Chapter Text
Kei hated that he had to wait to get permission to join the volleyball team.
On the first day of class he had found the volleyball club’s academic advisor, explained his situation and patiently asked if he would be allowed to join the team. Takeda-sensei seemed frazzled at the question. Kei didn’t really blame him, this was most likely the first time a student had ever asked anything like that of him.
But Takeda-sensei straightened his glasses and told Kei to give him a few days and he would see what he could do.
It took a week. A week of telling his best friend to go on ahead without him, a week of looking longingly at the gym and silently wishing he could join in.
At the end of the week Takeda-sensei pulled him aside after class and told him that he was allowed to play, he had to make a lot of phone calls but he fought for Kei and he would be allowed on the team and be able to participate in tournaments.
Takeda-sensei smiled warmly at him, “I won’t make you disclose anything, you should do what you’re comfortable with, but I do think you should consider telling the captain, just so he knows to keep an eye out.”
Kei folded his hands politely in front of himself and nodded. He’d rather as few people as possible know. But if he could keep it between the coach, faculty advisor, captain, and his best friend, then things shouldn’t be too bad. He clenched his fists and tried to convince himself that things actually wouldn’t be that bad.
Takeda-sensei walked him to the gym and Kei hated how all of the attention in the room was immediately turned to them. One of the players, Kei assumed he was the captain, called a halt to the practice and they gathered around Takeda-sensei to hear what he had to say.
When they were all gathered Kei noticed, with a small amount of pride, that he was the tallest person in the room.
“I have a new member for you,” Takeda-sensei said to the small group, “I’ll leave you for introductions.”
“He’s so tall!” A bald kid said loudly as he took a quick step towards Kei.
Kei instinctually took a step back, he didn’t want to be touched, “Tsukishima Kei,” he said quietly, bowing his head slightly, “Nice to meet you.”
The one he correctly guessed was the captain introduced everyone (Yamaguchi waved when he was introduced and they explained that they were already friends), but then the captain-- Daichi, he said to call him-- asked if he had any prior volleyball experience.
Kei unconsciously made a face, he did have the experience but he didn’t want to explain it.
Luckily Yamaguchi spoke up, “Tsukki and I played on the same team in middle school,” he lied smoothly, “He was middle blocker.” At least that part was true.
Daichi looked at him again, like he finally saw how tall he was, “Well, let’s see what you got,” he put a hand on Kei’s back making him tense immediately but Daichi didn’t seem to notice, “Over their is our club room, you can get changed in there.”
He nodded.
Kei didn’t go to the club room to get changed. He walked back into the school and into the nearest bathroom. After making sure it was empty he made his way into a stall and locked the door.
Kei rested his forehead against the door. He couldn’t do this. There was no way he would be able to be part of the volleyball team as he was. They would find out and kick him off the team. It didn’t matter that the team was tiny and he was the tallest person there, they would be disgusted by him and make him leave.
He slowly took off his uniform. Methodically undoing each button until he could shrug the shirt off his shoulders.
He looked down at his bound chest.
There was no way he could change in the club room with everyone else.
There was no way he could do this.
Kei made it to practice and tried to pretend like he didn’t stand out. Everyone in the gym wore the same white shirt they wore during gym class except for him with his purple shirt with small moon insignia on the chest. The standard white shirt was too thin and he knew that if he wore it, let alone if he did any amount of sweating in it, his binder would be revealed. And he didn’t want to have that conversation.
Luckily no one asked him why he didn’t dress in his gym clothes and he didn’t have to explain that he didn’t actually have a set because he had been excused from the class. The school didn’t want to deal with his particular problem and he was perfectly content to not announce anything about himself to the entire school.
Everyone’s attention was also drawn by two other first years who did nothing but bicker with each other. It made fading into the background easier.
Yamaguchi stuck by his side and Kei knew that if it came down to it his friend would try and fight everyone in this gym to protect him. It wouldn’t go well for them, but he’d try.
