Chapter Text
Cooking with a two year old attached to him used to feel like an impossible task but now he was used to it. He could move almost effortlessly across the kitchen with Youko clinging to his calf. It used to bother him because he thought that she wanted something that he could give her so he tried to ply her with food or toys so he could cook in peace but in the end he decided that all she wanted was to be attached to him.
She had long outgrown the baby carrier that allowed him to wear her on his chest or back and he didn’t trust her to hold on to his back the whole time and not somehow end up in their breakfast so she sat on his foot he cooked and together they moved across the kitchen.
It was annoying. It was cute. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
His phone rang in his pocket while he tried to maneuver Youko over to a cabinet on the other side of their small kitchen. Kei didn’t need to look at it to know that it was Tadashi, he was the only person other than his brother who would bother to call him and Akiteru would never call so early in fear of waking Youko. Kei took his phone out of his pocket, pressed a few buttons and placed it on the counter with the speaker on.
“What?” he asked, now trying to make his way back to breakfast before it burned.
“Are you sitting down?” Tadashi asked by way of greeting.
Kei snorted, “Of course not.”
Tadashi hummed lightly, “You might want to consider it.”
“Just spit it out, I don’t have time for whatever you’re trying to say.”
He was quiet for another moment, “He’s coming home soon.” And when Kei didn’t answer right away he clarified, “Hinata.”
“I know who you meant,” he snapped. Kei bent down and picked up Youko. “Why are you telling me this? It has nothing to do with me.”
“Kei,” he sighed, “You can’t keep this from him. He’s going to find out. He still messages me asking about how you’re doing.”
He held Youko tighter. “It has nothing to do with him.”
“You know that’s not true,” Tadashi said kindly. “You just ghosted him because you didn’t want to face your feelings about the whole situation and now it’s come to bite you. He’s coming home soon, I’m going to pick him up from the airport, I know you’re not going to come with me but eventually we’re all going to get together and you’re going to come too. You don’t need to bring her, but you do need to come.”
“I’ll ghost you too,” he grumbled.
Tadashi laughed, “You won’t. No one else will put up with you.”
Youko squirmed in his arms and signed for food. Kei tried not to let her see him flinch. “Akiteru would.”
“You’d hate that,” he laughed again. “Think about it. We’re all getting together soon so you need to get yourself together too.”
“Whatever,” he mumbled, “our breakfast is burning so I’ll talk to you later.”
He hung up on Tadashi before he could say anything else that he didn’t want to hear.
Youko squealed loudly when Akiteru let himself into Kei’s small apartment. Kei wanted to be upset about his brother’s constant obtrusiveness but he couldn’t be upset about his daughter’s happiness over his surprise appearance.
Kei was still a bit less happy about his appearance. He told Akiteru about the doctor appointment Youko had coming up last time they spoke but he didn’t expect Akiteru to take the day off work to tag along with him. He really should have expected it. Akiteru had gone to enough appointments that once a well meaning nurse asked if they were her parents– which was absolutely gross. The nurse sputtered and apologized when Kei told her that they were siblings.
What burned the most though was that she thought that Akiteru was the father and he was the mother. He had to go off testosterone for the pregnancy and while he didn’t immediately transform back into a girl, pregnancy did have some unfortunate bodily side effects that even two years later and back on hormones he still wasn’t able to shake.
His hips were curvier and his breasts were larger and–
Akiteru karate chopped his head.
“You were spiraling.”
“I was not,” he glared. “What are you doing here?”
Akiteru grinned and picked up Youko, spinning her around once to her absolute glee. “It’s my darling niece’s appointment day so I’m here for support.” He held her on his hip and turned to Kei. “Do you know what the doctor is going to say?”
Kei scoffed. He wasn’t an idiot, he had done his research when Youko was hitting all of her milestones but not talking at all. It wasn’t unusual for children to begin talking later in life, some children didn’t have anything to say until they were ready to spout full sentences. He knew that and he knew that’s what the doctor was going to tell them.
He also knew it could be any number of other things which is why he had taught her baby sign language so she would have some way to communicate. If she never started talking it would be a good base for teaching her real sign language. Besides, he liked seeing her sign ‘dad’ at him over and over again whenever she was happy to see him.
“He’s going to say don’t worry yet because she’s doing well everywhere else.” Kei put his hand on Youko’s head and frowned. She signed ‘play’ and looked up at him hopefully. “I know she’s doing well developmentally but I don’t want her to fall behind.”
Akiteru smiled warmly at him, “You’re doing great. Now let’s take my favorite girl out.”
It only took one keystroke for his computer to auto-complete ‘Hinata Shoyou’ but it took another two minutes and a loud internal debate before he hit enter. He knew that Hinata was back in the country thanks to Tadashi’s completely unhelpful and unwanted updates but he didn’t know what he was up to.
