Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

CrimeFighters

3:24 a.m.

FeelsGood: How many apples do you think I could eat before the acid destroys my stomach?

SmartyPants: You’re a hazard to society

Thing1: at least 4

AnnoyingGirl: GUYS GO TO BED WE HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW

SmartyPants: Since when do you care about school, Piper?

Thing1: yeah i thought you hated it

FeelsGood: she only cares because there’s this new girl in her class~~

AnnoyingGirl: HENRY I SWEAR TO GOD

Thing1: Ohhhhhh~~ does piper have a crush~

SmartyPants: Guys quit teasing her and go to bed

FeelsGood: okay, mom

Thing1: youre no fun

FeelsGood is offline

Thing1 is offline

AnnoyingGirl: thanks charlotte

SmartyPants: ….what’s her name?

AnnoyingGirl is offline

SmartyPants: Eh, worth a shot

SmartyPants is offline

Gender?

3:35 a.m.

GenderSwap: How many apples do you think I could eat before the acid destroys my stomach?

GenderStealer: bro i have no idea wtf

CisBoy: Apples are low-acidic and have a pH of around 3.5, which is less than what a lemon has. Since your stomach already has stomach acid around the pH level of 1-3.5 a few apples isn’t going to do much. However, if you drink around 5 liters of apple cider with nothing else you might raise the pH level of your stomach acid which could ruin your stomach lining which is kinda like destroying your stomach.

GenderSteaker: wtf nerd

CisBoy: What!? He asked!

GenderSwap: All I got out of that is to drink 5 liters of apple cider so brb

GenderStealer: if you really wanna ruin your immune system just drink a cup of bleach

CisBoy: pls don’t it hurts

GenderSwap: …..

GenderStealer: …..

CisBoy: ..uhm…I can explain?

GenderSwap: YOUVE DRANK BLEACH

GenderStealer: WTF CHASE SINCE WHEN WERE YOU BADASS

CisBoy: ok rude

GenderSwap: ANSWER ME DAMMIT

CisBoy is offline

GenderStealer: NOOOOOOOO

GenderSwap: COME BACKKKKKK IM SORRRYYYY

Chapter Text

Crime Fighters

7:20 a.m.

OvergrownBaby: Kid wtf

FeelsGood: i was curious and since no one gave me an answer i went to ask my other friends who gave me an answer

Thing1: I HGAVE YOU AN ANSWER

FeelsGood: A WRONG ONE

AnnoyingGirl: since when do you have friends

FeelsGood: harhar

SmartyPants: No actually I agree with Piper. I thought Jasper and I were your only friends?

OvergrownBaby: HEY

SmartyPants: You’re not his friend you’re his father

FeelsGood: HE IS NOT

OvergrownBaby: I AM NOT

Thing2: but what am i?

AnnoyingGirl: uhhhhh….

Thing1: weird uncle?

Thing2: ohhhhhhh COOL

FeelsGood: ok first of all: Ray is NOT my dad

OvergrownBaby: correct

FeelsGood: second of all: yes i have other friends! they’re other superheroes[ish] around my age

AnnoyingGirl: there are other superheroes?

SmartyPants: yeah in different places

Thing1: henry and ray cant be everywhere

Thing2: we met some once i think they were the thundermans

SmartyPants: Yeah, they were

OvergrownBaby: Well one was a hero, her brother was working with the villains

AnnoyingGirl: ohhhh

FeelsGood: haha…yeahh

OvergrownBaby: you friends with that girl thunderman then? 

FeelsGood: uhmm…uh…I gotta…go water my fish

FeelsGood is offline

OvergrownBaby: why would he need to water a fish

SmartyPants: idk

Gender?

7:45  a.m.

GenderSwap: Max my team is slowly figuring out that i’m friends with you

GenderStealer: lol sucks to suck

CisBoy: Really, M?

GenderStealer: :)

GenderSwap: its okay they dont know that im friends with a villain in training yet

GenderStealer: dahdahdahdahdahdahdah “Villain”

GenderSwap: ….

GenderSwap: villain in training

CisBoy: lol

GenderStealer: stop being sexist

GenderSwap: really, using your power of genderfluidness to make me the bad guy

CisBoy: That’s not a word

GenderSwap: SHUT UP CISBOY

GenderStealer: SHUT UP CISBOY

CisBoy: Oh yeah, about that! I’ve figured out that I’m Agender so: SUCK IT

GenderStealer changed CisBoy's name to: No

No: Wow, so creative

GenderStealer: IM UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE OKAY

GenderSwap: yeah well im not

GenderSwap changed No’s name to: GenderStop

GenderStealer: ohhhh i actually really like that

GenderSwap: yeah i know, im awesome

GenderStealer: i didnt say that

GenderStop: Thanks, Henry, I like it!

GenderSwap: no problemo Chase…o

GenderStealer: wow so creative

GenderSwap: SHUSH

GenderStop: LOL

GenderSwap: OKAY THATS IT IM GONN-

GenderStop: uhm…Henry?

GenderStealer: you okay over there?????

GenderSwap: Toddler is running rampant i gotta go T_T

GenderStop: lol sucks to sucks

GenderStealer: L

GenderSwap is offline

GenderStealer: So…just you and me…

GenderStop: I literally have a boyfriend back off

GenderStealer: he doesnt need to know ;)

GenderStop: ….want me to send these to your boyfriend?

GenderStealer: uh…

GenderStealer is offline

GenderStop: lol

GenderStop is offline

Chapter Text

Gender?

9:32 a.m.

GenderSwap: dehy chnan anuyhone hjelp bme

GenderStealer: bro wtf

GenderStop: Yeah, even I can’t read that and I live with Adam.

GenderSwap: canh anhyuone hhgelp nme

GenderStealer: you getting anything from this Chase

GenderStop: uhm, I believe he said, ‘Can anyone help me’

GenderStealer: Ohhhh i see it now okayokay

GenderStealer: what you need help with

GenderSwap: bhlklood

GenderStealer: yeah i got nothin

GenderStop: He said, ‘blood’

GenderStop: Hen, are you injured from your fight with the Toddler?

GenderSwap: hyeasd

GenderStealer: ohohoh I know this!!!

GenderStealer: he said hyenas

GenderStop: ….

GenderStop: no

GenderStealer: oh that idk

GenderStop: he said, ‘yes’

GenderStealer: ohhhh that makes so much more sense

GenderSwap: pljheasde loihterally hbleading fouta rn

GenderStealer: oh so you can type rn correctly but nothing else

GenderStop: Why aren't you going to Captain Man for help? Or someone on your team?

GenderSwap: …

GenderStealer: they dont know youre injured do they

GenderSwap: …

GenderStop: omg you fucking idiot

GenderStop: FINE

GenderStop: I’ll get the transporter and come pick you up to take you to M’s base BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME

GenderSwap: 👍

GenderStealer: lol ill get the med place ready ig

GenderStealer is offline

GenderStop: Where are you right now Henry?

GenderSwap: Swellview

GenderStop: Why can you suddenly type perfectly?

GenderSwap: ji doihont knhiow

GenderStop: oookaayyy

GenderStop: Omw

GenderStop is offline

GenderSwap is offline