“Thanks,” he said quietly to Yamaguchi.
He did a double take like he wasn’t sure if Kei had just spoken to him, “Sure?” he said, confused.
Kei didn’t offer any insight but he was thankful that Yamaguchi had lied on his behalf. Kei had, in fact, played volleyball in middle school, but back then he wasn’t allowed to play on the boys’ team so they weren’t actually teammates. If anyone cared they could probably find out that no one named Tsukishima Kei played on their middle school team, but he doubted anyone would go searching.
After practice Kei approached Daichi and stood silently by and waited while he finished up his conversation with Suga. He laced his hands neatly in front of him and tried not to fidget when the two upperclassmen noticed him waiting, but it took only a minute more for Daichi to dismiss Suga.
“Tsukishima, is there anything I can do for you?”
“Daichi-san,” he said politely, “May I speak to you in private?”
Kei tended to become extra polite when he was uncomfortable and Daichi seemed to pick up on how tense he was because he immediately led Kei outside and behind the gym.
“No one should interrupt us here,” he said seriously.
Kei squeezed his hands into fists, “Has Takeda-sensei spoken to you about me? My,” he paused for a second, “medical issue that required I get permission to join the team?”
Daichi frowned lightly and Kei could tell that he was trying to figure out if he was sick, “No, he hasn’t.”
“You should ask him for my student file. I’ll give him permission to show it to you,” Kei said dismissively, backing down at the last second to tell him himself.
He tried to leave but Daichi grabbed his arm to stop him. Kei froze, unable to move.
“Sorry,” Daichi said quickly, “I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to ask if you’re sure you don’t want to tell me yourself.”
It took Kei a few more beats to get his breathing under control before he wiped imaginary dirt from his arms, “I don’t like being touched,” he said, shakier than he wanted, “My file will be more than satisfactory. Thank you for your time, Captain.” He bowed his head lightly and finally made his exit.
He was a few paces away when Daichi called his name again, “Tsukishima, the club room is that way.”
Kei raised one of his hands to wave away his concerns, “I live close by, I’ll change and shower there.”
Student file--
Name: Tsukishima Hotaru
Preferred Name: Tsukishima Kei
Sex: F
Class: 1-4
Photo: [Photo of middle school Kei with round glasses, softer facial features, and blond, chin-length curls]
Kei arrived to practice the next morning already dressed in his workout clothes so he could once again avoid the club room. He planned on excusing himself to the bathroom when practice was over and changing in the stall. At worst they would probably think that he was shy, and he could deal with that.
Before practice started Daichi quietly pulled him aside.
“I saw your student file,” he said, a bit awkwardly.
Kei stared at him. Even if the high school league and the faculty advisor let him on the team, if the captain didn’t want him there then he would be forced to quit. So he stayed quiet and waited to hear if Daichi was going to kick him off the team for something he couldn’t control.
Daichi noticed that he was awaiting sentencing, “You’re fine!” he said a touch too loudly. He was obviously nervous but Kei figured it was unlikely he had dealt with a teammate like him before, “We’re happy to have you on the team, really. Does anyone else know?”
Kei tsked lightly. That was a vague question. He obviously didn’t need to go through who in his family did or did not know about him, “You, Takeda-sensei, and Yamaguchi,” he decided on. His homeroom teacher knew as well, but that information probably wasn’t relevant.
“You went to middle school together,” Daichi said mostly to himself.
“I,” Kei spoke up but then immediately regretted it. But Daichi was being kind to him and for some reason he felt like he needed to fess up, “I didn’t play boys’ volleyball in middle school,” he said quietly, “So please allow me a bit of time to adjust to the height of the net.”
Daichi laughed and went to slap Kei on the back but stopped himself, remembering at the last second that he didn’t like being touched, “You’re already taller than all of us, I think you’ll be fine.”
There were a lot of big personalities in the Karasuno volleyball club. Kei found them annoying, but at the same time they were oddly relaxing. Because he was never going to be the center of attention he found it easy to let his own personality out a bit instead of hiding in the background.