Searching Hinata’s name online was a late night vice. When he couldn’t sleep or when Youko was keeping him up he looked up Hinata’s name and caught up with his adventures abroad. Kei had seen most of Hinata’s televised beach volleyball tournaments, knew all about the ‘Ninja Shoyou’ nickname he had earned himself. He even found some Portuguese websites and ran them through translating websites so he could catch up with what the locals thought of him.
He ghosted Hinata– true– let him leave and never spoke to him again, but Kei wasn’t as informed about any of his old classmates or friend’s lives as he was Hinata’s.
It didn’t mean anything. At least he tried to tell himself that.
He also tried to keep his habits away from Youko but late at night she had caught a glimpse of someone with bright orange hair just like her and she was just as enamored with the person on the screen as he was. Kei didn’t blame her.
Hinata didn’t waste any time making waves in Japan. He was already on a professional team and his smile was so wide on their official website. Kei’s chest tightened as he looked at the picture, it was overwhelming. In another timeline, in another life, he would have been so proud of him for his accomplishment– and he was, he really was– but Hinata had no idea what was really happening.
Not that it was his fault.
A small flashing announcement banner caught his eye.
Hinata’s debut game was going to be in a few weeks, right there in Sendai. A few weeks, a few blocks. A few years.
It was late but he opened his phone and found Akiteru’s contact.
> Can you watch Youko in a few weeks?
< You know it. Just give me the date and time.
Kei didn’t even have to buy a ticket because in the end Tadashi pulled a ‘please don’t be mad but I did a thing and you have to live with it’, but it worked out because Kei got to go to the game, pretend he was annoyed about it, and kept the high ground.
The stadium was packed with people and it felt like everywhere he looked he could spot someone he knew in the crowd. It made sense, the match was full of people he had played with or against in high school and it was somewhat local to all of them, any of their teammates who could make it were sure to turn up for support. Kei slouched in his seat just a little bit, he didn’t want to be spotted and dragged into a ‘how have you been, what have you been up to’ conversation and he knew his blond hair stood out against the sea of dark hair.
“He’s not going to see you,” Tadashi said, “he has a game to focus on.”
Kei scoffed but the sound was easily lost in the noise of the stadium, “It’s not only him I’m worried about.”
Tadashi nodded, “There are a lot of familiar faces around.”
“Sorry I’m late!” Hitoka stumbled her way into their row and took her seat on the other side of Tadashi, “I told my boss I was taking the day off and he still called me to try and get some last minute things done and I couldn’t tell him no because I didn’t want to get fired so I needed to go in and finish some edits and it took longer than I thought it would but I made it before the match started.”
Tadashi patted her back comfortingly and Kei was continually amazed at her ability to say the longest sentences in only one breath.
She smiled up at them, “Hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”
“Of course not,” Kei said, “It’s good to see you.”
“I haven’t seen you without Youko in so long, where is she today?”
“With my brother.” Kei touched the pocket of his coat to double check his phone was there. Akiteru would call him if there was a problem but he was still nervous. “They’re spending the day together.”
“I’m sure they both love that,” Hitoka laughed.
Kei smiled to himself, “They do.”
Tadashi waved a hand between them, “Look, it looks like they’re getting ready to start!”
Watching Hinata play in person was nothing like watching him play on a screen from across the world. He could see every physical change from up close, see the power he had and the skills he mastered. It was amazing.
He hardly looked like the boy he dated so long ago.
It was breathtaking watching him play but Kei also found himself feeling bitter. He never had plans to play professionally, he didn’t think the league would let him, but getting pregnant and having a baby meant his own future was slowed down. His studies were slower, the jobs he could take were fewer, his options a bit more limited.
It wasn’t Youko’s fault. It wasn’t even Hinata’s fault. What he was doing was amazing but Kei felt safer holding on to that little piece of jealousy.
Kei noticed the exact second Hinata spotted him.
Hinata was walking towards their group ready to go out to a post game meal to celebrate his victory, they briefly locked eyes and he tripped over his own feet. He easily laughed it off and let someone help him up but when he looked back at the group it was with a wariness he had never seen before. It was probably warranted.
It was always the plan for the five of them to get together after the game but maybe Hinata assumed that Kei wouldn’t show up considering he spent the past few years pretending he didn’t exist. It was a fair assumption, just a wrong one.
“Hey guys!” Hinata smiled at everyone but Kei, another warranted reaction.
Kageyama scowled, “Don’t get used to it, next time I’m going to win.”
“I look forward to it.”
Kei sighed, “You two never change.”
Hinata stiffened. If he thought that the two of them were going to ignore each other all night then Kei shattered that illusion too. He slowly turned and looked at Kei.
From up close Kei could see that Hinata had grown taller in addition to being more muscular. It was a good look for him, he looked proportional. The tan was something new for him, it had faded after a few weeks back in Japan and out of the Rio beach sun but it still lingered. He was unfairly attractive.
“Kei,” he said.
