and took the offending used lollipop off in the bathroom, cleaning it off the best I could with hand soap and paper towels. I didn't want the whole table to see my scars, after all.

Once it was dry enough, I went back out there and sat between my boyfriend and my sister, the latter looking the former up and down. She didn't say anything, but I knew she was gonna give him the classic 'prospective brother in law' treatment I gave Frank.

Today was good.

Surprisingly good.

But things would be very different now, in a way that couldn't be taken back.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

I woke up to Hazel knocking on my door. "Five more minutes." I grumbled.

"I made birthday pancakes!" She chirped. "They've got sprinkles in them."

Oh, crap! I forgot it was my birthday today! "Coming!" I called out, going down the stairs while still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. As I sat down at the counter, I noticed a box on the counter, wrapped and tied with a ribbon. "You... You got me a present?"

"Of course I did, it's your birthday, silly!" She tapped my nose. "I wasn't really sure what you like... But I went out to Hot Topic with Piper, and we tried to pick something nice. Eat your breakfast first, though." She pushed a stack of pancakes toward me, layered with white frosting instead of syrup, with 17 spelled out in rainbow sprinkles.

"Thank you." I started eating with her, but even though she ate all of hers, I was only able to finish about halfway before I had to stop. I was totally stuffed. "I think I'll have to save the rest of this in the fridge." I stood up and put it down in the fridge.

"That's ok. So, I know you don't normally like being around people, but I figured we should do something special today. Whaddya wanna do?"

"Not sure... Maybe call Percy over." Honestly, I wished my dad was here. But he was where he needed to be, so I didn't bring him up.

"Oh, are you two like, together or something?" She asked.

I shrugged. "I... Guess."

"You mean you're not sure?" She asked.

I shrugged again and opened the box. It was a Ramones T-shirt, black with the white circle emblem. I think I may have actually squealed, I know I hugged her. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm gonna try it on right now... Thank you!" I ran up to my bedroom and took off the shirt I was wearing to put it on, looking at myself in the mirror. It was a little loose on me, hanging off the shoulder, but I didn't mind. I wanted to show it off, even if I'd be cold in it. I got a different shirt of mine, a dark grey collared shirt that I rarely wore, and put it on under the shirt I just got, then my trench coat. I changed out of my sweatpants too, into my black jeans, then my red converse. I even slipped on the skull ring necklace passed down to me before looking at myself in the bathroom mirror.

For the first time in years, I wasn't disgusted by my reflection. I was actually proud of myself for putting effort into my appearance. Although... Some color would be nice. No, contrary to popular belief, I'm not repulsed by color.

I looked over at her side of the bathroom, laden with all sorts of products, makeup, hair gels... Nail polish.

Red nail polish.

Would... Would she be mad if I took some? It would only be the tiniest bit.

But what if I look ugly and it ruins the one day I don't feel like shit?

Well... I have those black leather gloves in my drawer. If it looks bad, I can just put them on so I don't have to look at them until they rub off.

I'll probably wear the gloves anyway, I don't want her to know I'm doing this. I mean... What if she get mad at me for a different reason?

I doubt that. She took my being gay in stride, why would she suddenly change her mind if I painted my nails? Just once? Just to see how it looks?

I sighed and took the bottle into my hands. I may never have the nerve to do this again.

So I unscrewed the cap.

-

Percy's POV)

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. "What the hell? It's so early! Probably like... 5 in the morning or something."

When I open my eyes, though, it's 11. "... Oh." I groaned to myself. Yet another Friday night spent playing video games. I really need to pull myself together if I'm gonna make it through the rest of this school year, let alone community college. Oh man... I was gonna have to apply and everything, and I'm gonna be living by myself, and... Oh shit, someone's calling me!

I answered the phone. "Yeah? Who's there?"

"It's Hazel... Um, so it's Nico's birthday today. And... I was wondering if you'd like to come over. He suggested I call, so.. I did."

"Um, yeah, yeah, I'll be right over there! I just need to get ready. Bye!" I scrambled up and darted to the shower. I had to make sure I looked the best I could. I put on the clothes I got from Paul's... Dad's... Side of the family. Jeans, a dark blue sweatshirt, and one of those big black puffer jackets. Mom was at work, so I just darted out the door, driving over to his place.

The way he came down from the stairs, with his trenchcoat behind him like black feathery wings... He didn't even need to do anything special to make my heart skip a beat. Yeah, I'm in love. As if I needed any more proof.

The moment was gone too soon, as he stopped just shy of me. "H-hi... Um... Thanks for coming."

I sat on the couch. "No problem, it's not like I had anything going on. And even if I did, I'm not gonna miss your birthday."

He sat next to me, and Hazel on his other side. They were discussing what to do for today. I suggested the skate park, but it was too snowy, and he didn't know how, and there would be people there who could judge him.

We decided to stay in and watch movies, which was kinda disappointing to me, but this was his day. I'll let him do whatever he wants today.

-

We ordered pizza for dinner, and since we told the pizza guy it was his birthday, we got a free tin of brownies. After a while, he took off his trenchcoat, and... "Holy crap dude, you listen to them too?"

He blushed a little. "I mean, yeah. I listen to a lot of stuff... Do you wanna come up to my room and we can, um... Listen together? I'll show you my favorite album of theirs."

By now, I was grinning like a madman, and agreed immediately. He took me up to his room, and we each shared an earbud, listening to his favorite album while sitting on his bed. About halfway through, he started pulling at his leather gloves, like he was uncomfortable. "Hey... You can take those off if you want to."

He bit his lip. "... I know. I..." He looked down at his hands, then up at me, then pulled them off.

His fingernails were painted red. Sloppily, too, like his hands were shaking when he applied the polish. He looked away, like he was ashamed, but I took his hands into mine and loked down at them, so small and graceful, and leaned down to kiss them. He's so, so perfect. "Y'know... I think green would be more your color." I smirked.

His cherry red lips gaped open, and my hands went up to hold his face. "You don't... Mind?"

I shook my head. "You look cute like this. Maybe sometime soon, we can go over to my place and I'll paint them properly. I've got a steady hand. For now... You wanna kiss me?"

He nodded, and without hesitation, I locked lips with his. Soon, I was tangling tongues with him, laying him on his back.

"Hey y'all, pizza's... Here..."

I popped my mouth off of his. "Hazel! I, um, we..."

His face was now as red as his nails. "We weren't gonna do anything, I swear!"

She took the scene in for a moment, and then started laughing. "'I guess' my left foot." She jerked her head to the door. "C'mon, the pizza's gonna get cold."

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

It was now the Friday before Valentine's day, a day I never used to like that much. Annabeth and I never celebrated it. 'I'm far too mature to get upset over not getting candy and flowers just because society dictates it.' She had said. 'I know you love me, I don't need you to prove it with material things, I'm not shallow like that.'

I couldn't say I wasn't glad that she didn't need any physical reminders that I loved her, since I'm broke and all, but looking back, she always seemed to act like she was 'too mature' for a lot of couple's things. Valentine's, anniversaries, matching costumes. And I kinda wonder if maybe she was just disinterested in me, and that's why she never wanted to do couple things. Or maybe she's learned to lower her expectations thanks to her whole, y'know, used-to-be-literally-homeless thing. Or a combination of the two, or a secret third thing. Or maybe she's just like this, and there's no big psychologi-

"Jackson, phone! Now!" Coach Hedge barked. Damn it, he must've seen it peeking out of my pocket. When I didn't immediately hand it over, he walked over to me, crossing his arms and glaring up from his 4'11 height. "Look, I know you kids are all obsessed with your snapped chats, and your instant grams, and your tweety birds, but I'm not bending the rules for you just because you're a senior."

"My mom's pregnant." I responded flatly. "I'm keeping this in case anything goes wrong."

"... Oh. That's weird, your mom's pregnant, my wife's pregnant... Must be something going around, huh?" He nudged me. "I'm just kidding. I know where babies come from, I have to do this whole big speech about it for the freshmen."

I felt my mouth gape open. "You have a wife?"

He seemed almost offended at the question. "Of course I have a wife, I'm forty."

I shrugged. "You never say anything about her."

"I don't usually delve into my personal life with my students." He straightened out his shirt. "But yes. If it's a boy, we're naming him Chuck after Chuck Norris."

I cracked a smile. "And if it's a girl?"

"Jackie. For Jackie Chan."

"Isn't Jackie Chan a guy too, though?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't think of an argument. "... Just... Get on the track, Jackson."

I rolled my eyes but obeyed, meeting up with Nico on the track. I had to slow down for him, because he had such cute short little legs. "So, any plans after school?" I asked. "Maybe for once, you're the one that needs help with your homework." I smirked.

He shrugged. "I dunno, do you have any clothes that need mending?" He asked. Oh, right. That.

"Oh, probably more than you can handle. But I think Miss Hestia wants us to work on our own stuff."

Nico pouted. "What? Scared I'll sew up all the crotch-holes in your underwear?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Wow. Y'know, with how much you brood and pout, you sure are a riot!" I nudged him.

He scoffed. "Yeah, don't expect me to go to an open mic or anything."

"Oh, no. A mouth like that was never made to tell jokes." His face turned the most beautiful shade of red. "Oh, not for that either." I teased. "Not until we're both ready."

"Well then, pray tell, what was my mouth made for?" He asked.