And that often meant taunting the likes of Kageyama, Hinata, and Tanaka.
He knew that they thought he was mean, that his sarcastic comments had too much bite behind them, but riling them up brought him a small thrill. It was a weird and terrible combination of playing with fire and building camaraderie.
Yamaguchi brought it up one day, “You look like you’re having fun with them.”
Kei glanced down at his friend, “Not really,” he denied.
“You wanna know what I think?” Yamaguchi asked
“Not really”
He continued on like Kei didn’t just say he didn’t care, “I think you’re happy to be on the team but you don’t want to be close to them just in case.”
Kei shrugged.
“They seem like good people,” his friend said carefully.
“They seem like idiots,” Kei shot back.
Yamaguchi laughed, “They are, aren’t they.”
“Argh, Tsukishima!” Hinata yelled, “Why do you have to be so mean!”
“I don’t know,” he said casually, “Why do you have to be so short? Just born that way, I guess.”
Hinata jumped and tried to grab the ball that Kei was holding but Kei pulled it away last second. He tried to hold back a grin. This childish game of keepaway shouldn’t be so amusing but Hinata got more and more irritated the more Kei taunted him and he couldn’t help but egg him on.
“Just give me the ball, Tsukishima,” he whined.
There was a cart full of volleyballs just a few steps away from them and if this were any other day maybe he would have pointed it out, but he was actually having fun taunting his short counterpart.
“Can’t you reach?” he said haughtily, “I thought you were the best at jumping.”
Hinata dove for him and Kei artfully side stepped him.
“You’ll have to do better than that,” he taunted.
Hinata lowered his eyes and got the super serious look he usually reserved for the middle of games. It made Kei pause, like Hinata would be able to see right through him, but he quickly shook off the thought, Hinata was too stupid to notice anything unusual about him.
He jumped again and Kei raised the ball above his head. Hinata missed but immediately went to tackle him and Kei wasn’t expecting him to attack again so soon. Fortunately Kei had rather good reflexes when it came to not wanting to be touched, unfortunately Hinata was much faster than he was.
Hinata managed to grab on to Kei’s bicep and the action startled both of them enough that the momentum toppled them to the floor.
The ball bounced away.
“You idiot!” Kei scolded him, “You could have hurt one of us!”
Hinata looked away defiantly, “You should have given me the ball.”
They looked over to where the ball had rolled, right next to the cart full of spare volleyballs.
“Will you do blocking practice with me?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Tsukishima!” Hinata called out, “Are you coming with us?”
Kei turned around and saw the three other first years. Yamaguchi gave him a small smile as if to apologize for their loud teammate’s antics.
“No,” he said without asking where they were going.
“Aw, c’mon, Daichi is gonna buy us all meat buns! Even a jerk like you has to like meat buns.”
Kei could feel his stomach growling but none of them had changed yet and he couldn’t agree to go with them and then split up to change by himself without explaining himself and telling them the truth was out of the question.
Hinata grinned at him like Kei’s inner turmoil was giving him some amount of joy, “Go wherever you go to get changed and meet us by the gate.”
“What?” he asked, stunned.
“You never change with us,” Hinata tilted his head slightly, “So I figured you’d want to before we went.”
Kei scoffed, “Who would want to get changed with a bunch of disgustingly smelly boys anyway?
Hinata glared at him while Yamaguchi chuckled beside him, “I don’t smell.”
“Haven’t you heard of deodorant?” Kei pretended to hold his nose, “You may look like a grade schooler but you stink like something died.”
“Argh!” Hinata threw his hands up in the air, “C’mon Kageyama, let’s get changed.”
As they walked away Kei watched as Hinata tried to discreetly smell his armpits. He couldn’t hold back his smile at how absurd the action was.
“You’re having fun,” Yamaguchi commented.
He glared at his friend, “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”
He smiled back, “Sorry, Tsukki.”
After he got changed in the bathroom by himself he rejoined his team for a walk to the shop for a post-practice meal.
