Chapter Text
She’s not sure how much time has passed. All that she knows is that, one minute, she’s doing shots with Keeley in a restaurant full of people, and the next, nearly everyone is gone and Sam is asking if they’re okay to get home. She assures him they are, waving her phone at him to show that she’s texted her driver to pick them up. Or at least she hopes she has.
“We’ll wait outside for him, yeah?” Keeley says, sliding her arm through Rebecca’s and leading them toward the door. She’s more steady on her feet and Rebecca tries to remember just how much she’s had to drink and if Keeley had matched her drink for drink or not. She cannot remember, but it seems unlikely.
She stops as they’re nearly out the door, turning to look back at Sam, who is laughing with his chef. There’s a moment of pain, a twisting in her gut, but it isn’t because she wants Sam back. He deserves to be with someone wonderful who is his own age and she’s so glad he seems to have that now. No, the pain isn’t because she wants Sam - green matchbook be damned - but because she wants what she sees him having now. The sweet beginnings of a relationship, the true partnership they seem to show. “Sam,” she calls and he looks up at her, even as she feels Keeley tugging her arm, perhaps trying to stop her from saying something stupid. But she isn’t Tish. She won’t say something stupid and hurtful. Instead she offers him what she hopes is a smile and says, sincerely, “Congratulations. Truly.”
It takes some effort to be sure she’s getting the words out correctly, her tongue heavy in her mouth and her head still swirling, but she thinks she manages and she hopes she’s said it in the right way to convey that she’s not just referring to the restaurant.
He seems to understand, smiling softly at her as he replies. “Thank you, Rebecca.”
He and the chef head to the kitchen and she and Keeley stumble out to the curb to wait on Charlie. He pulls up a moment later and they climb into the backseat, but just as she’s about to pull the door shut, it’s tugged back open.
“Is this the car to the afterparty?” Sassy asks as she climbs in beside Rebecca.
“Sassy!” Keeley exclaims excitedly.
The car pulls away and Rebecca feels a jolt, almost like she’s going to be ill, but she doesn’t think it has anything to do with the alcohol. The words come out before she can think better of them. “Surprised you’re here with us and not with Ted.”
Sassy tilts her head as she studies her. “Careful, Stinky. You sound jealous.”
Rebecca scoffs and rolls her eyes, even as she feels a flash of something hot running through her veins.
“But then, I suppose I would be jealous of me too,” Sassy smirks, “if I knew I’d just gotten done blowing Zava in the bathroom.”
Keeley shrieks. “No! You didn’t!”
“No, I didn’t,” Sassy admits, “but god, could you imagine?”
She wags her eyebrows as she wipes at the corner of her mouth and red flashes across Rebecca’s vision. “What the fuck, Sass? I thought you and Ted were - were -”
Sassy laughs. “Oh, c’mon, Stinky, Marlboro Man is no Zava. We had one absolutely fantastic shag, as I’ve already told you, but that’s all it was, despite my best efforts, so you can’t blame me.”
Rebecca’s head feels like it’s spinning again. The words won’t come out and she doesn’t know if it’s because she’s drunk or because she’s shocked. “Wh - wha -”
“I mean, to be fair, you can’t blame Ted either.” Sassy shrugs, the picture of nonchalance. “While a funeral might make me want to have lots of life-affirming sex, the same, sadly, could not be said for our Marlboro Man.”
“But he - and you - you left with -”
“Mm, I thought for sure he’d be up for some fun, but no. Turns out all he wanted was a drink and a chat - about you and how you were doing with everything.” Sassy rolls her eyes. “Twat.” She once again directs the word at Rebecca and Rebecca still can’t understand why, but the heat - the anger - continues to grow under her skin.
“And while I may be fully into revenge sex, if tonight is anything to go by, he apparently isn’t.”
“Revenge sex?” Keeley giggles. “What would Ted need to have revenge sex for?”
Sassy looks over at Rebecca, but Rebecca is just staring at her, as though trying to figure out an answer to a question no one has asked. “You don’t know?”
Rebecca blinks, squinting at Sassy in the low light of the car, trying to calm her swimming mind and focus on what Sassy is saying now, not the bomb she just dropped on Rebecca’s head about her father’s funeral. “I don’t whoa nut?”
