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Today was a very rare occurrence. Cyno, Alhaitham, Dehya, Nilou, Candace, and Layla were all together in a booth in Puspa Cafe. It was pouring outside but they’ve successfully snagged a table inside the bustling establishment.
As Cyno and Layla were still extremely occupied with their studies, and the rest had their own respective exhausting jobs, meetups where they were all present were few and far between.
“You have to try this coffee! I promise, it’s so good!” Nilou enthusiastically encouraged, nudging the cup toward the mercenary.
Dehya likewise nudged the cup but towards Layla this time. “If anything, this girl’s the one who needs it. And I’m laying off caffeine for a while, sorry babe.”
Nilou pouted but conceded as she sat back down in her seat. Layla curiously sniffed the cup. “Relax, it’s not gonna hurt you.” Candace jested.
“It might be too bitter!”
With a fond smile, Nilou shook her head. “It’s not, believe me! Just be careful because it’s hot.” The Rtawahist student cautiously picked up the beverage, taking a sip.
“Ah!”
“Layla!”
“Wait, don’t spit it out–”
While they continued on with their antics, Alhaitham eyed his boyfriend who was sitting beside him. ‘He’s quiet,’ his brows furrowed worriedly, ‘Too quiet.’
“By the way, what’s Cyno going to order? He’s the only one who hasn’t yet.” Candace asked, concerned their friend would starve.
Alhaitham was about to respond but was cut off. “Oh, Alhaitham ordered tahchin.” These were Cyno’s first words since their earlier greetings when they entered. “It’s my favorite, so I’ll be eating that now.”
Dehya’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh? So that means when Alhaitham ordered, he ordered for you, and not himself?” All the while, Nilou was in the background helping Layla swallow down some water to help with the burn.
“I also like tahchin. And I’m still full from my lunch.” Alhaitham explained and looked at Cyno as he added, “It was delicious actually, so I’m quite satisfied.” He watched as Cyno’s cheeks warmed, his lover giving him a faint smile. He counted it as a win.
Cyno had been the one to prepare his lunch and Alhaitham most definitely devoured it greedily in his office at the Akademiya.
Dehya nodded understanding, “Hm, I see.”
If Alhaitham was being frank, he’d never bother to hide their domesticity. But Cyno had a (not so good) thing with public displays of affection. He was usually very direct but his own behaviors and actions that were motivated by romantic love made him blush like a virgin and so were kept on the down low, aside from the fact that Cyno was a rather private person.
The other four did most of the talking (with Layla nodding off every once in a while) and Alhaitham and Cyno would occasionally chime in. They mostly caught up on Dehya’s travels and Nilou’s tours. From time to time, Candace and Alhaitham exchanged insights as coach and professor respectively. And Cyno… well, he would empathize with Layla on the burdensome workload and pressures as a medical student.
But still that wasn’t much considering Layla was asleep half the time and Cyno was silent anyway, busying himself with finishing his meal. To Alhaitham, he even seemed to be pushing himself to eat in order to appear normal. He threw a subtle questioning look his way but decided he’d ask about it later. Instead, he settled for placing his hand on Cyno’s thigh, as if to remind him that he was right there.
Nilou was raving about a song she was currently writing when Alhaitham heard an almost indistinct clatter due to all the chatter and noise surrounding them. He seemed to be the only one who noticed, too, since their friends kept going with their conversation. From what he could see in his peripheral, Cyno leaned down to grab something. It must have been a utensil because a spoon was missing from his plate. Alhaitham covered the corner of the table— as Cyno was sitting on the outside —until the latter came back up. With the same hand, he picked out a new spoon from the cylindrical container provided to them when they were first served food, and laid it on his plate without a sound.
He did all these without taking his eyes off of the rest of the group. He guessed that Cyno, as usual, would rather that attention not be drawn to him. But it was also because of this that he missed the adoring look Cyno sent his way. The smaller of the two realized his boyfriend had placed his hand on the corner to prevent Cyno from bumping his head. Alhaitham was mindful and Cyno knew this, but he was a lot more sensitive than he thought.
A beautiful ache resonated in his chest down to his toes.
Eventually, Nilou mentioned she had to go attend a late night practice. They all agreed to conclude their get-together and meet again another time.
The moment they waved their goodbyes to one another, a horrifying realization hit Alhaitham: Cyno hadn’t cracked a single joke the entire time they’d all been together. Nothing.
Alarmed, he swiftly turned to look at Cyno as said boy tugged on his coat. “Let’s go?” Alhaitham opened his mouth but only ended up nodding. It could wait.
They walked side by side until they reached their still rather new home. A few months back in the summer, they moved in together following Alhaitham’s casual proposal.
“We’re both often at the Akademiya but are still separated if you really think about it. We might as well maximize time this way.”
“Yes, might as well.”
(Cyno did appear aloof but the way he immediately bought Alhaitham a new book as well as a few cards for Genius Invokation TCG (which were also used in a game together later on, by the way) spoke volumes of his joy and enthusiasm, much to Alhaitham’s own delight.)
At the turn of their key, they opened the door and entered, taking off their shoes.
Cyno made a beeline for the couch and allowed his body to sink into it. Meanwhile, Alhaitham headed straight for the kitchen, opening their refrigerator to check what had to be on their next grocery list. “I noticed you were quiet today.” He began as he rummaged through their food.