He lagged behind everyone, walking by himself after telling Yamaguchi that he should go join the others so he could spend the sparse few minutes preparing.
Team bonding wasn’t really something that he was used to, and bonding through food was something he was even less used to. The thought of it made him uncomfortable. His stomach hurt with a combination of hunger and anxiety.
It would be fine, he told himself, it was just a meat but. And chances are no one would be looking at him.
When he got to the shop he loitered outside with the others as Daichi and Suga went inside to fetch their food. The others were as boisterous as always but that didn’t help quell the anxiety bubbling inside of him.
Daichi passed around a bag full of meat buns and Kei was the last one to take one. He quietly mumbled a thank you as he held the warm treat in his hands.
He liked meat buns, he did, but his mother had taught him that it was unladylike to enjoy food in front of others. Even back then when he was still trying to play pretend he thought it was a dumb rule. But now, when he was decidedly not a lady, he didn’t know why that lesson still had such a hold on him.
Eating in front of others shouldn’t have been such a challenge, but it was. He often found himself unable to finish lunch unless he was eating by himself.
By the time he managed his first bite most people were already done.
“You eat slow,” Kageyama commented.
Kei scoffed, “Some of us savor our food instead of stuffing our faces,” he took another bite even though he was being watched and he hoped his face didn’t look as red as it felt.
The good thing about losing the Aoba Johsai during the Inter-High tournament was that when he ran off to the bathroom afterwards everyone assumed he was going to cry in private.
Kei didn’t check to make sure that the bathroom was empty before he ran into a stall. It would be a useless endeavor anyway, the stadium was too full of people for him to find an empty bathroom to strip down in. So he had to assume that everyone would respect the privacy of the stall.
Once he was inside he took off his sweaty jersey in one swift movement and tried to do the same with his binder but it wasn’t as cooperative. His chest and ribs ached and he needed to take it off so he could breathe again but the stupid piece of fabric was so soaked with sweat that it stuck to his skin even more.
He tried to take a deep breath to calm himself but it only reminded him of how much he couldn’t breathe right now.
Slowly, carefully, he rolled the wet fabric up until his chest was freed and then up some more so he could take it off completely. It wasn’t made for the level of activity he just participated in.
Kei sat on the toilet and put his head between his knees, taking deep breaths to fill his unrestricted lungs for the first time in way too long. He clutched his jersey to his chest and tried to ignore how tender his breasts felt. He hated them so much.
He must have been away for too long because Yamaguchi came looking for him.
“Tsukki?” He called into the bathroom, “You in here?”
He considered ignoring his friend but he let out a small sigh and said, “Yeah.”
Yamaguchi leaned against the stall door, quiet permission for him to remain inside, “Are you okay?”
Kei was quiet for a long moment, “I couldn’t breathe,” he said finally. Yamaguchi hummed, Kei had explained binders to him when he first started wearing them, “Can you bring me my jacket?”
As soon as he asked, the jacket landed on his head, “I have your bag too,” he slid it under the door, “Do you need anything else?”
“No,” he shook his head even though Yamaguchi couldn’t see, “Thank you.”
Kei shoved his binder into his bag, put his jersey back on, and zipped his jacket up on top of that. He still felt exposed but it would have to do until he got home and could shower and change.
At least they were going straight home.
They didn’t actually go straight home. Kei didn’t know what was more uncomfortable, being with everyone without his binder, eating such a large meal in front of them, or seeing them all cry into their food.
Home couldn’t come fast enough.
Kei’s feet hit the floor after a successful block when he felt a familiar feeling between his legs. He made a disgusted face and vaguely heard Hinata yelling at him for looking so sour after he blocked one of his spikes. He walked away without really listening.
Hinata and Kageyama sputtered at his audacity, they thought he was being rude for walking off the court in the middle of practice, but in reality he needed to talk to Daichi right now.
He hovered by the side where Daichi was waiting to receive Asahi’s serve. He could wait another few moments but he really needed permission to be excused.
