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'See you around then?,' Frank says, hooking the strap of his backpack around his good shoulder.
Claudia nods. She's smiling at Frank, a little forced. Comfort, the wolf thinks. Need to comfort them. Frank resists the urge. He's almost out the door, backpack heavy on his shoulder, when he feels a hand on his, gripping around his palm. Claudia's voice is soft.
'The moon is close.'
It is. Frank's body has been screaming at him that it is, pain shooting through his bones, through his scars, the bite marks, old and new, and scratches from past moons that didn't heal right and the thin lines across his chest that still turn an angry red every fucking month, the urge to move, the urge to bite bite bite. Frank hasn't said anything. He's been subtly chewing on his fingers, nagging away at the calloused tips, and pretending that nothing was going on, pretending that he can't feel Ray's and Mikey's and Claudia's eyes on him.
'I know,' Frank says. And, just to be a little petty, he adds, 'I am a werewolf, I don't fucking forget about the moon.'
'Frankie.'
Oh Jesus fucking Christ, Frank is hoping with all his heart that Claudia doesn't ask him to stay. He won't be able to say no. He'll regret the decision, because he's still so hurt, because he doesn't know what spending a moon with his pack after years apart will do to his psyche. But he won't be able to say no.
'I can take care of myself,' Frank spits.
Because I had to, he adds bitterly in his head. Because you fucking left me. My pack fucking left me.
'Frankie,' Claudia says again. They swallow. 'Linds and Bee are gone for the weekend. If you need a place to-'
Frank's fingers turn white as the grip around the strap of his backpack tightens. The rational human wants to yell at Claudia to leave him the fuck alone. They're friends, they play music, they are chill with each other. They're not a pack. Not anymore.
'Claudia, I -.' Frank bites his tongue. The wolf wins. It always fucking wins. 'Okay. Okay.'
~~
Ray's there. Mikey's there, too, and Claudia, but Mikey and Claudia are moving around the house while Ray has been tasked with keeping Frank company. Ray's left hand is under Frank's chin, scratching the stubble Frank was too lazy to shave this morning. His right hand lies on the back of Frank's head holding him close. Frank can't help but lean into the touch, as embarrassing as it is, curling closer into Ray until his forehead presses against Ray's neck. Ray still smells like he belongs to his pack. Smells like home. Smells like safe. Frank's become so used to not having this that the smell is almost overwhelming.
'Good boy,' Ray says, quietly enough that Frank is sure that he's the only one to hear it.
A whimper, small and pathetic, escapes Frank's lips and he feels blood shoot up into his face. If Ray notices, and he must because Frank can physically feel the skin of his face growing hot, he doesn't comment on it. The weight of Frank's heating pad, still slightly warm, lies heavy against Frank's bad shoulder, trying to combat the constant ache that never seems to leave him alone, but worsens so much around the full moon.
'Frank? Frankie, you're grinding your teeth,' Ray mumbles.
Oh. Only now that Ray has said it does Frank notice he actually is grinding his teeth. He focuses on relaxing his jaw, pulls his lower lip between his teeth and bites it.
'Bite, please?,' he whispers, not being able to get his words to cooperate further.
Ray runs his hand down the back of Frank's head.
'Sure thing, dude.'
The hand at the back of Frank's head disappears for a second, then it's back, holding a little silicone ghost to Frank's lips. Wordlessly, Frank takes it in between his teeth and bites down. His tongue pokes against the silicone, not used to the odd feeling against his tongue. He prefers somebody's arm or cuffs, and Tucker is usually chill with it, but Frank is pretty certain Ray won't let him chew through his t-shirt.
With the small ghost secure between his molars, Frank nuzzles his face back against Ray's neck. The urge to be close is overwhelming once again. Ray smells so much like pack. Like safe. God, Frank is glad Ray is with him instead of Claudia because he is sure that he'd have left all his dignity behind already if he'd been curled up in Claudia's lap.
~~
The moon comes. No matter how many transformations Frank goes through, how bad the ache leading up to the moon is, Frank will never get used to the searing pain of his bones shifting out of place. He isn't alone when he transforms, Ray is still with him. Frank is still glad it's Ray. Ray is the safe choice to be around when he's clawing at his own head, desperately trying to not listen to his joints crackle as they shift into place.
Ray, the wolf thinks slowly. Pack. Safe.
His throat flutters with a howl, long and low, and then he's on top of Ray, pressing his shoulders down to the ground with big paws, wiggling his tail in the air as he licks Ray's face.