His boyfriend didn’t immediately respond but when he did, Alhaitham had to strain a little to hear him. “I am always quiet.” Shutting the fridge, he spun around. He walked towards the rack near the door and let his coat cascade down his back, placing it on one of the hooks.
He then approached Cyno who was now sitting upright, his hands in his lap.
Alhaitham couldn’t help but briefly think about how those hands fit perfectly in his own. He stood in front of Cyno, reaching out and raising his chin with his forefinger.
Cyno looked like a Jueyun Chili, his ears growing warm as well. His gaze met Alhaitham’s anyway, and the taller man had to refrain from inhaling sharply at the sight.
It wasn’t that this view was new but that it was as breathtaking as the first time. Cyno’s eyes were the sun setting on the horizon, so brilliant that Alhaitham believed they were more celestial than that star could ever be.
“Quiet as you may be, you were always expressive– at least around me.” Alhaitham replied. He watched Cyno’s lips part by a margin as they trembled. In his haste to comfort him, he caressed his smooth olive skin with his knuckles. “What’s wrong, ya helo?” The usual steady beat of his heart picked up, now much more alarmed at the crestfallen expression Cyno had taken.
It didn’t suit his lover at all.
Cyno took a shaky breath to rein himself in along with Alhaitham’s ever-constant touch. “A patient died today.”
The hand on his cheek moved to his own, and the sofa cushion dipped while Alhaitham sat beside him. Their knees bumped slightly. And because Cyno knew it was on purpose, a small wave of affection for his boyfriend washed over him.
But he added solemnly, “I failed to save them.”
For a while, Alhaitham didn’t say anything in response. This wasn’t the first time Cyno experienced death, but it was the first time he experienced death in his (future) line of work. Moreover, he gauged Cyno’s behavior today and considered his idiosyncrasies. The instinct to protect the person he cherished the most was also making itself especially prominent.
“That will never define you as a doctor, not even as a person.” Alhaitham’s fingers circled Cyno’s palm as if to memorize each and every single intricate line. “You are not what you say you are. Rather, you are what you do. And today,” He paused his caresses only to look his lover in the eye. “You did your utmost as you always have.”
Alhaitham had the tendency to make Cyno’s heart hurt in the best ways. He was bad for Cyno’s heart, but it hurt so good that it didn’t matter. The med student thought that this must be the only pain that he never wanted to forget.
“There are many out there and in the future who need you and will rely on you, exactly because it is clear to everyone that you take your duties seriously. That’s the kind of person you are, and one of the many things I admire about you.”
Cyno’s free hand gripped the sofa cushion, listening to Alhaitham appreciatively albeit silently. “It is better that you can say that you have exhausted every way you could have gone. I would even bet all my books that you went above and beyond.” Cyno heard the precise moment Alhaitham’s voice melted into something more tender. “Ya rouhi, even if it may hurt to understand, it might have been out of your hands from the start. But that does not mean your efforts were meaningless,” His body started to shake and tremble as warm tears finally dripped down his cheeks. He leaned into Alhaitham’s embrace when the taller man opened his arms just for him to fit into.
“Because you have treated their life with respect until the very end. All lives are equal in your eyes and that is a part of what it means to be a great doctor.” Unable to help himself, he grabbed onto Alhaitham’s work shirt, wailing like a child.
But Alhaitham didn’t mind. Of course he didn’t. He especially treasured moments when Cyno was all but open and bare. “Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want it to, and sometimes we don’t understand why they don’t. And that’s okay.”
Around half an hour passed, the moon well into the sky, high and bright. Its light shone through the windows and only Cyno’s sniffles could be heard the whole time. Alhaitham held him through everything, keeping him as close as he could without suffocating him.
“Life,” Cyno hiccuped, “Sucks sometimes.”
Despite himself, the corners of Alhaitham’s lips tugged upwards at Cyno’s statement. “I think so too. But personally, I find that it sucks less with you.”
After blowing his nose with the tissue from the box they set on their coffee table, Cyno made himself comfortable on the sofa again. The distance between them was almost non-existent when Alhaitham cradled his face and kissed his tear-stained cheeks.
“Thank you… for comforting me, and saying all that.” Cyno murmured as he burrowed his face into Alhaitham’s neck.
“I hope you realize that those weren’t just words of comfort. I said it because you need to be reminded of certain truths.” Yeah, this is my boyfriend, he thought.
“Let me get you some water. You have to be pretty dehydrated at this point.” Alhaitham pressed his lips against Cyno’s temple and reluctantly pulled away from their half-embrace.
Before he could even get a glass, however, Cyno came up to him. He tilted his head, “Baby? What is it—” But he never got to finish because Cyno tiptoed and pulled him down by his necktie to give him a deep kiss.
Alhaitham froze but only for a moment. He closed his eyes and circled Cyno’s waist while he returned it.
Cyno fervently hoped that it conveyed his appreciation of not only how Alhaitham was there for him as always, but also of how grateful he was that Alhaitham was his partner.
When they pulled apart, a gorgeous blush could clearly be seen on Cyno’s cheeks. It was an overall rare sight, but Alhaitham alone had seen it countless times before. Still, he smiled— lovingly, helplessly, as he whispered, “I know. I’m thankful too.”
Bad day or not, Alhaitham was there by the end of it.
He was more than everything Cyno prayed for.