Suga saw him on the sidelines and joined him in watching, “Do you need something, Tsukishima?” he asked casually.
“I need to talk to Daichi-san,” Kei replied politely.
“Is it something I can help with?” he smiled warmly at Kei.
He liked Suga, he did, he was equally calm and chaotic and he also touched Kei once before realizing that it wasn’t something he enjoyed, and so even though Suga was often physical with the others he left Kei out of it. (Or ruffled his hair, which he discovered didn’t cause him to tense up and panic when Nishinoya did it.)
Kei shook his head, “I’m sorry, Suga-san, I really need to talk to Daichi.”
Daichi cleanly received Asahi’s serve and noticed the two of them on the sideline. He expertly dismissed Suga without raising any suspicion and pulled Kei aside so they could talk without being overheard.
Kei folded his hands neatly in front of him, “I need to be excused.”
“We’re in the middle of practice,” Daichi frowned at him.
Kei really didn’t want to spell it out, “Daichi-san” he said seriously, “I need to be excused,” and he let his gaze fall to Shimizu, the only other person in the room who would experience the same kind of problem he was currently having.
Daichi followed his gaze and squinted for a second but then a look of horror crossed his face, “Oh! Do you. Do you need help?” he asked awkwardly.
Kei crinkled his nose in disgust, “Absolutely not. I know what to do. This was just unexpected. I will try to be better prepared in the future. Thank you, Captain.”
Kei had never been so glad to walk away from a conversation.
For some reason Kei allowed the idiot duo over to his house to study. Yamaguchi thought it would be a good team bonding exercise but Kei thought if he didn’t kill them then he deserved a reward.
He hoped that when they all arrived at his house that no one would be there but he wasn’t so lucky. They entered and he called out that he was home while the others said their greetings and his mother appeared from around the corner.
“Hotaru, you’re back,” she said, “can you-- Oh, you have friends over.”
Kei glared at her. They had gone over the name thing multiple times before and he honestly didn’t know if she was calling him that on purpose or if she was slipping up.
She rolled her eyes at him, “Okay, Kei,” she said, stressing his name. His actual name.
Hinata snickered behind him, “Hotaru is a cute nickname. It means firefly, right?”
Kei turned and glared at him too, “Don’t call me that,” he said harshly.
He looked surprised at Kei’s angry tone but nodded nervously.
“We’ll be studying in my room,” Kei said to his mother.
He led the three of them down the hall towards his room but forgot that hanging on the wall was a family portrait that his mother refused to take down. Kei hated the picture so much and avoided looking at it to the point where he had forgotten that it was in a place where others could see.
“You have siblings?” Kageyama asked.
Kei turned around to look at him, confused at what could have given him that idea. When he saw the picture his heart sank. The picture was of him, Akiteru, and their mother, but it was many years old and Kei had shoulder length curls. He didn’t look anything like that person except for the frown which he was sure was going to give him away. It was the frown of someone who knew something was wrong with them. Kei felt sorry for her, she had a few more years to go.
He made eye contact with Yamaguchi, silently asking him how he could get out of this situation, but luckily drastic measures weren’t needed.
Hinata stepped forward to look at the picture, “How come you’re not in the photo?”
“I was sick that day,” he croaked out.
Hinata squinted at the photo and looked at Kei. He hummed like he was thinking of something and finally settled on, “You look more like your brother than your sister,” he grinned up at Kei, “My little sister looks just like me though.”
Kei tried to ignore the squeeze in his chest. To choke down the gender euphoria of being told he looked like Akiteru. (Something he could obviously never tell his brother.)
“Your poor sister,” he managed to say.
Studying wasn’t too bad.
Before their weekend training camp was announced to the team, Takeda-sensei pulled Kei out of class and into a room with Daichi to talk about accommodations. They fell over themselves to say that he was absolutely welcome to go, which was nice of them, he guessed, but they wanted him to be comfortable.