I took him by the shoulders and slowly leaned in, until our faces were an inch apart. "For this, of course." I put my lips on his, and after a little surprise, he leaned in. He tasted like coffee and chocolate, I assume because he packed that as his drink for lunch, the little caffeine junkie. At least he doesn't drink it black now, I like that he gives himself a little more pleasure.

I heard someone whistle and yell 'Get it, Jackson' in the background, and he yanked himself away from me, embarrassed.

But I heard another say 'That's my boy!'

Paul.

No...

Dad, again.

-

Nico's POV)

Mr. Blofis actually offered to drive me home after school, and I accepted. I was sick of walking to school, and part of me hoped it would be a daily thing, but I knew it wouldn't be.

Because in just a few days, he would be home.

But I wanted him now.

I wanted him to stay sober this time, or at least own up to it when he relapses instead of threatening to tell Hazel about my own broken promise. I wanted him to be just like how he was before, sure a little sad and a little tired and quiet just like me, but... There.

Suddenly, I knew what clothing item I wanted to mend.

As soon as I got home, I went through my closet and picked up the torn, frayed old aviator jacket that I haven't worn in months. Usually it's either my trenchcoat, my green sweater, or both. But... I missed that.

I missed him.

I missed my dad.

Again.

-

I picked up the sewing supplies Miss Hestia provided for me, and went to work. She had taught us a few fancy patterns, even basic embroidery, which I attempted, but my hand wasn't very steady, so the flowers ended up looking kind of wilted. I guess that's pretty fitting for me, though.

I even pricked my finger a couple times. Not on purpose, by the way, though I didn't bother with the thimble either, so that's not good.

This thing had a lot more holes and rips in it than I remember, and it took so much of the thread that I hoped Miss H. Wouldn't be mad at me. It is school property, after all. I'm not sure anyone expected students to use this much.

When I gave it to Miss Hestia, though, she seemed impressed. Most kids just did the running stitch, pulled it tight, and that was that. 'You tried', she said, 'you actually tried.'

She told me she wanted to talk with me one on one, too. So here I am, in the teacher's lounge. She held out a styrofoam cup. "It's chamomile."

I took her up on the offer, and to be honest, it didn't taste that different. "So... What did you wanna talk to me about?"

She shrugged. "Well, you're the only one that really seems to take interest in my class. But more importantly than that, your garment had a lot more holes than my other students."

I took another drink and reached for the honey. "And?"

She sighed. "... Is... Is everything ok at home?"

"Oh, boy." I muttered. "Sorry, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, yes you did. So, I'm assuming it's... Complicated, at best."

I couldn't tell her about dad. Not yet. But... Well, I had to explain my reaction at least a little bit. "... Well, we're not exactly the Brady Bunch. My... My mom, um..." Why the hell was I about to cry? "... I don't even remember her, but... I don't know."

She nodded somberly, sympathetically. "Well... If it makes you feel any better, I'm here if you need to talk. Whether it's about your mother, or anything else, or nothing at all. Any time you want, you can meet me here after school. Would you like that?"

I let out a shaky breath. "I... I would. I'd like that very much."

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

Today was the first day in a while that I woke up before Hazel, mostly because I was so excited. Finally, after a month and a half, my dad would be coming back home!

I made breakfast for us, eggs and bacon and toasted pop tarts, knowing her alarm would go off in a while. In the meantime, I got dressed in my Ramones shirt and my same ripped black skinny jeans, which were actually... Y'know, skinny on me now. I'd need new ones soon.

I wore his old jacket too, given new life and color from my hands. I didn't expect him to notice, but I was proud of it, of the new shoulder seam, especially. Where the rip from the hospital once was, now a thick, thorny blackberry vine stood in its place.

By the time I put on my shoes and got back out there, Hazel was already at the breakfast table. We were both in a bit of a hurry, so we didn't talk much, but as I gathered the dirty dishes up, a thought occurred to me; I'm actually looking forward to doing them now. I haven't cut since Christmas, it's not gonna hurt when I plunge my wrists into the warm, soapy water. And she knows now, so I can roll my sleeves up, or take the jacket off entirely.

"Frere?" Hazel asked sweetly behind me. "Is... Is everything alright? You've been staring at the dirty dishes for a while now."

I turned to her. "Oh, yeah. Just, um... Lost in thought, I guess."

She nodded. "... I love you." She smiled. "Please don't forget that."

"I won't." I was about to ask her where that came from, but Alecto's car beeped outside. Both of us jumped, and I took her hand, leading her out to our ride to the rehab center dad was staying at.

"Ok, pile in kids." She commanded around her cigarette. "Jesus, the things I do for your father."

"Nice to see you too, ma'am." I deadpanned, wanting to speak with her as little as possible as we got in the backseat.

-

When we pulled up and got out of the car, dad was already waiting for us with a box of his stuff, but he drops it in surprise. "Oh... You came to see me. I thought... I thought you'd be at school."

Hazel grinned up at him. "I guess we just couldn't wait another second. Nico called and got us the day off."

He looked over to me, confused, and I shrugged. "I've, uh, gotten good at mimicking you over the phone." I cleared my throat. "Y'know, for doctor's appointments and stuff."

I saw guilt wash over his face, as if he was just now realizing the extent of his neglect, though I knew he must've realized that long before now. "... Right."

I felt my hand move to my shoulder, the one he tore open, yanking it open to get me closer so he could... There's no better word for it than outing. It may not be exact, but that's the best word I can think of. And he yelled at me. He yelled at me too, when he relapsed, he yelled at me. Somehow, none of that had really settled in until now, at this very moment, when he's standing in front of us as a new man.

"... Nico?" He asked.

I jumped. "Right, sorry. Let's um... You two go ahead." I picked up the box he dropped while they went to the car, being careful not to drop anything at the cost of catching up to them, settling for watching Hazel get in the backseat as I took her place beside him.

"Oh great," Alecto snarled. "you finally got off booze. I wonder how long this is gonna last, two, maybe even three hours?"

Dad's eye twitched. "Alecto, if you make one more comment like that, you're fired."

Her entire demeanor changed, and she seemed to actually be afraid of him. "... Yes sir." She got into the drivers' seat without a word.

For some reason, dad got in the back seat, and I knew Hazel wouldn't wanna sit next to Alecto, so I bit the bullet and rode shotgun.

-

By the time we finally got back to the house, I started setting up his room with all his stuff while he made lunch for us. Honestly, though... I didn't really want any.

"Hey." He startled me, again.

I turned back. "Sorry, I..." I shrugged. "... What is it?"

"Nothing, I was just, um... Lunch is ready."

"Oh, um, thanks. I just need to get all my clothes and put them in my room... Since I've been staying here while you were gone."

He looked shocked. "... Oh. Is there something wrong with your room, or...?"

"No, I just... Missed you." I looked to him, silently pleading, begging him to say it back.

He sighed. "Yeah, well... I needed to get away. Away from this house, away from you, away from... Everything. I'm glad to be back, but... I'm glad I left."

I sat next to him. "... What do you mean, you needed to get away from me?"

"I didn't mean it like... Look, I... It's not your fault that you're hard to take care of."

I chewed the inside of my lip and nodded, gathering up my clothes in my arms and going upstairs to my room. That settled it, I wouldn't be eating with the rest of my family.

He didn't have any problem taking care of Hazel. I felt jealousy spring up inside of me and pushed it back down again. I'm different from her. She's happier, it only makes sense that she's easier too.

Or maybe my dad's just like that now. Maybe he can only love one person at a time right now. And if that's true, then I'd rather it be Hazel. I got to spend my whole childhood with him, she only just now got the chance to really know him.

But if I couldn't get attention from him, I knew I could get it from Percy.

-

Percy's POV)

I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket just as the teacher let us out for lunch, and answered it without hesitation. "Yeah, mom?"

"Oh, no, not your mom... It's Nico."

I stopped. "... Oh. Um... Hi. Not that I don't love hearing your voice, but... Why did you call me?"

"Well... I'm sad. And... I was hoping you could cheer me up, I guess."

I ducked into the bathroom for a little privacy. "Yeah? What is it?"

He sighed. "... I..."

"Don't worry, it's ok. You don't need to be embarrassed."

He stayed silent for a while before speaking again. "I... I know it sounds horrible, and horribly cliche, but... I feel guilty just for existing, y'know? For being the way I am, being so sad all the time."

I sighed and sat down on the toilet. This was gonna be a heavy conversation. "Yeah... I get that. I mean, with the ADHD and dyslexia, I mean, come on. If I could go back in time to when she was pregnant with me, I'd tell her to prepare for trouble and make it double."

"But that's different, I mean, those are disabilities."

"Yeah, well, so is depression."

There was a pause on the other end. Then... "... Your mom never... Told you, did she?"

"Told me what?"

"That... That you're hard to take care of."

"No, of course not... Why?"

Another pause.

"... No. Please tell me he didn't."

Yet another pause, this time longer. And then... I heard him cry, quiet whines and sniffles, making him sound so small, so defenseless.

I never, ever wanna hear that sound again. "I'm gonna kill him."

"He wasn't trying to be mean..." He tried to defend him, but I wasn't having any of it.

"I don't care. He hurt you, he got under your skin and made you feel like shit. You don't fucking deserve that." I sighed, wiping the tears from my face. Great, now I'm crying too. "... Meet me at my place for dinner, ok? I'll make it up to you, baby."

And although he was still crying a little bit, I could hear the smile in his "Okay."