Sassy chuckles at her mistake. “How much did you have to drink while I was away, hmm?” She looks from Rebecca to Keeley.
“It was a celebration!” Keeley says.
“Yes,” Sassy nods, “for some of us more than others - and for Stinky here the most, apparently.”
“Fuck off!” Rebecca shoves her, maybe a little harder than intended, maybe exactly as hard as intended, the words coming out clearly. “What the fuck are you on about? Me knowing what about Ted?”
“About Ted’s ex. I mean, it practically spilled out of him the moment he started talking to me, so I can’t believe he hasn’t told you.”
And oh, there’s a stab of pain again, this time sharper, and right in her heart. Because, yes, she and Ted are closer this season than last, what with Biscuits with the Boss happening regularly again, but there’s still something missing. He’s still holding himself back from her and she cannot deny that she’s doing the same with him. Giving him glimpses, but then quickly hiding away behind armor that she doesn’t know how to take off anymore, not with Rupert always looming in the background, waiting to strike.
Keeley’s eyes go wide and she leans forward, looking around Rebecca to Sassy. “What about Ted’s ex?”
Rebecca zooms back into the conversation, her gaze fixed tightly on Sassy’s face, her stomach churning and her heart pounding as she waits for her response.
“Turns out she’s dating their ex-marriage counselor.” Sassy shrugs.
“She’s WHAT?” Rebecca exclaims vehemently, anger coursing through her so swiftly, it steals her breath.
“Oh no.” Keeley says beside her, voice sad and low. “Poor Ted.”
And that just makes everything burn brighter. She is ablaze with hatred, it’s thrumming through her veins in a way that it hasn’t in years - since Ted had come into her life and slowly quenched her anger, allowing her to feel other things. Her hands are shaking as she digs through her clutch, searching for her phone.
“Rebecca, what are you doing?”
“I’m - I’m calling Ted. I’m calling Ted and I swear to Christ, if he doesn’t phick up his pone, I’m going over to his flat and I’m going to deat on his boor until -”
Keeley’s hands drop over Rebecca’s, stalling her movements. Sassy’s looking at her with shrewd eyes. “Jesus, Stinky. It’s gone one. Marlboro Man left the restaurant hours ago. He’s probably sound asleep right now.”
Keeley gives her hands a gentle squeeze.
“He shouldn’t be alone,” Rebecca protests, her voice softer, some of the rage burned out, leaving sadness behind.
“No, he shouldn’t, but he turned down my company so… what are you gonna do?” Sassy shrugs again, trying to turn it into a joke. It isn’t a joke. Not at all. Her expression must give her away because Sassy looks at her and then turns serious again - or as serious as she can. “Listen, I understand that this might be bringing up some things for you, triggering some responses -”
“Sassy,” Keeley’s voice is warning.
Sassy bites her lip. “You don’t need to worry about Ted, that’s all I’m saying. From what I gathered, he’s known about this for a while now.”
The pain flares through her chest again, spirals of it webbing out through her veins, through her whole body, anger and sadness flowing too. He’s known about this for a while, but he’s said nothing. He’s been suffering alone.
Rebecca straightens her back and pulls her hands from Keeley’s grasp, bringing the phone up so that she can see it.
“Rebecca,” Keeley warns again.
But she shakes her head.
“I’m not calling Ted. I’m calling Tom.”
“Who the fuck is Tom?”
“My pilot.”
“Your pilot?” Keeley blinks. “Why are you calling your pilot this late at night, babe?”
“Because I need him to fly me to Kansas,” she says, simple as anything, her fingers scrolling through her contact list.
Sassy laughs. “And what are you going to do in Kansas, exactly?”
“Tell Michelle what a fucking bitch she is, for starters.”
“Woah! Babe!”
The car stops and Rebecca jerks forward, unable to stop her momentum. Keeley uses the opportunity to grab her phone and shove it in her bag.
“Fucking hell, Stinky!” Sassy says as she opens the door and climbs out of the car. “I know it’s borderline unethical, but they’re divorced. I don’t know why you’re getting so worked-up about this.”
Rebecca gets out of the car, swaying slightly on the spot, her eyes ablaze. “She ruined Oklahoma for him!”