And part of being comfortable meant not arising suspicion.
In the end they decided that Kei would sleep in the same room as everyone else as him not doing so would probably make the others ask questions. He already didn’t change in front of them so they wouldn’t think twice if he disappeared.
The bigger discussion was around bathing. He couldn’t go the whole weekend without taking a bath, it would be disgusting. Daichi had shyly offered that Kei could bathe with Shimizu if he didn’t mind telling her but Kei didn’t want that.
The other option was that he bathed by himself after everyone was done. The first years always bathed last and Daichi could always hold him up until the others were done and he had the bath to himself. No matter what he ran the risk of being caught, but he’d rather take his bath by himself in the men’s bath than with Shimizu in the women’s bath.
Talking about the camp was worse than the camp itself.
No one asked why Daichi had to talk to him whenever it was time for the first years to go in the bath and no one bothered him once he was inside, which was good because he took longer than he usually did due to the fact it was the only time he wasn’t wearing a binder throughout the entire camp.
When he got back home his chest and ribs were sore, but he was happy that he got to be included.
Kei blocked Ushijima’s spike and he literally screamed with pride. It was the loudest the team had ever heard him, the only time they had ever seen him celebrate. But he didn’t care because he had done what so few were able to do.
When he stood back up he looked across the net proudly and thought, ‘Ha, you were blocked by a girl.”
And his stomach dropped.
Because it had been years since he had thought of himself as such. Even before he started doing anything about it he had almost completely stopped thinking of himself like that. So why did that thought come now? Why did it have to come in the middle of the court when everyone was looking at him and scrutinizing him.
He tried to calm himself. Everything was fine. Everyone here looked at him and saw a boy.
Getting hurt a few rally’s later was almost a blessing. He needed to leave the court and clear his head so he could come back stronger.
Shimizu led him to the medic and Akiteru, who he had told not to come to the game, met them there and for once he was happy that his brother never listened to him.
“That’s my brother,” he said to Shimizu, “Can I see him?”
Kei nodded at her and she let him pass.
Akiteru sat down next to him as the doctor looked over his hand, “Kei, are you okay?”
He bit his lower lip to keep from crying, but at least everyone in the room would think it was because of the pain in his hand and not because he somehow misgendered himself when even his airheaded brother could keep everything straight.
Kei was grateful for Akiteru, not that he would ever admit it outloud, but Aki was the first person he came out to and he’s been his biggest cheerleader ever since. It was Aki who first gave him clothes, then bought him his own clothes, and eventually got him his binders. It was even Aki who suggested the name Kei .
He shifted slightly so he could lean on his brother.
“Are you okay?” he asked again.
“I told you not to come here,” he grumbled.
Akiteru grinned, “And miss my little brother beat Shiratorizawa and win a spot at Nationals? Never.”
Aki always unconsciously reaffirmed him again and again. He had almost seamlessly slipped from calling him baby sister to little brother and Kei couldn’t express how much it meant to him at that moment.
Instead he scoffed, “I’m ready to go back now.”
Kei didn’t like training alongside Nekoma. Too many of their players had sharp eyes and watched him and it made him uncomfortable. In reality it was only Kuroo and Kenma, but that was enough to set him on edge.
Kenma watched the entire court so there was no reason to think that he was looking at him in particular, until he felt eyes on him during a water break and found Kenma looking his way with an analytical gaze. Kei glanced down at himself to make sure there wasn’t something obvious he was forgetting.
After a full day of training Kuroo managed to corral him into extra blocking practice and even though he was getting tips from a higher skilled player, he couldn’t help but feel like Kuroo was studying him.
It took an hour for Kei to snap at him, “Do you want something?”
Kuroo grinned lazily at him and Kei hated that stupid expression, “I think you and my dear friend Kenma have something in common.”
“We have to put up with you?” he shot back, full of venom. He didn’t want to talk about this with him or anyone else for that matter.
“Kuroo,” Akaashi spoke up from across the room, “leave him alone.”