Now I just needed to figure out dinner.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

The only reason I even said that was because my parents were going out to dinner tonight. I have zero idea what to cook, or how to cook, I don't even remember what's in the fridge! I couldn't ask him, it should be a surprise. And I don't wanna bother my mom... Fuck. I'm fucked.

When I got home, I thanked my luck that my mom was in the shower so she wouldn't question what I was doing, and called the one person who I know has both experience with fancy dinners and a semi-close relationship to Nico; Jason. "Hey... Dude? I need help."

"What happened? Did someone get hurt?"

"No. Dude, what? No, I just... I invited my boyfriend over for dinner, but I don't know how to cook. Like... At all."

"Ok, ok, calm down, what all do you have?"

I looked in the cabinet. There wasn't much in there that wasn't pre-packaged, though. "Um... Well, there's peanuts, and a jar of garlic and boxed macaroni and cheese, but I'm not just gonna... This is our first actual date, I want it to be special."

Jason laughed from the other end. "You're so cute. I think he's just happy to have been called over. Look, I need to run an errand for my stepmom soon, but if you're really that worked up about it, you can just use the pasta, save the cheese packet, and sauce it with something else."

"Like what?"

Jason paused. "I dunno, what do you have in the fridge?"

I opened it up and peered inside. "Ok, um... I have some spinach, some parmesan, and uh... Lemon juice? And-"

"Cool, so you can make pesto!"

I stopped. "I... I can?"

"Yeah. It's gonna be a little different than what you're used to, but you can."

"I've... Never had pesto."

"Oh, dude. It's the best pasta sauce on the market, at least to me. And it's Italian, too. Anyway, just mix all the stuff you just listed together, along with the peanuts and garlic you mentioned earlier, and some kind of oil, and any herbs you wanna add."

I laughed. "Dude, I don't know jack shit about herbs."

"That's alright, don't worry. Just put all that stuff in the food processor, you do have one of those, right?"

"Um... I don't think so. What does it do?"

Jason sighed. "Ok, it's basically like a blender-"

"I have a blender, can I use that?"

"Well... Yeah. It's gonna be smoother, but you can. And like, if you have any white meat, or even pork, that works best with a light sauce like pesto."

I looked back in the fridge. "Um... I have bacon. Will that work?"

"That'll be perfect. I'm sure he'll love it. He'll love that you even thought to make something from scratch."

I sighed, relieved. Thanks to home ec, I knew how to fry bacon. "Thanks, man. You're a life saver."

"No problem. Look, I really need to go, but call me when the date's over. I need to know how it goes." With that, he hung up, and left me to get to work. I didn't even think to ask Jason about drinks or desserts, let alone setting the table and shit. I'd have to figure all that out on my own. Maybe I could run to the corner store, get a bottle of sparkling grape juice or something. Ever since the royalties started coming in, we've had it a lot easier, so I could totally afford one of the nicer brands.

Just then, my mom stepped out of the bathroom with a robe on, the one dad got her for Christmas. "Hey, sweetheart! How was school?"

I smiled. "Oh, y'know, nothing too different. Classes are going as well as they can."

"That's great, hon. I'm glad that you're trying your best, and that it's paying off." She cupped my cheek and gently pinched it. "My little guppy."

"Mooom, shut up!"

She laughed lightly. "Alright, alright. I'm gonna go get dressed, then you'll have the apartment all to yourself."

-

Nico's POV)

The first thing I did after hearing that was take a shower. I had taken one this morning, I've been doing that more often now, but I wanted to be especially clean for him. I actually busted out my good, non-ripped pants, and my button-up shirt, layering the sweater over it, and then the trench coat. I knew I was getting ready a little too fast, it was only three by now, but I spent a good portion of that time just sitting around, looking at memes.

I slipped on my ring necklace and even my good shoes, black church loafers that now squeezed my feet a little too much, given that I haven't worn them in years. Now that I was ready, I went downstairs, hoping to find Hazel and ask if I could borrow some of her perfume, when I ran into my dad again. "Hey, bambi. What are you all dressed up for?"

Hazel smiled. "Are you going on a date or something?"

"A date?" He asked. "Who's the lucky girl?"

I grit my teeth. "None of your business." I muttered, not wanting to lie, or to have him potentially judge me. As bitter as I felt regarding him, his opinion still mattered to me. I still wanted him to think well of me.

He deflated at my coldness. "Oh. Well, can I at least drive you? Or give you money for the subway?"

"I'm good, thanks. I just came to ask if I could-..." No. Wanting to wear women's perfume to a date, that doesn't seem like something a straight guy would do. "... Never mind. See you two later."

-

Percy smiled at me from across the room. "Hey, pretty boy."

I felt heat rush to my face, noticing the bottle in his hands. "Is... That... Alcohol?"

He stopped. "What? No, of course not! It's just sparkling grape juice, don't worry." He added a nervous laugh and popped the bottle open. As I sat down next to him, I looked down to my plate, finding macaroni and green sauce, with little red chunks in it. "Did... You make pesto macaroni?" I asked, amused. There wasn't anything wrong with it, but that's not the kind of sauce that usually goes with macaroni.

"Pesto bacon macaroni." He tapped my nose. "Made it myself, too. Extra parmesan." He added, smirking like he was proud of himself. I'd be proud of myself too, if I were him. I took a bite, and I can't say it was the best pesto I've ever had, but it's pretty high up there. "You like it?"

I smiled. "Yeah... I do. I'm impressed, you went from barely being able to make canned soup to... This." I laughed, taking another forkful of pasta.

"Oh, you just wait until dessert." He kissed my cheek. "Well, I shouldn't say that. It's not actually that impressive."

I tisked. "Oh, Percy. I'm sure I'll love it."

He grinned and poured me a drink. I didn't have lunch, so I ate a lot of it. I even went in for seconds, which isn't very like me. But Percy seemed to go in the opposite direction, nibbling at his pasta like he was sick.

"... Is something wrong?" I asked. "You're not eating."

"Oh, no. I guess..." He stopped. "... Never mind."

"No, you can tell me. It's ok."

He sighed. "... I know..." He pulled his shirt up. "... This..." He put it back down. "It's not gonna last forever. Now that I'm off the swim team, there's nothing stopping me from getting all flabby."

I took a fork full of macaroni and put it in his mouth. "I'm not gonna let you deny yourself." I stated firmly, kissing him on the cheek. "I love you." I wanted to ask him why it mattered, but now didn't seem like the time.

"I love you too." He took another bite. "... Thanks."

"Anything for my boyfriend."

After I finished eating, he pulled out a bag of blue jelly beans. "So, I know you like coffee flavored stuff... So I dug through my candy stash and found that I had this laying around. I know I didn't make anything from scratch, but... I didn't have much time."

I shrug. "That's alright." I took a handful into my mouth. "Holy crap, these are amazing! How did they flavor these like coffee without making them brown?"

He shrugged. "Candy is magic, don't question it." I held the bag out, offering him a few. He took about three, less than I expected. We're not out of the woods just yet, then. "... Your nails are chipped." He pointed out. "I... I offered to paint them over for you, you wanna take me up on that?"

I shrugged. "I don't have my gloves, but... Sure."

"Why would you need your gloves?" He asked, getting up from his seat, beckoning me to follow.

"I mean... My dad doesn't know. And even if it was just my sister, all she knows is that I'm gay, not that I..."

He looked back at me. "That you what?" He asked, stopping in front of the bathroom door.

I sighed. "... It's weird. Because I like being a guy. I just don't like the pressure to be a Guy. Like, a capital 'G' Guy. Is that weird?" I had a very limited understanding of what 'trans' meant, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't it.

He opened the door for me, and I sat on the toilet seat patiently, noticing a pair of pliers in lieu of a hot water faucet handle, but deciding not to comment on it. "No, I don't think so. I mean, sometimes I wish I grew up as a girl. But... It's not the same way you're thinking." He pulled out a glittery black nail polish.

I rolled up my sleeves as I saw him sit on the tub opposite me. "Then what way is it?" I asked.

He shrugged, uncapping the bottle and starting to paint my nails. "I... There weren't any examples of... Good men, when I was growing up. There were bad men, plenty of bad men. Plenty of examples of what not to be. But when it came to what I should be... It's like good men just didn't exist. I know that's not true now, but... I still can't help but scare myself sometimes. I feel like... Like if I'm not careful, I'm gonna hurt everyone around me. And if I were a girl... If I were raised a girl... I wouldn't have to deal with that."

I bit the inside of my cheek. "... I dunno. I think you would, just later. But listen... I'm not afraid of you. I know you'd never hurt me. If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't be your boyfriend."

He let go of my hand, working on the other one now. "... Promise me, if you ever feel... Threatened... If you ever feel like you're unsafe around me... Leave."

I cracked a smile. "I promise."

-

It took a while to dry, and after we were sure my nails wouldn't get messed up, he moved me to his room. This is where he began to kiss me, gently. I was kissing him too, but it was mostly him kissing me. He moved up to my neck, and I couldn't believe my luck! He was still gentle, careful not to leave a hickey-

The door opened behind us. "... Um... Percy, sweetheart?" We froze at Sally's voice. "You didn't tell me you were having someone over."

I felt heat crawl up my face. "S-Sally!"

He donned a sheepish grin. "Sorry, mom. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing."

"I figured... Oh, I can't believe my little boy is growing up!" She squeaked. "And Nico?"

"Yeah?"

"You can just call me mom."