He waited for him to say more but after a few beats of tense silence it didn’t seem like more was coming.
“Hello,” he responded.
Hinata nodded once, “Hi.”
“Okay,” Tadashi clapped once to get everyone’s attention, “Let’s go to the restaurant.”
He was captain for a reason.
The walk to the restaurant was tense but Tadashi and Hitoka did their best to distract everyone from the tension to mixed success. Kageyama seemed unbothered by the heavy atmosphere and after Hinata realized that Kei wasn’t going to talk to him one-on-one but would acknowledge his existence, things seemed to calm down.
Kei still purposefully sat as far away as he could from Hinata when they were seated. He didn’t want Hinata to take a lull in the conversation as an excuse to lean over to him and try to talk to him, at least with the distance there was no private way to start the discussion. And once the meal was over they could go back to pretending the other didn’t exist, or Hinata could do whatever he was doing in regards to Kei, he didn’t care.
His phone vibrated in his pocket not long after they ordered more than enough food for five people. While the others were distracted with catching up he discreetly checked it under the table.
< She’s been crying and asking for you for a while, I’ve tried all the usual things but I’m not sure what else to do.
> You probably wore her out and she’s overtired. If you keep bouncing with her she’ll fall asleep.
< Okay.
He looked back up and Hinata and Kageyama were arguing/bantering about the match, Tadashi was looking on with a fond, nostalgic smile, and Hitoka was trying unsuccessfully to get them to quiet down because they were in public. Kei made a soft noise and accidentally caught all of their attention.
“What?” Kageyama said, “You got something to say? Where have you even been the last three years?”
Hinata kept his mouth shut but it was obvious that he was interested in the answer as well.
“Oh, are you interested in the peons now, your majesty?” he said, simply trying to get under his skin, “I’ve been at college getting a degree, something you’d know nothing about.”
Kageyama frowned, “Why’d you stop playing?”
Kei squeezed his phone in both hands and shot Tadashi and Hitoka a look before they could try to jump to his defense. “Why do you think they would let me play?” It was an easier thing to ask than reveal his secret. In reality he never had the chance to ask about college volleyball let alone try out so he didn’t know if they would have let him join the men's team.
“What does that mean?”
Tadashi placed a hand on Kageyama’s arm, “He means that he needed special permission to play on our team and college may not have let him.”
“Professional absolutely not,” he added, swirling his glass of water around trying to sound as bored as possible even though the thought hurt him.
“Oh,” he said eventually, “Because of your thing.”
Kei laughed bitterly, “Yes, my thing.” He spared a glance at Hinata who looked sorry for him. It wasn’t pity, it was more he thought everyone should be able to play volleyball and he was sorry that Kei couldn’t continue as he wanted. He looked away before they could make eye contact.
“What do you study?” Hinata asked. It was the first question he had asked him all night, their first real communication.
He debated not answering but Hinata’s face was so open. “Anthropology with a focus in archeology and history.”
His face softened into a smile, “I’m happy for you, that's what you wanted.”
Before he could answer a familiar cry pierced through the restaurant.
He immediately zeroed in on Akiteru holding Youko.
Unfortunately, so did Hinata.
He heard the conversation going on next to him.
–“Kei,” Hinata said, almost warningly.
“Shoyou,” Kei didn’t have to be looking to know that Tadashi had put a hand on Hinata’s shoulder, “please.”
“You knew about this?”--
But he was too concerned about his crying daughter who was repeatedly signing ‘dad’, over and over. Akiteru looked sorry for interrupting his time out but Kei had already risen to meet him. If Youko was in distress enough that Akiteru didn’t think he could sooth her, then he needed to be there to help her. It was his job as a parent after all.
“I’m sorry,” Akiteru said, struggling to keep hold of Youko who was trying her best to launch herself into Kei’s arms now that they were within reach, “She’s been inconsolable for a really long time. I didn’t know what else to do.”
Kei reached out and took her; she immediately folded herself into his chest and her loud cries turned into soft whimpers as Kei rubbed her back soothingly. “It’s fine,” he told his brother, “You did the right thing.”
“Kei.” Hinata said again. There was less shock in his voice than Kei had imagined there would be. He had never really heard Hinata use a ‘what the hell is this, tell me right now’ type of voice before. It didn’t suit him very well. And Kei didn’t know what to make from his lack of shock, or maybe it would come later.
He turned back to the table, “I need to cut our dinner short and take her home. I’ll see you next time.”
He tried to get away but he knew it wouldn’t be that simple. Hinata stood up and thudded his hands on the table.
“You’re not walking away from me.”
Kei gave him a withering look, as harsh as he could with a whimpering child in his arms, but Hinata didn’t back down so he relented. “Fine,” he said, “Walk with me.”
Hinata threw money down on the table and Kei started to shift Youko so he could get his wallet but Tadashi stopped him and said that he would cover for him. Kei was grateful for his best friend.
It was going to be a hard night.