Kei met Akaashi’s calm gaze and he wondered if he knew as well.
“I need to leave.”
He ran and didn’t look back.
Daichi held him back while the others took their baths and he spent the time silently panicking. None of them had explicitly called him out for being different, all they did was look at him or imply. He could brush it off as nothing. There was no reason for him to confirm anything. As far as he was concerned the least amount of people who knew the better.
Kei was grateful when it was his turn to bathe. The hot water soothed his sore muscles and he idly told himself that he shouldn’t get too comfortable or else he’ll fall asleep. Regardless of what he told himself, he tilted his head back and rested against the tile. Closing his eyes for a second wouldn’t hurt.
Maybe it was a second or maybe it was ten minutes, he wasn’t sure, but either way he was woken but a small gasp and Hinata saying, “You have breasts.”
Kei opened his eyes and saw a blurry orange blob standing across the room. He fumbled for his glasses and put them on as he slid down in the bath to hide his chest, “No, I don’t,” he denied childishly.
Hinata squawked at him, “You’re the blind one, not me! I know what I saw.”
“Keep it down,” Kei hissed, “what are you even doing here?”
“Oh, I forgot my,” he started to look around but then whipped back around to look at Kei, “don’t change the subject.”
Kei clicked his tongue, there was no way to get out of this, “Can you keep a secret, Shrimp?” he asked nervously. Hinata looked as if he was going to protest the nickname but then he saw how out of sorts his teammate was so he nodded, “I have breasts,” Kei bit out.
Hinata snorted, “Obviously. Why haven’t I noticed before?”
“Do you spend a lot of time checking me out?” Kei smirked.
“No!” he said hotly, “Stupid-shima.”
The familiar banter was comforting, “I wasn’t born a boy,” Kei said softly.
Hinata looked thoughtful for a second, “You’re transgender.”
“I hate that word,” Kei said automatically, “I’m not… I’m not anything. I’m just me.”
He nodded, “That’s fine. It would be weird if you were someone else,” Hinata did a double take, “This is why you don’t change with us!”
“Obviously,” he rolled his eyes, “Now can you leave so I can get out?”
Hinata blushed a bright red and Kei grit his teeth. Hinata had probably seen all of their other teammates in various stages of undress and didn’t find them embarrassing but because Kei’s body was wrong he was blushing like an idiot.
Kei stood up before Hinata could turn around, exposing himself fully and pretending he wasn’t ashamed.
Hinata’s blush extended down his neck, “What the heck, Tsukishima? What did you do that for?” He covered his eyes and turned around.
“You’ve never seen a naked body before?” Kei scoffed.
“Don’t make fun of me.”
They were quiet as Kei wrapped a towel around himself and dried himself off. Kei wondered what Hinata was thinking about. Wondered if he realized that was Kei in the picture he saw at Kei’s house or that Hotaru wasn’t a cute nickname his mother called him but a cruel reminder of the past.
Kei cleared his throat, “This doesn’t bother you?”
Hinata looked over his shoulder, “Why would it? You’re the same Meanie-shima, you’re still really good at blocking. It doesn’t matter to me what your body is like. I’m small and I’m still here.”
Kei looked at his hands, “Please don’t tell anyone.”
“Guh, and admit I saw you naked?”
The stadium where Nationals was held was kind of amazing. Kei had to take a moment to take it all in. Everything was more intense, the lights were brighter, the sounds were louder. They had made it.
He had to stop himself from bouncing on his feet while he waited to be introduced before the first game.
But then the unthinkable happened.
“Number 11, Tsukishima Hotaru.”
Kei froze. He was completely unable to move. He didn’t know what to do in this situation. What was the correct course of action?
Someone must have done something because the announcer corrected himself, “I’m sorry, number 11, Tsukishima Kei.”
Kei mechanically took his place on the court.
It could all be written off as a simple mistake, right? Hotaru and Kei were written the same way, it was part of the reason he chose the name.
He looked around at his teammates.
They knew.