Chapter Text

Jason's POV)

After I hung up on Percy, I sat down in the driver's seat of my car, waiting for Leo to come in as I checked myself out in the mirror, feeling my blue eyes staring back at me, the only thing both my parents had in common. I adjusted my short, manageable white locs to stay out of my face, even as they're collected on the top of my head like a mohawk, making hair in the face an inevitability. Most people think I'm blonde, and I guess if you didn't know what albinism was, that's the only explanation for a hair color like mine.

Before I could think any further than that, I heard the car door open and close, and turned to face Leo. "Hey, hon. I'm gonna have to stop by my stepmom's place, she called me earlier."

He fake gagged. "I hate her. What the hell does she want?"

I shrugged. "Not sure, I'll have to go over there so I can find out." I backed out of the parking space, trying not to think too hard about the machinations behind her decision not to tell me what she needed over the phone. But I knew she wanted to rope me into it, make it harder for me to refuse, because that was always what happened when she did this. Not that I could refuse anyway, at least when I first came to live with her. I was small, and had just come from Beryl's house in L.A, and when she threatened to send me back, I believed she would.

I know my mom was suffering, but she scared me. And without Thalia to protect me, I was basically thrown to the wolves.

It sucks how much I resemble her. I could dye my hair, but what color would I even change it to? White just feels... Natural to me. It's what I'm used to. Even if it was a little too close to my mother's platinum blonde waves.

She tried to be perfect, to look perfect.

She tried so hard.

I have no clue where she is now.

I pulled up to the house I moved out of months ago and got out of the car. "Stay here." I mumbled, slamming the door shut and ringing my stepmother's doorbell.

She opened the door, a fake smile stretching across her lips. "Jason, hello."

"Hey, Hera. What did you want me to do?"

Her smile fell, but she held out a pink envelope. "Take this to your father."

"And why can't you do that yourself?"

"I don't wanna face him. But I'd be a bad wife if I didn't at least get him a card."

Sometimes, I wondered why she bothered with him. Why she didn't just file for divorce already. But then I remembered, oh yeah, she's too obsessed with her image. So instead, she forces me to be the middle man, the negotiator, the messenger boy.

I took the envelope and went out to the car, not even bothering to say goodbye or close the door. When I sat back in the driver's seat, part of me wanted to just go home, and toss the card in the garbage disposal. It's not like she'd know, they never talk. But as much as I disliked Hera, I still felt compelled to do what she asked. "We have to go to my dad's office."

Leo pouted. "Man, can we at least get churros or something?"

"Sure, after this. There's this new place that opened up only a month or two ago."

-

I knocked on the door of my dad's office, hearing clamoring on the other side, and after a few seconds, out scampers a young male model, his clothes falling off of him as he tripped over his own feet. I'd seen this guy around before, he was Ganymede, dad's favorite model. Well, excluding the female models, but he could never seem to find a favorite among them.

Yes, in addition to my dad owning a bunch of hotels, he also works at a modeling agency. Can you get any sleazier?

Right, I'm supposed to be giving him this godforsaken valentine. I pushed the door fully open and came face to face with my father. "... Um... Hi."

"Hello, Jason."

I stepped toward this man, this stranger. He may have created me, but he's barely been in my life since. I don't know this guy, not enough to trust him.

I extend the pink envelope. "Your wife told me to give you this."

He took it from my hands and opened it, looking bored as he read the script on the card. Honestly, I'd be bored too, I doubt she wrote anything additional in there, aside from her name. He looked back up at me, folding it on his desk. "Is that all, Jason?"

"Yes sir." I turn back towards the door, but found myself unable to leave. I looked over at my dad, really looked at him, at his dark skin and strong, composed features and sky-blue eyes staring back at me, like an older, male version of my big sister, fuzzy memories from my early childhood. "I miss Thalia." I sighed, more to myself than to him.

"Who?" He asked. "Oh, yeah, your sister. Sorry, I just have such an... Extensive history. I thought you were talking about one of my secretaries."

"Yeah, secretaries. Or models, or waitresses, or hotel receptionists, or naive starlets."

He scoffed. "You're just like your stepmother, constantly nagging me about my infidelity as if there was anything left of our marriage but a piece of paper and two hunks of metal."

"She still wants to save it, y'know."

He rolled his eyes.

I chewed the inside of my lip. "How do you justify being so homophobic when you sleep around with a guy?"

He shrugged. "Well, he's gay. So he's practically a woman."

I almost laughed at his logic, but didn't. The room was too tense for that.

To make a long story short, I got out of there, took Leo to Casa de Victoria, and we relaxed. From what Percy told me, his date went well too.

-

Thalia's POV)

I looked at myself in the mirror and fixed myself up, straightening the big, blocky spikes of my black and electric-blue-streaked afro with fingertips of gel, re-applying my smudged black lip gloss. Why's it smudged, you might be wondering?

Because of the panting redhead in the stall behind me.

"Wow... That was..."

"Something less depressing to put on your blog than endangerment stats?"

She hooked a tan, freckled arm across my shoulders. "Definitely. I mean... Holy guacamole." She kissed my cheek. "Speaking of, you wanna go get chipotle tomorrow?"

I rolled my eyes. "Look, I don't do dates, and I don't catch feelings. I told you that before."

She pouted, but turned heel, yanking up her painted-on jeans as she left the bathroom stall.

I looked back at my reflection, pulling my leather jacket over my Green day T-shirt and turning around to admire the silver tinsel stag horns sewn into the back as Katy Perry's 'I kissed a girl and I liked it' playing over the speakers, as if the DJ was psychic, but reading Red's thoughts instead of my own. I was no blushing virgin bride, I've done this so many times it's hard to keep track, both girls in the gang and girls outside it . And every time, it was a one-and-done deal.

Staring at the blue eyes of my parents, I felt the sting of my mother's words. 'You're just like your father.'

Yeah, well, my tongue can't get anyone pregnant.

I went out and met back up with her, tossing my helmet to her. "Let's get you to your dorm."

She just grinned at me, clearly out of it, swaying back and forth and giggling. "Ok zaps, whatever you say."

I got on my bike, and she sat behind me, letting me drive her to the dorms. Yeah, she's in college. For an art degree, specifically, even though she'll never have to work a day in her life, what with her parents being loaded and all.

I pulled up to find Reyna waiting for me, waiting for Rachel, to help her sneak into the dorms after hours. We manage not to get caught, and to bring her to her correct room, and then it's just her and me.

"... You should be wearing your helmet, y'know."

"It'll mess up my hair."

She scoffed. "So you'd rather crack your skull open than deal with helmet hair?"

"Much rather." I laughed. "So... How's the nw roommate treating you?"

"Pretty good. Annabeth mostly keeps to herself."

I stopped. "... Annabeth?" I was sure I'd heard that name before...

A few days after I ran away from home. I paid her bus fee and sat net to her to make sure no one kidnapped or molested her. She talked my ear off, ranting about buildings and how cool they look, but I remember her introducing herself as Annabeth.

"Thals? You ok?"

I nodded. "Yeah, just... I'll be back here tomorrow, ok?" I had to see for myself, had to see if she was the same one.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

Hanging out at Jason's house after school was surprisingly fun. Especially when Piper had called us there for some gossip. As already established, I'm one nosy fucker, so I just had to get in on it. And I dragged Nico along too, he needs to get out.

"Ok, so." She started, sitting on Jason's couch and pulling something up on your phone. "I follow this nature-slash-conservationist-slash-art blog. And the girl running the blog, R.E.D, she said she was gonna be staying in San Francisco. The very next blog post was about this girl she did the deed with, and her description perfectly matches Thalia's! At least, from what you told me." She shoved her phone towards Jason. "Here, just in case you think this is an early April fool's prank."

Jason skimmed the post and groaned. "Great, now I have an idea of how my sister is in bed." He gagged.

"Wait... That was your sister?" I asked. "I... I think I knew her."

He turned to me. "Really?"

"Yeah, she was friends with Annabeth back when we first met. Ran off with this weird biker gang after Luke got shitty, though."

"Luke?"

"Yeah, this... Guy. He was cool at first, and then shit happened, and..." I shrugged. "Not who we're talking about."

Nico, who had been pretty quiet through all of this, finally commented. "How'd you know her?"

"Um... Same way I knew Annabeth." Was all I said. I didn't wanna get all... Into it. Not in front of everyone.

I could tell he was curious, but he dropped the subject, and I appreciated that. We hung out a bit more, mostly talking about Thalia, trying to find ways to reach out to her. Piper and R.E.D actually knew each other somehow, so we decided she should get a hold of her. Eventually, I had to pick up my things and leave.

One of those things included a sack of flour. Yeah, Ms. Hestia had us do the classic flour baby thing that you see in all those 90's teenage sitcoms. Next thing you know, I'll have to dissect a frog in bio!

... On second thought, let's hope not, because my classroom has this display case of dead animals preserved in jars of formaldehyde, and they really freak me out. I swear, they're all staring at me. Those that have eyes, that is. Man, deep sea creatures really freak me out. They're cool, though. Like... Cronenberg monsters. They're super gross and I love them for that. I'd prefer to stick with the cute ones though, like baby sharks. Fuck, now I have that song stuck in my head all over again. Man, if they had Ipads back then, and my mom could've afforded one, my ADHD would probably be like... 12 times worse.

Nico elbowed me. "Babe, it's my turn." He held his arms out. I huffed and handed it to him.