Sassy and Keeley exchange a look over Rebecca’s head, nodding to each other. Keeley leans over to thank Charlie and tell him he can leave them all here for the night while Sassy begins to guide Rebecca toward the front door. “She ruined a whole state for him?”
Rebecca pulls to a stop, yanking her arm from Sassy’s grasp. “Not the state. The musical! She ruined it for him! Her and that - that man!”
Keeley makes it up to the porch, taking Rebecca’s clutch and pulling out her keys while she continues to rant.
“And now Michelle has the audacity to date him? To even further sully the musical for Ted? How dare she?”
By an unspoken agreement, they bypass the downstairs - and any more alcohol - and guide Rebecca to her bedroom, helping to get her ready for bed. She rants about Michelle the entire time.
“She’s - she’s toxic!” she growls. Sassy’s eyebrows raise as Keeley hums an affirmative, removing Rebecca’s jewelry. “And he’s not any better - that absolute fucking wanker! When I get to Kansas, I’m going to punch him right in his stupid twat mouth!”
They’ve gotten her into her pajamas - Keeley only sneaking a few peeks while doing so - and are trying to get her make-up off when Rebecca grabs Keeley’s wrists, her eyes big and watery.
“How could she do that? How could she hurt him like that? After she’s already hurt him so much?”
Keeley sighs and carefully brushes the make-up remover cloth over Rebecca’s face, taking the moisture spilling over with it. “I don’t know, babe.”
“He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve any of it. Not what I did, not what Nathan did, not what she did. None of it.”
“No, he doesn’t. But he’s got us now, don’t he? And we’ll take care of him.”
“I, for one, would love to take care of him.”
“Sassy,” Keeley tries to warn, but Rebecca has already spun on her, the sadness gone and the anger back full force.
“Fuck you, Florence!”
“Ooh, the first name. I really must be in trouble,” she laughs.
“This isn’t a juddy bloke!” Rebecca hisses. Sassy dissolves in laughter.
“Sass, c’mon,” Keeley says, trying to guide Rebecca to the bed, “stop it.”
“I’m sorry, Jones.” Sassy wipes at her eyes, laughter still in her voice, “But this whole thing is just -” she waves her hand at Rebecca as though that explains everything.
Keeley gives her a pointed look as she pulls the covers back, allowing Rebecca to climb into the bed. Once she’s settled though, she seems to realize where she is, and that it isn’t where she wants to be. She tries to get out of the bed, but she’s tangled in the sheets.
“Woah! Rebecca, where are you going?”
Sassy snorts. “Probably to fight Ted’s toxic ex-wife and the bloke she’s dating for him.”
“Someone’s got to! Someone’s got to fight for him, because he won’t fight for himself! Not against Nathan and his bullshit, not against the goddamn rags, not against Michelle and their fucking marriage counselor -”
“So he’s a pacifist. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t have some fire inside. Speaking from experience, I can say -”
“Shut up, Sassy,” Keeley hisses.
“He’s not a paci- paci -” Rebecca shakes her head angrily. “He does fight. He fights for me.”
Keeley smiles, her voice soft. “Yeah, he does.”
“Your very own knight in shining armor, hey, Stinky?”
“Yes.” Rebecca nods emphatically. “He is. And now it’s my turn. I’m going to be his shite in nining armor now.”
“And that’s wonderful, you sexy Lancelot, you. Really,” Keeley says, sitting down on the bed and gently guiding her back toward the pillows. “But how about you get a good night’s sleep and start in the morning?”
Rebecca’s eyes slip closed and she nods. “I’m calling Tom in the morning,” she says before she falls asleep.
Sassy waits until she and Keeley are downstairs before speaking. “Well holy shite in nining armor! I thought she was still mooning over Sam and instead she’s ready to go to battle for Ted. Jesus, Jones, why didn’t you tell me she was in love with him?”
Keeley looks up the stairs and then back to Sassy. “Because I only just realized recently. And because she doesn’t know it yet.”
Sassy shakes her head. “And he doesn’t know he’s in love with her yet either, but he clearly is. Fuck, what a pair they make.”
“They will though,” Keeley hooks her arm through Sassy’s as they head for the door, “make a great pair once they realize.”
Sassy pats Keeley’s hand, glancing back at the stairs before she pulls the door closed. “Yeah. They will.”