Ray, the wolf thinks, a little less slow.
'Stop it, Frankie,' Ray says, giggling softly. 'Your getting your slobber all over me.'
Frank doesn't understand why that is a bad thing, so he licks again.
'Hey, Frankie.'
Frank turns his head. Mikey, the wolf thinks. His eyes and ears could be misleading him, but the smell is unmistakably Mikey. Frank noses against Ray's neck a last time and then he's off him, pulled forward almost as if on an invisible string with so much more energy than Frank ever remembers having this early in a transformation.
Mikey, the wolf thinks happily. Pack. Safe.
'Wanna play fetch, buddy?,' Mikey asks.
Frank's ears perk up. His trot picks up in speed and he sits in front of Mikey, looking at him attentively. He hears Ray laugh from behind him and his head cocks to the side, not understanding what made Ray laugh.
'Good boy,' Mikey says, scratching behind the dark fur at Frank's left ear. 'Go fetch.'
A ball whizzes past Frank's head. Frank's paws run before Frank has even understood what is happening.
Mikey, the wolf thinks, excited, as he runs back to him with the ball in between his flews. Pack. Safe.
~~
Frank awakes with his head lying on top of a soft stomach. He cracks an eye open. The room is still dark, and there's only the breath of one person audible, the rhythm synchronous with the rise and fall of the chest right in front of Frank's muzzle. Claudia, the wolf thinks. It's their smell, soft and cozy and smelling like home, like pack, like safe.
'Hey, puppy,' Claudia mumbles.
Her fingers settle on the top of Frank's head and slowly pet back and forth.
'Did you have fun with Mikey and Ray? I bet you did. I just hope your body will forgive you tomorrow, this can't have been easy on your bones.'
Frank doesn't understand even half of the words Claudia is saying. It doesn't matter. The wolf has always loved this about Claudia, her willingness to just talk and talk and talk and fill the silence that Frank can't fill right now.
Claudia, the wolf thinks, content. Pack. Safe.
'I didn't want to interrupt, you know. I was scared you didn't want me around. I don't know why but - it felt like I would have taken your choice away?'
The only word that makes sense to Frank is scared, so Frank puts a paw on Claudia's shoulder and rubs his head against Claudia's skin. Claudia doesn't need to be scared. She's part of his pack. They protect each other. Pack means safe.
'You are such a good pup for us, Frankie.'
Good pup Frank understands, too. He licks Claudia's elbow, making them giggle, and then he gently bites her arm because he wants to bite. Claudia lets him despite there being a rubber bone in reach that she could substitute for her arm.
'Gentle,' they remind.
Frank is. He's always gentle with them.
~~
Every single bone in Frank's body is screaming when he wakes up the next time, and he sits and howls as his bones pop back into place. Claudia sits next to him, a hand steady on his back as their form seemingly grows as Frank shrinks back into his smaller human body.
'You're okay,' Claudia says, 'you're okay, Frankie, I promise. Ray's already getting your heating pads warmed up, he'll be here in no time.'
Claudia, Frank thinks.
'Claudia,' he says, voice warped by the pain.
'I know,' she says. Her arms wrap around him. 'Deep breaths. Just a few minutes, I promise.'
Claudia, Frank thinks again. Pack, he thinks. Safe.
He knows his pack can't protect him from the transformation pain. He wishes it could but it can't.
'Come on,' Claudia says, reaching behind Frank. Their hand comes back into view with a rubber bone. 'You're clamping your jaw, it's gonna make the pain worse.'
Frank nods and accepts the bone when she brushes it against his lips.
~~
'See you around then?,' Frank asks.
His backpack is sitting on the ground where Claudia has put it. He hasn't slung it around his shoulders yet because after a moon, even a good one like this was, everything hurts too much to carry it any further than he has to.
Claudia nods and smiles.
'Next moon, Frankie. You call and we'll be there.'
Frank swallows and nods, too. Pack, he thinks. Moons are so much better with his pack.
'I'll talk to Jay and Tuck,' he says, because he isn't going to make any permanent lycanthropy related decisions without consulting with his wife and the person who's been taking the brunt of his transformations for years at this point.
'Promise me you'll call?'
And God, Frank's heart fucking melts. It isn't fair, not really, because she didn't call, not when he needed it most, but it doesn't matter right now. Because right now Frank has his pack back.
'Will do,' he says and bends down to pick up his backpack.