So, since Nico and I are partners on this assignment, and we don't live together, we have to work out a custody arrangement. He'd keep the flour sack today, then I'd take it for tomorrow, and we'd back-and-forth like that . Honestly, it's kind of depressing when you think about it, because since most of the people she partnered up don't live together, she's basically making us roleplay divorced parents. And I don't want us to get divorced.

He smiled down at it, holding it in his arms like it's a real baby, and I snorted out a laugh. "You're taking this really seriously, aren't you?"

He pouted. "Y'know what? I may not let you have her tomorrow."

"Her?"

He nodded. "I've named her Daisy."

I laughed again. "Because it's a flour sack."

He shot me a glare.

I cleared my throat. "Sorry, she's a flour sack."

He smiled a little. "Good daddy." He poked me playfully. "Let's hope you keep it up by the time we have real kids."

I sighed. "... About that... I don't think I want kids."

He stopped. "... Oh. Why not?"

I sighed again. "... I don't wanna mess them up. I don't want them to become... Y'know... Like me."

"Oh, don't be like that. You're great."

"It's not that." I kicked an aluminum can down the street. "I'm... Damaged. Sorry if that's cliche, but here's no better way to put it. And I don't want it seeping out into other people. Especially if they're not kids." Getting to say it out loud, for the first time, was... Oddly exciting. Like, I get to say that. I get to tell someone that I'm never having kids. Never, not ever.

And although I could see the disappointment on his face, he didn't pout or try to change my mind. He just nodded solemnly, looking down at the flour baby. "Yeah... That makes sense. I get it."

"I can tell you're disappointed."

"Hey, it's ok. I'll just... Figure something out, I guess."

"... Ok." I decided to believe him in that moment. Once I was back home, I laid in bed, glad that I told him. I haven't even told my mom, even though I know she'd understand and probably be relieved.

It's not that I don't want to confide in her. It's not like I feel like she can't. But it's like... He's just... Better? I don't know why. I feel terrible for even saying it. But...

Like, when I've had a panic attack, and he's comforting me. It calms me down faster than when she does it. It's like, even though she's trying to calm me down, it's laced with anxiety. Or I maybe that's my perception, a carryover from... From those moments. When she had to protect me. When she would tell me that the house wasn't safe, the world wasn't safe, for either of us. But she would protect me. No matter what, she'd always protect me.

Now she's leaving. And yeah, I wanted her to, I still want to. I still want to get independent, find my own place in the world.

But the world isn't safe.

-

Nico's POV)

The conversation continued until I was at my dad's house, mostly just talking about video games. I was so distracted with saying goodbye that I stumbled on the last step. Even though I didn't fall, I caught myself on one of the stones that made up the wall, a sharp one, that slipped and sliced open my palm.

I looked down at the blood dripping from my hand, transfixed. Fascinated by the pain. The pain I used to crave. That I still do.

More, urged my mind, my arms itching with desire.

No. No, no, no. I can't.

I put the flour sack on the counter, trying to push my thoughts away. I said hi to Hazel, went up to my room, and went on my phone, playing games, trying to distract myself. But the desire only grew.

I rolled down my sleeves, passing one hand along to the other. My hands were shaking, and I dropped my phone, cracks forming to match the white crosshatches of my skin.

There was nothing I could cut with.

So I scratched. I scraped my arms with my fingernails, clawing at the old scars, begging for something to open up-

"... Nico?"

My heart stopped. She was standing in the doorway, right in front of me. There was no hiding.

"Nico, dad's about to start cooking dinner. He sent me for you... What are you doing?" She asked, with that edge that told me she knew exactly what I was doing.

I stood up, unable to look at her directly. "... I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad at you." She reminded me. "But... But why? You were doing so well, you hadn't done this since October-"

"Christmas." I corrected her. I couldn't do this, I couldn't lie to her anymore.

She looked devastated. "... Nico, I... I told you... I made you promise... I trusted you!"

"I trusted me too!" I shot up standing. "I trusted myself, I trusted dad... And then..."

Her face turned dark. "... What happened?" She asked. "What did he do!?"

I felt my throat knot up. "He kept taking his pills more often than he should've, and I was worried about him, and we got in a fight... And... He left. He stormed out to go get drunk somewhere. I... I panicked. It all just came out of nowhere, and... And I tried to..."

Realization spread on her face, and her arms wrapped around me, squeezing me tight like the night in the hospital, like she never wanted to let me go.

She did, though, eventually, and stormed off towards dad. I watched her yell at him from the doorway, grabbing her phone off the counter and opening the front door. "I'm leaving for Franks because just being in the same house as you makes me feel sick. I'll be back in the morning. Maybe."

She slammed the door, leaving my dad in shock.

I glared down at him. "Well, there goes Hazel."

He sighed and climbed up the stairs. "She'll get over it."

"You say that like you know her." I spat as I went into my room.

I was about to slam the door in his face, but he jammed his foot in the door. "Nico-"

"You don't know shit about her. Her respect for and trust in you have both been obliterated, and I don't think either one is gonna be repaired for a very long time. And until then, you're stuck with me, which I know you don't want, because I'm just so difficult, aren't I?"

There was a moment of silence. He sat on my bed and looked ashamed. Good, you should. Look how horrible you made me feel.

"Nico, I... I'm not good with words, you should know that. I just... It... Look, I do love you. And it... It hurts. It hurts to see you like this, and it scares me. I was the same way when I was your age, so I know how bad it can get. I never meant to guilt you or anything, I swear on my life, I didn't. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, you did." I sat down next to him. "... I don't know how much longer I can do this for. How much longer I can go from being angry and hurt to understanding and sympathetic with the flip of a switch. I get that you need time to heal and become better, and I have to live with you while that's happening, frankly, because it's the law. But... I'm not sure how I'm gonna survive, living with you while you're still sorting your shit out. It's... Suffocating."

I watched his face as he processed what I was saying. "... Maybe we both need therapy, then, if you're gonna come out of this in one piece."

'Gee, ya think?' was what I wanted to say, holding onto the venom, letting myself feel it. But... I was soft. I was always a little soft on my dad than I should've been. And I couldn't help but get a little sentimental at the fact that my dad cared about me. That he wanted me to be ok. Part of his disfunction was my fault, after all. I was such a mess, in such constant pain. It was probably a lot to process for the old man, and he said it himself, it's hard to watch. I understand if he needs to look away. So I just nodded, leaning on him and sighing.

He was all I had. The only person in my life who could relate to my depression.

So no matter how much thoughtless hurt he put onto me, I would always seek him out.

Chapter Text

Reyna's POV)

Today was visitation day. I had it saved on my phone and everything, the day I was supposed to finally go down and see Hylla.

Hylla, the sister I loved more than anything. Who protected me from our father when he had his outbursts, who took the fall for me when the cops found his dead body and accused me, an 8 year old, of murder. I was planning on running for governor specifically so I could free her, and anyone who had to kill to escape abuse.

I did my hair a little different today, remembering old skills from the salon I used to work at, trying to stash away a little extra money for when I inevitably aged out of the system. Of course, I didn't, my mom recognized my name and got me back, but by then, I developed some real ugly anger issues, so she sent me to military school to straighten me out. I don't know why parents do that when their kids are mad at them, since now I know my way around a gun. I could've shot her when I got back, she may have been my blood mom, but to me she was just some lady. I didn't, obviously. I knew the law wouldn't be kind to me. Besides, I know shooting people is wrong unless they're a threat, and even though I was mad at her for sending me away, I knew she wasn't a threat. They weren't really anger issues, they were trust issues, but they turned into anger issues because I knew talking wasn't gonna get me anywhere.

I told Annabeth I was going out, though I didn't tell her where. No doubt, I'd get a load of shit about how I shouldn't be looking to get into politics when I have an incarcerated sister because that'll make me biased and 'soft on crime'. Maybe it does. I don't know. All I know is that I've seen what it does to people, and I don't think anyone should have the right to take away someone's dignity like that.

I called over Thalia to pick me up and drop me off, told her not to bother staying parked outside because she and I can really get to talking. I know, I know, motorcycles are dangerous, but they're faster than the bus and I don't have a car.

She showed up knocking at the dorm, and I opened the door to meet her. "Hey, you ready?" She asked.

Annabeth looked up from her book. "... Who's that?"

I shrugged. "A friend of mine, no one you would know."

"No, I... I recognize her. I recognize that voice." She insisted, getting off the bed and stepping closer to Thalia. "... Lia?" She breathed.

Blue eyes sparked with recognition. "Beth!"

I looked between them. "... How do you two know each other?"

Annabeth tensed. "It's... A long story."

-

Thalia's POV)

I knew exactly how that long story went.

Me, on the bus, seeing a 7 year old nervously pick through her coins to pay the fare. I had just run away that night, my funds were still high. I paid her way, obviously.

I made sure to protect her from any creeps on the bus, struck up a little conversation with her. That's how I found out she ran away too. She wasn't sure where she wanted to go, but I was. I wanted to go to New York, meet my dad, all that happy shit. That didn't end up happening, but I had some good times traveling across the country with her. Met up with Luke, joined the huntresses, dipped when Luke started getting into drugs, now I'm here. I never thought I'd see her again, I thought she was gonna be another Jason. Another situation where I had to leave someone I loved behind, for my own safety.

We decided that, once I dropped Reyna off, I'd go back here, and we'd catch up.

