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"are the cupcakes readyyy?"
the decision of letting these four guys spend the afternoon at your place was a blunder. terribly, horribly, greatly - a historic blunder.
you shoot geto an exasperated look. the boy simply shrugs back, lips twitching, as he takes a water bottle from the fridge and saunters back to wherever the hell he emerged from.
beside you, meanwhile, nanami continues to mutter the ingredients under his breath - the thousandth time in the past hour - making you wonder if you can survive a jump from your fourth-storeyed flat's kitchen window or not.
maybe not, you decide, cracking three eggs open and pouring them into the bowl. and even if you do, it's not worth the risk, anyways. you might've got money to burn but you would much rather not burn it all on hospital bills, thank you.
"hey, they said two eggs, not three," your classmate's solemn voice draws you from your thoughts. glancing at the boy, then at the bowl, then back at him, you feel the corners of your lip lift in a tense grin.
"that recipe you are reading's all wrong," you state, snatching the cookbook from him with one hand and snapping it shut, "my mom always baked me and my brothers cakes in our childhood. trust me, i know. i might've never baked before but it's in my blood."
you watch nanami open his mouth, then close it, then open it again - only to close it. and the metaphorical bulb lights up in your brain.
a teasing smile now carving its way onto your lips, you return to the batter, adding, "don't get stressed, kento-kun. i'm pretty sure yu-kun will looove the cupcakes. just as much as you love him."
a sputter followed by a cough sounds next to you. "hey, that- that's not true. what're you talking about?" the blond exclaims indignantly.
the whisk dropped into the batter, a loud gasp escapes you as you twist to face him. "are you implying your love for yu-kun is fake, then? oh gosh! and here i thought you were a decent person, kento-kun!" you cry out dramatically, placing a hand over your forehead.
"hey, no, that's not it," the boy refutes your claims in an instant. you watch in glee how his otherwise-stoic features grow bashful. "my feelings for haibara-kun aren't fake. they are real. quite a lot so."
"oh, is it so?" you ask in faux-curiosity, then turn to the boy, genuinely wondering, "then why don't you confess to him? yu-kun will accept it in a heartbeat, i'm sure of that."
a couple of seconds pass before the smile falls from your face, giving way to a mighty frown, as you watch the boy next to you grow silent, desolation dimming his gaze as he returns to finding the cupcake moulds.
in your sixteen years of existence, you've always viewed love as... just that. lovely. exceedingly so.
yes, you have never experienced it yourself yet, but everyone else always described it as wonderful, leaving one happy and giddy and just splendid at the end of the day.
then why does kento-kun's face grow grave at love's very mention?
"are you scared of losing him one day, kento-kun?" you ask him quietly, the words tumbling out your mouth before you registering, while you add the other ingredients - brown sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla extract - into the bowl and start whisking them again.
a long while passes - one wherein two excited yells sound from the living room, accompanied by a dramatic whine (you know whose) - after which your question receives a reply.
except, it's your inquiry thrown back at you.
"aren't you scared of losing your loved ones?" nanami asks, just as quietly as you did. in the background, yet another dramatic cry rings through the air-conditioned air.
and your mind, as if on auto-pilot, flies back to that one night a week ago you spent in the infirmary.
the night you felt the most terrified. the most penitent. the loneliest.
the mission was worded to be an easy one, a simple in-and-out kind.
gojo and you decided to visit the ruins of a shrine in nikko, kill the special-grade curse wreaking havoc there, and finally go to the patisserie nearby, he had been singing praises for, for weeks and days at end.
that was the plan, that would have been the reality too - an awesome reality to mark the start of your much-loved summer holidays - until everything went haywire, that is.
there was no one special-grade curse, there were multitudes of them. and if that wasn't enough, to couple that woe, the walls were too, too derelict and weak to bear the brunt of either of your cursed energy blows, let alone your joint attacks.
the tragedy, however, lay not in either of the facts.
the tragedy lay in gojo's and your ignorance of both of them.
before either of you could realize what's wrong, whilst you two were relaxing for a beat, having exorcised all the curses, bodies tired and bruised, the ages-old shrine came caving in on you - the roof, the walls, the everything.
and gojo, being gojo - the absolute self-sacrificing idiot you never knew he could be - chose to turn his infinity off in favour of pulling you under his tall frame, bearing the weight of the crash all upon his back.
the entire trip back to school and everything that happened after is all a blurry mess in your brain now.
save for the metallic stench of blood, the leaden weight of guilt, the sympathetic soft voices and the ice-cold hand you kept rubbing circles on and on, and pressing kisses to, throughout the night till the morning next - when a familiar pair of clear blue eyes opened, blinking blearily, and crinkled in a grin at your sight, raspy voice asking if you would mind visiting the shop a couple of days later.
your cheeks feel awfully wet as you recount those details - and you huff a watery chuckle.
"i too am scared, i guess," you admit in a hushed tone, pouring the batter into the moulds - eight, not twelve, you remind yourself, 'cause shoko went to visit family and geto's going on that date you're forcing him to go. a beat passes in utter silence before you feel a pair of arms pull you gently into a side-embrace.
"i didn't intend to make you cry, sorry," nanami says in a kind voice. you immediately open your mouth, wanting to say it's not his fault; the boy shushes you, continuing, just as gently, "why don't you take a small break, hm? only the frosting's left, right? i'll call haibara. both of us can handle it from here."
betraying your brimming eyes, you throw him an impish grin. "are you sure this wasn't some ploy to get some alone-time with your boyfie?"
"no, it wasn't," your classmate says, rolling his eyes in annoyance, though the smile on his lips tell you otherwise. accepting the napkin from him, you let him maneuver you towards the living room, an arm slung around your shoulders, when he speaks up again, "geto senpai will be leaving for his date in another couple of minutes. he's already ready."
your brows furrow a tad as you glance at him from the corner of your eyes. nanami hates stating the obvious... then why is he now?
"of course, i know that. i was the one who set him up on that date, remember?" you say, perplexed, "so?"
"so..." the blond drawls with a rare wide grin. did the sun rise in the west today or something of the sort?
"you should've realized by now, it was a ploy to get you some alone-time with your boyfie."
an indignant gasp escaping, you twist in his grasp, ready to deny his mind-boggling claims - then stop when you catch gojo grin at you, waving not unlike a maniac, from where he is slouched on the couch.
ignoring the tight feeling in your chest (must have been a heartburn from that stale pizza), you grin back at your shades-wearing senpai, waving just as wildly.
nanami's an idiot - you decide as you sit down carefully next to the white-haired boy - he's still healing, after all - and kiss his bandaged forehead. your two classmates, meanwhile, keep rambling, like the pining fools they've been of late.
ignoring them, you focus on your ruminations instead - yeah, you're certainly not in love with your gojo senpai. it's just that-
"hey, were you crying?" musings broken in half by a gentle thumb on the apple of your cheeks, you peer up at the boy, only to find him frowning, concern clear-as-day behind his goggles.
biting your lower lip to keep it from wobbling, you shake your head 'no' and snuggle into his side, relishing in the warmth he offers, the balmy discomfort of 39°C be damned.
asking you no more questions, gojo simply pulls you even closer into himself; you close your eyes to restrain your tears.
tears of joy.
tears of relief.
tears of something new, something wonderful, you can't name yet, but have a hunch, can soon.
encased in your dear (not beloved, just dear) senpai's comforting touch, your lost train of thought revisits you, waiting to be finished.
a warm smile appears on your lips.
it's just that you'll do anything in this world - without an ounce of reluctance - if it means you always get to see that goofy, careless, adorable, genuine grin on his face, you've grown to cherish so much.