I got back in the door and sat on Annabeth's bed. Reyna's always been touchy about her stuff. "So... You've been good, I hope. Finally get together with that Jackson guy?"

She grimaced. "Oh... Yeah, about that. We did, but then, um... We broke up. It was my fault, I cheated on him. Honestly, I wasn't that sure if I liked him like that at that point, I guess it doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry, you what!?"

"I... I cheated on him." I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket, but ignored it. "I made out with this girl one time, and I hid it from him for a while... I told him the truth in the end, but by that time, it was too late. I couldn't save our relationship no matter how hard I tried. Honestly, I was kind of relieved, since I was free to date her, but he was really upset. He had to take some time off of school, even. Fuck, man... Am I, like... A bad person?"

I sighed. "... No. I don't think there's such a thing as a bad person. Most of us do bad stuff like that in our lives, y'know? And that doesn't mean we're just permanently bad. Just like doing something really good doesn't make you permanently good. So the whole 'good person/bad person' thing is kind of useless."

"I guess... But like, I don't know. He told me it would take a really long time for him to forgive me."

"So? That's him. If he doesn't wanna forgive you, that's his business. It doesn't reflect shit about you."

She sighed. "... I guess. Anyway, I have to go to the bathroom."

"Ok, bye." Once she was gone, I finally reached into my phone to check the text I had gotten.

'Hey, Thalia, it's Rachel again, y'know, the girl you slept with a few days ago? I asked Diana for your number, told her it's super important. Because it is. See, I posted about you on my blog, only used your first name of course, but someone messaged me saying your description matched one of her ex boyfriend's big sister. He wants to reconnect, so I messaged you to ask if you actually have a little brother, and if you do, is his name Jason?'

I smiled down at my phone. 'yeah, his name's Jason. Where is he?'

It took a few seconds before she responded. 'he's living in NYC.'

Well... I guess I know where I'm going next.

Chapter Text

Percy's POV)

I watched as Octavian stormed out of the principal's office to face his father. "Does this mean I can go back to Jupiter Academy, father?"

"For the last time, I'm not your dad. And no, you're going to military school."

He whined. "No, please, I won't last a day in there!"

The older man shrugged. "Not my problem."

I'll admit, I felt a little bad for getting him expelled, watching them disappear down the hall, taking the walk of shame I know all too well. But he's been tormenting everyone else since he got here, and he outed my boyfriend, so I didn't let myself pity him too much. Cupid would be gone in a few days too.

Dad walked out of the principal's office a few minutes later, and turned to me. "Well... There's that settled." He stepped closer to me. "How about we go get cheeseburgers for dinner tonight? Your mother's royalties just came in."

"That sounds great."

He walked me out to the car, where mom was waiting in the drivers' seat.

-

We stopped at McDonalds, agreeing to actually go into the restaurant instead of just going through the drive through. I actually ordered a happy meal, because I saw they were giving out mythomagic cards as prizes. It felt a little awkward, but I thought he'd appreciate it, even if he doesn't play anymore.

We went through the usual conversations, telling each other how our days went, apparently she's started a second book, and then dad started to get visibly nervous. "... So, should we start thinking about the wedding?"

I choked a little on my coke. "... Right. I kinda... Forgot about that."

"Yeah, I was worried you had. I don't really have a preference for when or where, but... I wouldn't want it to be too close to your graduation. Oh, speaking of graduation, do you have any plans for college? You don't have to do everything at once, y'know. I had to take a gap year, it's no big deal."

I shrugged. "I mean, I always figured I'd cross that bridge when I get to it."

"Well... You're getting awfully close."

She nudged him. "Honey, don't pressure him."

He turned to my mom. "Right, sorry. I got off track... So... Do you mind if you show during the wedding?"

Mom shrugged. "I'm sure I can find maternity wedding dresses. Besides, as much as I love her... I don't want little babies crying at my wedding. But she's due in May, so we'd have to go for an April wedding. But I don't know which would be worse; Having to move house while I'm pregnant, or having to move house right after childbirth." She looked at me. "You know I don't regret having you sweetheart, not one bit. But... It was taxing. And I promised myself, if I ever had to do that again, I wouldn't be going back to work the next morning, because... That was rough."

Dad squeezed her hand. "I'll hire some people to move your stuff for you, ok? You won't have to do any heavy lifting."

She smiled a little. "... I guess I can wait until after she's here, then. Besides, I want you to be there." She grabbed my hand under the table.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

She looked back at dad. "Well... It's finally real. I can't believe it, but... Someday soon, we're going to Ithaca!"

"Yeah. It'll be nice to be back home after so long. I get why Odysseus was so determined."

She hummed. "And lucky for you, you won't be coming back to see your wife surrounded by gentleman callers."

He laughed. "No, they all know not to mess with you."

He kissed mom's cheek, and my phone went off. "Oh, hold on." I hurried to the bathroom before answering my phone. "Yeah?"

"She's here, she's here!"

"Woah, hold on... Who's here?"

"Thalia, my sister! I... Oh my god... She's visiting for a couple days. She stopped by my house, I set her up in this luxury hotel... She wants to meet all my friends. Are you free tomorrow for lunch?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll be there... Should I... Bring my boyfriend?" It felt great to say that phrase out loud.

"Yeah, I think they'd get along great!"

-

Nico's POV)

There were so many people at the hotel, it was honestly kind of overwhelming. It was like a chosen family reunion, everyone's either met everyone else, or at least heard about them.

But eventually, my eyes settled on the one person I didn't already know. Dark skin, spiky black hair, a jacket with so many patches and pins and spikes that I wasn't even sure what it was originally made out of. She looked amazing, honestly. If I were single, and had any interest in women, I'd definitely have a crush on her.

She was talking to Percy, actually. I stepped closer, and she turned her head towards me. "Oh, hey. Nico, right?"

I was too nervous to speak, so I nodded.

She smiled. "Oh man, Percy's been telling me about you."

"Oh. You... Know each other?" I asked, sitting on the couch next to her.

"Yeah! He's the little pipsqueak Annabeth got all goo-goo eyes over back at the shelter."

I looked up at him. "Oh, that's adorable. I didn't know you volunteered."

The smile slid off his face. "... No, not... Not as a volunteer."

I suddenly understood, and I wasn't sure how to feel. I didn't think any less of him, of course, but I can't say I didn't think any differently of him either. He's been through some shit, I knew that, but I didn't realize how much shit until now.

He sat down beside me, and after a few minutes of awkward silence, I finally got the nerve to ask her where she bought the patches on her jacket.

She laughed. "I made them. Duh."

I felt my mouth gape open. "Wait... Seriously? That's super impressive, I actually sewed all these on mine!" I showed off the embroidered flowers I stitched into my jacket. "So... How long have you had the jacket? It must be like... 20 years, huh? With how many patches are on there."

"What? No, I just patch it up because I feel like it."

I suddenly felt embarrassed. "... Oh. Sorry, it's just... That's why I stitched mine up."

"Cool. Do you... Do that for all your stuff?"

"I mean, I only learned how pretty recently, so... No."

"So, what do you do then? Just throw them away?"

"Of course not! I just... Wear them anyway. This shirt is the newest thing in my closet."

She stared at me, mouth agape. "Oh, man. We've gotta change that. How 'bout we get you a makeover?" She offered. "I need to stock up a little anyway."

-

She ended up dragging Percy and I to this weird hole-in-the-wall clothes shop. It might've been a thrift shop, I'm not completely sure, but most of what was in there was... Pretty cool. A small part of me wanted to buy the whole store, but I didn't want to stress out her budget too much. Percy just kinda hung around in the entrance, fiddling with his fingers. He was only here to see me post-makeover anyway.

I didn't look for a shirt, because the one I was wearing, the one Hazel got me for my birthday, was already great. But I found some nice pants to go with it. One side was solid black, but the other was black and green plaid, which I didn't even know was an option for pants. I thought they were all solid.

I immediately grabbed them off the rack, obviously.

I got myself some new shoes too, converse again, this time black with sea green laces, and a ribbon of the same color, which you're supposed to tie around your neck. I even found this really pretty locket. It had a purple-red hyacinth painted on with enamel while the rest of it was silver.

Thalia paid for my haul, then led me to the bathroom, where I would begin my transformation. She didn't need to do much, but she did put liner on my eyes, nearly poking them out in the process. It was worth it though, it made me look like a raccoon. I loved it.

She even replaced the chipped remnants of my sister's nail polish with a new, dark purple-red coating. It's my second favorite, honestly.

I was about to take off my jacket, because it was getting hot, but I stopped. I couldn't have her see my wrists.

She seemed to understand. I don't know how, but she did. "... You wanna see something cool?" She reached into her bag and pulled out one of her pairs of black lace tights, cutting the crotch out and handing them to me.

I was... Confused. "Um, what do I do with these?"

"You put them on under your shirt." She looked away from me, granting me a little privacy. "They're lighter than a real shirt, and a tiny bit more see-through, but the pattern's too busy for anyone to notice anything underneath."

"... Do... You... Know people who...?"

"Yeah, a few girls have. Some of the places we go to get pretty hot, so they either use that trick, or they get tattoos."

I heeded her advice and slipped my shirt off, putting the newly-formed undershirt on. It... Turned into mittens at the end, though. "Um, I can't... Use my hands."

She sighed and grabbed the scissors. "You mind if I look?"

"Well, you'd kind of need to... So no."

She turned to me and cut the tights to free my fingers, snipping a hole for my thumb like gloves.

"Thanks... Really, for all of this." I put my sister's ring necklace back on, and the locket on a chain that went down to my belly, and the ribbon I picked out as a choker.

I walked out of the bathroom and grinned at Percy, the first time he's seen my bare arms since... I shook my head. "Pretty cool, huh?"

His jaw dropped, and he took my hands in his. I noticed two spiked leather cuffs around his wrists, which I suppose he bought with his own money. I didn't realize he had a side like that too, but I didn't mention it. "Wow... You... Wow. Holy crap, I mean... You've always looked great, but now, I mean... You look like you, y'know?"

I stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. "I do." I looked back, and, without even thinking, threw my arms around Thalia, a friend that I may never meet again. "Thank you, thank you so much!"

She bristled a little, and gently pushed me away. "Ok, half-pint, let's not get all sentimental. Your eyeliner'll run." She joked. "Seriously... It was no sweat. I'm glad you're happy, though."

I nodded, smiling so much my cheeks hurt, and checked the time. "... Oh crap, I'm running late! Sorry, you two. I'll... I'll call you." I put my jacket back on and went out the door. It was only March, and the building might've been warm, but the outside weather certainly wasn't.

-

Dad was waiting for me in the car, and I hurried to sit in the passenger seat. "Hey! I got us twinkies and coffee..." He looked at me closer. "... Are you wearing... Eyeliner?"

I started to panic.

Like, my chest got tight. I felt my breathing constrict, oh god, I haven't come out to my dad yet! Oh shit, oh shit, what's he gonna-

"Hey, hey, it's ok." His voice cut through the panic. I felt his hand on mine, and tried to take deeper breaths. "Look... I'd be happy to have another daughter, if... If that's what you want. Or... Or something else entirely. I'm not sure how, but... I'd still be your dad. No matter what, ok?"

I took a moment to really understand what he was saying. "... It's not like that, dad. But, um... While we're on the subject... I was hoping to, um... Bring in a son-in-law."

I watched for his reaction, but his face was unreadable. "... Well, it can't be just anyone. I've gotta make sure he's gonna treat you right before I let you run off with him."

I smiled, appreciating his support. I thought it was gonna be a big deal, but... Thank goodness, it wasn't.

He held out a package of twinkies, and I tore into them. "... Remember when I... When we tried to make you a cake out of these?" I asked.

He huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, I remember. You used a whole pot of coffee too. It was like... Cake soup. But I loved it anyway, because... You made it. Because you wanted to do something nice for me. I... I've always loved that about you. You always wanted to do something nice for someone. Even when I was at my low point, you still did... So much more than I ever had a right to ask of you."

"Well, I mean... Who else would do it?" I shot back, grabbing my coffee from the cupholder. It had creamer and sugar, but not much. Just enough to take the edge off of the bitterness.

He sighed. "... True. But you could've let the house go to shit, you could've wallowed in your own depression right alongside me. But... You didn't."

"... I did, actually, for the most part. I took care of the basics, made sure we'd survive. I would get you aspirin and shit, but... I didn't even do laundry for a while. Then Hazel moved in, and I couldn't really stay in survival mode anymore."

He didn't reply to that for a while. I guess it's a pretty depressing thing to hear from your son, though, so I understood. He just stepped on the gas, driving us to therapy.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

I adjusted the locket around my neck, the one I got during my makeover, in the mirror. The dark green tie and black button up made the bright colors stand out more than anything. I had looped it around so it fell modestly onto my tie, rather than my belly button like it originally did, onto the black pinstriped pattern of my suit, borrowed from my father's closet and even adjusted to fit me.

"Wow... I look a little like a mafioso, don't I?" I asked, turning to face him. "You did too, didn't you? On your wedding day."

He sighed fondly. "Oh yeah. Made a lot of godfather references at the reception. Her side of the family was..." He clicked his tongue. "... Not amused."

"Really? Why not?"

"Oh, they thought I was subtly accusing them of being involved with the mob."

"Oh my... Well, were they?"

He looked at me quizzically. "If they had that kind of money, do you really think we'd still be living here?"

I laughed, shaking my head.

Suddenly, it hit me.

This is what his addiction took from me, from us, for years.

This is what he's been fighting to take back.

"... What's wrong?"

I felt my throat knot up, and turned to wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his chest. "I'm so glad to have you back." I managed, my voice thick with tears threatening to spill.

His arms wrapped tightly around me, and I could tell he was getting choked up too. "I'm glad to have me back too, angioletto." He let me go after a little bit, running his fingers through my hair. "... Jesus, you need a haircut."

"I like keeping it long." I insisted. "... Ok. Let's go out to Montauk."

-

As we started driving, we sat in silence for a while, but eventually, dad wanted to start up some conversation. "So... This boy. What's he like?"

"Well... He's funny, for one. Very protective, too. He's really sweet and caring and..."

"... What'd you say his name was again?"

"Percy. I... I think you've met him before."

"Yeah. Yeah, he had to stay at our house for a while. His mother's a very kind woman, I'm glad she's getting married." He smiles, which is rare for him. "Does he have a career plan laid out? I don't just mean ambition, I mean a proper plan."

"Well, no, but he's been working since he was, like, 14."

He stopped. "... Fourteen?"

"Yeah, his boss sucked too. He had to quit for his mental health. Kinda sad, honestly."

He sighed. "That's just not right." He agreed. "I mean, an apprenticeship is one thing, but full-on work... That's not right. I'm glad he's not working anymore. A boy his age should be focused on school."

I hummed. "... So. Do you... Approve?"

"... We'll see."

-

Percy's POV)

She looked beautiful. Her white dress flowed like the waves crashing into the shore behind her, proudly showing her baby bump. My little sister. And since her father and grandpa were both dead... I was the one to walk her down the aisle.

Looking back at the chairs, our friends filled the seats on the left, and although I recognized Victoria and her wife in the back, there were other women that I'd never seen before. Coworkers or people from her support group. The people on the right must've been dad's side of the family.

I sat down nearest the aisle, in the front row. Nico was next to me, so excited and happy for her, for me. "Wow... You got a suit for this?"

"Of course I did, it's my mom's wedding!"

He cracked a smile. "Glad you're not wearing that ridiculous shark tooth."

"Shut up." I nudged him.

He smirked. "Make me."

I rolled my eyes, but pecked him on the lips anyway, leaving him red as a cherry. I turned my attention back to my mom.

It was surreal to think, with all the drama, all the chaos and all the tears this past year, she finally got her happy ending. In just a few minutes, they were married.

As soon as she stepped off the platform, I ran to hug her, and so did a few of her friends. "I'm so proud of you!" Some cheered. "You made it!"

I wasn't sure what to say, and in fact, I didn't need to say anything. There were too many thoughts and emotions swirling around in my head to put into words, but she always understood anyway.

The cake was... Well, it was actually a bunch of cupcakes, I just stacked them into a pyramid and filled in the blanks with frosting, so it looks like a regular cake. I don't know why, but cupcakes seem less intimidating to make than a full blown cake. And yeah, I made it myself. Those home ec classes really paid off, even if I still bought the frosting and cake mix instead of making my own. I didn't make anything else either, we got Hog Heaven to cater. I hear they're under new management, and I've also heard they're nicer than my old boss.

I got myself a slice of cake, careful not to get any of the bright blue dye on my suit. It was a rental.

"Oh, no, it's just sparkling grape juice." I heard my mom reassure... Someone. "I mean, I'm pregnant! I'm not gonna serve alcohol at a wedding where the bride is pregnant!"

That someone chuckled lowly. "Well, that's a relief, then." He got closer, and I turned around to see Hades, a glass of virgin champagne in his hand. "So, you're the boy that's been going out with my son?" He asked.

I felt my heart in my throat. "Um... Yes sir." I mumbled through my cake filled mouth.

His son appeared beside him and tisked. "Percy, hon, you have a little something on your... Y'know what? I'll get it." He licked his thumb and wiped frosting off of the corner of my mouth, putting that thumb back in his mouth. "Oh, it's cream cheese."

I kissed his nose and looked back to his father, smiling at us. "You're good for him, I think. I... We've had conflicts in the past, but I can put those aside for his sake. Those conflicts were mostly spurred from your love for him, after all."

"Ok, let's not get too depressing." His son warned him. "This is a wedding, after all."

He hummed. "Right, of course. But... I've known you and your mother both for a long time. You've both had a history of... Money troubles, shall we say?"

I stepped back. "I, well, yes, but-"

"What I'm saying is, I'd be very willing to pay your rent if you're planning on having him move in when he graduates."

It was Nico's turn to balk at his dad. "You'd be ok with that?"

"Of course. I wouldn't want either of your grades declining, and I have the means."

"I... I mean, I wasn't sure if you'd want me moving out so soon."

He patted his son on the back. "If that's what you wish, I'll happily oblige."

I heard music start, and my parents went onto the dance floor as they started their first dance as husband and wife. I wasn't in a dancing mood, really, so I just walked over to watch her, as did my boyfriend, and his dad, and everyone who came to her wedding.

Once the music was over, she riled up to toss the bouquet behind her, and then...

She fell to her knees.

I rushed over, barely registering the record scratch in the distance. "Mom! Are you ok?"

She groaned, her hands on her stomach. "I... Think my water broke."

-

We rushed her to the hospital in dad's beat up white prius. She grabbed her newlywed husband's hand, but rushed everyone else out. Nothing personal, she just needed space.

An hour or so later, I was, with shaking hands, filling out her name at the courthouse, hoping that I got everything right. I even got Nico to check it over, just to make sure I didn't misspell anything, because I really couldn't tell.

He smiled up at me. "Yeah, you did it right. Estelle Pearl Jackson-Blofis."

As soon as I was able to be by her side, I was. She was panting, sweating, hadn't even had the chance to change out of her wedding dress, stained with... Goop. That's all I'm gonna call it. Goop. "Oh man... I'm gonna need to take a trip to the dry cleaners..." She laughed, still a little delirious.

Dad squeezed her hand. "I'll take care of it, don't worry."

She smiled. "I'm so glad I married you." She hummed, turning her head to the doctor. "... Is the baby ok?"

"She's... Small. But that's to be expected, she's a preemie after all. And she's healthy for a preemie. She doesn't seem to have any complications, so you'll be free to go home tomorrow morning."

"Why do I have to stay overnight?" She asked.

"Well, it's late, for one. And you still need a few hours to recover from all this."

I sighed in relief, glad that my mom and sister were both ok.

Well... This was gonna be fun.

Chapter Text

Nico's POV)

It's been five years.

Five years since Estelle was born, five years since my boyfriend graduated...

He's going to university right now, after a year of community college. He's actually doing really well. It's a wonder what accommodations can do. We're gonna graduate at the same time, in fact, and that's honestly really exciting, but also kind of nerve-racking too.

I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket, and stopped walking for a second before I answered. "Hazy?" I asked. I didn't get a call from her very often nowadays.

"No, no, it's... It's your dad."

I couldn't help but be disappointed. It made sense, she was busy with wedding planning and finding someone to take her place at the ranch. "Oh... Hey. Why'd you call?"

"No reason, really. I just, um... Wanted to check on you, see how you were doing. How are you doing?"

"I'm ok. Just got off of work, so y'know, I'm a bit tired."

He sighed. "I wish you weren't working."

I rolled my eyes. "Dad, we've had this conversation before."

"I just think you and him should both be focusing on your education."

"Well, thank you for your concern, but I can't let myself rely on your money forever. Besides, it's an arcade, nothing too dangerous."

"Arcades aren't entirely safe either! What if one of the machines malfunctions and there's an electrical fire?"

I sighed. "There are two different fire extinguishers in the building, and a first aid kit in case anyone gets burned."

"Sorry, sorry, I just... I worry."

Something sharp and bitter pricked my heart. Where was all that worry back when I needed it, dad? I wanted to ask him. My bedroom could've been riddled with black mold and you wouldn't have known, wouldn't've even thought to check, because you were catatonic on the couch.

Of course I didn't. He's better now, I don't need to bring that up. It would do nothing but hurt him. Make him feel like a failure.

Isn't he, though?

"Nico?"

I flinched at his voice, at the sudden noise interrupting my internal debate. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was just... Spacing out." I can only hope I've kept the ache of my throat out of my voice, its urge to tie itself into a knot whenever I think too hard about what I had to live with for four years.

"Oh... Ok. I'm, uh... Glad you feel ok. Goodnight."

I sighed. "Goodnight, dad." I hung up and kept walking.

-

I opened the door to a dark apartment, with a light in the kitchen. White wine was on the counter, right beside Percy, who was standing in front of the stove, and I blinked in surprise. "Percy?"

"Yeah?" He turned to me, stirring something in the pot.

I strode up beside him. "Why did you...?" I gestured to the wine on the counter. "Why did you buy this?"

"Oh! Um, I just, uh, wanted to make you risotto tonight. I didn't know how, and that's what the recipe called for. Sorry for not asking-"

"No, no, it's fine. That's... Actually really sweet of you. I'm not upset. I was just... A little surprised."

He smiled and bent to kiss me on the cheek. "I can give the rest away to the neighbors if you want."

I felt my face heat up. "... That'd be great." I kiss his cheek back and opened the fridge. I reached for the ginger ale for a moment, but I've been meaning to get more vitamins in, so I grabbed the bottle of cranberry juice in the back instead. I know, I know, I eat like I'm seventy, but it had blackberry and pomegranate in there too, so it was sweet enough to drink for pleasure, rather than just the sake of my intestinal tract.

That sounded gross.

I poured myself a glass and went to the table to wait, and after a few minutes, he joined me, setting two plates of risotto, salmon, and garlic bread onto the table, and a can of berry blue soda for himself. "This is really nice." I told him, and it was.

"Yeah, well, I figured if I'd have to cook every Friday, I may as well go all out... How was therapy, by the way?" He asked.

"Therapy was good." I grabbed my spoon and scooped up some risotto. "It was hard, but it was good." I blew on my food before putting it in my mouth.

"I'm glad."

I smiled a little, swallowing the delicious bite already in my mouth. I picked up my fork and knife to cut into the salmon, just now noticing the pill next to his drink. "... You're starting your dulox?" I asked.

He seemed surprised I noticed. "Um... Yeah. I mean, Annabeth's gonna be at the wedding, and... I figured it could help make me not freak out from all the tension."

"Oh. They've made an invite list already?" I asked.

"Yeah. Soon, all that's left to do is catering and the dress... Sorry I didn't tell you about all that earlier."

"No, it's fine." I smile. "I hope I'll be there for that. She'll look so pretty in all those different dresses." The words snagged on my throat, and I couldn't help but smile. She was really getting married. She's come so far, I'm so proud of her.

We ate the rest of the meal, talking about shows we like, weird dreams we had last night, news about friends and neighbors.

Soon, though, our plates were clean, and I put them in the sink. I've had my juice, so I made myself a ginger ale float with some vanilla ice cream, and made one for him too, with his berry blue soda. We drank them on the couch, watching the season 2 finale of Columbo, and once the last drop was drunk, I put those glasses in the sink too, and Percy went to take a shower. He always took super long in the shower, so I laid down in bed by myself, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. The doc said I should do some 'inner child work' when I go home tonight. I'm not sure how to go about it, but I think I've got the picture.

I pulled out my phone, plugged my earbuds in, and retreated into my mind as the calming music distracted me from any outside noise.

-

Suddenly, I was at a graveyard. A dense fog skirted around my hips, and I heard crying.

I waded trough the fog towards the source of it, kneeling down until I was face to face with myself, nine years prior to all of this. "Wh-who are you?" He asked, and did my voice sound so desperate and watery back then, or was this an imperfect memory?

I shook the question off. It doesn't matter now. "I'm... I'm you, from the future." I opened my arms up. "And yeah, things get worse for a while, I'm not gonna lie to you. But... We're gonna be ok."

He tucks himself into my lap. "... She's dead." He chokes out. "And now dad... I miss him so much even though he's there because... He's not. Not really. And now I have to do everything myself and, and, and..." He couldn't even finish his list of all the things going wrong before he got overwhelmed.

I held him close. "I know. I've been there too. But I've been places you haven't. Dad gets better again. And yeah, Bianca's dead. And that's a terrible, terrible thing, and it's never going to change. But you'll find other people that care about you just as deeply as she did... Y'know that boy that you like? That you're angry at right now?" I ask, cupping his cheek. "We never stopped liking him. And guess what?"

He looked up at me, his cheeks still red from the strain of crying so hard for so long. "What?"

I gave him a little smile. "He likes us back. And we're together now, and we go to college together, and live together in an apartment, and sometime's it's noisy and the dishwasher won't work, but it's... It's home. We're home, and we're happier than you thought was possible for us."

His eyes sparked in amazement, and he huddled closer. "Do... Do we still... Hurt ourselves?"

I smiled. "No. No, no, never again. Three years, two months, eight days, and counting." I sighed, and suddenly realized how horrific the practice was. I no longer saw it as harmless, no longer was my body acceptable collateral. This helpless child inside of me, who's already been through so much torment and pain, doesn't deserve to hurt and bleed. He deserves to be comforted and protected.

I deserve to be comforted and protected.

Ever since I committed myself to staying clean, I've done it for other people. I know they love me, and I don't wanna break their hearts. But... For once, I'm able to see myself the way they do.

I held him tighter still. "I'm sorry for being so cruel to you. For hurting you, for saying all those awful things about you, to you in the mirror every night before bed." My eyes were misted over. "I didn't mean a word of it, I promise."

His fingers grasped my shirt. "... Ok." He and I stayed like that for a bit, just holding each other. He's so small in my arms, so delicate. I wish I could stay here and protect him forever.

But I couldn't. I had to leave and be big. Maybe some other time, I can come back for him.

-

I forced my eyes open, and felt tears on my face. My arms were across my chest. I'd been hugging myself.

I sat up and wiped my eyes, looking up at Percy, who had a towel around his waist. "... Hey." He sat on our bed. "Hey, c'mere. What's wrong?"

I threw my arms around him. "Nothing's wrong."

His fingers ran through my hair. "Then why are you crying?"

I smiled just a tiny bit. "Because I'm alive." I buried my face in his naked chest, soft clean skin against my cheek. "I'm so glad I'm alive."

He held me tight, his chin resting on my head. "I am too." He didn't say anything after that, he just held me.

This wasn't the first time that he's held me. Not even the first time since I moved here. But this wasn't like my Christmas Eve attempt at sixteen, or my relapse three years ago.

They were happy tears now. Relieved, grateful hopeful tears.

We made it, little me.

I'm proud of us.